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THE RANT: WEEK 5



"Sit down...BE HUMBLE!!" - Kendrick Lamar

Citizens of the Topper Sports League - do you see the above image? This...is the agony of defeat. A picture of a broken man. He is at this moment reexamining life decisions. He sits alone in his sorrow, knowing that he done f**ked up, A-ARON. Running his mouth to any and all that could hear of what he and his teammates would do to their opponent...only to be curbed stomped by said opponent in the most disheartening of fashion. 

He should contemplate this...on The Tree of Woe...

You talk that yang, and you must face the music. We've all lost games, and many (myself included) have lost games after talking smack. But the level of smack coming from En Fuego about their matchup this past Saturday with Over Compensators was playoff-level, and if you're gonna bump your gums like that - people are gonna notice. and boy, did I notice. I noticed Crystal for OC doing whatever she wanted to En Fuego (I heard she got a pick, too?). I saw EF beginning to melt down under pressure. I saw the smirks and muffled laughs of OC as they must have surely been thinking "THESE guys?? THESE guys thought they could hang with US??" And I saw what ultimately wound up as a 58-25 obliteration. 

We all lose. But when you get your sh** pushed in that bad - methinks a modicum of humility may be in store going forward. We all feel good when we're winning - but on any given Saturday, the chips may fall in favor of someone else. You gotta keep a realistic view of yourselves - anyone can get it on any day. We'll see how they recover. Is this a galvanizing moment that puts this team on the path to a title? Or will this be the moment we say THIS is when the cracks began to show? Time will tell.

Meanwhile - Larry keeps putting up Matty Ice-like numbers. Congrats to the victors! And speaking of Matty Ice...

You guys realize dude is 9-0 combined this season between his two teams, averaging over 40 points per game? Look, I get it. Some of you are sick of Matty being Matty. But it's gonna be hella hard to not give this dude MVP if he continues this ish. A&A won our doubleheader (I didn't play that well - I was sick Saturday unbeknownst to most), and then Matty's Angels won a big matchup against Mountain Dew Me (one of my FAVORITE new teams) behind a big effort from Margo Jablonski. I can't even say that what she did was "amazing" - as I watched her get 3 Ints and throw for 2 TDs to her sister (amongst the MANY things she did), all I could say was "Margo gonna Margo." Like - she's been doing that ish for years. It's funny that we're at that time in generational crossover in the TSL where there are people who don't know how good Margo was for years. She took time off to become a mother - but that's still Margo. She will drink your milkshake! She will drink it UP!! 

There were a lot of good games, and I'll leave it to the other articles to chronicle what went down. But it was a good day, and things ran smoothly even without Topper. I personally was ecstatic to see DJ Jim out there, and he was playing a ton of great music. Must've been weird for those of you accustomed to playing the same 30 songs for 8 hours, but he was doing this weird thing called "deejaying" where you play current hot tracks across multiple genres, and some classic material mixed in as well. Jim is a GREAT DJ, and word is he'll be back this week as well. Can't wait. 

My favorite thing though is the Roguecast he's doing with Joey Batts (that's my name for it, and I'll only be calling it that or WCW Nitro). The cold war for the TSL eardrums between those guys and Joe K's "official" TSL podcast is the best development we've had in over year. We all win, cuz we get TWO podcasts to check out within a week's time! It's only been a short time - but I kinda favor the pace of the Roguecast. The TSL podcast has it's format, and maybe it's just a bit stale to me. I like it, don't get me wrong. But Joey Batts is like Kool-Aid Man bursting through your wall every week! True, that can get old real fast - but for now, I've been THOROUGHLY entertained. 

"Don't tell a lie on me - I won't tell the truth on you..." - Kendrick Lamar

A few people have tried to "joke" about what I've been doing for A&A. Problem is, they themselves haven't watched. Outside of this week, where I admittedly played lethargic - I've been holding my own. I average about a TD or two a game, and I sneak in my extra points. Don't worry about what I'm doing, kiddies - I'm just over here being undefeated and ish. What are YOU doing??

Blind item #1: Most weeks, you read about me bigging up my favorite on-the-field twins, The Peters Twins. But THIS week, even though All We Do Is Qwinn wasn't there (except for Rawdog - THANKS, Rawdog!) - they came up. Well, one of them did. Apparently Casey has been noticed. Now it ain't my business to tell, so you ain't hear this from me - but besides being a really good player and cool woman, Casey has caught the attention of an admirer. I'm no snitch, and I have no idea what Casey's status is - but let's just say there's a Charlie Brown looking for his own Little Redheaded Girl, perhaps...

"Why you babysittin' only two or three shots?
I'mma show you how to turn it up a notch
First you get a swimming pool full of liquor, then you diiiiiiiive in it
Pool full of liquor, then you diiiiiiiive in it..." - K.Dot 

Blind item #2: Okay, so that last one wasn't so blind. But THIS one is. People - be aware of yourself at all times. Many of you aren't as slick or subtle as you think you are. So if you dip in the woods for a little bit...someone probably saw you. I'll leave it right there with no further details. The person(s) who need to saw it know who they are...

Serious business for a second. People - please park in our lot near the bar and fields. DO NOT park in the little cul-de-sac by field 5. Those neighbors over there do not like us parking there, and have made it known in the past and caused headaches for our league. Thanks. 

Also - PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL OF OTHER PEOPLE'S PROPERTY. Specifically - news came to me and Topper that a player's car was dinged by another car that was parked next to it. The offender didn't ask anyone who owned the car, didn't leave a note - nothing. So the person had to come to their car with damage left to the door of their vehicle from someone's carelessness. NOT COOL. If you are the person in question who dinged someone's car, you can reach out to us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. so we can put you in touch with the person whose car you damaged and you can make things right. This is not an issue we should be having to worry about, folks. Us old timers used to leave out of the bar at midnight barely able to see after drinking all day, and we managed not to damage our fellow players cars. C'mon. 

Thank you to those of you who have gone out of your way to be more respectful in your dealings with the refs, and who have gone as far as to even compliment them. It's good to hear the positive instead of the complaining side of things. The refs are human, and they try hard, and they've been much tighter and smoother the past couple of weeks. It's hand-in-hand relationship, so we need everyone to work together to keep our league running smoothly. 

Man, I WISH I could get y'all as upset as The Godfather and QB Rankings articles got y'all last week! I'll admit, I'm a little jealous - I almost wrote this with the intent of starting ish to rile folks up. But I stayed true to what I do - I only write what's on my mind, whether that be something to upset folks or not. I will say this - after I saw the QB rankings? I agreed with 'em. 100%. 

Here's my midseason all underrated team:

QBs: Ryan, TMA; Joe Miano, Jabronies; B, We Back

Male players: Josh, Frodo Swaggins; Joe Z, A&A; Travis, DILFs; literally every dude on Over Compensators
 
Female players: Katie Swanson, The Replacements; Marissa Thompson, Peachy Platoon; Jess Cunningham, Slytherin In That End Zone; Misty, Public Enemy

 

Before y'all get up in arms - this is MY opinion of people who don't get mentioned in the "best" discussion or "good" level of player. Sure, a lot of you may see Travis' name pop up, for example - but how many times are you saying he's a complete, good player? Not often. To me, that qualifies him as underrated - as well as the other I listed. and you may be wondering why is B on this list, and he hasn't played in our league in a few seasons? B has won championships in rec football. I've been on a team where he was our QB and we lost a championship in overtime to Bobby (Eyes Downtown). Many of y'all haven't seen him play to know he's a good QB, and maybe he'll come out of mothballs and NOT be good. But I doubt it. Sun can still sling the rock. 

No one guessed correctly who my favorite active male and female players are in the league, by the way. And I'm not telling. 

Anybody remember the "King Of The Asses"? It was this dude who came for only one session to watch teams play. He dubbed himself KOTA and would walk around all day talking about which women had the best asses in the league. Lenny thought this dude was a hoot (and honestly, he was). Sadly, he was only around one session. If I knew how to bring him back, I would. He was instant comedy. The best part was watching women get competitive over how great their ass was/wasn't perceived by him...

Hey - please don't let me catch up sneaking and bending rules. This past Saturday, a number of "emergency player options" came up. Several teams can confirm that I bent the rules to assist them. As I've stated in the past - Topper and I are NOT hard line jerks. We enforce the rules, but tend to be accommodating to respectful teams every now and then. It's better to ask and get "no" then sneak and get suspended. Trust me. 

Topper won't be at the fields this week, so any questions on Saturday, please see me. I don't have a game scheduled to play, so I'll only be playing if a team needs a sub. But I'll be there all day handling things and making sure we're running smoothly as normal. Come say hi - don't be shy. You'll see - I'll be the one over in the cut. 


"I'm standing on a field full of land mines
Doing the moonwalk, hoping I blow up in time..." - K.Dot


 
- Rameer AKA THE BUILD
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