Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, Week 2 of the TSL Fall 2023 season is already upon us. Week 1 brought us some fantastic games and from what it sounds like, it went pretty smoothly. The weather, I’m told, was absolutely perfect. The bar (complete with specials!) was the place to be as TSLers congregated after not seeing each other for the summer months.
Historically, Week 1 of the TSL season doesn’t tell us much. New teams that look in over their heads after a game or two have blossomed into title contenders. Veteran teams that look poised to win a championship out of the gate fall apart over the course of a season. So, if you had a bad Week 1, don’t think you’re in for a long season. And if you had a great Week 1, and many teams did, don’t be cocky enough to assume you’re going to roll all season. That isn’t to say some teams won’t go the distance and be great (or terrible) all season. The fun of the first couple of weeks is really trying to figure out which teams showed their true colors from the start.
GOOD NOT BAD
BAD NOT GOOD
NOT GOOD NOT BAD
And I think that covers the ins and outs of where the TSL stands after 1 week of action. So what will Week 2 bring us? Well, it's the start of Breakfast Club, and we have 24 games of the best Social Co-Ed Football you can play coming up. Who’s going to win? Let me tell you.
D1:
Last Week’s Games:
Eyes Downtown 50, Frodo Swaggins 23
Eyes Downtown 34, Losing Streak 24
Losing Streak 58, Frodo Swaggins 29
Not much to talk about with only 3 games played, but we learned that Eyes Downtown is going to be a problem for D1. Losing Streak went 1-1 here, and Frodo Swaggins started the season 0-2 but looked plucky at times.
This Week’s Games:
Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) - Frodo will try to avoid going 0-3 on the season as they take on the Sticky Bandits in their opening game of the season. Sticky has kind of been the forgotten team so far, mostly because they were already really good, but didn’t add anyone to the roster either. It’ll be interesting to see how they stack up against the rest of the division. Did their championship window close already? Frodo is a good test to start the year for them. STICKY BANDITS BY 13
Eyes Downtown vs Losing Streak (+6) - Let’s just have these two play every week. Losing Streak gets a chance to avenge last week’s 10 point loss to ED. You know that they learned from their mistakes and are coming in focused to show that they’re on the same level. But a second straight loss to Eyes Downtown might already put some doubt in LS’s heads. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 2
Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins (+14) - Another rematch from last week, we’ll see if Frodo learned anything from the previous matchup. They’ll keep it closer than the last time, and that’s progress. LOSING STREAK BY 17
D2:
Last Week’s Games:
Scared Hitless 26, THREAD 25
Scared Hitless 36, Practice Squad 22
The Untouchaballs 39, Cle-Avengers Assemble 22
Can’t Touch This 48, Cle-Avengers Assemble 33
The Untouchaballs 58, Mavericks 50
The most fun division was a riot this week. Scared Hitless made their return to D2 as THREAD made their return to the TSL and we had a great matchup that had SH sneak out a 1 point win. SH would then go on to beat Practice Squad for a good first week. The Untouchaballs looked fantastic dominating Cle-Ass, and then won a shootout with the Mavericks who have D2 title aspirations. Can’t Touch This looks right at home in D2, spanking Cle-Ass and getting that first D2 victory under their belts.
This Week’s Games:
THREAD vs Freeballers (+3) - THREAD looks to get into the win column after a close loss last week. At the very least, they showed D2 was the right spot for them, and they can still play with these “young” kids. The Freeballers decided QB was their biggest issue so they went out and sign…Hogan. There’s no way Hogan throws a bad pass and the entire team screams at each other. Right? RIGHT? THREAD BY 10
Can’t Touch This vs Practice Squad (+7) - A battle of the last two D3 champions, CTT and PS have had some pretty good games in the past. Can’t Touch This has been rolling, while Practice Squad has been a little stuck in the mud in D2 so far. This one is going to be a shootout, I can tell. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 8
Mavericks vs Can’t Touch This (+6) - CTT’s first real test in D2 comes against the Mavericks, who are LOADED with talent. Team Cotton Candy (I’ve been told they’re light blue and pink, feel free to send photos to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ) just threw up 50 points in a loss last week. They’re going to score, and they’re going to have fun doing it. CTT will absolutely keep up with them, but I don’t think they pull it out. MAVERICKS BY 6, BET THE OVER OF 95.5.
D3:
Last Week’s Games:
Bullet Club 30, Vaspian 8
Bullet Club 32, The Family 18
Keller Whales 28, Let’s Get Reccked 27
Not too much to report on this week. Bullet Club jumps to the top of the standings with a win over Vaspian (with B at QB) and The Family (with Non-Award Winning Tommy Hughes at QB). The Keller Whales (with the youngest Keller at QB, not the oldest) snuck out a win over LGR.
This Week’s Games:
Let’s Get Reccked vs Vaspian (+10) - LGR should get the whole team back together this week (they lost last week with a backup QB) and they take on a Vaspian team that should’ve fared better in Week 1 if it weren’t for some untimely drops I’m told. Should be a close one. LETS GET RECCKED BY 3
Keller Whales vs Wanderers (EVEN) - It’ll be interesting to see how the Kellers and their new QB do against the Wanderers and their very, very not new QB. This is a matchup of two of the better teams in D3, and like every other Wanderers game I expect it to go down to the wire. WANDERERS BY 2
716 vs The Family (+10) - 716 is back, but they’re a little different. B’s Brother’s Brother, B is the QB for 716, which completely changes their dynamic from the last time we saw this team play. B will be more methodical in his approach as opposed to the “Derek Pew is super strong so he’s going to throw it 100 yards” play. The Family had a rough first game last week, but with a brand new squad that has a lot of people on the roster, there’s always going to be kinks to work out. THE FAMILY BY 7.
Wanderers vs The Malones (+10) - The Malones are a brand new team that I’m looking forward to hearing about. The Wanderers are not a brand new team that I’m looking forward to hearing about. If The Malones are a new team, getting the Wanderers for your first game is never the best introduction into the TSL. WANDERERS BY 16
D4:
Last Week’s Games:
Cunning Stunts 44, Puckett All-Stars 40
The Stunts and Puckett played a really close game that was probably a great time for everyone. This is all that happened in D4. Who makes this schedule? Are we SURE it isn’t still “Topper after 7 bottles of wine”?
This Week’s Games:
Buffalo Vice vs Passing While Intoxicated (+6) - A lovely matchup between two of the many blue teams in D4. Neither team played last weekend, but I was told both were in the wine tournament so they’ve knocked off some rust. Vice is going to chuck the ball as deep as possible every time with Andy Clark, and when you back off, Caitlyn Mason is going to take a 3 yard dump off and turn it into a long gain. PWI stays consistent with Buddy Lee (probably hungover since this game is at 10am) throwing the ball all over the field in the Colorado Mike offense. The PWI girls get better every single week. This should be a good one. BUFFALO VICE BY 7
Buffalo Vice vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - These teams have played a ton of great games over the years and I don’t expect this one to be any different. Look out for a high scoring affair. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8
Cunning Stunts vs Passing While Intoxicated (+3) - Apparently everyone is just going to play each other this week. PWI will hold their own, but they’re going to lose out to the gender scores. Reminder to the PWI Guys: Step. Out. At. The. 1. Don’t. Score. (Unless it's 6th down). CUNNING STUNTS BY 3.
Puckett All-Stars vs Father Baker (+6) - A new gender team! Hooray! They get Puckett who is no stranger to playing against gender teams (such is life in D4), and they have the girls to keep pace for sure. New gender teams tend to struggle, but Father Baker has a roster full of ladies that have played on gender teams before, and they’re good ones: Maddie Norton (Lenny’s Ladies), Casey Lawler (Matty’s Angels), Amber Hay (Breast Friends), Robin Makula (Lenny’s/Angels), Emily Belfield (Bi-Polar Express), Jaimie Warren (Lenny’s Ladies), Molly Santo (Angels/Stunts/Victorious Secret I think), Jessie Kieta (Lenny’s Ladies), and there may even be more. The point is, they’re experienced and now they have Dave Baker’s mind with them. Don’t expect them to be slouches or to have the “learning curve” most gender teams have. But there’s going to be a little one. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 10
Travis Henry’s Kids vs Father Baker (+7) - THK gets their first game of the season here and they get the brand new gender team. Fun! THK has been *this* close to really breaking out in D4, and they finally got the one thing they needed in the offseason: a pretty good female. Lindsey West is going to be a big help to this offense. With that said, Langley is going to ignore his new toy for his tried and true. I can’t imagine the girls stopping Pistol Pete on bombs. He should really be playing in a higher division. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 10
D5:
Last Week’s Games:
BAADies 44, Not So Sticky 30
Creekers 28, Not So Sticky 8
Come From Behind 20, Cobblestone 12
GUCCI 44, BAADies 16
GUCCI 27, Creekers 18
The BAADies opened the season with a big win against Not So Sticky before dropping a game later on to GUCCI. The Creekers would get their first win ever over NSS, before also dropping a game later on to GUCCI, who starts 2-0. Come From Behind only put up 20 points, but it was enough to sneak by Cobblestone.
This Week’s Games:
GUCCI vs Goatsack! (+9) - GUCCI is humming along already and they get a Goatsack team that hasn’t played a game yet this season. Goatsack had a bag of mixed results in their first season, but they’re arguably one of the most fun teams to play against. GUCCI BY 17
Goatsack! vs Not So Sticky (EVEN) - Speaking of fun teams to play against, here’s NSS! Not So Sticky didn’t have the best of times last week, losing a pair of games to start the year. After losing to the Creekers, how low can NSS go? GOATSACK! BY 12
BAADies vs Cobblestone (+10) - Oh boy. Garrett vs Darryl Carr QB Superstar. The master vs the pupil. There’s a lot of fun to be had in this one as Darryl looks to carve up the BAADies defense like a Thanksgiving turkey. Just because he looks to do it doesn’t mean he will. BAADies by 7.
Come From Behind vs BAADies (+8) - The BAADies get another league legend QB in Paul LoVullo, except he can throw absolute rockets. I expect the CFB offense AND defense to do pretty well against the BAADies here. The girls will have trouble covering the young, fast, tall CFB receivers. COME FROM BEHIND BY 17
Cobblestone vs Creekers (+6) - The Creekers have found their place in the TSL and now they’re looking for more wins. Cobblestone looks to have the band back together (at least the Carr family anyway) which means the Creekers will have their hands full against some TSL vets. COBBLESTONE BY 8
D6:
Last Week’s Games:
Sausage McMuffins 31, Just Get Open 0
Balls Deep 35, Two Tuddies 12
Mighty Drunks 40, Just Get Open 32
Blitzkrieg 28, Sausage McMuffins 24
Mighty Drunks 52, Pit Harade 6
Blitzkrieg 42, Pit Harade 37
D6 is already shaping up to be a barnburner of a division up at the top. The McMuffins kicked things off with a 31-0 drubbing of the brand new Just Get Open, before losing a 4 point game to Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg would then sneak out another win over Pit Harade, who had just gotten stomped by the Mighty Drunks, who had just beaten Just Get Open. And then you have Balls Deep who absolutely slapped the Tud Buds. TSL football is better when you have no idea what’s going on. And this is it.
This Week’s Games:
Mighty Drunks vs Just Get Open (+8) - Just Get Open had a harsh welcome into the league by getting shut out asap. But they got it together quickly, battling the Drunks hard last week before losing 40-32. As time goes on, I think they’ll be the team that’s JUST on the outside of the “top” D6 teams, but will be the team nobody wants to play in the playoffs. You know, like the Mighty Drunks were last season. Everything went right for the Drunks last week, and I expect it to continue. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 8
Sausage McMuffins vs Balls Deep (+3) - It’s going to be fun to find out if Balls Deep’s win last week was a complete fluke or if they’re for real. Taking out the McMuffins would put them in the D6 title conversation already. The McMuffins had an easy start, taking advantage of a new team, but then they had a “real” game, and it came down to the wire against Blitzkrieg. I expect this one to be close, and it's a prove it game for Balls Deep. BALLS DEEP BY 7
Just Get Open vs Back That Pass Up (+7) - Back That Pass Up had a season to forget last year, and to make matters worse, they lost their QB from last season (Jeff May) and arguably their best girl (Tammy Buczek). I don’t know who’s throwing for them, but they’re back and they’re gonna be focused on getting that first win. JGO seemed to get on track last week, and I think this is where it comes together for them. JUST GET OPEN BY 10
Balls Deep vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - Balls Deep could be looking at 3-0 and the top of the division here. BTPU still has to show me something. Hopefully they will! BALLS DEEP BY 14
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:
-GF OUT