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WEEK 8 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Wednesday, 19 June 2024 15:38; Published: Wednesday, 19 June 2024 15:38; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 116

Welcome back to the FINAL TSL Quarterback Power Rankings of the season!

Yes, unlike our way more productive colleagues, the Godfather and (maybe?) the Sentinel, we don't write articles during the playoffs. We like to sit back and just watch the show, the fireworks, the bloodbath, whatever you want to call it, without having to analyze anything. So with this being our last article of the year, we've saved a lot for you. We have our final Top 30 Quarterbacks of the year and then our usual playoff division analysis where we look at each playoff race in detail to pick out any trends in the data we can find. Plus some other stuff.

This will be our longest article of the year with lots of time-consuming charts and graphs so we skipped the individual QB write-ups this week and just included the Power Rankings themselves. You don't need us to tell you how good or bad your team's QB is at this point, your record speaks for itself!

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Division by Division Review of the TSL

For our final analysis of the season, we're going to show you the following:

The breakdown of best offenses, defenses and net point differentials per division. For the first time ever, we had zero forfeits this season to adjust for, so a nice, clean data set. Then we tried to color each team's data by their official jersey colors, but half of this league apparently uses the same colors so it's not perfect (sorry Cunning Stunts for your sexist pink coloring!)
A graph of average point differentials per game for each division with a similar "Favorites, Contenders, Pretenders" logic we've used in previous seasons (if you're winning games by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Favorite in green; if you're losing by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Pretender in red; all other teams are yellow in the middle; these are not OUR judgments on who falls into each category, it's strictly based on the math of your team's point differentials). For what it's worth, in the last six seasons that we've been showing these graphs, we've had 24 eventual division champions classified as "Favorites", 18 as "Contenders", and exactly zero as "Pretenders".
A quick twitter sized (or "X sized") recap of the division heading into playoffs, and then identifying which teams are "overrated" and "underrated" in each group. Note that these last two categories are based purely on what we see in the scores and stats, NOT our own personal feelings of players on each team (we might personally think Scared Hitless are overrated, but if the underlying numbers say their team is underrated, that's where we'll include them below) so TRY not to be offended thinking the "website is being mean". We're just reading numbers off a website, man. Relax.

And away we go!

Division 1

The Headline: TSL's smallest division battles it out with one favorite, a couple real contenders, and also Frodo Swaggins are here.

Underrated: Eyes Downtown are tied with Sticky Bandits for the second best point differential in D1, and they actually would have won a head-to-head tiebreaker this season based on point differentials in their two games (which they split). If not for a slip up vs Frodo earlier this season, they would have gone into the playoffs as the #2 seed. Plus how much playoff pressure can there really be for a team that has won the last two TSL championships (including Winter)? It may not quite be accurate to call them "underrated" (does anything think they don't have a decent chance to win again?) but they may be the MOST underrated team in a division where teams generally finished in the order they should have.

Overrated: Frodo Swaggins played two close games against the Sticky Bandits, and actually BEAT Eyes Downtown earlier this season. Unfortunately, they'll play neither of those teams on Saturday. Against Eyes Uptown, they were outscored 75-23 in a pair of losses this season. Frodo also used the sublist more than any other team in D1 this season, which they won't be able to do for the playoffs, so this will be a huge hill to climb for Garrett and team to steal two games against the best in the League.

Division 2

The Headline: The Mavericks are the clear leader of the pack, but this is a division full of teams capable of pulling off playoff upsets.

Underrated: It has to be Can't Touch This, right? CTT were an afterthought in this division when they started out 0-3. Since then they are 4-0-1, and although they're fourth in the standings, they actually have the second best point differential in D2. They are also the only D2 team that can say that they've beaten the Mavericks this session. If you're looking to bet on a champion that isn't the top seeded team in their division, this might be the one.

Overrated: The Untouchaballs almost took the #2 seed and a first round bye for the playoffs... but they still have a negative point differential on the season, which is odd for a team that many consider one of the favorites to win the whole thing. They were crushed by the Mavericks in their first game of the season by a score of 62-30, and there are two ways to look at that game: 1) an outlier that would make the Untouchaballs season stats look all the more impressive if we threw it out; or 2) a sign that they don't match up well against the Mavericks (whom they tied a week later... but still couldn't beat). We're not sure which way to view it. Either way, teams that gave up more points than they scored throughout the season rarely win championships, so we'll take Untouchaballs as the most "overrated" team in D2.

Division 3

The Headline: The Malones vs everyone else.

Underrated: The Jabronies were a .500 team but they sport the second best point differential in their division. So we WANT to pick them as the most Underrated team... but we still feel like it's the Malones. Teams just don't normally win games by more than 20+ PPG. The Malones are lapping the field, and clearly should be playing in a higher division. Just look at the graph above... one of those bars stands out the most, and we're not talking about Practice Squad...

Overrated: The Wanderers are 6-2 and the second best team in the division both in the standings and (probably) conventional wisdom. They're a GREAT team. But they just lost by 30 to the Malones, and their point differential on the year is +0.88 points per game. That's a number we'd usually see from a .500 team, not D3's last hope of toppling the Malones. Can it be done? Sure. This is football, Wanderers only need to be the better team for 50 minutes. But the numbers suggest it will be a huge uphill battle for the #2 seed (let alone the other 7 teams in this division!)

Division 4

The Headline: The Cunning Stunts are destroying everyone, while a handful of other good teams hope for an upset. It won't be Vaspian, Cobblestone or the Roaring 20's.

Underrated: Can we even suggest that Cobblestone are underrated because "what would happen if all of their players showed up on a given week?" Nahhh... it doesn't work that way. If they were going to show up by now, they would have, so we're going to say they ARE who they ARE. The TRULY most underrated team in this division then has to be Passing While Intoxicated, who are averaging a +9.5 PPG margin of victory. Every single team (above D6) that is averaging +9.5 PPG is in first place in their division, except for PWI, who are somehow THIRD. This is a very good team, and more importantly in a division with the Stunts, it's one that knows how to score gender TDs.

Overrated: The Tater Tots are in fourth place out of nine teams, and they have a 4-4 record. That's not bad. The problem is, three of their four wins came against the worst three teams in the division (Cobblestone, Roaring 20s, Vaspian) and their only "quality" win this season was way back in Week 1 against a Creekers team which has since gotten better. They've also lost their last two games by 18 and 24 points, so momentum's not exactly on their side either. Could they win their first round game against Creekers? Absolutely. But their numbers against better teams make us think they won't have much of a shot in the big games.

Division 5

The Headline: Four teams could win this, a fifth could make it very interesting, and the other three don't have a chance.

Underrated: Did you know before looking at the graph above that the second best team in the division on point differential was PowerPuff Girls? We didn't either. We're tempted to pick them as the most underrated team in the division simply because their whole "record isn't as good as their point differential suggests it should be" thing is RIGHT up our alley... but we still think the answer is Travis Henry's Kids. Look, we get the skepticism. This team was exposed a bit in the past two weeks of doubleheaders, as they were outscored 83-140 in a 1-3 stretch without Pete Walbrandt. But that's the thing... it was without Pete. Their record WITH Pete (who we assume is available for playoffs) was 4-0 while outscoring opponents by a combined score of 165-86. Has a team ever been so reliant on one superstar? Judge them all you want for that, but if you think you saw the "real" THK the last couple of weeks without him, then you are SEVERELY underrating this team.

Overrated: Stir the Sauce have some great athletes on their team, with both speed and size. They were one win away from .500, and they finished with a positive point differential. They're a solid team! But raise your hand if you think TMA or Two Tuddies are going to win D5 in a couple weeks. No one? Okay... did you know that all three of STS's wins were against those two teams this season, and by kind of a LOT? Take away their games against two teams that no one expects to win the championship, and what's their record? 0-5, and outscored by a combined 139-206 (or losing by an average of 13.4 PPG). If you think they're in the middle of the pack because they're a 3-5 team and +12 on the season, well, that's true in a sense. But the "pack" they want to be in the middle of is the pack of contenders, and they're not quite there yet.

Division 6

The Headline: TSL's "wild west" where anything can happen.

Underrated: Sausage McMuffins are fifth in their division yet they have the best point differential of any D6 team at +11.1 PPG. Here is the full list of teams in the League with +11 or more points per game: the Malones (1st place), Cunning Stunts (1st place), GUCCI (1st place), Eyes Uptown (1st place), Sausage McMuffins (FIFTH PLACE). This is a potential #1 seed masquerading as a #5 seed. One of the most underrated teams not just in their division, but all of the TSL!

Overrated: This was another easy choice: no disrespect to our friends on Balls Deep, but how do you lock up the #2 seed in your nine team division with a negative point differential?? Sausage McMuffins have 96 more "net points" on the season than Balls Deep, and are somehow three spots BELOW them in the standings! There's something to be said for winning close games against good teams for tiebreakers, and Balls Deep started the season with wins against Back That Pass Up, Blitzkrieg and Pit Harade, which gave them incredible tie-breaking leverage. But we said for Untouchaballs above and we'll say it again: teams that gave up more points than they scored throughout the season rarely win championships.

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Top Ten Best and Worst Lists for the 2024 Spring Season

The division analysis above is the real meat and potatoes of this article, but in case you're curious how you stack up against teams in OTHER divisions, here are the top ten (and bottom ten) teams in the entire TSL for offensive points per game, defensive points per game, and average point differential per game:

What did we learn from this?? The magic numbers for us are always 20 and 40. Nearly every team in this League averages between 20-40 PPG both offensively and defensively. If you're higher than 40 offensively or lower than 20 defensively, you're doing an amazing job. If you're lower than 20 offensively or higher than 40 defensively... you're probably not winning too many games. This season we had two teams crack the 40 point mark, and one of those also cracked the 50 point mark. Congrats to the Malones, our Spring 2024 scoring champs. In fact, we've been tracking scoring champions since the beginning of our article (Fall 2019) and the Malones have the highest scoring offense in recent history: The Stunts were the only other team to crack 40+ PPG, and if not for the Malones, they would have had their fourth scoring title in the last five seasons!

So if The Malones were the BEST offense, who were the worst? This season we had six teams fail to make it to 20 PPG on offense. Those teams (Dogg Pound, TMA, Cobblestone, Frodo Swaggins, Sticky Laces and Two Tuddies) unsurprisingly went a combined 6-41 this season.

Then if we look at defenses, there were two teams (GUCCI and Pit Harade) that held opponents to under 20 PPG this session. Last session we had none, but that's likely attributable at least in part to the weather, as we had beautiful Saturdays last Fall and some rough/rainy Saturdays this Spring That would ALSO explain why we had no teams this session that allowed 40+ points per game defensively, when we had five such teams last season.

Besides the "40/20 Clubs", what else do we see from the best and worst units in the League? Eyes Uptown and Sausage McMuffins were the only two teams in the League to make all three "Ten Best" lists for offense, defense and point differentials. There were five teams to make all three "Ten Worst" lists, including The Roaring 20s (new team, they get a pass), Vaspian (completely rebuilt team, they get a pass), Two Tuddies (moved up a division, they get a pass), Cobblestone (never had enough players; Darryl needs to recruit better) and TMA. Didn't TMA used to be awesome???

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All-Time Championship Statistics

A couple years ago we compiled a list of every TSL champion in League history and devised a ranking system to see who the "best teams of all time" were. This was exhausting to research and put together, but it's now very simple to update once a session, so that's what we've done here. The timing feels right to update you all on this now JUST before playoffs so we can remind you what you're chasing here... co-ed football immortality. Here are the current immortals:

THAT part is objective - the champs are the champs, and we'd like to think history will remember their achievements for 1,000 years to come (history classes will likely debate what exactly the "Tommy Hughes Experience" was). This next part though is subjective: we then attempted to compare the relative strength of each division's championships to come up with a ranking system (a D2 title is harder to win than a D4 title) and this is what we landed on:

A D1 championship is our baseline since it's the best a team can do. Let's make that worth 100 points.
A D2 title is worth, at BEST, 49% of that, since two D2 titles don't quite equal a D1 title (you can argue it should be LESS than 49%, but we've made the choice to weight lower divisions as heavily as reasonably possible here). 49 points for a D2 title.
A D3 title should be worth 49% of THAT, so about 24 points for each D3 championship.
Every subsequent division is worth 49% of the previous one, so D4 is worth 11 points, D5 is worth 5 points, and D6 is worth 2 points.
Indoor championships aren't currently worth a point (though we may revise this in the future). With apologies to DILFS, Jelly Beans, Sticky Bandits, Eyes Downtown and Friendship Club, Winter sessions are often used to make new teams and play with new people. No team should be penalized in the rankings for doing that instead of entering their usual squad.

It's an arbitrary system of course, but it's the one we chose. So here is the updated list of your "greatest champions of all time" going into the Spring 2024 playoffs (active teams are highlighted below; split into two segments side-by-side to make font size more easily readable):

We always debate making a change to the math above so that subsequent championships in the same division would be worth less the second time around. After all, was it fair that Puckett kept improving their standings by winning D4 over and over? Shouldn't they have moved up before this session? But for now we decided to leave it as is.

So where does that leave us today? Eyes Uptown (Legends) has tied Green & Associates by winning their third D1 championship, and two more would tie Public Enemy as the greatest team in TSL history. Eyes Downtown could jump from 5th to 2nd with another win, and Sticky Bandits from 13th to 9th.

Puckett All-Stars is tied with Public Enemy for the most TSL Championships of all-time with five. If they win again this season, they'll be the most decorated champions in TSL history.

Bottom line, people remember champions, not the teams who come in second place, so immortality can only be found by winning it all. Good luck!

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That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this season! We can't possibly make any other charts for you at this point (this was exhausting) and we doubt anyone has read this start-to-finish anyway.

We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts on any of the above, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us. Good luck in the playoffs.

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 7 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Wednesday, 12 June 2024 19:39; Published: Wednesday, 12 June 2024 19:39; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 121

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

Last week D1 teams went 2-2 against D2 teams, and outscored them by a total of 115-105. Maybe the gap between divisions isn't as big as we thought, and we should be ranking D2 Quarterbacks more highly in our article! That said, let's get to it:

#1 Joey Batts - Eyes Uptown / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Mavericks 40-24 (Eyes Uptown), beat Creekers 51-15 (Cunning Stunts)

The Stunts have already locked up the #1 seed with two games to go, and Eyes Uptown can do the same with a win this week or a Sticky Bandits loss. Also: should Joey Batts be playing defense full-time for Eyes Uptown??

#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Freeballers 33-8

The other QBs in D1 were either beaten or seriously tested last weekend in their D2 crossover games. The Sticky Bandits destroyed a short handed Freeballers team. Did we learn anything new about Mike as a QB? Not really. A Bandits win and an Eyes Uptown loss this week would give Sticky Nation the #1 seed in the D1 playoffs.

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Lost to The Untouchaballs 30-26

Eyes Downtown have faced four opponents this season, and they have losses to all four of them. Strange to say about the defending D1 champs, right? Maybe it's tough to take the regular season seriously (especially in a crossover game) when you're only measuring success by championships at this point.

#4 Jeremy Burr - The Untouchaballs

Last Week: Beat Eyes Downtown 30-26

They woke up the beast! Burr led Untouchaballs to an improbable win against the reigning D1 champs in the biggest (regular season) game of his career. Was that enough to jump Bobby in the Power Rankings? Not quite... Untouchaballs should have jumped to D1 if Burr wanted to be at the top of these rankings... but he definitely showed he belongs in the conversation of best QBs in this League.

#5 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Uptown 40-24

Mavericks played Eyes Uptown as competitively as possible for most of their game on Saturday, until a couple of late picks doomed them. They can clearly hang with any D1 team at this point though, which gives more credence to "we should combine D1 and D2" chatter around the League.

#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Lost to Scared Hitless 43-16

Frodo was painfully short handed last week against Scared Hitless, so we hesitate to even view their loss to Scared Hitless as an "upset" (if anything it means Scared Hitless could be playing D1 teams!). Garrett drops in the Power Rankings not because he lost, but because Burr won.

#7 Andy Strug - The Malones

Last Week: Beat Jabronies 50-44, beat Toppers All-Stars & Todd 38-29

Stop the presses: The Malones scored only 38 points in a game! They won (of course) and they scored 50 right before that, so the wheels haven't exactly fallen off this offense yet. What a consistently excellent team. Andy does an incredible job throwing against some very good defenders.

#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Did Not Play

Travis "the TSL's greatest backup QB" Cleavenger threw for Scared Hitless this week in their win over Frodo.

#9 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for the Pillsbury Dough-boy this week (not a great nickname for someone who's obviously not fat... we'll come up with something better).

#10 David Eickhoff - Freeballers

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 33-8

Missing half your roster is never good. Missing half your roster against a team from a higher division in a crossover game is a recipe for disaster. We aren't judging Eickhoff too harshly for this one -- it would have been a different game with a few other guys there.

#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for Wanderers last week. They still have a chance at the #1 seed in D3 if they can top the Malones this week (which no one else has this season).

#12 Theo Russell - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Puckett, they'll play a double on June 15th to make it up.

#13 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Lost to The Malones 50-44

We've got to blame the defense for this one. If you score 44 points in this League, you're expected to win the game. Joe did a great job against a great team, but Jabronies will have to find a little something extra if they're going to win a playoff rematch against the Malones.

#14 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Beat Buffalo Vice 36-28

Let's Get Reccked have never finished with a winning record in their team's history, and they won't this season either. But after beating Buffalo Vice last weekend, they can at least finish .500 if they get one more win against Toppers All Stars & Todd. With a full strength Garrett back at receiver for playoffs, this is a team that could upset anyone in D3.

#15 Damien Keller - Keller Whales

Last Week: Tied Bullet Club 30-30

Ties are boring. Ties suck. What if we had some kind of in-game tiebreaker that wasn't overtime (which puts the fields behind schedule), like "most gender TDs" or "most successful two point conversions" etc? Keller Whales are 3-3-1 heading into the last game of the season. Will they go into the playoffs as winners or losers? Or will they tie again???

#16 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 44-41, lost to Let's Get Reccked 36-28

Buffalo Vice's regular season is over with a 3-5 record. You know what? That's not too bad for a first season after jumping up from years in D4. Three more points in Week One against the Wanderers, and they could have been at .500 already. These guys will be alright as long as Andy's arm doesn't fall off.

#17 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated, Back That Pass Up

Last Week: Beat Vaspian 49-16 (PWI), beat Just Joshing 52-34 (BTPU)

Buddy is 7-1 in the last month, with his only loss coming against Pit Harade a few weeks ago (we're assuming he QBed that, we don't actually remember). PWI is one of a few real contenders in D4 as they have the rare ability to keep up with the Stunts for gender TDs; plus BTPU has gone from "can't win a game" to "feels like they can't lose".

#18 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 44-41 (Practice Squad)

B's teams are a combined 7-7 coming into the last week of the season. Nothing wrong with that, it means they're right in the mix for each division. Tots probably have the better chance of taking home a championship in our opinion, but we're not counting out Practice Squad either.

#19 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club

Last Week: Tied Keller Whales 30-30

Is it true that Bullet Club was ahead before Dylan had to leave for New York, and then they settled for a tie? For all the adversity Bullet Club has endured this session, this is a team that still believes in themselves and believes in their QB. If you're looking for an #8 seed to bet on for playoffs, this is the one.

#20 Brandt Dubey - Toppers All-Stars & Todd

Last Week: Lost to The Malones 38-29

We weren't sure who to rank for a while between Topper and Dubey, so we didn't rank either. Looks like it's Dubey at this point, which means Topper's arm has officially run out of juice (R.I.P.). Dubey is playing well considering he was a late add and he'd never played with many of these people before. Can TAS&T win a playoff game? If they do, they'll likely get a rematch against Malones in the next round.

#21 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 42-1

42-0 would have looked SO much better. Way to throw a pick-one, Ethan! We're not sure how many people Cobblestone had on Saturday (they average about 5 players per week) so this could either be an impressive win against great athletes, or a beat-down against short handed opponents. Tough to rank that.

#22 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Beat TMA 53-0

53-0 is pretty impressive any way you cut it. Of course, PowerPuff Girls scored 44 points with their backup QB an hour later, so maybe it's just the girls who deserve the credit? Kyle wouldn't argue with that we're sure, but either way, this should be a tough out for any team in the D5 playoffs.

#23 Mitchell Bennett - Creekers

Last Week: Lost to Cunning Stunts 51-15

The Stunts are just killing everyone, and it's crazy to see how hard it has been for teams to score against defenses with five girls. We'd knock Mitch down more for this loss, but should we really hold it against him if NO one can beat this team?

#24 Kelly Kane - GUCCI

Last Week: Beat Travis Henry's Kids 42-8

We thought GUCCI vs THK would be the game of the year in D5 with two heavyweights slugging it out. We were wrong. GUCCI murdered the Kids, and finished their regular season undefeated (with one tie). Of course they've had great regular seasons before and still lost early in the playoffs. Does Kelly and team have a plan to make sure they last longer this time?

#25 Paul LoVullo - Come From Behind

Last Week: Did Not Play

We're PRETTY sure it wasn't Paul throwing for CFB this week.

#26 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids

Last Week: Lost to Not So Sticky 38-16, lost to GUCCI 42-8

Is this what John Langley looks like without Pete Walbrandt to bail him out? Yikes. Buy him dinner, buy him flowers, hang on to him however you can John. Life without him is not pretty. GUCCI we get... but Not So Sticky??

#27 Derek Pew - Vaspian

Last Week: Lost to PWI 49-16

Vaspian's two wins are against last place teams that are currently a combined 2-12. Their two opponents on Saturday are a combined 11-2. We don't bet on sports... but if we did, we PROBABLY wouldn't bet our houses on a Vaspian win this week. Maybe Derek and company will prove us wrong.

#28 Raghavan Nagarajan - Not So Sticky

Last Week: Beat Travis Henry's Kids 38-16

"Not So Sticky just destroyed Travis Henry's Kids" was not a sentence we ever planned to type, but Rags has been the difference maker this year as Not So Sticky no longer looks like the punching bag it has in the past. Last regular season NSS lost all nine games. This regular season NSS lost only two.

#29 Carson Wright - Roaring 20's

Last Week: Lost to Reset Warriors 38-26

The Roaring 20s could be one of the best teams in the League in a couple years. They're young and wildly athletic. But a huge part of this League is learning what works and what doesn't, and all the best teams have what the '20s don't: experience. Keep an eye on Carson!

#30 Darryl Carr - Cobblestone

Last Week: Lost to ILF 42-1

Cobblestone has been plagued by poor attendance all season. Can you imagine how good these guys could be if Darryl convinced Garrett to come back and play for them? It's brutal watching five-on-six or four-on-six football so often. Cobblestone scored one point on Saturday... and it didn't come from Darryl.

Fancy Statistics Section

"That team is too good for their division".

"They don't belong in D3, that's definitely a D2 team"

Hang out at the bar long enough and listen to people talk about their games, and you're bound to hear someone complaining that a team shouldn't be in their division because they're "too good".

But what does that even mean?

There's always one team in first place, so there's nothing wrong with having a better record than your opponents. It only becomes a "problem" if teams feel like they don't have a chance at a championship because that one team is truly unbeatable. So we thought it would be interesting to look at which teams stand out (for better OR for worse) in their divisions, and see which teams really ARE "too good" (or "too bad") for their divisions.

Let's start with the obvious: wins and losses. There are three unbeaten teams in the League between The Malones (D3), Cunning Stunts (D4) and GUCCI (D5), although GUCCI does have a tie on their record. Then there is, surprisingly, only ONE team in the League with a single loss, and that is the Wanderers (D3). Every other team has at LEAST two losses*, and if you've lost two games in your division, you're clearly not "too good" to play in it.

*Mavericks' second loss was against a D1 team, but they have a loss and a tie within their own division too, so we think that logic holds up here too.

So that leaves Malones, Stunts and GUCCI as teams that can make a case for being "too good" for their division. But are they really crushing everybody, or just the recipients of a few lucky bounces? As always, we turned to math for an answer.

Below is a graph of each division's League leader in point differential per game (margin of victory) minus the NEXT best team in their division's point differential per game. In other words, how much bigger is their margin of victory than the next best teams? Here's what we found:

The Malones and Cunning Stunts, it turns out, probably ARE too good for their divisions. Both teams are undefeated, and both teams are winning games by 12+ points per game more than the second best team in their division. It feels like they could both be playing a division up, without any issue. GUCCI is, of course, better than the rest of their division, but not by more than D2 Mavericks, or much more than D1 Eyes Uptown. They probably belong in D5 (for now).

So if the Malones and Cunning Stunts are the two teams that we can say are "too good" for their divisions, are there any teams on the other end of the spectrum that should move down?

Every team in the TSL has at least one win except for Two Tuddies, but even the Tuddies have a tie... against a team that ALSO tied GUCCI (seems impossible for one team to tie an unbeaten and a winless team, but it happened). And then there are seven teams in the TSL with exactly one loss. Let's run the same type of graph for margin of defeat for the worst team in each division, vs the second worst:

Maybe you're not a "graph person" so we'll explain to you why this one is actually super interesting!

Four of the six divisions (D2, D3, D4, D6) have almost NO difference between the worst team and the second worst, which means every team in those divisions should at least have SOME competitive games in the division they're assigned.

D5 has a slightly bigger gap between "worst team" TMA and "second worst team" Two Tuddies... but TMA actually BEAT the Tuddies, so clearly you can't say TMA "isn't good enough" to be in the same division as Tuddies.

The only division that really stands out is D1 with Frodo Swaggins. Frodo is losing by an average of 13.9 points per game, which is 15.7 points worse than the next worst team in their division (Eyes Downtown, who are actually WINNING by 1.9 points per game). Frodo Swaggins is a VERY good team... but they play in a division with only three other VERY good teams. If you want to look at records and point differentials to see if any teams should move DOWN a division, the answer is Frodo Swaggins... and yet, they beat the reigning D1 champions this season. So why wouldn't they want to play the best teams, if they've shown they're capable of beating them?

TL;DR: Most teams are in the right division, and even those who probably should move up or down a division can still win or lose on any given Saturday.

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 5 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Wednesday, 29 May 2024 19:10; Published: Wednesday, 29 May 2024 19:10; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 138

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

If we've said it once, we've said it a thousand times... rankin' QBs ain't easy! Our Committee often disagrees amongst itself, and we argue about why someone should be ranked higher or lower. This week we've decided to show you the positive spin on each of these QBs and tell you why some of our members believed they deserved to be ranked HIGHER.

Enjoy!

#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 34-21

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's number one, he can NOT be ranked higher!

#2 Joey Batts - Eyes Uptown / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 42-37 (Eyes Uptown)

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has more points per game than any other QB in the highest division, AND more points per game than any other QB in the fourth division!

#3 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Uptown 42-37

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has led his team to the best record in D1 despite preseason odds from the Godfather that they would finish in third place!

#4 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks

Last Week: Did Not Play

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has scored 84 more points than the quarterback ranked above him in the same number of games (yes, in a lower division)!

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 34-21

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He deserves credit for having the biggest balls in the game, taking on D1 opponents every week when other teams would have dropped to D2 in the face of that competition!

#6 Andy Strug - The Malones

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 60-30

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has scored 46, 48, 54 and 60 points in his four games so far this season! No one is CLOSE to that.

#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 39-18

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's got his team in second place after losing the best girl in the League... and even though this doesn't count for QB rankings, he's by FAR the best defensive player in the charts so far!

#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Untouchaballs 39-18

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's one win away (against a winless team) from locking up the #2 seed in the insanely competitive D2 (which would put him one spot ABOVE the QB ranked ahead of him)!

#9 David Eickhoff - Freeballers

Last Week: Did Not Play

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: His team sneakily has the second best point differential in D2 (and the ONLY positive team besides Mavericks) which makes them POSSIBLY the second best team in D2! Yes, we know QBs have nothing to do with points against, but it's still worth pointing out that this is a solid team!

#10 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Puckett All-Stars 47-46

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: We have eyes, and he's obviously a better passer than anyone else in this League! Imagine what CTT could do if they ever figured out how to play defense...

#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Did Not Play

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: There are ten QBs ranked above him, and nine of them have all lost a game so far... which Frank hasn't! Doesn't winning and losing mean anything?

#12 Theo Russell - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Lost to Puckett All-Stars 47-46

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: His team jumped up two divisions, and yet they have only ONE loss by more than one score! You're really going to hold a 47-46 loss against the QB???

#13 Damien Keller - Keller Whales

Last Week: Did Not Play

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's 3-1, and the QB ranked directly above him is 0-5! Divisions matter, but so does winning.

#14 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 39-38

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: Half his team seems brand new to football and he's still scoring over 30+ PPG! Some teams are stacking their rosters with stars, while Jabronies are building their own.

#15 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Did Not Play

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: His full team rarely shows up (or shows up limping or hungover or both) and it usually falls on him to bail them out!

#16 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Beat Jabronies 39-38, lost to Bullet Club 28-22

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's got Vice smack in the middle of the D3 standings, in their first session after moving up from D4! Aren't QBs supposed to struggle when they move up?

#17 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week: Lost to the Malones 60-30 (Squad), beat Vaspian 40-7 (Tots)

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: Tater Tots were a middle of the pack D5 team before B made them immediate D4 contenders, and Practice Squad were what, D5 before B pushed them all the way up to D2 (someone fact check us there)? The man elevates his team every season!

#18 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club

Last Week: Beat Buffalo Vice 28-22

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's a couple lucky bounces away from Bullet Club being 3-0 in their last few games! They almost beat Wanderers, remember...

#19 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated, Back That Pass Up

Last Week: Beat Creekers 43-34 (PWI), lost to Pit Harade 36-16 (BTPU)

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has PWI at second place in D4, and he probably played every one of those games while drunk! He also has BTPU at .500 right now, a season after they finished the regular season 1-8.

#20 Mitchell Bennett - Creekers

Last Week: Did Not Play

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He won D5 and then immediately led Creekers to a winning record (so far) in D4!

#21 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week: Did Not Play

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: His team has the worst defense of any team considered a "contender" in D4 (32.4 PPG Allowed), which puts all the pressure on Ethan to bail them out!

#22 Kelly Kane - GUCCI

Last Week: Did Not Play

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: She's one of only five undefeated QBs, she's carrying the torch for female QBs everywhere, she's freakin' awesome... she should be in the Top Twenty at LEAST!

#23 Paul LoVullo - Come From Behind

Last Week: Beat Not So Sticky 16-7

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has the strongest arm in the League (it should be legally classified as "a cannon") and his team is scoring like 50 PPG when Paul plays (in decent weather only!)

#24 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids

Last Week: Beat TMA 28-14

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He'd undefeated and one of only four teams scoring 40+ PPG! It almost feels like the Power Rankers (and Sentinel, and Godfather, and Podcast) are holding it against him for dropping down to D5...

#25 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Did Not Play

Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's playing his first session as the QB1 of all girls team so his wins/stats aren't going to match many of the QBs above him... but anyone who watches this League knows he's a top fifteen QB easy!

Fancy Statistics Section

This doesn't really count as "fancy statistics"... but have you ever wondered what the TSL would look like if divisions were all the same size? D1 and D2 are typically smaller than the others because, frankly, teams don't want to play against the top teams. But what if they HAD to? There are 45 teams in the League excluding Breakfast Club. If we sorted them into six divisions of 7 or 8 teams based on their current records, ignoring what division they signed up for, would this make the League better or worse? Better for some, worse for others we suppose... here's what it would look like:

Honestly? These look pretty competitive! The "worst" team in each division would have a chance against the "best".

And just for fun, here's what it would look like if we randomized divisions alphabetically:

LOOK AT DIVISION C-G!!! Poor Dogg Pound... they'd be stuck in a division with seven absolute killers. We assume division champs would be Can't Touch This, Eyes Up or Downtown, Mavericks, Puckett All-Stars, Sticky Bandits and the Untouchaballs, but you never know...

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 6 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 06 June 2024 17:46; Published: Thursday, 06 June 2024 17:46; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 128

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

There are 45 teams in this League, not including Breakfast Club. Is your QB one of the lucky 25 that got ranked below? Let's find out!

#1 Joey Batts - Eyes Uptown / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Eyes Downtown 36-31 (Eyes Uptown), beat Tater Tots 54-30 (Cunning Stunts)

D1: Best record, most points scored, longest winning streak in the division

D4: Best record, most points scored, longest winning streak in the division

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Uptown 36-31

Eyes Downtown were one play away from the #1 seed in the Division, but the defense couldn't hold on, so now the defending champs enter the D2 crossover games in third pace. Nobody saw that coming.

#3 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for the Bandits this week.

#4 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for the Mavericks this week.

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for the Swaggers this week.

#6 Andy Strug - The Malones

Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 62-29

In their last five games (all wins) the Malones have scored 62, 60, 46, 54 and 48 points. There are 31 teams in the League that haven't scored 46+ points ONCE this season, let alone every single game.

#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for the Untouchaballers this week.

#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Puckett All-Stars 48-36

Scoring 36 points while down a player is actually pretty impressive, this DEFINITELY doesn't hurt Dylan's Power Ranking this week.

#9 David Eickhoff - Freeballers

Last Week: Tied Can't Touch This 41-41

The wily veteran vs the young gun produced a classic on Saturday as Freeballers and Can't Touch This battled to a high scoring tie. This is what football is all about! (Watch for copy/paste below)

#10 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Tied Freeballers 41-41

The wily veteran vs the young gun produced a classic on Saturday as Freeballers and Can't Touch This battled to a high scoring tie. This is what football is all about! (This is the copy/paste)

#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat Keller Whales 28-17, lost to Jabronies 45-35

Wanderers lost their first game of the season on Saturday to Jabronies, but that losing streak lasted only about an hour before they'd righted the ship. Frank looked as good as ever, but they've got to figure out a way to play defense if they're going to stop Jabronies in the playoffs.

#12 Theo Russell - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 48-36

The first win is finally here! Yes, it comes with a massive asterisk as Scared Hitless was playing short-handed, but a win's a win. Puckett can't get one of the two first round byes in D2, but if they win out they CAN avoid finishing in last!

#13 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Wanderers 45-35, beat Bullet Club 27-20

If not for The Malones, Jabronies would be the hottest team in D3 right now. Hey, who's that on the schedule for June 8th? It's the Malones! The Godfather will probably tell you the same, but the "game of the day" will be at 10 am this weekend.

#14 Damien Keller - Keller Whales

Last Week: Did Not Play

The Whales (pronounced "whalies") lost on Saturday, but Damien wasn't around, so you can blame a McGregor for this one!

#15 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Did Not Play

They DID get Reccked on Saturday by the Malones, but not with Alex QBing.

#16 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for the Vicers this week.

#17 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week: Lost to Cunning Stunts 54-30 (Tots)

Okay the Stunts are just a really good team. Does anyone believe they wouldn't be a .500 team in D3? They need to just win and move up already, so all the rest of D4 like the Tater Tots can compete for a title without worrying about those ladies.

#18 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated, Back That Pass Up

Last Week: Beat Blitzkrieg 30-26 (BTPU)

Remember when Back That Pass Up was a winless team in last place? Somewhere along the line they learned to play football, as they're currently sitting at 3-2 with two weeks left to play.

#19 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club

Last Week: Lost to Jabronies 27-20

Dylan drops a spot in the Power Rankings this week, but he really shouldn't if we consider the miracle he pulled off in Breakfast Club with that Jeneva Conventions roster... but we DON'T count Breakfast Club, so that Jabronies loss has knocked him down a spot.

#20 Mitchell Bennett - Creekers

Last Week: Beat Roaring 20s 29-20, lost to Cobblestone 22-19

The Creekers went 1-1 on the weekend but eye witnesses said they had a lot of drops and stalled red zone appearances that killed them. We don't see them beating the Stunts in the playoffs, but they're definitely good enough to make some noise.

#21 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week: Beat Reset Warriors 27-26

ILF is #2 in the D4 standings right now... despite being -3 in point differential on the season. Are these guys any good? The Falcons finish the season against Cobblestone and Vaspian, so we imagine they'll hang on to that #2 seed regardless.

#22 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for the Kids this weekend.

#23 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls

Last Week: Beat Stir the Sauce 52-33

PowerPuff girls have only game this season where they've scored between 16 and 42 points. They've either dominated, or been completely shut down. We're not sure what to make of them yet, but our gut says there's too much talent here for an early playoff exit.

#24 Kelly Kane - GUCCI

Last Week: Beat Come From Behind 17-14, tied Not So Sticky 18-18

One win and one tie against two teams with winning records is a good thing for GUCCI, but the low point totals aren't helping Kelly's Power Ranking. It's easy to win games when your defense is allowing only 16 points per game!

#25 Paul LoVullo - Come From Behind

Last Week: Lost to GUCCI 17-14, beat Come From Behind 50-14

Paul ran into the vicious GUCCI defense this weekend to take what we think is HIS first loss of the season... but he rebounded quickly and destroyed Two Tuddies an hour later, so we're not too worried about Come From Behind.

Fancy Statistics Section

Here are the best (and worst!) offenses in the League, by division. If you're curious how you compare against the Buffalo Bills (SuperBowl era OR Josh Allen era) we've included their stats on the bottom as well. Enjoy!

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 4 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Wednesday, 22 May 2024 12:38; Published: Wednesday, 22 May 2024 12:38; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 175

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

Sometimes we're lazy

and write the Haiku Rankings

Today is that day.

#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 35-20

Number one QB,

Beat the unbeaten Bandits,

Congrats to Bobby!

#2 Joey Batts - Eyes Uptown / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 49-8 (Eyes Uptown), beat Roaring 20s 51-28 (Cunning Stunts)

Most points in D1,

Most points in D4 per game,

Should be number one!

#3 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 23-12, lost to Eyes Downtown 35-20

Lost to Eyes Downtown,

Still best record in D1,

Then he beat Frodo.

#4 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 56-38, lost to Can't Touch This 31-27

First loss of season,

Mavericks still pretty good,

Might clinch one seed soon!

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 23-12, lost to Eyes Uptown 49-8

Forty nine to eight,

What a shitty way to lose,

Sticky game was close!

#6 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 56-38

Hitless lost a game,

Undefeated season's dead.

Still a solid team

#7 David Eickhoff - Freeballers

Last Week: Beat Untouchaballs 30-16

How bout that Eickhoff?

He ages like a fine wine.

Big win against Champs!

#8 Andy Strug - The Malones

Last Week: Beat Keller Whales 46-20

Malones win battle

Of unbeaten D3 teams.

Can't slow down this O!

#9 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Lost to Freeballers 30-16

Burr put up sixteen,

That's not enough to win games!

Champs are in trouble?

#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 35-29

One more win for Frank,

Wanderers are unbeaten

Is this their season??

#11 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Mavericks 31-27

The streak is over!

Can't Touch This finally wins!

Can they keep it up?

#12 Theo Russell - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Theo

Puckett All-Stars on a bye

First win is coming.

#13 Damien Keller - Keller Whales

Last Week: Lost to The Malones 46-20

Malones beat the Whales

and it was not very close.

Maybe in playoffs?

#14 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Topper All Stars & Todd 27-13

Happy birthday Joe!

Team celebrates with a win.

Joe's mojo is back.

#15 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 29-28

Close win for Buchlis,

Reccked needs people to show up

Sucks when short handed.

#16 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week: Lost to Let's Get Reccked 29-28 (Practice Squad), lost to ILF 23-16 and PWI 38-28 (Tater Tots)

Tots finally lost,

Three losses in one day, B??

Not your best work, Ford!

#17 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for B. Vice.

Brutal schedule to start year,

They needed a break!

#18 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club

Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 35-29

Heart breaking close loss!

Bullet Club not that far off,

They won't go winless.

#19 Mitchell Bennett - Creekers

Last Week: Beat Vaspian 42-12

Another huge win,

The Creekers are legit good.

Can they win D4??

#20 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week: Did Not Play

Ethan did not play,

ILF won with Langley.

Ethan holds them back??

Fancy Statistics Section

Here are the top ten best (and worst!) offenses, defenses, and point differentials in the League through the first four weeks. As always, all numbers are shown on a per game basis:

A few observations:

Travis Henry's Kids, Cunning Stunts, Creekers, Sausage McMuffins and Blitzkrieg each appear on all three "best of" lists, which means they're having very strong starts to their season. Most impressive might be either the Stunts (we expect their offense to be prolific, but how about that all girls defense???) or the Creekers (who moved up a division and are STILL killing it), and least impressive are Travis Henry's Kids (the "anti-Creekers" who moved DOWN a division, and get an asterisk next to all their accomplishments this season).
The Roaring 20's, Reset Warriors, and TMA are the only three teams to appear on all three "worst of" lists, but two of them are brand new teams so we'll give them a pass. We remember when TMA was really good... roster turnover (and aging) are tough to overcome!
How about Pit Harade? They have the fifth worst offense in the League at 18.75 PPG... but they're 3-1 on the season on the strength of their #1 defense (allowing 13.25 PPG).
Four of the five worst point differentials in the TSL belong to brand new teams. In fact Just Joshing has the best point differential in the TSL right now for a true "brand new team"... and they're -7.3 PPG, good for 32nd in the League! Moral of the story: it takes time to figure out how to succeed in this League. If you're struggling right out of the gate, it doesn't mean you won't turn it around eventually!

What's YOUR ranking?

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