WEEK 4 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

• Print
• Email

Details

Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 08 September 2023 15:03

Published: Friday, 08 September 2023 15:03

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 445

Ladies and Gentlemen and whatever Joey Batts is of the TSL Universe, the TSL Fall 2023 season is already sitting at Week 4 of the season. How we’ve reached the halfway point of the season in what truly feels like “a blink of an eye” boggles the mind. It’s at this point we should really be starting to see the trends developing and what teams are the frontrunners in the Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. 

But this season, for whatever reason, we don’t know anything yet. Not that we ever really do, of course, since the playoffs routinely have the top seeds upset, etc. The schedule so far this season has brought us its share of oddities. For example, we have teams like BAADies (6 games played), Frodo (5), Losing Streak (5), GUCCI (5) and Balls Deep (5) while we have Freeballers who’ve only played ONE game so far this season and more than half of D4 has only played 2 games so far. 

It’s hard to get a handle on things when some teams just don’t have the same amount of data as others. Sure, the Legends LOOKED really good in their first two games with Sean playing QB, but what happens when they downgrade back to Joey? Yeah, PWI is 0-2 and at the bottom of D4, but they’ve apparently only played their games so far this season without Buddy at QB and others missing as well. 

It’s my job to separate what we DO know from what we DON’T, so let’s go division by division on this one. 

D1:

Last Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits 37, Losing Streak 18

Legends 48, Eyes Downtown 43

Legends 52, Frodo Swaggins 40

Sticky takes out Losing Streak to move to 2-0, but the bigger story is that the Legends finally get on the field and immediately squash out any idea that they aren’t the favorites in the best Social Co-Ed Football Division in the world. They won both games with their backup QB. 

What We DO Know:

• The Legends run the yard. All of the Eyes Downtown publicity was nice, but they couldn’t win when it counted. 

• Frodo is just simply overmatched, and might be looking at D2 in the Spring. They’ll be in the 4-5 matchup for sure. While they look to be playing Losing Streak, who now stand at 2-3, that isn't guaranteed. 

• The #1 seed isn’t going to matter. While getting to play the winner of the 4 vs 5 matchup in the playoffs is nice, there won’t be much of a difference between the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th seeds. 

What We DON’T KNOW:

• Can the Sticky Bandits hang? They’re 2-0, but they’ve only played Frodo and Losing Streak that was underpowered. It’s almost like they made the schedule just right for themselves. However, they weren’t a part of the “Grab all of the TEAM players” sweepstakes like Eyes Downtown and Legends were, which MIGHT put them behind. 

This Week’s Games: 

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+6) - I guess we’ll find out the answer right away. Sticky is getting its first real challenge of the season (hopefully) against the new look Eyes Downtown. To add to it, they just lost to the Legends, and will be looking to bounce back. I’m probably underrating Sticky right now, but…EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - From what I was emailed, these two teams weren’t exactly at full strength last week. SO WE’RE DOING IT AGAIN. Eyes Downtown could pull off a huge 2-0 week, assert their dominance, and sit at the top of the D1 standings at 5-1 overall. But they won’t. Until someone actually beats the Legends at this point, it’s foolish for me to pick against them. LEGENDS BY 7

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

THREAD 47, The Untouchaballs 41

Mavericks 47, THREAD 20

Can’t Touch This 47, The Untouchaballs 41

If you needed to win in D2 last week, the goal was simple: Score 47 points. THREAD took down the Untouchaballs before losing to the Mavericks, moving them to 2-2. The Untouchaballs went to 0-2 on the day losing to the hottest team in the TSL, Can’t Touch This, who have really made D2 their own. 

What we DO know: 

• Can’t Touch This is FOR REAL FOR REAL. 4-0 record, wins against Untouchaballs and Mavericks. The sky's the limit for this team. They’ll have an even bigger test the next two weeks as they have a home and home series against Scared Hitless. Anyone who was concerned about their ladies can go eat paste. 

• The Mavericks won’t stay in 5th place for long. They’re 1-2, and yet they have more points for than against. They can SCORE. The issue has always been defense, and last week showed that they’re improving in that area. They’re too good of a team and much, much too fun to not be near the top soon enough. 

• Practice Squad continues to be overmatched in D2. They need another hot free agent signing or something. 

What we DON'T know: 

• Is Cle-avengers Assemble going to get it together? They’re not the same team that won D2 last season, and after a rough Week 1 start, we haven’t seen them since. Unless Travis retired from QB after his performance in Week 1, and the team folded, which would make sense. 

• What are the Freeballers going to be? They’ve played one game so far this season, and with Hogan at QB now, who knows what’s going to happen? Other than meltdowns. Hogan is kind of a perfect fit for this team. 

This Week’s Games:

Mavericks vs THREAD (+8) - We get a nice little rematch from last week which saw the Mavericks win by 27. This matchup is fun because both teams need this win. THREAD needs it to avenge last week’s loss and show it was a fluke. The Mavericks need it because two straight wins over a good team is promising and 2-2 looks a lot better than 1-3. This isn’t a 1-3 team. MAVERICKS BY 7

Scared Hitless vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+7) - Two teams we haven’t seen in weeks return to the fields to face off against each other. Cle-Ass, in their defense, are 0-2 because they ran into Untouchaballs and CTT in Week 1. Now they get arguably the OTHER Top 3 team in Scared Hitless. SH got to 2-0 after slipping by THREAD and beating Practice Squad. It's pretty easy to see why the records are what they are here. This should be a good matchup. CLE-AVENGERS ASSEMBLE BY 8

Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless (+7) - A pretty big matchup this week, as the two remaining undefeated teams in D2 (Yes, I’m aware SH could lose 5 minutes before this game begins) take each other on. CTT has been on a heater, flying out of the gate in D2. Everything that hadn’t clicked for them in the past sure is now. It’s been great to see each week when Jeff sends me the results. Scared Hitless announced themselves as D2 contenders already, but a big win here would cement that. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 6

Freeballers vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - These teams have had some great games in the past, including PS’ playoff win over the Freeballers last session. Usually, I don’t know what to say about teams that are brand new. But this is a case where I don’t know what to say about two long running teams. Who are they? Both teams have been so up and down in recent seasons that it’s hard to get a read on either. But I just read a stat (in the QB Power Rankings article, up now!) that B hasn’t won a regular season game at QB (for his team) since October of last year. We’re almost at a full calendar year. That ends this week, no way is he going to let that keep happening. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 8

Mavericks vs Freeballers (+8) - The George Lombardo bowl kicks off as his current team takes on his former team. And unfortunately for Freeballers, his new team is just a little bit better. MAVERICKS BY 12

The Untouchaballs vs Practice Squad (+10) - Jeremy Burr is having a roller coaster season. He looked, well, untouchable to start the season, but then proceeded to be juuuust not good enough in back to back 47-41 losses last week. The issue for UT is never going to be their offense, but their defense is going to need some work if they look to get back to the top of the mountain. This is a good team to start working out the kinks against. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

Bullet Club 42, 716 39

Vaspian 36, The Family 32

Let’s Get Reccked 36, 716 21

The Family 68, The Malones 46

Keller Whales 44, The Malones 34

Bullet Club stays on top of the standings, moving to 3-0 (with three different QBs) after a win over the new look 716. Vaspian quiets doubters (me) about their offensive prowess, putting up 36 points in a win over The Family. LGR finally got the whole gang together and walked to a victory over 716. The Malones put up 80 points in two games, yet still went 0-2 as they allowed 112 points in losses to The Family and Keller Whales. 

What we DO know:

• Nobody is going to be surprised at whoever wins D3. Once again, it seems to be the most competitive division top to bottom. 

• Any concerns about putting the new teams (The Family and The Malones) in D3 too quickly have been erased. The Family seemingly scores at will, and even though The Malones haven’t won a game yet, they average just over 37 points a game. The wins will come. 

What we DON'T know: 

• Is 716 any good? I’m not sure if they’re just shaking off rust and learning how to click, or if they might be overmatched here. 

• Will The Family learn how to play defense? Once they figure that part out (they allow 38 points per game) they’ll be one hell of a contender. 

• Is this Vaspian’s year in D3? They’re playing pretty good football after an early loss, and things seem to be clicking. Will it continue? 

This Week’s Games:

Bullet Club vs The Malones (+7) - On paper, 3-0 Bullet Club vs 0-3 The Malones seems like a Bullet Club victory. But, and I repeat, The Malones can SCORE. They’ve gotten at least 33 points in every game so far this season. The other side to that is they’re facing a Bullet Club defense that’s only allowing 21.6 points a game this season. BC is an older team, but that just means they’re smart. I don’t know if we’ll finally see Jeff Easton this week or not, but if we do, the offense will just get better. BULLET CLUB BY 10

Keller Whales vs The Family (+7) - Keller Whales will continue to just be that team that wins games, and has fun. With Damien at QB there’s going to be some growing pains, and with how The Family scores, it’ll be interesting to see if he can keep up. The Family has a speed advantage for sure, and they’re going to use it. They’re heating up, and this will be a signature win for this young team. THE FAMILY BY 12

Wanderers vs 716 (+10) - The Wanderers are going to take this down to the last drive, as always. I might say that every week, but I’ll be right 90% of the time. Nobody controls the flow of a game better than Frank, which happens with 5,243 career games under your belt. This will be one hell of a test for 716, and if they fail this one badly, maybe they’ll have to think about D4. WANDERERS BY 5 WITH 30 SECONDS LEFT. 

Wanderers vs Let’s Get Reccked (+3) - Every game for LGR, even when they were in D5, has been the question of “Which LGR is going to show up?”. A lot of times it’s the fun loving, lets just have a lot of fun team that’s missing people. But occasionally, they take it seriously and really do some work on the field. Getting Alex back at QB was a huge boon for them last week, and hopefully these two teams are at full strength this week. It should be a bit of a fun chess match. WANDERERS BY 3 WITH 7 SECONDS LEFT

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice 53, TMA 42

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 42, TMA 22

Cunning Stunts 27, ILF 26

Puckett All-Stars 40, Travis Henry’s Kids 20

The Boccio-Bernal era for TMA began with a loud thud, as TMA dropped both games to start off 0-2. ILF finally got into action for the TSL this week, winning once against TMA and then proceeding to drop a one point heartbreaker to the Stunts. Puckett manhandled THK in a 20 point win. 

Things we DO know:

• The Cunning Stunts are very, very good, and will be incredibly difficult to stop. Until the playoffs anyway. 

Things we DON'T know:

• Everything else. 5 teams in D4 have only played 2 games so far. Three of those teams: TMA, PWI, and Father Baker are 0-2, and there’s NO WAY they’ll go the entire season winless. That means shake ups all over the place. 

This Week’s Games:

Passing While Intoxicated vs TMA (EVEN) - See? Someone has to win right here. I guess they could tie, but I doubt it. PWI has been one of the most consistent teams the last few seasons, and you have to assume they’ll be getting back on that path for the rest of the season. TMA might not have won last week, but they still put up 42 points against Buffalo Vice. ILF may have written the book on how to beat them last week though, throwing away from Boccio’s side of the field. We’ll see if teams follow suit. PWI BY 8

Buffalo Vice vs Puckett All-Stars (EVEN) - Shootout alert? These two teams can really put up some points, so it’ll be interesting to see how much defense is actually played in this one. Everyone knows Buffalo Vice is going to throw the ball as far as possible as much as possible. And when it stops working, good luck keeping up with the girls underneath. Puckett DOES have the horses to keep up though, which makes this a fun matchup. And in the end, Puckett reigns supreme. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 3

Cunning Stunts vs TMA (+10) - Not the best backend of a double header for TMA this week as they get the Cunning Stunts who have been plowing through the league. While the Stunts were slowed down a little bit last weekend, I can’t imagine that happening here. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

ILF vs Father Baker (+7) - ILF had an impressive first week, and ever since they found their QB in the middle of last season, things have been going pretty well for them. They just lost by one point to the Stunts, the longest tenured gender franchise the TSL has had. Now they get the newest version of that in Father Baker, a team that is chock full of talent, but still needs to work on the kinks everywhere. ILF BY 13

Cunning Stunts vs Father Baker (+10) - LETS GO. There is NOTHING better than a gender team battle, as we get the first ever meeting between the Stunts and Father Baker. I do believe FB has the horses to run with the Stunts, and the difference here will be in the QBs. Dave Baker is a brilliant football mind, but he still lacks a little experience in this type of game. Going up against Joey Batts, who has been humming along all year, puts him at a disadvantage. These two teams play each other again in Week 7, and I expect a much better game then when Father Baker has more experience overall. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

BAADies 44, Goatsack! 44 (Tie)

Spinelli’s Plumbing 26, Not So Sticky 20

BAADies 57, Spinelli’s Plumbing 52

Goatsack! 54, Not So Sticky 24

Spinelli’s Plumbing 45, GUCCI 14

Creekers 44, Come From Behind 32

Come From Behind 20, GUCCI 17

D5 had a huge slate of games there were all over the place last week. The BAADies went 1-0-1 as they Tied Goatsack!, and then won a shootout with Spinelli’s. Spinelli’s had a triple header and went 2-1, as they beat NSS and easily dispatched of a Kelly Kane-less GUCCI. NSS would drop to 0-2 on the day losing to the also 1-0-1 last week Goatsack!, who put up 98 points in two games. GUCCI would go on to lose to Come From Behind by only 3 points, right after CFB dropped a game to the Creekers. 

What we DO know:

• This isn’t the D5 we’ve been used to as of late. D5 for a couple of seasons has been pretty “top heavy” with the haves and the have nots. Not anymore. D5 currently boasts FIVE of the top ten teams in the Super Secret Topper Rankings. The competition is very fierce between the BAADies, GUCCI, Creekers, Come From Behind, and Goatsack!. And we still have Spinelli’s right there too. 

• Not So Sticky and Cobblestone are in trouble. NSS’ defense isn’t nearly as good as it’s been in the past, and with an offense that can only get them into the 20s every game (they currently average 17.6 ppg), this season might look to be a wash. Cobblestone hasn’t yet shown they can hang with the others as well.

• These top 6 teams can SCORE.  Every team averages at least 30 points, with Spinelli’s unsurprisingly, averages 41 points already. Expect LOTS of wild west shootouts here. 

• The Top 2 seeds (as of now) look to be advantageous for these teams to clinch, so the regular season games are going to matter from here on out. The difference right now between the 2 seed and the 3 seed is playing an 0-3 Cobblestone or the 2-1 Spinelli’s team with the insane offense in the first round. 

What we DON'T know:

• If the BAADies don’t figure out defense soon, they’re going to be in trouble. Or Garrett has to be perfect. 

• As the division with the most games played (34 of 72, nearly 50%) we have the biggest sample size here, so there’s not a lot we don’t really know. 

This Week’s Games:

Goatsack! vs Cobblestone (+9) - Goatsack! had a very nice week last week, coming back from 30 points down to salvage a tie with the BAADies before beating NSS by 30. After a rough-ish season in the Spring, where they came on later in the season, they’ve seemed to keep the good times rolling, finding themselves at 2-1-1 this year. However two of those wins were against NSS, so we’ll need to see how they fare against the “higher ups” in the division. Cobblestone is 0-3, but they’ve had a tough schedule so far. It does get easier the rest of the way. If they’re going to throw their name in the hat with the others, they need to take this game. Darryl magic is upon us. COBBLESTONE BY 3

Creekers vs Goatsack!(+6) - The Creekers continue to roll in D5, getting a big win over Come From Behind last week. Things are just clicking for this team now, and a big part of that has been their defense, which is tops in D5, only allowing about 20 points per game. They’ll continue that trend here and slow the Goatsack Attack. CREEKERS BY 8

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - The rematch from last week, where CFB took a 3 point win over GUCCI, who was without their star QB. Before the season, this would’ve been viewed as a championship preview, but with so much talent in D5 now, these teams are just fighting to get one of the Top 2 seeds. Getting Kelly back this week should be the difference. GUCCI BY 4

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Balls Deep 26, Blitzkrieg 7

Pit Harade 34, Balls Deep 32

Back That Pass Up 21, Two Tuddies 18

Two Tuddies 27, Mighty Drunks 14

Balls Deep beat Blitzkrieg handily before losing to Pit Harade. Back That Pass Up gets their first win ever, and they did it by beating the Two Tuddies, which is even more impressive. The Tuddies then go on to get their first win of the season, beating the Mighty Drunks. D6 doesn’t make any sense. 

What we DO know:

• The Sausage McMuffins still have great jerseys.

• Nothing else. I’m only half kidding, but D6 is a bit of a mess. The current 8 seed, Pit Harade, just beat the current 1 seed in Balls Deep. The Two Tuddies are 1-2, with losses to Balls Deep and BTPU, but they beat the Drunks? Just Get Open looked awful one week and then were juggernauts the next. The McMuffins beat Balls Deep and Just Get Open, but proceeded to lose to Blitzkrieg, who won a close one against Pit Harade and then lost badly to Balls Deep. The point is, like Jon Snow, we know nothing. 

What we DON'T know: 

• What’s wrong with the Two Tuddies? Worst offense in the division? Really? 

• Are the Mighty Drunks good? They beat a shorthanded JGO and a Pit Harade team that had everything go wrong for them Week 1, but proceeded to lose to JGO at full strength and then the Tuddies. 

• Like I said before, everything else. 

This Week’s Games:

Just Get Open vs Two Tuddies (+7) - The Tuddies aren’t favored, and that feels weird to see. Something had to be going on in these first two games. This game should be a good one. We’ll get to see if “full strength” Just Get Open is going to be a big problem for D6. The Tuddies need this one to get the season back on track. It’s not exactly “over” for them if they’re 1-3, but mentally the win is going to help a rough start to this season. JUST GET OPEN BY 10

Back That Pass Up vs Pit Harade (EVEN) - The bottom two teams from last year’s season seem to be showing signs of improvement. BTPU got that first win, and whatever coach Alex is doing is working. Pit Harade has gotten it together after a 52-6 drubbing by the Drunks Week 1. A last minute loss to Blitzkrieg and a win over Balls Deep followed. And they dusted off old The Bi-Polar Express QB Gordon to lead the team. Not to mention they have a D1 caliber female in Ray. Both of these teams look to be on the upswing. PIT HARADE BY 2

Sausage McMuffins vs Mighty Drunks (+3) - The McMuffins defense has been disgusting. 13.3 points allowed per game, and they haven’t played slouches either: JGO, Fall Blitzkrieg, and Balls Deep. They’ve played arguably the hardest D6 schedule so far, and it doesn’t get easier with the Drunks, who as I just said are confusing. They were world beaters in Week 1, but have since fallen to the Tuddies (which shouldn’t be a shame, but they aren’t 100% right now), and got clobbered by JGO. Give me the team that knows who they are right now. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

• Who really needs a convincing win right now? Good question. For me, it’s Come From Behind. They’ve been the gold standard in D5 for a while now, but with the division itself getting better, they just feel “off”. The Creekers had no problem with them, and GUCCI, without Kelly, nearly beat them. They’re 3-1, but there’s a chance if they don’t fix what ails them, they could be 3-3 in two weeks after games with GUCCI and Spinelli’s. 

• Why are people going extra crazy with flipping out on the refs lately? It’s the most disturbing thing I’ve been hearing from people in the league. And I don’t know what it is. I know, people are competitive and they expect everything to be perfect. It never has been, and it never will be. Just accept that and act like an adult when you disagree with a call. Or maybe Mercury is in retrograde so everyone is extra nuts? That’s probably it. 

• What’s going on with Dog Day? Ah yes, the TSL has teamed up with The Buffalo Animal Shelter for “Tails on the Turf” this weekend. From my understanding, the BAS will be at the fields with adoptable dogs from 1-4. Yes, this means at least 3 TSLers will have too many High Noons and adopt a dog. Come say hello, and see what they have to offer. And if you have ANYTHING you’d like to donate to the shelter, bring it along! Have any “non-football” friends that want to come by and see the pups? Tell them to come! 

• What’s the most surprising thing this season so far? I think how easily Can’t Touch This has moved up in D2. They’re playing great. But overall, I think the most surprising thing so far is that all of the divisions seem “correct”. At the very least, half of the divisions seem like any of the teams in there could win the whole thing and you wouldn’t be surprised. No division has any teams that are too good for it (You could only argue the Stunts in D4, but they’ve been there forever) OR too bad for it (even with two 0-5 teams, Frodo is playing is a stacked D1 after dominating D2 and NSS is just having an off season so far after dominating in D6. I’m not going to say they aren’t where they should be). The TSL is better overall when more teams are in the mix, and this season sure has got a lot of them. 

• What’s the least surprising thing so far? The least surprising thing has to be that the Stunts are playing so well. They’ve done this before where they have a great start to the season, and end up 8-1 or 7-2. Or it’s that Spinelli’s finally came back to the TSL and they picked up right where they left off, scoring at will. Not a surprise. They can score with the best of them. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• BDD 50, Blachuranus 20

• Dirty Dozen 30, Steph Infection 28

• The Angry Buffalo will have the following specials this week: There will be a Pink Lemonade (with Pink Whitney) and Coors Light Bucket Special for $15. 

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Mavericks vs Thread

• 11:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends

• 12:00 - Freeballers vs Practice Squad

• 1:00 - Come From Behind vs GUCCI

• 2:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Father Baker

• 3:00 - Let’s Get Reccked vs Wanderers

• According to my Weather Channel app, you’re looking at 74 degrees, but it’ll be cloudy. Might get a stray rain drop or two. Pretty good fall football weather still. 

• Again, if you’re looking for a new pup, or you know someone that’s thinking about it, have them stop out to the fields to find a new best friend! 

• I’ve been told the 24 team TSL Fantasy Football League has drafted teams and its 5th season is a go. The only information I was given? Topper decided to Auto-Draft his team on purpose, and it proceeded to pick Ja’Marr Chase - Joe Mixon - Tee Higgins as his first three picks. Topper is a confirmed Bengals fan. 

• Three teams on the upswing: The Family, Back That Pass Up, ILF

• Three teams on the downswing: Practice Squad, Mighty Drunks, Come From Behind

• Early rumors suggest that the TSL Banquet is going to be on Friday, December 8th. Nothing is confirmed but I’ve been told that’s the target date. Prepare accordingly. 

• This league has been around for so long, and the family atmosphere that’s been created by Topper, Lenny, and Rameer has stuck around. Sometimes I think that the reason we get people yelling at the refs/management, trying to skirt around the rules, playing dumb about sublist rules, etc is because we sometimes forget that it’s a privilege, not a right, to play in the World’s Greatest Social Co-Ed Touch Football League. Do yourselves a favor and don’t take it for granted. As someone who doesn’t get to play weekly anymore, losing the league can be rough. Don’t get yourself kicked out for something stupid. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 2 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

• Print
• Email

Details

Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 25 August 2023 15:25

Published: Friday, 25 August 2023 15:25

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 479

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, Week 2 of the TSL Fall 2023 season is already upon us. Week 1 brought us some fantastic games and from what it sounds like, it went pretty smoothly. The weather, I’m told, was absolutely perfect. The bar (complete with specials!) was the place to be as TSLers congregated after not seeing each other for the summer months. 

Historically, Week 1 of the TSL season doesn’t tell us much. New teams that look in over their heads after a game or two have blossomed into title contenders. Veteran teams that look poised to win a championship out of the gate fall apart over the course of a season. So, if you had a bad Week 1, don’t think you’re in for a long season. And if you had a great Week 1, and many teams did, don’t be cocky enough to assume you’re going to roll all season. That isn’t to say some teams won’t go the distance and be great (or terrible) all season. The fun of the first couple of weeks is really trying to figure out which teams showed their true colors from the start. 

GOOD NOT BAD

• Eyes Downtown went 2-0, making my D1 title prediction look excellent. Wins over Frodo and Losing Streak were a great start to the season for a team with a bunch of new pieces. Percentage they keep this up: 80%

• The Untouchaballs are 2-0 to start the season. They stomped through the regular season before blowing it in the playoffs, and now they seem to be on a “revenge tour” of sorts. Percentage they keep this up: 100%

• Scared Hitless dropped to D2, and won as many games in their first week back than they did in any D1 season they played in, I think. They’re where they belong. Percentage they keep this up: 95%

• Bullet Club came out of the gates hot to go 2-0 against Vaspian and The Family. BC is usually in the running for the #1 seed in D3 before they blow it in the playoffs. Percentage they keep this up: 72%

• GUCCI is 2-0 and they dispatched the BAADies and the Creekers. They’re picking up where they left off last season where they won the D5 regular season title. Percentage they keep this up: 81%

• The Mighty Drunks are 2-0, and still riding the wave they had from last season. They’ll be contenders in D6 for sure, but I need to see a little more out of them. Percentage they keep this up: 62%

• Fall Blitzkrieg is 2-0, with close wins over Sausage McMuffins (4 points) and Pit Harade (5 points). I’d like to say they’ll be there at the end, but they always like to play with my emotions when I believe in them. Percentage they keep this up: 50%. Always a crap shoot. 

BAD NOT GOOD

• Frodo Swaggins is 0-2, but the world isn’t falling on them just yet. Despite fears they’d be completely overmatched, they held their own in losses to Eyes Downtown and Losing Streak. Yes, holding their own means losing by 27 and 29. Eyewitness reports suggest there’s more there for them than they showed. I’d like to believe it. Percentage they keep this up: 70% (which means they’ll sneak in a few wins people didn’t expect them to get by season’s end)

• Cle-Avengers Assemble went 0-2, Travis looked “not great”, and the defense was non-existent. I’m going to go with this as an anomaly. Percentage they keep this up: 31%

• Not So Sticky is 0-2, and they lost to the Creekers along the way. They’re here for fun, I know. Percentage they keep this up: 94% (but they’ll win a playoff game after going 1-8, probably against Come From Behind). 

• Just Get Open went 0-2 to start their existence, but they have some good players on this roster. They got shutout by the McMuffins, before battling the Drunks and only losing by 8. They have potential to get some wins for sure. Percentage they keep this up: 32%

• Pit Harade went 0-2, looked extremely lost in a 52-6 beating by the Drunks, but then played Fall Blitzkrieg tough, losing on a last second TD. No idea what you’re getting from this team. Percentage they keep this up: 50%. 

NOT GOOD NOT BAD

• Can’t Touch This walked into D2 and won by 15. Nice. 

• Creekers got their first win! Nice. 

•  Balls Deep looked really good in a 35-12 win. Nice.

And I think that covers the ins and outs of where the TSL stands after 1 week of action. So what will Week 2 bring us? Well, it's the start of Breakfast Club, and we have 24 games of the best Social Co-Ed Football you can play coming up. Who’s going to win? Let me tell you. 

D1: 

Last Week’s Games:

Eyes Downtown 50, Frodo Swaggins 23

Eyes Downtown 34, Losing Streak 24

Losing Streak 58, Frodo Swaggins 29

Not much to talk about with only 3 games played, but we learned that Eyes Downtown is going to be a problem for D1. Losing Streak went 1-1 here, and Frodo Swaggins started the season 0-2 but looked plucky at times. 

This Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) - Frodo will try to avoid going 0-3 on the season as they take on the Sticky Bandits in their opening game of the season. Sticky has kind of been the forgotten team so far, mostly because they were already really good, but didn’t add anyone to the roster either. It’ll be interesting to see how they stack up against the rest of the division. Did their championship window close already? Frodo is a good test to start the year for them. STICKY BANDITS BY 13

Eyes Downtown vs Losing Streak (+6) - Let’s just have these two play every week. Losing Streak gets a chance to avenge last week’s 10 point loss to ED. You know that they learned from their mistakes and are coming in focused to show that they’re on the same level. But a second straight loss to Eyes Downtown might already put some doubt in LS’s heads. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 2

Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins (+14) - Another rematch from last week, we’ll see if Frodo learned anything from the previous matchup. They’ll keep it closer than the last time, and that’s progress. LOSING STREAK BY 17

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

Scared Hitless 26, THREAD 25

Scared Hitless 36, Practice Squad 22

The Untouchaballs 39, Cle-Avengers Assemble 22

Can’t Touch This 48, Cle-Avengers Assemble 33

The Untouchaballs 58, Mavericks 50

The most fun division was a riot this week. Scared Hitless made their return to D2 as THREAD made their return to the TSL and we had a great matchup that had SH sneak out a 1 point win. SH would then go on to beat Practice Squad for a good first week. The Untouchaballs looked fantastic dominating Cle-Ass, and then won a shootout with the Mavericks who have D2 title aspirations. Can’t Touch This looks right at home in D2, spanking Cle-Ass and getting that first D2 victory under their belts. 

This Week’s Games:

THREAD vs Freeballers (+3) - THREAD looks to get into the win column after a close loss last week. At the very least, they showed D2 was the right spot for them, and they can still play with these “young” kids. The Freeballers decided QB was their biggest issue so they went out and sign…Hogan. There’s no way Hogan throws a bad pass and the entire team screams at each other. Right? RIGHT? THREAD BY 10

Can’t Touch This vs Practice Squad (+7) - A battle of the last two D3 champions, CTT and PS have had some pretty good games in the past. Can’t Touch This has been rolling, while Practice Squad has been a little stuck in the mud in D2 so far. This one is going to be a shootout, I can tell. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 8

Mavericks vs Can’t Touch This (+6) - CTT’s first real test in D2 comes against the Mavericks, who are LOADED with talent. Team Cotton Candy (I’ve been told they’re light blue and pink, feel free to send photos to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ) just threw up 50 points in a loss last week. They’re going to score, and they’re going to have fun doing it. CTT will absolutely keep up with them, but I don’t think they pull it out. MAVERICKS BY 6, BET THE OVER OF 95.5. 

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

Bullet Club 30, Vaspian 8

Bullet Club 32, The Family 18

Keller Whales 28, Let’s Get Reccked 27

Not too much to report on this week. Bullet Club jumps to the top of the standings with a win over Vaspian (with B at QB) and The Family (with Non-Award Winning Tommy Hughes at QB). The Keller Whales (with the youngest Keller at QB, not the oldest) snuck out a win over LGR. 

This Week’s Games:

Let’s Get Reccked vs Vaspian (+10) - LGR should get the whole team back together this week (they lost last week with a backup QB) and they take on a Vaspian team that should’ve fared better in Week 1 if it weren’t for some untimely drops I’m told. Should be a close one. LETS GET RECCKED BY 3

Keller Whales vs Wanderers (EVEN) - It’ll be interesting to see how the Kellers and their new QB do against the Wanderers and their very, very not new QB. This is a matchup of two of the better teams in D3, and like every other Wanderers game I expect it to go down to the wire. WANDERERS BY 2

716 vs The Family (+10) - 716 is back, but they’re a little different. B’s Brother’s Brother, B is the QB for 716, which completely changes their dynamic from the last time we saw this team play. B will be more methodical in his approach as opposed to the “Derek Pew is super strong so he’s going to throw it 100 yards” play. The Family had a rough first game last week, but with a brand new squad that has a lot of people on the roster, there’s always going to be kinks to work out. THE FAMILY BY 7. 

Wanderers vs The Malones (+10) - The Malones are a brand new team that I’m looking forward to hearing about. The Wanderers are not a brand new team that I’m looking forward to hearing about. If The Malones are a new team, getting the Wanderers for your first game is never the best introduction into the TSL. WANDERERS BY 16

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts 44, Puckett All-Stars 40

The Stunts and Puckett played a really close game that was probably a great time for everyone. This is all that happened in D4. Who makes this schedule? Are we SURE it isn’t still “Topper after 7 bottles of wine”? 

This Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice vs Passing While Intoxicated (+6) - A lovely matchup between two of the many blue teams in D4. Neither team played last weekend, but I was told both were in the wine tournament so they’ve knocked off some rust. Vice is going to chuck the ball as deep as possible every time with Andy Clark, and when you back off, Caitlyn Mason is going to take a 3 yard dump off and turn it into a long gain. PWI stays consistent with Buddy Lee (probably hungover since this game is at 10am) throwing the ball all over the field in the Colorado Mike offense. The PWI girls get better every single week. This should be a good one. BUFFALO VICE BY 7

Buffalo Vice vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - These teams have played a ton of great games over the years and I don’t expect this one to be any different. Look out for a high scoring affair. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

Cunning Stunts vs Passing While Intoxicated (+3) - Apparently everyone is just going to play each other this week. PWI will hold their own, but they’re going to lose out to the gender scores. Reminder to the PWI Guys: Step. Out. At. The. 1. Don’t. Score. (Unless it's 6th down). CUNNING STUNTS BY 3. 

Puckett All-Stars vs Father Baker (+6) - A new gender team! Hooray! They get Puckett who is no stranger to playing against gender teams (such is life in D4), and they have the girls to keep pace for sure. New gender teams tend to struggle, but Father Baker has a roster full of ladies that have played on gender teams before, and they’re good ones: Maddie Norton (Lenny’s Ladies), Casey Lawler (Matty’s Angels), Amber Hay (Breast Friends), Robin Makula (Lenny’s/Angels), Emily Belfield (Bi-Polar Express), Jaimie Warren (Lenny’s Ladies), Molly Santo (Angels/Stunts/Victorious Secret I think), Jessie Kieta (Lenny’s Ladies), and there may even be more. The point is, they’re experienced and now they have Dave Baker’s mind with them. Don’t expect them to be slouches or to have the “learning curve” most gender teams have. But there’s going to be a little one. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 10

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Father Baker (+7) - THK gets their first game of the season here and they get the brand new gender team. Fun! THK has been *this* close to really breaking out in D4, and they finally got the one thing they needed in the offseason: a pretty good female. Lindsey West is going to be a big help to this offense. With that said, Langley is going to ignore his new toy for his tried and true. I can’t imagine the girls stopping Pistol Pete on bombs. He should really be playing in a higher division. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 10

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

BAADies 44, Not So Sticky 30

Creekers 28, Not So Sticky 8

Come From Behind 20, Cobblestone 12

GUCCI 44, BAADies 16

GUCCI 27, Creekers 18

The BAADies opened the season with a big win against Not So Sticky before dropping a game later on to GUCCI. The Creekers would get their first win ever over NSS, before also dropping a game later on to GUCCI, who starts 2-0. Come From Behind only put up 20 points, but it was enough to sneak by Cobblestone. 

This Week’s Games:

GUCCI vs Goatsack! (+9) - GUCCI is humming along already and they get a Goatsack team that hasn’t played a game yet this season. Goatsack had a bag of mixed results in their first season, but they’re arguably one of the most fun teams to play against. GUCCI BY 17

Goatsack! vs Not So Sticky (EVEN) - Speaking of fun teams to play against, here’s NSS! Not So Sticky didn’t have the best of times last week, losing a pair of games to start the year. After losing to the Creekers, how low can NSS go? GOATSACK! BY 12

BAADies vs Cobblestone (+10) - Oh boy. Garrett vs Darryl Carr QB Superstar. The master vs the pupil. There’s a lot of fun to be had in this one as Darryl looks to carve up the BAADies defense like a Thanksgiving turkey. Just because he looks to do it doesn’t mean he will. BAADies by 7. 

Come From Behind vs BAADies (+8) - The BAADies get another league legend QB in Paul LoVullo, except he can throw absolute rockets. I expect the CFB offense AND defense to do pretty well against the BAADies here. The girls will have trouble covering the young, fast, tall CFB receivers. COME FROM BEHIND BY 17

Cobblestone vs Creekers (+6) - The Creekers have found their place in the TSL and now they’re looking for more wins. Cobblestone looks to have the band back together (at least the Carr family anyway) which means the Creekers will have their hands full against some TSL vets. COBBLESTONE BY 8

D6: 

Last Week’s Games:

Sausage McMuffins 31, Just Get Open 0

Balls Deep 35, Two Tuddies 12

Mighty Drunks 40, Just Get Open 32

Blitzkrieg 28, Sausage McMuffins 24

Mighty Drunks 52, Pit Harade 6

Blitzkrieg 42, Pit Harade 37

D6 is already shaping up to be a barnburner of a division up at the top. The McMuffins kicked things off with a 31-0 drubbing of the brand new Just Get Open, before losing a 4 point game to Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg would then sneak out another win over Pit Harade, who had just gotten stomped by the Mighty Drunks, who had just beaten Just Get Open. And then you have Balls Deep who absolutely slapped the Tud Buds. TSL football is better when you have no idea what’s going on. And this is it. 

This Week’s Games:

Mighty Drunks vs Just Get Open (+8) - Just Get Open had a harsh welcome into the league by getting shut out asap. But they got it together quickly, battling the Drunks hard last week before losing 40-32. As time goes on, I think they’ll be the team that’s JUST on the outside of the “top” D6 teams, but will be the team nobody wants to play in the playoffs. You know, like the Mighty Drunks were last season. Everything went right for the Drunks last week, and I expect it to continue. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 8

Sausage McMuffins vs Balls Deep (+3) - It’s going to be fun to find out if Balls Deep’s win last week was a complete fluke or if they’re for real. Taking out the McMuffins would put them in the D6 title conversation already. The McMuffins had an easy start, taking advantage of a new team, but then they had a “real” game, and it came down to the wire against Blitzkrieg. I expect this one to be close, and it's a prove it game for Balls Deep. BALLS DEEP BY 7

Just Get Open vs Back That Pass Up (+7) - Back That Pass Up had a season to forget last year, and to make matters worse, they lost their QB from last season (Jeff May) and arguably their best girl (Tammy Buczek). I don’t know who’s throwing for them, but they’re back and they’re gonna be focused on getting that first win. JGO seemed to get on track last week, and I think this is where it comes together for them. JUST GET OPEN BY 10

Balls Deep vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - Balls Deep could be looking at 3-0 and the top of the division here. BTPU still has to show me something. Hopefully they will! BALLS DEEP BY 14

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

• Did you sign your waiver for the season? If you signed a waiver in the spring, you’re covered for the fall session. BUT if you have new players this session, or you’re a new team, remember to sign the waiver here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NqaQgYi1a2Sr-vlV_Nab-G7gIJhM3fE0O_xWzK0s5P0/edit . Don’t make Jeff chase you down. He will. 

• Which team that’s already lost has the best chance to rebound and win the division? The Mavericks in D2. Losing to The Untouchaballs isn’t something to hang your head at, especially when you hang 50 points on them in a 58-50 loss. That team just screams good vibes. 

• Where is The Sentinel? Or the podcast? Are we back to the days where I’m the only person doing anything for this website? I know, the Power Rankings came out, but nobody cares about those guys for the first 4 weeks anyway. Perhaps the whispers that the league is going downhill are correct. 

• Is the bar keeping up with those Bar Specials? Yes! After last week’s offerings, I’ve been told that the bar will have specials on Corona Sunrise in the morning, and Corona-Rita’s in the afternoon. Corona: slowly becoming the unofficial sponsor of the TSL. 

• Do you know how to park a vehicle? The biggest complaint in my inbox this week was that TSLers continue to be “less than smart” with parking decisions. Stop boxing people in. I’ve been told parking can be rough at times, but that doesn’t mean you should block exit rows. No, being late to your game so you’re “in a rush” isn’t an excuse. Do better. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

• Breakfast Club is back and we have some questionable team names this season. We might need to dial it back in the future ladies. Either way, after looking over the rosters I’m predicting BDD (which is Becca/Ashley) to beat The Dirty Dozen (Mackenzie Neary, who didn’t get the memo of naming your team after yourself in some way it seems) in the finals. 

• I’m not sure “Blach-ur-anus” is going to win a game this season. Rough Draft. 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Steph Infection 37, BDD 34

• Dirty Dozen 40, Blachuranus 27

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Passing While Intoxicated

• 11:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Losing Streak Part II

• 12:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Practice Squad

• 1:00 - Keller Whales vs Wanderers 

• 2:00 - Father Baker vs Travis Henry’s Kids

• You’re looking at another perfect weather day in Buffalo for games, according to my Weather Channel app. Enjoy these days because who knows how long they’ll last. If I remember correctly, the end of the Fall season usually ends in wet conditions. 

• I’ve been told The Rose Garden has ALSO added an outside bar jukebox, which if the TSL is anything like it used to be, we’re going to make great use of that. 

• B’s Brother graced you with his presence last week, can we go 2 for 2? 

• I’m interested to see what the new look 716 does in D3. 

• Talking about Father Baker earlier really had me thinking about all of the great gender teams we’ve had in the past: Matty’s Angels, The Angles, Seneca Greenhouse, Molly’s Ladies, Lenny’s Ladies, RSS Ladies, Bi-Polar Express, Breast Friends, Victorious Secret…all great teams. I think that’s all of them. Hopefully we get another one in the league soon enough, because gender teams are the best. Shout out to the Cunning Stunts for sticking around for so long. 

• Yet again, if you want your team to have a little more “publicity”, I need to know about you and your players. Email me like so many others do at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know about how great you think you are. 

-GF OUT 

WEEK 3 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

• Print
• Email

Details

Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 01 September 2023 13:34

Published: Friday, 01 September 2023 13:34

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 405

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality has begun, and the time for “dusting off the cobwebs” and “shaking off the rust” is over. It’s Week 3, and the TSL Fall 2023 season is now entering November. The weather should start getting a little cooler as the leaves begin to change color, pumpkin spice everything begins to fill the air, and white women begin their most basic of transformations: large sweaters and ugg boots will soon be everywhere, and yes, they’re going to want to do “Fall Things”. (I say this of course, with the word that Buffalo is going to jump back up to 80 degrees this Saturday, and should be approaching 90 next week from my Weather Channel app.)

Keeping with the theme though, there's quite a few things to “Live, Laugh, and Love” about the TSL Fall 2023 season so far after two weeks of play. 

Live: These teams aren’t quite playing up to their potential, but it hasn’t been all bad. As of right now, they can “live” with the results. 

• Losing Streak/Mavericks: Jordan’s teams are 2-4 overall, but getting Eyes Downtown twice already was a tough schedule, and the Mavericks, even at 0-2, have two 1 score losses to the top two teams in the division (so far). Plus they really seem to like each other. All good things ahead for both these squads.

• Cle-Avengers Assemble: 0-2, but after a week off in Week 2 look for this talented squad to get back to winning football games. 

• Vaspian: 1-1 and got a nice win over Lets Get Reccked in Week 2, should be trending upwards from here.

• Let’s Get Reccked: 0-2, but both games have been without their starting QB. 

• BAADies: 2-2, but way too talented to just go away. A third straight doubleheader this week for the girls, who have beaten the two worst teams in the division, and lost to the top 2. It’ll be interesting to see where they end up. 

Laugh: These teams are not having a good start to the season and if things don’t change quickly, it could be a long September. 

• Not So Sticky: 0-3, and have been playing mostly uninspired football it seems. 

• Legends: It’s Week 3 and they haven’t won a game yet. 

• Practice Squad: 0-2 isn’t the start they were looking for, but they get B back this week. Even still, the doubts from the spring have started to pop back into their heads. 

• Father Baker: 0-2 to start, and I hate putting them in the “laugh” zone, but unless they figure things out quickly, this could be a rough first go for them. 

• Passing While Intoxicated: 0-2 already and they were soundly outplayed last week. Hopefully they get their heads in the game and remember who they are. 

• Colorado Mike, specifically, is 0-5. 

• The Schedule Maker: Multiple teams haven’t even played a game yet, and some have their season half over. For shame. 

Love: These teams are very clearly firing on all cylinders right now, and couldn’t have asked for a better start to a season. 

• Can’t Touch This: 3-0, On top of D2, and didn’t just beat up on slouches either. 

• Cunning Stunts: 3-0, running D4, and scoring 52.3 points per game against their top D4 rivals. Absolutely brutalizing the league. 

• Eyes Downtown: 3-0, and looking like the best team in the TSL. 

• Wanderers: 2-0 and looking to be a top team in the very difficult D3. 

• Bullet Club: See Wanderers. 

• GUCCI: 3-0. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and that’s exactly what we’re seeing here as Kelly is just dunking on her competition right now. After GUCCI blew that playoff game last season, you can tell they’re more focused than ever. 

• Creekers: 2-1, but two more wins than all of last season. D5 looks to be the spot for this team for sure. 

• Just Get Open: I hesitate to put a 2-2 team on here, but their captain John reached out to me to let me know that they had a rough Week 1 due to alcohol consumption (which shouldn’t be an issue for ANY TSL franchise), and they’d rebound in Week 2. And rebound they did. Two wins in which they scored 58 and 52 points. If this is the team we’re going to see every week in D6, look out. 

And now, for the rest of your regularly scheduled predictions and assorted fun. 

D1:

Last Week’s Games: 

Sticky Bandits 37, Frodo Swaggins 28

Eyes Downtown 47, Losing Streak 33

Losing Streak 59, Frodo Swaggins 36

The Sticky Bandits play their first game of the season and win over Frodo despite being short handed. Eyes Downtown beats Losing Streak again to assert their dominance over the division. Losing Streak takes out their frustrations on Frodo. 

This Week’s Games:

Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits (+3) - Losing Streak has definitely played more games this season than Sticky and should be the more cohesive unit. Rumors persist that Jeff Krol’s fatherhood has caused him to neglect his Sticky duties and the team is in more disarray than usual. Andrew Kicak free agent rumors start to heat up. LOSING STREAK BY 12

Eyes Downtown vs Legends (EVEN) - Well, here you have it folks, the absolute biggest game of the day. Eyes Downtown couldn’t be more dialed in and the Legends, again, haven’t won a game yet this season. All jokes aside, here is the measuring stick for both teams to see how they stack up with each other. A win here gives them the edge on the #1 seed in the playoffs, which could end up being a big thing come playoffs. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

Legends vs Frodo Swaggins (+17) - Things never get easier for Frodo, ever. The Legends will be coming off a tough game, but if they lose, I imagine they’re going to take it out on Frodo here. LEGENDS BY 10

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

THREAD 38, Freeballers 33

Can’t Touch This 19, Practice Squad 6

Can’t Touch This 45, Mavericks 38

THREAD gets their first victory of the season over a Freeballers squad that looked pretty good with Hogan under center. Once he focuses more on the field than on the refs, they should win a few games. Can’t Touch This proceeded to squeak by a “B-less” Practice Squad before winning a shootout with a banged up Mavericks squad. 

This Week’s Games:

The Untouchaballs vs THREAD (+7) - The UTs had a week off after a great Week 1 and they hope to keep the momentum going against a THREAD team that’s remembering they’re pretty good at football when they want to be. If THREAD is going to be a factor in the D2 title picture, this is the litmus test they’re looking for. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

Mavericks vs THREAD (EVEN) - The Mavericks seem to have the defensive issues that plagued them last season where they allowed nearly 30 points a game on average. Lucky for them, they can score in bunches. THREAD can definitely take advantage of the holes in the Mavericks D, which will make for a high scoring affair. THREAD BY 1

The Untouchaballs vs Can’t Touch This (EVEN) - A lot of not touching going on here. One team is untouchable, and the other you can’t touch. Somebody is going to have to touch someone here, I’m sorry. The second biggest game of the day is right here. These two teams are 5-0, and have been playing excellently. This is the biggest test for CTT, playing D2’s hottest (regular season) team for a few seasons now. CTT better bring their A-game. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 5. 

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

Vaspian 24, Let’s Get Reccked 16

Wanderers 37, Keller Whales 31

The Family 53, 716 38

Wanderers 43, The Malones 33

The Wanderers finally showed up this season and went 2-0 out of the gate, racking up close wins over Keller Whales and The Malones. Vaspian got their first win of the season over Let’s Get Reccked, and The Family put up a LOT of points against a new look 716. 

This Week’s Games:

Bullet Club vs 716 (+7) - 716 just lost 53-38 to The Family, a team Bullet Club beat 32-18. That’s about as much info as we have on these two teams matching up so far. These two teams have played each other in some close ones before, but that was with Derek Pew throwing rockets all over the place, and not the methodical progression that B provides. Bullet Club has talent all over the board, and they’re more consistent than ever. BULLET CLUB BY 6

The Family vs Vaspian (+3) - Both teams are 1-1 and looking to move up in the eyes of the league here. Vaspian’s strength has always been their defense, and they’ll have their hands full with a fast, and exciting Family Offense. I think this game will be more of a shootout, and that’s not the type of game Vaspian can keep up in. THE FAMILY BY 13

Let’s Get Reccked vs 716 (EVEN) - It’s hard to gauge the Fall 2023 edition of both of these teams right now, as they’ve played a combined 3 games, but NONE have had their starting QB. Assuming Alex and B will both be present, I have to give the slight edge to LGR because, well, they’ve done this before. Many, many times. B will still be adjusting to his new team. LETS GET RECCKED BY 3

The Family vs The Malones (EVEN) - Our battle of the D3 “The” teams, who knows what we’ll get here. The Malones hung with the Wanderers, and even if they didn’t win, they showed they could play with them. The Family struggled with Bullet Club, but had no real issues with a new 716 team. I’m going to give The Family a slight edge just for having played an extra game to get acclimated. THE FAMILY BY 2

Keller Whales vs The Malones (+6) - The Malones get a pretty hard one on the back end of their doubleheader as the Keller Clan comes to town. KW looks pretty good so far this season, nearly beating another title contender, Wanderers. Damien Keller is already 6 times the QB his father ever was, but he’s only 100th of the QB his grandfather still is. Katie and Nicole are awesome. This team is really good.  I’m sorry I don’t have more to go on for you, The Malones. KELLER WHALES BY 10

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice 29, Passing While Intoxicated 20

Cunning Stunts 61, Buffalo Vice 33

Cunning Stunts 52, Passing While Intoxicated 12

Puckett All-Stars 30, Father Baker 10

Travis Henry’s Kids 38, Father Baker 26

The Cunning Stunts are simply on fire, dropping 113 points in two games in wins over Buffalo Vice and PWI. Vice would also play PWI and would get a close win, dropping PWI to 0-2. Father Baker debuted and it didn’t go as they hoped, dropping games to Puckett and THK. 

This Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice vs TMA (+6) - TMA finally decides to play a game this season, and they get to show off their new toy, Boccio Bernal. Boccio Bernal is a first ballot TSL Hall of Famer, and his presence alone should help TMA significantly, right? It also helps that TMA gets Diana Bernal back after she missed last session with an injury. She was playing some of her best football before she got hurt.  Buffalo Vice loves chucking the football. They’re a good team, and have been for a while. They ran into the Stunts freight train last week, but they should handle TMA no problem. BUFFALO VICE BY 8

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs TMA (+6) - ILF finally plays a game this week too! They’ll get TMA in their first go. These two teams met before, with ILF winning pretty handily if I recall. This should be a pretty good game overall. TMA BY 2

Cunning Stunts vs ILF (+14) - But this won’t be. ILF is the next team to be fed to the Stunts juggernaut, and I’m not sure if they can properly plan for them with how ‘in sync’ the ladies are right now. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Puckett All-Stars (EVEN) - A lowkey very good game incoming here. THK handled their business with Father Baker last week, getting into the win column right away. If Langley is a bum (very possible), Puckett takes this in a cake walk with the talent they have across the roster, regardless of who is throwing. (And who IS throwing for Puckett? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me!) But, if he’s calm and on point, we’re in for a treat. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 1

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

GUCCI 46, Goatsack! 32

Goatsack! 22, Not So Sticky 6

BAADies 51, Cobblestone 42

Come From Behind 48, BAADies 19

Creekers 30, Cobblestone 14

GUCCI continues to roll, pulling away from a very game Goatsack!, who would go on to beat Not So Sticky right after. The BAADies defeated Darryl and Cobblestone in a high scoring affair before they took the loss to Come From Behind. The Creekers finished up D5 play last week with a win over Cobblestone themselves. 

This Week’s Games:

BAADies vs Goatsack! (+8) - The BAADies can’t get enough of doubleheaders it seems, and this week they start off with Goatsack, who looked good in both their games last weekend, despite only being 1-1. As long as the BAADies can minimize mistakes, this one should be theirs for the taking. BAADIES BY 10

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Not So Sticky (+10) - Spinelli’s Plumbing is FINALLY back after a session (and two weeks) off. If you recall, Spinelli’s was one of the highest scoring teams in the TSL for about 5 sessions there. Here’s hoping they pick up right where they left off. Even if Not So Sticky can slow down that offense, they can’t stop it, and they just simply don’t score enough to keep up with Spinelli’s. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 10

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs BAADies (+8) - And the BAADies 6th game of the season is Spinelli’s 2nd. This is a bad matchup for the BAADies simply because of how high powered the offense of Spinelli’s is. With the BAADies still figuring out some things defensively, this isn’t going to be encouraging. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 17

GUCCI vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - No, you’re not reading this wrong. Spinelli’s has a TRIPLE header this week, most likely as a result of needing the first two weeks of the season off. If these two teams were both on their first game of the day, I’d tell you to take the over and we’d be seeing a battle. But honestly, I’m just going to use logic here. 80 degrees and sunny day, third straight game for Spinelli’s, third straight game for Nick Hawes throwing (I’m assuming he’s the QB still) and he’s coming in cold (Pro Tip for Spinelli’s: if you’re up or down big in either of the first two games, take him OUT and have someone else throw), and they’re playing a fresh GUCCI team that’s on fire? Oh this is going to be bad. GUCCI BY 13

Goatsack! vs Not So Sticky (+10) - These two teams met last week, and Goatsack had little to no issue with NSS. If NSS gets their QB there and they game plan a little bit more, they can pull this one out, but right now nothing about this team is pointing in that direction. GOATSACK! BY 12

Come From Behind vs Creekers (+10) - One the one hand, the Creekers have been good this season. They got their first two wins and are looking nice. On the other hand, the teams they beat are the worst two in the division and are a combined 0-6. What stands out though is that they played GUCCI very tough, only losing 27-18. This is another litmus test for our Creek Freaks. Come From Behind is just good. They’ve been good for decades. They seem to be on the same page this season already. This will be tough. COME FROM BEHIND BY 15

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - A marquee matchup between two of the best D5 has to offer. A potential D5 title preview is right here and this game shapes up to be absolutely fun. GUCCI got the best of CFB last season, but this is a new session and anything can happen. At the end of the day, I just think GUCCI is currently playing a slight tick better. GUCCI BY 1

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Just Get Open 58, Mighty Drunks 35

Sausage McMuffins 38, Balls Deep 12

Just Get Open 52, Back That Pass Up 8

Balls Deep 36, Back That Pass Up 31

Just Get Open announces to the TSL that they’re D6 title contenders after getting revenge on the Mighty Drunks from a week ago before slaughtering BTPU. BTPU would look much, much better in a close loss against Balls Deep, who earlier in the day got beat up a little bit by the McMuffins, who find themselves on top of D6 early on for the second session in a row. 

This Week’s Games:

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+7) - Blitzkrieg took a week off after a strong 2-0 start and they look to continue their winning ways against an inconsistent Balls Deep team. Balls Deep is 2-1, but they’re only at a +2 point differential. They looked great in a win against the Tuddies, but looked out of place against the McMuffins last week. Then they barely scraped by a BTPU team that hasn’t won a game yet. Which team are they? BLITZKRIEG BY 7

Balls Deep vs Pit Harade (+7) - If Balls Deep is inconsistent, so is Pit Harade. PH got smoked by the Mighty Drunks in Week 1 but followed that up immediately with a close loss against Blitzkrieg. Dave Walter has been moving the offense since he took over at QB last season, so I’m guessing they’re more of the team that played BK tough. This should be a close one. BALLS DEEP BY 3

Two Tuddies vs Back That Pass Up (+14) - The Tud Buds are back, and they’re looking to rectify this 0-1 start they’ve put themselves into. While I’m sure there were good reasons they lost in Week 1, the last thing they could want to do is give away a game to BTPU before a meeting with the Drunks. If the BTPU plays how they did in their second game last week, and the Tuddies are looking ahead to the next game, an upset could happen. But I don’t see it. TWO TUDDIES BY 17

Two Tuddies vs Mighty Drunks (+3) - A classic game between two of the top D6 teams (granted, there may be five top teams in the division) where tiebreakers are on the line. The Tuddies need this game more, but the Drunks have looked excellent, especially on offense. They average 42.3 points per game already in the three they’ve played. After the Tuddies offense was non-existent Week 1, I worry they can’t keep pace. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 8

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

• Wait, Boccio is actually on TMA? Yeah, you read that right. One of the TSL’s more interesting storylines this season is seeing how much of an effect Boccio joining TMA will have on the team. It’s not often a player who’s won multiple MVPs and perhaps the most D1 titles in history (I have to check on that) leaves D1 to drop to D4 when they can still play at a high level. He wanted to play with his wife, that’s his right. 

• How is that allowed? How is that fair? Well, it isn’t ever going to be fair when a team gets a top player, is it?. However, this isn’t the TMA you might remember. This is the third stage of TMA. There was the fun loving, moonshine drinking, talk a lot of smack and lose in the first round of the playoffs after finishing first in the regular season TMA. Then there was the “We got a bunch of tall guys and figured out how to win” version of TMA that was climbing up the divisions, which might be who you’re thinking they still are. This version of TMA, mind you, was 2-6 and finished in last place in D5. An upset of GUCCI in the playoffs notwithstanding, they didn’t add anyone else but Boccio, and were forced to move up a division to make that happen. You know, the division where the Stunts are abusing their opponents, and the QBs are either strong armed, smart, or both? It won’t be easy for them. 

• Well, I still don’t like it. How can you say he should be playing in D4? Of course you don’t like it, because it’s not your team. Nobody likes other teams getting better. But realistically, great players play in lower divisions all of the time. The only difference is that they tend to start and stay there, not play D1 and then move down. Look at D4 as it is. The Stunts are chock full of D1/D2 players. THK has Pistol Pete and Aaron who should be playing in a higher division. Puckett’s awesome ladies could easily be playing higher up. Hell, all of Puckett should be in D3 after winning last season. Buffalo Vice has players that have played in higher divisions, and Caitlyn Mason is a D1 talent. The point is, don’t overreact. Or at least let them play a game first before doing so. 

• Now that we’re a couple of weeks in, which division is the most fun and/or competitive? I’m going to take the weak answer here and honestly say that I think it's all of them. D1 is going to be VERY fun and interesting with the top 4 teams battling it out. Eyes Downtown looks fantastic. The Legends can’t be counted out. Losing Streak has so much talent. Sticky has been in the mix for years now. Whoever gets this title will have EARNED it. D2 already has big games every week. You can see ANY of the teams that aren’t the Freeballers winning the title there. D3 continues to stay close in competition and even the new teams (The Family and The Malones) look to fit right in. There isn’t one team you’d be surprised won it. D4 is a bloodbath with the Stunts right now, but tell me how many times the girls have crushed the regular season before getting sniped by the #8 seed? THK, Puckett, Vice, ILF, TMA potentially, Father Baker, and PWI? Every single team can win that division and you’d say “yeah, I see how they won”. D5 might just end up being GUCCI and CFB running away with it. But if the Creekers are for real, and Spinelli’s goes right back to where they were, things get interesting. And you can never count out the BAADies to score oodles of points. And D6 has a Top 5 right NOW that are all closely matched, and that doesn’t even include the Tuddies. BTPU could’ve beaten Balls Deep and Pit Harade was a minute or so away from beating Blitzkrieg. EVERY DIVISION IS FUN AND COMPETITIVE. That’s when the TSL is at its best. 

• So what are your “after two weeks” Championship Predictions? Eyes Downtown, hands down. TEIM folding was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to them, and the worst thing to happen to the other D1 teams. Can’t Touch This looks amazing and I want to root for them. I’m not all in on a title win, but if they beat Burr and Co this week? Sign me up. This just feels like the season the Wanderers take it. They were so close last season and they’re just too good. I know the Stunts like to blow it in the playoffs, but right now they’re just too on fire not to pick. GUCCI’s revenge tour looks like they’re going to complete the mission in D5. D6 is nuts, but Just Get Open looks to be the real deal. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

• This is a good week to be at the fields all day and watch some games. We have some really big matchups this week. Eyes Downtown vs Legends? Can’t Touch This vs Untouchaballs? Come From Behind vs GUCCI? A lot of “top teams in the division” matchups. 

• Speaking of, here are your best games to watch: 

• 10:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends

• 11:00 - THREAD vs Mavericks

• 12:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Untouchaballs

• 1:00 - GUCCI vs Spinelli’s Plumbing

• 2:00 - Come From Behind vs GUCCI (every GUCCI game is must watch)

• 3:00 - Keller Whales vs The Malones

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Steph’s Misty Infection 41, Blachuranus 30

• BDD 38, Dirty Dozen 27

• We’ve got more bar specials for you! This week is a Labatt Blue Light bucket special for $15, and for Labor Day Weekend: Red, White, and Blue margaritas in the pouches. 

• Glad to see that The Sentinel is back, and I don’t know if they got better equipment or what’s going on with the TSL podcast but it sounds a lot better than it ever has this season. 

• Thanks again to everyone that sends me weekly emails giving me the scoops that I can’t get unless I was at the fields. If you have anyone you want to shout out, again, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. 

• I wonder who currently has the best jerseys in the league? 

• Is the TSL fantasy football league happening? Usually I’m being asked at this point to promote it, or did Jeff Krol run away with the Lenny Alba title belt? 

• If the Two Tuddies lose to the Mighty Drunks, you’ll have to  wonder if they’ll have missed their championship window last season and it's closed now. 

• As always, don’t yell at the refs and be absolute jerks to them. They’ll make mistakes. It’s been my experience that everyone learns from a situation if you talk things out instead of being a psychopath. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

• Print
• Email

Details

Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 18 August 2023 19:25

Published: Friday, 18 August 2023 19:25

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 432

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, after a lovely summer chock full of vacations, cook outs, parties, home improvement projects that mostly got done, weddings, personal growth, turning on your AC/wishing you had AC, and whatever else you do during the middle of the year: it’s time. You can feel it in the air when you walk outside, ever so slightly. The mornings have a tiny chill in them. The smell of fall is growing every day. And with that comes football. 

And on Saturday, August 19th, in the Year of Our Lord 2023, the World’s Premier Social Co-Ed Football Experience, the TSL has returned! That’s right, tomorrow we will have 49 teams across 7 divisions take the field as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins once again! 

There’s been a lot that’s happened since we last left you in June. Players have switched teams. Long time franchises have folded, while new ones have emerged. Teams from the past have returned. The referee fees have jumped up to $30 a game in an effort to get better refs, which has apparently been working. Or at least Garrett says it is. The Rose Garden has promised us that we have 5 fields for most of the season, which means that we don’t have to have as many later games. But no, this doesn’t mean you get to try to switch around your schedule because there are more “open” fields on the schedule. Cut it out. You know who you are. 

Every new season is its own adventure. There will be many twists and turns along the way, and no matter what you think, chances are you’re going to be wrong. And that’s the fun of the TSL. Everyone has a chance to end the season as a champion. Except for the Freeballers. And THK. 

D1:

Odds To Win The Championship:

Legends (2-1)

Losing Streak (4-1)

Sticky Bandits (4-1)

Eyes Downtown (6-1)

Frodo Swaggins (50-1)

Preseason Hype: There isn’t much. After a season in which we saw D1 get closer than ever to returning to its former glory, we’re right back to a lame, 5 team division. Just as D1 got good, the teams started cannibalizing themselves which has led to the end (at least for this season) of Tight Ends In Motion and Grey Hair Don’t Care as some of their stars became “front runners” and joined better teams. You can even make a case that cannibalization is what drove Scared Hitless back to D2, as they lost arguably their best player last season. It all adds up to a weak D1 with a couple of “super teams”, where by Week 5 the teams are going to complain they’re playing the same teams again and again. “But try to remember, they did this to themselves”, as one email to me put it. After winning two very weak D1 titles, the Legends finally won a “good” one that counts. They remain the favorites to do it again, as they sniped Andy Smigeria (there’s no way that’s spelled right) from Tight Ends which gives them one of the most athletic teams we’ve ever seen. Sean is fantastic, Shbend is very good, Travis is there, and they have 2 of the Top 5 females in the entire league in Mel and Maddie Norton. Oh, wait, Taylor Pagano is there too. It’s just an all-star team top to bottom, despite their shortcomings at QB. But that’s why Sean is starting to play the position, isn’t it? Losing Streak was my pick to win it last season, and they’ve given me zero reason to think that they can’t do it still. Jordan gets a little too much hate nowadays, and honestly, he’s made strides as a QB these past few seasons. Everyone knows how good Ralph and Chris are, and now Stoner Dave is added to this team? They also trot out Crystal, Robin, and Britney on top of it. Losing Streak is primed to win. Is this the year? Or is this the year that new dad Jeff Krol finally steers Sticky into the D1 title that has eluded them? This should be surprising to nobody, but they’ll be bringing out the same roster that they’ve had for quite some time. No real big free agent splashes here. Sticky has the talent and the knowhow, but they just can’t figure it out in the playoffs. Another football season, another rendition of Eyes Downtown. Bobby was a masterful GM this season. Not only did he woo Amber Hay away from Grey Hair (and sent them to the minors) he sniffed out that Tight Ends fire sale and bought BIG. Tall Derek, Kyle Conniff, and Katie Salisbury all join ED which will obviously give them a massive boost in talent from the additions (not to mention this means Blase will play less, which can only help). This team is the most interesting team in D1. I’ll be keeping a close eye on how well they mesh together. Last up is the slightly overmatched Frodo Swaggins. The TSL’s version of Vanderbilt playing in the SEC, Garrett’s squad had some growing pains for sure last year. The D1 game is different of course, and there’s an adjustment to be had, especially when you get brand new people on the team too. While the talent on Frodo is very good, it seems like they missed out on the free agents that the other teams absorbed and (on paper at least) makes it look like they’re a step behind. It all adds up to what could be quite the frustrating season for Frodo. 

Preseason Prediction: I think Eyes Downtown uses the new talent they’ve acquired from the TEIM firesale to win the D1 title over Losing Streak. 

This Week’s Games:

Eyes Downtown vs Frodo Swaggins (+10) - Frodo unfortunately is going to be double digit underdogs in every game they play until they prove otherwise. The difference here will be that Bobby has more than likely been running two-a-days with his new players for a month and they’ll be prepared. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 17

Losing Streak vs Eyes Downtown (EVEN) - My Championship title game prediction gets to play each other right off the bat? That’s fun! This has Game Of The Day potential for sure. It’ll be fun to see these pretty evenly matched teams go at it. I’ll give the slight edge to Losing Streak here since ED will be coming off a game played already. LOSING STREAK BY 1

Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins (+10) - Different game, same scenario. I need to see something out of Frodo before thinking they can pull off any upsets. LOSING STREAK BY 12

D2:

Odds To Win The Championship:

Untouchaballs (3-1)

Scared Hitless (4-1)

Cleavengers Assemble (6-1)

Mavericks (6-1)

THREAD (8-1)

Can’t Touch This (13-1)

Practice Squad (17-1)

Freeballers (20-1)

Preseason Hype: D2 is BACK BABY. For the longest time, D2 was the best division to be in. It combined the high levels of competition without the “D1-ness” of things that turns people off. Eventually, the people who were on two teams thing turned D2 into a bit more of a “D1 lite”, but with the new rules, and some new D2 blood over the last couple seasons, we’re back to where we want to be. This division is going to be AWESOME. The Untouchaballs are back yet again with Jeremy Burr slinging the rock. He has been arguably one of the best QBs in the league the last few seasons, and he’d more than likely win D1 if chose to throw in it. But he wants to “keep it fair for the tryhards there”. Okay, that’s not an actual Burr quote, but I feel like it would be. Burr turned Melanie into a superstar, he still has Matt Helm and Handsome Greg, and he still has other teams sleeping on his sneaky good other girls. They’re the favorites and for good reason. Welcome back to D2 Scared Hitless. SH feels like that really cool friend everyone liked that went away to war for a few years, but now they’re back. They served their time. They have NOTHING to hang their heads about for their D1 stint. It's admirable that they did it at all. They return to a D2 where they’ll be competing for the title right away. They have talent all across the board, and if things click early? Look out. Cleavengers Assemble is Travis’ latest random D2 team that he whips together that has some TSL stars on it. This time he’s going to trot out Emily Curry, Maggie, and Casey. That just doesn’t feel fair. JZ returns after winning his championship last year, quieting rumors of retirement. Not entirely sure how strong the males are on this roster though, so it’ll be interesting to see how they play out. This team can win games with their females alone though. The Mavericks are a fun team that really started to click at the end of last season. Now they add George and Emily to an already solid roster? 6-1 odds feels like the bet to be making here, especially when you remember that they have league darling Maverick Mike on the squad. Instant fun team here. Speaking of fun, it seems Cory Turner decided to go back in time to 2015 and bring everyone back with him. THREAD boasts some of the best “Ghosts of TSLs Past” with Dalfonso, Gawron, and Andy Smith just to name a few. Somewhere, Lenny is smiling. It’ll be interesting to see how the old timers do. (Spoiler Alert: they still got it). Can't Touch This makes the climb to D2 after winning D3 last season. They’re just solid top to bottom with a rocket armed QB, and that’s usually a good mix. The biggest question for CTT over the years has been their females and how they’ll measure up to the competition. I’m letting the cat out of the bag here: after a few seasons under their belts and getting a hang of the co-ed football game, these girls are *good*. You don’t know them yet, but you should, and you’re going to. Can't Touch This will go as far in D2 as these ladies take them. Sorry CTT, I just ruined your surprise factor, I know. Practice Squad was one play away from winning a LOT of games last season, but instead they just slightly kept missing out. It was about as good of a losing season as one can be though. The team really learned a lot, and they’re GOING to win games this session. Plus, peeking at the rosters I see that they added a superstar in Rylee Moser. Uh oh. That’s big for PS. And then we have the Freeballers. Hey guys. You added studs last year and it just didn’t go well. I see some new names again. I see HOGAN?!?! IS HOGAN RETURNING?!? Business is about to pick up here in D2. 

Preseason Prediction: In a wild, wild season that I feel like we’ll see lots of good games, give me the Untouchaballs winning the title over the Mavericks in the end. 

This Week’s Games:

Scared Hitless vs THREAD (+3) - Scared Hitless should be quite focused in this one, and you have to assume they learned a lot during their D1 time. I’m going to give THREAD the benefit of the doubt here and I’ll assume they have some cobwebs to clear out and some rust to knock off, so this is preseason for them. SCARED HITLESS BY 6

Scared Hitless vs Practice Squad (+8) - SH could be staring a 2-0 start in the face for this one, which should wash away the pain of the last few seasons. I’m excited for Practice Squad this season, but they still need to show they can do it first. SCARED HITLESS BY 1

The Untouchaballs vs Cle-avengers Assemble (+6) - I’m sure Burr hasn’t forgotten the way Travis unceremoniously booted him off of Legends before last year’s title game. I’ll expect chirping here, but Burr will be out to prove a point. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 9

Cle-avengers Assemble vs Can’t Touch This (+7) - CTT always gets off to a slow start after an offseason of alcoholism and not training, so I don’t expect their best just yet here. Cleavage Ass should be just fine here. CLEAVENGERS ASSEMBLE BY 12

The Untouchaballs vs Mavericks (+3) - I will say, I don’t look at the schedule before I make my predictions, so it’s fun to see that another one of my Championship Finals predictions will get to play out in Week 1. I will say though, I see this one going the other way. MAVERICKS BY 4 

D3:

Odds To Win The Championship:

Wanderers (4-1)

Bullet Club (4-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (4-1)

Keller Whales (4-1)

716 (6-1)

The Family (10-1)

Vaspian (12-1)

The Malones (25-1)

Preseason Hype: Did you notice the theme? D3 looks a little bit different than it has in the last few seasons, but the one thing that stays the same is that there is NO clear favorite in arguably our most competitive division (although D2 really looks like it's taking the cake there). Just about any of these teams can win it. The Wanderers return everyone that they’ve returned for the last 7,258 seasons. They continue to just be good at football, and they came up JUST short in the championship game last season. They’re the nicest team and everyone enjoys playing against them (unless they get on Laura’s bad side. Don’t do that.). Just about every single game they play is a one score game that comes down to the end. Every Wanderers game is a must watch. Bullet Club returns with pretty much the same roster yet again. One notable difference is former D3 MVP Pistol Pete isn’t on the roster, only playing in D4 for THK. Not good for BC, but Joe K DID get George Lombardo to replace him. I guess if you’re going to try to replace one tall, fast, talented guy, you may as well do it with another one. Let’s Get Reccked had some holes last season, but it's safe to say that having Kyle Conniff on the roster alongside Dave Baker will get them everything they need to succeed. The Keller Whales is just another name for Team Keller, who should really just go back to 3rd and Schlong at this point. All of the Kellers are back, alongside the First Lady Val Bernal, Scotty Dro is throwing, and it seems they added some McGregors of Mountain Dew Me fame. That’s fun. 716 makes their return after a season off, as Derek Pew hands the QB reins to B, who is apparently pulling double duty this season at QB. And he’s playing Breakfast Club? B’s arm is going to fall off this season. He forgot he’s old now. You heard it here first. They also have perennial nicest person in the league candidate Tammy Buczek on the team, and Donte Ridgeway is going to look to build on the name he was making for himself a couple of seasons ago. They’re dangerous. The Family is a new franchise, but they’re really not. Of the things I know about them? Pete “Former Best Tommy Hughes” Nguyen is getting the dust off his body to come back to the TSL. Pete is a game changer, even if he’s like 48 now. I know that Leseaon Washington is a VERY good player, but we haven’t heard his name since Peachy Platoon left us. He’ll be back in the spotlight in D3. And Terrell Bolden is a very good QB who should always have a team, and it wasn’t right that he didn’t for a time there. It’s good to see him playing more than just Breakfast Club this year. Vaspian is back yet again as one of the better defensive teams in the league. Scoring is always a little tough for them, but they do their best. The current roster I have for them seems a little light, so I'm going to assume they’ll be acquiring another player or two. Last up, we have The Malones. Perhaps I’m completely wrong, but I don’t think I know any of the players here. Who are you? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know! Hype your team up. I can’t put a team that I know nothing about with better odds. Looking forward to seeing what you have cooking over there. 

Preseason Prediction: Let’s Get Reccked demands D3 play the 10 and 11 games in the playoffs so they don’t get ruined at the bar beforehand and they take the title over the Wanderers, sparking the whispers that the Wanderers can’t do it in the TSL. 

This Week’s Games:

Bullet Club vs Vaspian (+7) - A good matchup right out of the gate as both of these teams will get right into familiar territory. Vaspian must hope Drew is there, as they’re a completely different team without him. If the newly engaged Brian O (Congratulations!) is locked in, Vaspian could do some damage. However, if QB Jeff Easton is firing on all cylinders, it could be a long day for Vaspian. BULLET CLUB BY 12

Bullet Club vs The Family (+7) - A BC double header will give us our first look at The Family and we’ll see how they stack up against one of the better D3 teams we’ve had the last few seasons. Hard to predict when we don’t know what we’re getting from The Fam. BULLET CLUB BY 10

Keller Whales vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - Another fun matchup in D3 that will pit two contenders for the title against each other right away. While neither team truly “needs” this win in Week 1, it’ll be a good litmus test to see where they stand. LETS GET RECCKED BY 3

D4:

Odds To Win The Championship:

Puckett All-Stars (3-1)

Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Buffalo Vice (4-1)

Father Baker (6-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (8-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (10-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (10-1)

TMA (15-1)

Preseason Hype: Puckett returns as the defending champion, and although it looks like they have most of the gang back together this season, it appears that Vince isn’t on the team this year. A return to TJ at QB? Is there a new gunslinger on the horizon? These questions need answers! The Cunning Stunts are back, as they always are. Our longest running gender team returns with Joey Batts at the helm, and he’s got all of the usual Clarkes and Paganos running around for him. Renee, Katie Keller, Kelly Liddle, Jilly Batts-Brother, Emily Curry, and the lesser known but shouldn’t be Ashtin Fiegel make up a team that’s going to beat you by 30 and you just don’t know it yet. But one team they don’t always beat is Buffalo Vice! Vice is back and I believe they’ve got everyone back from last season. Andy Clark has a cannon, Caitlyn Mason is still one of the best girls in the league, and everyone on this team knows what to do. They’ve done it for years. Looking forward to them trying to run it back. The hilariously named Father Baker is exactly what this league needs: Another gender team! While we’re not quite at the 4 or 5 we had a few seasons ago, we’re back up to 3, and that’s awesome. This team touts Dave Baker as the QB, but mastermind GM Amber Hay has collected a who’s who of TSL Ladies. Robin, Maddie, Jaimie Warren, Emily Belfield, Rachel Grampp, Kayla Voss, Molly Morgan Santo, Casey, the underrated Jessie Kieta, and more! This team looks to be a contender right away, and it’ll be fun to hear about them. PWI returns yet again, as Colorado Mike’s squad continues to build on the successes they’ve had pretty much since they started in the league. Buddy Lee has slowly morphed into one of the league’s better QBs, and honestly the ladies and gentlemen around him continue to improve. PWI is only heading up. THK may be stuck with John Langley at QB, but they still proceed to compete in just about every game they play. Pistol Pete is uncoverable in D4, and with Aaron Balcerzak catching non-overthrown passes finally in his career, THK has weapons. The biggest knock on them has been the lack of a stud female, as most of the THK girls are solid, but not spectacular. However it seems Lindsey West has joined the team this year, and she immediately becomes the #1 female on the depth chart. ILF had a slowish start to last season as they tried out different QBs, but I believe that now they have one. This team is always tough to play against, as Kicak has his team prepared, and after a few seasons now, they KNOW how to play. Sometimes knowing and actually doing are two different things though, and that’s where ILF gets into trouble occasionally. They will be in most of their games and they’re a riot to play against. Don’t count them out. Last but not least is TMA. You may be asking “Why on Earth would a team that went 2-6 last season in D5 jump up to D4?” and that’s a valid question. Obviously, Brent must’ve gotten in tremendous shape over the offseason. While it doesn’t seem that TMA got any of the old gang back that took off last season, they did get one notable free agent as Michael Boccio-Bernal has left the bright lights of D1 to play with Diana and friends. MBB is arguably one of the greatest players in TSL history, I’m pretty sure he’s won more D1 titles than maybe anyone ever, and the price you pay for adding him is moving up a division. I do not know how much he’ll truly affect games in D4, but it's another interesting storyline to watch play out. 

Preseason Prediction: Father Baker upsets the Cunning Stunts to win the title. Girl power. 

This Week’s Games:

Puckett All-Stars vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - This feels like the 3rd straight season we’ve led off with these two battling each other. D4’s only game of the week sure is a doozy however. Bet the over. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 3

D5;

Odds To Win The Championship:

Come From Behind (3-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (5-1)

GUCCI (6-1)

BAADIES (8-1)

Not So Sticky (11-1)

Goatsack! (11-1)

Cobblestone (12-1)

Creekers (20-1)

Preseason Hype: Come From Behind goes into their 100th anniversary season without many changes. They just don’t need to adjust this roster, as they’re routinely one of the D5 title contenders. Paul LoVullo still has a rocket launcher for an arm, causing TSL brass to consider drug testing him. The roster is still stacked, the team will show up, and they’re going to be there at the finish line. Spinelli’s Plumbing returns after a season off, and as a result they dropped a division. While a couple of them played to keep fresh last year, not all of them did. The team looks largely the same as it always has, which means once they click, they should be dropping 50 points on everyone again and getting ready for D4 in the Spring. GUCCI is back after a great regular season (we won’t mention the playoffs) and Kelly Kane has her team ready to get right back at the goal of a championship. They’re another team that's in every game they play and they’re so smart with the football. Now they have a chip on their shoulder? Revenge Tour incoming. The BAADIES dropped down to D5 after a pretty good showing in D4. They’re a very good team that sadly lost a couple players to other squads but Garrett has found himself some new gems to replace the ones they lost. There’s nothing wrong with dropping a division, getting everyone on the same page, and moving up to hopefully battle the other two gender teams next season. Not So Sticky returns all of the usual suspects that they’ve had over the years. Rags is back to throw, Paul Scinta is back to make acrobatic catches, and Zach Jenkins will continue to make people wonder why he doesn’t play on any other teams. NSS will always be a tough out, but this team is more about Huggie Bombs than touchdowns, and that’s okay. Goatsack is back and looking to build on the progress they made last season. Andy’s team is a close knit group that has fun no matter what. But of course, winning is more fun. Cobblestone is in D5 as Darryl Carr QB Superstar continues to chase that elusive title. You absolutely never know what you’re going to get with Darryl in terms of roster construction, but that’s because all he needs is that golden arm. And that hair. The Creekers tried D4 out last season and it went really poorly for them. That happens. What’s important to note is that they’re back, they dropped a division, and hopefully they’re right where they’re supposed to be in D5. I don’t quite know what to expect from them yet, other than Mullet Guy doing Mullet Guy stuff. 

Preseason Prediction: GUCCI defeats the BAADIES in a championship matchup of teams that use all capital letters for some reason. 

This Week’s Games:

BAADIES vs Not So Sticky (+8) - The biggest problem for NSS always seems to be that they don’t score enough. Well, the BAADIES score. A lot. And I don’t think NSS has the girl power to keep pace. BAADIES BY 16

Not So Sticky vs Creekers (+7) - If the Creekers are going to compete in D5, this is the perfect team to find that out against. NSS is a smart, crafty team. Again, scoring can be an issue, so if the Creekers make a few plays on defense, they’ll be in this one. NOT SO STICKY BY 5

Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+6) - CFB has been chugging right along, including playing in the wine tournament (duh), so they’re ready to go for this one. Spinelli’s may have some kinks to work out after a season off. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

GUCCI vs BAADIES (+6) - Another championship preview apparently,  but this will be a good one. Try to remember that GUCCI doesn’t have to worry about “keeping pace” by forcing a gender TD, since every TD they get is a gender score thanks to Kelly playing QB. This should be a good one, but the BAADIES will need some help figuring things out on defense in Week 1. GUCCI BY 8

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Cobblestone (+10) - We’ll have a heck of a QB Matchup here between Darryl Carr QB Superstar and Nick Hawes. Both teams can put up some points, so it’ll be up to the defenses to get a stop and decide this one. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 14

GUCCI vs Creekers (+10) - Not the best draw for the Creekers in the second half of a double header. They’ll do their best to keep up, but Kelly and Co will pull away. GUCCI BY 17

Come From Behind vs Cobblestone (+10) - Come From Behind is just too talented. Even though we’re getting an iconic QB matchup, CFB takes it. COME FROM BEHIND BY 16

D6: 

Odds To Win The Championship:

Two Tuddies (2-1)

Sausage McMuffins (4-1)

Blitzkrieg (6-1)

Just Get Open (6-1)

Mighty Drunks (8-1)

Balls Deep (10-1)

Pit Harade (15-1)

Back That Pass Up (30-1)

Preseason Hype: The Two Tuddies ran roughshod over the division last season, only to be upset in the championship. Truthfully, they should be moving up a division, but the way things fell allowed them to stay in D6 to chase the title that eluded them. The McMuffins are back and they were the feel good story for most of the season before the wheels kind of fell off. With a good season under their belts already, the McMuffins look to take the next step towards a title. Blitzkrieg comes into their fall season a different team. Not completely, of course. They still have Light Red Hoodie Guy and a host of talent, but as we’ve seen in the past, “Fall Blitzkrieg” doesn’t have Alex at QB due to his other commitments. That means we see a different look from a team that’s been around for a bit now. But are they better than Spring Blitzkrieg? We’re going to find out. Just Get Open is a new team run by John Klukowski of Practice Squad fame. There’s a lot of new faces on this team, although Brian Jennings is a long time QB in the Social Co-Ed Football world. They also have the OG TSL Bachelorette in Sarah Hunt. Not sure what to make of this team yet. The Mighty Drunks had a hell of a rise in the Spring, starting slow before becoming one of D6’s more dangerous teams to play against. Jill and Kenny are bringing the team back again with the hopes of continuing the success they had last year. They already spelled the team name right when they registered it seems, so things are looking up. Balls Deep was a very tough out last season, but they lost some players to Spinelli’s, so they’re retooling a bit. It’ll be interesting to see if they can continue to take a step forward or not because of it. Pit Harade returns after a tough season last year on the field, although they were great off of it at the bar as any team with Dave Walter will be. Some continuity at QB will help them immensely, as Dave took over late last season. They have fantastic girls in Ashley, Jen, and Rayanna too. Back That Pass Up returns after a rough season. Alex is looking to have some fun and make some changes to the squad that has the potential to be pretty good. 

Preseason Prediction: Two Tuddies beat Blitzkrieg in the finals to move up to D5 where they belong. 

This Week’s Games:

Sausage McMuffins vs Just Get Open (+6) - We’ll get to see very early this season if Just Get Open is a contender or needs some work. The McMuffins are a perfect opponent to see if they have what it takes OR to learn what they need to focus on for the rest of the season. The McMuffins and their great jerseys take this one. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 10

Two Tuddies vs Balls Deep (+8) - The Tud Buds should go undefeated this season, which of course means they won’t. They’re just a well rounded team that has played together for a minute now, and that gives them the advantage over the teams that are still working out their rosters. TWO TUDDIES BY 14

Mighty Drunks vs Just Get Open (+3) - This should be a sneaky good game. I’m really looking for the Mighty Drunks to take a step forward this season, but I feel like they need a week or two to get back into the swing of things. JUST GET OPEN BY 3

Sausage McMuffins vs Fall Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - The McMuffins will already have played a game, and then they’re going to have to run into Hoodie Weather. Eventually Blitzkrieg will prove me right. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 7

Mighty Drunks vs Pit Harade (+8) - The Drunks get Pit Harade on the back end of their doubleheader, which might be exactly what the doctor ordered. Pit Harade’s defense left a bit to be desired last season, which will be the catalyst in sparking the Drunks’ offense to getting back to where it was last year. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 13

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade (+10) - It’s hoodie season. I’m not sure who the BK QB is going to be. If I recall correctly, they’ve had a bit of a rotating door in the fall. If any of them click at the position though, it’ll be a long day for PH. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 11

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

• I’m new here. What is this article? What goes on here? Good question new person to the TSL. I’m the Godfather, and since the beginning of this league I’ve been writing a weekly predictions article and then some for the website. Life has taken me to Des Moines, Iowa where I live in a log cabin with my family. I keep up with the football league I love as best I can, and I need as many of YOU as possible to give me good info and tell me who’s playing well. Again, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. is where you have to email me now! During the season, we’ll also release a weekly podcast about the league ANYONE can be on, and there will be a QB Power Rankings article as well. I’m not sure if the Sentinel is making a return just yet. I haven’t messaged them. 

• …What's with that logo? Sadly, Topper requested that the new regime get a new logo for the tsl716.com website we’re moving to. Jeff told me they had a few options for a logo, and this one is currently “temporary” but could end up being the winner. At this point, if you want to make a logo, do so. We’ll have a league vote on what the new logo should be. Let’s see what you can come up with! (Hint: Use the Topper Silhouette that he claims isn’t him but it totally is.)

• Speaking of Topper, what’s his deal? Well, I think we might get lucky and see more of him at the fields as he had successful shoulder surgery and he’s getting ready for his glorious return to the gridiron. 

• Did I read the Facebook correctly? Are we getting bar specials? It is my understanding that there will be weekly specials that the bar will be giving us. This week it's $4 Tequila shots, a Taco Flight, $5 off all Corona buckets and when you buy a bucket you get entered in a drawing of some sort, etc. It’ll be fun for you guys!

• Did anything else change we need to know about? Let’s see. $30 ref fees. New website. Logo contest thing perhaps. Bar specials. Oh, and don’t forget that they changed the playoff sub rules to just “you don’t get any subs”. So if Jimmy gets stuck going to Montana for work and you don’t have a replacement for him on your roster, that’s on you. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

• I think D2 is going to be electric this season, and I’m excited to see what happens. 

• Things are shaping up (according to my Weather Channel app) to be a pretty nice day for you guys out in Buffalo. Perfect Week 1 weather ahead. 

• Games Of The Week: 

• 10:00 - Scared Hitless vs THREAD

• 11:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Losing Streak

• 12:00 - Fall Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins

• 1:00 - Mavericks vs Untouchaballs

• 2:00 - Keller Whales vs Let’s Get Reccked

• 3:00 - Cobblestone vs Come From Behind

• It seems we only had enough people for 4 (probably 5 but nobody wants a bye every week) Breakfast Club teams. That’s a little disheartening because you new people don’t know what you’re missing out on! 

• I know that you’re getting used to running to Jeff Krol with all of your problems now, but be very aware that with the whole “new baby” thing going on in his life, he’s not going to be at the fields very late all of the time and you’ll have to find someone else to discuss your issues with. At least that’s what he says. 

• I really think Father Baker is going to be very, very good. 

• How cool is it that we’re getting a lot of long-time TSLers back to play again this season? 

• If you want to be on the podcast, just ask Becca, Jeff, or Joe K and they’ll get you on. I know they have issues getting guests some weeks, so the more the merrier. 

• It’s Week 1. There will be new refs. Don’t lose your mind on them if they make a mistake. Talk it out. Don’t get booted from the league on the first day. You know who you are. 

• No word yet on if B’s Brother is going to be at the fields this weekend. We can only hope he chooses to grace us with his presence. 

That just about does it for me here. Welcome back TSLers. Have fun out there. 

-GF OUT