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WEEK 8 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Wednesday, 16 October 2024 20:19; Published: Wednesday, 16 October 2024 20:19; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 55

Welcome back to the FINAL TSL Quarterback Power Rankings of the season!

Yes, unlike our way more productive colleagues, the Godfather and (maybe?) the Sentinel, we don't write articles during the playoffs. We like to sit back and just watch the show, the fireworks, the bloodbath, whatever you want to call it, without having to analyze anything. So with this being our last article of the year, we've saved a lot for you. We have our final Top 25 Quarterbacks of the year and then our usual playoff division analysis where we look at each playoff race in detail to pick out any trends in the data we can find. Plus some other stuff.

This will be our longest article of the year with lots of time-consuming charts and graphs so we skipped the individual QB write-ups this week and just included the Power Rankings themselves. You don't need us to tell you how good or bad your team's QB is at this point, your record speaks for itself!

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Division by Division Review of the TSL

For our final analysis of the season, we're going to show you the following:

The breakdown of best offenses, defenses and net point differentials per division. Last season for the first time ever, we had zero forfeits to adjust for, so a nice, clean data set. This session we had 14 forfeits! Yes, half of them came from Straw Hats, but there were still many others, which of course we backed out of the data set for our analytics. Then we tried to color each team's data by their official jersey colors, but half of this league apparently uses the same colors so it's not perfect (sorry Cunning Stunts for your sexist pink coloring!)
A graph of average point differentials per game for each division with a similar "Favorites, Contenders, Pretenders" logic we've used in previous seasons (if you're winning games by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Favorite in green; if you're losing by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Pretender in red; all other teams are yellow in the middle; these are not OUR judgments on who falls into each category, it's strictly based on the math of your team's point differentials). For what it's worth, in the last seven seasons that we've been showing these graphs, we've had 26 eventual division champions classified as "Favorites", 22 as "Contenders", and exactly zero as "Pretenders". Contenders actually won 4 divisions last Spring, compared to only 2 Favorites!
A quick twitter sized (or "X sized") recap of the division heading into playoffs, and then identifying which teams are "overrated" and "underrated" in each group. Note that these last two categories are based purely on what we see in the scores and stats, NOT our own personal feelings of players on each team (we might personally think Blitzkrieg are overrated, but if the underlying numbers say their team is underrated, that's where we'll include them below) so TRY not to be offended thinking the "website is being mean". We're just reading numbers off a website, man. Relax.

And away we go!

Division 1

The Headline: The Wet Bandits are heavy favorites, with a few flawed rivals trying to catch them on a bad day. Freeballers are also here.

Underrated: Frodo Swaggins is fourth in the D1 standings, but third in offense, third in defense, and third in point differential. If the Sticky Bandits hadn't just won the championship a few months ago, and you had to evaluate all these teams based on this season alone, wouldn't you say Frodo Swaggins is the clear choice as the third best team in the League right now? And yet almost no one is discussing them as a real contender. Frodo shoots themselves in the foot sometimes by losing games they need to win, going 1-3 against D1 this session and mostly padding their record in D2 crossover games. But other than their kryptonite Wet Bandits, none of their losses were games they didn't have a shot at winning.

Overrated: The Freeballers went 3-6 this season... but if we strip out D2 teams they won't face in the playoffs, their record would fall to 0-4 with an average point differential of -18.5 PPG. They've played really well in the last month against some upper level D2 teams, and having Hogan back makes them a much better team. But they fall into "overrated" category for likelihood of playoff success until they can pick up their first "real" D1 win.

Division 2

The Headline: Three competitive teams battle for glory while Scared Hitless and Grey Hair hope for some upsets. Is there a sixth team in this division?

Underrated: Before we go any further, let's just re-run the charts above, but using ONLY the D2 games against other D2 teams, and not the D1 crossover games:

THIS is the chart you need to look at to understand the D2 playoffs. Of course one would expect EVERY D2 team's record to improve when you throw out the D1 games (Grey Hair, strangely, got worse, as their record against D1 was somehow better than their record against D2) but the most interesting situation was the Malones. The Malones went 4-5 this season against all opponents... but that includes an 0-4 record against D1 teams and a 4-1 record against D2 teams. And their point differential was MUCH better against their own division rivals. We have our own suspicions why that might be (teams used to killing their opponents in D3 might not be the best at keeping their composure when they're playing from behind against a top D1 team) but regardless of the reason, they played GREAT against their own division. Of course the Mavericks could beat them in the playoffs. Of course Can't Touch This could beat them. But shouldn't Malones be considered THE favorites right now, with the best in-division record and stats? This is the most underrated team in D2 right now.

Overrated: There are a couple ways to think about which team is the most "overrated". The Untouchaballs are losing by about 20 points per game right now and their only win this season came by a single point against a team that was ALSO 1-4 against its division. But that doesn't make them overrated statistically (they're in last place, and the stats say... that they should be in last place), it might just make them a bit overrated reputationally, since people still regard them (and rightfully so) as former D2 champions. So Untouchaballs might be getting a BIT more respect than they've earned THIS season, which makes them overrated in that sense. But the obvious choice based on the numbers is the Mavericks. Has a #1 seed ever been just +6 total points on the entire season? Sure, the crossover games skew a lot of D2 numbers, but Can't Touch This is +37 (not counting a forfeit) and The Malones are +33. Throw out the D1 games entirely, and Mavericks are a solid +6.6 PPG, which is good... but not particularly great for a #1 seed.

Division 3

The Headline: TSL's best division has five, MAYBE six contenders, and no one knows who will win.

Underrated: Practice Squad is the fourth best team in their division, but they have the best point differential. Easy choice for "most underrated team" here. Their three regular season losses were by 6 points, 2 points and 1 point, and their QB pretty FAMOUSLY brings his best game to the playoffs. We still think Wanderers are the team to beat in D3, but we wouldn't bet against Practice Squad... especially since they were the ones who ended the Wanderers season just a few months ago.

Overrated: We at the QB Rankings are big fans of Buffalo Vice, who have been a great team for a long time in this league. But this season, they clearly take the title of "most overrated team" in D3. It's not their fault exactly, but two of their three wins came via forfeit against Toppers All Stars & Todd (we blame Todd) and Straw Hats (who you'll notice we didn't even show in the standings above). So they're 1-6 in actual games played, and that one win was against Bullet Club without their starting QB. No "signature wins" on the season yet doesn't give us a lot of confidence that they'll beat Toppers All-Stars and then the Wanderers back-to-back on Saturday.

Division 4

The Headline: It's Cunning Stunts championship to lose, but Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers and GirthQuakes have a real chance.

Underrated: GirthQuakes started the season slow, with four straight losses to Select, The Herd, Creekers and Cunning Stunts (sure, there's a forfeit win over Cobblestone in there too). Since then they are 4-0 and they've won by 6, by 22, by 40 and then by 50. If you believe in momentum mattering for playoffs, this is the team that has it. Now you could argue that they've padded their stats a bit with two huge wins on the last day of the season, and that is true. But they also came within three points of beating the Stunts (who no other team has come within 18 points of beating) and they DID beat the #2 seeded Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers. Their record may show that they're only 5-4, but this is a much better team than that.

Overrated: It would be simple enough to point out that The Herd is a #3 seeded team despite having a negative point differential, and that alone would make them a decent candidate for Most Overrated Team in D4. But let's compare them to GirthQuakes, the other 5-4 in their division that they're ahead of based on an early season head-to-head win. They have very similar offenses (37 PPG for the Herd, 36.6 PPG for GirthQuakes) but look at their defenses: GirthQuakes are allowing 24 PPG defensively, and the Herd is allowing a whopping 38.2 PPG, fourth worst in the entire TSL! It's a massive credit to Mark and the offense that they've been able to win more games than they've lost this season giving up THAT many points. In fact among the 11 teams with the worst defenses in the League, the Herd is the ONLY team with a winning record (the rest being a combined 24-66). It's impressive that they can keep up with most teams on the strength of their offense... but isn't there a VERY talented opponent in D4 that's going to score gender touchdowns on just about every drive?

Division 5

The Headline: Come From Behind and PowerPuff Girls should meet in the Finals, right? Right???

Underrated: Spinelli's are the last place team in D5 going into the playoffs... but they don't look like a last place team to us. Sure, their defense sucks (last in their division, 11th worst in the TSL) but their offense is third BEST in their division, and their point differential says they should be about a fifth place team. Not great, but also not a last place pushover. PowerPuff Girls will be the favorite in their first round matchup, but not by that much, right? Spinelli's lost by 12 the first time these teams played way back in Week One... and then by only two points in the rematch a few weeks ago. If you're looking for a #8 seed to bet your paycheck on in the first round: this is the one.

Overrated: Two Tuddies had a great season finishing in third place with a 6-3 record. Considering they were 0-7-1 last season, this is a massive improvement. (Do we still do a Most Improved Team Award at the banquet?) That said, they finish the season only at +1.1 PPG point differential which is fairly average; they ended the season on a 2-3 stretch after starting 4-0; and most importantly, there are question marks around the health of their QB1. We're not sure if Mike Wolcott is healthy yet, but they've been using a lot of sublist QBs since he got hurt... and that's not going to happen in the playoffs. The Tuddies play great defense, but to beat PowerPuff Girls and Come From Behind they'll need some offense too. Do they have a healthy enough QB to keep up?

Division 6

The Headline: Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins should meet in the Finals, right? Right???

Underrated: Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins have the best offenses in D6 by FAR. They have the best defenses in D6 by FAR. They have the best point differentials in D6 by... you guessed it... FAR. So those two teams are properly rated as "very good" and won't be appearing on either of these lists. In fact MOST of D6 ended up in exactly the order you'd expect given their point differentials, so teams are generally fairly rated in this division. The most underrated team then... has got to be Day by Day. The former "Just Joshing" team is in fourth place, but they're the ONLY team outside of Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins to finish with a positive point differential. They're also the only team to actually BEAT one of the "Big Two", with a win over Blitzkrieg about a month ago. No one is talking them to win the division, and that's fair. Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins are the favorites, and they deserve to be. But if anyone is capable of playing spoiler in this division, it's Day by Day.

Overrated: Sticky Laces had the sixth best offense in their division, and the fifth best defense. Somehow, the combination of those below average ranks made them... the fourth best point differential? And the third best record in the standings? How?? This is another team (like Two Tuddies in D5) who struggled last session and were able to turn things around this Fall, and it's awesome to see. But the numbers (especially that negative point differential) suggest that they overachieved a little bit this season, and they should regress a bit in the playoffs. We think they might win their first round game... but if the semis and finals go through Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins, well, Sticky Laces lost those regular season games by 20 and 35, so October 26th could be a bit of a struggle for them!

***

Top Ten Best and Worst Lists for the 2024 Fall Season

The division analysis above is the real meat and potatoes of this article, but in case you're curious how you stack up against teams in OTHER divisions, here are the top ten (and bottom ten) teams in the entire TSL for offensive points per game, defensive points per game, and average point differential per game:

What did we learn from this?? The magic numbers for us are always 20 and 40. Nearly every team in this League averages between 20-40 PPG both offensively and defensively. If you're higher than 40 offensively or lower than 20 defensively, you're doing an amazing job. If you're lower than 20 offensively or higher than 40 defensively... you're probably not winning too many games. This season we had two teams crack the 40 point mark, including one over 50 points... and both were QBed by a man named Joseph Battaglia. Congrats to Cunning Stunts, our Fall 2024 scoring champs (their fourth scoring title since we started tracking this... no other team has even two).

So if Cunning Stunts were the BEST offense, who were the worst? This season, just like last, we had six teams fail to make it to 20 PPG on offense. Those teams (Dogg Pound, TMA, Pit Harade, Toppers All-Stars & Todd, Untouchaballs and Cobblestone) unsurprisingly went a combined 10-44 this season.

Then if we look at defenses, there were three teams (Sausage McMuffins, Blitzkrieg, Come From Behind) that held opponents to under 20 PPG this session. There were zero teams that allowed 40+ points per game, but Untouchaballs were one 2-Pt Conversion away from hitting that mark!

Besides the "40/20 Clubs", what else do we see from the best and worst units in the League? Blitzkrieg and Come From Behind were the only two teams in the League to make all three "Ten Best" lists for offense, defense and point differentials. There were four teams to make all three "Ten Worst" lists, including Creekers, the Untouchaballs, Cobblestone (STILL playing short-handed most weeks) and Toppers All-Stars & Todd (stats don't even reflect their two forfeit losses!)

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All-Time Championship Statistics

A couple years ago we compiled a list of every TSL champion in League history and devised a ranking system to see who the "best teams of all time" were. This was exhausting to research and put together, but it's now very simple to update once a session, so that's what we've done here. The timing feels right to update you all on this now JUST before playoffs so we can remind you what you're chasing here... co-ed football immortality. Here are the current immortals:

THAT part is objective - the champs are the champs, and we'd like to think history will remember their achievements for 1,000 years to come (history classes will likely debate what exactly the "Tommy Hughes Experience" was). This next part though is subjective: we then attempted to compare the relative strength of each division's championships to come up with a ranking system (a D2 title is harder to win than a D4 title) and this is what we landed on:

A D1 championship is our baseline since it's the best a team can do. Let's make that worth 100 points.
A D2 title is worth, at BEST, 49% of that, since two D2 titles don't quite equal a D1 title (you can argue it should be LESS than 49%, but we've made the choice to weight lower divisions as heavily as reasonably possible here). 49 points for a D2 title.
A D3 title should be worth 49% of THAT, so about 24 points for each D3 championship.
Every subsequent division is worth 49% of the previous one, so D4 is worth 11 points, D5 is worth 5 points, and D6 is worth 2 points.
Indoor championships aren't currently worth a point (though we may revise this in the future). With apologies to DILFS, Jelly Beans, Sticky Bandits, Eyes Downtown and Friendship Club, Winter sessions are often used to make new teams and play with new people. No team should be penalized in the rankings for doing that instead of entering their usual squad. We'll give them credit for "number of titles", which they've earned, but zero points awarded. Indoor championships are abbreviated as "W:A" (Winter: A) and "W:B" on the chart below, to make it a little easier to read.

It's an arbitrary system of course, but it's the one we chose. So here is the updated list of your "greatest champions of all time" going into the Fall 2024 playoffs (active teams are highlighted below; split into two segments side-by-side to make font size more easily readable):

We always debate making a change to the math above so that subsequent championships in the same division would be worth less the second time around. After all, was it fair that Puckett kept improving their standings by winning D4 over and over? Shouldn't they have moved up before this session? But for now we decided to leave it as is.

So where does that leave us today? Wet Bandits (Legends) have tied Green & Associates by winning their third D1 championship, and two more would tie Public Enemy as the greatest team in TSL history. Eyes Downtown could jump from 5th to 2nd with another win, and Sticky Bandits from 9th to 4th.

The Sticky Bandits are tied with Public Enemy and Puckett All-Stars for the most total TSL Championships of all-time with five. If they win again this season, they'll stand alone as the only six time champions in TSL history.

Bottom line, people remember champions, not the teams who come in second place, so immortality can only be found by winning it all. Good luck!

***

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this season! We can't possibly make any other charts for you at this point (this was exhausting) and we doubt anyone has read this start-to-finish anyway.

We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts on any of the above, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us. Good luck in the playoffs.

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 7 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 10 October 2024 11:52; Published: Thursday, 10 October 2024 11:52; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 56

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

What have we got for you this week? How about TWENTY FIVE quarterbacks ranked, and the return of the famous DIVISION ALL-STAR TEAMS! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get angry that we have no idea what we're talking about and post unkind things about us on social media. Let's get to it!

#1 Joey Batts - Wet Bandits / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 32-16, beat Scared Hitless 51-23 (Wet Bandits), beat The Herd 55-37 (Stunts)

Two undefeated (regular) seasons with the two highest scoring teams in the TSL. You can't really beat that for a resume on the Quarterback Power Rankings. And we'll give you a spoiler for next week too: Joey will finish #1 in our Final Rankings of the year also.

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 46-44, beat Can't Touch This 53-45

Eyes Downtown gave up 89 points defensively in a doubleheader Saturday, and won them both. That is not an easy thing to do. Bobby can't catch Joey for #1 in the Power Rankings this season... but he can still catch a win over him in the D1 Championship game.

#3 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 46-44, lost to Wet Bandits 32-16

The Sticky Bandits lost to both of their biggest rivals on Saturday, which has them as currently the third best team in D1 going into the playoffs (and Frodo can still pass them next week). A lot of people thought they were the third best team last season too, but Sticky took home the championship. Can Thomas overcome having the tenth worst defense in the TSL to do it again this Fall?

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Beat Freeballers 46-21

Frodo has been just 6-20 since they made the jump to D1 a few seasons ago, but now for the first time they've locked up a non-losing record in the TSL's hardest division. With a win over Sticky Bandits on Saturday, Frodo can finish 5-3-1 and steal a first round bye from the defending champions. Garrett has been THAT good this season.

#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Untouchaballs 42-6, lost to Eyes Downtown 53-45

Remember when Can't Touch This was inexplicably losing a whole bunch of games in a row and we couldn't figure out what was wrong? That feels like a lifetime ago. Ryan has turned this team into a true D1 squad, capable of beating any team in the League on their best day. Will they win D2 and move up? The Mavericks and the Malones stand in their way.

#6 Andy Strug - The Malones

Last Week: Beat Mavericks 47-21

The Malones are 3-5... but four of their five losses have come against D1 teams they definitely WON'T see in the playoffs. A win over Mavericks this past week should be enough to remind everyone that the division STILL has to run through the Malones.

#7 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks

Last Week: Lost to The Malones 47-21, lost to Freeballers 32-23

The Mavericks have lost three of their last four games after a dominant start to the season. Does this mean that something is wrong, or just an understandable lack of focus since they've already locked up a first round bye for the playoffs? It's tough to say, but if they care about going into the playoffs as the #1 seed, they'll have a lot harder matchup against Eyes Downtown this week than their rivals Can't Touch This will with Freeballers.

#8 Jeremy Olson - Freeballers

Last Week: Did Not Play

We haven't seen a lot of Hogan at the fields this season. And he wore a mask that one time too, so that could have been anyone.

#9 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat Toppers All-Stars 35-20

Did Frank pass Dylan Day in the Power Rankings because he beat a last place Toppers All Stars team by 15 points? Not really... but Dylan misses a lot of games, and say this about Frank: he is one of the most reliable QBs in the TSL. Has he ever missed a game in our League? In ANY league?

#10 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Did Not Play

No Dylan this week against Wet Bandits. Not a bad game to miss...

#11 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club

Last Week: Did Not Play

Bullet Club wrapped up two weeks early this season. Dylan's only hope of rising in the final Power Rankings next week is someone else above him falling out.

#12 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for the TSL's best playoff QB this week.

#13 David Eickhoff - Grey Hair Don't Care

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for Grey Hair Don't Care this week... but next week Grey Hair gets to be the only TSL team to play TEN regular season games this session.

#14 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Beat Buffalo Vice 39-18

Let's Get Reccked is showing the value of peaking at the right time, as they've won their last two games by a combined 43 points. Can they carry the momentum into the playoffs, or will Rick Recckio get too drunk to keep it together on game day?

#15 Damien Keller - Mix'n It Up

Last Week: Beat Jabronies 38-25

Mix'n It Up was a 6-1 favorite to win D3 by the Godfather in his preseason article, where he also ranked them the third most likely team to win D3. We would have them fourth if we're being honest, with Jabronies expected to finish ahead of them. But Mix'n It Up is just one way away from locking up the #1 seed this session, and proving a lot of people (including us) wrong about them.

#16 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Lost to Mix'n It Up 38-25

What is Jabronies most impressive win of the season to date? Is it Practice Squad? Let's Get Reccked? Every time we're about to put these guys in the top tier of D3, they lose a game to a top team that we expect they'll win. No shame losing to Mix'n It Up, but we'd like to see ONE great win before the playoffs (and we won't: their last game of the season is the forfeit win over Straw Hats).

#17 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Lost to Can't Touch This 42-6

Jeremy Burr is ranked 17th in our QB rankings. Do we really believe there are 16 quarterbacks who are better than Burr right now? Maybe not, but that's what a 1-7 record and 20.0 PPG will get you. There are only six teams in the League with fewer points per game than Untouchaballs right now.

#18 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Did Not Play

We're pretty sure that was Cody throwing for PowerPuff Girls again this week.

#19 Mark Dalfonso - The Herd

Last Week: Lost to Cunning Stunts 55-37

The Herd have become a legitimate contender in D4 almost overnight with the addition of Mark and some of his veteran buddies. The Cunning Stunts are still the Cunning Stunts though.

#20 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated / Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers

Last Week: Did Not Play

We don't THINK Buddy played any games this weekend, since it looked like Mike Shimburski and John Langley were throwing for his teams.

#21 Derek Pew - Vaspian

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for Vaspian this week.

#22 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Lost to PWI 24-19, lost to Let's Get Reccked 39-18

Buffalo Vice is 3-5... but two of their wins came by forfeit, which makes it tough to bet TOO hard on this team in the playoffs. D3 is the most even division and often gives us a surprise winner, so you never know...

#23 Matthew Kieta - GirthQuakes

Last Week: Beat Select 34-12

The GirthQuake experiment has been a success, and only Cobblestone and Vaspian stand in the way of a winning record (and a POSSIBLE #3 seed in D4, if the Herd falls apart on Saturday). Matt Kieta has surprised many with his excellent play at QB, although it probably helps having a Klussman, a McConnell and a Jaloza on the roster to impart wisdom.

#24 Brandt Dubey - Toppers All Stars & Todd

Last Week: Did Not Play

Dubey didn't play for Toppers All Stars & Todd this week (that was the legendary Patrick McGovern slinging it!) but he's "the starter" so this spot in the Power Rankings is his to lose. Dubey was once #2 in the Power Rankings, way back in Spring 2019 when we first started. That team might have been a little more talented than this one, to be fair.

#25 Paul LoVullo - Come From Behind

Last Week: Beat Stir the Sauce 44-14

Paul is, PROBABLY, still the QB1 of Come From Behind. We haven't seen him much this session (was he there on Saturday vs Stir the Sauce?) but he's still one of the greatest when he plays. Come From Behind is tied for the best record in D5 and this could finally be their session to win it all.

Division All-Stars

It's been a few seasons since we've done this, but your TSL Division All-Stars are back! Here's how it works:

We selected an All-Star team of 10 players from each division. Teams had to have one designated QB, at least five other male players, and at least three female players. The tenth spot could be either male or female depending on the strength of each particular division.
Every division must have at least one All-Star from EACH team in the division. After each team gets their minimum one representative, we'll fill out the rest of the roster however we want. We TRY to spread this out so please don't write us an email asking why your team didn't have five all-stars. (Yes, of COURSE D1 could have been the entire Wet Bandits roster, but that's not fun for other teams.)
If a player plays in more than one division, they are only eligible for the highest division they play in, UNLESS it's for a different position (i.e. Jeremy Burr is eligible as both a receiver in D1 and a quarterback in D2, but Steph Czaja is only eligible in D2 because she's not a QB and that's the highest division she plays). This came up a LOT. If you're wondering why you didn't make the All-Star team in the lower division you play in, please remember, you were never eligible... Especially Cunning Stunts, who have the best roster in D4 and yet only ONE player who was eligible (spoiler: she made the D4 All-Star team) because all the rest of them play for other teams in higher divisions.
This is not strictly a ranking of who the "best" player is on each team. We're just looking for the best combination of players to fill out a team, and we'll take into account ALL that player offers when making our choices.
It is not an insult to not make this list! Lots of the TSL's BEST players didn't make it because of the criteria we've listed above. Please try to understand, we are not saying that you suck if you're not shown...

So that's how it works. It'll all be subjective of course so try not to get too excited when you don't see your name below. These are the best combination of All-Star teams WE could think of given the rules above. If you think you can do better, feel free to send the Godfather a better version.

Oh, and the names within each category (male players vs female players) are arranged alphabetically by last name (or they're supposed to be anyway), so don't read anything into the order, they're not ranked best to worst.

Here are your Division All-Star Teams:

Hate it? Disagree with everyone on the list? Go on the facebook and complain like everyone else!

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 5 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 26 September 2024 14:16; Published: Thursday, 26 September 2024 14:16; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 85

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

One of the things we miss about not having our own email address is the correspondence from our "fans" who would write in to tell us why the QB of their own team was so great and underrated and we really should consider ranking them higher.

One of the things we DON'T miss about not having our own email address... is the correspondence from our "fans" who would write in to tell us why the QB of their own team was so great and underrated and we really should consider ranking them higher (because we're idiots if we don't!)

Here are your Top Twenty QBs in the TSL!

#1 Joey Batts - Wet Bandits / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Untouchaballs 60-32 (Wet Bandits), beat Girthquakes 42-31 (Stunts)

There are three undefeated teams left in the TSL, and two of them are quarterbacked by Joseph Battaglia. Stats + Wins/Losses + Level of Difficulty is our magic formula for Power Ranking these QBs, and Joey checks every box right now.

#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for the Sticky Bandits.

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 32-25

Maybe a little closer than they had hoped, but a win is a win for Eyes Downtown as they narrowly escaped an upset from Frodo this week. Eyes Downtown will be hard pressed to take the #1 seed in D1 this session, but they're in great shape to get a first round bye.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Tied Grey Hair Don't Care 28-28, lost to Eyes Downtown 32-25

Frodo nearly beat Eyes Downtown on Saturday, and they didn't LOSE to Grey Hair Don't Care. It's funny how GHDC is towards the back end of the D2 standings and Eyes Downtown is towards the front end of D1, yet Garrett had equal success against both of them. That's football!

#5 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks

Last Week: Beat Untouchaballs 48-9, beat Scared Hitless 42-40

Mavericks had their annual annihilation of Untouchaballs and then escaped with a narrow win over Scared Hitless to raise their record to 4-1. When your only loss is against Wet Bandits, it once again begs the question of why these guys aren't in D1.

#6 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat The Malones 52-40

Can't Touch This seems like a different team with a healthy Delecki back. Last season they struggled with consistency and couldn't put together a complete game to get wins. This session they're in second place and would have a first round bye in the playoffs, if they started today.

#7 Andy Strug - The Malones

Last Week: Lost to Can't Touch This 52-40

The Malones had the longest winning streak in the TSL coming into this session. Now they've lost three in a row, and four of their last five. With upcoming games against Wet Bandits and Mavericks, will they be able to keep their composure if things start to go bad?

#8 Jeremy Olson - Freeballers

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Freeballers this week.

#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 42-40

Mavericks is "the team to beat" in D2, and Scared Hitless almost pulled it off. Don't be fooled by their 2-4 record right now, as Hitless is a few lucky (or unlucky) bounces away from being 5-1 with narrow losses to Mavericks, Sticky Bandits and Eyes Downtown this season.

#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 36-30

Beating the team that eliminated Wanderers in last season's playoffs is a small measure of redemption for Frank and team, since they know that the real glory is earned in the last weeks of the season. But 5-1 feels a whole lot better right now than 4-2 would have, so we're sure they'll take it.

#11 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 36-30

One week in the Top Ten doesn't feel like enough for B. There's no shame in losing to the Wanderers by six points though, and we're assuming he'll be back. D3 has just a few teams capable of winning the whole thing this session. We didn't believe Practice Squad was a real contender last season... but we do now.

#12 David Eickhoff - Grey Hair Don't Care

Last Week: Tied Frodo Swaggins 28-28

Our first non Breakfast Club tie of the season on Saturday was a tight one (duh) between Frodo and Grey Hair. It'll be interesting to see how this affects tiebreakers down the line, as Grey Hair now has a tie AND they're the only team in the League with a tenth game on their schedule.

#13 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 48-9, lost to Wet Bandits 60-32

Untouchaballs hit a low point on Saturday with two games stopped early for being out of hand. We don't know if Untouchaballs were missing people on Saturday or just missing their usual swagger, but hopefully this isn't the end of the line for this proud franchise!

#14 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club

Last Week: Beat PWI 34-17

Bullet Club was in the 8th vs 9th play-in game last session as one of the worst teams in D3. This session they're in fourth place (because our website thinks 3-4 is better than 3-2 apparently) and playing with confidence. We do wonder whether having two bye weeks to end the season (one of which is a Straw Hats forfeit) is going to hurt them though.

#15 Damien Keller - Mix'n It Up

Last Week: Beat Toppers All Stars & Todd 30-29, beat Buffalo Vice 41-35

Mix'n It Up is on top of the D3 standings as the last remaining undefeated team in the TSL's most competitive division... so why is Damien only the fourth highest rated QB in his own division? Maybe our panel is looking too much at points per game, maybe we're giving Katie too much credit for their success.

#16 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Lost to Jabronies 30-8

Let's Get Reccked were a shell of their usual self on Saturday without Captain Rick and it showed. They'll try to bounce back with a win this week, but Mix'n It Up is a tough matchup for anyone right now. Alex will have to be on the top of his game to solve that defense.

#17 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Beat GUCCI 51-36, beat Two Tuddies 33-16

PowerPuff Girls continue to roll, avenging a previous loss against GUCCI from a couple weeks ago AND beating previously undefeated Two Tuddies to take the lead in their division. This is the team nobody wants to play in the D5 playoffs.

#18 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 30-8

Isn't it too much to ask for Joe Miano carry his team to a big win over a division rival without his most experienced receivers? Apparently not, as Jabronies coasted to a shockingly easy win on Saturday in a matchup we thought would be a lot closer. Jabronies are one of four teams left in D3 with a winning record.

#19 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated / Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers

Last Week: Lost to Bullet Club 34-17 (PWI), beat Creekers 40-13 (Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers)

Buddy Lee won two championships in the Spring. What are his odds of winning D3 or D4 this session? We'll wait for the Godfather to tell us the real odds, but they feel a lot higher for Big Daddy Jason right now than they do for PWI.

#20 Mark Dalfonso - The Herd

Last Week: Beat Select 46-33

The Herd has quietly transformed into one of the best teams in TSL overnight by adding Dalfonso at QB. If there any other D4 teams out there looking to vault to the top of the standings, maybe they should try calling Chris Cole to lure him out of retirement too?

Fancy Statistics Section

Last week we looked at the "ten best and ten worst" teams in the TSL across a few different categories. It's fun to see who's much better than everyone else, or who's lagging way behind... but what about all those teams in the middle that don't get to see their names listed? Maybe a bit dull for them. So this is an updated point differential graph showing EVERY team in the TSL, as of today. And instead of grouping every division together, we'll split each division up so you can see how you stack up against your competition. As always, green is good, red is bad. Enjoy!

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 6 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 03 October 2024 18:00; Published: Thursday, 03 October 2024 18:00; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 73

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

Get ready for some wild swings this week. We've got QBs on the rise, QBs on decline, new heroes, new losers, new... wait a minute! There isn't ONE change in the Top Ten this week! That's what happens when every top ten QB either wins their game, or loses to someone already ranked higher than them, apparently...

Oh well. Enjoy #11-#20!

#1 Joey Batts - Wet Bandits / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat The Malones 45-38 (Wet Bandits), beat Select 61-39, beat Creekers 46-20 (Stunts)

There are now ONLY TWO undefeated teams in the TSL. Joey Batts QBs them both. Wet Bandits and Cunning Stunts are a combined 15-0. We won't even get into how many points they've scored.

#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat The Untouchaballs 36-28

The Sticky Bandits are 4-1, with every game this session being decided by 8 points or less. Of course the other "measuring stick" teams in D1 are Eyes Downtown and Wet Bandits... and it looks like Sticky Nation plays both teams back-to-back this Saturday. We'll learn a lot about where the defending champs are after next week!

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Freeballers 45-30

Eyes Downtown can't lock up the #1 seed without a lot of help (which they won't get), and they probably can't miss a first round bye either, barring a complete collapse the rest of this season. So they'll be in that #2 vs #3 game for the second round of playoffs, one win away from yet another championship game. Bobby is ready.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Frodo Swaggins this week.

#5 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks

Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 20-18

Twenty to eighteen! Don't the Mavericks usually put up like 40? Low score aside, winning by 2 is as good as winning by 20 for the standings, and with the W the Mavericks have clinched a first round playoff bye. Championship or bust for this team.

#6 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Can't Touch This this week, since their opponent forfeited.

#7 Andy Strug - The Malones

Last Week: Lost to Wet Bandits 45-38

The Malones are 2-1 so far against their own division this session and 0-4 against D1 teams. The good news? They don't have to play ANY of those D1 teams in the playoffs, where they'll likely be right in the mix to win a championship.

#8 Jeremy Olson - Freeballers

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 45-30

The Freeballers have one win against the last place team in D2, and are otherwise winless this session. Most D2 champs don't immediately come in and make a lot of noise in D1 though, so we're not overly surprised. Klussman isn't taking home the championship this Fall, but we wouldn't bet against it some day.

#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Scared Hitless this week, since they forfeited.

#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Wanderers this week, since their opponent forfeited.

#11 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 25-23

OKAY Dylan Jaloza fan club, WE HEAR YOU. Bullet Club was in the 8th place vs 9th place game last session and simply didn't look very good. They look pretty good now though, and all that's standing between them and a winning season is Krol marking their upcoming forfeit win against the Straw Hats in the standings.

#12 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to Jabronies 42-41, lost to Bullet Club 25-23

Practice Squad was the toast of the League a couple weeks ago after their 5-0 start. They're 0-3 since then, but they've lost all three games by a combined 9 points. THEY'LL BE FINE, but it goes to show how competitive D3 is this session (okay, every session).

#13 David Eickhoff - Grey Hair Don't Care

Last Week: Did Not Play

Grey Hair played this week... but Eickhoff didn't. Nick Voss didn't do so bad!

#14 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Did Not Play

Untouchaballs played this week... but Burr didn't (at least, not for them, as he only makes time for his D1 friends now).

#15 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 42-41, beat PWI 22-17

Jabronies had a slow start to their season with bye weeks and a lousy performance against Bullet Club, and we all kind of forgot how good they are. They're reminding us now, after their fourth win in a row. Joe has played with some talented players before, but let's give some credit here as he's getting it done this season with a lot of new faces.

#16 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Beat Mix'n It Up 36-14

Let's Get Reccked got their first "signature win" of the season on Saturday by handing previously undefeated Mix'n It Up their first loss. Their other wins have been a close one over (an admittedly much improved) Bullet Club and Straw Hats (in their only REAL game before they forfeited). So yeah, this one feels a little better for Buchlis and team.

#17 Damien Keller - Mix'n It Up

Last Week: Lost to Let's Get Reccked 36-14

You lose ONE game and the Power Rankings Committee knocks you down to 17th on their list! There's no justice, we know, we know. This is why D3 is so exciting though. Do you REALLY want to bet against Mix'n It Up... or Jabronies... or Wanderers... or Playoff B?

#18 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Did Not Play

PowerPuff Girls played this week... but Kyle didn't.

#19 Mark Dalfonso - The Herd

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for The Herd this week.

#20 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated / Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers

Last Week: Lost to Jabronies 22-17 (PWI), beat Vaspian 44-34, lost to Girthquakes 35-29 (Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers)

A 1-2 day is enough to knock Buddy back to the last spot in our Rankings this week with Derek Pew, Andy Clark, Brandt Dubey, Matt Kieta and the legendary Darryl Carr nipping at his heels. Buddy's teams are a combined 7-6 this season. Not bad of course, but we don't think he's winning both a third AND fourth championship this year.

Fancy Statistics Section

Here are the best (and worst!) offenses in the League, by division. If you're curious how you compare against the Buffalo Bills (SuperBowl era OR Josh Allen era) we've included their stats on the bottom as well. Enjoy!

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 4 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Wednesday, 18 September 2024 17:17; Published: Wednesday, 18 September 2024 17:17; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 102

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

We've got quarterbacks! (twenty of them!) We've got charts! (okay, one chart.) Stick around and have a read. The Godfather won't be here til Friday, what else do you have to do until then?

#1 Joey Batts - Wet Bandits / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 54-28 (Stunts)

Last session the Malones set the recent scoring record (going back at least five years) at 52.1 PPG. The Cunning Stunts are currently scoring 51.0 PPG, and their "worst" game of the season has been 45 points (when they presumably could have scored more, if they weren't already leading by 25 points). Joey Batts is very good... and we didn't even mention his undefeated D1 team just now.

#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 39-35

The D1 champions are 3-1 after barely surviving another D2 crossover game. The offense is still great (and likely always will be no matter who Thomas is throwing to) but their four games this session have been +8, +7, -8, +4. Sticky Nation is mostly winning when it counts... but you'd like to see a big win at some point if they're going to compete with Wet Bandits.

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 44-16

After a few weeks of close games and D2 crossover scares, Eyes Downtown finally came out and just dominated a team, reminding us all why they've been to so many Finals games these past few years. This is Bobby's 62nd week in the Top Three of the TSL Power Rankings.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Beat the Malones 59-40

Fifty nine points! Frodo Swaggins came ALIVE on Saturday and beat up a really good Malones team. Frodo has suffered from poor attendance and many subs for the past couple of seasons. Saturday was a reminder of what they can do when they're all there, and their all-star QB is on his game.

#5 Andy Strug - The Malones

Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 59-40

The schedule makers did not do the Malones any favors, booking them three weeks in a row against Sticky Bandits, Eyes Downtown and Frodo Swaggins. Nightmare schedule aside, it's worth noting that Eyes Downtown have been the only team so far this season to hold Andy to fewer than 40 points.

#6 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for the Mavericks this week.

#7 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Can't Touch This this week.

#8 Jeremy Olson - Freeballers

Last Week: Beat The Untouchaballs 37-23

The Freeballers are winless no longer after beating Untouchaballs in a D2 crossover game. Can they seriously contend for the D1 championship this season? We doubt it... this season. But Hogan's still good enough to play spoiler and ruin someone else's season in the playoffs.

#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Beat The Untouchaballs 32-23, lost to Sticky Bandits 39-35

Scared Hitless are a team on the rise again. They had the D1 champions on the ropes this week, and beat Untouchaballs in the heat an hour later. Dylan's playing great football and Hitless has always had a pretty good defense. They've been to the D2 championship game before, and we wouldn't be shocked to see them there again this season.

#10 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 39-34, beat Topper All Stars & Todd 42-21

We have been doing QB Power Rankings for 74 weeks now dating back to Spring 2019. B, a league icon and universally respected QB, has never once been in our Top Ten... until today. Practice Squad are 5-0 and have taken a huge step forward this session, so he has earned it. Hell, it's probably long overdue. Brandon Ford... you are one of the ten best quarterbacks in Western New York touch football.

#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat PWI 46-37, lost to Mix'n It Up 27-14

The Wanderers finally lost a game this season. They won one too we should mention, but the loss is more interesting. It's hard to win two games on a hot day like Saturday, but scoring only 14 points isn't like Frank. Maybe he sensed that Shakira Shakira was distracted by the animal shelter dogs.

#12 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Lost to Freeballers 37-23, lost to Scared Hitless 32-23

The once mighty Untouchaballs are now in last place in D2 (okay they're not REALLY in last, but our website standings seem to think that 1-3 is worse than 1-5 for some reason). Are Burr's commitment issues to this team the problem? Is it the lack of female star power that's hurting them?

#13 David Eickhoff - Grey Hair Don't Care

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 44-16

Grey Hair Don't Care has played six games this season, and only one of them was closer than 19 points. They're either getting blasted or, in one weird exception, doing the blasting. The good news is they have a tenth game on the schedule, so that should give them one extra chance to avoid a last place finish in D2's regular season.

#14 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Lost to Practice Squad 39-34, beat Bullet Club 37-32

Let's Get Reccked are 2-2 at the midway point in the season. Are they just a mediocre team? Or does the fact that their only two losses are against the top two teams in their division mean they could be as good as the third best team in D3?

#15 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club

Last Week: Lost to Let's Get Reccked 37-32

What do we make of Bullet Club? They have one great win over Jabronies that we can't explain... one easy win against Toppers All-Stars that we CAN explain (Team Topper is struggling!)... and four losses, some of which have been close, while others have not. Is this a bad team? No. Do we think they'll be hoisting a trophy at the banquet? No.

#16 Damien Keller - Mix'n It Up

Last Week: Beat Wanderers 27-14

Mix'n It Up is one of two undefeated teams left in D3 this session which is a major credit to the Keller Klan. Sure, they've played fewer games than everyone else, and sure, their points per game are strangely low for an undefeated team. But man, that defense is looking great.

#17 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated / Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers

Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 46-37 (Passing While Intoxicated)

A one score loss against the Wanderers is pretty impressive for a team that just moved up from D4. Buddy does a great job of getting his girls involved (Tori is MVP quality) but the funky website tiebreakers have PWI at 8th place right now. They're better than that.

#18 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for PowerPuff Girls this week.

#19 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Jabronies this week.

#20 Mark Dalfonso - The Herd

Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 55-28

What happens when you take one of the worst teams in D4 last session (athletic, but inexperience all around) and give them a former D1 champion quarterback? They immediately earn a winning record, apparently. This is a dangerous group with Dalfonso under center, and since Week One they've scored more points every week on offense.

Fancy Statistics Section

Okay. We're here. We kept saying "you're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful". Well, it's Week Four. The sample size is TOO SMALL TO BE MEANINGFUL, but we'll give you some "fancy stats" anyway.

You've seen this chart before, but we always like to make it the first one (and last one) of the season. Here are your best (and worst) offenses, defenses, and point differentials in the TSL through the first half of the season. As always, forfeit games have been excluded from the numbers (hi Cobblestone & Straw Hats!)

What did we learn?

For starters, there are five people who can claim absolute domination of the League right now, and the first four are Joey Batts, Melanie Linsmair, Taylor Pagano and Maddie Norton. These players are on both Cunning Stunts and Wet Bandits, and those two teams have the best two offenses in the League AND the best two point differentials in the League. The Stunts in particular have a 10+ point lead over the next non-Batts team in offensive points per game, and a 7+ point lead over the nexts non-Batts team in total point differential. These teams are killing it.

The person who might have the BEST claim to domination of the League though is actually Katie Keller. Katie is on the Stunts and Mix'n It Up, which means she can claim to be part of the best offense, best point differential AND best defense in the League. It's Katie's world, and we're all just living in it.

We pointed out that the Stunts and Wet Bandits have the best and second best offenses and point differentials in the League, but it's also worth pointing out that Practice Squad is actually THIRD in both categories as well. Has there ever been an identical top three in two categories at once?? We don't think so. These three teams are doing something right. Oh, and Practice Squad is also in the top ten in defense, the ONLY team in the League that's "top ten" in every category right now.

So we know which teams are doing it right... Now let's look at which teams are doing it wrong. Toppers All Stars & Todd are in the bottom ten in every category. Is Todd to blame?? Cobblestone is also bottom ten, and they are the only team in the league that's scoring fewer than 20 points per game while allowing more than 40... and that's not even counting their two forfeit losses! Grey Hair - Don't Care and GUCCI are the other two teams in all three "bottom tens"... so we have four teams in the bottom categories, and only one team in the top (Practice Squad). It's harder to be great than it is to be bad!

Pit Harade has the worst offense in the league at 12.4 PPG. Spinelli's Plumbing has the worst defense in the league at 49.8 PPG allowed (we had to look that up to make sure it was accurate; sadly, it is). Cobblestone has the worst point differential at -26.3 PPG. Ironically, it would only HELP Cobblestone's point differential if we included their forfeit losses, because those would only be -21 games instead of their average -26 when they actually play.

What's YOUR ranking?

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