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"It was the best of times it was the worst of times"

Things were in doubt for the mighty franchise known as ACE.  They had spent the past few sessions basically wreaking havoc on all their opponents dismantling them one by one. The scores were crazy lopsided and they had set their sights firmly on the D6 title, then "it" happened. A couple of their knucklehead players decided a wedding was more important than football and they lost the D6 title to Matty's Angels. It took hours nay days nay weeks nay months for them to recover. It's OK they would just go back to the calm confines of D6 and take that which was rightfully theirs right? Wrong? Uncle Topper pulled a swerve and sent them to D5. Their players were crushed and defeated they couldn't win...but he knew other wise. Their players, to a man, knew the road they needed to travel would be long and winding and might lead to no where.....but he knew other wise. They were rocks stars in D6 but they couldn't possibly run over D5 could they?. On September 9 in the year of our Lord 2017 ACE took the field of battle and behind one of the greatest leaders of modern times they beat Back That Pass Up 35-12. That leader's name is Ron and Ron is good nay spectacular nay stupendous nay the definition of awesomeness. There are those that will claim that BTPU only had 5 people that glorious day and that's why they lost but the world and Ron know different. Ron threw on his shades and led his team into the valley of death as he won both on and off the field. ACE did not know what to expect, they didn't know if they belonged but 50  minutes later it became obvious that ACE could win and that's exactly what they did.  Thank you Ron. Thank you for sun shine and koala bears and thank you for sun sets and rainbows and grilled peaches on warm summer evenings. Thank you for world peace and thank you for bringing ACE to our little corner of the galaxy.  Thank you for restoring the faith of the franchise and putting so many smiles on the faces of the players, people in airplanes flying 35,000 ft over head of the fields,  fans, the bystanders, the opponents and the children watching through windows in the houses so close to Field #5. Thank you for making our Saturday so much more special than we deserved it to be......Thank you.

A wesomeness

C ompetitive

E tiquette

R egal

O mnipotent

N imble

Let's pick some games......

DIVISION #1

CHAD STUFF +13 VS PUBLIC ENEMY:  Chad Stuff did not have a very memorable debut last week. They looked a tad in over their head. We can only hope and pray that the calvary is coming.. Going back to back with Eyes Downtown and PE isn't really fair as both teams are very good. PE will be coming off a bye so that could help. The PE defense will need to focus on Bloomfield. ED did a very decent job of spacing their safeties and converging on the ball when the bombs were thrown over and over and over again. PE has CS outgunned in every facet of the game but Chad Stuff has Darrick Bloomfield and Bloomfield can literally take a game over all by himself.  PUBLIC ENEMY BY 11

RACKS AND SACKS +6 VS PUBLIC ENEMY: RAS struggled out of the gate against Corey Turner and Co. They made the mistake most newbs make and they went long way too much. This week should be an interesting test for them as PE comes to town and is solid across the board. The RAS girls will need to be ready to go as PE should have a big speed edge. I am very interested to see how Travis/Boccio II goes. They faced many moons ago in Breakfast Club and Boccio stole Travis's milk money but that was then and this is now. I expect Radon to pull back a tad and take what he is given .RAS will be ready to play in this one and could surprise if they get a few bounces going their way.  Unless something silly happens PE should have enough top to bottom to win this one.     PUBLIC ENEMY BY 4

EYES DOWNTOWN VS #XTC +10:   .ED looked very impressive last week and #XTC looked like they would have lost to 3/4 of D2 last week. This is the calm before the storm. ED has #XTC out-manned out-girled and out-gunned in    this one. Matty Monhr joining the fold will test #XTC's secondary. Zak Kedron did not look good in coverage last week. Stegmeier did not look good emailing the TSL his sub requests last week. Tommy Hughes did not look very good at QB last week though his WRS dropped a ton of passes. I fear #XTC is about to get crushed again this week by a team that could be the class of D1.     EYES DOWNTOWN BY 13

THE PURGE VS #XTC +3: The Purge should take this one as I fear #XTC is not going to have a very good session. They are having QB troubles, Flynn bailed on them and Kelsey missed last week.  Kellie Mazur vs Shari should be an awesome battle as both ladies are very very good. I think these teams will match up well.  Nick has some sick speed that TP will need to account for and TP has Neutz who should be able to make some plays. TP has the QB edge here unless #XTC can summon the ghost of Dave Chelus. This game should start close but as time goes by TP should carry.   THE PURGE BY 4

DIVISION  #2

TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION +6 VS ANGRY BUFFALO: TEIM got a huge win last week against Witter's. They have Tiger and Tiger is good. AB got a very big win against NWO. Angry Buffalo has Nick Sooch and Nick Sooch is very good. The secret seems to be out on TEIM as teams are starting to move their zones up and force Alex to beat them deep I expect to see this same idea implemented by the AB defense this week. TEIM have a solid play book and very decent players. They will bring the fight as they are talented but it just seems like AB have too many horses to account for and a QB that just flat out dices teams up. Look for AB to score early and often and hold TEIM when they need to.   ANGRY BUFFALO BY 8

NWO VS DMX +8: DMX carved D3 up last session and made the jump to D2. They have a solid squad that is very balanced behind a QB that can throw darts. NWO has Joey Batts who right now is the odds on favorite for D2, D3 and over all league MVP. I also would like to take this time to congratulate Joey as he found his way into the bar for the first time in 5 years last week. NWO is very balanced and over time will get better and better and better. Their girls will need time but they too should improve. Bet the over in this one but NWO should carry in this one.   NWO BY 6

WITTERS +7 VS GRAY AND ASSOCIATES: Witter's had a tough day at the office last week but they were missing two key pieces of their squad. GNA started out slow but picked up steam as  last season moved along. They made it all the way to the D2 semis last session and I expect them to be in contention again this session. They have a team of battle trusted vets who know this game better than almost anyone. They will see the hole in the Witter's zone and will attack early and often. Witters will give them so match up head aches but by games end Dubey should have a pretty easy day with a zone that still needs some work. GRAY AND ASSOCIATES BY 6

DMX VS BLITZKREIG +3: Blitzkreig looked pretty hapless last week as their defense was toasted and their offense did not do much to score points. Yes they have talent but they need to find better ways to get their talent involved.   You cant have guys that are good football players getting rocked on defense like that. Move up the zone and force teams to beat you deep. DMX is a solid team that very good on offense. They have crushed D3 and now have set their sights on the D2 title. They are very balanced and will give Blitzkreig a hard time this week. Blitzkreig have play makers but it just seems like they don't know how to use them yet. I expect a a very decent battle this week with this two.  DMX BY 4

DIVISION #3

GRYFFINDOR VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY +3: Now this is what I am talking about. These two teams know each other well. One team has one of the greatest leaders of modern times, a phenomenal QB and the odds on favorite for D2, D3 and overall MVP. The other team has Topper who apparently is "a little sore right now" after Casey from A&A beat him in a 47 yard dash. The stars will be out this week. We will have Battaglias we will have Drew one can only hope we will have Todd Geoffrey Nixon. Call it a hunch but something tells me Gryffindor is all in and could very well take the D3 title this session. For them to do this they must go through the Topper. Both these teams are very good I have a feeling this might not be the last time they see each other.   GRYFFINDOR BY 3

PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS COBBLESTONE +4: Oh how the might have fallen. PTP basically gets asked to leave D2 then BOOM Uncle Topper lays the smacketh downeth on them in week #1. It's like they didn't know what hit them. PTP is not off to a very good start and now Uncle Topper can make fun of them for like 9 more weeks. Cobblestone did not fare super well last week.  The WRS , defense and all players not named Darryl must circle the wagons and do better or its going to be a very long season. Darryl  can only do so much. My God the guy is giving 183% if you add that to the -241% the rest of the team is giving that means Cobblestone is getting -58% each week that's why they aren't winning. Come on people help Darryl out here!  PTP has Katie Salisbury but Cobblestone has Sam. This will be one of the best female match ups all day and is easily worth the price of admission.  PRIME TIME PLAYERS BY 3

A&A +3 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY: This game could be alot of fun. Matty Ice has his teams right where you would expect. His sandlot and plate o spaghetti offense is catching fire as this is a copy cat league. There is no better sand lot QB than the Topper who still to this day draws plays in the dirt. Now that there is no longer dirt and only grass Topper is mad because he can't draw plays anymore. A&A will bring all kinds of match up headaches. Will Casey once again run right by Topper? Will Drew be too focused with the sideline bystanders and not focused on the game? Will Todd Geoffrey Nixon be mad when he sees his jersey? Where did the Gatorade bucket go? This game has instant classic written all over it. One thing is for sure this game will be good as anything that can happen probably will happen.  1 TOPPER TOO MANY BY 1 

DIVISION #4

HK4 +8 VS SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE GIRLS: OK HK was good HK2 and HK3 were awful but HK4 so far isn't half bad. The problem is they are facing potential D4 favorite SAFTG this week. JZ seems more determined than ever to take home a trophy. JZ has been money so far. He has played well, he has reffed well, he does push ups well and to date we have been told he has only showered in his home. HK4 will need to be ready as SAFTG is a very balanced team.  SAFTG will not light up the score board but they play solid defense and usually score just enough to carry the day.  SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE GIRLS BY 7

NO PUNT INTENDED +10 SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE GIRLS: NPI will be up against it this week against a team that is solid across the board. SAFTG have good girls, a decent stable of guys and a solid but un-spectacular QB. NPI will have their hands full this week as the team they face wants nothing more than to dismantle each and every team the TSL trots in front of them. NPI will need to get safe modest gains and not go long as SAFTG will be waiting on them. Be smart and be methodical and maybe you will have a shot this week. SAFTG BY 10

AARP +8 VS SHREDDERS: AARP did not lose on opening day and that is good. They didn't score many points though and that is bad. Shredders are the parts of the old WSS.  They will want to send a message to the rest of D4 that they were the reason WSS was so good. AARP is a decent team on both sides of the ball but I am not sure they will have the weapons in motion Shredders will.  Shredders should have a big girl edge which should in theory propel them to victory. Yes the world wants ARRP to win so they can win a D4 title and tell yours truly to stick it but I fear Shredders will beat them this week. SHREDDERS BY 7

3RD AND SCHLONG +8 VS HOMETECH: This is the match up of the day but I am still not sure if this will be the game of the day. Props to 3rd and Schlong for coming up to D4 just so they can play this game that is a money move. The problem is they might not have the horses to run in this one. Kevin Keller did not fare well last week and I fear he will be thrown on early and often this week. 3rd and Schlong will have a slight girl edge and the QBs are close but Hometech appears to have more speed which should help them cruise in this one. I am not going to lie I want 3rd and Schlong to win but running up a division might not have been the wisest call though I really hope I am wrong.  HOMETECH BY 7

DIVISION #5

ACE +3 VS COME FROM BEHIND: ACE was triumphant in their glorious return to D5. Ron was magical and so was his supporting cast. Another glorious player waits anxiously in the shadows as ACE must now face the juggernaut known as CFB.  Paul and Co are battle tested and will give ACE all they can handle and more. CFB has the QB  edge but ACE has some speed issues CFB will struggle with. This game will come down to Ron. Can Ron will his team to victory? Can he grab the football and once again throw magical spirals through the air? Can Ron take ACE tot he promise land? Time will tell..... COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

HOPE N RUIN VS UNCLE RICO'S TIME TRAVELERS +4:  Uncle Rico played like Uncle Topper and did not fare very well last week. A very solid HNR team comes to town this week. HNR is a solid franchise that has been there and done that. They are quick they are smart and they play darn good defense. Uncle Rico needs more than they got last well as they did not look impressive on either side of the ball.  HNR is a notoriously slow starter but they should have enough to take this one. HOPE N RUIN BY 3

HUNG BUFFALO +1 VS MADISON LEE'S: This one should be interesting. ML looked very solid last week. They have speed, solid offense and they played stingy defense. HB started out pretty well themselves and should be a solid test of ML.  HB has size speed and has won in this league before as they are no slouch. HB can sometimes be exposed as they lack top end speed that some of the other D5 teams have. ML will need to use their speed in this one if they do they should win. Gender teams usually feast on the 5 vs 5 match up but ML will not have the edge this week in that department.  MADISON LEE'S BY 3

ALL WE DO IS QWINN VS MATTY'S ANGELS +1: MA did not look overly impressive last week and we are hearing rumors that they will be short handed this week. AWDIQ basically crushed D6 but was not overly impressive last session in D5. They do have some skill and they are very fast. They will need to find a way to utilize that speed to have any chance this week. Matty Ice may have been hung over last week as he did play well early but it just looked like he wasn't hitting any of his easy reads last week. MA will need to clean up the offense or they could be in trouble this week. AWDIQ BY 3

PASSLESS CHAPS +4 VS BACK THAT PASS UP: Both teams didn't look overly impressive last week as both got crushed. They both struggled on both sides of the ball. Each team needs to dumb down the play book and just try to get small modest gains. Once they do that then drop in a long one every now and again. Both defenses need to move up and do a better job in their zones as each zone looks soft and not very imposing. These teams match up well with each other right now. I expect a close game that could go either way late.
 BACK THAT PASS UP BY 1

HOPE N RUIN +6 VS COME FROM BEHIND: HNR had a decent session and looks to take the next step. CFB should settle in nicely in D5. CFB has a very big height advantage on this team and should be able to sue that height to get some very modest gains on offense. HNR has some speed that will need to be accounted for but they wont beat many deep. CFB isn't overly fast so this should be a great match up for them. CFB has a very solid offense and should put some point sup on a defense that will struggle with the high ones. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

DIVISION #6

THE TAMMY'S +7 VS CELINO SEWER RATS: It was nice to see the Tammy's return to the fold. They gave THE a fight and showed well. CSR won a game and are off to a nice start it looks like they are clicking on offense. The Tammy's will bring a very balanced attack to the fields this week. They better be conscious of the gals on CSR as they can go and they can make plays. The Tammy's will need to counter with their speed guys who must deliver this week against a secondary that is prone to a lapse or two.. I expect a very good game here and think this one wont be decided until late .CELINO SEWER RATS BY 6

SANTA'S SECRET SAUCE +6 VS THE MCKENZIE AGENCY: The sauce just cant score and this is bad very very very bad. Yes we love the prophet the most honorable Dave Walter but he needs to search high and low climb upon mountains high if he must but he must find a QB. TMA is having all kinds of issues as the in fighting has begun. Only Brent and his magical smile is the only thing that can save this franchise from disaster. I think they need to go back to moonshine and I honestly think Brent should be playing QB, wr and every position on defense. More Brent equals ratings!!!! WTF McKenzie Agency lets circle the wagons here and get back to basics. The team you are playing struggles to score you must find a way to win.  THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 7

UFO +1 VS THE TOMMY HUGHES EXPERIENCE: Yay UFO they finally won a game. Life is good when you are 1-0 unless you are on the soap opera known as THE. What happens this week as the THE inspirational leader is off on official league business? Is this the week Hughes and Gordon have at it? Will they go nuclear again? Can they win this game? UFO is better than they think and THE better be careful or they could get upset this week. They need to find a way to stay together and stop the in fighting if they do they will have a chance.  THE TOMMY HUGHES EXPERIENCE BY 3

THE PRACTICE SQUAD VS COLLEGIATE SOLAR +8: CS can not catch a break as they continue to play bad football. At least they are good off the field. PS did not look half bad last week and will look to take the next step. PS has a solid roster top to bottom and in time could really find their groove. Solar is probably the worst team in the TSL and that's OK there is tons of room to improve. Solar will always struggle on defense and I do not think Saturday will be any different. THE PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

WEEK #1 MVP'S 

#5:  JZ: Helped to lead Saturday's are for the Girls to a huge 22-0 thug like beat down of Hometech. Later in the day got into a war of words with a FUBAR Dove and beat him 41-40 in the push up battle seen around the world. Also beat Topper in week #1 of the TSL fantasy league.

#4: Tiger: Dude is money on and off the field, he was the reason TEIM beat Witter's on the last play 37-34. Yes someone else caught the game winner but Tiger ran the route which the whole defense bit on which led to the game winning TD. 

#3: Angry Buffalo Field Maintenance: Joe David and Co were money. The grass was green, the beer was cold and opening day was spectacular.

#2: Ron from ACE: A field general like no other. ACE is cruising and doing really really well. Heads into un-chartered territory this week where Paul awaits.....

#1: Casey from A&A: Girl was Patrick Stewart money Saturday on the field then beat Topper for $100 in a 47 yard dash. Girl is crazy fast.

WEEK #1 LVP'S

#5: Angry Buffalo: Stayed in D2 and beat a very solid NWO by 20.   RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.

#4: Kevin Keller: You can't put "stud" on the back of your shirt then get burnt like toast again and again and again. BTW why didn't you put "I once made out with Danica McKellar on a Carnival Cruise Line" on the back of your shirt that's what I would have done. 

#3: The McKenzie Agency: We are hearing rumors that the team is going all Hoosier Daddy and is about to implode. They also lost to 19-18. BTW Brent is not on this list. Brent is awesome and deserves better than this implosion. Circle the wagons boys and girls you are making us and Brent sad :(

#2: Gordon and Tommy Hughes: So you guys are both warriors and friends we get that. Then something dumb happens in a D6 game and you both go nuclear on each other. OK at what point do each of you realize things aren't supposed to go nuclear in D6 football games. (unless you play for ACE) One more week of that and we are sending you both to couple's counseling.  

#1: Rameer: Really? Really? Really?. So the TSL asks Ricky Austin "316" to be on a podcast. Ricky gets excited and agrees the night before to be on a podcast . Then you send the TSL an email saying Ricky has declined to be on a podcast. Way to channel the inner ghost of Chuck Mahoney Rameer. If Rameer starts handing out gas cards, does jersey laundering and gives all players laminated wrist band play books we are folding up the tents and leaving town.  

5 QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

1. If we bought you a basset hound would you go on a date with B'S Brother? Ladies and gentlemen that right there is the million dollar question. 

2.  Will anyone score in the SSS McKenzie Agency game? Both teams are struggling on offense right now (obviously the only person in this game that isn't struggling is Brent he is a beacon of light in an other wise dreary day). One team needs a cheese platter and the other needs moonshine. I hope and pray someone scores and this game isn't 0-0. 

3. What is up with #XTC? They better recover quickly or this could be a real long season. A very winnable game against the Purge is up this week but they have also have a show down with Eyes Downtown this week and things look bleak. BTW thank you to all that voted in the Zak Kedron poll. 

4. How long will it take before we have an all out cat fight on Bullet Club? No one has tried to run a 5 girl team since Darryl "tried" it many many moons ago. To those of you that forgot that too was a train wreck.  The over under on our first Bullet Club female fight over playing time is October 14th.

5.  Is Blitzkreig really that bad or was last week just a fluke? That's a very good question. They seem to have a decent amount of talent on both sides of the ball yet they got crushed last week. DMX should be a decent D2 team so this will be a big test for Blitzkreig. If they get crushed again they could be in big trouble. 

10 final thoughts before game day

1. The game I have my eye on this week is simple. It is quadruple dog on this week people!!!! This game is so big its being moved to FIELD #1 at 2:00. Fasten your seat belts boys and girls because Hometech and 3rd and Schlong are going to have at it once and for all. This game will be bedlam. It will be Hatfields vs McCoys.  We all know the side story 3RD and Schlong decided to just leave D5 just so they could go up to D4 and play Hometech, well this week they get their wish.  They just better make sure Kevin Keller doesn't play safety this week. I think he still is getting burnt deep even today.

2.  I know its early but there is alot on the line this week when PTP plays Cobblestone. The loser of this game will be in a big hole early and may never recover. Both teams just didn't look very good last week. PTP needs to score more as their offense looked anemic. Cobblestone has arguably the best QB in the league but for some reason their WRS and players not named Darryl do not give supreme effort. Something has to give this week. The winner will get back in the race. The loser could be in for a free fall. 

3. I am very excited to see how the TEIM Angry Buffalo game unfolds. TEIM looked pretty decent last week while Angry Buffalo looked scary good. AB looked like they could score at will on a very solid NWO secondary. TEIM will bring different challenges but they must find ways to better stretch the field. I really have no clue how TEIM will stop an offense that just looks flat our dialed in right now. 

4.  If Joey Batts has any shot at D2 D3 and over all league MVP he must go out this week and dismantle Team Topper. Topper and Co looked very solid on both sides of the ball last week. Joey Batts must put on a show for the ages as the judges could be watching. I am very interested to see how this one unfolds as both these teams are in the top tier of D3 squads. Both have solid squads that are balanced nicely. 

5. Matty's Angels did not look overly impressive last week in their week #1 victory now a new test comes to town this week as AWDIQ is next up. AWDIQ is very fast and could be a very interesting match up for Girl Power.  Usually gender teams struggle with height but AWDIQ is one of the faster teams in D5. I am curious to see how that speed translates in this game. Will AWDIQ be stubborn and go long ball or play smart and hit their speedy guys on 5-7 yard slants and let them run them out longer? Matty's Angels are a solid team but this is one of the quicker teams they have seen to date.

6.  As always all eyes will be on Gray and Associates this week. Who will be in this session's line up? Can they take the next step? How much gas do they have left in the tank? Witters didn't look overly impressive last week but they were missing 2 of their core players. Both teams at 100% could be a very interesting match up as both squads are as cerebral as they come. 

7. I will have my eyes on Celino Sewer Rats this week. They could be the D6 dark horse right now if they can pull off a victory against a battle tested Tammy's team. CSR looked very solid last week and will look to take the next step against a vet savvy crew. 

8. UFO vs The Tommy Hughes Experience should be fun. I am excited to see Hughes and Gordon go off on each other this time with no Joe K to settle them down. UFO is in un-chartered waters as they are 1-0 and could make a statement with a big win this week. If that doesn't work just throw gas on the Hughes Gordon tire fire and just watch it burn baby!!

9.   I think it's a shame that Matty's Angels and Madison Lee's aren't playing this week. I think once the schedule is out the game should be played. DMX and GNA already re-scheduled.  New Gods cancelled as well this week and I am hearing they are also trying to reschedule a game with Public Enemy later this year. I still don't understand how folks get all this time to tell us when they can play. Then the schedule comes out then all the re-scheduling starts. I think its really weak. Most teams make the playoffs. Sometimes in life you just play short and it is what it is. 

10. Many thanks to Bobby (Eyes Down Town), Nick (Angry Buffalo) and Tammy (Witter's) who all were nice enough to join us on last week's TSL podcast. If you ever would like to be on a show shoot us an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and we will schedule you to come on. 

If you want a sub please email the request to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. before Thursday at 6PM. After that you may only use a player on the Universal Sub list only. 

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GF OUT