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WEEK 6 POWER RANKINGS

Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
Created: Thursday, 28 September 2023 17:14
Published: Thursday, 28 September 2023 17:14
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 3

 

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  
 
TWENTY FIVE Quarterbacks are ranked this week, so D5 will see a little more coverage than usual, and... you guessed it... a graph.  Don't you love feeling like you're in 7th grade math class again?
 
 
#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 43-35
The TSL's top ranked QB took down the (previously) second ranked QB and now has the best record AND the most points per game in the highest division.  Not much else to say here.  Bobby is the unquestioned #1 right now... but he's still only 1-2 against Legends this season.
 
#2 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week:  Beat Legends 36-24 (Losing Streak), beat Cle-Avengers Assemble 31-20, lost to Practice Squad 40-33 (Mavericks)
Losing Streak bested Legends on Saturday and Jordan is now at his highest spot ever in the Power Rankings.  Of course nobody ever dreams of being #2, but without another regular season game against Eyes Downtown this year, it would take a collapse on Bobby's part for Jordan to make it to #1.  Between Losing Streak and Mavericks, Jordan has the 9th and 11th highest scoring teams in the TSL.
#3 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week:  Lost to Frodo Swaggins 39-30, lost to Eyes Downtown 43-35
The Sticky Bandits have now lost more games in the past three weeks than they have in any season going back to Fall of 2021.  The roster is always more or less the same here, and they're still scoring 30+ points in all but one game this season.  Tough to say why it isn't translating into wins, but either way, Mike drops another spot in the Power Rankings this week.
 
#4 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week:  Lost to Losing Streak 36-24
The three-time world champion returned as QB of Legends for the first time this week, and promptly went 0-1 as their starter.  Is he still the guy they'll turn to for playoffs, or has he lost the Legends starting QB gig?  Either way, the Cunning Stunts are still the highest scoring team in the TSL, so he has that going for him.
 
#5 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Freeballers
Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 42-32
Has a team ever turned around their season as quickly as Freeballers?  These guys were 0-1 in the first three weeks of the season, and have ripped off five straight wins in the three weeks that followed.  Freeballers have the best offense, best defense, and best point differential in D2.  If they can get by Untouchaballs this week, they'll be huge favorites to take the #1 seed for playoffs.
 
#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 39-30 (Frodo), beat Creekers 32-26 (BAADies)
There wasn't much rust on Garrett Beesing's arm on Saturday after taking two weeks off as he led Frodo to their first win of the season (and BAADies to their fourth, but that's less interesting).  The consensus from many on D1 this session was "it's four teams and Frodo", but Garrett is already proving that wrong.
 
#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for Untouchaballs this week, with a Freeballers showdown looming on the horizon.
 
#8 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week:  Lost to THREAD 34-33
Can't Touch This are 2-2 in their last four games after a red-hot start... and both of those wins came against 2-5 Scared Hitless.  Are they the team that wrecked D2 in the first month of the season?  Or are they the team that's struggling to pick up quality wins now?  Tough to say.  Their two losses have come by 1 point... and 40 points.
 
#9 Terrell Bolden - The Family
Last Week:  Beat Wanderers 40-38
The Family are now in first place in D3 after a big win over Wanderers, and Bolden has scored 40+ points in all five of their wins.  They also control their own destiny: if they close out the season with wins over Let's Get Reccked and Vaspian, they should take the #1 seed for playoffs.  Of course that may not matter in D3, as the 8th seed right now belongs to the Wanderers, who were two points away from catching the Family last Saturday.
 
#10 Travis Cleavenger - Cle-Avengers Assemble
Last Week:  Lost to Mavericks 31-20, beat Practice Squad 47-26
Cle-Avengers Assemble are 2-4 this season after beating Practice Squad and losing to Mavericks, and surprisingly that Mavericks game was their first "one score" game of the season.  All of their previous wins and losses have been much more decisive.  
 
#11 Mark Dalfonso - THREAD
Last Week:  Beat Can't Touch This 34-33
The weirdest season ever continues, as THREAD is now 3-0 against the top three teams in their division... and 0-4 against the rest of it.  Let us know if you can make sense of that, because we can't.  
 
#12 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week:  Lost to Freeballers 42-32
We expected Scared Hitless to dominate D2 once they dropped down from D1, but they're 2-5 as the regular season draws close to an end.  Are they going to remember they were a team that once had a shot at a D1 finals?  Or are they going to hit rock bottom and go back to D3 in the Spring?  Let's see how the next couple of weeks go.
 
#13 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week:  Lost to The Family 40-38
The Wanderers are in last place in D3 a few short months after being 2 points away from winning the whole damn thing.  Okay, "last place" in D3 is kind of meaningless because of all the parity top-to-bottom in this division, and the Wanderers stats are a bit skewed by one short-handed week.  No one in D3 can be written off... but we wouldn't call them "favorites" right now either.
 
#14 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / 716
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No games for B this week.  The TSL's most loveable QB/Ref should be back next week we hope.
#15 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No games for Let's Get Reccked this week, but rumor is that Alex was an excellent ref during his bye week (we would do Ref Power Rankings, but think of all the hate mail we'd get).
 
#16 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice
Last Week:  Beat Travis Henry's Kids 49-41, lost to Father Baker 36-32
Buffalo Vice is settled into that "not quite Cunning Stunts, but better than most other teams in D4" groove right now.  The only two teams they've played so far this season and haven't beaten at least once are the two gender teams in their division.
 
#17 Damien Keller - Keller Whales
Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 39-38
Keller Whales seem to have Bullet Club's number, but looking for other trends in D3 right now is pointless.  Six of the eight teams in this division are winning or losing their games by an average of 2 or fewer points per game.  That's crazy!  Keller Whales are in 2nd place at 4-2 right now, but they're smack in the middle of this convoluted pack statistically.
 
#18 John Langley - Bullet Club / Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week:  Lost to Keller Whales 39-38 (Bullet Club), beat TMA 24-18, lost to Buffalo Vice 49-41 (Travis Henry's Kids)
Since we don't count subbing games in the Power Rankings, Langley went 1-2 on Saturday with his only win coming against winless TMA.  John has been okay this session, but we expected more from Bullet Club if we're being honest.  
#19 T.J. Ferguson - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No games for Puckett this week.
#20 Brian Orzechowski - Vaspian
Last Week:  Lost to 716 27-12
Life without Drew isn't easy as Vaspian could only muster 12 points without their star receiver.  They're still 4-2 though which is more than many expected for them at this point in the season.
 
#21 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated / Back That Pass Up
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No Buddy sightings at the fields this week.
#22 Paul LoVullo - Come From Behind
Last Week:  Beat Goatsack 52-7, lost to Cobblestone 46-30
Come From Behind showed no mercy against Goatsack this week with a 52-7 annihilation.  When these guys are on, they're ON.  A loss to suddenly spry Cobblestone dropped their record to 5-3 on the season, but if a full Come From Behind shows up for playoffs (for once), we assume they'll be able to hang with anyone in D5... maybe even GUCCI.
#23 Kelly Kane - GUCCI
Last Week:  Beat Not So Sticky 46-6
GUCCI became the first team to complete their full schedule of 9 games this session, and we'd say it went pretty well.  They're 6-3 and in first place for the time being... but they would be 6-1 if we threw out the two games they played without Kelly.  This is the team to beat in D5.
#24 Darryl Carr - Cobblestone
Last Week:  Beat Come From Behind 46-30
Ignore the start of the season.  Cobblestone is 2-1 in their last three games, and two of those were massively short-handed when Darryl was playing with only two or three receivers.  They're not the favorites in D5 because they lack consistency, but if their whole team shows up to play on the same day...
#25 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for Ethan this week as ILF rolled to a 35-0 win with a sublist QB.
 
Fancy Statistics Section
This may come across as lazy.  We don't care.  We're repeating the Point Differentials by Team graph we did a few weeks ago when we said it was "too early to matter".  Now it matters.  
 
The REASON we're showing this again is to highlight how many teams are right in the middle now... or in other words, how many teams are barely winning or barely losing on average every week.  The gold stripe in the middle is calling out all the teams that are winning or losing games by an average score of 7 points or less (about a touchdown).  There are 33 of them in total, which means that 73% of the League is pretty competitive day to day.  There are also six teams that are dominating their opponents by more than a score per game (13%) and six unfortunate teams that are losing by more than a score per game (also 13%).  
 
Are you one of the dominant teams?  One of the big losers?  Let's find out!
 
 
 
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  
 
What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 5 POWER RANKINGS

Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
Created: Wednesday, 20 September 2023 20:39
Published: Wednesday, 20 September 2023 20:39
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 20
 
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  
 
We've got a Top Twenty for you today, and look, a graph, how ORIGINAL.  Without further adieu, the best quarterbacks in the League:
 
 
#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week:  Beat Legends 27-13
The TSL's top ranked QB beat the TSL's only undefeated D1 team on Saturday, so this is an easy call.  Bobby stays on top of the Power Rankings, and although his team went 1-2 against Legends this season, they can at least go into the playoffs saying "we figured these guys out by our third game, we'll be fine!"
 
#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week:  Lost to Legends 31-30
The Sticky Bandits had won 10 regular season games in a row before their Eyes Downtown loss a couple weeks ago (they might have won more indoors, but we don't track those) and now they're on their first two game losing streak in about a year.  On the plus side, Mike DID score more points against Legends than Bobby on Saturday.
 
#3 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for the QB of Cunning Stunts.  We have to start removing "Legends" from his name on this chart next week, since he still has yet to QB one game for them this season.
 
#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No games for Losing Streak or Mavericks this week.  Jordan wasn't spotted reffing either.  Who gave this guy the day off?
 
#5 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 33-28
Untouchaballs are the fourth highest scoring team in the TSL, and a win over Scared Hitless combined with a Can't Touch This implosion vs Freeballers moves Burr up a spot in the Power Rankings this week.  Untouchaballs had one random Saturday where they forget how to play defense and gave up 47 points (twice).  Other than that, they've been maybe the best team in D2.
 
#6 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week:  Lost to Freeballers 58-18, beat Scared Hitless 25-22
How does a team go 6-0 against the rest of their division and then get smoked by 40 points in their only loss?  Were they missing half their roster on Saturday?  Ryan will finish the season with two straight games against 2-4 THREAD, so it seems likely that he and Can't Touch This will earn the #1 seed in D2.  Who's their bigger playoff threat right now: Untouchaballs or Freeballers?
 
#7 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Freeballers
Last Week:  Beat Can't Touch This 58-18, beat Cle-Avengers Assemble 52-23
Hogan is really good at football.  It's been almost a year since he's won a game so maybe people have forgotten, but this is a guy who has already won D2 ("but he had Sean!" yeah, yeah) and has always put up points no matter what division he's played in.  On Saturday the Freeballers went from a bit of a D2 afterthought to an outright championship favorite.  
 
#8 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No games for Frodo or BAADies this week.  Two bye weeks in a row for a guy that QBs two teams means that he's going to have a LOT of doubleheader weeks (with both teams!) to make up for.
 
#9 Terrell Bolden - The Family
Last Week:  Beat Let's Get Reccked 62-28
The Family is the highest scoring non-gender team in the TSL.  They're scoring 46.2 PPG, and have broken the 60 point mark TWICE already.  Is there anyone willing to bet against these guys in a D3 playoff game?  
 
#10 Travis Cleavenger - Cle-Avengers Assemble
Last Week:  Lost to Freeballers 52-23
Cle-Avengers Assemble haven't established much of an identity yet this session.  What are they good at?  They're sixth on offense in their division, and dead last in defense.  Yes, they still have Travis who will give them a chance every week, but last session he was playing for (and winning) the D2 championship.  Tough to bet on that this season.
 
#11 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week:  Lost to Untouchaballs 33-28, lost to Can't Touch This 25-22
Scared Hitless play excellent defense, but it's tough to be competitive when you're only putting up 27.5 PPG in a division where the top teams are 40+.  The point differentials suggest they're the fifth best team in D2 overall, and that feels about right -- good enough to upset someone in the playoffs, not good enough to win the whole thing.
 
#12 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week:  Lost to Vaspian 40-33
The Wanderers are in 7th place in D3 (not really, but our website seems to think so) and they have the fourth worst defense in the entire TSL right now.  It's tough to win games when you're giving up 42.6 PPG, but other than a slaughter by Let's Get Reccked, their other losses have been within one score, so Frank must be doing something right.
 
#13 Mark Dalfonso - THREAD
Last Week:  Lost to Practice Squad 30-29
We're past the point in the season where we can chalk it up to rust with THREAD.  Six games in and they're 2-4.  They are what their record says they are right now.  Oddly their only two wins this season have been against Freeballers and Untouchaballs, two of the best teams in their division.  We can't explain it.
 
#14 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / 716
Last Week:  Beat THREAD 30-29 (Practice Squad), lost to the Malones 27-23 (716)
Mark it on your calendar folks.  September 16th 2023, Practice Squad FINALLY won a regular season game in D2. They've been close a dozen times of course - they're actually a pretty good team, but it's been hard for them to take that next step after they won D3 and moved up.  Congrats B and the Squad -- now turn it into a winning streak. 
 
#15 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week:  Lost to The Family 62-28, lost to the Malones 47-31
Let's Get Reccked were massively shorthanded this week and lost a player to injury early in their game, so not much to dissect about this week's losses.  Are they good enough to beat the Malones at full strength?  Sure.  Are they good enough to beat the Family at full strength?  We'll find out in the playoffs.
 
#16 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice
Last Week:  Beat ILF 37-8, lost to Travis Henry's Kids 31-29
Buffalo Vice are in second place in the D4 standings (behind Cunning Stunts), second place in D4 scoring (behind Cunning Stunts) and second place in D4 point differentials (behind Cunning Stunts).  Did we mention they got destroyed by Cunning Stunts a few weeks ago?  This is a great squad.  Great enough to win D4?  Maybe not, but great enough to have a chance.
 
#17 John Langley - Bullet Club / Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week:  Lost to Vaspian 39-29, lost to Keller Whales 30-19 (Bullet Club), beat Buffalo Vice 31-29, beat ILF 42-24 (Travis Henry's Kids)
Langley loves to complain about his arm ailments, but after this week's quadruple-header he probably has a legit claim to being sore.  Two losses in D3 and two wins in D4 add up to a C+ day for John.  THK looks suddenly more competitive than last season, while Bullet Club looks suddenly worse.  If anyone has any theories, let us know! (via the Godfather of course)
 
#18 T.J. Ferguson - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week:  Lost to Passing While Intoxicated 43-30
This is the type of game that Puckett usually wins by 30.  Is it just us or do they seem a bit off this session?  Yes, they don't have Vince anymore, but TJ is just as good, and their roster is loaded with talent.  Maybe they're just phoning it in until playoffs at this point?
 
#19 Brian Orzechowski - Vaspian
Last Week:  Beat Wanderers 40-33, beat Bullet Club 39-29
We should probably acknowledge Vaspian at some point, who are in first place in D3 as we enter the last few weeks of the season.  Raise your hand if you bet on THAT before the season.  Okay, put your hand down, you liar.  Vaspian is carrying on their tradition of being the worst offense in their division this session... but somehow being the best defense has carried them to a 4-1 record as they've won four in a row.  Is it sustainable?  We doubt it!  But Brian's an awesome guy, and we're rooting for him.
 
#20 Damien Keller - Keller Whales
Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 30-19
Keller Whales are the only team in D3 to have not lost a game by more than a touchdown all season.  This is a solid squad, and they've found the answer at QB in their third generation Keller.  They're statistically a little average at both offense and defense compared to the rest of their division so tough to label them a "D3 favorite", but they're one of only three teams in their division with a winning record, and that has to count for something. 
 
 
Fancy Statistics Section
We devote most of our energy to offense in this article, because let's face it, QB's are sexier than CB's.  But occasionally we like to look at defense... it's said to win championships, after all.  Here are the best (and worst!) defenses by average points per game allowed, across all divisions:
 
 
 
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  
 
What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 3 POWER RANKINGS

Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
Created: Wednesday, 06 September 2023 20:43
Published: Wednesday, 06 September 2023 20:43
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 22
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  
 
This week we have a Top 15 for you, and a "way too early to count, you should be embarrassed even reading this" graph for you.  Enjoy!
 
#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week:  Beat Losing Streak 37-18
Everyone tends to play Labor Day games missing half their teams, and D1 was no exception as seemingly every team was shorthanded.  This might have affected other QBs but it didn't seem to slow down the Sticky Bandits, as Mike cruised to another comfortable win to stay on top of the Power Rankings another week.  Up next are Eyes Downtown... the only team that Mike lost to in the Spring session.
 
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week:  Beat ILF 27-26
The good news is that Joey engineered a clutch last second Cunning Stunts victory to remain undefeated in D4.  The "bad" news is that Legends succeeded without him as QB as Sean took over this week, adding some fuel to the doubters that have always suggested that "ANYONE could win with this much talent on their team".   Is Joey still QB1, or is this a sign of things to come?  Where would Sean Weisensal land in our Power Rankings if we had to start ranking him?
 
#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week:  Lost to Legends 48-43
They may still win the championship, but the TSL's latest super-team won't go undefeated this season after falling to Legends this week.  Bobby doesn't drop in the Rankings (he scored 43 points against an elite defense) but he does drop in the D1 standings.  The top three teams look like they'll get a bye if the five-team D1 works like last Spring's five-team D2, and fortunately for Bobby Eyes Downtown aren't in any danger of falling out of the top three.
 
#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 37-18 (Losing Streak), beat THREAD 47-20 (Mavericks)
The dreaded Labor Day conflicts limited Jordan's available weapons on Losing Streak last week so tough to read too much into that game one way or another.  We DO read into the 27 point victory over THREAD though, and suspect that Mavericks will very much be in the D2 title chase this season.  And look!  They played defense!
 
#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week:  Beat Untouchaballs 47-41
Every season there seems to be a QB that elevates his game to a different tier.  Last session it was Garrett Beesing and his shockingly competitive Frodo Swaggins, and before that it Jeremy Burr with Untouchaballs.  This season's "most improved player" is clearly Ryan Dougherty.  Can't Touch This haven't slowed down at all since making the jump to D2, and we'll admit we're surprised.  They were 5-3 in D3 last session and barely won the D3 Championship game.  The fact that the same core of players is now 4-0 in a higher division is impressive to say the least.
 
#6 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week:  Lost to Can't Touch This 47-41, lost to THREAD 47-41
We're not sure what's more unlikely: one team having two losses with 47-41 final scores in the same day, or a Matt Helm defense giving up over 90 points in the same day.  Untouchaballs allowed 17.0 PPG last session!  Although he's surpassed by Ryan in the Power Rankings this week, we'd remind you that Burr DID score 82 points in these games, so not a horrible day at the office by any means.
 
#7 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week:  Lost to Legends 52-40 (Frodo Swaggins), beat Spinelli's Plumbing 57-52, tied Goatsack 44-44 (BAADies)
Three games scoring 40, 44 and 57 points is usually a pretty good day for a QB.  In this case it only worked out to a 1-1-1 record for Garrett, but sometimes that's the way it goes.  Frodo seems locked into that "Godfather's going to give them 1000-1 playoff odds at the end of the season" status, but BAADies are going to be fascinating to watch.  The thing about gender teams is that they often have game conflicts during the regular season with their girls' "first teams".  If Garrett's at full strength for playoffs when divisions all play at different times though, BAADies could be a surprise contender.
 
#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for Scared Hitless.  They're still undefeated, in case you've forgotten.
 
#9 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for the Wanderers.  They're still undefeated too, but we suspect you knew that one.
 
#10 Travis Cleavenger - Cle-Avengers Assemble
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for Cle-Avengers Assemble.  What's with all these byes?
 
#11 Mark Dalfonso - THREAD
Last Week:  Beat Untouchaballs 47-41, lost to Mavericks 47-20
What's with all these 47 point games?  THREAD scored and allowed 47 in separate games on Saturday to bring their record to 2-2.  Mark is a stud, and one of only six men to ever be ranked #1 in the 67 weeks that we've been doing QB Rankings.  We assume that after a few year's off, THREAD will only get better as they knock the rust off.  That, or their muscles have all atrophied and they'll start falling apart.  Let's hope it's not that!
 
#12 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Freeballers
Last Week:  Did Not Play
How have Freeballers still only played one game this session?  
 
#13 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / 716
Last Week:  Lost to Bullet Club 42-39, lost to Let's Get Reccked 36-21 (716)
Practice Squad and 716 are a combined 0-5, and B hasn't won a regular season game since October 1st 2022 (ironically that game was Practice Squad beating 716, the other team he now QBs for).  He's still a top dog in the TSL and he seems to save his magic for playoffs, but we'd still LIKE to see him win a regular season game this year...
 
#14 Terrell Bolden - The Family
Last Week:  Beat The Malones 68-46, lost to Vaspian 36-32
Sixty eight points is a lot.  Terrell Bolden was SLINGING it on Saturday as the Family cruised to a huge win over the Malones.  They lost to Vaspian, but that was a game they probably SHOULD have won.  The Family is loaded with athleticism and it all starts with Bolden, who is almost impossible to rush.
 
#15 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week:  Beat 716 36-21
Let's Get Reccked is 0-2 without their starting QB and 1-0 when he's present.  That's a pretty small sample size for games started, especially when your win is against a team that's currently 0-3, but in a few weeks we should have a better idea of Let's Get Reccked is a real contender in the division.  If they aren't, it won't be because they're lacking veteran savvy.
 
 
 
Fancy Statistics Section
So we've said you're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, because the sample size is too small to be meaningful (how do you evaluate Freeballers with their ONE game played??).  But we get SO bored without our graphs... let's just recklessly throw one together even though we all know it's pointless this early in the season!
 
Here is each team's average point differential per game (green is good, and red is bad).  This will likely look VERY different when we show this again in a few weeks:
 
 
 
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  
 
What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 4 POWER RANKINGS

Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
Created: Thursday, 14 September 2023 16:06
Published: Thursday, 14 September 2023 16:06
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 49
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  
 
Below we have ranked the TOP TWENTY quarterbacks in the TSL as well as a chart on the best (and worst!) teams in the League as we hit the halfway point.  
 
A quick reminder about the QB Rankings: we only try to rank the "starting" QBs of each team, which doesn't give backups any opportunity to shine.  This doesn't usually matter, but it's worth pointing out that Sean Weisensal has QBed four games this season outside of Breakfast Club and is 4-0, scoring 48+ points in three of those.  How would he rank compared to the QBs below?  Not a clue, but it would have to be pretty high, right?
 
 
#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 40-26
Bobby McConnell begins his fourth reign as the #1 Quarterback in the TSL (12 weeks total out of the last 68) by beating the Sticky Bandits.  Eyes Downtown still haven't quite solved their "Legends" problem, but Legends haven't quite established a starting QB on their own team this session, so Bobby's an easy choice over whoever they've got.  Eyes Downtown could almost (but not quite) lose out the rest of the season at this point and STILL guarantee a first round playoff bye.
#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week:  Lost to Eyes Downtown 40-26
Mike Thomas was the #1 QB in our Power Rankings for ten straight weeks, which somehow tied Chris Cole for longest streak on top in Power Rankings history.  But he fell one week short of outright breaking Cole's record after a 40-26 loss to Eyes Downtown.  This was the Sticky Bandits first regular season loss (excluding indoor) since Fall of 2022, and drops the team to 2-1 with undefeated Legends up next week.
 
#3 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week:  Beat Father Baker 53-44, beat TMA 45-22 (Stunts)
We're still listing Joey as the QB of Legends... but he hasn't played QB for that team all season, and we're past the halfway mark.  Is he still the starter?  Is Sean?  Is Travis?  It doesn't seem to matter for Legends, as they win no matter who throws the ball (Taylor Pagano is probably up next week), but we don't typically rank QBs this high if they're only throwing for a D4 team.  We'll see if Joey ever QBs for Legends again.  Maybe he's bored of winning D1 championships as a passer and wants to try it as a receiver.  But until then, the Stunts look awesome as they remain undefeated in D4, and Joey has THAT team firing on all cylinders (did we mention he outdueled #1 QB Bobby McConnell in the Battle of the Gender Teams?)
 
#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week:  Lost to Freeballers 50-20, beat THREAD 38-27 (Mavericks)
Mavericks seem to match up well against THREAD after their second win of the season against that squad.  It didn't go as well against Freeballers, where they scored an uncharacteristically low 20 points in defeat.  Jordan may rise in the Power Rankings next week if Joey Batts is retired as a D1 quarterback... or he may fall in the Rankings if the next guy catches up to him.
 
#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 36-23
The Can't Touch This train just keeps on going.  At what point do we stop asking how they're undefeated in D2 and start asking how they ever LOST three games in D3?? Their fifth win on Saturday already equals their regular season win total from last Spring (5-3).  This team is also awesome at the bar and quickly becoming the role model for what TSL teams ought to be.
 
#6 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week:  Beat Practice Squad 43-22
The Untouchaballs looked a lot more Untouchabally on Saturday with another win over Practice Squad.  There are no "bad" teams in D2 so playoff seeding doesn't REALLY matter that much, but you have to think that Untouchaballs would love the #1 seed and a first round rematch with Practice Squad, who they've never lost against dating back to last season.  They don't have a rematch on the schedule against Can't Touch This though, so unless their rivals utterly collapse, a #2 seed might be the best Burr can hope for.
 
#7 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No games for Garrett this week.  Enjoy the camping trip!
 
#8 Travis Cleavenger - Cle-Avengers Assemble
Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 41-30
We usually stick to just covering the teams where a QB is the "starter", so we'll start by mentioning that Cle-Avengers Assemble took down Scared Hitless 41-30 in only their third game of the season (and their first win).  We don't know much about Cle-Avengers yet other than their huge misfortune of losing Emily Curry for the season to injury.  Travis was the D2 Championship winning QB last session though, so we expect he'll have this team competitive as well.  And yes, he ALSO QBed Legends to a win over Eyes Downtown this week to keep his squad undefeated in D1.  How do you beat the #1 ranked QB and not become #1 in the QB Power Rankings?  By being a part-time starter, apparently.
 
#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week:  Lost to Cle-Avengers Assemble 41-30, lost to Can't Touch This 36-23
Scared Hitless started so strong this season with a double win on opening day.  Since then they had two weeks off, and now a double loss to get them back to 2-2.  Safe to say we have NO idea how good they are as a team right now at the halfway mark of the season.  
 
#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week:  Lost to Let's Get Reccked 57-14, lost to 716 52-46
The Wanderers got wreccked on Saturday (see what we did there?) and also lost to 716 to fall from undefeated to .500 in one afternoon.  Of course they were playing shorthanded with three girls allegedly, so that probably has something to do with it.  One bad day doesn't define a season... at least until playoffs.  We imagine they'll be healthier with better attendance by then.
 
#11 Mark Dalfonso - THREAD
Last Week:  Lost to Mavericks 38-27
When we heard that "Marketing Mayors" were returning to the TSL but in D2, we thought "that seems unfair, won't they just crush everyone?"  So far they haven't, as their second loss of the season to Mavericks dropped them to 2-3 and right in the thick of the D2 race.  Is it age, attendance issues, or something else that's holding them back from playing at the level they're capable?  We'll keep an eye on it.
 
#12 Terrell Bolden - The Family
Last Week:  Beat Keller Whales 44-37
The Family are the fourth highest scoring team in all of the TSL, and damn their offense is fun to watch.  Sure, their defense sucks sometimes (fourth worst in the TSL) but we're not a "Defense Power Rankings" article, are we?  Bolden is a dynamic playmaker and these guys go for the throat every game.  This is definitely not a team that anyone wants to run into in the D3 Playoffs.
 
#13 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week:  Beat Wanderers 57-14
Let's Get Reccked are 0-2 and averaging 21.5 PPG when their starting QB isn't present, and 2-0 with 46.5 PPG when he is.  Not much question who the MVP of this team is.  Buchlis's 46.5 PPG WOULD be the best of any non-gender team in the TSL.  Of course it helps to play Wanderers when they're shorthanded.  Next week's doubleheader against The Malones and The Family will tell us more about how good this team really is.
 
#14 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / 716
Last Week:  Lost to Untouchaballs 43-22
Practice Squad is now 0-12 in the regular season in D2 (and 1-1 in the playoffs somehow) and unable to solve their Untouchaballs problem.  B is always quick to take accountability, but we imagine he needs some more help too if they're going to be competitive in this division going forward.
 
#15 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Freeballers
Last Week:  Did Not Play
Freeballers with Hogan: 0-1.  Freeballers with Sean: 2-0.  We'll just leave this here.
 
#16 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice
Last Week:  Beat Puckett All-Stars 57-36
Puckett All-Stars is an incredible team and an institution in D4 these days.  How does ANYONE put up 57 points against these guys?? We looked into it (because of course we did) and Puckett All-Stars are allowing 53.7 PPG against Buffalo Vice in three games this year, and only 20.6 PPG against everyone else.  Andy seems to have just figured them out.
#17 T.J. Ferguson - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week:  Lost to Buffalo Vice 57-36
T.J. was the QB of Puckett one upon a time if we're remembering correctly... and then Vince Taverna took over for a while, and now T.J. is back?  Is that right?  Puckett hasn't been too affected by the change, as they're still a Top 15 offense in the TSL.  If they never had to play Buffalo Vice again, they might even be favorites (after the Stunts of course) for the D4 championship.
#18 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons
Last Week:  Beat Father Baker 36-18
ILF has gone through many QBs over the years, and they looked dead in the water when they lost Joe Miano and moved down to D5.  Ethan Herbold has made them relevant again though, to the point where they're now a complete team that doesn't have to rely on their defense to bail them out every game.  The top half of D4 looks REALLY competitive this session, and ILF could be the ones popping champagne at the end of the session if Herbold continues to play well.
#19 John Langley - Bullet Club / Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week:  Did Not Play
It feels like we've barely seen John this session.  What has he played, one game for Bullet Club?  Two for Travis Henry's Kids?  
#20 Damien Keller - Keller Whales
Last Week:  Lost to The Family 44-37
The TSL's youngest Quarterback and third generation Keller continues to play at a high level for the Keller Whales, who are sitting at 2-2 in a very tough D3.  It's ironic that they lost to a team called "the Family" this week.  Keller Whales ARE the family team of the TSL, and with Damien, the future is bright.
 
Fancy Statistics Section
So we've said you're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, because the sample size is too small to be meaningful... and guess what?  It's Week Four!  Yes, we know we broke down and did a "way too early to matter" graph last week, but now that we're at the halfway point of the season, we think we have a "this might actually matter" chart to share instead.
 
You've seen these before (we recycle our own ideas a lot, have you noticed?) but these are the Top Ten Best (and Worst!) Offenses, Defenses, and Overall Teams (by Point Differential) in the TSL:
 
 
What did that tell us?  For starters, we always think of the cut-offs for greatness as being 40+ PPG on offense or allowing fewer than 20 PPG on defense.  If you're doing better than that in either category, you should be in great shape.  
 
At the halfway mark of the season, we somehow have 8 teams averaging 40+ PPG on offense.  Incredible, but we expect it won't last.  In fact last Spring we had only ONE team that finished the season over 40 PPG and that was Puckett All-Stars, so over the next half of the season some of these teams will fall back to Earth.  
 
Defensively, we have only ONE team in the League that is allowing under 20 PPG and that is Sausage McMuffins (13.5 PPG).  Last Spring there were four teams that beat the 20 PPG Allowed mark.  
 
Why is scoring up so much this Fall?  We can't say for certain, but we have two theories: 1) John Langley hasn't played as many games this session yet to drag the scoring average down 2) we've had incredible weather to start the season, and great weather favors offensive football.  One miserable rainy day and we expect scoring averages to drop too.
 
Congrats to Freeballers for being the ONLY team in all three "Best of" lists.  Usually we have more overlap, but this season it's proving unusually difficult for teams to be great on both sides of the ball.
 
On the other side of the coin we have Father Baker as the only team in all three of the "Worst of" lists.  Unexpected, but we don't think that will last, at least on the offensive side.  This team is getting used to new QBs (no one has QBed more than one week yet) and they have too much talent not to score points.
 
Interestingly Legends is the 7th worst defense in the TSL right now, which is stunning because they're the only undefeated team in our highest division.  Apparently defense doesn't matter when you're able to score 46+ PPG.
 
 
 
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  
 
What's YOUR ranking?
 

WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS

Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
Created: Friday, 01 September 2023 13:30
Published: Friday, 01 September 2023 13:30
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 50
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  
 
We've always told our readers the same thing: if you want to read good, interesting writing about the TSL, we highly recommend you just read the Godfather.  It's always insightful, always interesting and relevant.  No, he doesn't have a perfect take on every team and player (he lives in Iowa for God's sake, give him a break) but he gives us GREAT content every week, and if you're like us (TSL junkies that just consume whatever League content we can get every week) it's like feeding our crack addiction.  
 
Don't get us wrong, we LOVE our own article.  Analytics, charts, graphs, all that bullshit gets us jazzed up for Saturdays like you wouldn't believe.  But it can be a struggle in the early weeks of the season when there's nothing statistically relevant to write about yet.  Four of our teams haven't even played yet, others started their seasons with backup QBs, and we don't even know who the starting QBs ARE on some squads yet.  We wanted to do a Top 15 this week, and realized we didn't have nearly enough info on teams to confidently publish those rankings yet.  So here we are, with no cool graphics to show you and the same ten QBs you read about last week. 
 
Sure, it's dull, but we promise you two things: 1) we're not going to fudge the Rankings with new and undeserving names just to "shake things up" 2) we will get more interesting throughout the season as we have more data available and more games to assess how good these quarterbacks really are.
 
That said, here are your Top Ten starting QBs in the TSL.  You will recognize all of these names from last week:
 
#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 37-28
The Sticky Bandits picked up where they left off last season (at least last regular season) with a win over Frodo Swaggins.  The team was shorthanded enough that Mike was forced to play defense and start three girls on offense, but the result was the same.  Can the Bandits keep up with Eyes Downtown and Legends and other teams that have improved this offseason?  We don't expect they'll go 8-0 again, but we do expect they will still be in the Championship mix at the end of the season.
 
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week:  Beat PWI 52-12, beat Buffalo Vice 61-33 (Stunts)
Legends continue their long Championship celebration sabbatical, so Joey's only action this season has been for the Stunts, who are immediately massive favorites to win D4.  This is primarily a QB article so we'll start by pointing out the 113 points Joey scored this week... but we ALSO want to point out that they allowed only 45 points in those same games, which is an incredible showing for a gender team.  Must be fun to win doubleheaders by nearly 70 combined points.
 
#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week:  Beat Losing Streak 47-33
Legends haven't even played yet, and the Sticky Bandits have only played one game against Frodo... but doesn't it already seem like Eyes Downtown are huge D1 favorites?  Losing Streak has GREAT defensive players, and yet Bobby nearly dropped 50 against them.  We also expect they'll get BETTER throughout the season too as Bobby adjusts to his new receivers' strengths and weaknesses.  Eyes Downtown have fallen short in the last two D1 Championship games, but this could be their best chance in years.
 
#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 59-36, lost to Eyes Downtown 47-33 (Losing Streak), lost to Can't Touch This 45-38 (Mavericks)
Jordan is currently 2-0 against Frodo Swaggins this session and 0-4 against everyone else.  That's not his fault of course (Mavericks are scoring boatloads of points, and both D1 losses were to Eyes Downtown) but it CAN'T be a lot of fun for someone so used to winning.  Both teams still seem like they have enough talent to compete for Championships so we're not writing off either one of them yet.  But it'll be on Jordan to keep spirits up throughout this "losing streak" (we use that joke once per session, relax).
 
#5 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for Untouchaballs this week.  Burr rises one spot in the Rankings with a few losses by our next guy...
 
#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week:  Lost to Losing Streak 59-36, lost to Sticky Bandits 37-28 (Frodo Swaggins), lost to Come From Behind 48-19 (BAADies)
Frodo and BAADies are a combined 2-6 with a -122 point differential.  Not the start Garrett was hoping for, but it doesn't make him NOT a top quarterback in this League.  With respect to the Godfather as the only REAL source of Championship odds, we would guess two weeks into the season that Frodo is maybe a 200-1 favorite to win D1 (they won't get many better chances to win than a short-handed Sticky Bandits this season) and BAADies maybe a 6-1 favorite to win D5 (they can do it, but they probably need all their top girls present).
 
#7 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week:  Beat Mavericks 45-38, beat Practice Squad 19-6
How do you win one game 45-38 and then the other 19-6?  Seems almost impossible you'd be so good offensively and so bad defensively one game, and then completely swap talents the next game.  Whatever happened, Can't Touch This are 3-0 and in first place in D2 their first session after moving up a division.  Ryan's arm is clearly no secret at this point, but word is getting out that his girls can really play also.
 
#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for Scared Hitless this week.  Remember when they beat All We Do is Quinn for a championship in overtime???
 
#9 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week:  Beat The Malones 43-33, beat Keller Whales 37-31
The Wanderers were one play away from beating Can't Touch This in the D3 Finals last Spring.  Would they be matching CTT's success in D2 right now?  Who knows.  But they're undefeated in D3 right now after winning their first two games of the session, and they're probably heavy favorites to win it all... depending how good The Family turns out to be.
 
#10 Travis Cleavenger - Cle-Avengers Assemble
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for Cle-Avengers Assemble this week.  How many D2 titles has Travis won over the years?  DILFs and No Punt Intended, is that all?
 
 
Fancy Statistics Section
Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)
 
 
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  
 
What's YOUR ranking?
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