PLAYOFF SATURDAY THOUGHTS AND PREDICTIONS

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 19 June 2026 20:20

Published: Friday, 19 June 2026 20:20

Written by Topper

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, after eight long, mostly rain-soaked weeks, we’ve finally arrived at the reason you’re all here: The Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. After months and months of team building, convincing someone to leave their team for yours because they’re the “missing piece” that your squad has been searching for, practicing, begging for your team fees, finding subs, bothering Jeff Krol/Garrett/Brent with SOMETHING, reading articles, listening to the podcast, oh, and playing football that didn’t get rained out (and some games that should’ve been) this Saturday begins the two week journey that all of that other stuff was meant for. 

 

On Saturday, June 20th in the Year of Our Lord 2026, 45 of the TSL’s 54 teams will go to war for the seven championships that will be earned over the next two weeks. Yes, I said 7, you’re forgetting Breakfast Club. Of the teams that will not be playing this week, six of them have bye weeks straight to Championship Saturday (Legends, Can’t Touch This, Jabronies, Frodo Swaggins, TMA, and Intentional Clowning), 2 of them already lost in Breakfast Club because those playoffs started last weekend (Steph Infection, Megoonsta’s), and one team already forfeit because some time during the season they collectively realized that they’re not very good at football at all, and they’re better off doing something more their speed like scrapbooking (SBG). Not everyone is cut out for the world of Social Co-Ed Touch Football. It happens. 

 

Yes, Playoff Saturday is here, and with it comes one of the absolute best days of the year in sports. There will be blowouts, there will be upsets nobody saw coming, there might even be overtime games. There will be teams absolutely shocked they aren’t playing on Championship Saturday. There will be excuses. There will be blood. Teams that looked downtrodden all season will finally put it all together when it matters. Teams that looked unbeatable all season will trip on their faces wondering what went wrong. It is much more rare for Playoff Saturday to have all of the top seeds advance than it is to have chaos. There will be a 6th or 7th seeded team (OR EVEN LOWER) playing next week, most likely. 

 

The only thing we truly don’t know is who the Social Co-Ed Touch Football Gods will be smiling on, and whose dreams they will choose to crush. And that’s the fun of it all, of course. Nothing is more fun for me than sitting in my rocking chair on my deck at my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa as the texts start to roll in. “SO AND SO JUST UPSET WHATSTHEIRFACES!”, “Have I got a story for you!”, “B’S BROTHER BE PRAISED!!, and so on. Every hour of Playoff Saturday will have its own twists and turns as The Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality unfolds in front of your very eyes. May the odds be ever in your favor. 

(The following championship odds and simulations were run by B's Brother in Madden '26 for us, 10,000 times. All rankings are based on the division, except, of course, for the super secret Topper TSL Ranking system only he knows about.)

 

D1:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Legends — 2-1
The Malones — 3-1

A STEP BEHIND:
Sticky Bandits — 6-1
Freeballers — 12-1
Eyes Downtown — 18-1

PRETENDERS:
What a Dump — 40-1
Mavericks — 50-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Legends — 4,642
The Malones — 4,098
Sticky Bandits — 975
Freeballers — 219
Eyes Downtown — 58
Mavericks — 7
What a Dump — 1

THE STORY: The Legends did what the Legends always do, running the table at 8-0 and reminding everyone why they're the gold standard. But the real story of D1 was the Malones' final month, as they flipped a switch and started torching everyone in sight, hanging 50, 61, and 76 in their last three games to potentially set up the title clash everyone's been waiting for. Sticky Bandits hung tough all year and stayed in the 2-seed mix until the final whistle. Eyes Downtown will feel like the one that got away, pulling off the upset of the Malones in Week 7 before fading, and the Freeballers had their moments. What a Dump finally found a win after a long season in the wilderness, and the Mavericks, despite an 0-fer, played one of the hardest schedules in the division and were closer than the record shows.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

 

The Malones tore through the season, leaving an absolute path of destruction in their wake. They’re the newest shiny play thing to pop up to attempt to defeat the Legends, but they have to get there first. Nothing is guaranteed, and now they get a Mavericks team in the first round of the playoffs that arguably have nothing to lose, which makes them dangerous. It can be argued that the Mavs deserved a better fate than an 0-8 season, but sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. What matters the most now is that everyone is 0-0, and let’s not forget that the Mavs have had The Malones number in the past. This won’t be easy for The Malones, and if they look past the Mavs, they might not even be playing next weekend. This feels as good a time as any to remind the TSL that the Mavs were left for dead as a #7 seed last season, and ended up pulling off quite the dramatic OT win to move on to Championship Saturday. There’s a reason they’re in D1.  THE MALONES BY 7

 

 

It was simply a lost season for What A Dump, as roster/attendance issues surely caused some problems for them. The talent is there, but they seem unable to really get it together. Their prize? A 1-7 season that sees them as heavy underdogs to a Sticky Bandits team that had a blip or two along the way this season, but still should be taken seriously as a title contender, even if they haven’t been as flashy as the Legends or Malones. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

Now we’re talking. While the other two D1 playoff games leave a lot to be desired in terms of a close matchup, the 4v5 matchup here does not disappoint at all. The story lines are everywhere here: The Freeballers, perennial doormats of D1, finally get a QB in Buddy Lee after cycling through more quarterbacks than the Cleveland Browns. In one season, Buddy has made the Freeballers less of a D1 joke than they ever have been, and if you squint hard enough, you can see a path that leads them to a D1 title. They take on Eyes Downtown, the former giants of D1, who have rebuilt the roster in hopes of restoring former glory. However, there are many questions floating around the league about them like if they’re overrated, or if Bobby is even the best QB on the roster for the job anymore with Bridget’s emergence. It’s amazing to think that one of these franchises won’t be playing on Championship Saturday. At the end of the day though, even if you think FB have the advantage at QB here, they don’t have it anywhere else. Experience wins out. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 2

 

D2:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Can't Touch This — 2-1
Jabronies — 5-1
Frodo Swaggins — 7-1

PRETENDERS:
D-Generation XYZ — 20-1
Buffalo Vice — 30-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Can't Touch This — 7,423
Jabronies — 1,494
Frodo Swaggins — 952
D-Generation XYZ — 97
Buffalo Vice — 34

THE STORY: Can't Touch This went wire to wire as the class of the division, finishing 7-0-1 and never tasting a loss all season. The Jabronies were the steady second fiddle, racking up wins and locking down a bye, while Frodo Swaggins spent the year as the league's resident wild card where they’re capable of dropping 60 one week and surviving a one-point thriller the next, finishing strong enough to grab the 3 seed they essentially put on the line last week for no reason other than fun. That Garrett, what a guy. The bottom of the division belonged to Buffalo Vice and D-Generation XYZ, who battled injuries and tough luck all year as they settled in. The two will settle it head-to-head on Playoff Saturday for the right to take a crack at the juggernaut. Usually, that’s a pretty bad reward, but given the playoff history of CTT, it might be a pass to the finals.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

This 4v5 matchup might not have the pedigree that the D1 battle does, but we’ve got two teams here that will absolutely have a doozy between the two of them. Neither team had the season they hoped for, but they’re also in a division with some crazy talent, where arguably the other 3 teams should be playing in D1. They’ve split the season series, and they’re quite evenly matched. Vice has the QB nod, and it’s incredibly rare for me to say this to a team with Katie Keller on it, but they have the upperhand with girls too. This one is going to come down to defense, and DXYZ has the advantage here. D-GENERATION XYZ BY 6.

D3:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
ISH — 2-1
Bullet Club — 4-1
BQI — 6-1

WOULDN'T BE SHOCKING:
Let's Get Reccked — 10-1
Grey Hair - Don't Care — 14-1
Cunning Stunts — 20-1

WANDERERS:
Wanderers — 30-1

PRACTICE SQUAD:
Practice Squad — 60-1

PRETENDERS:
Two Tuddies — 80-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
ISH — 4,323
Bullet Club — 3,301
BQI — 1,362
Let's Get Reccked — 498
Grey Hair - Don't Care — 250
Cunning Stunts — 148
Wanderers — 104
Practice Squad — 12
Two Tuddies — 2

THE STORY: ISH took the top seed with a 7-0-1 campaign, but D3 was a knife fight at the top all year. Bullet Club went 6-2 with a monster point differential and has every right to feel like a co-favorite, while BQI grabbed the 2-seed on the strength of a head-to-head win over Bullet Club and a stingy defense. The middle of this division was a blender as Grey Hair, Let's Get Reccked, and Cunning Stunts all took turns looking dangerous, with the Stunts' two ties hinting at a team tougher than its seed. And then there were the Wanderers, the season's great heartbreak story: five straight one-score losses before finally breaking through with a 13-point win in Week 8 to send themselves into the playoffs on a high note. Practice Squad and Two Tuddies fought to the end in a brutal division, as they struggled to get into a rhythm with newer rosters, and there were some injury issues as well.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

ROUND ONE

 

Back in April, both of these teams had visions of champagne dreams and caviar wishes as they could see themselves waltzing away with a D3 championship. Back in May, they could only hope to maybe pick up a win to turn the season around. And now in June, the fastest either of them have run all year is to the bus to get out of this nightmare season. The Tud Buds started off great, beating the Wanderers (before we realized they were a husk of their former selves) and they looked to be taking D3 by storm as they did in D4. They haven’t won since, albeit being close a few times. The Squad just couldn’t get on the same page this season, and their only win was because Jeremy Burr dusted off the ol’ golden arm and heroically stepped in for B for a game, against the Tuddies of course. So what happens here? The Tuddies sound defeated, tripping on excuses. Practice Squad might be blackmailing Kenny to play one more game. But let’s face it, this game goes through one thing and one thing only: 

 

Playoff B. 

 

The man has done it time and time again. He’s probably been locked in since Sunday. If you don’t think he’s internally furious that the Squad’s only win this season was without him, you’ve got another thing coming. Playoff B is the 2nd best Jets QB of all time without playing a single down. He will find a way and he will will this team to victory here. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 14

 

ROUND 2:

Playoff B’s gift for wiping out the Tud Buds? ISH. No matter the name, the maroon and gold have been a top D3 team and this season was no different. They have the division’s best offense and 2nd best defense. Andrew Kicak might pretend to be a villain but he’s the first one to tout his lesser known players and their talents. Buddy Lee is a D1 QB of the Year contender, so of course he’s dunking on D3. Everyone knows their role and they’re playing as a team. They’re a well oiled machine, and they give off the vibes that they’re going to bring home the D3 title this season, which of course probably means they won’t, but they’ll be a hell of a tough out. ISH BY 17

 

BQI had a pretty seamless transition from D5 to D3 this season, ending up a Top 10 TSL team thanks to a division best defense, growth from Bridget in the QB position, Bobby offering his wisdom, and Jon Tirado creating that family-like atmosphere that gets people playing for each other. Now they get the Wanderers, coming off of the worst season in Wanderers history, and yet they still remain scary. Frank (even with all of his “quirks”) is still a brilliant QB, and Sal is still a top player in the division. If they get hot? Who knows what could happen. They only lost by 6 to BQI this season, and they actually scored the second most points that BQI has allowed all year. If I’m the Wanderers, I have to be feeling pretty good here. They’re going to scare BQI. If the Wanderers can make an early play or two, look out. WANDERERS BY 2

 

The D3 matchups just keep getting better and better. Bullet Club finds themselves in the same position they’re usually in: Top 3 in the standings with a weird loss or two, title contender, but not the top contender. Their only two losses have come against the two teams ahead of them in the standings: ISH and BQI. They score a good amount of points and they play good defense. They handled the Stunts pretty well a couple of weeks ago. And none of that matters now. The Stunts are superstars, and a good chunk of them won’t have to worry about any other games this weekend as the Legends have a bye. There is a pretty clear path to a Stunts win, especially if Bullet Club underestimates them after that win this season. If that happens, someone better protect the garbage cans. I don’t think it will though. BULLET CLUB BY 9

 

These two teams match up well with similar stats, but they couldn’t be more opposite otherwise. LGR is incredibly talented, but they just give off the vibe that they don’t really care enough and they never seem locked in. Grey Hair Don’t Care, meanwhile, feels like they’re slightly less talented overall, BUT they care big time. I’d go straight to the argument that GHDC has the better QB in Dave Eickhoff (And the QB Power Rankings agree! Check them out!) but LGR also dominated the Week 4 matchup. I think if you ran this game alone 10,000 times you’d end up at 5,000-5,000. I expect LGR to make one more big play on defense to walk out with a win, and if we end up having an overtime game, this feels like it. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 2

 

D4:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Puckett — 2-1
Mike's Detailing — 2-1
Coochie Monsters — 4-1

NEEDS HELP:
Tater Tots — 8-1
PowerPuff Girls — 12-1
Not So Sticky — 15-1
Balls Deep — 24-1

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH DARRYL:
Cobblestone — 30-1

PRETENDERS:
Flying Balls — 50-1
Show Me Your TDs — 100-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Puckett — 3,943
Mike's Detailing — 3,792
Tater Tots — 1,042
PowerPuff Girls — 563
Coochie Monsters — 492
Not So Sticky — 118
Balls Deep — 26
Cobblestone — 20
Show Me Your TDs — 2
Flying Balls — 2

THE STORY: The deepest division in the league produced the best three-team race of the season. Mike's Detailing claimed the top seed with their Week 7 win, becoming the only team to beat Puckett this season (so far). Puckett answered the only way they know how, blanking the next opponent and finishing with the best point differential in the entire league. Coochie Monsters were right in the thick of it but lost to both Mike’s and Puckett, and the Tater Tots were the team nobody wanted to see coming almost scoring at will. From the PowerPuff Girls and NSS down through a gritty Cobblestone and a Flying Balls team that found its first win late, this division had no easy nights.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

ROUND ONE

 

A good ol’ fashioned Balls battle to get D4 started off right. Balls Deep didn’t have a fantastic start to their foray into D4, but they definitely proved they belong a bit more than their Balls counterparts did after leaping up from D6. Balls Deep finished 3-5, only beating the other Round One squads, but you just know they learned a lot from this season and should be improved in the fall. Flying Balls might’ve been the “season from hell” team for Spring 2026 after flying onto the TSL scene a season ago. They’ve had a heck of a trying season, but what better way to salvage it than with a playoff win? It’s a nice thought anyway. BALLS DEEP BY 10

 

Cobblestone is in the middle of another trying season where Darryl Carr QB Superstar continues to be let down by his “washed up charity projects” like John Langley and Garrett Beesing. However, Cobblestone DID just beat SMYTDs a week ago rather easily, and they still had the 2nd hardest schedule in D4, which means that perhaps they’re a sleeping giant of sorts. SMYTDs did NOT have a great go of it all to get started, but things got slightly better as the season went on. It wasn’t perfect, no, but they’re officially the greatest Show Me Your TDs team of all time! Anyway, COBBLESTONE BY 10

 

ROUND TWO

 

In Week 5 of this season, Cobblestone gave us the most confusing and “How The Hell Did That Happen?” moment of the year when they shut out Mike’s Detailing 14-0. That’s not a typo, Jeff Krol has promised me that this actually happened. While I’m sure the weather had something to do with it, it still boggles the human mind. There’s an argument to be had that if they win this game, it’ll be the biggest upset in TSL history, especially because they already won, so MD is already looking for revenge, or at the very least won’t take them lightly. Mike’s Detailing (tell them The Godfather sent you for 10% off!) has been nothing short of terrific besides that Cobblestone game they were in a coma for. The TSL is a better place when Darryl plays on Championship Saturday with a shot at the title. It’s not going to be a better place this year. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 17

 

 

Puckett had one slip up in an amazing season when they lost to Mike’s Detailing a few weeks ago. They smothered teams on defense, and put up a lot of points too. They just beat Balls Deep last weekend rather easily. They’re arguably pound for pound the best team in the division. Balls Deep is going to give them a better game than they did last week, but still fall short of the goal. PUCKETT BY 11

 

For those of you looking for the best game of the day, this might be it. These two teams had a 37-36 thriller a month ago, and there’s nothing that suggests that we couldn’t see that again here. This game features two of the top 3 offenses in the division, so we’re in for a treat. The Tots have scored oodles of points, and they’ve done so while being saddled with the toughest schedule in D4. Meanwhile the Coochie Monsters have been top notch on both sides of the ball, only losing by 1 to Mike’s Detailing and 3 to Puckett. They’re a battle tested, smart group, and to be honest I think they’re getting a little lost in the shuffle, which is maybe what they want to be. It’s a shame one of these teams have to lose this week. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 1

 

PowerPuff Girls vs Not So Sticky. What a fantastic Playoff Saturday matchup! You’d be hard pressed to find two more evenly matched teams. They even tied in the only game they’ve played this year! The PPG might not be the absolute murderers they can be when they’re at full strength this season, but this iteration has more than held their own. Not So Sticky has played their game all year, like they always do. Low scoring games where they squeak out a couple of wins plus random unforeseen blowout wins and losses too. They’re always a lot of fun to watch, and this game won’t be any different. I’ve gone back and forth on this one for a while now. NOT SO STICKY BY 3

 

D5:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Birds of War — 2-1
Blue Ballers — 3-1
Blitzkrieg — 5-1

OUTSIDE CHANCE:
Call the Doctor — 8-1

PRETENDERS:
Come from Behind — 20-1
Wet Bandits — 30-1
716ers — 40-1
Mo' Chicken — 50-1
Sausage McMuffins — 60-1
Pit Harade — 75-1
SBG — ZERO SHOT

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Birds of War — 5,802
Blue Ballers — 2,998
Call the Doctor — 616
Blitzkrieg — 434
Come from Behind — 86
Wet Bandits — 21
716ers — 14
Sausage McMuffins — 12
Mo' Chicken — 11
Pit Harade — 6
SBG — 0

THE STORY: The biggest division in the league saved its best story for last. Blitzkrieg and Call the Doctor both finished 7-1 and grabbed the top two seeds with rock-solid seasons, but the team everyone's talking about heading into the playoffs is the Birds of War. After a slow-ish start, the Birds caught fire and never cooled down, ripping off 58, 48, 42, and a 36-point shutout of Blitzkrieg to close the year as the hottest team in the entire league. The Blue Ballers and their league-best offense looked unstoppable for stretches before a brutal Week 7, including a shocking loss to Mo' Chicken, who authored the upset of the season. From the middle tier down, D5 was a survival contest, with the 716ers backing into a seed and a slew of teams scrapping through a gauntlet schedule.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

ROUND ONE

 

Mo’ Chicken has had quite the year, and after some rainouts, and some forfeits, they might be a little bit overrated here as we enter the playoffs. It isn’t completely fair to them as they can only play the schedule they’re given, so you’d have to assume they’ll be looking to prove themselves as “the real deal” this week. They get a Pit Harade team who has yet to win a game but also has a point differential better as a 10 seed than the 7 seed they’re playing. Also PH had a very tough schedule which can only help them in this game. They did have close losses against Birds of War and the Wet Bandits, and perhaps they should have a win or two. PIT HARADE BY 8

 

Here we have the rare “First meeting of the season” is in the playoffs matchup. The Wet Bandits came into the league as fresh faced newcomers and proceeded to rattle off a few wins out of the gate. The rest of the year had it’s ups and downs, as evidenced by the fact that they’re playing in the Round One matchup. They also boast a pretty weak offense, having relied on defense to win some games. The McMuffins have been all over the place in a down year for the franchise, and while their offense is slightly better than the Bandits, their defense is kind of “Brutal”. I expect a close matchup until one team pulls away late. WET BANDITS BY 7

 

ROUND TWO

 

The Wet Bandits reward for winning the 8/9 matchup? Blitzkrieg, which up until a week ago was more fear inspiring before the Birds of War came to town. BK still handled the Bandits fairly easily in their own matchup in Week 6, as their top ranked defense held the Bandits to just two measly TDs as they cruised to a win. Blitzkrieg may have been shook last week, but not enough to fall here. BLITZKRIEG BY 19

 

Call The Doctor absolutely crushed it in their first season in D5, going 7-1, having a top 2 defense, and a top 4 offense. Even with allegedly having some brand new players from the start, Eickhoff has really rounded his crew into form as the Playoffs arrive. They are indeed a bit of a dark horse to win this title, but they’re still in the picture. The ride for Pit Harade more than likely ends here. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 13

 

Whatever happened to the Birds of War in Week 4 to lose to CFB has been more than adjusted for it seems. BOW is scoring 40 a game while allowing less than 20 on defense, and are arguably the hottest team not just in D5, but in the entire TSL. Now they get a chance to get a win back over CFB? Look out. Come From Behind, of course, has been here before. They’ve played and beaten hotter, better teams than BOW before. If they just go out and play the same game some of them have been playing since the late 1960’s, they’ll be just fine. And if they don’t? They’ll still be at the bar Championship Saturday game or not. BIRDS OF WAR BY 18

 

The Blue Ballers were on pace to set the modern day scoring record for the TSL, and then the calendar turned to June, and they lost 2 games and forfeit another. Just like that, they’re the 4 seed and people are sending emails wondering whether or not to send flowers. I’m choosing to believe the first 5 games were more of the norm than the last three. There’s a pretty clear line of demarcation in this division, and it’s right here. The 716ers had a really good first season to build on. They’re in the middle of the pack on both sides of the ball, and they hung tough with Blitzkrieg and Call The Doctor. It’s a very, very good season to build off of. BLUE BALLERS BY 12

 

D6:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
TMA — 2-1
Intentional Clowning — 4-1

WELL, MAYBE:
Irish Giants — 5-1
Select — 8-1

PRETENDERS:
Raw Milkers — 15-1
Sticky Laces — 40-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
TMA — 4,631
Intentional Clowning — 2,148
Irish Giants — 1,735
Select — 955
Raw Milkers — 505
Sticky Laces — 26

THE STORY: Division 6 spent most of the season looking like Intentional Clowning's to lose — until the final stretch flipped it on its head. TMA saved their best for last, capped by a 34-6 demolition of Intentional Clowning in Week 7 that vaulted them to the 1-seed and the bye. IC still claimed the 2-seed and a bye of their own, but the Irish Giants were the story underneath, knocking off IC to cost them the top spot and announcing themselves as the team nobody wants to draw. Select and Raw Milkers each had their moments in a tightly-bunched middle, with Select's late shutout of the Milkers a season highlight. Sticky Laces battled through a tough year but punched their playoff ticket like everyone else — because in this league, everybody gets a shot at immortality.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

 

The Sticky Laces started off the season 2-2 with two one point losses. At 4-0 they’re the talk of the town. However, we would’ve spent the weeks after that wondering what went wrong. The Laces forgot how to score and how to play defense and they came crashing down to Earth. Meanwhile the Irish Giants remained incredibly consistent. They’re in just about every game, they beat Intentional Clowning, barely lost to them, and hung with TMA. They’re arguably as good of a shot to win it all as anyone else. This should be easy for them, provided they don’t play like they’ve already won the game. IRISH GIANTS BY 10

Select pulled off the rare “scored exactly as many points as we allowed in the the season” move which was pretty cool. Their two games with the Milkers tells the story of their season. Close but no cigar in the beginning of the year, but really coming on at the end of it. The Milkers have had some lopsided scores and continue to be inconsistent overall. That means that trying to gauge what they’re going to do is damn near impossible. But you know what you’re getting with Select. SELECT BY 3

GF vs GPT

 

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 18-10

The Godfather: 17-8-3

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 23-5

The Godfather: 24-4

 

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 108-74-5

The Godfather: 99-80-8

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 130-50-7

The Godfather: 124-56-7

 

THE TSC’S PICKS:

D1

#4 FREEBALLERS VS #5 EYES DOWNTOWN (+4) - FREEBALLERS BY 3

#2 THE MALONES VS #7 MAVERICKS (+17) - THE MALONES BY 22

#3 STICKY BANDITS VS #6 WHAT A DUMP (+18) - STICKY BANDITS BY 24

 

D2

#4 BUFFALO VICE VS #5 D-GENERATION XYZ (+3) - BUFFALO VICE BY 4

 

D3

Round One:

#8 PRACTICE SQUAD VS #9 TWO TUDDIES (+4) - PRACTICE SQUAD BY 6

Round Two:

#1 ISH VS #8 PRACTICE SQUAD (+14) - ISH BY 19

#2 BQI VS #7 WANDERERS (+10) - BQI BY 8

#3 BULLET CLUB VS #6 CUNNING STUNTS (+5) - BULLET CLUB BY 6

#4 GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE VS #5 LET'S GET RECCKED (-3) - LET'S GET RECCKED BY 2

 

D4

Round One:

#7 BALLS DEEP VS #10 FLYING BALLS (+6) - BALLS DEEP BY 9

#8 COBBLESTONE VS #9 SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+9) - COBBLESTONE BY 13

Round Two:

#1 MIKE'S DETAILING VS #8 COBBLESTONE (+9) - MIKE'S DETAILING BY 7

#2 PUCKETT VS #7 BALLS DEEP (+14) - PUCKETT BY 17

#3 COOCHIE MONSTERS VS #6 TATER TOTS (+3) - TATER TOTS BY 3

#4 POWERPUFF GIRLS VS #5 NOT SO STICKY (+2) - POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 1

 

D5

Round One:

#7 MO' CHICKEN VS #10 PIT HARADE (+4) - MO' CHICKEN BY 6

#8 WET BANDITS VS #9 SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+4) - WET BANDITS BY 5

Round Two:

#1 BLITZKRIEG VS #8 WET BANDITS (+7) - BLITZKRIEG BY 10

#2 CALL THE DOCTOR VS #7 MO' CHICKEN (+13) - CALL THE DOCTOR BY 15

#3 BIRDS OF WAR VS #6 COME FROM BEHIND (+15) - BIRDS OF WAR BY 21

#4 BLUE BALLERS VS #5 716ERS (+15) - BLUE BALLERS BY 19

 

D6

#3 IRISH GIANTS VS #6 STICKY LACES (+7) - IRISH GIANTS BY 10

#4 SELECT VS #5 RAW MILKERS (+2) - SELECT BY 3

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY: 

 

 

• Can you rank the #1 seeds from most vulnerable to least? Sure! That won’t cause any issues. Blitzkrieg, ISH, Mike’s Detailing, TMA, Legends, Can’t Touch This. 

 

 

 

• If you can’t choose any #1 seeds to win their divisions, who are you taking? The Malones, Frodo Swaggins, Bullet Club, Coochie Monsters, Birds of War, and Irish Giants. 

 

 

 

• Which low seed is most likely to still be playing on Championship Saturday? The 7th seeded Wanderers have the best shot at it. 

 

 

 

• Who has the most momentum coming into the playoffs in each division? That’s a fun one. I think it’s The Malones, Can’t Touch This, Bullet Club, Mike’s Detailing, Birds Of War, and TMA. 

 

 

 

• What is the one game you’d watch if you could only choose one? The answer has to be Coochie Monsters vs Tater Tots. That will be a fire fight. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

-The weather is going to be hopefully perfect for you in Buffalo, just about 70 degrees and mostly sunny, although there might be a little bit of rain too, which is poetic given how the season has gone. 

 

-Breakfast Club predictions: 

 

• On A Rampaige 36, Water Under The Bridget 34

• Total CARnage 30, Fittsmagic 27

 

 

-I know that it’s the playoffs, but DON’T BE DICKS TO THE REFS. They have been instructed to kick you out of the game if they deem you to be a nuisance. Don’t put them in that situation. 

 

-Games of the Day

10:00 - Birds Of War vs Come From Behind

11:00 - Coochie Monsters vs Tater Tots

12:00 - The Malones vs Mavericks

1:00 - Freeballers vs Eyes Downtown

2:00 - PowerPuff Girls vs Not So Sticky

3:00 - Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Let’s Get Reccked

 

-Games absolutely will start ON TIME, and maybe even early if that can somehow happen. With the threat of overtime looming and backing up certain fields throughout the day, the league needs to keep things moving smoothly. 

-All of this talk about how hot Birds of War have been, and they’re just going to end up losing to Come From Behind anyway. 

 

-The Blue Ballers are going to show us that the last two weeks were a fluke

 

-Can’t Touch This is going to look pretty good in D1 next season. They can’t blow it again, right? 

 

-SIGN UP FOR THE WINE TOURNAMENT HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1urBLH44_96Fkih8OhD4IkAFZUKmKdAs0vxERt0bC7x0/edit 

 

-Glory Fades, Chicks Dig Scars, Immortality Lasts Forever. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 7 THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 05 June 2026 16:03

Published: Friday, 05 June 2026 16:03

Written by Topper

Hits: 119

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, June 6th, in the Year of Our Lord 2026, the TSL world will yet again descend upon the Rose Garden to partake in the Greatest Social Co-Ed Touch Football League in history. While it may seem like just another week before we ramp up the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality (it’s “only” Week 7), the first weekend of June holds more significance to the TSL than any other time of the year. Why is that, you ask? 

 

It’s Lenny And Rameer Day. 

 

Well, it’s Lenny And Rameer Day (Observed). The only “Official” holiday in TSL history is June 4th, as it was named after a meeting by the TSL Supreme Court of Topper, Cookie Monster, B’s Brother, Punkin The Clown, Elmo, The Lead Singer Of the Mariachi Band, and Girl On Crack. June 4th, for those who do not know, is Lenny’s birthday. June 4th, for those who also do not know, is the day we lost Rameer. 

I understand that paragraph has a whole bunch of names that a good portion of the TSL doesn’t know. The league vets, of course, know all about each of those names. But as the league continues on and time passes, more and more TSLers appear, and they simply don’t know the lore of this place. Even from my log cabin here in Des Moines, Iowa, it irks me that there are TSLers that are going to wonder why there’s a wheel to spin, or an ice cream truck hanging out at the fields tomorrow, or whatever else the league has cooked up and they’re going to utter the words “Who are Lenny and Rameer?”. 

 

Simply put, Lenny and Rameer are the reasons you’re playing football tomorrow. 

 

Okay fine, Topper had something to do with it too. But the quick version is that the TSL was founded by Topper and Lenny. Lenny Alba was the TSL’s Commissioner For Life. Topper’s best friend and perhaps the most unique human being you’d ever come across. He was loud, boisterous, charismatic, and pretty much a cartoon character brought to life. He had the vision that football should be fun first, football second. Yes, he could be incredibly serious if you got on his bad side, but Lenny believed that everyone could be a character in the ever changing story that is the “TSL Universe”. He believed that people deserved second (and third, and fourth if they showed up in his music video idea) chances. He was a larger than life individual who made everyone he came in contact with feel special, like they were a part of something. That’s why he built his empire the way that he did: being ridiculous, getting me (and others) to write articles for the website, he took the TSL podcast and ran with it, he encouraged crazy bets on games, he did makeover videos for B’s Brother, he bought a 20 foot minion just because it popped into his head one time and you’re not going to not buy a 20 foot minion. Yes, he knew football, and yes he loved being a “consultant” for struggling teams while also helping lead Public Enemy to some of the greatest heights in Social Co-Ed Touch Football history. But he had just as much fun with the social aspect of this league, and did his best to make sure that even the worst player on the worst team in the league felt included and that they could be a character in Lenny’s world. 

 

And then there was the Yin to Lenny’s Yang, Rameer. 

 

If Lenny had a character flaw, it was that he was always going bigger and more ridiculous, mostly just to see if he could. However when you were running a Social Co-Ed Football Empire, that wasn’t always the best way to go. Topper and Lenny would have some disagreements on league matters because of this, and eventually they brought in Rameer as the “Third Man”. Rameer became the trusted deciding vote whenever Topper and Lenny couldn’t agree on important league matters such as rule changes, suspensions, which TSLers to put on the M&Ms at the banquet, where to get the next Cookie Monster costume from, which TSL female would make a better TSL Queen for Topper if they got married, what the perfect hair length is for Darryl Carr QB Superstar, and other various topics along the way. And also, they needed Rameer because both of them got sick of dealing with the referee scheduling, and more importantly the 10-200 people per Saturday that would come whine to them about how “unfair it was that a ref thought they stepped out of bounds when they super swear that they really didn’t and they lost because of that one single play and now their season and maybe career is over”. Lenny and Topper didn’t want to have to hear it, nor did they want to be mean. But Rameer did. 

Rameer was there to be the exact polar opposite of everything I said about Lenny. He had NO problem to immediately call you out on your bullshit. He didn’t really care about the “circus” aspect of the league that Lenny cultivated (Although underneath his damn near permanent scowl when it came to “Official League Nonsense”, you always got the feeling that he did like it, but he wouldn’t dare show it). Rameer was there to be “the bad guy”, and he played that role excellently. For a man who sure hated the “characters” Lenny would make, he had no problem being the “enforcer” character anyway. 

Don’t get it twisted, Rameer LOVED the TSL as much as anyone else. He just went about it in a different way. As fun as Lenny’s loud, in your face, ridiculous style existed to keep people included in that way (and to keep himself entertained, sure), Rameer sat back and observed people. Rameer had absolutely no problem walking up to a random TSLer he didn’t know and saying ‘who the hell are you?’ and introducing himself. Or he’d notice that maybe there was someone sitting by themselves at the bar, perhaps overwhelmed by “the circus”, and he’d walk over to them and talk to that person, realizing that not everyone wants to be a part of “the show”. Rameer would make you feel included by genuinely getting to know you, asking you questions about your life, telling you to play Breakfast Club and then drafting you so you met more people but you at least had ONE person you knew on the team. If you seemed “off” on a random day, he’d make sure to check in with you as soon as he felt different vibes (before ‘vibes’ was a thing people said regularly). 

Lenny and Rameer were two sides of the same coin. At the end of the day they both wanted the same things for the TSL: to create a family-like culture where everyone who steps on those fields felt included. Like they were a part of something. The paths they both took to achieve that goal simply could not have been more different. But that’s what made it work so well. Yes, there were definitely times that they wanted to kill each other, and they’d both probably scoff at hearing how alike they were at their core, but this league simply wouldn’t have been what it became if it didn’t have both of them in it. 

When Lenny unexpectedly passed away in 2019, Rameer was there to step up and do his best to assume the role of “#2” in the TSL. The loss of Lenny was absolutely massive in terms of the league. Things were adjusting well, and then it was discovered that Rameer had cancer. And the world was shutting down because of Covid at nearly the same time. Despite his fight (because there was ZERO way that man wouldn’t fight it), Rameer would pass away on June 4th, Lenny’s birthday. 

Coincidence? Yeah, sure, maybe. 

But the symbolism there does not go unnoticed by the legion of TSLers out there that were lucky enough to know two of the greatest people that ever lived. 

When you step on the field this Saturday, whether you knew them personally or not, do what they would’ve done: talk to someone new, make a new friend. And most importantly, try to take a moment to look at the world around you. People playing football, the sound of a whistle, the cheers from a great play. Just for a second, take a deep breath and whisper “thank you”. 

 

They’re listening. 

D1

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

STICKY BANDITS 40, EYES DOWNTOWN 33

 

LEGENDS 23, STICKY BANDITS 19

 

THE MALONES 61, MAVERICKS 39

 

D1 keeps getting more interesting. The Legends stayed perfect, The Malones dropped 61 and officially forced everyone to stop calling them a nice story, and Sticky Bandits split a brutal doubleheader by beating Eyes Downtown before falling just short against Legends. The Mavericks are still winless, but they are at least losing in ways that make you think they can ruin someone's day soon.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

MAVERICKS VS WHAT A DUMP (+4) - At some point the Mavericks are going to win a football game. They're 0-4, but unlike a lot of 0-4 teams, they haven't looked hopeless. They nearly came back against both the Legends and Sticky Bandits before running into a Malones offense that appears to have been assembled in a laboratory. Meanwhile, What A Dump continues to exist in a strange limbo where nobody is quite sure how good they are because they seem to play about once every presidential administration. Somebody has to get a much-needed win here, and the Mavericks finally get it done. MAVERICKS BY 6. 

 

LEGENDS VS WHAT A DUMP (+14) - WAD has only played 3 games so far this season, which gives them two weeks to get 5 games in. I’m assuming that the Mavericks game that was postponed ends up in a tie, but who knows? It’s been a season to forget so far for What A Dump, and while they technically would be able to “turn things around” if they sweep their doubleheader this week (including a fun wrinkle where they have two games left against the Legends, but they’re just going to count the results of this game twice) I’m not sure they’ve worked out whatever is ailing them just yet. LEGENDS BY 14

 

FREEBALLERS VS STICKY BANDITS (+3) - Here’s one people didn’t have on their Spring season bingo card: The Sticky Bandits are GETTING points against the Freeballers. It makes sense - The Freeballers have the better record and they won against Sticky earlier in the year, even in a monsoon. Things have been going quite well for the Freeballers this season, but they’re due for a hiccup, right? STICKY BANDITS BY 6

 

THE MALONES VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+8) - There was a time in the TSL when Eyes Downtown would easily be the favorites here against The Malones, but boy have the times changed. ED has the horses to turn things around, and historically they do. The only problem is that they’re running into a buzzsaw of epic proportions right now. THE MALONES BY 12

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS MAVERICKS (+5) - The Mavericks are THIS close to getting it together and pulling off a win, Malones massacre aside. Eyes Downtown are about as vulnerable as they’ve ever been, which is still weird to say. If there’s one thing Lenny would want, it’s a little chaos. MAVERICKS BY 2

 

D2

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

CAN'T TOUCH THIS 45, BUFFALO VICE 6

 

CAN'T TOUCH THIS 45, D-GENERATION XYZ 25

 

JABRONIES 29, FRODO SWAGGINS 25

 

Can't Touch This continues to look like the class of D2, and they did nothing last week to change that. The Jabronies survived Frodo, which matters more than it looks because Frodo is still weird enough to make every game stressful. Buffalo Vice is still searching for its first win, and DXYZ continues to look better than its record while still not getting enough actual results.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

CAN'T TOUCH THIS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+12) - Can’t Touch This couldn’t be more on cruise control at this point. That MIGHT mean Frodo can catch them sleeping a little, but to be able to get a jump on them and keep the lead is a task I don’t think they’re capable of. They DO turn some heads in D2 when they keep it close though. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

 

D-GENERATION XYZ VS BUFFALO VICE (+4) - It’s not great here, as the only win for either team here comes from the game they played against each other that DXYZ won. DXYZ struggles to score as the young Keller QB is still developing, which many people forget. There were always going to be some growing pains. They’ll see some progress from this brutal season today. D-GENERATION XYZ BY 10

 

FRODO SWAGGINS VS BUFFALO VICE (+3) - There’s not much to say here, Vice is also going through the growing pains that come with jumping up to D2, arguably before they were really ready to. They’re definitely another top tier male and another stud female to going along with All-World TSL Talent Caitlyn Mason for them to really compete. I hope that they stay in D2, and in doing so, acquire the talent needed to make them more competitive. The bones are there, they just need a few tweaks. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 9

D3

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 21, LET'S GET RECCKED 0 (FORFEIT)

 

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 22, BQI 16

 

BULLET CLUB 30, GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE 22

 

BULLET CLUB 67, TWO TUDDIES 14

ISH is still unbeaten, and beating BQI was their biggest statement yet, unless you count making LGR so terrified of them they had to forfeit. Bullet Club may have had the strongest week in the division, especially after hanging 67 on Two Tuddies. BQI is still very much alive in the title picture, Grey Hair remains annoying, and D3 somehow continues to get more confusing as the playoffs get closer.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

LET'S GET RECCKED VS WANDERERS (+6) - The Wanderers finally get to play football again after some time off, and they’re looking for their first win of the season. LGR seemed to be a team on the rise, although forfeiting doesn’t help that continue very much. The Wanderers’ little break helps them reset just before the playoffs. WANDERERS BY 1

 

BULLET CLUB VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+10) - Bullet Club gets another double header, and while they start off against a Practice Squad team that’s been struggling that doesn’t mean it’ll be a cake walk for them. Practice Squad could be catching BC at the right time as they’re coming off making the Two Tuddies look like the Three Tuddies, and could be looking ahead to the Stunts game later that day. Except historically, these two teams have this game circled on their schedule, so I don’t think that will be the case, especially on Lenny and Rameer Day. BULLET CLUB BY 7

 

BULLET CLUB VS CUNNING STUNTS (+4) - There’s a chance that right now the Stunts’ 2-0-2 record is a little misleading. One of the ties was a rainout tie against ISH. Their other three games were against the bottom three teams in the division. They tied the Wanderers, and blew out the Tuddies and Practice Squad. They haven’t quite played anyone who’s been playing well yet this season, and that may come with a little bit of a rough start to the hardest part of their schedule. BULLET CLUB BY 4

 

BQI VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+8) - One of these teams feels like they’re a bit of “smoke and mirrors” and the other one is for real. And I’m not sure which is which. This should be a close game overall, but BQI pulls it out in the end. BQI BY 4

 

BQI VS CUNNING STUNTS (+6) - BQI negates the biggest advantage the Stunts have, as they always get an 8 point TD as well. This should be a chess match of sorts, and it’ll come down to which defense makes a play first. I think it’ll be BQI. BQI BY 2

 

ISH VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+9) - ISH is rolling. Grey Hair is looking like a “pretender” in “contenders” clothing. I’m not sure anyone can beat ISH anyway. ISH BY 12

 

TWO TUDDIES VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+5) - A battle of two teams who have everything going wrong for them. Both can really use a win of any type at this point. I expect both teams to go hard for the win. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 3

 

D4

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

BALLS DEEP 34, SHOW ME YOUR TDS 16

PUCKETT 46, TATER TOTS 31

COOCHIE MONSTERS 27, NOT SO STICKY 21

POWERPUFF GIRLS 34, COBBLESTONE 18

NOT SO STICKY 33, TATER TOTS 15

POWERPUFF GIRLS 28, SHOW ME YOUR TDS 24

MIKE'S DETAILING 36, FLYING BALLS 12

SHOW ME YOUR TDS 17, FLYING BALLS 15

 

D4 was chaos again. Puckett stayed undefeated, but Tater Tots at least proved someone can score on them. Not So Sticky had a massive week by beating Coochie Monsters and Tater Tots, PowerPuff Girls quietly swept their doubleheader, and Show Me Your TDs finally got into the win column. Flying Balls, meanwhile, have officially entered emergency meeting territory.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

TATER TOTS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+11) -  So the Tots didn’t beat Puckett, but they sure did give them something to think about. Now they get SMYTDs, who finally got into the win column and have shown some improvement. They’re getting better, but I don’t think they’re on the Tots’ level just yet. TATER TOTS BY 18

 

MIKE'S DETAILING VS BALLS DEEP (+6) - Balls Deep has been rolling, but so has Mike’s Detailing. This gives us a heck of a game, and a measuring stick to see just how close to (or far off) Balls Deep is to the championship contenders. BD should give them a run, but in the end I suspect we’ll see MIKE’S DETAILING BY 9

 

NOT SO STICKY VS FLYING BALLS (+8) - Not So Sticky inserted themselves into the championship contender status after a week that showed them beating the Tots and pushing the Coochies to the limit. Meanwhile the Flying Balls are in disarray and are starting to wonder if they were too confident in jumping up to D4. They’re talented enough to figure it out. It just might be next season when they do. NOT SO STICKY BY 12

 

PUCKETT VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+4) - Here’s your potential Game of the Day between two of the best teams in the division. If anyone is going to derail Puckett, it’s going to be MD. But as of right now, I don’t think anyone can. PUCKETT BY 10

 

COBBLESTONE VS FLYING BALLS (+3) - If the Flying Balls are going to win a game, this is going to have to be it. The problem is that Cobblestone still has a TON of experience, and that goes a long way in this joint. COBBLESTONE BY 8

 

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (+7) - Another interesting test for the Coochies as they get a whole bunch flying at them in the form of the PPGs, who are starting to click a bit at the right time. A win here would shake up the division even more. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 1

 

PUCKETT VS COBBLESTONE (+14) - This might be like purposely watching a car speed through a pet shop. PUCKETT BY 20

 

D5

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

BLITZKRIEG 27, WET BANDITS 12

CALL THE DOCTOR 21, SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS 6

WET BANDITS 33, PIT HARADE 32

BLUE BALLERS 64, SBG 0

BIRDS OF WAR 58, SBG 0

COME FROM BEHIND 39, PIT HARADE 12

COME FROM BEHIND 31, MO' CHICKEN 31

BIRDS OF WAR 48, 716ERS 13

 

D5 remains the division of offensive violence. Blue Ballers scored 64, Blitzkrieg stayed unbeaten, Call the Doctor kept rolling, and Birds of War had a monster week with two huge wins. Wet Bandits continue to be impossible to explain, Come From Behind had a solid week despite the tie with Mo' Chicken, and SBG had the kind of Saturday you delete from the group chat.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

BLUE BALLERS VS MO' CHICKEN (+16) - The good news for Mo' Chicken is that they've looked more competitive lately. The bad news is that their reward for that improvement is getting the most explosive offense in the TSL. Blue Ballers have scored 52, 50, 42, 51, and 64 in their five wins, and they're starting to separate themselves as one of the league's true heavyweights. Mo' Chicken has enough offense to keep this from becoming a complete disaster, but asking them to keep pace for an entire game is another story entirely. BLUE BALLERS BY 30 

 

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS VS PIT HARADE (+2) - Old rivals meet up in this one as neither team has had a season to be proud of so far. I know that anything can happen in the playoffs, but as of right now these teams are looking like speed bumps on other teams’ road to the title. Both teams have shown signs of life recently though, so it’ll be interesting to see who wants this one more. I’ll flip a coin. PIT HARADE BY 3

 

COME FROM BEHIND VS WET BANDITS (+3) - The Wet Bandits are starting to emerge as a consistent threat each week, and now they get a team they may not match up too well against in Come From Behind. IF CFB is on, they should have no real trouble here. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

 

MO' CHICKEN VS SBG (+7) - SBG might actually stand for “Stop Bullying, Godfather!” but at this point I’m just saying it needs to stand for “Start Being Good”, because they simply are not right now. Mo’ Chicken is a bit all over the place as usual, and they were essentially SBG only a couple of seasons ago. MO’ CHICKEN BY 18

 

CALL THE DOCTOR VS 716ERS (+6) - The 716ers’ finally got beat up a bit after a good start, and it’ll be interesting to see how they respond to that. As of right now, they’re not on the same level as CTD. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 10

 

BLUE BALLERS VS BIRDS OF WAR (+9) - Hey, here's a good one. The Blue Ballers have decimated everyone they’ve played so far, and Birds of War are really starting to figure things out themselves. This is a top tier matchup. If anyone can handle the Blue Ballers, it might be BOW. But that’s still a tall order. BLUE BALLERS BY 3 AND THEY DON’T SCORE OVER 50 POINTS

 

D6

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

TMA 18, RAW MILKERS 13

 

TMA 34, STICKY LACES 14

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING 22, SELECT 8

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING 27, IRISH GIANTS 24

 

SELECT 33, STICKY LACES 15

 

D6 is now basically Intentional Clowning and TMA staring at each other from across the room. IC stayed undefeated, TMA went 2-0 and continues to get less attention than they deserve, and Select finally broke through with a win over Sticky Laces. The Irish Giants are still dangerous, but the consistency just hasn't been there.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS TMA (+5) - BIG GAME ALERT. Clowning has already beaten TMA this season back in the beginning of the season. Since then, both teams have won all of their games and have positioned themselves as the favorites to meet in the D6 championship game. This should be fun to hear about. TMA BY 1

 

RAW MILKERS VS SELECT (+3) - The bottom two teams in this division meet up in what I can only assume will be a fun game. Why? The Raw Milkers are still all over the place, so you never know what you’re going to get, which is fun and exciting. And Select just continues to improve week by week, which can only mean good things for them too. SELECT BY 8

GF vs GPT

WEEK 6

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 20-10-1

The Godfather: 15-15-1

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 24-6-1

The Godfather: 23-7-1

 

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 75-50-4

The Godfather: 67-58-4

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 88-34-7

The Godfather: 82-40-7

 

THE GPT'S PICKS

MAVERICKS VS WHAT A DUMP (+

LEGENDS VS WHAT A DUMP (+14) - LEGENDS BY 18

FREEBALLERS VS STICKY BANDITS (+3) - FREEBALLERS BY 4

THE MALONES VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+8) - THE MALONES BY 10

EYES DOWNTOWN VS MAVERICKS (+5) - EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6

CAN'T TOUCH THIS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+12) - CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 14

D-GENERATION XYZ VS BUFFALO VICE (+4) - D-GENERATION XYZ BY 6

FRODO SWAGGINS VS BUFFALO VICE (+3) - FRODO SWAGGINS BY 5

LET'S GET RECCKED VS WANDERERS (+6) - LET'S GET RECCKED BY 7

BULLET CLUB VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+10) - BULLET CLUB BY 18

BULLET CLUB VS CUNNING STUNTS (+4) - BULLET CLUB BY 3

BQI VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+8) - BQI BY 9

BQI VS CUNNING STUNTS (+6) - BQI BY 4

ISH VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+9) - ISH BY 11

TWO TUDDIES VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+5) - TWO TUDDIES BY 7

TATER TOTS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+11) - TATER TOTS BY 14

MIKE'S DETAILING VS BALLS DEEP (+6) - MIKE'S DETAILING BY 7

NOT SO STICKY VS FLYING BALLS (+8) - NOT SO STICKY BY 11

PUCKETT VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+4) - PUCKETT BY 6

COBBLESTONE VS FLYING BALLS (+3) - COBBLESTONE BY 4

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (+7) - COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 8

PUCKETT VS COBBLESTONE (+14) - PUCKETT BY 19

BLUE BALLERS VS MO' CHICKEN (+16) - BLUE BALLERS BY 21

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS VS PIT HARADE (+2) - SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 3

COME FROM BEHIND VS WET BANDITS (+3) - COME FROM BEHIND BY 4

MO' CHICKEN VS SBG (+7) - MO' CHICKEN BY 10

CALL THE DOCTOR VS 716ERS (+6) - CALL THE DOCTOR BY 8

BLUE BALLERS VS BIRDS OF WAR (+9) - BLUE BALLERS BY 12

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS TMA (+5) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 3

RAW MILKERS VS SELECT (+3) - SELECT BY 1

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

• 716ers are 3-2-1 but have faced the third-easiest schedule in D5. Call the Doctor at 1pm is their first real test against a team with a winning record and a positive differential. Do the 716ers belong in the D5 conversation? I don’t think so. At least not yet. As much as I like to point out just how much the regular season doesn’t matter, i think in D5, it really does. The gap between the “haves” and “have nots” continues to grow by the week there. 

 

 

• Intentional Clowning and TMA are 5-0 and 5-1, and they meet at 10am Saturday in what is almost certainly a D6 playoff preview. IC won the first meeting 24-10. Has TMA closed the gap, or is IC still on a different level in this division? The gap is closed I’d say. These two teams have played close games in the past, and they’re not too far off from each other, especially when both are rolling, which they are right now. Either of these two could be considered ‘favorites’ for the D6 title. 

 

 

 

• The Wanderers have scored 24.3 points per game this season. They are 0-5-1. They face Let's Get Reccked at noon on Saturday in arguably the most winnable game left on their schedule. Is this finally the week the Wanderers get off the mat? Well, I picked them to win, so yeah, I think so. It’s time for the Wanderers to get it together and make a run. Pulling out a win to get things moving in the right direction seems to be a good start to that. 

 

 

 

• What about Practice Squad? Another historically good franchise is still winless, and they have two games this week. Is this the week they finally get a win (or two)? I don’t think I’d bet on them winning both games, as Bullet Club has been playing very, very well as of late. But you know who hasn’t? The Two Tuddies. They’ve had a “season from hell” of sorts so far, and they’re ripe for the picking. No way does B drop that type of game. Right? 

 

 

 

• Can What A Dump survive two games against Legends without becoming a missing persons report? We’ve already printed their photos on the milk cartons. However, despite originally having two games against the Legends this week, that is no longer the case. The only thing that’s gone right for them this season is smartly not playing the Legends twice and just having this game count for both. Genius move. 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

• It’s Lenny and Rameer Day. Stick around after your game. Have a drink. Partake in the fun. Make a new friend. 

 

• Despite the most perfect day for football last week, this week seems to be not as great for TSL football with some Thunderstorms allegedly coming through by the end of the day. I for one will hope that Lenny and Rameer work their magic for us up there and keep the skies clear. 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 
• Water Under The Bridget 30, Steph Infection 17
• Total CARnage 27, Megoonsta’s 24
• On A Rampaige 33, Fittsmagic 31

 

• Games of the Day: 
• 10:00 - Intentional Clowning vs TMA
• 11:00 - Freeballers vs Sticky Bandits
• 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Practice Squad
• 1:00 - Mike’s Detailing vs Puckett
• 2:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Mavericks
• 3:00 - BQI vs Cunning Stunts

 

• It’s good to see Show Me Your TDs pull off the big win and to see them scoring some points. I was getting worried there. 

 

• It’s been interesting seeing The TSC learn about the league through the bowels of Topper’s laptop and what it’s been coming up with. If you haven’t read it’s transmissions yet, you can do so right here: (https://tsl716.com/index.php/the-sentinel)

 

• The TSL Podcasts have been chugging along as well, and if you’d like to be a guest on the show, feel free to ask Joe K, Krol, Dorene, Tino, or really anyone who can point you in the right direction to make that happen! 

 

• If you don’t agree with anything you see here, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and explain to me exactly why that is. I’m all ears. 

 

• If Lenny were here today, he’d have already rented a Steel Cage bounce house for Bobby vs Andrew this week. Bobby would wipe the floor with him, by the way. 

 

• There should be an ice cream truck, some TSL celebrities, a wheel to spin, and various other fun things to celebrate Lenny and Rameer. Don’t miss out and make sure to tell everyone you know about it! 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 8 THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 12 June 2026 17:27

Published: Friday, 12 June 2026 17:27

Written by Topper

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we find ourselves at the turning point that every amazing TSL season comes to. Yes, Lenny and Rameer Day was a blast, but that was where the fun ends for the TSL Spring 2026 session. Now, it’s time to officially “lock in”. This Saturday, June 13th, in the Year of Our Lord 2026 represents the final week of the TSL Regular Season. At this point, you kind of already know who you are as a football team. If you’re not sure, you’re going to classify into one of five groups. Either you’re simply polished and ready to go as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins (Legends), you’re catching fire and things are clicking at the right time as “The Race” begins (Birds of War), your early season promise is starting to crumble beneath you as you start to panic to stop the bleeding (Cunning Stunts), you very clearly can tell that this most likely isn’t your year (Raw Milkers), or you’re coming to the conclusion that maybe football just isn’t your thing and you’re looking into knitting needles to find something you’re good at (SBG). 

 

The good news is that 85% of the league finds themselves somewhere between level 2 and level 4 there. And even if you’re in the “it’s most likely not it for you” tier, there’s still a glimmer of hope. Week 8 represents the last chance for you to get it together, and perhaps find something that works. Maybe you’ve lost some close games against some good teams but haven’t gotten over the hump? Maybe you’ve had inconsistency in your roster showing up for most games because someone got hurt, your girls are unreliable, or your best player that’s supposed to be a “game changer” only changes the game in favor of your opponents because he (or she) skips most of the games?  As much as those sound like general, common excuses (and they are), they’re also true for most teams. If you find yourself relating to one of those reasons, just know that many a #6 seed has won the Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality because they fixed those issues heading into the playoffs. Something clicks with one person, your star player shows up, the team realizes how defense works, etc. I’ve seen it a million times. So don’t you fret, Dear Reader, there’s still time for you to get it together. This is just the final dress rehearsal for you to get it right. 

 

As we approach Week 8, you might be wondering “Hey Godfather, how do the playoffs work, anyway?”. Well, allow me to tell you. 

 

D1: #1 seed gets a bye for Playoff Saturday, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5 for the rest of them. 

 

D2: Top 3 seeds get a bye for Playoff Saturday, 4 and 5 seeds will play. 

 

D3: The 8th and 9th seeded teams will play, with the winner playing the #1 seed right after. 2v7, 3v6, 4v5 also play. 

 

D4: 7v10 and 8v9 will battle in the first round on Playoff Saturday. There is no reseeding here (in order to keep the games/fields on schedule and moving) so the winner of 7v10 will play the #2 seed right after, and the same goes for the 8v9 winner playing the #1 seed. 3v6 and 4v5 will also play. I’m excited for the #10 seed to pull the upset, so that the #1 seed can complain. 

 

D5: 6v11, 7v10, 8v9 all play. The winners meet the #1, #2, and #3 seeds right after. Again, in an effort to keep fields and games on time and moving, there won’t be reseeding here. 8v9 winner plays the #1 seed, 7v10 winner plays the #2 seed, and 6v11 winner plays the #3 seed. When the #3 v #11 matchup happens, again, if it's good enough for your March Madness pools, it’s good enough for Playoff Saturday. 

 

D6: Top 2 seeds get a bye, 3v6 and 4v5. Pretty standard stuff here. 

 

So there you have it, the path to Immortality for each division. Yes, some divisions are more insane than others, but that’s the foundation this league has been built on and that isn’t changing anytime soon. If you possess the ability for reading comprehension (The TSC has computed that approximately 72% of the league does not after it has read Topper and Jeff’s email history), then you’ll realize that there are some important things at stake for this week’s games. There are bye weeks available to be won, and there are also teams that can get into a better seeding so that they don’t have to play a “first round” type of “play-in” game, which in a one game playoff, anything can happen, so it’s best to not have another game that could cause you to lose your chance at Immortality with an upset. Let’s take a look at what fun Week 8 brings us…

 

D1

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

STICKY BANDITS 27, FREEBALLERS 16

EYES DOWNTOWN 31, THE MALONES 29

WHAT A DUMP 29, MAVERICKS 18

EYES DOWNTOWN 22, MAVERICKS 16

LEGENDS 33, WHAT A DUMP 6 (x2)

What a week in D1. Eyes Downtown went 2-0 and announced that everyone who forgot about them is going to pay for it, knocking off The Malones in the process. What A Dump got their first win of the season and let everyone know that they’re alive and well, until the Legends beat WAD 33-6 in a game that counts twice, which means they technically went 2-0 by playing one game, which is the most Legends thing imaginable. And the Sticky Bandits handled the Freeballers to quietly climb right back into the 2-seed conversation.

WHAT'S AT STAKE

The Legends have locked up the #1 seed and the first-round bye. Even if they lose both games Saturday, they hold the head-to-head over The Malones. The real fight is for #2: The Malones and Sticky Bandits are tied, and The Malones hold the head-to-head from their 40-39 thriller, and the Malones have two games to the Bandits' one. One Malones win locks up the 2-seed; an 0-2 Saturday plus a Sticky Nation win flips it. The Freeballers and Eyes Downtown are tied for the 4-seed, their head-to-head was the 21-21 rainout tie (rumors from the Freeballers camp was that Bobby was “ducking” them and forced the tie to happen), so it’ll come down to how the games play out this week. Points will matter. And just for kicks, the Mavericks can actually escape the 7-seed, but only by beating the Legends and the Freeballers in the same afternoon. If they pull that off, write the movie. John Stamos has already attempted to sign on to play “Jordan” just in case, but we’re worried he might be too short. 

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

THE MALONES VS WHAT A DUMP (+13) - What’s worse than playing The Malones? Playing The Malones after they lose. THE MALONES BY 20

STICKY BANDITS VS WHAT A DUMP (+10) - What’s worse than playing The Malones? Playing a team that HAS to win because you just lost to The Malones. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

THE MALONES VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+4) - There is ZERO way The Malones group chat hasn’t had the following this week: poor spelling, a deep lack of proper punctuation, and absolute revenge chatter from last week’s loss. Eyes Downtown “caught ‘em lacking” as I’ve been told people say now. Not again. Right? THE MALONES BY 8

LEGENDS VS MAVERICKS (+8) - On the one hand, Legends have everything sewn up so this game doesn’t really mean anything to them. On the other hand, they definitely like beating the Mavericks. LEGENDS BY 10

LEGENDS VS FREEBALLERS (+6) - Through the miracle of scheduling, this is the only time these teams are going to face off this year. The “new look” Freeballers are a beast that the Legends haven’t tamed yet, and with a potential playoff game in the future, the Legends will want to make sure the Freeballers don’t walk away with a shred of hope that they can pull the upset. They do anyway. LEGENDS BY 3

FREEBALLERS VS MAVERICKS (+7) - These two teams get to play each other after being left for dead by the Legends earlier in the day. How lucky for them. Freeballers get the end of season pick me up. FREEBALLERS BY 7

 

D2

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

CAN'T TOUCH THIS 30, FRODO SWAGGINS 26

BUFFALO VICE 21, D-GENERATION XYZ 6

FRODO SWAGGINS 60, BUFFALO VICE 32

Can't Touch This finished their regular season a nearly perfect 7-0-1, but Frodo gave them everything they could handle in a close game. Then Frodo turned around and scored SIXTY on Buffalo Vice, because Frodo Swaggins is incapable of having a normal Saturday. Speaking of Vice, they got their first win of the season over DXYZ in the morning and allowed 60 in the afternoon, which is quite the feat. 

WHAT'S AT STAKE

Honestly? Nothing. The seeds are locked: CTT is the 1, the Jabronies are the 2, Frodo is the 3, and all three have the Playoff Saturday bye. DXYZ and Buffalo Vice are the 4 and 5, they play each other in the only D2 game on Playoff Saturday no matter what happens this week, and the winner gets Can't Touch This as a prize. Saturday in D2 is about tune-ups, pride, and not getting anyone who matters hurt before the real games begin.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

JABRONIES VS BUFFALO VICE (+8) - The Jabronies look to get a quick pre-playoff refresher course in after having off last week. Buffalo Vice gets all the credit in the world for continuing to fight in D2. JABRONIES BY 8

FRODO SWAGGINS VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+7) - Frodo really looks to be coming around as the playoffs near, and what was once determined to be a two horse race looks to have a third contender for the crown. Meanwhile DXYZ is on cruise control a bit. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 13

D3

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

BULLET CLUB 24, PRACTICE SQUAD 15

LET'S GET RECCKED 20, WANDERERS 14

BULLET CLUB 33, CUNNING STUNTS 16

GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE 33, BQI 26

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 46, GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE 31

BQI 33, CUNNING STUNTS 26

PRACTICE SQUAD 31, TWO TUDDIES 17

ISH finished the regular season 7-0-1 and remains the final boss of this division. Bullet Club swept their doubleheader and finished 6-2. Grey Hair beat BQI and then ran into the ISH buzzsaw, BQI bounced back against the Stunts, Practice Squad FINALLY got their first win (and it took Jeremy Burr to dust off the cannon and play QB for them to do it), and the Wanderers lost by 6. Again. For the fourth straight game. Somebody check on the Wanderers.

WHAT'S AT STAKE

A lot, actually. ISH has the 1-seed locked, but the rest is up for grabs. Bullet Club's 2-seed is NOT safe. Their season is over and if BQI beats Two Tuddies on Saturday (which is becoming one of the easiest things for a D3 team to do this season), BQI also finishes 6-2,  and BQI holds the head-to-head from their 17-6 win. That would knock the Bullet Club down to 3 without them even playing. Grey Hair can potentially climb in the standings with a win, and if BQI loses, Grey Hair takes the 3-seed via THEIR head-to-head over BQI. Let's Get Reccked has two very winnable games against the Stunts and the Tud Buds that could cause a 3 way tie at 5-3 with BQI and Grey Hair if things fall a certain way for maximum fun. The middle of this bracket is a blender. And at the bottom, the 10am Practice Squad vs Wanderers game is essentially a play-in for the play-in: the loser is headed to the 8-9 game on Playoff Saturday, while the winner has to hope that the Tuddies don’t remember how football works again (they used to!) in order to avoid a rematch. 

The current percentages for who will play in the 8v9 game are as follows: 

Practice Squad - 57.4%

Wanderers - 67.3%

Two Tuddies - 75.3%

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

WANDERERS VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+2) - Schedule makers probably had this pegged as more of a “potential 1st place game” than a “Let’s escape the play in” game back in April, but here we are. Two storied franchises sit at a combined 1-12-1 which felt unfathomable when we started. I can’t imagine the Wanderers winning zero games in a season. WANDERERS BY 3

CUNNING STUNTS VS LET'S GET RECCKED (EVEN) - The Stunts sit at 2-2-2 but the losses have come against better teams in the division. LGR is kind of one of those teams, I think. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 6

LET'S GET RECCKED VS TWO TUDDIES (+9) - The bill for the Tuddies selling their souls to move up a few divisions finally seems to be due after a season I’m sure they’d like to forget. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 12

CUNNING STUNTS VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+2) - Grey Hair has settled in nicely and with a shot at a better seed on the line, expect them to keep it going. GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE BY 12

BQI VS TWO TUDDIES (+12) - BQI has only struggled with the top teams in D3, losing to ISH and GHDC. They DID beat Bullet Club during the monsoon, and because of that they’ll have a path to the 2 seed with a win here. Shouldn’t be too hard. BQI BY 14

D4

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

TATER TOTS 54, SHOW ME YOUR TDS 0

MIKE'S DETAILING 31, PUCKETT 24

MIKE'S DETAILING 34, BALLS DEEP 20

NOT SO STICKY 30, FLYING BALLS 24

COOCHIE MONSTERS 45, POWERPUFF GIRLS 34

FLYING BALLS 25, COBBLESTONE 21

PUCKETT 42, COBBLESTONE 6

Mike’s Detailing beat Puckett. Let's just sit with that for a second. The first loss for Puckett all season, and Mike's did it while also sweeping a doubleheader. Puckett responded by beating Cobblestone 42-6 hours later, because of course they did. Elsewhere, the Tater Tots dropped 54 points on Show Me Your TDs in the regular season finale of statistical terrorism, the Coochies outlasted the PowerPuff Girls in a shootout, and the Flying Balls got their first win.

WHAT'S AT STAKE

The #1 seed, and it's beautiful. Mike's Detailing and the Coochie Monsters are tied at 6-1, Puckett sits at 5-1 with TWO games Saturday, and here's the kicker: Mike's holds the head-to-head over BOTH of them with the 15-14 weather game against the Coochies and last week's 31-24 over Puckett. The math is so simple even B’s Brother can do it: if Mike's beats Not So Sticky, they're the 1-seed, period, no matter what happens in the Coochies-Puckett showdown. If Mike's loses, the winner of Coochies-Puckett has the inside track (Coochies are #1 if they win, Puckett would also need to beat Balls Deep later on to finish #1). Meanwhile Not So Sticky has the #4 seed nearly wrapped up, but watch Balls Deep as they have two games, and winning both gets them to 5-3 and could take the 4th spot if NSS loses to Mike’s. At the bottom, Cobblestone vs Show Me Your TDs at noon completes a three-way head-to-head round robin between them and the Flying Balls that will sort out seeds 8 through 10 and the play-in matchups on Playoff Saturday. Yes, the tiebreaker scenarios there require a whiteboard. No, I will not be drawing it. The fun part is seeing which of the middle teams end up as the 7 seed. The percentages of that happening for each team that could end up there: 

PowerPuff Girls - 4.0%

Tater Tots - 39.7%

Balls Deep - 56.3%

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

PUCKETT VS COOCHIE MONSTERS (+4) - A coin flip of epic proportions. Both of these teams have been the cat’s ass all year, and it lines up to give us a hell of a battle for potentially the top seed in the division. Puckett’s defensive armor has shown some cracks in the last two weeks against the two best offenses they’ve faced all year. Coochie represents quite the challenge as well. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 6

TATER TOTS VS BALLS DEEP (+3) - This is essentially a playoff game in the sense that the loser will more than likely end up the 7 seed. The only way that doesn’t happen is if the Tots win this one (good chance), PowerPuff loses to the Flying Balls (small chance), and then Balls Deep beats Puckett (medium to low chance). So yeah, this is probably a battle for “who doesn’t get the 7 seed”. Not sure Balls Deep can keep up with the Tots offense though. TATER TOTS BY 10.

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS FLYING BALLS (+7) - The Flying Balls need a statement win to salvage a tough season, the Girls need a win to make sure they don’t have to play a play-in game (an extra game could cost them players available with conflicts for their other teams). Girl power prevails. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 16

COBBLESTONE VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+4) - Both teams are looking to go into the playoffs on a winning note. After a season that’s been rough for both squads, I’m sure this will be some epic showdown where Darryl Carr QB Superstar leads his team to victory like it’s 1997. COBBLESTONE BY 8

MIKE'S DETAILING VS NOT SO STICKY (+6) - Not So Sticky needs this game a little. MD needs this game a lot. Plus they’ve been playing a bit better. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 7

PUCKETT VS BALLS DEEP (+10) - Balls Deep’s 3 wins are against the bottom three teams in the league. They haven’t really been close in their games against the “cream of the crop”. Puckett represents the latter here. PUCKETT BY 10

D5

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

COME FROM BEHIND 18, WET BANDITS 13

MO' CHICKEN 22, BLUE BALLERS 18

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS 30, PIT HARADE 25

BIRDS OF WAR 42, BLUE BALLERS 20

CALL THE DOCTOR 33, 716ERS 25

MO' CHICKEN 21, SBG 0 (FORFEIT)

MO' CHICKEN BEAT THE BLUE BALLERS. I've written a lot of sentences in this column over the years and that one might be in the top five least believable. The team with zero wins and two ties held the most explosive offense in the league to 18 points. Then the Birds of War beat the Blue Ballers by 22 in the afternoon, meaning the Ballers went from 5-0 and terrifying to 5-2 in roughly six hours. The Birds have now scored 58, 48, and 42 in their last three games and nobody wants any part of them as they’re the hottest team in the TSL. 

WHAT'S AT STAKE

Blitzkrieg controls the #1 seed: they hold the head-to-head over Call the Doctor, so one win Saturday locks it up. But their first game is against those white hot Birds of War, and here's where it gets fun: the Birds can finish anywhere from the 1 seed to the 3 seed depending on Saturday. Beat Blitzkrieg and get a Call the Doctor loss, and there's a genuine three-way tiebreaker scenario at the top that the Birds actually win, I think, considering that Topper’s magical tie breaker machine still runs that portion of the league. The Blue Ballers are done, as they’ve had to forfeit against the 716ers and are locked into the #4 seed (the Birds hold the head-to-head). In the middle, Come From Behind, the 716ers, and the Wet Bandits are sorting out seeds 5 through 7,  which matters here, because seeds 6 through 11 are all in play-in games on Playoff Saturday, and your seed determines whether your reward for surviving is Blitzkrieg, Call the Doctor, or the Birds. Mo' Chicken, fresh off the upset of the spring, scared the McMuffins into a forfeit this week.  In this mess of a division, Saturday is musical chairs and the music is very loud. It’ll be interesting to see how it all shakes out.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

BLITZKRIEG VS BIRDS OF WAR (+4) - Game of the Day Potential here. The hottest team in the division all year against the hottest team in the division of the last few weeks. BOW has their sights set on the division crown, but Blitzkrieg has been on cruise control all season. This should be a good one. BIRDS OF WAR BY 3

COME FROM BEHIND VS SBG (+14) - The 716ers forfeit win over Blue Ballers makes this game matter even more for CFB. Come From Behind needs to win this game, and I’m pretty sure they need to score a decent amount of points in order to pass the 716ers for the final “non play-in” slot for the playoffs. COME FROM BEHIND BY 20

CALL THE DOCTOR VS WET BANDITS (+8) - This game matters a bit for both teams, potentially. Wet Bandits could use the win to perhaps sneak into the 5 seed. CTD, meanwhile could need this win to finish as the #1 seed in the division if the Birds of War beat Blitzkrieg earlier in the day. If that happens, CTD would have to pray that Pit Harade pulls off an upset too. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 13

BLITZKRIEG VS PIT HARADE (+12) - This game either really matters for Blitzkrieg, or it won’t matter at all. If BK wins against BOW, they clinch first overall and can mail this one in and have “fun”. If they lose to BOW, then they HAVE to win this game, which doesn’t bode well for a Pit Harade team that’s been close to a few wins but haven’t quite gotten there yet. BLITZKRIEG BY 14

D6

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

TMA 34, INTENTIONAL CLOWNING 6

SELECT 26, RAW MILKERS 0

In Week 2, Intentional Clowning beat TMA 33-10. On Saturday, TMA beat Intentional Clowning 34-6. That is a 51-point swing between meetings of the same two teams, and it instantly handed TMA the division lead and turned the D6 title picture upside down. Quietly, Select also pitched a shutout for their second win in three weeks. D6 has spent all season being the league's strangest division and it's finishing strong.

WHAT'S AT STAKE

The top two seeds get the Playoff Saturday bye, and only one of them is settled, sort of. TMA has a bye locked, but the #1 seed itself is live: if TMA beats Select and IC sweeps their doubleheader, both finish at 7-1 with losses against each other, and then Topper Magic takes over yet again. Which means Saturday's games matter for points for those teams in D6, not just the results. And if TMA somehow loses to Select while IC goes 2-0, Intentional Clowning steals the #1 seed outright. The second bye could come down to the Intentional Clowning vs Irish Giants game where the Giants need to win out and have Sticky Laces beat IC. It stands to be an interesting Saturday in D6.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

TMA VS SELECT (+8) - TMA has one of the byes wrapped up, but more importantly, they’ve been on a tear since they lost their first game and nothing seems to slow them down. Select has great defense, and they’re improving, but they aren’t yet on the TMA level. TMA BY 6

STICKY LACES VS RAW MILKERS (+6) - The Raw Milkers are just a half step behind all of the teams in D6. They compete, but they just aren’t quite there overall yet. The Sticky Laces have been pretty consistent and are arguably a bit better than their record shows. STICKY LACES BY 8

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS STICKY LACES (+7) - IC needs this one, they can’t chance potentially missing out on the bye. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 13

IRISH GIANTS VS RAW MILKERS (+9) - The Giants have an outside shot at the bye, and they’ve been pretty good all season. And I don’t even think they’ve been playing their best football yet. IRISH GIANTS BY 12

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS (+3) - This more than likely isn’t anything other than a future playoff preview, but these teams are pretty evenly matched. I just give a slight nod to the IC. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 2

 

GF vs GPT

WEEK 7

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 15-14-1

The Godfather: 15-14-1

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 19-11

The Godfather: 18-12

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 90-64-5

The Godfather: 82-72-5

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 107-45-7

The Godfather: 100-52-7

The cold and calculated Skynet wannabe has a decent lead here, which is disappointing. Here’s hoping I make up some ground here. 

 

THE TSC’S PICKS: 

 

THE MALONES VS WHAT A DUMP (+13) - THE MALONES BY 16

STICKY BANDITS VS WHAT A DUMP (+10) - STICKY BANDITS BY 12

THE MALONES VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+4) - THE MALONES BY 5

LEGENDS VS MAVERICKS (+8) - LEGENDS BY 10

LEGENDS VS FREEBALLERS (+6) - LEGENDS BY 7

FREEBALLERS VS MAVERICKS (+7) - FREEBALLERS BY 9

JABRONIES VS BUFFALO VICE (+8) - JABRONIES BY 11

FRODO SWAGGINS VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+7) - FRODO SWAGGINS BY 10

WANDERERS VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+2) - WANDERERS BY 6

CUNNING STUNTS VS LET'S GET RECCKED (EVEN) - LET'S GET RECCKED BY 2

LET'S GET RECCKED VS TWO TUDDIES (+9) - LET'S GET RECCKED BY 12

CUNNING STUNTS VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+2) - GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE BY 3

BQI VS TWO TUDDIES (+12) - BQI BY 15

PUCKETT VS COOCHIE MONSTERS (+4) - PUCKETT BY 7

TATER TOTS VS BALLS DEEP (+3) - BALLS DEEP BY 2

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS FLYING BALLS (+7) - POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 9

COBBLESTONE VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+4) - COBBLESTONE BY 6

MIKE'S DETAILING VS NOT SO STICKY (+6) - MIKE'S DETAILING BY 8

PUCKETT VS BALLS DEEP (+10) - PUCKETT BY 14

BLITZKRIEG VS BIRDS OF WAR (+4) - BLITZKRIEG BY 6

COME FROM BEHIND VS SBG (+14) - COME FROM BEHIND BY 17

CALL THE DOCTOR VS WET BANDITS (+8) - CALL THE DOCTOR BY 10

BLITZKRIEG VS PIT HARADE (+12) - BLITZKRIEG BY 15

TMA VS SELECT (+8) - TMA BY 12

STICKY LACES VS RAW MILKERS (+6) - STICKY LACES BY 8

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS STICKY LACES (+7) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 9

IRISH GIANTS VS RAW MILKERS (+9) - IRISH GIANTS BY 11

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS (+3) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 4

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

1. Mike's Detailing can lock up the D4 1-seed by simply beating Not So Sticky but the Puckett vs Coochie Monsters game might be the best matchup of the regular season anyway. Puckett's defense allowed 24 or fewer in every game until Mike's hung 31 on them last week. Who survives the D4 gauntlet holding the top seed?  I do think Puckett wins both of their games this week, but it will be all for naught as Mike’s Detailing will beat NSS to take the top seed. 
2. The Freeballers get the Legends in the final chance for anyone in D1 to ruin a perfect season. The Legends' closest game this year was a 4-point win over the Sticky Bandits. Can the Freeballers do it? Can they? Yes, there IS a world where they can. It’s just highly unlikely. The Legends have a habit of “getting up” for games against teams they haven’t played yet, and they have yet to play THIS season’s version of the Freeballers. 
3. The Tater Tots and Balls Deep have somehow never played each other, they're separated by nothing in the standings, and the winner of their game gets the 6-seed and dodges the play-in round entirely. The Tots just scored 54. Balls Deep allows 16 a game. Which identity holds up? I think the Tots ability to score points holds up better than the Balls Deep defense. Look no further than the Tots dropping 31 on Puckett’s killer defense two weeks ago. The Tots are really good. 
4. Eyes Downtown beat The Malones 31-29 six days ago, and the schedule immediately runs it back with the 2-seed hanging over the rematch. Was last week the wake-up call The Malones needed, or did ED expose something real? Can it be a little of both? The Malones learned they need to be a little bit better under pressure, instead of doing the whole “yell at each other a lot” thing that they tend to do in close games. I don’t think Eyes Downtown exposed them in any way, I just think ED reminded everyone who they are. Pretty good timing for that. 
5. Blitzkrieg has allowed 41 points all season. The Birds of War have scored 148 in their last three games.  Saturday, one of those numbers stops being true. Which one? Birds of War are going to score on Blitzkrieg. They might even surpass 41 points, but I don’t think that will be the case. BK has been lucky in the sense that they missed out on playing both Come From Behind and the Blue Ballers completely this season, and they haven’t played BOW yet, obviously. In other words, they’ve had an easier schedule. Not to say they’re frauds, just saying that their defense might have had it easy for 7 weeks. BOW is a real test here. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

-From the Rose Garden: This week there will be a wedding at the Rose Garden at 5:00. While they aren’t asking everyone to leave, they’d like people to move to the inside bar starting around 4:30pm please. 

 

-Breakfast Club playoffs start this week. Paige proved to be a more than capable captain as she led her team to a 5-0-1 record and the top seed. Team Carly takes the other bye. This week we get #3 Fittsmagic vs #6 Megoonsta’s and #4 Water Under The Bridget vs #5 Steph Infection. 

 

• Fittsmagic 35, Megoonsta’s 29

• Water Under The Bridget 30, Steph Infection 26

 

 

-GAMES OF THE DAY: 

10:00 - Practice Squad vs Wanderers

11:00 - Eyes Downtown vs The Malones

12:00 - Flying Balls vs PowerPuff Girls

1:00 - Birds Of War vs Blitzkrieg

2:00 - Freeballers vs Legends

3:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Grey Hair - Don’t Care

 

-The weather for Buffalo this week is going to be 80 degrees and sunny. Perfect football weather. But stay hydrated and wear sunscreen. 

 

-Legends and Blitzkrieg are the only two teams still available to win every game this season. ISH and CTT both went 7-0-1. Probably should’ve toughed out the rain. 

 

-Andrew Kicak sent me an email and talked about boring things about how great Alexander Lee has been, or that Ellory Harpst leads the team in touchdowns this season after being more known for her defense over the years. And also that she’s a great Physical Therapist for all of you TSLers that could use one after a long season! 

 

-He also asked Jeff Krol to make a “UFC ring on that gravel lot” so he can challenge Bobby to a duel, presumably. Lenny would make it so. Just saying. 

 

-Winless teams remaining: Mavericks, Wanderers, Pit Harade, SBG. Last chance you guys. 

 

-The wine tournament is a go! It will once again be at the Black Willow Winery, and it will take place a little earlier than usual this year, on Saturday, August 1st. If you want to get ahead of the game and sign up asap, you can do so here: 

 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1urBLH44_96Fkih8OhD4IkAFZUKmKdAs0vxERt0bC7x0/edit

 

-Finally, with the season coming to an end, tensions will start to rise and tempers will start to flare. Keep your composure, and if you notice a teammate struggling to keep theirs, help them out with it. Don’t let someone get suspended for the playoffs because they lost their mind from the pressure that comes with chasing down Immortality. 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 6 THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 29 May 2026 18:44

Published: Friday, 29 May 2026 18:44

Written by Topper

Hits: 146

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to the midpoint of the TSL Spring 2026 season. While I’m fully aware that “technically” that was last week, after Week 1 was sprinkled in all over the rest of the season, this became the point in the schedule when our TSL teams really start to lock into who they are this year. There is no more “rust” to knock off like there was early in the season. The players that were the missing piece in that “closer than the score says” Week 3 loss where you’d say “Oh well when Jimmy/Bobby/Susie show up we’ll be fine” in the group chat have since shown up (or for some teams, you’ve realized they’re not coming) so hopefully they’re making a difference. 

 

The first half of the TSL season is usually full of random anomalies as teams adjust to new fields, new teammates, new opponents, new jersey colors, new cleats, etc. On top of that, it’s a bit harder to really dive straight into your killer instinct when you’re just happy to be at the fields again, seeing your friends you may not have seen in months, and dopamine is through the roof. Once you add in that this season’s theme so far has been “Waterworld”, where the TSL statistics team has had to measure our “TSL Wetness Index” in actual rainfall as opposed to the usual “TSLers around Shirtless Chris”, it stands to reason that we still have no clue just how the Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality will end, but we sure can see that how we get there is going to be VERY fun. 

 

Of course, there are things that have happened so far during the last rain soaked month that are already truths to the puzzle that is the TSL Spring 2026 season. At a time that’s chock full of uncertainty, here are some things we can be certain of, both good and bad: 

 

-The Legends still rule

-The Malones are for real

-Freeballers finally figured it out

-What A Dump is the answer to “Of the 7 D1 teams this session, who is the only one that shouldn’t realistically expect a championship run?”

-Can’t Touch This is the best TSL regular season team ever

-The Jabronies will look good in D1 next season regardless of what happens in the playoffs this year

-D3 is its usual chaos

-The key to be a top team in D3 is to go by 3 letters (BQI, ISH)

-The Stunts are beyond back

-The reward for finishing 1st in D3 right now is getting to play either the Wanderers or Playoff B. 

-Expect teams to lose on purpose to avoid this

-Puckett is going to look good in D2 next season because what the hell guys?

-Show Me Your TDs will look good in D6 next season which there is nothing wrong with dropping back to improve

-D4 is also nuts in general

-Blitzkrieg and Blue Ballers are on a collision course for the D5 title

-There’s a clear line between the “haves” and “have nots” in D5

-A current “have not” team will catch fire and rocket up the standings, but who?

-D6 is anyone’s title for the taking, it’ll come down to who wants it more

 

In other words, we only know a little bit so far after 4 weeks of TSL football, and there’s a LOT that will be figured out over the next few weeks. 

 

Weather permitting. 

D1

Championship Odds

Legends (3-1)
The Malones (4-1)
Freeballers (5-1)
Sticky Bandits (8-1)
Eyes Downtown (18-1)
Mavericks (22-1)
What A Dump (75-1)

The top stays the same, unsurprisingly, but after Legends gets really fun. The Malones and Freeballers shoot up the charts, jumping over Sticky and Eyes Downtown. It looks like a 4 team race here, but both ED and the Mavs are ready to make some noise of their own. WAD looks to be in trouble. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

THE MALONES 40, STICKY BANDITS 39

FREEBALLERS 35, STICKY BANDITS 18

D1 had a weird one last week. The Malones proved they’re very real, the Freeballers kept rolling, as the Sticky Bandits had one of the roughest doubleheaders imaginable. Until this week’s doubleheader anyway. There is a world where their Doomsday Clock is ticking, hopefully somebody will count it down for them this week so they can do something about it. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

EYES DOWNTOWN VS STICKY BANDITS (+2) - While the rain didn’t help, it was the Sticky Bandits’ inability to mentally count down from 10 that did them in last week while also more than likely carried over into that second game. Now, as we get proof that Jeff Krol doesn’t favor his own squad in scheduling decisions, they get what SHOULD be an even harder doubleheader a week later. ED is only 1-2 this season so far, and the win was against WAD, so they’ll be looking to make a statement here as they remind everyone who they are. Sticky needs a win here to get back on track. This feels like a tie, but we don’t pick those here: STICKY BANDITS BY 1

LEGENDS VS STICKY BANDITS (+5) - And from there, Sticky gets to play against the Legends, who come into this game a little well rested after getting the best bye week ever last week and skipping having to play in the monsoon. It’s their world until someone shows me otherwise. LEGENDS BY 8

THE MALONES VS MAVERICKS (+7) - While The Malones are getting all of the publicity (and deservedly so) about their run in D1 so far, let’s take a second to remember a couple of things about the Mavericks. First off, the whole reason they were in D1 before The Malones? They beat The Malones multiple times in D2. Yes, they’re 0-3 (and more than likely would be 1-3 if they played WAD last week) but after an early season loss to the Freeballers, they’ve shaken off two consecutive slow starts to make close comebacks that just fell short against both Sticky and the Legends. They’re due. MAVERICKS BY 2

 

D2

Championship Odds

Can’t Touch This (3-1)
Jabronies (7-1)
Frodo Swaggins (10-1)
D-Generation XYZ (20-1)
Buffalo Vice (35-1)

CTT and the Jabronies keep pulling away, although Frodo can’t be counted out of the mix. DXYZ and Vice have had some bright spots, but it’s hard to imagine them winning the whole thing as of right now. 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

FRODO SWAGGINS 35, BUFFALO VICE 16

CAN’T TOUCH THIS 25, D-GENERATION XYZ 6

JABRONIES 27, D-GENERATION XYZ 14

CAN’T TOUCH THIS 21, FRODO SWAGGINS 21 

Can’t Touch This still looks like the class of the division, but Frodo made a big statement against Vice before the weather stole their matchup against CTT. The Jabronies steadied themselves, DXYZ had a miserable doubleheader, and Buffalo Vice is still looking for that first D2 win.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS BUFFALO VICE (+10) - CTT is on a roll, there’s no doubt about that. I don’t want to say this is their “easy” week, because Vice doesn’t deserve that lack of respect even with the growing pains they’re having with the D2 jump. Historically, when you get a matchup like this though, it’s hard to not pick the favorite. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 12

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+9) - A rematch of last week’s 25-6 game that more than likely was affected by the weather, at least a little bit. I expect the combo of DXYZ’s smarts plus getting CTT in their second game will help them keep it close, but I’m not sure they pull the win out. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 4

JABRONIES VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+6) - I guess if Frodo is going to be “in the mix” for the title, they’re going to have to pull off an upset at some point. The Jabronies beat them by 9 last time, but both teams have only improved since that matchup. I’m not sure they have the horses to keep up. JABRONIES BY 8

D3

Championship Odds

Interspacial Squalling Harriers (4-1)
BQI (6-1)
Cunning Stunts (8-1)
Let’s Get Reccked (12-1)
Bullet Club (14-1)
Grey Hair - Don’t Care (16-1)
Two Tuddies (25-1)
Wanderers (30-1)
Practice Squad (60-1)

It doesn’t matter what the odds are here, any of these teams can win D3 and it wouldn’t surprise a soul. For right now, D3 is split into thirds: You have ISH, BQI, and the Stunts slightly ahead of the pack, you get the ‘mushy middle’ with LGR, Grey Hair, and Bullet Club, and then you have the trio of underperforming teams with the Tud Buds, Wanderers, and the Squad. I fully expect this to look a bit different in a few weeks. 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

BQI 17, BULLET CLUB 6

LET’S GET RECCKED 45, PRACTICE SQUAD 10

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 41, PRACTICE SQUAD 19

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 29, TWO TUDDIES 6

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE 8, TWO TUDDIES 0

D3 is becoming ISH and BQI at the top, with everyone else trying to figure out where they belong. Practice Squad is in real trouble, LGR is heating up, Grey Hair won an ugly weather game, and Bullet Club/Tuddies both badly need a response after such lackluster performances..

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS LET’S GET RECCKED (+6) - One of the worst names in the TSL takes on one of the best as ISH (Bad) battles LGR (Good). ISH has been cruising through the season so far, although they haven’t really been tested yet, while LGR sure has been. Upset alert. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 7

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS BQI (+2) - Not enough is being said about the doubleheader ISH has to go through this week. LGR And BQI? Hopefully they have the horses with them this week. BQI just keeps winning, and one has to wonder just how long they can keep this up. It ends this week. INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS BY 3

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS BULLET CLUB (+1) - What an interesting matchup. Both teams have played 4 games. GHDC is 3-1 with a +1 point differential, BC is 2-2 and they’re +2. Both teams beat the Wanderers. GHDC also slipped by Practice Squad and Two Tuddies. BC beat LGR, who beat GHDC by 19 points. BC’s losses have been to ISH and BQI. BULLET CLUB BY 6

BULLET CLUB VS TWO TUDDIES (+4) - An incoming fun matchup here, where both teams could really use the win. The Tuddies haven’t really been settled in this season overall, and in a season where mother nature has caused enough chaos on her own, being unsettled as a team is very “not great”. Bullet Club has the roster that, on paper, really looks like they should be better than a .500 team. Sweeping this doubleheader would do wonders for them. BULLET CLUB BY 3

 

D4

Championship Odds

Puckett (3-1)
Coochie Monsters (5-1)
Mike’s Detailing (7-1)
Tater Tots (10-1)
Not So Sticky (12-1)
Balls Deep (18-1)
PowerPuff Girls (30-1)
Cobblestone (40-1)
Flying Balls (50-1)
Show Me Your TDs (150-1)

Puckett is on another level of insane this season. That’s not say winning the title is an understatement, but given their playoff DNA, look out. The Coochies, Mike’s Detailing, and the Tots could give them a run, but this is something else. The other teams that could always surprise are NSS, Balls Deep, and of course the PPG. The other three feel like they just have a lot to figure out. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

BALLS DEEP 25, FLYING BALLS 6

MIKE’S DETAILING 15, COOCHIE MONSTERS 14

NOT SO STICKY 22, COBBLESTONE 7

COBBLESTONE 14, MIKE’S DETAILING 0

PUCKETT 48, SHOW ME YOUR TDS 0

D4 may be the weirdest division in the league right now. Mike’s Detailing beat Coochie and then got blanked by Cobblestone. Puckett continues to look terrifying. Balls Deep got a much-needed win, and Show Me Your TDs is still searching for offense.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BALLS DEEP VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+10) - Balls Deep won the battle of the wet Balls last week, and they’re finally getting on the right track. And now they get the TSL’s version of the “cure all” a week later in SMYTDs, a team that wasn’t quite placed in the right division staying true to their namesake. Just like that, the slow start to the season is gone. BALLS DEEP BY 27

PUCKETT VS TATER TOTS (+10) - Well, one thing is for certain: The Tots will score more points in this game than Puckett has allowed all season. If they don’t, B must retire on the spot. The Tots represent Puckett’s toughest test to date, although the same can be said the other way around. This should be an absolutely awesome game to watch. PUCKETT BY 3

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS NOT SO STICKY (+3) - It took a hurricane for the Coochies to lose a game, and that was still only by 1 point. Not So Sticky is a formidable foe and will give them a game, but I’m not sure they’ll be able to stick with the Monsters this week. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 8

COBBLESTONE VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (-8) - Cobblestone is fresh off a 14-0 shutout victory over Mike’s Detailing as Darryl Carr QB Superstar used his veteran savvy and know-how to win in the elements. Along comes the vulnerable Powerpuff Girls who haven’t been themselves this season. And we all know what happens when Garrett is around vulnerable women. COBBLESTONE BY 4

NOT SO STICKY VS TATER TOTS (-3) - There’s a pretty clear line between these two teams right now this season, and while a win by NSS erases that this week, I just don’t see a path for that to happen. TATER TOTS BY 7

MIKE’S DETAILING VS FLYING BALLS (+8) - Mike’s Detailing pulled off the big win before pulling off the big loss last week, and I’m not sure anyone had that on their bingo boards. The other thing people didn’t have on their boards? Flying Balls struggling the way they have. While I remain confident they’re going to “figure it out” in the next few weeks, getting a top team with something to prove isn’t always the best way to do that. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 10

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+8) - I don’t know how that’s only an 8 point spread, but okay. Even if they PPGs aren’t up to their usual standards, that line might be erased within 30 seconds. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 24

FLYING BALLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+3) - If the Flying Balls can’t pull this one off, they should immediately, as a group, find the closest church and ask for a group exorcism. FLYING BALLS BY 17

 

D5

Championship Odds

Blitzkrieg (3-1)
Blue Ballers (3-1)
Call the Doctor (6-1)
716ers (10-1)
Birds of War (16-1)
Wet Bandits (25-1)
Come From Behind (35-1)
Sausage McMuffins (40-1)
Pit Harade (60-1)
Mo’ Chicken (75-1)
SBG (150-1)

BK and the Blue Ballers are in their own tier currently. Everyone else has some things to figure out ranging from “not too much” (Call The Doctor) to “what the hell is football?” (SBG). 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

BLITZKRIEG 22, CALL THE DOCTOR 9

BLITZKRIEG 20, 716ERS 8

CALL THE DOCTOR 21, SBG 0 (Forfeit)

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS 32, COME FROM BEHIND 22

MO’ CHICKEN 21, PIT HARADE 21 

716ERS 39, MO’ CHICKEN 12

BLUE BALLERS 52, WET BANDITS 6

716ERS 21, WET BANDITS 21 (Maybe?) 

D5 remains absolutely insane. Blitzkrieg passed two harder tests, Blue Ballers dropped 52 in nightmare weather, Call the Doctor recovered well, Sausage McMuffins finally got on the board, and the 716ers rebounded very well from a close loss to BK with a win over MO. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BLITZKRIEG VS WET BANDITS (+11) - The Wet Bandits are 2-1 and have a -30 point differential. I have no idea if they’re good or not. However, I DO know that Blitzkrieg isn’t just good, they’re VERY good. BLITZKRIEG BY 18

CALL THE DOCTOR VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+8) - It took a hurricane for the McMuffins to get in the win column, but they did it. They’ll be looking to continue that success against Call The Doctor, but with the way CTD has been playing, I don’t think it’s likely. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 9

WET BANDITS VS PIT HARADE (+3) - Pit Harade’s defense (or lack thereof) has been their undoing so far this season, and getting a rainout against Mo Chicken wasn’t ideal when they could’ve used the reps against another struggling team. They need the win to get back on track, and the Wet Bandits need this win to keep pace in D5 as best as they can. WET BANDITS BY 1

BLUE BALLERS VS SBG (+12) - I don’t know how it happened, but the Blue Ballers are already up 16-0 in this game. BLUE BALLERS BY 38

BIRDS OF WAR VS SBG (+6) - SBG has been struggling so far, there’s no question about it. That’s the danger of being a brand new team to the TSL. On the other hand, the Birds of War are a new team to the TSL and they’ve fit in pretty nicely. They’re 2-2, but could very easily be 4-0 (their losses were by 1 and 4 points) and one has to think the positive vibes are flowing in that locker room. BIRDS OF WAR BY 7

COME FROM BEHIND VS PIT HARADE (+2) - Two struggling teams meet up with the hopes of using this game to springboard their season to getting on the right track. It’s been a rough go for both sides, and some consistency could be just what the doctor ordered. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

COME FROM BEHIND VS MO’ CHICKEN (+4) - Mo’ Chicken is another team that still struggles, and they just have to keep improving week by week. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

716ERS VS BIRDS OF WAR (+1) - Two new teams who are off to good starts go to battle and this is a game I’ll be keeping my eye on for sure. Secret Game of the Day vibes here. BIRDS OF WAR BY 3. 

 

D6

Championship Odds

Intentional Clowning (4-1)
Irish Giants (7-1)
Sticky Laces (8-1)
TMA (10-1)
Raw Milkers (25-1)
Select (40-1)

Clowning is the current favorite, but really any of the top 4 teams should win this one. Don’t count out the Milkers or Select though. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

TMA 20, RAW MILKERS 16

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING 28, RAW MILKERS 16

IRISH GIANTS 16, SELECT 8

D6 is starting to separate, but not cleanly. Intentional Clowning is unbeaten, TMA keeps winning despite weird underlying numbers, Irish Giants are right there, and Sticky Laces still feel dangerous despite not playing last week.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

TMA VS RAW MILKERS (+4) - TMA won this battle a week ago in a monsoon, so how will they fare in the sun? I think they’ll do a bit better. TMA BY 10

TMA VS STICKY LACES (+2) - Sticky Laces have rebounded nicely from a heartbreaking start to the season, and now look to knock off another fellow title contender. They catch TMA at the right time. STICKY LACES BY 1

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS SELECT (+8) - Select is very good at slowing down opposing offenses. The problem for them right now is that the offense they’re best at preventing from scoring is their own. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 7

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS (+3) - The IC gets a tough match up in their second game this week, but with the Giants being so inconsistent, I don’t think it’s going to matter. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 8

STICKY LACES VS SELECT (+5) - The Laces look to keep the good times rollin’ here against Select, but there’s no way Select keeps losing, right? Upset alert. SELECT BY 3

GF vs GPT

WEEK 5 ONLY

Against The Spread

Topper’s Super Computer: 18-7-1
The Godfather: 16-9-1

Straight Up

Topper’s Super Computer: 19-5-2
The Godfather: 16-8-2

OVERALL SEASON

Against The Spread

Topper’s Super Computer: 55-40-3
The Godfather: 52-43-3

Straight Up

Topper’s Super Computer: 64-28-6
The Godfather: 59-33-6

 

THE TSC’S PICKS

UPDATED TSC PICKS

EYES DOWNTOWN VS STICKY BANDITS (+2) - STICKY BANDITS BY 3

LEGENDS VS STICKY BANDITS (+5) - LEGENDS BY 6

THE MALONES VS MAVERICKS (+7) - THE MALONES BY 9

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS BUFFALO VICE (+10) - CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 13

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+9) - CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 10

JABRONIES VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+6) - JABRONIES BY 3

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS LET’S GET RECCKED (+6) - ISH BY 8

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS BQI (+2) - ISH BY 4

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS BULLET CLUB (+1) - BULLET CLUB BY 2

BULLET CLUB VS TWO TUDDIES (+4) - BULLET CLUB BY 6

BALLS DEEP VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+10) - BALLS DEEP BY 13

PUCKETT VS TATER TOTS (+10) - PUCKETT BY 11

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS NOT SO STICKY (+3) - COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 5

COBBLESTONE VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (-8) - POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 9

NOT SO STICKY VS TATER TOTS (-3) - TATER TOTS BY 4

MIKE’S DETAILING VS FLYING BALLS (+8) - MIKE’S DETAILING BY 10

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+8) - POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 9

FLYING BALLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+3) - FLYING BALLS BY 5

BLITZKRIEG VS WET BANDITS (+11) - BLITZKRIEG BY 14

CALL THE DOCTOR VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+8) - CALL THE DOCTOR BY 10

WET BANDITS VS PIT HARADE (+3) - WET BANDITS BY 4

BLUE BALLERS VS SBG (+12) - BLUE BALLERS BY 18

BIRDS OF WAR VS SBG (+6) - BIRDS OF WAR BY 8

COME FROM BEHIND VS PIT HARADE (+2) - COME FROM BEHIND BY 4

COME FROM BEHIND VS MO’ CHICKEN (+4) - COME FROM BEHIND BY 6

716ERS VS BIRDS OF WAR (+1) - 716ERS BY 2

TMA VS RAW MILKERS (+4) - TMA BY 5

TMA VS STICKY LACES (+2) - STICKY LACES BY 2

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS SELECT (+8) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 10

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS (+3) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 4

STICKY LACES VS SELECT (+5) - STICKY LACES BY 6

 

GAME LINES AND OVER/UNDERS

D1

EYES DOWNTOWN VS STICKY BANDITS

Spread: Sticky Bandits +2
Moneyline: Eyes Downtown -130 / Sticky Bandits +110
Over/Under: 63.5

LEGENDS VS STICKY BANDITS

Spread: Sticky Bandits +5
Moneyline: Legends -210 / Sticky Bandits +170
Over/Under: 69.5

MAVERICKS VS THE MALONES

Spread: Mavericks +7
Moneyline: The Malones -280 / Mavericks +220
Over/Under: 74.5

D2

BUFFALO VICE VS CAN’T TOUCH THIS

Spread: Buffalo Vice +10
Moneyline: Can’t Touch This -420 / Buffalo Vice +310
Over/Under: 62.5

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS D-GENERATION XYZ

Spread: D-Generation XYZ +9
Moneyline: Can’t Touch This -375 / D-Generation XYZ +285
Over/Under: 60.5

FRODO SWAGGINS VS JABRONIES

Spread: Frodo Swaggins +1
Moneyline: Jabronies -115 / Frodo Swaggins -105
Over/Under: 61.5

D3

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS LET’S GET RECCKED

Spread: Let’s Get Reccked +6
Moneyline: ISH -240 / Let’s Get Reccked +190
Over/Under: 68.5

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS BQI

Spread: BQI +2
Moneyline: ISH -135 / BQI +115
Over/Under: 67.5

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS BULLET CLUB

Spread: Bullet Club +1
Moneyline: Grey Hair -115 / Bullet Club -105
Over/Under: 51.5

BULLET CLUB VS TWO TUDDIES

Spread: Two Tuddies +4
Moneyline: Bullet Club -175 / Two Tuddies +145
Over/Under: 50.5

D4

BALLS DEEP VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS

Spread: Show Me Your TDs +10
Moneyline: Balls Deep -420 / Show Me Your TDs +310
Over/Under: 42.5

PUCKETT VS TATER TOTS

Spread: Tater Tots +10
Moneyline: Puckett -420 / Tater Tots +310
Over/Under: 80.5

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS NOT SO STICKY

Spread: Not So Sticky +3
Moneyline: Coochie Monsters -155 / Not So Sticky +135
Over/Under: 58.5

COBBLESTONE VS POWERPUFF GIRLS

Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: Cobblestone -110 / PowerPuff Girls -110
Over/Under: 50.5

NOT SO STICKY VS TATER TOTS

Spread: Tater Tots +1
Moneyline: Not So Sticky -115 / Tater Tots -105
Over/Under: 62.5

MIKE’S DETAILING VS FLYING BALLS

Spread: Flying Balls +8
Moneyline: Mike’s Detailing -320 / Flying Balls +240
Over/Under: 57.5

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS

Spread: Show Me Your TDs +8
Moneyline: PowerPuff Girls -320 / Show Me Your TDs +240
Over/Under: 44.5

FLYING BALLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS

Spread: Show Me Your TDs +3
Moneyline: Flying Balls -155 / Show Me Your TDs +135
Over/Under: 36.5

D5

BLITZKRIEG VS WET BANDITS

Spread: Wet Bandits +11
Moneyline: Blitzkrieg -500 / Wet Bandits +350
Over/Under: 58.5

CALL THE DOCTOR VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS

Spread: Sausage McMuffins +8
Moneyline: Call the Doctor -320 / Sausage McMuffins +240
Over/Under: 58.5

WET BANDITS VS PIT HARADE

Spread: Pit Harade +3
Moneyline: Wet Bandits -155 / Pit Harade +135
Over/Under: 45.5

BLUE BALLERS VS SBG

Spread: SBG +12
Moneyline: Blue Ballers -550 / SBG +375
Over/Under: 66.5

BIRDS OF WAR VS SBG

Spread: SBG +6
Moneyline: Birds of War -240 / SBG +190
Over/Under: 54.5

COME FROM BEHIND VS PIT HARADE

Spread: Pit Harade +2
Moneyline: Come From Behind -135 / Pit Harade +115
Over/Under: 48.5

COME FROM BEHIND VS MO’ CHICKEN

Spread: Mo’ Chicken +4
Moneyline: Come From Behind -175 / Mo’ Chicken +145
Over/Under: 48.5

716ERS VS BIRDS OF WAR

Spread: Birds of War +1
Moneyline: 716ers -115 / Birds of War -105
Over/Under: 57.5

D6

TMA VS RAW MILKERS

Spread: Raw Milkers +4
Moneyline: TMA -175 / Raw Milkers +145
Over/Under: 41.5

TMA VS STICKY LACES

Spread: Sticky Laces +2
Moneyline: TMA -135 / Sticky Laces +115
Over/Under: 43.5

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS SELECT

Spread: Select +8
Moneyline: Intentional Clowning -320 / Select +240
Over/Under: 45.5

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS

Spread: Irish Giants +3
Moneyline: Intentional Clowning -155 / Irish Giants +135
Over/Under: 50.5

STICKY LACES VS SELECT

Spread: Select +5
Moneyline: Sticky Laces -210 / Select +170
Over/Under: 42.5

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

• Can Sticky Bandits survive the most brutal D1 stretch of the season? Well, they’ve already struggled through the first half of it, and that was supposed to be the “easy” doubleheader. At the end of the day, even if they suffer two more losses this week, Sticky has the talent and the infrastructure to figure it out before the playoffs. Probably. 

• Is ISH vs BQI officially the biggest D3 game of the year so far? Sure looks like it, doesn’t it? Both teams are on a tear and at the top of the division. We’re going to have great conditions for it. I can’t wait to see who survives. 

• Are the Blue Ballers and Blitzkrieg on a collision course in D5? Absolutely. The Blue Ballers are an offensive machine that might only be able to be slowed down by landmines. Blitzkrieg has been fine tuning their game for what feels like a decade and they’re so incredibly locked in. I can’t imagine anyone else pulling off an upset right now. 

• Is Puckett’s defense actually as terrifying as the numbers say? They’re good. Let’s not get it twisted. But I mean, they’re allowing TWO points a game. That’s unsustainable. No, they haven’t played the three worst teams either. They shutout SMYTDs, sure, but they allowed 6 points to NSS and then shut out the Powerpuff Girls too. Not exactly slouches. 

• Which winless team is finally going to give us something to talk about? The Mavericks will when they beat The Malones this week. 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

Breakfast Club Predictions: 

1. Megoonsta’s 22, Steph Infection 15
2. Water Under The Bridget 37, Total CARnage 36
3. On A Rampaige 30, Fittsmagic 27

 

The weather is finally looking like it’s going to be tremendous for a day of football out there in Buffalo. Wear your sunscreen kids. 

 

We currently have 9 teams without a loss remaining. We have 11 who haven’t won a game yet. 

 

It’s hard to really trust any of the results from last week when not only did we have the monsoon, but also teams were shorthanded for the Memorial Day weekend. 

 

No word yet on if the Rose Garden has destroyed any other fields for this week. 

 

As fun as it is to have a more competitive D1 top to bottom, it still doesn’t matter because the Legends are still the cream of the crop. 

 

Games of the Day: 

1. 10:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits
2. 11:00 - Puckett vs Tater Tots
3. 12:00 - ISH vs Let’s Get Reccked
4. 1:00 - Coochie Monsters vs Not So Sticky
5. 2:00 - BQI vs ISH
6. 3:00 - Mavericks vs The Malones
7. 4:00 - Bullet Club vs Two Tuddies

 

A special thank you to all of the TSLers who jumped in to help out last week in the worst conditions possible. It’s always heartwarming to see the TSL community come together in times of crisis. 

 

Don’t forget that NEXT WEEK, 6/6/26, is LENNY AND RAMEER DAY! Make sure you plan to stick around and celebrate the lives of two of the most influential TSLers of all time!

 

Don’t agree with what I had to say? Want me to say more about your team? Do what others do and email me your gripes to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

-GF OUT