Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  If you've read our article in the past (if for no other reason than to complain about how wrong we are) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top QBs in the League and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down.  We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather if you want better writing) so we typically lean heavily on graphs and stats instead... at least, we do after a few weeks, when there's significant enough data to bother sharing.  In our season opening articles we also make a few predictions for the session and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from previous articles.

 

So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:

 

“There are 49 teams in the TSL this season!  Are you going to show rankings for all 49 starting QB’s every week?”

Not even close.  At minimum, the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week.  We always expand as the season goes on, so you'll see a Top 15, Top 20... last season we got to a Top 25, so we do try to be inclusive.

 

“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”

In a word: yes.  The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the absolute best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best.  We will absolutely be acknowledging the performances (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well, but it's rare that a lower division QB will crack the Top Ten or Fifteen, and that's the way it should be.  Generally speaking, if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session.  The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.

 

"Are gender team QBs treated differently in the Rankings?"

Not really.  A team's a team, and although gender team scores tend to be a little higher (every TD = minimum 8 points) we don't see much difference.  It takes skill to win with men; it takes skill to win with women.  The biggest knock on gender teams is that they tend to play in lower divisions and as we said above, we do factor THAT into our rankings.

 

"How are you ranking backup QBs if they come in and play better than some other team's starter?"

Generally, we're only ranking one QB per team, even if you've got a player on your bench that you think could be a successful starter elsewhere.  And for teams with unreliable QBs who don't show up often enough for us to even KNOW who the starter is, we often leave them out of our rankings entirely... as they say, the best "ability" is "availability".  If you want to get ranked, show up and play as often as you can.  

 

"I'm new to this League and people don't know me yet!  How do I get ranked when I'm still an unknown?"

For starters, you should play really well.  If you're scoring a lot of points, we WILL notice you.  There are several new teams this session, so we probably DON'T know who you all are yet.  We no longer have our own email address, so if you want to tell us about your QB, why not email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and introduce yourself?  And please, please be patient.  If you're the highest scoring team in the League in Week 2, that doesn't mean we're anointing you as the next Joey Batts just yet.  Keep at it, play well, and we promise eventually we will recognize you.

 

“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”

Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you.  In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best male receivers, best female receivers, best at bar …  ranking anything is always fun.  Unless we rank you last, of course.  

 

“You keep saying ‘we’.  Who is writing this?  Who determines these rankings?”

Don’t worry about who’s writing this.  Let’s be honest: If you knew who was on our Committee (there's a few of us), you would incessantly whine to them about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week.  Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.  

 

And that's how the Power Rankings work.  We expect it's going to be an incredible season, with fifty-ish teams battling for TSL supremacy.  Our official bold predictions for this year (with the benefit of one week already being in the books, of course): 

 

• Two Tuddies vs PowerPuff Girls run it back in the Finals... but this time with both teams in D4.  
• Speaking of Two Tuddies, they will win more games than Three Tuddies and Four Tuddies combined.
• Puck Bunnies will make it to the D6 Finals in their first season.
• Legends will lose a game this season to a team NOT named Eyes Downtown or Sticky Bandits.
• D-Generation XYZ will play in the D3 Finals game.  No predictions as to who wins it.
• Every team in D5, except for Bridget & Quit It, loses at least two games.

 

But what do we know?  We went 1 out of 6 on last season's bold predictions:

• Come From Behind makes it to the D4 Finals… but lose the game [Didn't happen]
• What a Dump defeats Eyes Downtown in the regular season… but Eyes Downtown wins the playoff matchup (IF they meet in the playoffs at all) [Also didn't happen - who knew Bobby could replace one of the best rosters in the League and IMMEDIATELY be a contender?]
• Every team in D5 loses at least two games.  Too tough a division to go undefeated (or even 7-1!) [PowerPuff Girls went undefeated, AND the Tuddies went 7-1!]
• TSL Legend Joey Batts wins ZERO championships this Spring, after winning every single game in the Fall [He won the D1 championship, though not D3]
• The Wanderers finally win their first TSL championship this Spring, winning by less than 6 points in the Finals game [They lost in the semifinals again!]
• Out of the three truly “all new teams” (Show Me Your TDs, Mo Chicken, Raw Milkers), Raw Milkers will finish with the best record this season [We DID get this one right... but it was basically a coin flip, since everyone knew Show Me Your TDs was going 0-8]

 

So there you go.  Let's get to the first QB Power Rankings of the Fall 2025 Season.  

 

As always, we do NOT overreact to one week's worth of games in our first Power Rankings of the season.  You also might not see MANY new people yet because we need a larger sample size to see how some of these changes play out.  Sorry if you don't like it, but if people are good enough, their stock will rise quickly and we'll get them Ranked over the next few weeks.  

 

Here are your Top Ten starting QBs in the TSL:

 

 

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat Unit Ha Ha 52-14

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 49-14

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Beat Mavericks 52-8

Let's just do the "top tier QBs" together this week, okay?  All of them scored about 50 points, all of them won by a ton... and none of them had a "statement" win.  Legends beat a brand new team (kudos to Unit Ha Ha for starting right in D1), Eyes Downtown beat a team without their starting QB (who IS the QB for Freeballers going to be anyway?) and Sticky Bandits beat a team playing their first game in D1 (after winning D2 twice in a row, but still, new-ish D1 team).  So, no surprises here.  The top three remain the top three because they're in a tier of their own right now (at least, until Dougherty is ready to jump to D1).

 

#4 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 40-29

Honestly, we barely remembered how the last season ended for Can't Touch This.  We had to double check to be sure (they lost in the Finals to Mavericks) because it SEEMED like they just murdered everyone all of last Spring.  Well, they're back to their winning ways it seems, with an easy(ish) win over Grey Hair - Don't Care to start the Fall session... their LAST Fall session in D2, we assume.

 

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Lost to What A Dump 28-27

If Legends and Eyes Downtown are in a tier of their own on top of D1, then Frodo Swaggins and What a Dump seem to be in their own tier in the middle of the pack (Sticky Bandits seem to bounce from tier one to tier two, season to season).  These are two great teams that don't get a ton of recognition (yet) because they're not playing in the championship games every season, but they're so clearly in the top five teams in the TSL.  Frodo lost on Saturday by a point.  We would love to see the rematch of these teams.

 

#6 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 28-27

See Frodo Swaggins commentary above.  Maybe it isn't fair to say What a Dump "isn't playing in the championship every season"... partly because this is only their second freakin' season in existence, and partly because all the players on this team HAVE played in a million championships before (between Eyes Downtown and Tight Ends in Motion and Margo's teams etc).  The biggest thing this team needed last season was more experience for Cody at QB, and now we're seeing what he can do with a full season under his belt.

 

#7 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for Wanderers this week.  Remember when they beat everyone last season, then lost in the playoffs??

 

#8 Jordan Lawson – Mavericks / Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 52-8 (Mavericks), lost to Jabronies 38-23 (Scared Hitless)

This season Jordan has (checks notes...) LEFT Freeballers, promoted Mavericks to D1, joined Scared Hitless in D2, and... subbed for Freeballers again in D1.  Whatever happened to Losing Streak?  His teams lost twice on Saturday (thrice, if we're counting the subbing for Freeballers, which we aren't) but both should be fine this season.  Scared Hitless might be a LITTLE bit closer to a Championship game than Mavericks right now, but that says more about the state of D2 (which is very winnable, since Legends do not play in that division) than it does about the teams themselves.

 

#9 Andy Strug – The Malones

Last Week:  Beat Jabronies 38-12

The Malones only lose to two teams historically: Can't Touch This... and the one that just moved up to D1.  So... we're all just expecting them to play in the D2 Finals game, right?  Is anyone betting against that?  If they were, Week One of the Fall season should make them bet again.  Jabronies are a GOOD team, and Malones won that convincingly.  

 

 #10 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week:  Lost to The Malones 38-12, beat Scared Hitless 38-23

The Jabronies looked great against Scared Hitless.  They did not look as great against the Malones.  That's kind of the identity of this team right now isn't it?  Able to hang with any team OUTSIDE of the first tier in D2, but they struggle against Malones and Can't Touch This?  To be fair, most teams struggle against those two.  If Miano has aspirations of hoisting the D2 championship trophy, he'll need to figure that out soon.

 

 

Fancy Statistics Section

Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)

 

 

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

 

What's YOUR ranking?