So Week 5 had an interesting, wet start. Everyone arrived at the fields bright-eyed and bushy tailed ready to play some Breakfast Club football when all of a sudden a bolt of lightning was spotted nearby. Mandatory safety measures were implemented so everyone went to the patio to wait it out. Not 2 minutes later the skies open up and it was torrential downpours for 45 minutes. Teammates of players who were not at the fields yet had their phones blowing up with inquires of “Are the games canceled?”. But we persevered and the co-ed football gods were gracious enough to let us proceed with our scheduled programming, minus Breakfast Club. After that it ended up being a beautiful day resulting in several sunburnt faces and shoulders. As mentioned by my colleagues, Memorial Day weekend always means double headers for those that were there, bye weeks for people who looked ahead at a calendar and short benches for those who did not. Public EnemyFrodo SwagginsUgandan Warriors and No Punt Intended all went 2-0 on the day while Morning Wood and The Bambs fared less well going 0-2. Let’s discuss…

Public Enemy took on #XTC@Angry Buffalo in a close battle that ended with PE on top by only 3 points. Nick Sooch was back in midseason form making all the difference for this team considering the scoring differential in their last match up with this team. PE may have been more concerned about Heather’s birthday and the Jello shots on the sideline. Their defense was less than spectacular, one more bounce XTC’s way and this game could have had a much different ending. PE beat Tight Ends in Motion later in the day, continuing their undefeated streak. They certainly didn’t do it with flying colors though, as this game was won by 1 point. PE dominated the first half coming into half time up 2 scores. Their defense picked up the pace getting 3 picks for the team. TEIM marched right back in the second half, picking off Cole on the first play of the drive which resulted in a gender TD to start them off. It came down to the final minutes when TEIM scored a TD to come within one point. Ricky Austin went for the win. The game (and PE’s win streak) was theirs for the taking but Ricky threw the ball high out of the back of the end zone and co-ed football immortality passed them by. Such a heartbreaker…

Come From Behind took on Matty’s Angels with Topper in at QB. Both teams were not afraid to throw the ball and both defenses could not make a stop. Topper clearly understands the way to beat a gender team is deep balls to the tall guys not covered by Matty Ice. However, this strategy appeared to work for the MA’s as well except Matty threw it to any and every female on his team. This was a close one for 50 minutes, ending with MA on top 45-40.

TMA and Practice Squad played what was a close game at the start but ended far from it, with PS besting TMA 34-6. By half time, both teams were right in it. The management of PS made some half time adjustments and starting using their speed, TMA’s kryptonite. TMA had Rob, who I learned this weekend is Drunk Meg’s brother, so they had offensive weapons. They were also able to limit the productivity of PS’s girls, not an easy task as Renee is no joke. PS is proving to be a formidable opponent in R4, next week’s match-up between them and Jabronies will be a must watch.

A&A played Bullet Club in what started out as a blow out with A&A up 22-0. Travis Clev was back at QB for BC, however it looked like they finally had enough guys to even have people on the sidelines! Girls were the attendance problem this week as they had Katie Keller in as a sub. Travis got off to a rough start and BC’s defense could not stop the deep throws despite the plays being called out from the sidelines. A&A was short their usual girls but had their usual height and speedy guys. In the second half, BC regrouped and came back to win 38-22. Travis had a huge game on defense and Matty Ice and his receivers could not get back to the rhythm they had in the first half. Katie Keller caught a great deep pass to finish off the game.

The Ugandan Warriors played a struggling Five Star Generals, beating them 61-6. FSG finally got a win last week but that high came to an abrupt stop against Blasé and Co. To add insult to injury for FSG, Blasé played in jorts. Bold move Blasé, but if you’re going to pull something like that, don’t half ass it and wear shorts underneath. Commit! Matt Keita is back with his former ACE teammates and made some big plays for the UWs. FSG did not have their usual QB and the new guy couldn’t feed his receivers accurately. On a positive note, the red headed female on this team is someone to look out for. UW also have solid females as well as Frank who goes out there every game trying to make highlight reel plays. Later in the day UW played Hope N Ruin beating them 27-6. Big day for Uganda, let’s hope they can keep up whatever offense they ran this week. 

Frodo Swaggins and Ultimate Warriors went at it with UW coming up 1 TD short. I know it probably doesn’t make it any easier, in fact it could make it worse, but UW’s last 3 losses were within 1 TD or less. When will this team put Sam in at permanent QB? You have the one female in the entire league that can consistently and accurately throw, why not utilize her all the time. You have the athletes for her to throw to, take the 8 points per TD and let the woman play! Frodo Swaggins appear to have found a new QB, allowing Garrett to go back to WR1. Between him and Nick Buzcek, this team will be sure to give AWDIQ a run for their money the second time around.

Morning Wood and Peachy Platoon played at noon once the weather made it to the hottest point of the day. Dean Thompson proved he can launch the ball and his receivers proved they can go get it. Morning Wood continued to struggle and their schedule this week was not their friend. After a 22-30 loss and a small bench against PP, MW went up against Division leader All We Do Is Quinn and hit a wall. AWDIQ won 28-6 despite the defensive efforts of Dave Wilbern and the guy with the beard. Dave and Rachel Parker did all they could on offense as well but it was not enough against the speedsters and girls of AWDIQ.

Energy Buff beat a once again Dubey-less Title Shot team. It was a close game but I must say I have been impressed with what I’ve seen from EB recently. They are finally utilizing the assets that they have and playing to their strengths. They were missing Ben Stack and Kate and had Mai subbing for an extra female. Title Shot was also short players and brought in Garbacz to show everyone that he’s still got it. Award winning Tommy Hughes does what he does best and called plays that EB had trouble defending, particularly when utilizing his females, Jill and Devon. These two have easily the best hands collectively of any female tandem in the league and their catches and TDs kept TS in this game. To EB’s credit, they started catching on to TS’s play calling and adjusting accordingly. The guy with the glasses did have about 4 drops though. Sorry man, I gave you props when I saw you do well, going to need you to pick it up out there.

The Jabronies played the Bambs handing them a 41-27 loss. QB Joe Miano looked to be on point, both throwing and scrambling around to gain his receivers time to get open. They also had TEIM’s Alex and Kleckler on the sidelines as managers. The Jabronies weren’t afraid to try some trick plays and it paid off. The Bambs had difficulty making stops on defense and connecting on offense. If this team wants to make it past Week 1 of the playoffs, they need to work on getting both sides of the game together.

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers played a double header this week first against Puckett All-Stars then No Punt Intended. They were able to best PAS 39-20 but fell short against NPI immediately after. Fatigue may have been a factor but in this world sometimes that’s the hand you’re dealt. URTT and PAS know each other well. I would say that was the advantage for URTT but PAS has been struggling hard this season aside from an unexpected win over GLBS. Tim missed too many targets in the NPI game that he was making earlier in the day. Their females were their usual brand of awesome, Jackee grabbed everything that wasn’t overthrown to her and the girl rushing was making life hard for both QBs. Despite the missed targets, the game was won until Tim threw an unnecessary ball which was picked off by Kyle Conniff with under 2 minutes left in the game. You can throw the ball away Tim, come playoff time, that kind of mental lapse in judgment is going to make for some angry teammates and fans. Kyle looked dialed in for NPI against GLBS as well. He has females that can run and guys with some wiggle. Scoring a combined 83 points in their double header this team is creeping up the rankings. GLBS lost QB Josh to injury during the first half resulting in Glenn Bird being called up to play QB. NPI already had a significant lead by this point. GLBS fared much better in their first game against Hung Buffalo, pummeling them 26-8. HB appeared to be missing some of their guys but GLBS showed what had got them to this point in the season thus far.

The BiPolar Express also played a double header going 1-1 on the day. First team up was pAssless Chaps, headed by Coach Jay. BE could not get anything going on offense. Drop balls and a couple picks earned PC their first win of the season and a shutout to boot. Later in the day BE played The Bambs. If I were a betting man, I’d have been confident the reverse outcome of BE’s games would be the case but alas I’d have lost that bet. Fortunately I am not. They got their first win of the season with a shutout as well, putting up 18 points on the Bambs. Gordon is really starting to connect with his ladies. Renee and Sarah both had outstanding games and the whole team has come a long way defensively. The Bambs did have a short bench as they were missing many of their key players.

Top 3 of the Week:

1. pAssless Chaps and BiPolar Express for getting their first wins AND shutouts of the season.

2. Ugandan Warriors who, not only combined for 88 points in their double header week, but also rapidly climbed the charts making for another Blasé vs Angels rivalry matchup that was denied to us last time when ACE played in the league.

3. No Punt Intended with special emphasis on Kyle Conniff for leading his team to 2 victories and having the game winning pick in one of them.  

Let me conclude by saying my name is The Sentinel which comes from the word ‘sentry’ meaning one who watches. That said, watching is all I do so if you want to raise awareness for your team, yourself or your teammate, make something happen worth watching. There is talent all over this league and in every division. I can’t be at all the games but if I see from Field 2 someone making big plays over at Field 5 I’m going to head down in that direction. If I’m over at Field 5 and hear cheering and applauding from Field 1, I’m going there. Remember, my job is to watch so give me something worth seeing. See you next time…


~ courtesy of...The Sentinel