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"Do You Know

Where you're going to?

Do you like the things

That life is showing you?

Where are you going to?

Do you know?"         - Diana Ross, "Do You Know Where You're Going To"

Week 8. Amazing we've made it this far. This is the point in the season where Lenny and I would usually start becoming sick of teams, sicks of players, sick of shenanigans, and pretty much sick of each other. But we'd buffer it off of each other to some degree, and push through. Well, I don't have Lenny around to buffer it, folks. So yes - that means I'm crabby as f**k. Not because I'm naturally that way - y'all are driving me nuts. And that means ZTR is making an earlier appearance than usual this Fall.

Who or what is ZTR? ZTR stand for Zero Tolerance Rameer. Congratulations! You guys did it. And please believe, this genie doesn't go back in the bottle. Once we're here, we're here until the season is over. So while this season there have been numerous warnings in this article and elsewhere - all I'll say is please don't be the one to be that example. Don't make me put you on that Summer Jam screen. And this doesn't mean I'm looking to mess with anyone - it just means exceptions and understanding are done with. Strict enforcement of the rules? That's what's for dinner now. 

"Talk is cheap and if talk got any cheaper

They'd be selling Nike tongues instead of sneakers..." - Queen Latifah, "Latifah's Had It Up To Here"

I want to send an apology out to Kasey of All We Do Is Qwinn. I feel partially responsible for bringing the circus to her backyard, and while I don't think she takes offense - I still should do better. I will. In the meanwhile - stay away from LDE, young Kasey. And continue to ball out. 

I also apologize to teams who have had questionable reffing decisions. While I didn't make those decisions, it's on me to put out the best guys to uphold the game and not hurt your team. Human error does occur, and most times it's not the ref(s) that cause you to lose - but I understand the frustration. And I'm trying to make sure we address things better for you all. 

Shout out to the ladies of A&A. Yes, we got blasted this past Saturday - with only 2 men from our entire roster present, we had to use subs and there was just no shot to win. But it wasn't on the ladies. They played hard and never got down. They honestly kept us in both games near the beginning. I love our women - I know many teams feel this about their teammates, but I really think we have some of the best ladies in the league in terms of talent AND attitude. 

An email was sent out to captains addressing substitutions. In summary, it says this - please don't try to sneak any players on to your roster, or try to be slick with subs in the playoffs, etc. If your plan is any of these things - you're done for the season. No exceptions. No negotiating. The rules are clear on this. You can read them on the Topper Sports page under "downloads" - rules #5 through #8 address substitutions, and Section G does as well. Oh, and if you're one of these teams that send emails/messages to Topper, myself, the sublist, etc. Friday night or Saturday morning thinking that allows you to grab someone?

Not our problem. PLAY SHORT. You've got all week to figure out who will be there for your team. Not our responsibility cuz you didn't start checking until Friday after work. I knew last week on Monday my team needed subs. Plenty of teams do things the right way - the wrong way will not be rewarded or aided. 

The cold war between the podcasts continues, but you know what? I'm at the point where I've stopped listening. That's not knocking either one - prior to this session, I hadn't listened to the podcast in about 2 sessions. This past spring, we obviously didn't have a podcast airing. Now we have 2 podcasts, and while I commend the effort put into both - I'm bowing out from the war. So don't ask me what I thought of whatever was in either one - I'm not gonna hear it. Burn out is real. 

I sincerely hope most of you who are now coming up to me WEEKLY crying about what rules need to be changed, thrown out, added, revised, etc. keep that SAME ENERGY prior to the Spring session when Topper and I begin asking people for what rules should be changed or looked at. A bunch of you love to lecture us on what we should do, but are quiet as a church mouse when we actually say "Give us your ideas." Which I did prior to this session. I hope those of you who engage in this practice take my numerous "eff yous" with the sincerity I give them out to you. Because by this point in the season, we're not changing rules, and we're not remotely giving a crap that you decided you don't like a rule that effected your team in a game that y'all didn't bother to care about when we had all those weeks of down time. And to be clear - I reached out to like 20 individuals in the offseason. Very few bothered to respond. 

Remember F, M, K? Lenny loved that game, and it used to appear on the podcast, at the bar, in multiple articles, etc. I thought it was really fun myself. But I dare not put it in my article, cuz I know the firestorm that would happen if I named names even in fun. I can do that in person, but not in print - y'all don't know how to act. But I'll still have a little fun with it - this Saturday (and this Saturday ONLY), if you can correctly tell me which 3 ladies in the league (above all the others) I would F, M, K? I will buy you food and drinks all day on my dime. Now, you're probably thinking that's unfair cuz of how many people there are in the league. Well...DUH. It ain't supposed to be easy. I'll say it ain't as hard as y'all think, cuz I think a good number of you can figure out the "K". It's the "F" and the "M" where you'd likely get stumped. So I'll give you this one hint, and it's the ONLY hint - they all have the same hair color. Not telling you if that's brunette, blonde or redhead. Just saying...THAT'S the only hint.

And no, I will not tell you when you have part of it right or wrong. You have to offer all 3 selections, and once you do - I will tell you if you were wrong or right. 

I'm gonna say this on the record, cuz I say it off the record all the time - Topper does a ton to make sure you guys have fun. A ton. Not gonna list it, it's evident. So as his friend, please stop coming up with ideas to use HIS dime. I feel like some of you love to come up with these grandiose ideas of what would be awesome to do that costs a pretty penny, but y'all NEVER offer to pony up or chip in yourselves. This ish costs money. All of it. And some of you lose track of that. I never do, and never did. But think of that next time you're suggesting "the league rent a Delorean for a day and get a marching band to play on field #1 at noon" - you going in your pocket for that? No? Then kindly shut the f**k up. 

Now that Deanna is gone (#teamdeanna!) I've discovered something Saturday - Nikki is the only bartender who can make an accurate Paulie J. I bought a pitcher and it was...aight. Wasn't up to snuff. Keep that in mind if you're buying it, true believers. 

Speaking of Nikki...her friend Ashley seriously needs to stop by the fields before the season is over. She said she would (lies!)...

It hasn't been discussed, by why not - you guys have any interest in a wine tour? TSL wine tours tend to be phenomenal events. If so, let myself, Topper, Joe K, Val or Emily know for the rest of the season. Based on interest, maybe we'll look into pricing. 

It was alleged that the league doesn't have women writers and never has. Again - know your history. The Godmother Marissa Mariano had an article for the league for a good while, and you mopes have no idea if The Power Couple, Godfather, Power Rankings, Sentinel or any number of past articles were written by men OR women. Factually speaking, the ONLY article where people have been 100% sure of the identity of the writer is MINE - purposely. Please tuck your assumptive sexism back in your upper lip and STFU. 

Similarly - Val is not the 1st "First Lady of the TSL". Hell, she's not even the first VAL that was the 1st First Lady!!! Chew on THAT, youngsters! Lolz! 

Apparently, this week is "E-ville", an event many of you look forward to yearly and go to, which means attendance may be a bit spotty on Saturday (although many will play their games and just leave to go afterwards).I've never gotten the E-ville thing and at this point, don't see myself ever partaking in it. Cultural differences - I have no interest based on the stories and pictures I've seen. But hey, those of you attending have fun. It's just not my bag. 

I think I should restate this so that everyone gets it, even though I already discussed it...once the playoffs start, you're playing with your team. No subs. No QB off the sublist, no men off the USL, no multiple women. You may use one non-rostered woman that the league will decide on, and you are absolutely not guaranteed to be approved just because you want someone as good or better as your missing player(s). You would do wise to keep this in mind. Also - if you think sneaking in a player during the playoffs is worth it? The only time a playoff game's result was negated in the TSL - it was me who made the call. Yes, Lenny made most of the hard decisions - that's the one I made. So yes, I will totally disqualify you for bringing in cousin Joey who used to play for Boise State and thinking you won't get caught. Again - your opponents ain't dumb. and they will ask for a roster check if they see some really good player(s) they didn't see all season. And I will check your roster right there in the moment - this season, that ish is ALL right on my phone. 

We've only got a few weeks left. Let's make 'em count, and let's have fun. This is not the time to up the shenanigans, it's time to get serious about winning and enjoying your teammates and fellow players in the league. If my article was a bit dour this week - well, it's a good thing there are multiple articles, ain't it? Listen to the podcasts - I'm sure they'll bring a smile to your faces. You know what brings a smile to my face?

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!" - Conan The Barbarian

Holla at me - I'll be in the cut. 

- Rameer AKA Zero Tolerance

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