TSL Power Rankings

Login Form

Weather

WEEK 8 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Wednesday, 18 June 2025 18:04; Published: Wednesday, 18 June 2025 18:04; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 143

Welcome back to the final TSL Quarterback Power Rankings of the season!

Yes, unlike our way more productive colleague the Godfather, we don't write articles during the playoffs. Although we did produce a lot more content than the Sentinel this year, so we’ll pat ourselves on the back for that…

For playoffs, we like to sit back and just watch the show, the fireworks, the bloodbath, whatever you want to call it, without having to analyze anything. So, with this being our last article of the year, we've saved a lot for you. We have our final Top 25 Quarterbacks of the year (spoiler: not a lot of movement this week, as VERY few teams beat someone seeded higher than themselves on Saturday) and then our usual playoff division analysis where we look at each playoff race in detail to pick out any trends in the data we can find. Plus, some other stuff.

This will be our longest article of the year with lots of time-consuming charts and graphs so we skipped the individual QB write-ups this week and just included the Power Rankings themselves. You don't need us to tell you how good or bad your team's QB is at this point… your record speaks for itself!

***

Division by Division Review of the TSL

For our final analysis of the season, we're going to show you the following:

The breakdown of best offenses, defenses and net point differentials per division. We backed forfeits out of all of our numbers below (in case you’re wondering why the totals don’t match what you see in the Standings for some of these teams) and then we tried to color each team's data by their official jersey colors. Of course half of this league apparently uses the same colors, so it's not perfect (sorry Cunning Stunts for your sexist pink coloring!)
A graph of average point differentials per game for each division with a similar "Favorites, Contenders, Pretenders" logic we've used in previous seasons (if you're winning games by an average of 7+ PPG, you're a Favorite in green; if you're losing by an average of 7+ PPG, you're a Pretender in red; all other teams are yellow in the middle; these are not OUR judgments on who falls into each category, it's strictly based on the math of your team's point differentials). For what it's worth, in the last eight seasons that we've been showing these graphs, we've had 31 eventual division champions classified as "Favorites", 23 as "Contenders", and exactly zero as "Pretenders". Favorites won 5 divisions last Spring, compared to only one contender.
A quick twitter sized (or "X sized") recap of the division heading into playoffs, and then identifying which teams are "overrated" and "underrated" in each group. Note that these last two categories are based purely on what we see in the scores and stats, NOT our own personal feelings of players on each team (we might personally think Balls Deep are overrated, but if the underlying numbers say their team is underrated, that's where we'll include them below) so TRY not to be offended thinking the "website is being mean". We're just reading numbers off a website, man. Relax.

And away we go!

Division 1

The Headline: Legends STILL the heavy favorites, Eyes Downtown have a real chance, everyone else are underdogs.

Underrated: Here are the point differentials of every “second worst team” in their divisions: Jabronies -11.4 PPG, 716 -11.6 PPG, Come From Behind -8.3 PPG, Stir the Sauce -15.4 PPG, Irish Giants -7.6… and What a Dump at -4.0. We’re not saying this is a great team. They’re fifth in D1 in wins/losses, fifth in point differential, fifth in offense, and fourth in defense, so they’re pretty much exactly where their stats say they should be. But as a “second worst team in their division”, is the gap between them and the contenders REALLY that big? Throw out their two losses against Legends (and their win against a D2 Crossover team) and EVERY game this season was within 10 points. Is it really so hard to imagine a couple lucky breaks going their way in the playoffs?

Overrated: Frodo Swaggins are the #3 seed in the Division, on the strength of having the third best offense… but their point differential says they should be fourth, their defense says they should be fifth, and they also had the good fortune of playing Freeballers twice this season to pad their record a bit. Against the top two teams in the Division (both of whom they’ll likely to have to beat on June 28^th to win a championship) they were outscored 89-24 in the regular season. We’re not saying this isn’t a great team (you can’t finish in third place in D1 and NOT be a great team) but we are saying the gap between #2 and #3 is pretty sizeable this season.

Division 2

The Headline: Are the Malones the only ones who can stop Can’t Touch This?

Underrated: Oh, this is an easy one. When we look at point differentials, what do most D2 teams have in common? They all got to beat the shit out of Show Me Your TDs exactly once to massively pad their stats. The only team that did NOT get a free blowout win? The Jabronies, who finished the season at -80 on points. If they beat the worst team in TSL history 80-0 (like everyone else) their point differential could have gone from -11.4 PPG to even! Would that be enough to put them into the Can’t Touch This/Malones/Mavericks tier? No, but it would put them higher than Scared Hitless (who they beat TWICE this season).

Overrated: The Mavericks finished with a 5-3 record, good for second place in the division. But look at the chart above and you’ll see that it’s Can’t Touch This and the Malones that are the top two teams in offense, defense, and total point differentials. Mavericks finished third in each category, and their two games against Can’t Touch This were… not very inspiring (they were outscored 99-31). If D2 is Can’t Touch This’s division to lose (and it is), then the Malones look like their biggest threat this season, not the Mavericks. And unfortunately the Malones vs Mavericks is already a lock for the semifinals, so Mavericks can’t even hope for the Malones to do them a favor and knock out Can’t Touch This for them.

Division 3

The Headline: One of the most even divisions in the TSL from top to bottom… except the Wanderers are a class above the rest.

Underrated: In terms of actual odds of winning the championship, most of the early rounds don’t matter a whole lot - if the D3 championship is going to come down to Wanderers vs Everyone Else, then it begs the question of which team plays the best against the undefeated Wanderers? Only two teams came within 8 points of the Wanderers all season: Becca Gets Reccked (who have seemingly had a different sub QB every week) and PWI. Passing While Intoxicated has the third best record in the division but the second best point differential, and they fell to Wanderers 55-52 just a few weeks ago. Okay, so they can’t play defense, but that offense is pretty damn good when it needs to be. If you’re looking for a spoiler, it’s Buddy Lee and PWI.

Overrated: Four teams in D3 finished with three wins this season, which at a glance would suggest that they’re all ABOUT equally good. They’re not. Bullet Club finished with a positive point differential. Becca and Buffalo Vice both finished just under, at about -5 PPG. The fourth three-win team was 716, who finished at -11.6 (WELL behind even two-win D-Generation X Y and Z) and with the worst defense in the entire TSL (outside of Cobblestone and Show Me Your TDs… but we’re not sure those really count). The good news is that 716 did beat their play-in opponent DXYZ in the regular season, so maybe they can do it again. But without the subs they’ve used so much this season (who won’t be available in playoffs) it’s hard to imagine them going much further than that.

Division 4

The Headline: Three very good teams, three hopefuls, and Cobblestone.

Underrated: There are three teams that stand out above the rest in D4 this season between ILF, Mike’s and Bird Watching in our Birkenstocks. One of them we don’t necessarily believe in as much as the others (see “Overrated” below) but it DOES seem very likely than the winner of the division comes from this group. So, who is the most underrated? We’ll take ILF here. They’ve lost one game all season by 2 points, wayyyy back on May 3^rd and since then they’ve crushed Bird Watching and barely beaten Mike’s Detailing. A six-game winning streak including W’s against their two closest rivals? We’re sold.

Overrated: Usually, we like to pick teams whose point differentials look better than their record as our most Underrated team. This time, we’re picking one as our most OVERRATED team. How could we call Bird Watching in our Birkenstocks overrated, when they have the best offense, defense and special teams in their division? Well, they were +151 on the season… but +122 of that comes in two landslide wins against short-handed Cobblestone. Take away those games, and they’re just +29 on the season, and looking way more like a Puckett (capable and dangerous, but not dominant) than an Interdimensional Lightning Falcons.

Division 5

The Headline: No one can beat the PowerPuff Girls… although Two Tuddies will try

Underrated: We’ll cheat and give you two answers: Pit Harade is ONE of the most underrated teams in the division. They have the 7^th best offense, 7^th best defense and 7^th best point differential (hey, we said they’re “underrated”, not “GREAT”)… but someone they had the 9^th best record in the division? Sounds flukey to us. Look, they’re not going to beat PowerPuff Girls right AFTER beating Stir the Sauce, that’s just too much to ask. But they’re better than a last place finish makes them look. And the other underrated team of course is PowerPuff Girls. Yes, you already know they’re undefeated and you know that they’re good, but did you know they’ve won games by an average of +31.0 PPG?? That is, in a word, INSANE. This is a team that is playing in the wrong division – we imagine they would be undefeated in D4 this season too.

Overrated: Mo’ Chicken finished their first ever TSL season at 2-6 and in 7^th place out of 9, which is really pretty good for a brand-new team. The only problem: they were actually dead last in offense… and defense… and point differential. And we think their captain is hurt too. A first-round playoff game against Two Tuddies (against whom they lost 53-8 earlier this season) is essentially unwinnable. But hey, for a first year team, they’re going to get some good experience and hopefully come back stronger in the Fall.

Division 6

The Headline: Balls Deep, TMA and Blue Ballers are the clear leaders... but upsets might be brewing

Underrated: Intentional Clowning were a trendy preseason pick to win D6 this season, after Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins moved up to D5. Instead… they finished in dead last place. But were they really THAT bad? They had the fifth best offense in the division, the 7^th best point differential, and, sure, the worst defense. But this doesn’t look like a “last place” team statistically. We don’t think they’ll beat TMA on Saturday… but we wouldn’t be shocked if the game came down to the wire.

Overrated: Irish Giants somehow went 4-4 this season, despite being 8^th in their division in total point differential and dead last in offense. Seriously, how DOES a team win as many games as they lost with a point differential that was a fraction away from being the worst in their division? We know, we know… wins and losses should matter way more than stats. But for the Giants, their first round opponent is Raw Milkers, who beat them 46-8 in the regular season. Not IMPOSSIBLE they can have a different outcome on Saturday (to their credit, Irish Giants finished the season very strong, going 3-1 including a win over otherwise undefeated TMA) but it would take a lot.

***

Top Ten Best and Worst Lists for the 2025 Spring Season

The division analysis above is the real meat and potatoes of this article, but in case you're curious how you stack up against teams in OTHER divisions, here are the top ten (and bottom ten) teams in the entire TSL for offensive points per game, defensive points per game, and average point differential per game:

What did we learn from this?? The magic numbers for us are always 20 and 40. Nearly every team in this League averages between 20-40 PPG both offensively and defensively. If you're higher than 40 offensively or lower than 20 defensively, you're doing an amazing job. If you're lower than 20 offensively or higher than 40 defensively... you're probably not winning too many games. This season we had an incredible EIGHT teams crack the 40 point mark, up from just two in the Fall. Congrats to PowerPuff Girls, our Spring 2025 scoring champs.

So if PowerPuff Girls were the BEST offense, who were the worst? This season we had 10 teams (up from 6 in each of the last two seasons) fail to make it to 20 PPG on offense. Those teams unsurprisingly went a combined 18-61 this season.

Then if we look at defenses, there were four teams (PowerPuff Girls, Blitzkrieg, Balls Deep, Can’t Touch This) that held opponents to under 20 PPG this session. There were three teams that allowed 40+ points per game (up from zero last session!) including 716, a Cobblestone team that never seemed to come together, and a legendary Show Me Your TDs squad who will go down in history for ALL the wrong reasons.

Show Me Your TDs finished the season with zero points scored, and 74.5 PPG scored AGAINST. We hope that is a record that will never, ever be broken.

Besides the "40/20 Clubs", what else do we see from the best and worst units in the League? PowerPuff Girls, Can’t Touch This, Legends, Bird Watching in our Birkenstocks and Interdimensional Lightning Falcons were the only five teams in the League to make all three "Ten Best" lists for offense, defense and point differentials. There were three teams to make all three "Ten Worst" lists, including GirthQuakes, Cobblestone (who were second last in EVERY category) and Show Me Your TDs (who were… it goes without saying… the worst in EVERY category).

***

All-Time Championship Statistics

A few years ago we compiled a list of every TSL champion in League history and devised a ranking system to see who the "best teams of all time" were. This was exhausting to research and put together, but it's now very simple to update once a session, so that's what we've done here. The timing feels right to update you all on this now JUST before playoffs so we can remind you what you're chasing here... co-ed football immortality. Here are the current immortals:

THAT part is objective - the champs are the champs, and we'd like to think history will remember their achievements for 1,000 years to come (history classes will likely debate what exactly the "Tommy Hughes Experience" was). Look closely and you’ll see that there are exactly 100 past TSL champions as of right now!

This next part though is subjective: we then attempted to compare the relative strength of each division's championships to come up with a ranking system (a D2 title is harder to win than a D4 title) and this is what we landed on:

A D1 championship is our baseline since it's the best a team can do. Let's make that worth 100 points.
A D2 title is worth, at BEST, 49% of that, since two D2 titles don't quite equal a D1 title (you can argue it should be LESS than 49%, but we've made the choice to weight lower divisions as heavily as reasonably possible here). 49 points for a D2 title.
A D3 title should be worth 49% of THAT, so about 24 points for each D3 championship.
Every subsequent division is worth 49% of the previous one, so D4 is worth 11 points, D5 is worth 5 points, and D6 is worth 2 points.
Indoor championships aren't currently worth a point (though we may revise this in the future). With apologies to DILFS, Jelly Beans, Sticky Bandits, Eyes Downtown, Losing Streak and Friendship Club, Winter sessions are often used to make new teams and play with new people. No team should be penalized in the rankings for doing that instead of entering their usual squad. We'll give them credit for "number of titles", which they've earned, but zero points awarded. Indoor championships are abbreviated as "W:A" (Winter: A) and "W:B" on the chart below, to make it a little easier to read.

It's an arbitrary system of course, but it's the one we chose. So here is the updated list of your "greatest champions of all time" going into the Fall 2024 playoffs (active teams are highlighted below; split into two segments side-by-side to make font size more easily readable):

We always debate making a change to the math above so that subsequent championships in the same division would be worth less the second time around. After all, was it fair that Puckett kept improving their standings by winning D4 over and over? Shouldn't they have moved up before this session? But for now, we decided to leave it as is.

So where does that leave us today? Legends are one win away from tying Public Enemy as the greatest team in TSL history. Eyes Downtown could jump from 5th to 3rd with another win, and Sticky Bandits from 9th to 4th. Freeballers, though considered a long shot, could also jump in to the Top Ten all-time with a D1 championship this season.

The Sticky Bandits are tied with Public Enemy and Puckett All-Stars for the most total TSL Championships of all-time with five. If they win again this season, they'll stand alone as the only six-time champions in TSL history.

Bottom line, people remember champions, not the teams who come in second place, so immortality can only be found by winning it all. Good luck!

***

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this season! We can't possibly make any other charts for you at this point (this was exhausting) and we doubt anyone has read this start-to-finish anyway.

We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts on any of the above, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us. Good luck in the playoffs.

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 7 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Tuesday, 10 June 2025 18:46; Published: Tuesday, 10 June 2025 18:46; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 122

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

We have 25 QBs this week, we have some stats (of course), and we have the ALL-TSL DEFENSIVE RANKINGS below. Enjoy!

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat 716 58-35, beat PWI 37-26 (Stunts)

Legends finished the regular season (Crossover game aside) as the #1 seed and scored the most points per game of any team in D1 (by about a TD per game)… and Cunning Stunts are tied with Wanderers as the third highest scoring team in the whole TSL. It’s closer than it looks between #1 and #2 in the Power Rankings (Legends still have better skill players than Eyes Downtown, which is a vote in Bobby’s favor) but Joey has to finish the season #1 with all he’s accomplished with BOTH teams.

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat What a Dump 18-13

When was the last time Eyes Downtown were held to only 18 points?? It’s almost like the What A Dump defense knew all of Bobby’s tricks… and yet it still wasn’t enough to get them a W, as Eyes Downtown prevailed on the strength of great defense last week. They still have a CHANCE to get the #1 seed in D1 if Legends loses to Can’t Touch This on Saturday (more on that in a second) but either way, a first round bye with an all-new roster is no small accomplishment.

#3 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat the Malones 28-26

Can’t Touch This survived the Malones to finish their regular season undefeated. Are they unbeatable in the playoffs? No, of course not. The Malones clearly plays them very well (see last season’s playoff elimination) and Mavericks COULD have a good day and sneak one out (although they DON’T seem to play CTT very well). But anyone who “predicts” a D2 winner other than Can’t Touch This this season must be a pretty desperate gambler. Ryan jumps into the top three for the first time in his TSL career.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 37-30

Frodo Swaggins finished the regular season with more points scored than the Sticky Bandits, and a head to head win at the end as well. Good enough for Garrett to jump over Mike in the Power Rankings. The gap between #3, #4 and #5 is so close this season (Joey and Bobby have run away with #1 and #2) – is this the season we see Frodo advance to its first ever D1 Finals? Stay tuned for our playoff preview next week…

#5 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 37-30

The Sticky Bandits finish their D1 portion of the schedule 3-4 and fifth in scoring within their division. This is the team that has been to the last two D1 Finals? They’re either a step off this Spring, or they’re holding something back for playoffs. At least they have the confidence to know that they’ve pulled this off before (with almost the exact same roster) so we doubt they’re too worried about it yet.

#6 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 35-26

Up until Joey Batts did it TWICE last season, the TSL hadn’t had an undefeated team in literally years. Now with a week of regular season left, the Wanderers are one of four remaining teams that still have a zero in the “losses” column of the standings. 716 has plummeted to 7^th in the division so our guess is Wanderers finish undefeated on Saturday, then easily crush whatever team gets through the play-in round the next week. But there ARE teams that can beat them (Practice Squad only last by 9!) so the semis and finals should be an interesting test for the TSL’s most famous tie dye team.

#7 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week: Lost to What A Dump 49-39 (Freeballers), Beat Jabronies 37-15, beat Scared Hitless 44-16 (Mavericks)

Freeballers will finish the regular season without a “real” win (upcoming Show Me Your TDs Crossover massacre aside) but their offense scored about as many points as the rest of the division (at least the Non-Legends, non-Eyes Downtown part of their division). If they played any kind of defense at all, they might be a .500 team. And Mavericks finished their D2 season undefeated… except for in games against Can’t Touch This, who absolutely outclassed them twice. One of these two teams COULD be celebrating their champagne bath in a couple weeks… but it’s probably not Freeballers.

#8 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 18-13, beat Freeballers 49-39

This was the grudge match that What A Dump HAD to have been waiting for all season. It was close, and they had a shot, and their defense is probably incredibly proud to have held Bobby to so few points… but a loss is a loss, and What A Dump finishes their D1 schedule winless against teams not named Freeballers. Are we surprised? A little. There’s a ton of talent on this team, so we thought they’d be closer to .500. But QBing isn’t easy (which is why so few people ever crack our Top Ten here!) and Cody will only improve in time.

#9 Andy Strug – The Malones

Last Week: Lost to Can’t Touch This 28-26

The Malones are 0-2 in the last two weeks, but they’ve lost to the top two seeds in D2 by one point and two points… the latter of which is especially impressive, considering no one’s been within 27 points of CTT all season. These guys aren’t the “Favorite” to win their division… but is there a team that the favorites are more scared to play against than the Malones right now?? If you’re looking for a team to play spoiler and ruin an undefeated season, Malones are the ones to bet on.

#10 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week: Lost to Cunning Stunts 37-26, beat Becca Gets Reccked 48-37 (Passing While Intoxicated)

Buddy is QBing for the 7^th and 8^th highest scoring teams in the TSL right now, so he must be pretty good at this. We’ve been saying all season that Wanderers and PWI are destined to meet in the D3 championship game, but PWI are now in fourth place. Are they really a worse team that Cunning Stunts and Practice Squad? Maybe. Even if PWI chokes in the semifinals, or loses to Wanderers in the Finals (which won’t be considered “choking” since they’re so good), Buddy seems likely to celebrate at least a D4 championship win.

#11 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 35-26 (Practice Squad), lost to Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 62-24 (Tater Tots)

The schedule makers didn’t do B any favors this week, giving him a Lenny & Rameer Day present of the top two seeds in BOTH of his divisions. The Practice Squad game must have been encouraging. Losing by only 9 shows they can hang with the best of them. The Tots game must have been depressing. Tough to feel like a contender when you’re down by 38 against a backup QB.

#12 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 37-15

Throw out their two wins against Scared Hitless this season, and the Jabronies have scored 7, 26, 22 and 15 points on offense in their other four games. There’s real talent on this team, but it’s tough to imagine them ripping off three playoff W’s in a row against the top teams, when two of them are AVERAGING over 40+ PPG.

#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 44-16

Remember when Scared Hitless beat the Malones 43-34?? We thought that might end up being a turning point in their season, but now it looks like just a fluke. Other than their 90-0 destruction of Show Me Your TDs, a forfeit loss to Can’t Touch This, and the aforementioned Malones upset, and they’ve lost their OTHER four games by 32, 30, 7 and 28 points. Which version of this team do we expect to show up for the playoffs?

#14 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week: Beat D-Generation X Y and Z 31-24

The next several QBs are all in the “trying to win this week to avoid the D3 play-in games” category. Bullet Club are two points behind Buffalo Vice with 716 ahead of them as well, but Bullet Club have the advantage of playing GirthQuakes this week while the teams they need to pass in the standings face Wanderers and PWI. Don’t count out Dylan’s chances this week.

#15 Andy Clark – Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Beat GirthQuakes 27-6

Buffalo Vice and Becca Gets Reccked are tied in record, and EXACTLY tied in point differential in the standings, which is pretty cool. Of course every team in D3 plays all but one other team over the course of the season, and naturally Vice and Becca didn’t/don’t play each other, so we have no way of knowing which team is actually “better”. We’re giving Andy the benefit of the doubt here because he has Buchlis beat in one category: attendance.

#16 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week: Did Not Play

No Buchlis at the fields this week, and Becca Gets Reccked went 0-1-1 in his absence.

#17 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week: Did Not Play

Was Derek here this week? Does he still play for 716? We haven’t seen this guy in ages.

#18 Kyle Conniff – PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Beat Two Tuddies 44-10

Remember when we were deciding which of the three undefeated teams would win D5? PowerPuff has beaten Tuddies and the McMuffins by a combined 105-24 in the past two weeks. This team. This team is the one that will win D5. Gun to your head, if you had to pick a winner between PowerPuff Girls and the top teams in D4 (ILF, Mike’s Detailing, Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks)… you’d pick PowerPuff Girls to win, right?

#19 Damien Keller – D-Generation X Y and Z

Last Week: Lost to Bullet Club 31-24

D-Generation X Y and Z won their first game of the season by a single point. Since then they’re 0-5-1 and not looking like the contenders we thought they would be. Do you remember what their record was last season, with more or less the same roster? They were 7-2, and finished the regular season in second place. Seems like everything that went right last season, is going wrong this season.

#20 Mark Dalfonso – Mike’s Detailing

Last Week: Beat Vaspian 37-16

Mike’s Detailing and Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks have established themselves as the clear #2 and #3 teams in D4 (in some order). They have the same record, and the exact same point differential per game, once we throw out a Cobblestone forfeit. We’re giving Mark a SLIGHT edge in the Power Rankings, because our guess is you couldn’t name more than one receiver on his roster.

#21 David Eickhoff – Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks

Last Week: Beat Vaspian 24-22

See: Mark Dalfonso, above. What are the odds these two teams meet in the Semifinals? At least 80%, right?

#22 Eric Mueller - Puckett

Last Week: Beat Come From Behind 32-30

There may be a clear top three in Division 4 this season, but it’s also pretty clear who the next team up is. Puckett finished their regular season on Saturday with a winning record, and they COULD still finish with the same record as the two teams above them (although tie breakers won’t be kind to Puckett). If anyone knows about coasting in the regular season just to up their game in the playoffs, it’s THREE TIME D4 CHAMPIONS Puckett!

#23 Matt Kieta - GirthQuakes

Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 27-6

GirthQuakes beat CUNNING FREAKIN’ STUNTS by two points earlier this season, and it felt like the coming out party of a great new team. It turns out that has been their ONLY win this season, as they’ve since slid to a 1-6 record with the worst offensive production in the division at 21.0 PPG. Do we see this team winning their play-in game in a couple weeks? It’s… not impossible. Do we see them winning a game one hour later against the Wanderers, who beat them 50-8 earlier this season? Now that IS impossible!

#24 Paul LoVullo – Come From Behind

Last Week: Lost to Puckett 32-30

Going up a division can be a real bitch. Suddenly instead of the best team in your division, you’re usually one of the worst, and that’s a difficult mental adjustment for most teams. Come From Behind have actually done really well with it this session though. If they’d scored 3 more points on Saturday they would be looking at a winning record in their first season in D4, and they still have a great shot at .500 this weekend with a win against 1-6 Vaspian. Next season (when ILF is gone) we expect CFB to be among the leaders again.

#25 Mike Wolcott – Two Tuddies

Last Week: Lost to PowerPuff Girls 44-10

Everyone loses to PowerPuff Girls. There’s really no shame in that. We doubt Tuddies wanted to get crushed by 34 points though. They’re great athletes, of course, but you’re telling us that shirtless Chris couldn’t catch a couple jump ball TDs over a girl half his height? Tuddies will be fine, and we still think we’ll see them in the D5 Finals game… but the final result will probably be similar to what we saw on Saturday.

Fancy Statistics Section

QB Rankings are too often about scoring points. What about defense??? Doesn’t defense win championships? (They SAY that, but in our experience in this League it’s usually great offenses that are in the Championship games)

Maybe they’ll win a championship. Maybe they won’t. But here are the top defenses in the league, by division:

Teams allowing under 20 PPG: Can't Touch This, PowerPuff Girls, Balls Deep, Blitzkrieg, TMA

Teams allowing over 40 PPG: Show Me Your TDs, Cobblestone

Teams allowing over 50 PPG: Show Me Your TDs

Teams allowing over 60 PPG: Show Me Your TDs

Teams allowing over 70 PPG: Show Me Your TDs

***

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 5 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 17:39; Published: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 17:39; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 177

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

We’ve been doing this article since the Spring of 2019… six years and change, without ever missing a week (take THAT, Sentinel!). Just for fun, here is our FIRST ever Power Rankings from Spring 2019. Some of these names may look familiar, while others have long since faded from the League. Let’s see what they’re up to these days!

10. Patrick “Topper” McGovern – The TSL’s most successful business owner, dog owner, and part-time podcast host, our hero is living his life of semi-retirement from football in style. Ask him about his Tim Horton’s empire!

9. Ricky Austin – Living in Atlanta, we’re told. Doesn’t B’s Brother go down to Atlanta a lot? Wonder if these guys hang out.

8. Joey Batts – Gryffindor may be dead, but Joey Batts is not. Legends and Cunning Stunts are now two of the greatest teams in the League, and Joey has been a mainstay in our Rankings since Day One

7. Matt Glowacki – Hasn’t played in the League in years. Any relation to Zach from Freeballers?

6. Alex Buchlis – Still throwing touchdowns to Dave Baker every week, just like in 2019. Some things never change.

5. Matt Newman – Gone.

4. Matty “Ice” DiTullio – Matty “retired” from football after winning the D2 championship with A&A, and spends his time dealing comic book art and traveling the world with his former D1 MVP wife. This guy’s got it all figured out.

3. Greg Chadwick –Hasn’t played in the League in forever. This guy made our first ever power rankings as an injury replacement QB for a team called Eyes Downtown where he lasted for four weeks before being replaced by some guy called… looking it up now… Bobby McConnell? Are we saying that right?

2. Brandt Dubey – Still great after all these years. Dubey still stars at QB for various teams now and then (Grover’s, Toppers All-Stars & Todd, DILFS etc). We haven’t seen the last of him.

1. Chris Cole – Won five D1 championships, retired on top. There was a rumor he moved to Iowa and still writes an article for the TSL every week, but that can’t be true… can it?

But enough about those has-beens! Let’s take a look at the current crop of superstars in our QB Power Rankings:

#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 34-16, beat Sticky Bandits 31-23

Two teams will get a bye in the D1 playoffs. By defeating Frodo Swaggins and Sticky Bandits on Saturday, Eyes Downtown picked up some crucial tiebreakers in the fight for a week off. Bobby is 4-1 this session and the ONLY quarterback to have beaten Legends this year (or even including last Fall, actually).

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Freeballers 41-16 (Legends), beat Buffalo Vice 55-38 (Stunts)

Legends haven’t mathematically locked up a first round bye in the playoffs yet… but it’s pretty darn close. If they win one of their last two games (What a Dump or a D2 crossover game) they should be a lock for the #1 seed. Lose both, and it’s POSSIBLE they could drop to #3, but very, very unlikely. Also that D2 crossover game is looking more and more like it’ll be Can’t Touch This, which is suddenly a much harder game than anyone would have guessed a month ago. Also the Stunts have gone from last place a couple weeks ago to middle of the pack in D3. Can’t wait to see the Godfather’s final playoff odds for this team.

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 31-23

The Sticky Bandits could have put themselves in the drivers seat for a #2 seed and first round bye by beating Eyes Downtown on Saturday, but they came up 8 points short. Fortunately they play Eyes Downtown AGAIN this weekend so they’ll have another chance to tip the scales on the D1 tiebreakers. Does a first round bye matter in D1? Freeballers (the team the #3 seed will face in the first round) are more capable than their 0-6 record suggests, so yes, we think the bye matters.

#4 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Mavericks 45-6

Can’t Touch This live up to their name, as they truly cannot be touched in D2 right now. With respect to the Malones, the Mavericks were their closest competition, and Ryan annihilated them on Saturday. Yes, their offense is the best in the TSL, but can you believe they’ve only allowed 31 points ON THE SEASON? Two of their five games were forfeit wins, it’s true, but their other three games they allowed 0 points, 6 points and 25 points… and that last game they won by almost 30. None of these games have been close. Crown them already, and move them up to D1.

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 34-16

We believe in Frodo Swaggins. They kicked ass in the playoffs last Fall, and they might be the smartest play callers in the league on both sides of the ball. But it’s a little troubling for them that so far their offense has put up 36, 40 and 41 points against Freeballers and What a Dump this season… and only 8, 8 and 16 against Legends, Sticky Bandits and Eyes Downtown. Those are the three teams they’ll need to beat in the playoffs to make the championship game, so at some point they’ll need to find an extra gear against the top teams.

#6 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for the Wanderers this week. A loss by PWI means Wanderers are the only undefeated team left in D3.

#7 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for What a Dump this week. They seem to have a bye week or a doubleheader every week this season.

#8 Rhace Colon – The Malones

Last Week: Beat Show Me Your TDs 71-0

Not much to write about Show Me Your TDs games, so we won’t bother. The Malones are a one score game away from a perfect record this season, which is great… but their last three games of the season are Mavericks, Can’t Touch This, and then some D1 team. Will they be the favorites in any of those?

#9 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week: Lost to Legends 41-16 (Freeballers), lost to Can’t Touch This 45-6

Freeballers was always going to be a bit of an experiment. With a new QB in a stacked division, we don’t think too many people were betting on them to win more than a couple games this regular season. Mavericks however are the defending D2 champions. It’s strange to see them sitting at .500 at this point in the season, and we STILL don’t know how good they are. They’re +17 on the season, which would drop to -56 if we threw out their 73-0 win over Show Me Your TDs… but THAT would increase to +12 if we threw out their two losses to invincible Can’t Touch This, who seem out of everyone’s league right now.

#10 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week: Beat Passing While Intoxicated 46-30 (Practice Squad)

Practice Squad started the season 0-2. They’ve won three games since then, and now they’re sitting at second place (if you believe our Standings page anyway) in their division. This team kind of reminds us of a D3 Sticky Bandits: smart enough at QB to win just about any game, but average enough athletically that they could lose any game too. The difference maker is going to have to be B if they’re going to take a shot at the Championship, and we feel like he’s up to the challenge.

#11 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 29-22

The Jabronies have won two games this season, and both have been against Scared Hitless. We’re not sure if that says more about Jabronies, or more about Scared Hitless. Do we think Jabronies can take Can’t Touch This? Not really. We don’t think anyone can. But the Mavericks game should be competitive, and Show Me Your TDs will be a blow-out. Jabronies can absolutely be a .500 team going into the playoffs, and that should be enough to lock up a winnable first round matchup (either Scared Hitless Round 3, or Show Me Your TDs)

#12 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week: Lost to Practice Squad 46-30 (PWI)

So Passing While Intoxicated CAN lose a game! We’re not sure what Practice Squad did to limit Buddy to only 30 points, but it seems to have worked. PWI is one of the most dynamic offenses in the League. We still think the D3 finals will be PWI vs Wanderers, but last weekend’s game reminded us all that anyone can win or lose on any given Saturday.

#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Jabronies 29-22

Scared Hitless have one high quality win this season against the Malones… and four losses as well (including one to the Malones that wasn’t very close). We don’t know the ins and outs of their roster every week (are they having attendance issues?) but just based on what we’re seeing from the scores, it’s hard to predict they’ll go on a run and beat three teams in a row in the playoffs.

#14 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week: Did Not Play

No Buchlis at the fields this week, Becca Gets Reccked beat DXYZ with Buddy Lee throwing.

#15 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 20-14

Twenty points isn’t what Derek is used to putting up (716 have put up at least 33 points every other week) but a win’s a win, and 716 is 3-2 right now after beating Bullet Club this week. There are only four teams with a winning record in D3 today, and 716 is one of them. Derek improved Vaspian last session, and he’s doing great work with this “new” team this Spring.

#16 Andy Clark – Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 46-34, lost to Cunning Stunts 55-38

46 points in a win and 38 points in a loss – what a “Buffalo Vice” day that is. Have these guys ever played a game where every team didn’t put up at least 30 points? (Okay don’t look that up, we know Wanderers held them to 22 points five weeks ago… our point is that they usually score a lot). Andy Clark leads one of the most exciting offenses in the League.

#17 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week: Lost to 716 20-14, lost to Buffalo Vice 46-34

Bullet Club won on opening day of the season against Practice Squad… and they haven’t won a game since. We can’t really blame it on the schedule either - they’re the only D3 team NOT scheduled to play Wanderers this season. The loss of George Lombardo certainly isn’t helping (we’re sure that Scared Hitless would agree with that too) but they’ve got to a find a way to steal a possession or two to close out these close games if they want to rebound in time for playoffs.

#18 Damien Keller – D-Generation X Y and Z

Last Week: Lost to Becca Gets Reccked 38-34

D-Generation X Y and Z are tied for the worst record in D3 right now at 1-4. The bottom four teams in the division will have to win play-in games just to make the playoffs, and DXYZ are very likely to fall into that category. The good news is, they don’t have another opponent on their regular season schedule with a winning record right now, so it’s not too late to go on a run and build some momentum.

#19 Matt Kieta - GirthQuakes

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for GirthQuakes this week. Still the best team name in the League.

#20 Kyle Conniff – PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for PowerPuff Girls this week. With two bye weeks and Kyle missing a doubleheader, PPG will go almost four straight weeks without their starting QB.

Fancy Statistics Section

Last week we looked at the "ten best and ten worst" teams in the TSL across a few different categories. It's fun to see who's much better than everyone else, or who's lagging way behind... but what about all those teams in the middle that don't get to see their names listed? Maybe a bit dull for them. So, this is an updated point differential graph showing EVERY team in the TSL, as of today. And instead of grouping every division together, we'll split each division up so you can see how you stack up against your competition. As always, green is good, red is bad. Enjoy!

It’s drawn to scale as always… except that I’m cutting off four teams a bit to make the other 44 easier to read. Can’t Touch This is a graph breaking +44.0 PPG, followed by Malones at +31.3 PPG. And on the other end of the spectrum, poor Cobblestone is -36.7 PPG and Show Me Your TDs are (gulp) -69.3 PPG. No point in distorting the graph just to show those four teams accurately.

***

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 6 QUARTERBACK POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Wednesday, 04 June 2025 17:49; Published: Wednesday, 04 June 2025 17:49; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 117

Welcome back to your TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

We’re up to a TOP TWENTY FIVE quarterbacks this year. In a league with 48 non-Breakfast Club teams, that means we’re now ranking more than half of our teams’ passers! Pretty embarrassing if you didn’t make the cut on that…

Enjoy!

#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 48-24

Eyes Downtown were a broken team in the offseason. As we enter June, they’re in striking distance of first place in D1, and they’ve locked up a first round bye for the playoffs. Say what you will about Bobby McConnell, but he knows how to play this game. Eyes Downtown won’t be the “favorite” to win their division, but we’re fairly sure they’ll have the most locked in and prepared quarterback in the League.

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat What a Dump 43-7 (Legends), tied Bullet Club 46-46 (Stunts)

Legends haven’t locked up the #1 seed yet, but they HAVE locked up a first round bye, which surprises absolutely no one. The Stunts are a more interesting team for us right now. They’re 2-2-1 on the season and sitting at +16 in point differential. Isn’t this much more fun than crushing everyone in D4? Maybe not for THEM, but this is the division this team belongs in, and their playoffs are going to be so much more interesting this time around.

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 48-24

The Sticky Bandits have scored 30+ points only once so far this season. For sake of comparison against their biggest rivals, Eyes Downtown and Legends have scored 30+ points in all THIRTEEN of their combined games so far this season. Sticky Nation is still in the hunt at 3-3, but if their goal is a championship (and we’re sure it is) they’ll need to find a way to punch it into the endzone a lot more.

#4 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Jabronies 49-22

Can’t Touch This are undefeated and have scored 45+ points in every game they’ve played this season. We were torn on whether to move Ryan up to #3… but strength of schedule still matters, and even if Ryan is the third best QB in the League (or the second best… or maybe the best…) it still didn’t feel quite right to promote him to the top when he isn’t playing against the top teams. Maybe if Can’t Touch This beat Legends in their crossover game…

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for Frodo Swaggins this week.

#6 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat Passing While Intoxicated 55-52

Fifty-five to fifty-two. DAMN, we are looking forward to the D3 championship game this season. Wanderers have two challenging games to the end the regular season between Practice Squad and 716, but they’ll be the heavy favorites in both. Should we be talking about an undefeated season at this point?

#7 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week: Beat The Malones 41-40

Can’t Touch This is the class of D2 right now. Everyone acknowledges that. But Mavericks and Malones are battling it out for the right to face them in the championship game, and based on their last two matchups, it seems like Mavericks have the SLIGHTEST of edges. How many times can they win on the last play of the game like this? These have become the most Must Watch Games in the TSL every season, so if you get a chance to watch the next one (Semifinals, June 28^th) you won’t want to miss it!

#8 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week: Lost to Legends 43-7

Excluding their lone win in the Freeballers game, What A Dump has gone from 30 points scored in their first game, to 21… to 12… to 7, in their four losses. Of course, those last two are against Legends so not surprising they’re the lowest scoring, but for a team with a new QB, you’d expect to see SOME progress throughout the season. Maybe they’re saving their best plays for the “Eyes Downtown Breakup Game” this weekend!

#9 Andy Strug – The Malones

Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 41-40

Who is the QB for this team anyway? We’re sure we saw Andy Strug throwing this week, so maybe he’s taken the starting job back from Rhace? Maybe they just alternate? Who knows? Either way, the Malones have one extremely important thing working in their favor, and that is that they are the last team to hand Can’t Touch This a loss, in last Fall’s playoffs. Would you look at that, their opponent for Lenny & Rameer Day is… Can’t Touch This. Potential game of the week (and that’s saying a lot, since there are some great matchups this Saturday).

#10 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 55-52 (Passing While Intoxicated)

Teams in the TSL are 23-1 this season when scoring 50+ points, and the only loss so far is PWI against Wanderers last weekend. What else can you do if you’re Buddy Lee?? He should be chewing out the defense this week, no one should lose a game like this. The encouraging thing was that they DID prove yet again that they can hang with the Wanderers. Have we MENTIONED how much we want to see this Championship game??

#11 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week: Lost to Puckett 60-28 (Tots), beat 716 via forfeit (Practice Squad)

Practice Squad moved into second place in D3 with a forfeit win over 716 this week, but the Tots weren’t so lucky. How did their defense give up 60 points to Puckett on the same day that ILF held them to 16? We’re not here to beat up on the Tots defense though (that’s what Saturdays are for…)

#12 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Lost to Can’t Touch This 49-22

The Jabronies have proven that they’re a very good team… when they play Scared Hitless. Against the rest of the League, they’re 0-3 so far. They’ll get their “beat up Show Me Your TDs by 70 points” game to fix their point differential soon, and then a winnable rematch with Mavericks this week. Assuming more or less everyone on both teams is present, that Mavericks game is going to tell us everything we need to know about Jabronies this week. Do they have a chance to beat the “good” D2 teams in the playoffs, or are they a tier below?

#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Beat Show Me Your TDs by a few points

Has a quarterback ever beaten an opponent by NINETY POINTS and NOT gone up in the Power Rankings the next week? This is where we are with Show Me Your TDs games ladies and gentlemen… just kind of pretending they’re not happening.

#14 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week: Beat GirthQuakes 56-40

Let’s Get Reccked have finished their last five seasons in 5^th, 5^th, 7^th, 6^th and 6^th place. BECCA Gets Reccked are in 4^th place today with three games left to play this season, and if they can beat 1-3-1 Bullet Club (possible) and steal one of their two games against PWI or Practice Squad (possible) they could have their best regular season finish ever.

#15 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for 716 last week… after a forfeit loss to Practice Squad. Boo.

#16 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week: Tied Cunning Stunts 46-46

Ties are usually such a bummer. Scoring 46 points and tying a ridiculous squad like Cunning Stunts though, almost sounds like more of a win to us. Bullet Club is 1-3-1 but they still have yet to play the only two teams below them in the standings today, so a strong finish isn’t impossible. They’ll need to jump two spots in the standings to avoid the D3 play-in games though.

#17 Andy Clark – Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Tied D-Generation X Y and Z 22-22

What’s with all these ties? Maybe it makes sense that they’re happening in D3, which is always the TSL’s most competitive division. Buffalo Vice are one of FIVE teams in their division to be at or within 1 game of .500 at this point in the season. They’re currently only ONE spot in the standings away from a first round playoff “bye” (i.e. avoiding the play-in games) so like every other team in the division, these next two weeks are going to define their (regular) season.

#18 Damien Keller – D-Generation X Y and Z

Last Week: Tied Buffalo Vice 22-22

D-Generation X Y and Z are averaging 23.2 points per game on offense. Good enough to compete, but not good enough to find themselves on the right side of the .500 line in the standings. The solution is obvious: they need another generation of Keller to bail them out. Does Damien have any grown children yet?

#19 Kyle Conniff – PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Beat Sausage McMuffins 61-14

A week ago, there were three undefeated teams in D5 a week. PowerPuff Girls just kicked the shit out of one of them, and they’re scheduled to play the other one this week. An easy win over the Tuddies this week will absolutely lock up the division for PowerPuff Girls (who look an AWFUL lot like a D4 team to us). Kyle is great, and his girls are great. No one is beating them this season.

#20 Matt Kieta - GirthQuakes

Last Week: Lost to Becca Gets Reccked 56-40

GirthQuakes are 1-5 today and the only team in D3 averaging weekly losses by more than one touchdown per game. Strangely, they don’t LOOK that bad to us when they play. A few of those L’s could have easily been W’s, and if you throw out the Wanderers massacre (which was over a month ago now) their point differential drops from -74 to a much more respectable -32. So, they’re underperforming, but they’re not out of it yet.

#21 Mark Dalfonso – Mike’s Detailing

Last Week: Beat Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks 33-22

Between ILF, Mike’s Detailing and Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks, ONE of these three teams is bound to win D4. They all have championship winning QBs, they’re the top three teams in their division on record AND point differential. So, what is Mike’s Detailing’s advantage? The Dalfonso experience factor. Do we really think a D1 winning QB is going to have nerves in a big game?

#22 David Eickhoff – Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks

Last Week: Lost to Mike’s Detailing 33-22

Between ILF, Mike’s Detailing and Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks, ONE of these three teams is bound to win D4. They all have championship winning QBs, they’re the top three teams in their division on record AND point differential. So, what is Bird Watching in my Birkenstock’s advantage? The veteran savvy of Dave, Bobby and Blase. Other teams will make tactical mistakes in the playoffs. Bird Watching will not.

#23 Eric Mueller - Puckett

Last Week: Beat Tater Tots 60-28, lost to Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 32-16

How DOES a team score 60 points at noon and then only 16 points at 2 pm? Puckett are in fourth place in the D4 standings today, but if we look at their point differential, they’re well behind the top three teams (and in fact they’re a hair behind seventh place Vaspian too!). If you’re a believer that point differential is a better predictor of playoff success than regular season record, you MIGHT be nervous about Puckett’s chances in the playoffs once they smoke some second tier team in the first round.

#24 Paul LoVullo – Come From Behind

Last Week: Did Not Play (forfeit win)

No game for Come From Behind this week, thanks to a late forfeit by Cobblestone. Paul missed a couple early this season, and now a forfeit… fortunately Come From Behind have played a thousand games in this League before, because he’s not getting a lot of practice this season.

#25 Mike Wolcott – Two Tuddies

Last Week: Beat Not So Sticky 29-28

Two Tuddies remain undefeated after a dramatic win over Not So Sticky. 6-0 and first place is, of course, nothing but good news for this team. But the real test comes this week with PowerPuff Girls. Do the Tuddies have enough firepower to keep up with a team that is likely to score 8 points per possession? Being 6-1 would still be an incredible start, but it feels like the Tuddies have their sites set on something greater than just a very good regular season.

Fancy Statistics Section

Here are the best (and worst!) offenses in the League, by division. If you're curious how you compare against the Buffalo Bills (SuperBowl era OR Josh Allen era) we've included their stats on the bottom as well. Enjoy!

***

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 4 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Tuesday, 20 May 2025 16:41; Published: Tuesday, 20 May 2025 16:41; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 251

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

As Jack Reacher once said before fighting five guys (or was it three? Two of them always run away…), “okay, now we know who’s who”. We’re at the midpoint of the TSL Spring season, and we FINALLY feel like we know who’s who. No more hiding behind an easy start to the schedule, no more excuses for a tough slate of games the first couple of weeks. You are who you are at this point. We SEE you. We JUDGE you. We RANK you.

So below you’ll find the Top TWENTY quarterbacks in the TSL. And yes, it’s Week Four, so that means you FINALLY get a fancy chart too.

Enjoy!

#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Legends 39-37

Two weeks ago, Legends beat Eyes Downtown. Last week Eyes Downtown beat Legends. Why is this enough for Bobby to take Joey’s spot at the top of the Power Rankings? Legends is the most established and talented team in the League. A few weeks ago, no one had ever heard of most of Bobby’s teammates. It’s impressive! Bobby gets the nod this week at #1.

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat What a Dump 36-12, lost to Eyes Downtown 39-37 (Legends), beat Becca Gets Reccked 44-26 (Stunts)

Imagine winning 15 games in a row for your D1 team, and then getting demoted in the Power Rankings when you FINALLY lose a game. Doesn’t feel fair right? Legends will be fine – barring a weird collapse (maybe Jeremy Burr demands to be starting Qb, and it fragments the team?) they’ll get a first round bye in the playoffs and be back in the D1 Championship game for a seventh consecutive season. Oh, and the Stunts got their first ever D3 win this week. Joey’s doing JUST FINE thanks.

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 14-8

Fourteen is NOT a lot of points, but a win’s a win and the Sticky Bandits are 3-1 with Eyes Downtown right around the corner. They’re never the trendy pick to win the division, but they’ve been in the last two D1 Finals so they always seem to figure something out in time for playoffs. Mike is still the man… if Sticky Nation’s defense is as good as we saw last week, they might have a better shot than people think.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 14-8

Holding a great team to 14 points defensively is a great accomplishment. Or at least it would have felt like a great accomplishment, if Frodo hadn’t scored only 8 themselves and lost. Maybe this is what happens when two teams have played each other so many times and know all of each other’s tricks? Frodo falls to 3-2 on the season, but the two teams they’re battling in the race for a playoff bye week are the two teams they face the next couple weeks, so at least they have some control over their fate.

#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Did Not Play

Can’t Touch This has played one competitive game this season and one slaughter. They’ve looked great in both, but is all this time off with bye weeks and forfeits going to hurt them down the line?

#6 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat D-Generation X Y and Z 35-16

When was the last time the Wanderers lost a game? Last Fall’s semifinals vs Passing While Intoxicated, we’re pretty sure. And hey, PWI is the other undefeated team in D3 right now! Division 3 has been the most wide open division in the TSL for the last few years now. Is it turning into a two horse race now with Wanderers and PWI? Ten teams, and somehow they’re the only two in the division that are over .500…

#7 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week: Lost to What A Dump 36-25 (Freeballers)

Freeballers losses this season: by 7, by 13, by 4, by 22, by 11. No, we don’t have high hopes for them against Legends this week (our guess is a 30 point loss) but What A Dump is a winnable rematch in their next game. And after that it’s the D2 crossover game vs… (checks current standings…) Show Me Your TDs? There’s a VERY real chance that Freeballers finish the season with a positive point differential!

#8 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week: Beat Freeballers 36-25, lost to Legends 36-12

What a Dump locked up their first win of the season (or really, their first win ever) on Saturday in a battle of D1 winless teams, before dropping one to Legends. No shame in that, everyone loses to Legends. Any team with a new quarterback has to be patient as he develops… but how patient will THESE receivers be, since they’re used to being contenders every year? Hopefully for Cody’s sake he gets at least a couple seasons to figure this starting QB thing out.

#9 Rhace Colon – The Malones

Last Week: Lost to Scared Hitless 43-34

We understand the argument about the two tiers of teams in D2. Can’t Touch This, Mavericks and Malones ARE essentially D1 teams, and Scared Hitless and Jabronies seem a step below them most of the time. But last week was a great reminder: it’s not a very BIG step! Scared Hitless (and Jabronies for that fact) ARE capable of winning games against The Big Three of D2, so no game should ever be considered “safe” in this division. Other than Show Me Your TDs. That feels pretty safe.

#10 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week: Beat 716 57-34 (PWI), beat Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks 51-28 (ILF)

Buddy Lee dropped two 50 point games for two different teams last week and as a result we’ve got him sitting in the TSL Power Ranking’s Top Ten. Interestingly EVERY person on our Committee had Buddy ranked tenth, which is unusual but makes us feel like we probably got this one right. PWI and ILF are both in prime position to win their divisions, and the common denominator is their scrambling, hungover quarterback.

#11 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Beat The Malones 43-34

Just when everyone (including us!) was ready to write Scared Hitless off, they pulled off a big win over a great team on Saturday. These guys have experience, speed, a TOP notch female player, and they’ve played enough games to not get rattled by a slow start. Their next two opponents are a combined 1-5, so this team could be looking at a .500 record again before long.

#12 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week: Lost to Cunning Stunts 44-26

After the top two teams in D3, the other eight are kind of a jumbled mess. Becca Gets Reccked are 1-2 after losses to the Stunts and Wanderers, and attendance seems like it could be an issue for them again this session. If this team is as good as we think they are, we would expect to see wins over Degeneration X Y and Z and GirthQuakes over the next couple of weeks. They’re really going to have step up their play by June 7^th though if they want to have a chance against PWI.

#13 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week: Beat GirthQuakes 26-22 (Practice Squad), beat Mike’s Detailing 39-22, beat Come From Behind 40-22 (Tater Tots)

B’s teams gave up 22 points defensively in all three games he played on Saturday. His offenses scored MORE than 22 each time, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you get a 3-0 week (what a great example of the kind of brilliant insight that makes you want to read this article every week). Both of B’s teams are in third place (yeah, D3 tiebreakers are weird right now) and it’s tough to say which one has a better path to a championship right now. We’ll see Tater Tots, because they don’t have to beat Wanderers and PWI to win their division!

#14 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week: Lost to PWI 57-34

716 is currently the sixth worst defense in the entire TSL (spoiler! We’re covering all of that stuff in the chart below the QB Rankings) as they’re allowing 39.75 PPG. Woof. Tough to win games when you need to put up forty every time just to have a chance. 716 is still a dangerous team when the whole roster shows up, but we’re not sure we’ve seen all of them play at once yet.

#15 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Jabronies this week. Happy Birthday-ish Joe Miano!

#16 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Bullet Club this week. Including forfeits, they are now the ONLY team in the League to have only played two games at this point in the season. So we have NO idea if we’re rating Dylan too high or too low!

#17 Andy Clark – Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Buffalo Vice this week. They’re in last place in the D3 standings, but they have two winnable games this weekend that could get them back over .500.

#18 Damien Keller – D-Generation X Y and Z

Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 35-16

So many “middle of the pack” D3 teams, it was tough for us to figure out how to rank all these QBs! Point differential, points scored, win-loss record, quality of opponent, quality of receivers… it’s like splitting hairs with most of these. Is Damien better than Andy Clark? Maybe. Is he better than Matt Kieta? Maybe. Should we hold it against DXYZ that they have Katie Keller and Travis and they’re still only 1-3? Maybe.

#19 Matt Kieta - GirthQuakes

Last Week: Lost to Practice Squad 26-22

GirthQuakes are sixth in the D3 standings somehow, but they have the tenth best win percentage? Make that make sense to us, PLEASE. Throw out their two losses to the best two teams in D3 though, and they have a 2 point win, a 1 point loss, and a 4 point loss. They’re really a very middle of the pack D3 team right now, we’re amazed that their record is what it is is at this point in the season.

#20 Kyle Conniff – PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Did Not Play

PowerPuff Girls went 2-0 on Saturday without Kyle. Hey, we’re only ranking how great these QBs are, not how essential they are to their team’s success!

Fancy Statistics Section

Okay. We're here. We kept saying "you're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then, we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful". Well, it's Week Four. The sample size is TOO SMALL TO BE MEANINGFUL, but we'll give you some "fancy stats" anyway.

You've seen this chart before, but we always like to make it the first one (and last one) of the season. Here are your best (and worst) offenses, defenses, and point differentials in the TSL through the first half of the season. As always, forfeit games have been excluded from the numbers.

What did we learn?

For starters, Show Me Your TDs are significantly skewing the numbers by being outscored 137-0 through two games (they’ve had a bye week and a forfeit loss as well). Not just the “worst team stats” listings, but also the two teams that have played against them are sitting pretty in the “best team stats” listings. This might be a very talented team in the long run… but they did not belong in the same division as Can’t Touch This or Mavericks.

We also see that a gender team is near the top of the Best Offenses list, but for the first time in years, it’s NOT the Cunning Stunts! PowerPuff Girls are also dominating the stats at the halfway mark of the season – this is another team that is maybe, probably, very likely playing in the wrong division in our mind. Does anyone believe that they wouldn’t be at least a .500 team in D4?

When we think about teams that could (not SHOULD, but COULD) be playing up a division or down a division, we look at twenty as the magic (if not arbitrary) number: if you’re winning games by 20+ points on average (Can’t Touch This, PowerPuff Girls, Two Tuddies, Wanderers), you could probably be playing up a division. If you’re losing by 20+ points on average (Mo’ Chicken, Cobblestone, Show Me Your TDs), you could probably be playing down a division. Not to pile on Show Me Your TDs anymore than we already have, but they’re losing by an average of 68 points per game… if twenty is the magic number, then they could be playing down THREE divisions, which feels about right.

And how about Dogg Pound?? Last Fall they finished as the worst offense in the entire League. Well, okay, they’re STILL in the bottom ten in offense in the League, but they are #1 in defense across all divisions! That’s pretty cool, right?

***

What's YOUR ranking?

Page 1 of 21

Start
Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Next
End