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So an associate of mine had dinner with some friends last weekend and the question was asked of my true identity. My associate made sure to keep me anonymous but it got those folks and many of you to thinking who exactly am I? Well I can't tell you but what I can do is throw out some ideas on my true identity. To be honest I am a man that lives in Des Monies Iowa. I am given football reports that are sent to me via fax every Sunday. I have been to Buffalo 5x and have walked amongst you twice. I will never reveal my true identity but if we must go through this exercise here are some ideas on who I might actually be:

Topper 3-1: OK TSL is a 2 headed monster. One of them is crazy and you can hear him coming from a mile away. The other is very calm and very to himself. It's always the quiet ones. I mean Topper is always there, he's always at the bar, he's always at TSL functions. He has a fax machine. He has a profound love for B's Brother. He claims he doesn't listen to his own podcasts which literally makes no sense. Does it make so little sense that it makes perfect sense?   He knows most of you. It would make sense....or not make sense.  I am confused.

Joe K: 5-1:: Joe K came from obscurity and is now one of the most easily recognizable people in the game today. I mean could a 10 season plan have been in place to have Joe K start on Sweet and Sour in obscurity and be super quiet as he wrote articles and got to know each and every one of you. Then when the moment presented itself re-package his character and shine the spotlight on him? It would be a perfect plan. He has like 47 job titles but does he have 48 but the last title is anonymous? Does any one even know where Joe K came from? It's like the TSL just planted him there and he appeared one day.......hmmmmm

Matty Ice 7-1: Everyone who knows Matty knows he loves comics and stuff. Could this be his Oliver Queen moment? To those of you that don't know, Oliver Queen is a playboy bazillionaire during the day then Green Arrow at night. Could Matty Ice be QB on the field rock star off it during the day and God Father at night? That's a great question.

Stegemeir 10-1: Something seemed off last week as I heard Stegemeier showed up at football with a limp. Why would some one be injured but show up at football any ways? Why wouldn't some one just stay home? Then it dawned on me. If Stegemeir was the GF he would have wanted to show up so he could watch games and get the vibe in the room so he could write his article. It makes sense. Stegemeir has been around since day #1. He flies under the radar. Plus it would so be a Stegemier thing to do. 

DJ Jimmy 15-1: This is the wild card. DJ Jimmy is every where. He does podcasts even though he doesn't always see the games. Could he be the secret connection to all of this? DJ Jimmy and the TSL just happened to come together one day but was it an accident or was it done on purpose? Is DJ Jimmy so brilliant that he had us all believe that his first love is 5 Star but it all is a front when he actually is the Godfather?

Let's pick some games......

DIVISION #1

RACKS AND SACKS +3 VS NEW GODS: RAS gave Public Enemy quite the scare last week. They looked solid on both sides of the ball. New Gods beat #XTC in week #1 but they beat the JV squad this should be a better test for them. NG have alot of skill but they will need to be alot smarter on offense this week. Its easy throwing lollipops against safeties that can't run but Radon, Travis and Franco will close alot quicker than #XTC did in week #1. Ricky might need to dial it back and go more 8-12 yard routes in this one. Radon threw a decent deep ball himself last week but was flat on the intermediate routes. I think the QB that makes better intermediate throws should take this one late.  NEW GODS BY 4

PUBLIC ENEMY +13 VS EYES DOWTOWN: This usually is the game every one waits for but alas this game will not be good. Rumors swirl Chris Cole is MIA this week so Tommy Hughes will be playing QB. PE will struggle to score on a team that pretty much is the class of D1. ED will score their points and their defense should have a relatively easy day as Hughes is no Cole not even close. Look for Eyes Downtown to take this game early and the route will be on.   EYES DOWNTOWN BY 14

BOMBERS +7 VS #XTC: #XTC is not having a very good season. They are struggling to score and they are struggling even more to stop teams on defense. The good news is they all still have their health. Don't believe that Stegemier is hurt I maintain it is all an elaborate ploy not to play anymore because he thinks he is washed up. I have no clue who is on Bombers or what they can or will do. I think Glowacki is playing with them. Glowacki really isn't so good but it would be really funny if he played this week and made it rain in a big Bombers win. I mean that could happen right? Right?  #XTC BY 8

CHAD STUFF +13 VS MARKETING MAYORS: MM is really good CS is not so good. Well the league tried to call CS and get them a QB to help make the pain go away but they have yet to answer our VM. MM will score early and often. Bloomfield is really good but as good as he is he can not carry an entire team on his shoulders. MM will have the edge all over the field and they are the one team that actually can jump into the sky when Bloomfield goes astronaut on everyone. It wont matter though. Chad Stuff please call us we cant help you if you don't call us back.   MARKETING MAYORS BY 14

DIVISION  #2

ANGRY BUFFALO VS WITTERS +11:  Angry Buffalo is the class of D2. They did not fare very well last week against a very solid TEIM but they once again came away with the W. Witters are off to a 0-2 start. They are a solid team but I fear they won't have the horses in this one. Nick Sooch is a wizard at breaking zones down and taking what he is given. Witter's does not have the tightest zone out there so I fear AB will get alot of 8-12 yard routes in this one. Witters will bring the fight but I fear their defense just won't hold. ANGRY BUFFALO BY 10

BLITZKRIEG +9 VS GRAY AND ASSOCIATES: GNA hit the ground running last week in a big win. Blitzkrieg looked awful in week #1 but looked vastly improved in week #2. I see this game starting out fairly tight but the vet savvy on    the GNA sideline should take over after a while with GNA pulling away late. Blitkrieg have some play makers and some speed to account for but the guys on the other side line know this game better than almost anyone.  GRAY AND ASSOCIATES BY 8

TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION VS THE REPLACEMENTS +7: TEIM was fierce on D last week and gave Angry Buffalo all they could handle and more. TR had an up and down week #1 and was on holiday week #2. They have 2 speedsters that TEIM will have to worry about at all times. TR will bring some match up headaches but everything will fall on the right arm of their QB. If he is on TR will give TEIM all they can handle if he is off this one could get away quick. TEIM are a very smart very solid very methodical team that should just churn out yards and make enough plays to carry by days end. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 8

DIVISION #3

COBBLESTONE +11 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY: This is usually one of the most heated rivalries in the game but Cobblestone has lost their luster. They are struggling and curse my tongue but it might be time to drop down to D4. I can't believe I am about to say this but Topper looks really solid on offense right now. He is making solid throws as his weapons are vast and very talented. His girls look light years better than in years past. Team Topper still needs to clean up the defense. If it was me I'd move the zone up 4 or so yards and force Darryl to beat them long that is the only shot he has. If Topper continues to deal on offense this game has blow out written all over it. Darryl literally must play like his magical hair is on fire to have any chance in this one. 1 TOPPER TOO MANY BY 13

PRIME TIME PLAYERS +6 VS BULLET CLUB: BC is back and the soap opera hopefully will be with them. PTP won last week that's the good news the bad news is they still have holes all over the field. They have tremendous balance but something just seems to be missing. BC has a very solid QB, Chad Griffin and a cast of girls that are all very good. PTP meet JJ Bullet Club meet Katie Salisbury. Oh this lady battle will be magical. PTP will give BC a fight but I just don't see anyone on the PTP side of the field that can run with Griifin.  BULLET CLUB BY 7

A&A VS MICKEY RATS +3: A&A took their first loss in a very long time. I am curious to see how they react this week. Mickey Rats is a roller coaster as you really never know who which team shows up. The good Rats can score 40 on anyone in this league the bad Rats will score 20. A&A v Mickey Rats could be a good one if the good Rats squad show up. I expect a back and forth slug fest in this one. By days end will know if A&A is either a top tier or lower tier D3 team. They should win this game by 6-7 points anything less would be a  concern..... A&A BY 6

STICKY BANDITS +8 VS GRYFFINDOR:  The Joey Batts MVP Tour continues on this week Sticky Bandits are up next . Joey Batts is in a different stratosphere than everyone else. He is making it rain at QB as he scores points at will. Sticky is a decent squad with solid players all over the field but can all 6 starters match the skill of Joey Batts? I didn't think so either. SB will come to town and will play smart and methodical . They must weather the early storm and hope the QB does not go off on them. Problem is Joey Batts is trying for the trifecta of MVP's right now and he knows better than anyone that he must once again put on a show for the ages GRYFFINDOR BY 7

DIVISION #4

SHREDDERS VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +3: I was expecting Shredders to crush AARP last week but they didn't. Their offense still looks very solid but their defense did not look as top shelf as in years past. IE is a tough team to figure out,. They will not kill you on offense but they are always in their games as they are a very smart very balanced team. I am very curious to see how IE does now that their team should be at 100% this week. Shredders look good but they didn't look great which should be a sigh of relief for D4 as a handful of teams could be in line for the hardware come week #11.  SHREDDERS BY 4

 THE BAMBS +1 VS HK4: HK4 looks like they have returned from the dead and right now they are the class of D4 as they are crushing folks on offense. Last week they scored 41 points and looked like an offensive juggernaut on a very very solid SAFTG.  The Bambs will be a tough test as they are battled tested, have a very solid QB and they are as balanced as they come. They have size, they have speed and they have decent girls. I think this game will be close though HK4 just looks dialed in right now.  HK4 BY 3

RYAN PUCKETT MEMORIAL ALL STARS VS SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE GIRLS +3: Seriously what is up with both of you? If either of you think I am going to type those names over and over you are both kidding yourselves. Ever hear of calling yourselves the Bears or the Jets. Jeesh 11 words between 2 teams I mean c'mon man WTF this isn't in my contract Topper no where does it say I have to write a 500 word essay because these two squads can't call themselves something simple like Tigers and Lions. Who wins this game ? Who cares I am not picking a winner because both names are too long. If you don't like it Topper I am going on strike.   

AARP VS NO PUNT INTENDED +4: NPI is 0-1 but they didn't look half bad in their first game. They scored 30 and that's a plus. AARP is in an interesting position this week. They are getting to the point where they are becoming a team that needs to beat teams like this but will they? AARP is battle tested and really seemed to take the next step last session but they must find a way to take this game so they do not regress. I expect a very close back and forth battle that could go down to the wire.  AARP BY 1

3RD AND SCHLONG +7 VS SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE GIRLS: 3rd and Schlong had their Super Bowl last week when they totally dismantled Hometech. SAFTG thought they had to just show up and they could win the D4 title but now they know they have work to do. I fear Team Keller might be a bit over matched this week as SAFTG are a very balanced team that have solid size and speed 3rd and Schlong will need to account for. Now I am not one to talk so you didn't hear this from me but if I was wearing a SAFTG jersey in no way shape or form would I direct my passes at Kevin Keller because he is a stand out player who is solid on defense. He is the guy in the "stud" jersey that will be sweating bullets if he is on defense hoping nay praying nay looking into the heavens above and looking out at the stars asking God "God this is your good friend Kevin Keller you know I struggle on defense so does the Godfather and every TSLer with 2 eyes. Please oh please do let SAFTG throw on me.  Because if they do Jr will make fun of me all day and that will make me sad."  But I am not one to talk so you didn't hear that from me.....SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE GIRLS BY 8

RYAN PUCKETT MEMORIAL ALL STARS VS HOMETECH +30: Hometech could not have had a worse week than they did last week as they had their wills to live stolen by 3rd and Schlong. That of course is the bad news the good news is rumors are swirling that B's Brother will be in this weeks line up. If this is the case Hometech instantly becomes the D4 favorite, my favoritest team of all time and every thing I ever said about them is rescinded as I now love them. Don't tease us Hometech B's Brother better be in this weeks line up or I will be writing a massive letter and sending it to you and you wont be happy. As for the game Hometech is totally screwed but the good news is they have B's Brother now so nothing else matters. RYAN PUCKETT MEMORIAL ALL STARS BY 34

DIVISION #5

UNCLE RICO'S TIME TRAVELERS VS ACE +1: ACE has looked very impressive to date as they stand at 1-1 but gave CFB a game last week. Uncle Rico looked very bad in week #1 but was awesome in week #2. These two teams should match up well. Uncle Rico should have the size advantage but ACE has the speed advantage. Ronny K is the key like he is most weeks. If he is hot ACE should roll but if he is not ACE could be staring 1-2 in the face by days end.  UNCLE RICO'S TIME TRAVELERS BY 4

HOPE N RUIN +8 VS MADISON LEE'S: Madison Lee's are looking very solid these days especially on offense. while HNR isn't exactly lighting the score board up. HNR is a notoriously slow starter its kind of their thing. ML are a very solid very deep team that have weapons all over the field. The key to any gender game is the 5th WR of the gender team VS the 2nd girl of the opposing defense this is where most gender teams make their money. I am very interested to see how ML do against a pretty stout defense. This game could be a good one as HNR will bring some interesting match up headaches. MADISON LEE'S BY 7

SHAKE N BAKE STAMPEDE +10 VS ALL WE DO IS QWINN: AWDIQ got a huge win over Matty's Angels last week . They have speed to burn and could easily be the D5 dark horse right now. SNB is having another ho hum season. They are once again struggling to score points and they are struggling on defense giving up more than 30 a game. I expect Qwinn to come up and use their speed to their advantage hitting quick slants and easy fly routes on a secondary that is ready to give up big chunks of yards. AWDIQ should take this one rather easily. ALL WE DO IS QWINN BY 9

3RD AND SCHLONG +9 VS THE BAMBS: 3rd and Schlong won their Super Bowl last week and all is good for them. The Bambs reluctantly have moved up to D4. They don't like D4 they want tog o back down to D5 but Topper wont let them. TB have size they have speed and they have a very good QB. I fear 3rd and Schlong will still be on the high of beating their bitter rival and might not be able to focus on the team coming to town this week. The Bambs will bring some speed and size headaches that 3rd and Schlong haven't seen yet in D4. THE BAMBS BY 10

BACK THAT PASS UP +8 VS HUNG BUFFALO: BTPU is the quietest 2-1 team in the game right now. Matter of fact I just looked at the standings and was shocked they were 2-1. Hung Buffalo is a vet savvy battle tested crew but they can be up and down. They can be beat by speedy teams. BTPU will need to bring it this week as HB wants to make a statement and get back tot he top of the standings. I think BTPU will get some gains on offense but HB usually covers with a solid QB, a decent supporting cast and some girls that can flat out go.  HUNG BUFFALO BY 6

PASSLESS CHAPS +7 VS COME FROM BEHIND:    CFB is looking good right now as they sit at 2-1. They have size, they have vet savvy they have a QB that can throw gas and they have a franchise girl player.  Passless Chaps have had some high and low moments to date. I think they will need more time to find their way in this league. CFB should pretty much control this game from the get go with their ability to make smart solid gains on offense and should do enough on defense to win this game and climb one more step up the ladder. CFB could surprise some teams when the bullets start flying for real in week #10. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

DIVISION #6

THE MCKENZIE AGENCY +6 VS UFO: TMA is struggling and rumors are swirling Brent will not be in attendance this week. TMA literally has no TV value with Brent not in the line up. I hope he enjoys his s'mores this weekend. UFO looked solid in week #1 but ran into the offensive juggernaut known as SSS. UFO could be 3-1 for the first time in like forever this week if they play their cards right. They need to stay on top of a team that is ready to collapse like a house of cards.   UFO BY 7

COLLEGIATE SOLAR +8 VS SANTA'S SECRET SAUCE: When the Prophet the Most Honorable Dave Walter speaks ye shall listen. I have been told (via fax) that SSS will debut their new QB this week and the hope is global thermal nuclear war on all those that oppose them. SSS has been dying for a QB they need him they must have him. CS won last week and things are good. I also heard rumors crack girl was in attendance. I hate to rain on their parade but SSS will score early and often as SSS will now stake their claim for they believe is rightfully theirs.  That of course is the D6 title. SANTA'S SECRET SAUCE BY 10

UFO VS THE TAMMY'S +7: The Tammy;s are struggling and when The Tammy's are struggling TSL is not a better place. They just can't seem to score on offense. UFO is off to a decent 1-1 start and has a very solid shot at begin 3-1 by days end. They will need to stay smart and methodical and not do anything wild or crazy. Two very winnable games are set this week all UFO has to do is go out there and play solid smart football and they should quickly climb up the D6 ladder. The Tammy's need to cure their offensive woes as they must find a way to score more points,. UFO BY 6

THE MCKENZIE AGENCY +10 VS THE TOMMY HUGHES EXPERIENCE: TMA is struggling right now as they will be missing their and our inspirational leader. THE is not struggling but this week they probably will have to play a game with both Tommy and Gordon in the line up. TMA is struggling on defense while THE has Hearn and Hearn is good at beating up on defenses. THE has a big girl edge this week. TMA needs to make a stand at one point or this season will get out of hand very quickly. They must find a way to win a game or they could end up 0-9. I.m farily certain THE will score early and often on a very giving secondary. Christmas might be coming early for the THE offense.  THE TOMMY HUGHES EXPERIENCE BY 13

WEEK #1 MVP'S 

#5: COLLEGIATE SOLAR: Holy smokes it is only week #2 but Solar won a game. I am hearing rumors one of our female favorite players was also in attendance. Solar beat The Practice Squad 25-21 and is not 0 for . They are now not the worst team in TSL. Yay Solar!!! 

#4: THE PROPHET THE MOST HONORABLE DAVE WALTER: Made his glorious return and helped SSS beat The McKenize Agency 48-38. Apparently the prophet did climb the mountain high and he found his QB.  Football is just more fun when Dave Walter is in attendance. 

#3: JOEY FREAKING BATTS: Has his eyes on D2, D3 and over all MVP. Literally "made it rain out there" in a big 46-44 win over Team Topper which culminated with a last second TD to his brother Anthony. Yes Anthony caught the ball but it was 100% throw and 0% catch.  Joey Batts is wicked dialed in right now and might be the best QB in the entire league not just D3. I maintain before this season ends that he will be the first QB in league history to figure out a way to throw passes to himself.

#2: JAMES TIBERIUS HEARN/SUPER SARAH: TOMMY HUGHES EXPERIENCE: Hearn came to play as he re-enacted his inner Wes Welker as he ran all over an unsuspecting UFO defense in route to a huge 46-26 victory. Sarah had a great day too as she scored  a TD and  played great on offense. I am also proud to report she did not lose her cell phone or have it stolen this week.  

#1: 3RD AND SCHLONG: 3rd and Schlong is not going to win the D4 title but their Super Bowl was Saturday as they faced their bitter rival Hometech and crushed them 32-8. Later that night 3RD and Schlong literally closed the Rose Garden as they were on fire. They called their shot and beat Hometech just like they said they would. Mic drop........

WEEK #1 LVP'S

#5: DARRYL CARR QB SUPERSTAR: Yes you are an icon. Yes you are a legend. Yes you usually accomplish more in 3 games than most mere mortals do in 3 seasons but you can't drop a line to Jimmy Breur at 952 AM saying you won't be there for a 10 am game.  You owe Beesing an apology and a Cookiepuss.

#4: MATTY ICE: No it wasn't anything he did off the field as kid is flat out rock star but for the first time in what seems like forever Matty Ice lost 2 games, had to reschedule his ladies game and lost a bet to Drew from the dreaded Team Topper.

#3: SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE GIRLS: Looked so good in week #1 and many were saying they could be the D4 favorite then BOOM HK4 comes to town and lays the smaecketh downeth on them 41-19. Not good...not good at all.

#2: A CERTAIN QB WHO WEARS AN ORANGE JERSEY: Dude it's time to take a step back and slow things down a little bit...don't ya think?????

#1: HOMETECH: 3rd and Schlong came up an entire division for one reason and one reason only. They wanted to dismantle you guys and take your will to live. 50 minutes later they beat you 32-8 in one of the biggest games of the year. 8 points? You scored 8 points......

5 QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

1. Is Stegemeier hurt or is this all an elaborate plan that was set into motion 4 months ago? He even had the limp down pat. I for one think the TSL medical staff should investigate as shenanigans are upon us. 

2.  Will UFO be 3-1 by days end? They have (2) very winnable games on this week's schedule. UFO has struggled for a few seasons now but there is no more important week than this week for them. 

3. Is the McKenzie Agency about to implode? I say yes but one of their players says no. They have struggled on both sides of the ball. Brent is now away on a magical camping trip. They must face the red hot Tommy Hughes Experience. This could be the week they unravel and collapse like a house of cards. 

4. OK the rumors can't be true. Is B's Brother about to start in his first official football game this week? I am hearing rumors he will be in the Hometech line up. B's Brother played a couple of times. Come to think of it remember that one time B's Brother was supposed to catch a TD but Tammy cut him off caught the ball and ran in for a TD and vultured him. That was awesome....unless you were B's Brother. It was not awesome for him that day. BTW if B's Brother does play in  this game Hometech instantly becomes my favorite team of all time!!!!!

5. So who is on the Bombers and what will they do in D1? Now that Bloomfield has headed for Chad Stuff will this team just go quietly into that good night or will they bring the fight? 

10 final thoughts before game day

1. The game I have my eye on this week is in D1 when Racks and Sacks has at it with New Gods. When the season started I thought  D1 would  be a 3 horse race between Eyes Downtown, Public Enemy and Marketing Mayors. I am very curious to see if either of these teams are poised to break out and take the next step. New Gods beat a patsie in week #1 and RAS tied a team that was covered in rust last week. This is the week I am curious to see what each team brings to the table.  By games end we will know if D1 will be a 3 horse race or if a few more horses will be heading for the starting gate. 

2.  I am excited to see how HK4 vs The Bambs unfolds. The Bambs are the definition of balance as they have all the boxes checked. HK4 seems to have come from no where as they have dismantled their first few tests. This game should be a good one as these two teams might be seeing each other again real soon. 

3.  TEIM vs The Replacements should be a barn burner as each team has stars all over the field. This game will absolutely come down to the QB position. Whichever QB comes to play will take this one. TR have 2 burners while TEIM is a solid methodical bunch that just play good football. This game should be a good one. 

4.  Hope N Ruin finds themselves in an early season 0-2 hole and the schedule is doing them no favors as a hot Madison Lee's is up next. Only 8 teams make the playoffs so if HNR goes 0-3 they will have a ton of work to do. Their strength is their D but that D will be put to the test this week. 

5.  I was expecting Shredders to crush D4 but that wasn't the case last week. An injury free Indecent Exposure finally gets their team back this week. I am curious to see how this game unfolds. IE is a solid methodical bunch that usually is always in all games that they play. 

6.  I keep hearing all this pub and that the new SSS QB can go. I am curious to see if he is as good as advertised. If so SSS could enter the conversation and could finally be in the hunt for a D6 title. The prophet the most honorable Dave Walter is usually spot on when he proclaims something so I cant wait to see who they bring this week. 

7. A&A took their first loss last week and a very up and down Mickey Rats is up next. Is A&A a top tier D3 team or are tough times ahead? This will be a good week to see what they are made of. MR are an up and down roller coaster. Some weeks they are as good as it gets in D3 then other weeks they are really bad. You just never know what to expect. 

8. Cobblestone is struggling and things look bleak. They cant score and they aren't playing good defense. Team Topper awaits them as they are hot to trot right now. If ever there was a time to call the upset this would have to be the week. D3 would be in dead shock if Darryl could pull Cobblestone from the ashes and shock the Topper one last time. Beware the trap game.

9.  Bullet Club looked solid in week #1 but another stiff test is heading their way. Is the club in the hunt for a D3 title or will PTP shock them? I for one can't wait to see JJ and Katie Salisbury have at it as both girls could be the best D3 has to offer. Though I am sure Kelly Liddle might just have something to say about that......

10. GNA looked very solid in their first victory, a very up and down Bitzkrieg heads to town next. This will be a very solid test for GNA as Blitzkrieg has young legs that can flat out fly. GNA is ever the methodical team that believes that slow and steady wins the race. This game should be a good one.  

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CYA Saturday......

GF OUT