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Ladies and gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome back! I am so excited to be back on the fields with all you fine people and Week 1 did not disappoint. We had an early start compared to years past but for all those complaining about it being “too hot” last Saturday, more will be thankful come November that we are not playing in the snow. Trust me, I’ve heard teams considering forfeiting a championship because the bar was warm and the air on the fields hurt your face. So yes, it was hot, I’m sure a good number of us experience some sunburn on Sunday but for the 38 teams that got started Week 1, it was a glorious day. Let’s take a look at what I saw, divisionally.

In D1, Public Enemy came back for “one more year” again, to try to reclaim their title. The fall of Why So Serious led to some big free agency signings, notably Pete Nguyen. They took on Slob Kabobs, who are kind of last years Sloppy Seconds, plus or minus a couple players. Pete seemed to be fitting in well with his new team and Alex Buchilis had a great day on offense. SK’s defense couldn’t do a thing against Chris Cole’s offense and PE came away with the win, 53-30. Heather Cepuchowski seemed uncoverable in the corners during the time that I watched, scoring multiple TDs.

Eyes Downtown took on Losing Streak for their D1 debut. Bobby seemed to have some new faces again but notably Jordan Neidig was back in the mix making big catches for his team. Johnny “Football” Yioulos made his ED debut and seemed to be an early favorite for the WR1 spot for Bobby. LS had some early personnel issues; I believe I saw QB Jordan Lawson play defense, which usually means there are not others available. Chris Nelson and Ralph Finney were there however, and kept things interesting. This game was close, LS tied it up in the closing minutes but ED was able to rally back and pull out the victory 40-34.

In D2, A&A took on Notorious BNB, who appear to be another cast-off Sticky Bandits team. Alex Buchilis and Garrett Beesing had a great connection throughout the game, with Garrett making phenomenal catches included a one-handed TD. A&A looked they added some new personnel (and a lot of height) with Jon Allen, Jay Jaskier and JJ Wilson. Another back and forth battle, these teams both turned it on for offense then displayed some underwhelming defense. Amy Taylor threw a TD pass to put her team within 1 on their last drive but they failed to make the conversion and A&A came away with the win 37-36. Casey Lawler gave Buchilis nightmares rushing; I’m pretty sure I heard someone say after the game she had 3 sacks in one drive.

Scared Hitless is giving D2 another shot and they came out strong for their first game of the season against Bullet Club. Once again, BC had some attendance issues and had to find some last minute subs (I’ve also heard because the sub rules were not followed, this game would have been a forfeit anyway had BC won). Regardless, SH trotted out their newest addition, Melanie Linsmair, who BC had no answer for. Johnny Football was back in this game as well and making big plays using his speed. Jeff Reynolds had a solid game on defense.

Bullet Club had to come immediately off that game and take on Top Shot, who considered going to D1 but chickened out. Dylan Jaloza, and the rest of Top Shot, have something to prove after the way their season ended last year. Sean Weisansal put on a clinic. Scotty Dro was in attendance for BC this game after, and I quote, “abandoning them”, for their season opener in favor of his other team. Unfortunately, BC just did not have the personnel needed to run with TS and came away 0-2 on the day.

Passed Our Prime beat XTC, 54-53. Yes, you read that right. After considering moving down due to a rough season last year, POP decided to man up and they were rewarded with a big win. In a game that saw very little defense, XTC had the lead pretty much all game until the very end when Jeremy Olson and Co were able to march down field and steal the victory right out from under them. Kyle Conniff was a big add for POP so I’m curious how this team will fare with a few more reliable guys.

In D3, Last Dance (formerly WolfPack) took on Show Me Dem TDs. John Senn said he was going to revamp and move up despite a less than ideal season last year. They were missing their QB, Tim Zielinski, so trying out a rookie at D3 rarely goes well. With Ward Blewitt leaving us for greener pastures, LD signed free agent Ricky Austin to fill the QB role. The talk of the media around Ricky had always been which Ricky is going to show up, Good Ricky or Bad Ricky, so I’m interested to see if that narrative will continue. Based on Week 1 performance, Good Ricky seemed to prevail early as LD took an easy 48-22 victory.

Frodo Swaggins and 4th and Dong tied, 34-34. I mentioned Scotty Dro’s “other team”. Turns out, he signed an off season contract with his former team. Time will tell if the Scotty-Garrett connection will make for glorious highlight reel plays, or just more bickering between these two. 4th and Dong are The Kellers, all finally reunited after Katie Keller decided to step away from her gender team so she could help her family return to their former glory. You just don’t see loyalty like that these days.

Cobblestone shocked the world when they moved up to D3. They continued to shock us as they whooped Super Freaks, 46-18. Super Freaks is Ralph Finney’s second team with him at QB. They looked like they might have some work to do if they want to compete at this level but some familiar faces tell me they will find a way. Daryl Carr was back with his family and the Lattuca’s and they put on quite the show to get this season started.

The Angels took on Untouchaballs who added some talent to beef up their roster. Jeremy Burr was in at QB while Jaime McCabe added another speedy receiver. Matty Ice led his team on offense well but they could not get a stop when they needed one on defense. Melanie Linsmair was a monster on offense for the Untouchaballs, scoring the majority of their TDs. Robin Makula was the newest addition to the Angels and had some big catches. The Untouchaballs came away with the victory, 45-32.

In D4, Practice Squad took on Buffalo Vice. There is some controversy over the QB as Andy Clark is reportedly out for the season so BV added Seth Molisani. Allegedly, complaints have been filed with the Board of Directors so things may get shaken up a little come next week. Regardless, both teams played great. Dan Gonzalez continued to get downfield for the deep TD pass, regardless of how many guys are covering him. Caitlyn Mason lost no speed in the offseason, giving B a headache and literally 6 seconds to get rid of the ball. B ran his team well. Ashtin Fiegel showed some serious route running skills. BV came away with the win, 43-34.

Pucket All Stars trounced Vaspian, 30-8.  TJ Ferguson was back for PAS with some added speed in Joe Schwab of the now dissolved All We Do is Quinn. Vaspian is now Drew-less so they moved down to D4 but they continued to struggle to get an continuity going throughout the game. Hopefully roster issues were to blame or its going to be another long season for Vaspian.

Itches and Oh’s beat newcomers Gucci 43-40 in a tight battle. Apparently, the rumors are true that Gucci’s regular QB is Kelly Kane, once she makes her debut after dealing with some personal things. Frank Laudico filled in this week and put on a solid performance. Steven Moser continued to utilize their solid game plan of taking what the defense is giving them. Laura Streeter raked up a ton of YAC after a quick pitch off the line. Jeremy Streit also had a solid game down field by running solid routes and getting lost in coverage.

In D5, only Spinelli’s Plumbing and 716 played. I did not see enough of this game to report, although I did see that Spinelli’s lost, 36-27. 716 is a new team with some familiar faces so I will be sure to check them out and see what they are all about.

Lastly in D6, Victorious Secrets demolished Graves Bros, 42-12. Jordan and Co may have been practicing in the offseason as they looked solid and GB did not have an answer. They then had to go on and play TMA immediately afterwards. TMA were missing Nick Smith, Rob Rummings and Ryan Henry but still were able to come out with a victory, 34-32. Johnny Dio was back at QB for TMA and utilized his females well. He found Diana Bernal in the back of the endzone for the game winner in the closing minutes of the game.

I didn’t see the Travis Henry Kids vs Lenny’s Ladies game but I did hear that due to injury, Joe K left the game so Chris Cole came in to replace him. I thought that could go one of two ways: Chris Cole uses his 20+ years of experience to led the ladies to a  victory OR Chris Cole’s left handed rocket throws off the ladies catching ability and THK takes an easy win. The latter proved true based on the final score of 52-28.  

That’s all for this week. I will be sure to check out the teams I missed soon, especially the new additions. If there is a person you think deserves my attention, make sure you let the Godfather or Topper know. I’d rather focus on new faces and teams each week but if the big names are the ones making the big plays, that’s who gets the press. So if you want to be on that list of big names, be impressive. I will leave you with my Top 5 notable players/teams/plays of the week:

1. Melanie Linsmair- my prediction is she could be a notable every week but let’s give credit when it’s due early, she was unstoppable

2. Mike Mckenrick- went 2-0 for Falconies with a solid performance in both games

3. Talia Calabro- played a great game for Freeballers both offensively and defensively

4. Amy Taylor- in both games I saw her play in, she had fantastic catches and defensive break ups. Also, as I mentioned she threw what could have been the game winning TD pass if her team converted the extra point.

5. All of you who stepped up to ref. It’s a thankless job no matter what level competition or what sport you’re in but without you all, we wouldn’t have the best league in the world.

Until next time, I’ll be watching…