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Who Is The Godfather??

Category: the mentalist
Created: Sunday, 07 October 2018 20:35
Published: Sunday, 07 October 2018 20:35
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 350


I am sorry for the delay as I have been on the “Hunt for Red October”. I decided to see if the greatest wives tale of all time was fact or fiction. Topper Sports League has told us since 2011 that it’s lead writer a man known only as “The Godfather” is a free lance writer from Des Moines Iowa. They have challenged reality and more importantly the intelligence of each and every one of us. So who is this guy? Is he actually a guy in the first place or is this writer so good that the Godfather article is being written by a woman. I decided for the last 2 weeks to begin an investigation and enclosed are my findings:

Boccio: 5-1: We don’t really know much about Boccio but we do know that he just kind of “showed up” one day. There are those that claimed he had no where else to go but I think he strategically placed himself in every early TSL storyline on purpose.  He has been here since 2011 so it is possible he could be the writer. He also is “connected” to a Bernal. I am hearing no one is allowed to say “dating” but “connected to” is allowable. If Boccio is the Godfather, aligning himself with a Bernal would make him privy to TSL gossip and a ton of TSL storylines. He also plays on Public Enemy so he is “in” with Chris Cole, Tommy Hughes and one of the TSL brain trust in Lenny Alba. I also find it very suspicious that Boccio has been “out of the limelight” the past few seasons. Could he actually be in the “limelight” as TSL’s article writer?

Rameer 8-1: This idea makes a ton of sense. Rameer went to Syracuse which means he has been trained to write an article as one person when actually he is another. Rameer would have the skill set to pretend he writes the article like a “13 year old girl with sentence structure and punctuation problems.” He has been around forever and he is even the TSL Director of Officiating and is in the TSL “circle of trust” so he knows about TSL decisions before anyone does. Does anyone really believe Rameer when he “pretends” to be all bent out of shape when he says he Is not the “Godfather.” It just seems too convenient to me. Let us not forget that there was a TSL Face Book drawing a few seasons ago that “claimed” Rameer was in fact the Godfather so I do not know what to believe anymore.

Joe K 10-1: Joe K just showed up one day literally out of no where. I have a theory that Topper and Lenny took turns writing the GF article then they ran out of gas. Joe K appears then he gets 37 titles, he is on the podcast and like 12 hours later he is one of the most well known people in Topper Sports League. Joe K is on Bullett Club and BI Polar Express so he has a pipe line to all divisions.

Dave Baker 25-1: OK hear me out. The GF article has not been as thorough this season as in year’s past. When Dave Baker was on like 5 teams the article was really good as Dave Baker was on so many teams he had his ear to the pavement and could report on so may storylines. 2 weeks ago he cornered one of the TSL brain trust and accused Lenny of being the GF. This right there seems like an elaborate plan to take pressure off himself. Dave Baker was not at football this week I bet this week’s GF article is very lame and lacks detail as Baker was not in attendance. Let’s see if I am right.

Lenny 100-1: The person you usually think it is never is the right choice. Let us not forget that Lenny was not at football for like 4 weeks last season but the GF article still was submitted on time and under budget. Also, right now it appears Lenny is writing his own article called “The view from the Top”. I mean what kind of lunatic would start writing his own article then start a weekly fight with his alter ego in an attempt to once again “get over” on the TSL Universe? That theory makes literally no sense.

Joey Batts 200-1: No human being could love another as much as the GF loves Joey Batts. This obviously is not true because Joey Batt loves Joey Batts that much. If 2+2=4 then Joey Bats must be the Godfather. The Godfather writes just how Joey Batts talks so this theory could make sense.


Emily Curry 500-1: This one makes so little sense that it makes perfect sense. Emily had the sub list named after her. Some would claim no one was more angry than Emily at the new sub revisions. I maintain she didn’t get mad because she could sub less but this made it more difficult for her to write the Gf article When she subbed on 8 teams Emily could find out about all the comings and going in all (6) divisions.


I am in a “list” kind of mod today so here are my top (5) jerseys in the TSL.

5.Sticky Bandits: I know you are thinking how did they crack the top 5? It wasn’t just their jerseys that got them here it was the “ascot” accent wear a few of them have been rocking that got them here. Any team that rocks ascots is on my Top 5 list.

4. Witter’s: I kind of like what they are doing. Is this 4th of July wear or are they going to a Grateful Dead show? Or are they going to a Grateful dead show on the 4th of July.

3. #XTC: It’s like their jerseys are saying “we don’t care and we are too kool to care so we have been playing for like 15 seasons and are so kool we don’t need jerseys.”  Only people as kool and style savvy as Stegmeier and Joe Russell could pull this move off. It does beg the question, if Katie Keller tells Stegs she isn’t playing on #XTC without new jerseys next session will he oblige?

2. Cobblestone: How can you not like the purple jerseys with Darryl Carr on the front having a “tremendous hair day?” Then again Darryl Carr has a tremendous hair day every day,

1. Ultimate Warriors: Nice black jerseys with nice retro type accents. It’s too bad the jerseys don’t come with arm tassels and Ultimate Warrior face paint.


Until next week may the odds forever be in your favor and don’t forget, I’ll will be watching 

week 2 review

Category: the mentalist
Created: Thursday, 20 September 2018 14:11
Published: Thursday, 20 September 2018 14:11
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 366



            Another week of glory made and perhaps glory lost. Many left their blood, sweat and tears on the field(s). Scratch that, mostly sweat…LOTS and lots of sweat. Is it just me or was the temperature difference between week 1 and week 2 as bipolar as our new friends in D6 known as Bipolar Express? For a new team still trying to find their MOJO they looked okay but unfortunately could not out score an AJ Forster led CSR team. Weird, I know. But luckily for the ladies of B.E. it appeared Gronk, during the height of the #MeToo movement, decided it was safest to keep his hands to himself and we should all thank sweet 8lb 6oz newborn baby Jesus for that. And if anyone is looking for something else to be thankful for come November 22, 2018 we’ve got you covered. First, we will not require security at the next B.E. matchup as Gordon kept his cool and expressed his frustrations in a healthy way and quickly changed out of his happy face t-shirt and into his angry face t-shirt before 2 minutes of game time had even been expended. Second, someone convinced management that it’s a better idea to spin the Topper Wheel of Hope at 3pm instead of at 2pm so if you don’t know, now you know.  Third, the legendary Daryll of Cobblestone was present to win this past week’s $100 gift certificate and laughed all the way to the bank bar right in former team mate Garret’s face. Poor Garrett. Finally, a shorthanded TEIM had no choice but to utilize their QB Alex on defense and ended up with a far different outcome than last week’s matchup against Eyes Downtown which further begs the question, has Dave Baker been suffering nightmares ever since because Alex is better on D than say…others. We wont name, names.

            Now that we’ve given proper thanks we must talk about the stranger things that happened Saturday. I know everyone must be wondering, what the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on with Angry Buffalo? Word on the streets is people are not only being picked off and kicked off but walking off. Did we learn nothing from the rise and fall of the Tommy Hughes Experience? This must be contained, and fast, if they wish to once again be the team we know and love. Seriously, check the waiver wire for both Mo Saleh and Dave Wilbern, draft them, and immediately form a secret alliance and tell Mo that Dave Wilbern is better than him and vice versa so the two will subconsciously go no holds barred on the field hoping to come out on top all whilst helping a struggling Angry Buffalo. I believe that’s what we call turning one’s weakness into one’s strength. Another walking disaster that was turning heads Saturday was the fall of Joey Batt’s who went 0-2 for the day. Has anyone checked on Burr? I hear he had an epic meltdown after being beat by Topper. There is only one explanation for this and that is that Uncle Topper must have taken a personal day and didn’t show up to the fields. Although, another explanation I hear might be hemorrhoids because apparently Joey has been suffering in silence since the spring season. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? If you’re thinking, we need to start another GoFundMe page, this time for a lifetime supply of Preparation H and MiraLAX for our first ever potential back to back TSL MVP, then you are correct! We’re here for you Joey and we’re sorry you’re so constipated. In conclusion we need to talk about the strange superstition that is “bad luck comes in threes”. Apparently, not one, not two, but three people have broken a pinky so badly they require surgery. If this superstition is in fact true, then the rest of us godforsaken people are safe, but I’d still like to invite you all to join me in a moment of silence in remembrance of all those pinkies we’ve lost this season.                   , Amen. As always, keep it up TSL and may the odds be ever in your favor on your race to football immortality and don’t forget, I’ll be watching.

Week 1 Review

Category: the mentalist
Created: Tuesday, 11 September 2018 20:21
Published: Tuesday, 11 September 2018 20:21
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 550

Another fall football season is upon us and so too was our first taste of fall weather which for some means high tailing it to the bar for their first jack fire shot (ahem, I mean first ten jack fire shots) and for others it means to their local Starbucks for their first PSL. Unfortunately, if you’re the latter, you suck because PSL’S are about as sad as our friends known as pAssless Chaps. Seriously, can any two things suck more? pAssless Chaps please do me a favor and attend Coach Bird’s skills camp and shock the world because you are one of the nicest teams in the league and you deserve to win. Furthermore, pAssless Chaps, someone owes you an apology for being the poorest of sports and that person goes by the nickname “Gronk” from CSR. “Gronk”, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that there is absolutely NO reason you need to be rushing and subsequently lay out the QB on a team losing 47-14 with only minutes left in the 2nd half. “Gronk” this is the same team who have won a combined 3 games since entering the league, allegedly, so the first rain cloud sticker of the season goes to you and your emotional intelligence of a caveman.

 Unfortunately, the apology train doesn’t stop there. TEIM owes everyone an apology for forcing us to watch over and over Ben Stack fail to cover grey headband guy from Eyes Downtown and I’m not taking about Bobby’s bandana which I wonder if someone pulled that off would his head pop off like if you pulled that little white string on the back of a baby doll’s head as a kid? I mean what a nightmare that would be…or would it be a dream? Hm, I wonder. TEIM, you have so much talent on your roster so for the love of God, do better. Last apology of the day needs to come from Michael Corben aka Garbacz for making one of the worst calls as a ref, make that two calls, that I’ve ever seen and to be honest I don’t even know the rules. These potentially changed the outcome of the game and one call even has photographic evidence proving that our friend M.C. needed to call his local optometrist like yesterday and get his eyes checked. Maybe we can start a GoFundMe page and buy him Lasik eye surgery and save us all the trouble. I’m suspecting a potential secret alliance between Bobby’s Bandana, I mean Eyes Downtown, and M.C. I have three words for you M.C.; Rain. Cloud. Mothertruckin’. Sticker. Okay so that was 4 words, get over it. Luckily for everyone better times were ahead, and the theme was none other than wheels. People were spinning wheels, 40-year plan guy is about to wheel Molly Morgan for 18 holes of mini golf, and a new girl on crack emerged and blessed us all with an interpretive dance on and around her car’s wheels like she’s the next Stormy Daniels. It was AMAZING.

If you didn’t know or weren’t present at the bar at 2pm for some reason other than having a scheduled game well, you missed out on the inaugural spin of Toppers Wheel of Hope. Unfortunately, it took 6 spins for a team to be present at the bar and that team was 3rd and Schlong. They collected their prize, a $100 Angry Buffalo gift certificate, and then what did they do? What they always do. Bought some drinks and made their way over to their secret society meeting next to field 5. I mean WHAT DO THEY DO OVER THERE? The world may never know. But, Scott Keller did grace us with the first spin of the TSL wheel of wealth or disaster. This is where fate truly stepped in and saved 40-year plan guy from potentially having to go through with his 40-year plan with Katie Keller. Seriously, K.K., have you never talked to him? If you haven’t, you should because he is so nice and has a really cute dog. You snooze, you lose K.K. Anyway, he’s on his way to 18 holes of mini golf with Molly Morgan and we all know how that will end. With ice cream. Get your heads out of the gutter people. Plus, finally were going to get a conclusion to all this mini golf talk that has been going on since the bachelorette, what ever happened to that girl anyway? Make sure you’re at the bar next Saturday at 2pm for your chance to win and my sources tell me that there will be opportunities not only for another $100 gift certificate but for everyone present at the bar to win a shot. Now this is about the time that I started to black out so sue me but it was an amazing first week nonetheless. Keep it up TSL and may the odds be ever in your favor on your race to football immortality and don’t forget, I’ll be watching.

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