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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, when you descend upon the Lenny Alba Fields at the Rose Garden this Saturday, May 20th, in the Year of Our Lord 2023, it will officially mark the beginning of Week 5 of the season. Why is this significant? Well dear reader, it means that we’ve officially played half of the Spring 2023 season already! Four weeks have passed, and of the 46 Non-Breakfast Club teams in the league, all but nine of you have played at least 4 games already. With most of the league having played half their schedule already, it's time to take a look at the updated Championship Odds this season! 



D1:

 

Championship Odds:

 

Legends (4-1)

Sticky Bandits (4-1)

Losing Streak (5-1)

Eyes Downtown (7-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (10-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (25-1)

Frodo Swaggins (50-1)

Scared Hitless (100-1)



Some clear lines have formed in D1 between the haves and the have nots, haven’t there? Despite the Sticky Bandits being the team that gave the Legends their only loss this season, these two come in with even odds. The Legends have been rolling as of late, getting better as the season has gone on. Sticky has stayed largely even keeled, systematically rolling through D1 like a well-oiled machine. Meanwhile, Losing Streak is just a hair behind the two, having just lost to Sticky, and they get to test their mettle against the Legends this weekend. A Losing Streak victory over Legends truly makes this a three horse race. Eyes Downtown sits just behind them, having only played 3 games so far this season. A 1-2 record isn’t what Bobby trained for for 8 months, so you know he’s pulling his hair out over it. A 7 point win over Grey Hair, and a loss to Frodo makes you wonder if the end is near for ED or not. Tight Ends In Motion is in the middle of it all, too good for the teams below them, and a step or two behind the ones ahead of them. If they get hot, the teams above them need to look out, but we haven’t really seen anything from them (YET!) to suggest they will. Grey Hair Don’t Care deserves some type of award. I mean, these guys might be the best 1-4 team I’ve ever seen in my time writing this article. They play you very, very tough, and you can’t sleep on them. I look forward to picking them to upset someone in the first round of the playoffs. Frodo Swaggins isn’t lighting the world on fire just yet, and a win over Eyes Downtown is the lone bright spot in a rough season. Life doesn’t get easier for them with games against Sticky (x2) and Losing Streak coming up. Scared Hitless has been getting slammed in the media for constant losses, and rightfully so. Yes, the schedule makers did them no favors giving them Sticky Bandits, Losing Streak, and Legends right out of the gate. Even if they aren’t on that level, that’s no excuse for only putting up 24 points (8 points per game) with the talent they have. With the easiest remaining schedule in D1 (GHDC x2, Frodo, TEIM, ED) we’ll see just how much they belong or if they go QB shopping in the offseason. (Someone tell Jeremy Burr to ref 4 games quickly, just in case).



Last Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits 34, Losing Streak 20

Legends 43, Tight Ends In Motion 14

Tight Ends In Motion 54, Grey Hair Don’t Care 25

Legends 42, Grey Hair Don’t Care 18



Sticky puts a stop to Losing Streak’s momentum (for now), the Legends drop big time points on TEIM and Grey Hair to remind the TSL who runs this show, and Tight Ends lets out their frustrations on no longer being a top D1 contender on Grey Hair Don’t Care this week. 



This Week’s Games:

 

Legends vs Losing Streak (+6) - Well, Losing Streak got their first shot at really proving they were top dogs last week against Sticky and came up short. Their prize? A Legends team that has been on fire recently. If LS wins this one, nobody cares about last week. Another loss however will show them that there’s still work to be done. LEGENDS BY 12

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Scared Hitless (+7) - The biggest question for Scared Hitless is going to be just how mentally tough they are. They got through the brutal schedule, but are they still positive? Do they believe in themselves? Do they remember that Johnny F’N Football is on their team? Both teams need a win. Grey Hair has been oh so close all season and are better than 1-4. The Dylan Day redemption tour starts this weekend. Watch Hitless put up more points in this one game than they have all season. SCARED HITLESS BY 10

 

Eyes Downtown vs Tight Ends In Motion (+7) - I don’t think a win for Tight Ends pulls them out of the “middle of nowhere” in D1, but it more or less pulls Eyes Downtown down into the “Former D1 Contenders Group”. The more I think about it, the more I realize D1 really is a 3 team race, and these two aren’t part of that. Prove me wrong Eyes Downtown. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 3

 

Losing Streak vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - No matter what happens in the Legends game before this, Losing Streak will go into this one ready to dunk on a GHDC team giving up 33 points a game. There’s too much of a talent disparity here. LOSING STREAK BY 20



D2: 

 

Championship Odds:

 

No Punt Intended (4-1)

The Untouchaballs (4-1)

Mavericks (4-1)

Practice Squad (5-1)

Freeballers (10-1)



D2 continues to be the TSL Thunderdome this time around, as all of these teams are beating up on each other playing some VERY close games. No Punt Intended has been very good with Travis at the helm, but not great, and they still could use some work on defense. The Untouchaballs? Same thing. Burr has been good, not great, they have Mel and Matt Helm, and could win any game they play in. The Mavericks have the best offense in the division, but their defense is so brutal that they shoot themselves in their own foot. Practice Squad is only a hair behind these three, even at 0-4, as (say it with me now) “Every game has been a close game”. They can easily figure this out and become a true contender. The Freeballers bring up the rear here, and despite me ragging on them for what feels like ten seasons now, I’m not putting them last because of that. They were right in the thick of this division, but an unfortunate injury to super nice guy QB Dylan Jaloza derails the season. 



Last Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended 44, Practice Squad 30

The Untouchaballs 22, Mavericks 18



Not much to write home about here. NPI scores late to put away Practice Squad, and The Untouchaballs completely shutdown that Mavericks offense to take a four point victory. 



This Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended vs Freeballers (+10) - NPI continues to roll, as the hardest working 4-0 team left in the league gets a slight breather against a Freeballers squad that has some kinks to work out. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 8

 

No Punt Intended vs Mavericks (+3)  - Whatever that showing was by the Mavericks last week, it wasn’t them. They average nearly 40 points a game otherwise, so to be held to 18 feels more like that was an anomaly than anything else. Of course, the same could be said about their defense holding a team to only 22 points as well. MAVERICKS BY 6

 

The Untouchaballs vs Practice Squad (+7) - When we last had these two teams meet, UT walked away with a 28-23 win. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this league, it’s not to give B another shot at you. PS finally gets in the win column. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 3



D3:

 

Championship Odds:

 

Bullet Club (4-1)

Wanderers (4-1)

Itches and Oh’s (6-1)

Jabronies (7-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (7-1)

Can’t Touch This (10-1)

Vaspian (15-1)

Degeneration SeXy (15-1)



Bullet Club started the season off 3-0, but a 1 point loss to Itches and Ohs and a 2 point loss last week to LGR brought them back to the pack. They’ve still been scoring at a pretty high rate, but its been their defense that’s been the story for them this season. The Wanderers are the current “co-favorites” with BC as they sit atop the D3 standings with a 4-1 record. The one loss, of course, was to Bullet Club on the last play of the game that ended in controversy. It feels like these two teams are on track to run it back again in the championship. But first, a big Week 8 rematch looms. Itches and Oh’s is largely overlooked because they don’t really score a lot, they methodically work the clock, and force teams to play their game. Once you make a mistake, they’ll jump on you. It's even more impressive that they do it with next to no bench depth. The Jabronies are still figuring out what they are, but when they click, they click, as we saw in big wins over CTT and D-Sex. But they also got beat up on by LGR, and snuck out a one point win over Vaspian. So who knows what they are? This week against Wanderers should really show us. Let’s Get Reccked is also all over the place. They blew out Jabronies, snuck out a win over Bullet Club, just missed a close one against Wanderers, and looked lost against CTT. Much like their namesake, you just never know what you’re going to get. Can’t Touch This turned around an 0-2 start to remember how to play football again, winning 3 in a row. Besides the aforementioned win against LGR, they also beat the two worst teams in the division in Vaspian and D-Sex. Winning the games they “should” win is a great start for CTT, but at the end of the day their defense (or lack thereof) is going to be what bites them. Vaspian is absolutely hanging around in their games. Throwing out a bad opening game against Bullet Club, they’ve lost by 2 to Wanderers, 5 to CTT, and 1 to Jabronies. They could easily be 3-1 and the talk of the league right now. Degeneration SeXy is sort of a mess right now, after a 3 point loss to Wanderers in the Rainy Week 1, the other games have been double digit losses. They’re too talented to keep losing though. 



Last Week’s Games:

 

Can't Touch This 42, Degeneration Sexy 32

Can’t Touch This 38, Vaspian 33

Let’s Get Reccked 24, Bullet Club 22

Wanderers 26, Itches and Ohs 20

Jabronies 27, Vaspian 26

 

D3 gives us lots of fun, close football games yet again as CTT takes care of business to keep both D-Sex and Vaspian winless on the season, as they climb the standings. Let’s Get Reccked takes a come from behind victory against Bullet Club in a hard fought contest. The Wanderers keep doing Wanderers things, winning another low scoring, ball controlled affair. Finally, the Jabronies barely hold off Vaspian, walking away with a one point win. 



This Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club vs Degeneration Sexy (+10) - Bullet Club has lost their last two games by a total of 3 points, and could easily be 5-0 right now. They take on a D-Sex team that, as I said earlier, just can’t seem to put anything together. Both teams could really use a win here, and I think this will be a very close contest. BULLET CLUB BY 2

 

Can’t Touch This vs Itches and Ohs (+10) - Itches would normally be favored here, but with word coming down that Steve Moser will not be available due some of his old habits, someone else has to QB Itches. I’m not sure who that’s going to be, but they won't be able to replicate what Steve does for this team. They’re built to play a certain way, and without him it could be disastrous. It's like having a really nice car that doesn’t have an engine. Can’t Touch This really catches them at the right time, and they should continue this winning streak they’re riding. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

 

Wanderers vs Jabronies (+3) - If the Jabronies are going to solidify themselves as contenders, a win here would do it. Every game the Wanderers play is close, but that’s how they like it. They control the ball and the clock. They’ve been through every single football situation that there’s ever been, so they always know what to do. It’s impressive. They’re exactly what’s been advertised for all of this time. The Jabronies’ season has been up and down, and dialing it in for this game will really tell us how they’ll do in about a month. WANDERERS BY 3

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Vaspian (+3) - Vaspian is getting close to that first win of the season and they can feel it. LGR is too smart so they’ll always keep a game within a score. They like to have fun, and I’m not entirely sure a 3pm game is the best for this roster. VASPIAN BY 2



D4;

 

Championship Odds: 

 

Puckett All-Stars (3-2)

Travis Henry’s Kids (6-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (8-1)

Buffalo Vice (10-1)

BAADies (10-1)

Cunning Stunts (10-1)

Cobblestone (12-1)

Creekers (1000-1)



This is Puckett’s world and we’re all just living in it. Puckett is the story of the season so far, averaging 50.5 points a game so far. Someone strongly considered calling the police for the amount of abuse they’re putting on the rest of D4. They aren’t playing slouches either. They’ve beaten THK, and both gender teams too. They FEEL like they’re trying to right the wrongs of the past and well, good luck stopping them. Travis Henry’s Kids is building on what was a great end to last season. Say what you want about Langley at QB, he’s been one of the smarter ones the last few seasons. Pistol Pete is a monster, but THK will only go as far as their girls take them. They’re the big weak point of this squad, and while adding Jenna from TOX has helped, that’s not exactly a game changer. Passing While Intoxicated just keeps rolling. They ended last season very strong, won the title, and they look nice in D4. A loss to a good THK team is nothing to shake your head at, and they’re firing on all cylinders. Big test for them this week against Super Puckett. Buffalo Vice started off 2-0, now they’re on a little slide. They’re a good, smart team that, when the team is all there, will be a very tough out for any opponent. Don’t ever sleep on them. The BAADies are adapting to life with Garrett, and they’ll only get better as time goes on. Their defense has been brutal, and if they shore that up a bit, the wins will come. The Stunts have the opposite problem. In 3 games this season, the Stunts have only scored 78 total points. That used to be a one game output for them. Once their offense starts clicking again, look out. Cobblestone is playing good football with Darryl Carr QB Superstar directing them. The talent has always been there on this team, it's getting them on the same page to win. Lastly, the Creekers are good people from all of the reports I’m getting. I hear there’s a really awesome Mullet Guy on the team. All good things. The football, however, leaves a LITTLE to be desired, and it would take a miracle for them to pull off a championship at this point. 



Last Week’s Games:

 

Cobblestone 34, Buffalo Vice 32

Travis Henry’s Kids 42, Creekers 24

Puckett All-Stars 46, Creekers 18

Puckett All-Stars 46, Cunning Stunts 17

 

Cobblestone pulls out a close win over Buffalo Vice, in a very good game. THK kind of just did what they wanted to against the Creekers, who were then handed Puckett as the next opponent. Not the best doubleheader for them. Puckett would go on to dominate the Stunts as well, as the TSL considers PED testing the entire team. 



This Week’s Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Passing While Intoxicated (+8) - Both of these teams are about to face their greatest tests all season. Puckett has just been simply awesome, PWI has been very good. If any team is going to slow the Puckett Train down, it’ll be PWI. But they won’t. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 14

 

Buffalo Vice vs Creekers (+10) - The Creekers get things a little easier this week after a hellacious back to back last weekend. Even still, they’re going up against a Buffalo Vice team that’s been doing this for decades. The experience pays off. BUFFALO VICE BY 12

 

BAADies vs Cobblestone (EVEN) - If there’s a game Garrett isn’t going to mess up for the girls, it has to be the game against his old team, right? There are no guarantees in life, but I do think the Angels will continue their winning way. BAADIES BY 9



D5:

 

Championship Odds:

 

Come From Behind (3-1)

Not So Sticky (6-1)

TMA (8-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (8-1)

Tater Tots (10-1)

GUCCI (12-1)

Long Balls (17-1)

Goatsack! (20-1)

 

Death, Taxes, and Come From Behind winning football games. The only guarantees in life. CFB is rocking a 52 man NFL roster, but it doesn’t matter. Paul is slinging it like he’s 55 again, as CFB is the only team to score over 100 points so far in a competitive D5. Not So Sticky is performing well at the bar, at least. NSS has been keeping games close, but they’re not scoring enough to hang with CFB, as shown by their 11 point loss last weekend. TMA suffered their first loss of the season, but they’re still a deep team that you can’t ever count out. ILF seems to be figuring out the whole “Andrew playing QB” thing, as they’re 2-2 on the season and they look like contenders. The Tater Tots look disjointed and all over the place right now. They’re better than their 1-2-1 record suggests, but they need to find an answer on defense, which used to be a strength for them. GUCCI is 2-1, and they’re looking good. Here’s hoping they continue that momentum into this week and really make some noise in the division. The Long Balls have been doing well for their first season as they’re 1-2-1 and putting up just as many points in the division as anyone else. The problem for them is more on the defensive side of the ball, as they’re figuring out how to stop teams consistently. Goatsack had that not so welcoming first game of the season, a 32-0 loss in the rain. Since then they’re 1-2, beating NSS and having two one score losses to GUCCI and Long Balls. They’re going to be just fine. 



Last Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind 34, Not So Sticky 23

Long Balls 36, Tater Tots 36

ILF 34, TMA 7

 

Three games, three interesting outcomes overall. Come From Behind beats Not So Sticky rather comfortably, and they’re proceeding to be the class of the division. The Long Balls and the Tater Tots tie in a game that showcased the two similarities of these teams: Nice offense, Not So Nice Defense. And in a shocking result, ILF smacked TMA around the fields in a nice 34-7 win. 



This Week’s Games:

 

Not So Sticky vs Tater Tots (+7) - If the Tots are going to “right the ship” this season, this is a good place to start. NSS is a good team, but they can be beaten, and they’re vulnerable. Not sure what’s going on for the Tots this year, but it doesn’t seem good. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

 

TMA vs Long Balls (+7) - TMA is out to show last week was a fluke, as they take on a Long Balls team that is starting to “get it” in the TSL. The problem for the Long Balls is that I just essentially said they were the Tater Tots. TMA beat the Tots by about 100 points two weeks ago. TMA BY 16

 

Interdimensional Lighting Falcons vs Goatsack! (+7) - ILF is riding high after a big win, and the team is starting to find their identity this season. Goatsack continues to improve on the season as well, and they’re looking for a statement win here. Look for ILF to falter after a big win a week ago. GOATSACK! BY 8

 

Come From Behind vs GUCCI (+6) - Gucci is the next team to take a shot at CFB, and hopefully the talented squad can find a way to solve the CFB defense. They have an interesting wrinkle with QB Kelly Kane, and it could potentially disrupt CFB. But I have a feeling it won’t. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7



D6:

 

Championship Odds:

 

Southside (3-1)

Sausage McMuffins (5-1)

Two Tuddies (6-1)

Blitzkrieg (8-1)

Grass Eaters (10-1)

Balls Deep (10-1)

Pit Harade (17-1)

Back That Pass Up (20-1)

Mighty Drunks (25-1)



Southside, their loss last week notwithstanding, has been the class of D6 in the first four weeks of the season. They’ve scored 139 points to tie Pit Harade for most in the Division, but with one less game played. They’ve allowed one less point than Two Tuddies for least in the division, but with one more game played. QB Tyler can be a little rough around the edges during the game, but he can PLAY. There’s not a person on the squad who can’t hurt you in some way on the field. They’re good. The Sausage McMuffins are the fun, feel good story from the first half of the season. This mostly new team figured out what they’re doing VERY quickly, jumping out to a 4-0 record, tops in D6. Great jerseys, great attitude, and seemingly great people as Alex Hill came off as a really nice guy on the podcast this week. They’ll probably be 6-0 going into June when a double header with Southside and the Two Tuddies looms. The #1 seed is looking like a good regular season prize, so all of those teams will be gunning for it. Speaking of the Tuddies, they’re 2-1 and life seems good for the Tud Buds. They played Southside well (only losing by 10) and they’re handling business against newer teams the way a veteran team should. Crazy to think they were getting blown out not too long ago. This team is gelling the way a new team should, and you’re seeing first hand what happens when you do that. It's always Blitzkreig’s year, until it isn’t. Their defense is “fine”. Their offense is “fine”. As a result, they’re just “fine”. They started off hot against two new teams in Week 1, but since they they got obliterated by Southside and lost to the McMuffins. It seems like they’re just “fine”. The GrASS Eaters are just “Itches and Oh’s Lite” where Steve and Rylee play catch all day with other people around. Don’t get me wrong, it works. They might take an extra loss or two the next two weeks, but this team will be around when it counts. Balls Deep is sort of good but sort of bad? On the one hand, they’re 3-2, second in the division, and they just upset Southside somehow. On the other hand, they’re allowing the most points of any “contender”, and they have a negative point differential, which is indicative of probably being not that good. This team is going to be D6’s wild card that pulls off some random playoff upset. Pit Harade is off to a decent start in their TSL careers, sitting at 2-3. They can score, but they struggle to stop anyone. They have a brutal schedule of the McMuffins, Tuddies, and Southside to finish the season, but they should be a tough out in the playoffs. Apparently they represent well at the bar though, so they have that part down. Back That Pass Up continues to go through some growing pains, most notably on offense, where they only average about 20 points a game. Their defense is coming along however, and they have a good test this week against a very “fine” Blitzkrieg team. Lastly the Mighty Drunks have gotten very close to a win a couple times this season, but they have some issues on both sides of the ball that they need to work on. With a pretty tough schedule on the horizon, it might be a long month for them. 



Last Week’s Games:

 

Sausage McMuffins 23, Blitzkrieg 15

Two Tuddies 28, Back That Pass Up 16

Pit Harade 24, Back That Pass Up 18

Grass Eaters 49, Pit Harade 30

Balls Deep 34, Mighty Drunks 33

Balls Deep 21, Southside 14



The McMuffins take out Blitzkrieg to show they’re not a fluke. The Tuddies cruise to a victory over BTPU, who dropped to 0-2 on the day after a loss to Pit Harade. PH proceeded to stay balanced with a loss to the Grass Eaters. Balls Deep barely squeaks by the last place Mighty Drunks, before upsetting the then first place Southside. Clearly how everyone figured it would go. 



This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - Blitzkrieg knows they’re better than what they’ve shown the last two weeks, and this is the time they get back on track in the second half of the season. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

 

Two Tuddies vs Grass Eaters (+10) - No idea who will be throwing for the Eaters this week, but whoever it is will be a downgrade. Going through these changes against a Tuddies team that is rolling is not the best call. TWO TUDDIES BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Pit Harade (+14) - The McMuffins have high hopes coming into the second half of the season and they seem locked in as much as any other team in the TSL. There’s nothing more dangerous than a team that’s playing well and having fun. Pit Harade doesn’t seem to have much trouble scoring, but they’re not going to go anywhere in D6 if they don’t figure out how to play defense. Giving up 34.6 points per game won’t cut it. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 17

 

Southside vs Mighty Drunks (+17) -  The Mighty Drunks have kept up good spirits during a tough first half of the season. Their last game was easily their best yet, and they have a real problem for other teams in “Cam”. However they get a Southside team that’s coming off an upset loss, so you know they’re going to be as dialed in as ever. That’s just bad timing. SOUTHSIDE BY 13



FIVE QUESTIONS BEFORE SATURDAY:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



And with that, we’re ready for football tomorrow. You should probably bring a change of clothes. Remember, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know how your games went. Thank you to the bunch of you that do weekly. 



-GF OUT