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You can only pick games for so many seasons before you get burned out and bored out of your, ur, you're, yoar mind. Let's try something different shall we.........

 The race for social co ed football immortality is about to begin lets handicap the field:

 

DIVISION #1

 

THE FIELD

 PUBLIC ENEMY 3-1

EYES DOWNTOWN 4-1

33 SPEAKEASY 5-1

BOMBERS 10-1

THREAD 11-1

#XTC 12-1

VARSITY BLUES 12-1

HOSTILE TAKE OVER 25-1

 

THE SKINNY: D1 is a wide open race. I am hearing rumors some teams might have a bunch of attendance issues in round #2 if they survive Saturday.  Will Bloomfield and Montesanti show up together and will the Bombers to a shocking D1 title run? Are the rumors true and will this be the last session for Varsity Villains? Eyes Downtown and Public Enemy have been on a collision course for each other for 3 sessions now in a title game but fate keeps having other ideas will this finally be the game both have been waiting on for multiple seasons? Is there any team in this field liked more than #XTC? Will the brothers Battaglia will 33 to another title run or will they bring their "unlucky" playoff record to 33 and will this cause a 33 first round melt down? Has Hostile Takeover already signed the petition and emailed it to Topper asking him to send them back down to D2 or are they about to play their best game of the season ? Is Cory Turner cooking something interesting up for the playoffs and if so is THREAD about to shock the world?

Biggest round #1 lock: Public Enemy over Hostile Takeover

Biggest chance of an upset: The Bombers over 33 Speakeasy

D1 Dark Horse: The Bombers

Would it be funny if: Bloomfield and Montesanti both show up week #10 and #11 and Bombers out of no where take home the D1 title. 

No just no: Burr is 100% healthy, Wilkinson returns and Varsity Blues shocks the world and wins the D1 title. At the banquet they smash the trophy to a chorus of boos and walk off the stage declaring they are the champs and they are retiring.... mic drop. 

Yes please: Tommy Hughes disgusted with attendance issues grabs the rock and wills #XTC to their first ever D1 title and solidifies himself as the greatest TSL'er of all time as he wins yet another D1 title with yet another team. At the banquet he wins TSL MVP, D1 MVP and of all his many trophy wins he is asked which one is your favorite he says "I've played  11 TSL seasons and I have 11 Best Tommy Hughes those are my favorites." 

 

 

DIVISION #2

 

THE FIELD

ANGRY BUFFALO 4-1

WITTERS 5-1

TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION 6-1

NO MOHR DUBEY 8-1

GRAY AND ASSOCIATES 8-1

BAD APPLES 12-1

THE REPLACEMENTS 20-1

PRIME TIME PLAYERS 100-1

 

THE SKINNY: Angry Buffalo finally got things moving with a big win over TEIM. They are thanking their lucky stars they didn't draw The Replacements in round #1. Witters seems to be getting very little pub right now but they have a decent QB, super solid girls and a very stable very heady squad that could go far in this playoff. I don't think there is a better race in this league than in D2 as anyone of like 6 teams could win this thing. Is there a more highly anticipated first round game than GNA V NMD.? This game will be bedlam!!!!  If I was TEIM I would be very afraid of an upset if they can't figure out ways to get the ball distributed farther than 6-8 yards. Throwing for 7.5 yards is solid but it won't work if teams think that's as far as you are prepared to run routes.   If defenses push up on them they could get upset early in this playoff. Katie Salisbury could easily be the best girl in D2 and one of the best in the game but she plays on a team that struggles and that's a shame because that girl can go beast mode on anyone.  All is quiet on the Bad Apples front. They are one of the most physically gifted teams in the division but did they retain enough in season knowledge to shock teams in the playoffs? There is an awful lot of big game and title experience on the Gray and Associates side lines. I'm jut sayin...... 

Biggest round #1 lock: Angry Buffalo over Prime Time Players

Biggest chance of an upset: The Replacements over Tight Ends In Motion

D2 Dark Horse: Gray and Associates

Would it be funny if: Prime Time Players beat The Replacements in the D2 finals and all this talk of the teams at the top is all for not.

No just no: Gray and Associates summons Joy, Robby and every other blast from the past they can think of to show up and win the D2 title but Topper refuses to hand them a trophy for winning. They then submit the same roster as this session for the fall but say "We just want to play with our friends but feel D3 would be less stressful than the nonsense happening in D2."

Yes Please: Travis takes NMD on a magical journey and No Mohr Dubey wins the D2 title again.  One week before the Fall Session starts Travis gets a phone call and Val breaks up with him to start dating Big Paulie as Val and Big Paulie become the biggest TSL Power Couple in history.  Travis once again is left to wonder if he will ever get to play in D1. In a tactical move of brilliance he decides to start dating Taylor Pagano . Travis's new team is called Oh Tay and he finally makes it to D1. 12 hours before the seasons starts and on no sleep because he is so excited for his D1 debut Travis gets a phone call and D1 is retracted forever. 

 

 

DIVISION #3

 

THE FIELD

 SHOWTIME 4-1

1 TOPPER TOO MANY 5-1

DMX 6-1

STICKY BANDITS 7-1

GRYFFINDOR 8-1

MICKEY RATS 10-1

BULLET CLUB 15-1

SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE GIRLS 25-1

 

THE SKINNY: Showtime is on fire as they won "battle of the Ricky's." Ricky FN Austin is now poised to go back to back D3 title runs. Showtime is loaded on both sides of the ball but do they fear an impeding battle with longtime rival Topper and Co? DMX made the dance last session and is playing lights out down the stretch they could easily be the D3 dark horse and could shock the world. Will Gryffindor once again melt down in round #1 of the playoffs and if so will we ever hear from  the brothers Battaglia again? Bullet Club looks like an interesting play at 15-1 if and only if they can get their squad in at 100% attendance. How magical would it be if The Topper finally after all this time threw his team on his back and took Team Topper to the promise land? If so will Topper schedule a press conference and announce his retirement from active playing? 

Biggest round #1 lock: DMX over Mickey Rats

Biggest chance of an upset: Bullet Club over 1 Topper too Many

D3 Dark Horse: DMX

Would it be funny if: Team Topper does the impossible and after all this time finally takes home the D3 title. In a fit of rage Todd Geoffrey Nixon retires. The very next day on face book live at the 5 Star Productions Studio Topper calls a special press conference where he announces his retirement along with Lenny and they bestow the TSL on Joe K and B's Brother. B's Brother then announces that opening day will be Free Taco Day as the TSL now has 88 teams. Due to all the free tacos TSL goes out of business 3 weeks later. Joe K opens up JKSL 1 week later with 56 teams and all is right with the universe. Boccio commits suicide as he doesn't know what to do with his life for the 7 days there is no football league. He is found dead with a Yings Menu on his chest and a letter that says "I am going to join Aladdin and all the other super heroes in the sky I'll get there in my magical flying hansom cab. Your all going to miss me"   At the funeral Margo sadly texts the Topper Super Kool Telegram Chain Team you're for the last time :(

No just no: Gryffindor shocks the world and finally takes home the D3 title. Joey Batts takes the ball from Brother Nero and throws for 26 tds and 1 interception that bounces off Brother Nero's head during the playoffs. Joey Batts then gets D3 MVP, TSL MVP, D1 D2 D4 D5 and D6 MVP and then walks up to the podium at the banquet and gives a 6 minute speech on how good he is and how bad we all are. Out of no where 374 foam mini footballs fly through the air as Joey Batts drops the mic. He then hops in his car hooks up his dash cam and heads for B's Brothers house. 

 

 

DIVISION #4

 

THE FIELD 

WHY SO SERIOUS 3-2

A&A 4-1

FULL THROTTLE 15-1

HUNG BUFFALO 20-1

AARP 25-1

HOMETECH 30-1

BREW CREW 100-1

INDECENT EXPOSURE 150-1

 

THE SKINNY: Is there really anything that can stop A&A vs Why So Serious? WSS looks to be ready to dismantle D4 and on their way to D3. They have a solid team top to bottom. A&A are the defending champs and always seem to kick things up a notch when the playoffs start. AARP has been down for so long but for once they are in the playoffs and have a decent shot against Hung Buffalo. Which Hung Buffalo shows up the one that won 3 in a row or the one that lost 4 in a row? Where would Indecent Exposure have been if they didn't have all the injuries they have had? Can Hometech be a pest and shock someone this week? Are they thinking about the playoffs or their impeding battle with 3rd and Schlong?

Biggest round #1 lock: Why So Serious over Indecent Exposure.

Biggest chance of an upset: AARP over Hung Buffalo.

D4 Dark Horse: Full Throttle

Would it be funny if: WSS crushes D4 and heads to D3 where Darryl awaits them .WSS draws Cobblestone in week #1. Due to both teams using the same gals and wearing the same uni's both teams agree to the first ever 5 on 5 game and split the girls right down the middle as each squad gets one. Neither teams concedes their jersey color and we have the first ever 5 on 5 Purple Classic. 

No just no: AARP beats Hung Buffalo, A&A and WSS back to back to back to take home the D4 title  in the shock of the century. Something looks weird as they all proclaim victory. Post game they all take off their AARP shirts and we find out they have TEIM and Sticky Bandits jerseys on under neath,. They then become the Sticky AARP Bandits in Motion Franchise and in the fall decide to be the first ever franchise to submit teams in D1-D6. They send Topper a 55 gallon box of white zinfandel with a note that says "Hey Top good luck with this schedule request."

 

 

 

DIVISION #5

 

THE FIELD

THE BAMBS 2-1

CUPCAKE 3-1

HOPE N RUIN 10-1

3RD AND SCHLONG 12-1

ALL WE DO IS QWINN 15-1

DEM BOYZ 25-1

SHAKE N BAKE STAMPEDE 50-1

IRON BUTTERFLIES 300-1

 

 

THE SKINNY: The Bambs are good but have so much pressure on them. They haven't had this much pressure on them since Victorious Stacked Secret shocked them many moons ago. Will the Bambs finally win it all? Cupcake is a battle tested team I am  sure they will have a few things to say about that. And what of the Keller Clan who has has been red hot down the stretch? HNR took the D6 title can they once again shock AWDIQ and the world and roll out of town D5 champs? Iron Butterflies will be happy to get the free pass to the dance but they will not be happy when they get crushed by The Bambs this week. I expect the Bambs to make a statement this week. SNB and Demboyz appear to be also rans at this point and neither will win place or show if to you ask me.  AWDIQ if they had the team they had in D6 could shock the world but I think that ship has sailed.

Biggest round #1 lock: The Bambs over Iron Butterflies

Biggest chance of an upset: All we do is Qwinn over 3RD and Schlong

D5 Dark Horse: None

Would it be funny if: For the playoffs we meet Cousin Fester Keller, Hellen Keller, Cyborg Keller, 15 year plan guy Keller and Sign Guy Dudley. The new recruits carry 3rd and Schlong to their first ever TSL title. Katie rhymes with Heller misses the championship game to go play free throw hoops at Dave and Busters with a certain TSL official and golf cart guy and still can't make up her mind so she runs off with B's Brother as the allure of fame fortune and TSL notoriety is too much for her to pass up. B's Brother now known as B's Brother Keller and Katie Rhymes with Heller get married 90 days later in the parking lot of Vibes as the entire TSL universe except Boccio (who killed himself earlier in the month see D3) is there. Everyone gets confused at the ceremony as we still aren't sure who are Kellers and who are B's actual Brothers.

No just no: Cupcake beats the Bambs all 19 of them and the Bambs finally realize football isn't for them as they de-mobilize and split into 4 factions and head to the North, South, East and West corners of the continent.  They decide to never speak of their time in social co ed football ever again. 

 

 

DIVISION #6

 

THE FIELD 

MATTY'S ANGELS 2-1

ACE 3-1

THE TOMMY HUGHES EXPERIENCE 8-1

RSS LADIES 15-1

THE MCKENZIE AGENCY 20-1

CELINO SEWER RATS 20-1

SANTA'S SECRET SAUCE 35-1

THE PRACTICE SQUAD 100-1

 

THE SKINNY: We keep hearing rumbles ACE will be short handed on June 24th. This is a shame if true as ACE V Matty's Angels would be one of the most eagerly anticipated battles of the past few years. Matty's Angels needs to play RSS Ladies again as last week was one of the better games of the season.  THE is in an interesting spot at 8-1 and could make some noise this playoff. After the top 4 squads the bottom half probably doesn't scare anyone. McKenzie made some early season noise but struggled mightily down the stretch. Celino seems to be getting hot late but they don't have the horses like the top 2-3 teams do. SSS is a hot mess on offense and The Practice Squad will need more time to gel. 

Biggest round #1 lock: ACE over The Practice Squad

Biggest chance of an upset: Celino Sewer Rats over The McKenzie Agency

D6 Dark Horse: The Tommy Hughes Experience

Would it be funny if: The rumors are true and ACE is short handed next week, gets shocked by RSS Ladies and we get our Girl Power final of RSS Ladies VS Matty's Angels. We have 1 week to promote our first ever all girl final in history and everyone looks forward to a dream match up buttttt.....Matty's Angels goes back to normal rules Travis plays defense, picks off Taylor 3x and Matty's Angels beats RSS Ladies 56-32 for the D6 title. At the banquet Matty and Emily both hoist the D6 trophy then out of no where Emily hits Matty Ice with Billy's steel chair and knocks him out cold. She takes off her Matty's Angels shirt to reveal a Diamond Dolls shirt underneath. SWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE. The banquet ends in a chorus of boos as Emily holding the D6 trophy and B's Brother now on stage holding the wine tournament belt stand tall over an un-conscious Matty Ice. They say "see you in the fall Matty Ice" as the banquet ends. 

No just no: The Tommy Hughes Experience draws Matty's Angels in the finals for the D6 title. Armed with Mike Ford who is 0-9 in title games THE decides there is only one way to stop the vaunted Matty's Angel offense. They hook a 100 inch TV screen up to a generator on the side lines and hire B's Brother to run their defense. He puts in Tecmo Bowl and calls all THE offenses/defenses for the entire game. THE beats Matty's Angels 18-6 in the shock of the century. Matty's Angels doesn't know how to react to the WR bubble screens, wish bone offense, installation of a full back,  5 people on defense, box and 1 and 1, the "pentagon" and 3/3.   After the game Matty Ice comes on the TSL podcast to talk about the shock of the century. On his way out Emily hits him over the head with a steel chair. She take off her Matty's Angel shirt only to reveal a Diamond Dolls Shirt underneath. SWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE

 

 

5 QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

1. Will B's brother ref another game this week in the playoffs? The man literally was a 15 out of 10 for his performance in the TMA v CSR game. Could the TSL break more walls and barriers and let Jeffy have at it again? Stay Tuned....

2.. Will anyone in D6 stop the ACE vs Matty's Angels dream match up? I say no but stranger things have happened. There is no more eagerly anticipated battle in the TSL this session than these 2 teams. Will ACE run away with the D6 title or will Matty's Angels shock the world? Or will one or both of them get shocked prior?

3. What must be going through the beautiful mind of one Joey Battaglia right now? No one knows better than he that Gryffindor is capable of winning the D3 title but something always keeps them from winning. Will they have bad luck again? Will they get hosed by refs? Will Joey get hurt and cause a free fall as his team can not win without their leader? I bet he is in hiding scared to death abut the possibilities of what could possibly happen next...

 4.  Is there a team with more pressure on them this playoffs than the Bambs? They are the team to beat. They are on fire. If they don't win the D5 title is that it? Can they go on? Should they retire and never play football again?  

5. Can the Topper finally achieve glory and bring home the D3  title?  He won't have a better look than this session. His team is solid on both sides of the ball and his opportunity might slowly slip away if they don't take home the title this session. 

 

 

10 final thoughts before game day

 1.  The game I have my eye on this week is in D2 when No Mohr Dubey takes on Gray and Associates. There are story lines abound in this one. I am hearing late rumors NMD will be short handed so Gray could take this one rather easily. Either way there will be all kinds of side stories in this one.  

 2. If you ask me the stories this session are in D2 and D3 as these races could be won by any number of teams. D2 and D3 are easily the strongest divisions in TSL. 

 3.  The McKenzie Agency will get one more crack at Celino Sewer Rats this week after disaster struck last Saturday. Will they fare better with their whole team ready to go? Did they learn from their mistakes? Will Ferger be able to suit up? Will dry TMA be able to function? There are all kinds of questions and un-certainty surrounding this team heading into a big time match up with CSR. 

 4. Varsity Blues has to be licking their chops as they draw Eyes Downtown this week. These 2 teams know each other very well. VB was wicked short handed a few week as ago and played ED super tough sans one bad Jay pic 2 weeks ago. VB has beaten ED before. This game should be bedlam as each team knows the other very well. Anything that can happen will happen in this one. 

 5  AARP and Hometech both easily could get most improved team of the year as each had a great run. Everyone doubted HT for jumping up to D4 but they look right at home. As for AARP they had an awesome winning streak in the middle of the session and their confidence continues to grow. No matter what happens Saturday each team can hang their heads high for a solid session. 

6. It's a shame Mickey Rats has regressed the way they have the past 3 or so weeks. I wonder if they get different people in this weeks game or if they are destined to suffer a first round knock out. 

 7. If I had to take a guess in breakfast club I would say: Peanut Butter Kelly Time 34 Angry Tailors 27   Share Bears 29 Vals Pals 26

 8. Angry Buffalo has been prone to be shocked every now and again and have an injury to worry about  could a full strength Prime Time Players shock the D2 world? They have size, they have speed and they have Katie Friggin Salisbury who is money in big games. This game might be closer than one would think 

 9.  If you need a girl sub you better have your request in today or you will play short. Please check face book and your emails for all playoff rules on subs. This is non negotiable. It's playoffs people you will play by the rules or you will be penalized. 

 10. Because I am contractually obligated to say so...Shari had an awesome day last Saturday. Shari is a beacon of light in an other wise dreary day. Shari makes us all better each and every one of us. Shari totally got her jersey back last week form Brandy.  She totally almost won the RSS Ladies game by herself with magical catches, she got in a fight with Burr and she totally used her super ninja nursing skills to re-set Raj from Prime Time Players jammed finger into place. Incidentally Shari there is a small matter you need to address with the TSL when able. I do believe a certain young lady promised to assume the role of Cookie Monster this season and well.......its week #10 this week.  I'm ...just....sayin'.....

 

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CYA Saturday......

 

 

GF OUT

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