WEEK 6 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 22 September 2023 13:56

Published: Friday, 22 September 2023 13:56

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 27

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, only THREE (3) weeks of regular season TSL football remain until the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins its elimination rounds. (That’s the playoffs, for anyone that’s confused.) At this point in the season, now that teams have played at least half of their schedules, we’ve come to the point where we pretty much know what teams are this season. And for the four teams that have only played 4 games so far this season, we kind of know what they are anyway - Sticky Bandits have been the same for years, Back That Pass Up needs a bunch of work, Cle-Avengers Assemble have too much talent to not figure it out, and Travis Henry’s Kids….well, okay, we know what three of the four are for sure. 

 

The point is, teams have rounded into form this season, and we shouldn’t have any perceived “GOOD” and “NOT GOOD” teams magically switch their designations over the next three weeks. Right? Wrong. This is the TSL where everything is made up and the regular season doesn’t matter. Today’s “NOT GOOD” team is tomorrow’s 7 seed upset over a “sure thing”, Today’s “GOOD” team can start 6-0 before going 6-3 and losing in the first round of the playoffs (as the collective butt holes of Can’t Touch This and the Cunning Stunts pucker up, nervous this could be them). 

 

Hell, the arguably top “GOOD” team, the Legends, haven’t even started their three time defending champion, Joey Batts, at QB once this season. They can get even better. Sorry D1. So yeah, maybe you’re sitting on a “NOT GOOD” team right now - perhaps you’re Not That Sticky, or you’re a 716er, or you’ve lost your Swaggins, or your Squad needs some Practice, or your signing of Boccio is going about as well as when the Bills signed Terrell Owens - but that doesn’t mean all is lost. You still have time to get it together, it’s just going to take some work. 

 

Remember once again, Today’s “NOT GOOD” teams are October’s biggest storylines. 

GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• Eyes Downtown finally beat the Legends!

• The Freeballers are finally beating the hell out of opponents instead of each other.

• Untouchaballs are still awesome, D2 playoffs looking to rock.

• Vaspian is on top of D3 and it isn’t a Topper Typo. I think. 

• The Family is absolutely slaughtering D3, looking to jump to D1 asap. 

• Travis Henry’s Kids might be good finally? 

• Passing While Intoxicated continues to rally after weak start

• Father Baker wins! 

• Creekers still awesome, claim they didn’t even play last season

• 6 of 8 teams over .500 in D5, bloodbath on the way

• Balls Deep beats the McMuffins, claims the Croissan’wich is the superior breakfast food

• Two Tuddies figured out football again

 

 

NOT GOOD NOT BAD

 

• Sticky Bandits find themselves in the middle of everything in D1, only 2-2

• Jordan Lawson teams combined 4-6, but people enjoy playing for him so it's fine

• Practice Squad wins in D2, finally! 

• The Malones continue to win, but might be jerks, more info needed

• Puckett continues to compete, but are no longer the supercharged team of the past

• Blitzkrieg goes 1-1 without half their team, still treading water in D6

 

BAD NOT GOOD

 

 

• Frodo Swaggins hasn’t played in weeks, league fears they folded

• BAADies hasn’t played in weeks, league fears they folded

• Can’t Touch This gets humbled, finally loses

• Bullet Club, Let’s Get Reccked, Wanderers proceed to go 0-5 last week

• ILF goes 0-2, gets slapped around by D4 contenders, Becca to blame

• Not So Sticky loses to Cobblestone who allegedly only played with 4 people

• Again, NSS lost to a team with 4 people

• Just Get Open bad again, meaning they’ll win the next 2 by large margins

 

And with that, let’s get into this week’s games. 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Legends 31, Sticky Bandits 30

Eyes Downtown 27, Legends 13

 

A boring day of D1 action. Andy Smigiera (the guy who killed TEIM and started the free agent frenzy this offseason) gets to throw for Legends this week and could only muster a 1 point win over Sticky and a loss to Eyes Downtown, putting him firmly in 5th place on the Legends QB Rankings. The Top 5, in order, are: Sean, Joey, Maddie, Travis, Andy for those curious. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) - Sticky is 2-2 but it’s not like they’re playing bad at all. A bit of the forgotten D1 team, they’re getting a Frodo squad that hasn’t played in a minute. Good timing. STICKY BANDITS BY 13

 

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+6) - I know Sticky is feeling disrespected a bit, but it’s become a bit of a “prove it first” thing here. The 2 wins are against Frodo and Losing Streak. They need a win over Legends or ED to be taken seriously. They’ll still be looking for it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

 

Legends vs Losing Streak (+8) - Losing Streak feels like they haven’t played in forever, but it's only been two weeks. I know Jordan has been watching game tape of the first five games like a hawk, and now it's time to start implementing the necessary adjustments. I don’t know who will be the QB for the Legends, but they’re really just out to have fun all regular season and then do their thing in the playoffs. I can’t imagine they lose two in a row though. LEGENDS BY 6

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Practice Squad 30, THREAD 29

The Untouchaballs 33, Scared Hitless 28

Freeballers 52, Cle-Avengers Assemble 23

Can’t Touch This 25, Scared Hitless 22

Freeballers 58, Can’t Touch This 18

 

PRACTICE SQUAD WINS! That’s all that needs to really be said here. They worked hard, and they got a victory, finally. The Untouchaballs are the usual, winning games. Scared Hitless went 0-2, but they really showed up in both of their games against UT and CTT. Speaking of Can’t Touch This, they’ve been touched. Freeballers embarrassed them by 40 points and for the first time all season, they looked like a D3 team that just moved up. The Freeballers also beat the defending D2 champs (even if they’re a mostly different roster) by 30 to stake that claim at a D2 title contender. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Practice Squad vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (EVEN) - Two teams on semi-even footing here. They’re a combined 2-7, and both aren’t exactly having the seasons they envisioned. PS has to be energized - they got a win and from what I’m hearing they have really cool new jerseys. Those are things to be happy about. Cle-Ass is on the struggle bus a bit, but they also haven’t played a ton, which is all Travis’ fault. Look for the Avengers to assemble. Cle-Avengers Assemble by 1

 

Can’t Touch This vs THREAD (+7) - CTT got smacked around last week, but it was bound to happen. They were outperforming their metrics and they couldn’t have possibly been THAT good, right? THREAD, meanwhile, is underperforming. The loss to PS last week on the last play of the game stung, but it may have been the wake up call they needed. They’ve had two one point losses already this season and could EASILY be 4-2 and the talk of the town. After all of the publicity CTT has gotten all year, and too many mentions of “rust” on THREAD, they show up and remind everyone just who they are. THREAD BY 8

 

Mavericks vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+4) - The Mavericks got a bye week at the right time, as they were the victims of the Freeballers “coming out” party. A week off to rest and reset is probably just what the doctor ordered. This team has too many talented (and tall) people, and they’re communicating on defense much better than before. Look for things to have been cleaned up here. MAVERICKS BY 3

 

Mavericks vs Practice Squad (+10) - Same thing here. Mavs are just too talented for PS. MAVERICKS BY 8

 

Freeballers vs Scared Hitless (+10) - There is currently no stopping the Freeballers it seems. I don’t know how this happened. The Freeballers have been so up and down and down some more over the years that I don’t know what to think anymore. Every single time in the past that they’ve gotten me to believe in them, they go out and lay a giant egg. They’re the ex-boyfriend who SWEARS they’ve changed and then before you know it they’re texting “Domino’s” at 3am for some reason. It doesn’t matter. I’m ready to be hurt again. FREEBALLERS BY 18

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Keller Whales 30, Bullet Club 19

Vaspian 39, Bullet Club 29

The Malones 47, Let’s Get Reccked 31

Vaspian 40, Wanderers 33

The Family 62, Let’s Get Reccked 28

The Malones 27, 716 23

 

The Keller Whales continue to be a very solid team that plays smart football, and they got the better of Bullet Club last week. BC proceeded to follow that up with a loss to Vaspian, making them 0-2 on the day with Langley at QB. (This fulfills my contractual agreement with Topper to poke at Langley at least once an article.) More importantly, VASPIAN I SEE YOU. Vaspian dropped 79 points in games against BC and Wanderers and they sit atop the D3 standings. That’s exciting. The Family put up massive points yet again, dropping 62 on LGR who would also lose to The Malones earlier in the day. The Malones went 2 for 2 on the day, winning against 716 as well. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Keller Whales vs Bullet Club (+7) - A rematch from last week is on the docket in D3, after a decent game last week by both teams. We’ll see if Bullet Club learned anything from last week’s loss. Probably not. KELLER WHALES BY 2

 

Vaspian vs 716 (+7) - Vaspian is on top of the world and the second hottest team in D3 (Sorry, Vaspian, The Family is just on fire). They get a 716 team that is stuck at the bottom of the D3 standings, as they struggle to make the one or two more plays they need on either side of the ball to get another win or two. They’ll compete again, but right now it's just Vaspian’s world. VASPIAN BY 3

 

The Family vs Wanderers (+10) - Imagine my surprise when I opened the TSL betting lines email (I don’t make the lines, I’ve told you that for years) and I see the Wanderers a double digit underdog. That’s crazy to think, but right now they’re going through the toughest stretch they’ve ever had as a 40 year old franchise, and they’re getting a RED HOT Family that’s chock full of weapons. The Family continues to run through D3. THE FAMILY BY 13

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids 31, Buffalo Vice 29

Father Baker 58, TMA 28

Passing While Intoxicated 64, Father Baker 44

Buffalo Vice 37, ILF 8

Travis Henry’s Kids 42, ILF 24

Passing While Intoxicated 43, Puckett All-Stars 30

 

THK finally plays some games this season, and they walk away with two impressive wins over Buffalo Vice and ILF. Vice would later go on to also beat ILF, making them 0-2 on the day. Father Baker gets their first win, and it comes at the expense of TMA. The newest gender team in the TSL would NOT get win #2 as PWI would put up a lot of points (64) to beat them, before dropping another 43 on PAS. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice vs Father Baker (+13) - This matchup just isn’t great for Father Baker. The ladies are still struggling with defense and now they’re getting Buffalo Vice who can score like the dickens. Andy loves throwing deep. We say it every game, because it holds true. And in this matchup? He might do it literally every play. BUFFALO VICE BY 20

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs TMA (+12) - THK has been rolling, and TMA has been, well, not. They’re not playing THAT bad, but I’m sure it feels like they’re letting each other down. That’s not the case as they’ve been in most of their games and it’s just gotten away from them at the end. For this game, they should just have Boccio man Pistol Pete, and force Langley to have to use someone else. I’m not sure it’ll work, but hey, it’s worth a shot. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 3

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - A rematch of last week’s barnburner is something everyone should want to see. Vice is looking for revenge after last week’s two point loss, and I’m sure they’ve learned a thing or two from a week ago. THK is going to continue to stick to the plan that worked from last week, and we’ll have another good game on our hands. Vice gets the win back. BUFFALO VICE BY 2

Passing While Intoxicated vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+7) - I want to make it known that every single week I hate writing D4. The team names are too damn long (shout out to TMA) and I’m strongly considering shortening everyone’s name every time. PWI, ILF, THK, PAS, you’re all on notice. Anyway, PWI has found their groove. The offense is humming along, scoring 48.7 points in the last three weeks. ILF, to their credit, has arguably the best defense in the league, and should slow them down. The problem? They can’t score. 27 points per game isn’t the greatest, and in this game, they’re going to need at least 30. PWI BY 8

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Creekers 28, Spinelli’s Plumbing 23

Cobblestone 56, Not So Sticky 40

GUCCI 37, Cobblestone 20

Spinelli’s Plumbing 58, Come From Behind 57

 

The Creekers continue to impress, slowing down the Spinelli’s offense and taking another big win. Spinelli’s would respond by beating CFB in a crazy high scoring game, with 115 points between the two teams in a 1 point win. Cobblestone apparently played with 4 people, and beat NSS anyway, but would go on to lose to GUCCI after that. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind vs Goatsack! (+8) - CFB continues to keep churning out good seasons. Even at 4-2, the two losses were the 1 point loss to Spinelli’s and an 8 point loss to Creekers. They could easily be 6-0 if two plays went differently. They have a full roster mixed with youth and, um, experience. They’ll continue to compete as long as Paul’s arm stays attached. Goatsack is enjoying a nice second season in the TSL, but they still struggle against the top teams in the division. A win here would be huge for them. Would be. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10

 

Come From Behind vs Cobblestone (+10) - CFB beat Cobblestone by 8 earlier in the year and I can’t fathom a way they lose this one. Cobblestone has struggled with their roster for two decades, so it isn’t surprising that A: they only had four people last week and B: they won a game anyway. The talent is there, Darryl is a magician, but they always struggle with CFB. COME FROM BEHIND BY 9

 

Creekers vs BAADies (+8) - The BAADies just started to get into a nice flow before they took off the last two weeks and ruined whatever mojo they had going. Their reward is getting to play the red hot Creekers, who have relied on a suffocating defense to run D5. It’ll be interesting to see how the Creekers deal with the talented ladies of the BAADies. My prediction? Creekers win on a late INT because Garrett is washed up. CREEKERS BY 4

 

GUCCI vs Not So Sticky (+14) - NSS has too many great football minds to really be this bad/unlucky. I was listening to the TSL podcast yesterday, and Mike Thomas said it best for them (I’m paraphrasing here): essentially, NSS is a tweener team. Too good for D6, and not good enough for D5. Unfortunately, we don’t have a D5.5, so they get stuck in limbo, but this is also the team that upsets CFB in the playoffs, so maybe they’re just playing possum. GUCCI isn’t in that boat. They’re a damn good D5 team, and after some rocky weeks, they’re back on track. GUCCI BY 13

 

GUCCI vs BAADies (+8) - A rematch from Week 1 that GUCCI won 44-16. The BAADies have indeed improved since then, but GUCCI is still quite good, BAADies haven’t played much lately, and GUCCI takes away the BAADies’ gender team advantage by also getting 8 points a TD. GUCCI BY 14

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Balls Deep 33, Sausage McMuffins 16

Two Tuddies 22, Just Get Open 8

Mighty Drunks 54, Blitzkrieg 15

Blitzkrieg 49, Pit Harade 36

 

I give up on trying to figure out who is good and who isn’t in D6. Anyone can win. Balls Deep knocks off the McMuffins to retake control over 1st place in the division. Two Tuddies continue to be back on track, putting up another victory over Just Get Open, who continues to be a “yo-yo” team, going up and down every other week. The Mighty Drunks followed up being terrible for a few games by being awesome again in a win over Fall Blitzkrieg, and then FB went out and beat Pit Harade right after. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Balls Deep vs Just Get Open (+6) - Based on how the seasons have gone for these two teams, Balls Deep gets to 1st overall and blows it, and then Just Get Open looks terrible and then stomps someone. Here we go again. I’ll just play the trends. JUST GET OPEN BY 10

 

Pit Harade vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - PH has found their groove on offense with Gordon throwing for them, constantly using Tall Guy and Fast Guy to abuse matchups. PH still has some defensive issues to worry about, but BTPU has issues all over the place that they still need to overcome. PIT HARADE BY 13

 

Two Tuddies vs Fall Blitzkrieg (+6) - FBK was allegedly missing a lot of players last week, including the most important player in Light Red Hoodie Guy. If they’re going to be taken seriously as D6 contenders, this is a big game for them. The Tud Buds have shaken off the rough start to remind everyone in D6 just who they are and why they were considered for D5 in the offseason. They’re starting to play at their very high level again, which could be bad for everyone else. TWO TUDDIES BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Pit Harade (+10) - The McMuffins suffered their first loss of the season against Balls Deep, but word is they were short handed for that contest anyway. They’ll be looking to get back on track against a not too bad Pit Harade team, who are starting to come along, but they’re not quite on the McMuffins’ level yet. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 16

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Mighty Drunks (EVEN) - I don’t know which version of the Drunks we’ll be getting this week. The one that has the dynamite offense or the one that struggles everywhere. The McMuffins are nothing if not consistent. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 7

 

Two Tuddies vs Back That Pass Up (+17) - Based on how both teams are playing, and that the Tuddies want revenge for being the only team to ever lose to BTPU, this game might be a bloodbath that children shouldn’t watch. TWO TUDDIES BY 20

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Are the Freeballers actually for real? I don’t know. I want to say yes. Hogan gives them the right kind of psychopath that fits in with them and they have immediate chemistry. I want to say yes, as scary as that is. 

 

 

 

• Are the Legends just playing with the rest of the league at this point? I don’t think so. I know they’re having fun and rotating QBs, but I believe that’s out of necessity more than anything. The whispers that they wanted to replace Joey at QB have been there for a while, even if team management denies them. Perhaps they’re just looking for the best contingency plan in case Joey gets hurt? 

 

 

 

• Which division has become the most interesting? D2 is fun at the top, but I’m going to say it’s D5. I’m just as surprised as you are. After a few seasons of only having 2-3 “contenders”, D5 has 6 teams over .500 and the 6th place team, Spinelli’s Plumbing, just beat the 2nd place CFB 58-57. All Top 6 teams have over 200 points scored on the season except for the 1st place Creekers who have 191, but they have a significantly better defense than the others. Add in that Cobblestone and Not So Sticky are still more than capable of pulling off playoff upsets, and I have NO idea what’ll happen in this one. 

 

 

 

• So then, which division is the most boring? Every division has its own intrigue, and I won’t say any of them are “boring”, but D1 is just kind of blah. It got a bit interesting with more teams last season, but right now it just feels like we’re on the crash course of Eyes Downtown vs Legends in the final, after Losing Streak and Sticky give them good games in Round 1. 

 

 

 

• How has Breakfast Club been? It’s kind of going according to plan. The games are close, but BC has been mostly chalk based off the draft. Becca/Ashley’s team is very good, Steph/Misty and Mackenzie’s teams have been good but not perfect, and Jenna’s team leaves a bit to be desired. What’s more interesting is how the thought of only four teams with larger rosters would alleviate the issues that arise with teams needing 9am subs more often than not. However it seems like EVERYONE keeps showing up. BC is better with at least 6 teams, so hopefully in the Spring we get back to where we should be. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Has anything been more clutch this season than the weather? I know global warming is considered a bad thing, but it’s been nothing but good for the league. My Weather Channel app says you’re looking at 72 degrees, but cloudy this week. It’s late September. Be grateful. 

 

 

 

• The bar “special” this week is that Woodcock Bros is going to be at the bar from 2-4pm with two kegs to give out samples. Joe K put out the challenge on the podcast to all of the TSL: Get those kegs empty. Good luck to you. 

 

 

 

• Three teams that need a win: Losing Streak, TMA, THREAD

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Come From Behind vs Goatsack!

• 11:00 - Bullet Club vs Keller Whales

• 12:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids

• 1:00 - ILF vs PWI

• 2:00 - Mighty Drunks vs Sausage McMuffins

• 3:00 - The Family vs Wanderers

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• BDD 37, The Dirty Dozen 28

• Steph’s Mistyrious Infection 42, Blach-ur-anus 22

 

 

 

• I’m interested to see how both Frodo and the BAADies do after taking two weeks off. I guess I’m just interested to see how Garrett throws now that he’s had his darkness retreat or whatever he was on. If he’s rusty just as he was starting to improve, it’s going to be a long three weeks for them. 

 

 

 

• Will the real Balls Deep please stand up? No team has played up or down to their competition more than they have this season. 

 

 

 

• Again, Friday December 8th is the TSL Banquet. Save the date. 

 

 

 

• After hearing Mike Thomas on the TSL podcast this week, it’s still amazing that he’s never won nicest person in the league. That should change asap. 

 

 

 

• Word is Topper made an appearance at the fields this week, proving he’s not dead, AND he’s talking about his return to playing. Players are lining up to get onto his next team. The only issue, of course, is that it’s all guys and the girls are staying far, far away. Typical. 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 4 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 08 September 2023 15:03

Published: Friday, 08 September 2023 15:03

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 48

Ladies and Gentlemen and whatever Joey Batts is of the TSL Universe, the TSL Fall 2023 season is already sitting at Week 4 of the season. How we’ve reached the halfway point of the season in what truly feels like “a blink of an eye” boggles the mind. It’s at this point we should really be starting to see the trends developing and what teams are the frontrunners in the Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. 

 

But this season, for whatever reason, we don’t know anything yet. Not that we ever really do, of course, since the playoffs routinely have the top seeds upset, etc. The schedule so far this season has brought us its share of oddities. For example, we have teams like BAADies (6 games played), Frodo (5), Losing Streak (5), GUCCI (5) and Balls Deep (5) while we have Freeballers who’ve only played ONE game so far this season and more than half of D4 has only played 2 games so far. 

 

It’s hard to get a handle on things when some teams just don’t have the same amount of data as others. Sure, the Legends LOOKED really good in their first two games with Sean playing QB, but what happens when they downgrade back to Joey? Yeah, PWI is 0-2 and at the bottom of D4, but they’ve apparently only played their games so far this season without Buddy at QB and others missing as well. 

 

It’s my job to separate what we DO know from what we DON’T, so let’s go division by division on this one. 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits 37, Losing Streak 18

Legends 48, Eyes Downtown 43

Legends 52, Frodo Swaggins 40

 

Sticky takes out Losing Streak to move to 2-0, but the bigger story is that the Legends finally get on the field and immediately squash out any idea that they aren’t the favorites in the best Social Co-Ed Football Division in the world. They won both games with their backup QB. 

 

What We DO Know:

 

 

• The Legends run the yard. All of the Eyes Downtown publicity was nice, but they couldn’t win when it counted. 

 

 

 

• Frodo is just simply overmatched, and might be looking at D2 in the Spring. They’ll be in the 4-5 matchup for sure. While they look to be playing Losing Streak, who now stand at 2-3, that isn't guaranteed. 

 

 

 

• The #1 seed isn’t going to matter. While getting to play the winner of the 4 vs 5 matchup in the playoffs is nice, there won’t be much of a difference between the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th seeds. 

 

 

What We DON’T KNOW:

 

 

• Can the Sticky Bandits hang? They’re 2-0, but they’ve only played Frodo and Losing Streak that was underpowered. It’s almost like they made the schedule just right for themselves. However, they weren’t a part of the “Grab all of the TEAM players” sweepstakes like Eyes Downtown and Legends were, which MIGHT put them behind. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+6) - I guess we’ll find out the answer right away. Sticky is getting its first real challenge of the season (hopefully) against the new look Eyes Downtown. To add to it, they just lost to the Legends, and will be looking to bounce back. I’m probably underrating Sticky right now, but…EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8

 

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - From what I was emailed, these two teams weren’t exactly at full strength last week. SO WE’RE DOING IT AGAIN. Eyes Downtown could pull off a huge 2-0 week, assert their dominance, and sit at the top of the D1 standings at 5-1 overall. But they won’t. Until someone actually beats the Legends at this point, it’s foolish for me to pick against them. LEGENDS BY 7

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

THREAD 47, The Untouchaballs 41

Mavericks 47, THREAD 20

Can’t Touch This 47, The Untouchaballs 41

 

If you needed to win in D2 last week, the goal was simple: Score 47 points. THREAD took down the Untouchaballs before losing to the Mavericks, moving them to 2-2. The Untouchaballs went to 0-2 on the day losing to the hottest team in the TSL, Can’t Touch This, who have really made D2 their own. 

 

What we DO know: 

 

 

• Can’t Touch This is FOR REAL FOR REAL. 4-0 record, wins against Untouchaballs and Mavericks. The sky's the limit for this team. They’ll have an even bigger test the next two weeks as they have a home and home series against Scared Hitless. Anyone who was concerned about their ladies can go eat paste. 

 

 

 

• The Mavericks won’t stay in 5th place for long. They’re 1-2, and yet they have more points for than against. They can SCORE. The issue has always been defense, and last week showed that they’re improving in that area. They’re too good of a team and much, much too fun to not be near the top soon enough. 

 

 

 

• Practice Squad continues to be overmatched in D2. They need another hot free agent signing or something. 

 

 

What we DON'T know: 

 

 

• Is Cle-avengers Assemble going to get it together? They’re not the same team that won D2 last season, and after a rough Week 1 start, we haven’t seen them since. Unless Travis retired from QB after his performance in Week 1, and the team folded, which would make sense. 

 

 

 

• What are the Freeballers going to be? They’ve played one game so far this season, and with Hogan at QB now, who knows what’s going to happen? Other than meltdowns. Hogan is kind of a perfect fit for this team. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Mavericks vs THREAD (+8) - We get a nice little rematch from last week which saw the Mavericks win by 27. This matchup is fun because both teams need this win. THREAD needs it to avenge last week’s loss and show it was a fluke. The Mavericks need it because two straight wins over a good team is promising and 2-2 looks a lot better than 1-3. This isn’t a 1-3 team. MAVERICKS BY 7

 

Scared Hitless vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+7) - Two teams we haven’t seen in weeks return to the fields to face off against each other. Cle-Ass, in their defense, are 0-2 because they ran into Untouchaballs and CTT in Week 1. Now they get arguably the OTHER Top 3 team in Scared Hitless. SH got to 2-0 after slipping by THREAD and beating Practice Squad. It's pretty easy to see why the records are what they are here. This should be a good matchup. CLE-AVENGERS ASSEMBLE BY 8

 

Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless (+7) - A pretty big matchup this week, as the two remaining undefeated teams in D2 (Yes, I’m aware SH could lose 5 minutes before this game begins) take each other on. CTT has been on a heater, flying out of the gate in D2. Everything that hadn’t clicked for them in the past sure is now. It’s been great to see each week when Jeff sends me the results. Scared Hitless announced themselves as D2 contenders already, but a big win here would cement that. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 6

 

Freeballers vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - These teams have had some great games in the past, including PS’ playoff win over the Freeballers last session. Usually, I don’t know what to say about teams that are brand new. But this is a case where I don’t know what to say about two long running teams. Who are they? Both teams have been so up and down in recent seasons that it’s hard to get a read on either. But I just read a stat (in the QB Power Rankings article, up now!) that B hasn’t won a regular season game at QB (for his team) since October of last year. We’re almost at a full calendar year. That ends this week, no way is he going to let that keep happening. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 8

 

Mavericks vs Freeballers (+8) - The George Lombardo bowl kicks off as his current team takes on his former team. And unfortunately for Freeballers, his new team is just a little bit better. MAVERICKS BY 12

 

The Untouchaballs vs Practice Squad (+10) - Jeremy Burr is having a roller coaster season. He looked, well, untouchable to start the season, but then proceeded to be juuuust not good enough in back to back 47-41 losses last week. The issue for UT is never going to be their offense, but their defense is going to need some work if they look to get back to the top of the mountain. This is a good team to start working out the kinks against. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club 42, 716 39

Vaspian 36, The Family 32

Let’s Get Reccked 36, 716 21

The Family 68, The Malones 46

Keller Whales 44, The Malones 34

Bullet Club stays on top of the standings, moving to 3-0 (with three different QBs) after a win over the new look 716. Vaspian quiets doubters (me) about their offensive prowess, putting up 36 points in a win over The Family. LGR finally got the whole gang together and walked to a victory over 716. The Malones put up 80 points in two games, yet still went 0-2 as they allowed 112 points in losses to The Family and Keller Whales. 

What we DO know:

 

 

• Nobody is going to be surprised at whoever wins D3. Once again, it seems to be the most competitive division top to bottom. 

 

 

 

• Any concerns about putting the new teams (The Family and The Malones) in D3 too quickly have been erased. The Family seemingly scores at will, and even though The Malones haven’t won a game yet, they average just over 37 points a game. The wins will come. 

 

What we DON'T know: 

 

 

• Is 716 any good? I’m not sure if they’re just shaking off rust and learning how to click, or if they might be overmatched here. 

 

 

 

• Will The Family learn how to play defense? Once they figure that part out (they allow 38 points per game) they’ll be one hell of a contender. 

 

 

 

• Is this Vaspian’s year in D3? They’re playing pretty good football after an early loss, and things seem to be clicking. Will it continue? 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club vs The Malones (+7) - On paper, 3-0 Bullet Club vs 0-3 The Malones seems like a Bullet Club victory. But, and I repeat, The Malones can SCORE. They’ve gotten at least 33 points in every game so far this season. The other side to that is they’re facing a Bullet Club defense that’s only allowing 21.6 points a game this season. BC is an older team, but that just means they’re smart. I don’t know if we’ll finally see Jeff Easton this week or not, but if we do, the offense will just get better. BULLET CLUB BY 10

 

Keller Whales vs The Family (+7) - Keller Whales will continue to just be that team that wins games, and has fun. With Damien at QB there’s going to be some growing pains, and with how The Family scores, it’ll be interesting to see if he can keep up. The Family has a speed advantage for sure, and they’re going to use it. They’re heating up, and this will be a signature win for this young team. THE FAMILY BY 12

 

Wanderers vs 716 (+10) - The Wanderers are going to take this down to the last drive, as always. I might say that every week, but I’ll be right 90% of the time. Nobody controls the flow of a game better than Frank, which happens with 5,243 career games under your belt. This will be one hell of a test for 716, and if they fail this one badly, maybe they’ll have to think about D4. WANDERERS BY 5 WITH 30 SECONDS LEFT. 

 

Wanderers vs Let’s Get Reccked (+3) - Every game for LGR, even when they were in D5, has been the question of “Which LGR is going to show up?”. A lot of times it’s the fun loving, lets just have a lot of fun team that’s missing people. But occasionally, they take it seriously and really do some work on the field. Getting Alex back at QB was a huge boon for them last week, and hopefully these two teams are at full strength this week. It should be a bit of a fun chess match. WANDERERS BY 3 WITH 7 SECONDS LEFT

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 53, TMA 42

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 42, TMA 22

Cunning Stunts 27, ILF 26

Puckett All-Stars 40, Travis Henry’s Kids 20

The Boccio-Bernal era for TMA began with a loud thud, as TMA dropped both games to start off 0-2. ILF finally got into action for the TSL this week, winning once against TMA and then proceeding to drop a one point heartbreaker to the Stunts. Puckett manhandled THK in a 20 point win. 

Things we DO know:

 

 

• The Cunning Stunts are very, very good, and will be incredibly difficult to stop. Until the playoffs anyway. 

 

 

Things we DON'T know:

 

 

• Everything else. 5 teams in D4 have only played 2 games so far. Three of those teams: TMA, PWI, and Father Baker are 0-2, and there’s NO WAY they’ll go the entire season winless. That means shake ups all over the place. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs TMA (EVEN) - See? Someone has to win right here. I guess they could tie, but I doubt it. PWI has been one of the most consistent teams the last few seasons, and you have to assume they’ll be getting back on that path for the rest of the season. TMA might not have won last week, but they still put up 42 points against Buffalo Vice. ILF may have written the book on how to beat them last week though, throwing away from Boccio’s side of the field. We’ll see if teams follow suit. PWI BY 8

 

Buffalo Vice vs Puckett All-Stars (EVEN) - Shootout alert? These two teams can really put up some points, so it’ll be interesting to see how much defense is actually played in this one. Everyone knows Buffalo Vice is going to throw the ball as far as possible as much as possible. And when it stops working, good luck keeping up with the girls underneath. Puckett DOES have the horses to keep up though, which makes this a fun matchup. And in the end, Puckett reigns supreme. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 3

 

Cunning Stunts vs TMA (+10) - Not the best backend of a double header for TMA this week as they get the Cunning Stunts who have been plowing through the league. While the Stunts were slowed down a little bit last weekend, I can’t imagine that happening here. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

ILF vs Father Baker (+7) - ILF had an impressive first week, and ever since they found their QB in the middle of last season, things have been going pretty well for them. They just lost by one point to the Stunts, the longest tenured gender franchise the TSL has had. Now they get the newest version of that in Father Baker, a team that is chock full of talent, but still needs to work on the kinks everywhere. ILF BY 13

 

Cunning Stunts vs Father Baker (+10) - LETS GO. There is NOTHING better than a gender team battle, as we get the first ever meeting between the Stunts and Father Baker. I do believe FB has the horses to run with the Stunts, and the difference here will be in the QBs. Dave Baker is a brilliant football mind, but he still lacks a little experience in this type of game. Going up against Joey Batts, who has been humming along all year, puts him at a disadvantage. These two teams play each other again in Week 7, and I expect a much better game then when Father Baker has more experience overall. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

BAADies 44, Goatsack! 44 (Tie)

Spinelli’s Plumbing 26, Not So Sticky 20

BAADies 57, Spinelli’s Plumbing 52

Goatsack! 54, Not So Sticky 24

Spinelli’s Plumbing 45, GUCCI 14

Creekers 44, Come From Behind 32

Come From Behind 20, GUCCI 17

D5 had a huge slate of games there were all over the place last week. The BAADies went 1-0-1 as they Tied Goatsack!, and then won a shootout with Spinelli’s. Spinelli’s had a triple header and went 2-1, as they beat NSS and easily dispatched of a Kelly Kane-less GUCCI. NSS would drop to 0-2 on the day losing to the also 1-0-1 last week Goatsack!, who put up 98 points in two games. GUCCI would go on to lose to Come From Behind by only 3 points, right after CFB dropped a game to the Creekers. 

 

What we DO know:

 

 

• This isn’t the D5 we’ve been used to as of late. D5 for a couple of seasons has been pretty “top heavy” with the haves and the have nots. Not anymore. D5 currently boasts FIVE of the top ten teams in the Super Secret Topper Rankings. The competition is very fierce between the BAADies, GUCCI, Creekers, Come From Behind, and Goatsack!. And we still have Spinelli’s right there too. 

 

 

 

• Not So Sticky and Cobblestone are in trouble. NSS’ defense isn’t nearly as good as it’s been in the past, and with an offense that can only get them into the 20s every game (they currently average 17.6 ppg), this season might look to be a wash. Cobblestone hasn’t yet shown they can hang with the others as well.

 

 

 

• These top 6 teams can SCORE.  Every team averages at least 30 points, with Spinelli’s unsurprisingly, averages 41 points already. Expect LOTS of wild west shootouts here. 

 

 

 

• The Top 2 seeds (as of now) look to be advantageous for these teams to clinch, so the regular season games are going to matter from here on out. The difference right now between the 2 seed and the 3 seed is playing an 0-3 Cobblestone or the 2-1 Spinelli’s team with the insane offense in the first round. 

 

 

What we DON'T know:

 

 

• If the BAADies don’t figure out defense soon, they’re going to be in trouble. Or Garrett has to be perfect. 

 

 

 

• As the division with the most games played (34 of 72, nearly 50%) we have the biggest sample size here, so there’s not a lot we don’t really know. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Goatsack! vs Cobblestone (+9) - Goatsack! had a very nice week last week, coming back from 30 points down to salvage a tie with the BAADies before beating NSS by 30. After a rough-ish season in the Spring, where they came on later in the season, they’ve seemed to keep the good times rolling, finding themselves at 2-1-1 this year. However two of those wins were against NSS, so we’ll need to see how they fare against the “higher ups” in the division. Cobblestone is 0-3, but they’ve had a tough schedule so far. It does get easier the rest of the way. If they’re going to throw their name in the hat with the others, they need to take this game. Darryl magic is upon us. COBBLESTONE BY 3

 

Creekers vs Goatsack!(+6) - The Creekers continue to roll in D5, getting a big win over Come From Behind last week. Things are just clicking for this team now, and a big part of that has been their defense, which is tops in D5, only allowing about 20 points per game. They’ll continue that trend here and slow the Goatsack Attack. CREEKERS BY 8

 

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - The rematch from last week, where CFB took a 3 point win over GUCCI, who was without their star QB. Before the season, this would’ve been viewed as a championship preview, but with so much talent in D5 now, these teams are just fighting to get one of the Top 2 seeds. Getting Kelly back this week should be the difference. GUCCI BY 4

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Balls Deep 26, Blitzkrieg 7

Pit Harade 34, Balls Deep 32

Back That Pass Up 21, Two Tuddies 18

Two Tuddies 27, Mighty Drunks 14

 

Balls Deep beat Blitzkrieg handily before losing to Pit Harade. Back That Pass Up gets their first win ever, and they did it by beating the Two Tuddies, which is even more impressive. The Tuddies then go on to get their first win of the season, beating the Mighty Drunks. D6 doesn’t make any sense. 

What we DO know:

 

 

• The Sausage McMuffins still have great jerseys.

 

 

 

• Nothing else. I’m only half kidding, but D6 is a bit of a mess. The current 8 seed, Pit Harade, just beat the current 1 seed in Balls Deep. The Two Tuddies are 1-2, with losses to Balls Deep and BTPU, but they beat the Drunks? Just Get Open looked awful one week and then were juggernauts the next. The McMuffins beat Balls Deep and Just Get Open, but proceeded to lose to Blitzkrieg, who won a close one against Pit Harade and then lost badly to Balls Deep. The point is, like Jon Snow, we know nothing. 

 

 

What we DON'T know: 

 

 

• What’s wrong with the Two Tuddies? Worst offense in the division? Really? 

 

 

 

• Are the Mighty Drunks good? They beat a shorthanded JGO and a Pit Harade team that had everything go wrong for them Week 1, but proceeded to lose to JGO at full strength and then the Tuddies. 

 

 

 

• Like I said before, everything else. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Just Get Open vs Two Tuddies (+7) - The Tuddies aren’t favored, and that feels weird to see. Something had to be going on in these first two games. This game should be a good one. We’ll get to see if “full strength” Just Get Open is going to be a big problem for D6. The Tuddies need this one to get the season back on track. It’s not exactly “over” for them if they’re 1-3, but mentally the win is going to help a rough start to this season. JUST GET OPEN BY 10

 

Back That Pass Up vs Pit Harade (EVEN) - The bottom two teams from last year’s season seem to be showing signs of improvement. BTPU got that first win, and whatever coach Alex is doing is working. Pit Harade has gotten it together after a 52-6 drubbing by the Drunks Week 1. A last minute loss to Blitzkrieg and a win over Balls Deep followed. And they dusted off old The Bi-Polar Express QB Gordon to lead the team. Not to mention they have a D1 caliber female in Ray. Both of these teams look to be on the upswing. PIT HARADE BY 2

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Mighty Drunks (+3) - The McMuffins defense has been disgusting. 13.3 points allowed per game, and they haven’t played slouches either: JGO, Fall Blitzkrieg, and Balls Deep. They’ve played arguably the hardest D6 schedule so far, and it doesn’t get easier with the Drunks, who as I just said are confusing. They were world beaters in Week 1, but have since fallen to the Tuddies (which shouldn’t be a shame, but they aren’t 100% right now), and got clobbered by JGO. Give me the team that knows who they are right now. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Who really needs a convincing win right now? Good question. For me, it’s Come From Behind. They’ve been the gold standard in D5 for a while now, but with the division itself getting better, they just feel “off”. The Creekers had no problem with them, and GUCCI, without Kelly, nearly beat them. They’re 3-1, but there’s a chance if they don’t fix what ails them, they could be 3-3 in two weeks after games with GUCCI and Spinelli’s. 

 

 

 

• Why are people going extra crazy with flipping out on the refs lately? It’s the most disturbing thing I’ve been hearing from people in the league. And I don’t know what it is. I know, people are competitive and they expect everything to be perfect. It never has been, and it never will be. Just accept that and act like an adult when you disagree with a call. Or maybe Mercury is in retrograde so everyone is extra nuts? That’s probably it. 

 

 

 

• What’s going on with Dog Day? Ah yes, the TSL has teamed up with The Buffalo Animal Shelter for “Tails on the Turf” this weekend. From my understanding, the BAS will be at the fields with adoptable dogs from 1-4. Yes, this means at least 3 TSLers will have too many High Noons and adopt a dog. Come say hello, and see what they have to offer. And if you have ANYTHING you’d like to donate to the shelter, bring it along! Have any “non-football” friends that want to come by and see the pups? Tell them to come! 

 

 

 

• What’s the most surprising thing this season so far? I think how easily Can’t Touch This has moved up in D2. They’re playing great. But overall, I think the most surprising thing so far is that all of the divisions seem “correct”. At the very least, half of the divisions seem like any of the teams in there could win the whole thing and you wouldn’t be surprised. No division has any teams that are too good for it (You could only argue the Stunts in D4, but they’ve been there forever) OR too bad for it (even with two 0-5 teams, Frodo is playing is a stacked D1 after dominating D2 and NSS is just having an off season so far after dominating in D6. I’m not going to say they aren’t where they should be). The TSL is better overall when more teams are in the mix, and this season sure has got a lot of them. 

 

 

 

• What’s the least surprising thing so far? The least surprising thing has to be that the Stunts are playing so well. They’ve done this before where they have a great start to the season, and end up 8-1 or 7-2. Or it’s that Spinelli’s finally came back to the TSL and they picked up right where they left off, scoring at will. Not a surprise. They can score with the best of them. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• BDD 50, Blachuranus 20

• Dirty Dozen 30, Steph Infection 28

 

 

 

• The Angry Buffalo will have the following specials this week: There will be a Pink Lemonade (with Pink Whitney) and Coors Light Bucket Special for $15. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Mavericks vs Thread

• 11:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends

• 12:00 - Freeballers vs Practice Squad

• 1:00 - Come From Behind vs GUCCI

• 2:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Father Baker

• 3:00 - Let’s Get Reccked vs Wanderers

 

 

 

• According to my Weather Channel app, you’re looking at 74 degrees, but it’ll be cloudy. Might get a stray rain drop or two. Pretty good fall football weather still. 

 

 

 

• Again, if you’re looking for a new pup, or you know someone that’s thinking about it, have them stop out to the fields to find a new best friend! 

 

 

 

• I’ve been told the 24 team TSL Fantasy Football League has drafted teams and its 5th season is a go. The only information I was given? Topper decided to Auto-Draft his team on purpose, and it proceeded to pick Ja’Marr Chase - Joe Mixon - Tee Higgins as his first three picks. Topper is a confirmed Bengals fan. 

 

 

 

• Three teams on the upswing: The Family, Back That Pass Up, ILF

 

 

 

• Three teams on the downswing: Practice Squad, Mighty Drunks, Come From Behind

 

 

 

• Early rumors suggest that the TSL Banquet is going to be on Friday, December 8th. Nothing is confirmed but I’ve been told that’s the target date. Prepare accordingly. 

 

 

 

• This league has been around for so long, and the family atmosphere that’s been created by Topper, Lenny, and Rameer has stuck around. Sometimes I think that the reason we get people yelling at the refs/management, trying to skirt around the rules, playing dumb about sublist rules, etc is because we sometimes forget that it’s a privilege, not a right, to play in the World’s Greatest Social Co-Ed Touch Football League. Do yourselves a favor and don’t take it for granted. As someone who doesn’t get to play weekly anymore, losing the league can be rough. Don’t get yourself kicked out for something stupid. 

 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 5 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 15 September 2023 12:52

Published: Friday, 15 September 2023 12:52

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1176

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, The Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality has reached its midpoint. That’s right, we’re at halftime of the Fall 2023 season already. We’ve played four very exciting weeks of football, with four to go. By this time, teams are beginning to show their true colors, and we have a pretty good sample size of who are legit contenders for the division titles and who aren’t. (At least for most of the league. There are a few teams that have only played 3 games so far, and then Travis Henry’s Kids, who have somehow only played two games this season.)

 

So before we really get into the updated Championship Odds and how things are going in each division, let's touch on a few teams that have really come on in the last few weeks. 

 

WHO’S HOT

 

 

• Legends

• Can’t Touch This

• Freeballers

• The Family

• The Malones

• Let’s Get Reccked

• Buffalo Vice

• Cunning Stunts

• ILF

• Creekers

• Goatsack!

• Sausage McMuffins

 

WHO’S NOT

 

 

• Scared Hitless

• Practice Squad

• Wanderers

• TMA

• Father Baker

• GUCCI

• Not So Sticky

• Mighty Drunks

• Back That Pass Up

 

 

Everyone else is somewhere in the middle, but they either need to show a little something more OR they may have just had a bad week or two and I’m not ready to believe they’re in actual trouble. 

 

Anyway, onto what we’re all here for. 

 

D1:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Legends (3-1) - At this point, the Legends are positioned to take home another D1 championship. They’re 3-0, and they haven’t even had Joey Batts play QB yet. Good luck everyone else. 

 

Eyes Downtown (5-1) - Eyes Downtown is still going to give the Legends a tough go, especially when they’re at full power. 

 

Sticky Bandits (7-1) - Sticky Nation is becoming the forgotten team in D1. They’re 2-1, losing recently to ED. I don’t believe they’ve played their best football just yet, and they’re enjoying being ignored. Makes it easier to surprise others. 

 

Losing Streak (8-1) - Losing Streak has had a rough schedule to start, so don’t let the 2-3 record fool you. They’ve played well in their three losses, and if they clean up their mistakes, they’ll be a true contender. 

 

Frodo Swaggins (50-1) - It’s been tough sledding for Frodo this season, and a lack of other “lower end” D1 teams isn’t doing their confidence any favors. I’d like to see them add a player or two and stick around D1 a little longer, but I’m starting to feel like we’ll see them head to D2 in the Spring. 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Eyes Downtown 40, Sticky Bandits 26

Legends 39, Eyes Downtown 38

 

Eyes Downtown went 1-1 this week, beating Sticky, but they ended up falling just one point short of beating the Legends. The problem is that Travis was playing QB for some reason this week. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Legends vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - I’m not sure who the Legends QB is going to be. Is it Shbend's turn? Hopefully it’ll be Joey, and we can see just how good the Legends really are. If Sticky is going to put in their chat “I can’t believe we have 7-1 odds!” and are offended, this is the game to prove everyone wrong. LEGENDS BY 12

 

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - Maybe THIS is the time ED sneaks by Legends. But probably not. LEGENDS BY 6

D2:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Can’t Touch This (2-1) - 2-1 odds seems a bit cocky, but CTT has had zero issues with anyone they’ve played in D2 so far and they look like they can’t be stopped. 

 

The Untouchaballs (4-1) - But if anyone can stop CTT, it's Untouchaballs. They’re still INCREDIBLY talented, and they played CTT very well. 

 

Freeballers (5-1) - Do not refresh your page, this is accurate. The Freeballers had two huge wins last week, and for the first time in a long time, it seems like things are going right for this team. But how long will it last?

 

Mavericks (6-1) - The Mavs have had an up and down season, but despite a not so great game against Freeballers, they still pulled out a gutty victory over THREAD. This team will go as far as its defense lets them. 

 

THREAD (8-1) - It hasn’t been the prettiest return to football, but it’s not bad either. THREAD has beaten Freeballers and Untouchaballs but also lost twice to the Mavs. Mixed results so far, but if they clean it up (and you know they will) they’re a fun bet at 8-1. 

 

Cle-Avengers Assemble (10-1) - Cle-Ass finally played a game since Week 1, and they beat Scared Hitless, putting them on the right track. Need to see more from them. 

 

Scared Hitless (14-1) - SH continues to be the team that has everyone asking “I wonder how good they’d be with a different QB?”. Dylan continues to be a steady mix of inconsistency, sometimes looking like the guy who won D2 not too long ago, and sometimes, well, not. 

 

Practice Squad (30-1) - The Squad still continues to get stomped on in D2, despite having the talent to put up wins. Still hoping they’ll figure things out in D2. 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Mavericks 38, THREAD 27

Cle-Avengers Assemble 41, Scared Hitless 30

Can’t Touch This 36, Scared Hitless 23

Freeballers 36, Practice Squad 7

Freeballers 50, Mavericks 20

The Untouchaballs 43, Practice Squad 22

 

Lots of D2 action last week saw the Mavericks get a nice win over THREAD before getting absolutely throttled by the Freeballers. The Freeballers would be 2-0 on the day after they beat Practice Squad as well, giving them an 86 - 27 score in both games combined. PS would go on to also lose to the Untouchaballs, as another season from hell continues to unfold. Can’t Touch This stays perfect on the season with an easy win over Scared Hitless, would be 0-2 on the day after a loss to Cle-Avengers Assemble as well. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

THREAD vs Practice Squad (+14) - At this point, it's hard not to make PS anything by a double digit underdog against anyone in D2. THREAD continues to prepare for the playoffs. THREAD BY 12

 

The Untouchaballs vs Scared Hitless (+8) - It’s going to be interesting which Scared Hitless we’ll get, but we’re going to have the usual Untouchaballs who, despite being 3-2, are more locked in than most teams. The fun Mel vs Jaimie matchup/family battle will be enjoyable to watch. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10

 

Freeballers vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+7) - The Freeballers had their big week, but whispers think it had more to do with their substitute QB more than anything. A big win this week would prove they’re for real. FREEBALLERS BY 3

 

Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless (+8) - There could be nothing better for SH than to prove the doubters (me) wrong and be the first team to knock off CTT. Unfortunately, what they brought to the fields last week won’t cut it. CTT is on too much of a heater right now to lose this one. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 6

 

Can’t Touch This vs Freeballers (+5) - Well, I said that a big win for Freeballers this week would prove they’re for real. And this is the game I meant. If what we saw from FB last week is who they really are, knocking off the hottest team in the TSL would be it. And they do it. FREEBALLERS BY 2

D3:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Bullet Club (4-1) - Bullet Club sits on top of the D3 standings at 3-1, and according to the podcast should probably be 4-0. Not sure who the QB is (I think it’s Langley, not Tommy Hughes), but George has seemed to be a pretty good Pistol Pete replacement. 

 

The Family (4-1) - The Family had a rough Week 1, but since then they’ve been scoring almost at will. They’re too loaded with talent to be anything but a title contender. Terrell Bolden is getting D3 QB of the Year chatter. 

Let’s Get Reccked (4-1) - Another team with championship aspirations, LGR has been in every game they play, and now that Alex is back, the sky's the limit for this team. 

 

Wanderers (4-1) - The Wanderers had their worst week in the TSL last weekend, going 0-2 and getting run off the field. That’s an anomaly instead of the norm, and they’ll be right in the thick of things in a few weeks. 

 

Keller Whales (5-1) - The Keller Whales are a very good team and Damien throwing has been a revelation for them. They’re a small step behind the other teams in the division right now, but that can be easily changed. 

 

Vaspian (6-1) - Vaspian only has 3 games under their belt this season, but they’re doing okay. If the offense keeps improving, look out. 

 

The Malones (10-1) - The Malones got their first win last week, as their combination of deep passing, and solid female play finally paid off. The defense still leaves a lot to be desired, but they’re on the right track for sure. 

 

716 (15-1) - 716 got a huge win over the Wanderers this weekend to move to 1-3 on the season. However, they looked overmatched a bit in their games against The Family, Bullet Club, and Let’s Get Reccked. They COULD put together a run in the playoffs, but will they? 

Last Week’s Games:

 

The Malones 50, Bullet Club 37

The Family 44, Keller Whales 37

716 52, Wanderers 46

Let’s Get Reccked 57, Wanderers 14

 

The Malones finally get their first win of the season with a nice win over Bullet Club. The Family continues to roll, doing battle with the Keller Whales and barely surviving. 716 pulled a shocking upset over the Wanderers, who would then lay a giant egg on the field against LGR.

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Bullet Club vs Keller Whales (+3) - These two teams always play close ones. This one could really go either way, but we’ll assume Langley will ruin it in the second half. KELLER WHALES BY 3

 

Bullet Club vs Vaspian (+7) - A rematch from earlier in the season where Bullet Club kind of dominated Vaspian on both sides of the ball. Vaspian should play better this time around, but how much better? BULLET CLUB BY 10

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs The Malones (+7) - The Malones rely on the deep ball more often than not, and now they play a team that can take that away with the talent they have on the back end. LGR is playing some great football, and with The Malones still figuring out defense, they might be in for a long one here. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 17

 

Wanderers vs Vaspian (+3) - The Wanderers look to get back on track this week against Vaspian. Vaspian wasn’t done any favors by the scheduler this week. WANDERERS BY 2

 

The Family vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - Bet the over. If LGR is locked in on offense, we could be in for some fireworks. THE FAMILY BY 6

 

The Malones vs 716 (+7) - 716 really wants to put themselves on the map. Especially after reading they’ve got the lowest odds to win the D3 title earlier in this article. They still have some work to do. THE MALONES BY 8

D4:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Cunning Stunts (3-1) - The Stunts are 6-0, scoring 47 points a game, and look every bit as good as they’ve ever been. 

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (5-1) - ILF is a single point away from being 3-0 and not only that, giving the Stunts a loss. They now know they can hang with anyone in D4. 

 

Buffalo Vice (6-1) - Buffalo Vice can just score at will. They throw the ball around the field to males and females alike, and when they’re really on, look out. The defense leaves a bit to be desired, and unless they shore that up a bit, a D4 title seems out of reach. 

 

Puckett All-Stars (6-1) - This isn’t exactly the Puckett that won D4, but they’re still dangerous. We’re used to them being 4-0 and dunking on the league, but we aren’t there this season, yet. Sleeping Giant status engage. 

 

Travis Henry’s Kids (8-1) - They’re good. They improved where they had to. But they’ve only played two games and it’s going to be hard to really decipher where they should be ranked. So the middle it is. 

 

Passing While Intoxicated (10-1) - PWI got itself back on track last week with a win. This team consistently improves every season, and I can’t imagine they won’t be better than ever over the next 6 games. 

 

Father Baker (15-1) - Great roster. Great players. Great QB if Bobby plays. There’s still a defensive learning curve, and you’re seeing just that. Give them a few more games, but if they come back in the Spring, look out. 

 

TMA (25-1) - There’s a lot to work on for this version of TMA, and while progress is being made, it might not be enough for this season. 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated 39, TMA 32

Buffalo Vice 57, Puckett All-Stars 36

Cunning Stunts 45, TMA 22

ILF 36, Father Baker 18

Cunning Stunts 53, Father Baker 44

 

PWI gets into the win column as they outlast TMA, who would go on to also lose to the Stunts later on. The Stunts would get a fun victory over Father Baker, as we got a nice gender team battle that went down to the wire. Father Baker was 0-2 on the day with an earlier loss to ILF as well. Buffalo Vice put up 57 to get by Puckett. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) - We’ll see how well THK matches up with the division very quickly, as they get Vice right away. The Vice offense is dialed in, and it's going to be hard for THK to get right to their level after not really playing much this season. BUFFALO VICE BY 17

 

Father Baker vs TMA (EVEN) - Our two winless D4 teams face off, which means they’re going to tie. Realistically, TMA is pretty good on offense, and with FB still working on defense this is a perfect time for TMA to bring one home. TMA BY 9

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Passing While Intoxicated (EVEN) - These teams have had some doozies in the past, but let's look at the future. We’re primed for a pretty good game here between two teams that matchup nicely here. However, PWI was matching up nicely against the “juggernaut-ish” PAS, and this is a slightly weaker version. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 1

 

Buffalo Vice vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+3) - Vice will be a little tired after the game against THK, but there’s just something special that I feel about ILF this season. Perhaps a team of destiny? ILF BY 7

 

ILF vs THK (+6) - Well, I can’t say Vice beats THK and ILF beats Vice without saying INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 13

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Father Baker (+8) - Even with PWI playing better, I’m not sure how they stack up to the talent on FB. I can’t explain it, but I think PWI doesn’t have the girl power to run with FB and we’re going to get a little bit of shock here. FATHER BAKER BY 2

D5:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Creekers (4-1) - One of the biggest storylines of the Fall season has been the emergence of the Creekers, who now sit at 4-1, 3rd in the super secret Topper TSL Rankings, and they own wins over Come From Behind and Goatsack so far. A classic case of taking one step back to take two steps forward. They’re now D5 favorites. 

 

Come From Behind (5-1) - One of TSL’s cornerstone franchises, CFB finds themselves right in the thick of the D5 title race. Their only loss has been to the Creekers so far, and there’s a very real chance they’ll be standing with the champagne in October. 

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing (6-1) - Call this one a hunch, as we’ve only seen Spinelli’s for ONE of our first four weeks, they played a triple header, and the results were weird. They squeaked by Not So Sticky, only scoring 26 points. Then they put up 52 points in a loss to the BAADies. Then they beat GUCCI 45 - 14. I don’t know which team they are, but they tend to be the ones that win 45-14. They’ve been one of the better offenses the last few years, but we’ll get a better feeling for where they stand this week as they play a double header against Creekers and CFB. 

 

GUCCI (8-1) - GUCCI finds themselves in a little bit of a different spot than last season, as they’re now 3-3, and lurking in the middle of the standings instead of winning the “regular season championship” like they did last season. Currently on a 3 game losing streak, things get easier for their final three games as their opponents are currently a combined 3-11-1, and the only team that has any wins are the BAADies, that GUCCI has already beaten. They’ll get back on track heading into the playoffs.

 

GOATSACK! (10-1) - Goatsack! has had a nice season on paper. They’re 3-2-1, and they’re currently 6th in the TSL Topper Rankings. When you dive into it, however, the three wins are against NSS (2) and Cobblestone (1). They tied the BAADies in a dramatic comeback fashion, lost by 14 to GUCCI in Week 1, and just lost a one possession game to the Creekers last week. It’s tough not to wonder if they’re just paper tigers (er, paper goats?). We’ll find out a lot more about them in the next 3 games as they have a gauntlet of CFB-Spinelli’s-Creekers to end the season. 

 

BAADies (12-1) - The BAADies sprinted out to a 3-2-1 record themselves, and after a slow start really started to find a groove. However, they have two weeks off in a row, and you have to wonder if the good mojo they were collecting is going to go away just as they were figuring things out. The Creekers are up next for them before rematches with GUCCI and Spinelli’s. Let’s hope they kept it together. 

 

Cobblestone (20-1) - As usual, Darryl’s collection of athletes and his family continue to let him 

But don’t let the record fool you. Other than a two score loss to the Creekers, Cobblestone has lost by a score each time, meaning a play made here or there and we could be looking at a 3-1 team. 

 

Not So Sticky (25-1) - Not So Sticky is dumb to pay attention to this season. I’m not entirely sure why they feel “off” this season, but this team is too talented and has been playing too well the last few seasons to wake up this morning and be 0-5. Yet this offense is anemic, averaging just over 17 points, which is slightly less than what the Cunning Stunts average on their first two drives of the game. 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Goatsack! 29, Cobblestone 28

Creekers 43, Goatsack! 33

Come From Behind 38, GUCCI 23

 

Goatsack! split their doubleheader last week, slipping by Cobblestone before falling by a score to the Creekers, who continue to be the class of the league. CFB gets a second straight win over GUCCI, who’s having a lull in the middle of the Fall season here. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Creekers vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+6) - Spinelli’s makes their return (again) to the fields this week, and they’ve got a doozy. The Creekers are on fire, and currently rule the roost. They haven’t faced an offense like Spinelli’s yet though, as they can literally score at any time, from anywhere. D5’s championship picture gets more murky. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 12

 

Cobblestone vs Not So Sticky (+3) - Another battle of the winless this week in the TSL as we get a classic matchup of Coronas vs Huggie Bombs. One team is going to get out of its own way enough to pull out their first win of the season. And it's the team with better hair. COBBLESTONE BY 14

 

GUCCI vs Cobblestone (+7) - GUCCI looks to get off the schneid against Cobblestone, who like I said earlier will not be as easy of an out as it looks on paper. GUCCI has too much talent to get this losing streak to 4 games. GUCCI BY 10

 

Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+3) - Spinelli’s gets one heck of a double header this week against the top two teams in the league. While they’d be happy to go 1-1 on the day, they have their sights set on the D5 title and this is the week they officially announce they’re back. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 10

 

D6: 

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Sausage McMuffins (3-1) - Being the favorites at this point last year did nothing for the Muffs, as last season’s late slide led to playoff heartbreak. Even with a loss to Fall Blitzkrieg, they have convincing wins over JGO, Balls Deep, and the Mighty Drunks. They’re going to be tough to beat. 

 

Two Tuddies (5-1) - The Tuddies seem to be back on track after a weird start to the season. They’ve now had two straight wins over quality opponents and look like the team that should’ve gone up to D5 that we thought they were. 

 

Fall Blitzkrieg (6-1) - The temperature is dropping, which can only mean one thing: It’s Hoodie Season. FBK is 2-1 so far this season, with close wins over the McMuffs and Pit Harade, and a blowout loss to Balls Deep. We’ll see what they’re made of in the coming weeks for sure. 

 

Balls Deep (8-1) - What a weird team. Balls Deep is 3-2, holding wins over Two Tuddies and Blitzkrieg. (And Back That Pass Up, but whatever). They’ve also been blown out by the McMuffins, and they lost to the previously winless Pit Harade. I’m not sure who they are as a team just yet, but they get another crack at the McMuffins this week, so we’re going to find out quickly. 

 

Just Get Open (8-1) - Inconsistency, thy name is JGO. Lose two games, put up 110 points in the next two, lose to the Tuddies. JGO is really figuring things out, and just when you think they’ve done it, they take a step back. They get an immediate rematch with the Tuddies, so we’ll see who they are this week for sure. 

 

Mighty Drunks (8-1) - After one week, the Drunks were 2-0, and outscored teams 92 -38. Since then, they’re 0-3 in losses to JGO, the Tud Buds, and the McMuffins, being outscored a combined 134 - 63. Not great. That’s why the Drunks find themselves in the “inconsistent middle teams that are all 8-1 odds” section. 

 

Pit Harade (10-1) - After a brutal first game of the season for PH, things have gotten better for them. They nearly beat FBK, beat Balls Deep, and dominated Back That Pass Up. Not sure if Dave Walter or Gordon is the QB, but they have two excellent players in Tall Guy and Fast Guy, and arguably the best female in the division in ‘Ray’. This team is trending up. 

 

Back That Pass Up (50-1) - BTPU got their first win this season over the Tuddies, but there hasn’t been too much else to get excited about. QB Buddy Lee has a reliable target in long time TSLer James “Hitman” Hearn, and a couple of other guys that are solid but that’s about it.This team needs a little more work to really contend for a title. 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Two Tuddies 44, Just Get Open 32

Pit Harade 34, Back That Pass Up 14

Sausage McMuffins 49, Mighty Drunks 14

 

The Tud Buds get back to form with a solid team win over a good JGO team. Pit Harade makes it two in a row with a win over BTPU. And the McMuffins stay on top of D6 with an absolute drubbing of the Mighty Drunks. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Balls Deep (+7) - Balls Deep can quiet any talk about “are they good enough to win D6” with a statement win here over the McMuffins. It won’t be easy. I have a feeling Alex and Co are well aware of how poorly things went for them in the second half of last season, and they’ll be focused on preventing history from repeating itself. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8

 

Two Tuddies vs Just Get Open (+4) - A rematch of last weekend, where the Tuddies took by 8 points. I think JGO will look better in this game, but right now I think the Tuddies are heating up, and they’re going to continue that trend. TWO TUDDIES BY 2

 

Blitzkrieg vs Mighty Drunks (+6) - The Drunks have been playing some bad football the last few weeks, but Blitzkrieg has only played once since Week 1, which was about a month ago. You have to wonder if there’s some rust on the squad they’ll be looking to shake off because of it. Getting an opponent that’s all over the place can only help. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 7

 

Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade (+6) - These teams had a close game that BK pulled out near the end of it back in Week 1. Since then, PH has been on a two game winning streak and looking better than they have in the past. This will be a big game to see if PH really can stand with the better teams in the division or not. Until they prove it, I have to go with the hoodie. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 3. 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Which teams really need a win this week? GUCCI immediately comes to mind. The D5 darlings from last season are on a 3 game losing streak and need to snap that. The Mighty Drunks are right there with them, as the wheels seem to be falling off over there. 

 

 

 

• Who are the “best bets”, odds-wise, at this point? I’m not going to take the top teams here, and instead I’ll look for teams with higher odds, yet still have a good chance to win. Eyes Downtown (5-1), Mavericks (6-1), Keller Whales (5-1, but it’s cheating since everyone else is 4-1), THK (8-1), Spinelli’s Plumbing (6-1), and Just Get Open (8-1) are all great bets, and one heck of a parlay. 

 

 

 

• Can you give us your midseason predictions for the championships? Well of course I can, I just don’t want to spoil the playoffs for you. The Legends seem unbeatable and they’re not in their final form yet. The Untouchaballs are going to upset Can’t Touch This. The Family is going to keep scoring points as they get ready for D2 next spring. The Cunning Stunts will surprise people and NOT blow it in the playoffs. Spinelli’s Plumbing will boat race everyone to a title. And the Two Tuddies will take home the gold.

 

 

 

• Speaking of gold, have you ever considered getting division trophies? The TSL, back in the old days, used to have plaques that hung up in the Rose Garden with the champions. I can’t imagine the bar will let us do that again, but perhaps we COULD swing something for each division. I think the powers that be may discuss this in the offseason. What would YOU like to see? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  and I’ll let Jeff, Joe K, Travis, and Elmo know. 

 

 

 

• One last prediction for us, best double digit odds team out there that could win the title? Scared Hitless at 14-1. I know, they just had a bad week and looked “not great” as I was told. I know, I just predicted them to go 0-2 this week and fall to 2-4 overall. But it’s not impossible for them to also go 2-0 this week, they’ll be 4-2, and people will remember “Oh yeah, this was just a D1 team”. The talent is there. The football knowledge is there. Sometimes they struggle to get it together. But when they do? They’re EXCELLENT. That didn’t just go away. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Dog Day was a complete success! It was great seeing your photos of TSLers with the bunch of pups and cats that the Animal Shelter brought. They raised some money for the animals, AND I heard that some of them even got adopted! That’s awesome, and word is that this may become an annual event. 

 

 

 

• B’s Brother has yet to release a new CD or a new list of hottest females in the league. He also hasn’t made a Madden team in years. He’s really slacking, but as we all know, the best creative minds need time and only give us something when they’re ready. 

 

 

 

• I’ve heard there’s been more people at the bar this season than in recent years, including new teams. Considering how important that “bar time” is to this league’s history, it’s good to hear about. 

 

 

 

• Speaking of the bar, this week’s specials are Green Tea shots, which can only mean trouble. Word is that next week, Woodcock Brothers will be there from 2-4 with 2 kegs handing out samples. Can the TSL drain two kegs in 2 hours? We used to be able to. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• BDD 48, Steph’s Misty Infection 44

• The Dirty Dozen 33, Blachuranus 27

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids

• 11:00 - Bullet Club vs Keller Whales

• 12:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends

• 1:00 - Creekers vs Spinelli’s Plumbing

• 2:00 - Let’s Get Reccked vs The Family

• 3:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade

 

 

 

• The world’s greatest party, the TSL Banquet is locked in for Friday, December 8th. SAVE. THE. DATE. Drinking, Awards, Drinking, Dancing, and Drinking are all on the slate as we have our annual “wedding without the wedding” party that is the most fun you can ever have. 

 

 

 

• Annual “be nice to your refs” statement goes here. Although I didn’t have any issues reported to me this week, so we’re getting better! 

 

 

 

• I was surprised to hear that the TSL got a second podcast recently! While the TSL Podcast with Joe K, Garrett, and Becca has been great this season, apparently other TSLers have started up “The Roost”, another podcast about the TSL. Just another way the TSL continues to give you fantastic media to go along with the best Social Co-Ed Touch Football Experience you could ever have. Give it a listen! 

 

 

 

• Speaking of the TSL Awards Banquet And Fun Extravaganza, we’ll be getting to the time where the TSL Committee will be looking for nominations for the awards! Best Male/Female in each division, Best QB, and a host of other awards will need your nominations. So if you see someone not getting the credit they deserve, tell someone from the league (or email me about it and I’ll pass it along) so we can get them noticed and on the ballot! 

 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 3 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 01 September 2023 13:34

Published: Friday, 01 September 2023 13:34

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 56

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality has begun, and the time for “dusting off the cobwebs” and “shaking off the rust” is over. It’s Week 3, and the TSL Fall 2023 season is now entering November. The weather should start getting a little cooler as the leaves begin to change color, pumpkin spice everything begins to fill the air, and white women begin their most basic of transformations: large sweaters and ugg boots will soon be everywhere, and yes, they’re going to want to do “Fall Things”. (I say this of course, with the word that Buffalo is going to jump back up to 80 degrees this Saturday, and should be approaching 90 next week from my Weather Channel app.)

 

Keeping with the theme though, there's quite a few things to “Live, Laugh, and Love” about the TSL Fall 2023 season so far after two weeks of play. 

Live: These teams aren’t quite playing up to their potential, but it hasn’t been all bad. As of right now, they can “live” with the results. 

 

 

• Losing Streak/Mavericks: Jordan’s teams are 2-4 overall, but getting Eyes Downtown twice already was a tough schedule, and the Mavericks, even at 0-2, have two 1 score losses to the top two teams in the division (so far). Plus they really seem to like each other. All good things ahead for both these squads.

 

 

 

• Cle-Avengers Assemble: 0-2, but after a week off in Week 2 look for this talented squad to get back to winning football games. 

 

 

 

• Vaspian: 1-1 and got a nice win over Lets Get Reccked in Week 2, should be trending upwards from here.

 

 

 

• Let’s Get Reccked: 0-2, but both games have been without their starting QB. 

 

 

 

• BAADies: 2-2, but way too talented to just go away. A third straight doubleheader this week for the girls, who have beaten the two worst teams in the division, and lost to the top 2. It’ll be interesting to see where they end up. 

 

 

Laugh: These teams are not having a good start to the season and if things don’t change quickly, it could be a long September. 

 

 

• Not So Sticky: 0-3, and have been playing mostly uninspired football it seems. 

 

 

 

• Legends: It’s Week 3 and they haven’t won a game yet. 

 

 

 

• Practice Squad: 0-2 isn’t the start they were looking for, but they get B back this week. Even still, the doubts from the spring have started to pop back into their heads. 

 

 

 

• Father Baker: 0-2 to start, and I hate putting them in the “laugh” zone, but unless they figure things out quickly, this could be a rough first go for them. 

 

 

 

• Passing While Intoxicated: 0-2 already and they were soundly outplayed last week. Hopefully they get their heads in the game and remember who they are. 

 

 

 

• Colorado Mike, specifically, is 0-5. 

 

 

 

• The Schedule Maker: Multiple teams haven’t even played a game yet, and some have their season half over. For shame. 

 

 

Love: These teams are very clearly firing on all cylinders right now, and couldn’t have asked for a better start to a season. 

 

 

• Can’t Touch This: 3-0, On top of D2, and didn’t just beat up on slouches either. 

 

 

 

• Cunning Stunts: 3-0, running D4, and scoring 52.3 points per game against their top D4 rivals. Absolutely brutalizing the league. 

 

 

 

• Eyes Downtown: 3-0, and looking like the best team in the TSL. 

 

 

 

• Wanderers: 2-0 and looking to be a top team in the very difficult D3. 

 

 

 

• Bullet Club: See Wanderers. 

 

 

 

• GUCCI: 3-0. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and that’s exactly what we’re seeing here as Kelly is just dunking on her competition right now. After GUCCI blew that playoff game last season, you can tell they’re more focused than ever. 

 

 

 

• Creekers: 2-1, but two more wins than all of last season. D5 looks to be the spot for this team for sure. 

 

 

 

• Just Get Open: I hesitate to put a 2-2 team on here, but their captain John reached out to me to let me know that they had a rough Week 1 due to alcohol consumption (which shouldn’t be an issue for ANY TSL franchise), and they’d rebound in Week 2. And rebound they did. Two wins in which they scored 58 and 52 points. If this is the team we’re going to see every week in D6, look out. 

 

And now, for the rest of your regularly scheduled predictions and assorted fun. 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

Sticky Bandits 37, Frodo Swaggins 28

Eyes Downtown 47, Losing Streak 33

Losing Streak 59, Frodo Swaggins 36

 

The Sticky Bandits play their first game of the season and win over Frodo despite being short handed. Eyes Downtown beats Losing Streak again to assert their dominance over the division. Losing Streak takes out their frustrations on Frodo. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits (+3) - Losing Streak has definitely played more games this season than Sticky and should be the more cohesive unit. Rumors persist that Jeff Krol’s fatherhood has caused him to neglect his Sticky duties and the team is in more disarray than usual. Andrew Kicak free agent rumors start to heat up. LOSING STREAK BY 12

 

Eyes Downtown vs Legends (EVEN) - Well, here you have it folks, the absolute biggest game of the day. Eyes Downtown couldn’t be more dialed in and the Legends, again, haven’t won a game yet this season. All jokes aside, here is the measuring stick for both teams to see how they stack up with each other. A win here gives them the edge on the #1 seed in the playoffs, which could end up being a big thing come playoffs. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

 

Legends vs Frodo Swaggins (+17) - Things never get easier for Frodo, ever. The Legends will be coming off a tough game, but if they lose, I imagine they’re going to take it out on Frodo here. LEGENDS BY 10

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

THREAD 38, Freeballers 33

Can’t Touch This 19, Practice Squad 6

Can’t Touch This 45, Mavericks 38

THREAD gets their first victory of the season over a Freeballers squad that looked pretty good with Hogan under center. Once he focuses more on the field than on the refs, they should win a few games. Can’t Touch This proceeded to squeak by a “B-less” Practice Squad before winning a shootout with a banged up Mavericks squad. 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Untouchaballs vs THREAD (+7) - The UTs had a week off after a great Week 1 and they hope to keep the momentum going against a THREAD team that’s remembering they’re pretty good at football when they want to be. If THREAD is going to be a factor in the D2 title picture, this is the litmus test they’re looking for. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

 

Mavericks vs THREAD (EVEN) - The Mavericks seem to have the defensive issues that plagued them last season where they allowed nearly 30 points a game on average. Lucky for them, they can score in bunches. THREAD can definitely take advantage of the holes in the Mavericks D, which will make for a high scoring affair. THREAD BY 1

 

The Untouchaballs vs Can’t Touch This (EVEN) - A lot of not touching going on here. One team is untouchable, and the other you can’t touch. Somebody is going to have to touch someone here, I’m sorry. The second biggest game of the day is right here. These two teams are 5-0, and have been playing excellently. This is the biggest test for CTT, playing D2’s hottest (regular season) team for a few seasons now. CTT better bring their A-game. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 5. 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Vaspian 24, Let’s Get Reccked 16

Wanderers 37, Keller Whales 31

The Family 53, 716 38

Wanderers 43, The Malones 33

 

The Wanderers finally showed up this season and went 2-0 out of the gate, racking up close wins over Keller Whales and The Malones. Vaspian got their first win of the season over Let’s Get Reccked, and The Family put up a LOT of points against a new look 716. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club vs 716 (+7) - 716 just lost 53-38 to The Family, a team Bullet Club beat 32-18. That’s about as much info as we have on these two teams matching up so far. These two teams have played each other in some close ones before, but that was with Derek Pew throwing rockets all over the place, and not the methodical progression that B provides. Bullet Club has talent all over the board, and they’re more consistent than ever. BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

The Family vs Vaspian (+3) - Both teams are 1-1 and looking to move up in the eyes of the league here. Vaspian’s strength has always been their defense, and they’ll have their hands full with a fast, and exciting Family Offense. I think this game will be more of a shootout, and that’s not the type of game Vaspian can keep up in. THE FAMILY BY 13

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs 716 (EVEN) - It’s hard to gauge the Fall 2023 edition of both of these teams right now, as they’ve played a combined 3 games, but NONE have had their starting QB. Assuming Alex and B will both be present, I have to give the slight edge to LGR because, well, they’ve done this before. Many, many times. B will still be adjusting to his new team. LETS GET RECCKED BY 3

 

The Family vs The Malones (EVEN) - Our battle of the D3 “The” teams, who knows what we’ll get here. The Malones hung with the Wanderers, and even if they didn’t win, they showed they could play with them. The Family struggled with Bullet Club, but had no real issues with a new 716 team. I’m going to give The Family a slight edge just for having played an extra game to get acclimated. THE FAMILY BY 2

 

Keller Whales vs The Malones (+6) - The Malones get a pretty hard one on the back end of their doubleheader as the Keller Clan comes to town. KW looks pretty good so far this season, nearly beating another title contender, Wanderers. Damien Keller is already 6 times the QB his father ever was, but he’s only 100th of the QB his grandfather still is. Katie and Nicole are awesome. This team is really good.  I’m sorry I don’t have more to go on for you, The Malones. KELLER WHALES BY 10

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 29, Passing While Intoxicated 20

Cunning Stunts 61, Buffalo Vice 33

Cunning Stunts 52, Passing While Intoxicated 12

Puckett All-Stars 30, Father Baker 10

Travis Henry’s Kids 38, Father Baker 26

 

The Cunning Stunts are simply on fire, dropping 113 points in two games in wins over Buffalo Vice and PWI. Vice would also play PWI and would get a close win, dropping PWI to 0-2. Father Baker debuted and it didn’t go as they hoped, dropping games to Puckett and THK. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice vs TMA (+6) - TMA finally decides to play a game this season, and they get to show off their new toy, Boccio Bernal. Boccio Bernal is a first ballot TSL Hall of Famer, and his presence alone should help TMA significantly, right? It also helps that TMA gets Diana Bernal back after she missed last session with an injury. She was playing some of her best football before she got hurt.  Buffalo Vice loves chucking the football. They’re a good team, and have been for a while. They ran into the Stunts freight train last week, but they should handle TMA no problem. BUFFALO VICE BY 8

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs TMA (+6) - ILF finally plays a game this week too! They’ll get TMA in their first go. These two teams met before, with ILF winning pretty handily if I recall. This should be a pretty good game overall. TMA BY 2

 

Cunning Stunts vs ILF (+14) - But this won’t be. ILF is the next team to be fed to the Stunts juggernaut, and I’m not sure if they can properly plan for them with how ‘in sync’ the ladies are right now. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Puckett All-Stars (EVEN) - A lowkey very good game incoming here. THK handled their business with Father Baker last week, getting into the win column right away. If Langley is a bum (very possible), Puckett takes this in a cake walk with the talent they have across the roster, regardless of who is throwing. (And who IS throwing for Puckett? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me!) But, if he’s calm and on point, we’re in for a treat. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 1

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

GUCCI 46, Goatsack! 32

Goatsack! 22, Not So Sticky 6

BAADies 51, Cobblestone 42

Come From Behind 48, BAADies 19

Creekers 30, Cobblestone 14

 

GUCCI continues to roll, pulling away from a very game Goatsack!, who would go on to beat Not So Sticky right after. The BAADies defeated Darryl and Cobblestone in a high scoring affair before they took the loss to Come From Behind. The Creekers finished up D5 play last week with a win over Cobblestone themselves. 

This Week’s Games:

 

BAADies vs Goatsack! (+8) - The BAADies can’t get enough of doubleheaders it seems, and this week they start off with Goatsack, who looked good in both their games last weekend, despite only being 1-1. As long as the BAADies can minimize mistakes, this one should be theirs for the taking. BAADIES BY 10

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Not So Sticky (+10) - Spinelli’s Plumbing is FINALLY back after a session (and two weeks) off. If you recall, Spinelli’s was one of the highest scoring teams in the TSL for about 5 sessions there. Here’s hoping they pick up right where they left off. Even if Not So Sticky can slow down that offense, they can’t stop it, and they just simply don’t score enough to keep up with Spinelli’s. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 10

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs BAADies (+8) - And the BAADies 6th game of the season is Spinelli’s 2nd. This is a bad matchup for the BAADies simply because of how high powered the offense of Spinelli’s is. With the BAADies still figuring out some things defensively, this isn’t going to be encouraging. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 17

 

GUCCI vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - No, you’re not reading this wrong. Spinelli’s has a TRIPLE header this week, most likely as a result of needing the first two weeks of the season off. If these two teams were both on their first game of the day, I’d tell you to take the over and we’d be seeing a battle. But honestly, I’m just going to use logic here. 80 degrees and sunny day, third straight game for Spinelli’s, third straight game for Nick Hawes throwing (I’m assuming he’s the QB still) and he’s coming in cold (Pro Tip for Spinelli’s: if you’re up or down big in either of the first two games, take him OUT and have someone else throw), and they’re playing a fresh GUCCI team that’s on fire? Oh this is going to be bad. GUCCI BY 13

 

Goatsack! vs Not So Sticky (+10) - These two teams met last week, and Goatsack had little to no issue with NSS. If NSS gets their QB there and they game plan a little bit more, they can pull this one out, but right now nothing about this team is pointing in that direction. GOATSACK! BY 12

 

Come From Behind vs Creekers (+10) - One the one hand, the Creekers have been good this season. They got their first two wins and are looking nice. On the other hand, the teams they beat are the worst two in the division and are a combined 0-6. What stands out though is that they played GUCCI very tough, only losing 27-18. This is another litmus test for our Creek Freaks. Come From Behind is just good. They’ve been good for decades. They seem to be on the same page this season already. This will be tough. COME FROM BEHIND BY 15

 

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - A marquee matchup between two of the best D5 has to offer. A potential D5 title preview is right here and this game shapes up to be absolutely fun. GUCCI got the best of CFB last season, but this is a new session and anything can happen. At the end of the day, I just think GUCCI is currently playing a slight tick better. GUCCI BY 1

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Just Get Open 58, Mighty Drunks 35

Sausage McMuffins 38, Balls Deep 12

Just Get Open 52, Back That Pass Up 8

Balls Deep 36, Back That Pass Up 31

 

Just Get Open announces to the TSL that they’re D6 title contenders after getting revenge on the Mighty Drunks from a week ago before slaughtering BTPU. BTPU would look much, much better in a close loss against Balls Deep, who earlier in the day got beat up a little bit by the McMuffins, who find themselves on top of D6 early on for the second session in a row. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+7) - Blitzkrieg took a week off after a strong 2-0 start and they look to continue their winning ways against an inconsistent Balls Deep team. Balls Deep is 2-1, but they’re only at a +2 point differential. They looked great in a win against the Tuddies, but looked out of place against the McMuffins last week. Then they barely scraped by a BTPU team that hasn’t won a game yet. Which team are they? BLITZKRIEG BY 7

 

Balls Deep vs Pit Harade (+7) - If Balls Deep is inconsistent, so is Pit Harade. PH got smoked by the Mighty Drunks in Week 1 but followed that up immediately with a close loss against Blitzkrieg. Dave Walter has been moving the offense since he took over at QB last season, so I’m guessing they’re more of the team that played BK tough. This should be a close one. BALLS DEEP BY 3

 

Two Tuddies vs Back That Pass Up (+14) - The Tud Buds are back, and they’re looking to rectify this 0-1 start they’ve put themselves into. While I’m sure there were good reasons they lost in Week 1, the last thing they could want to do is give away a game to BTPU before a meeting with the Drunks. If the BTPU plays how they did in their second game last week, and the Tuddies are looking ahead to the next game, an upset could happen. But I don’t see it. TWO TUDDIES BY 17

 

Two Tuddies vs Mighty Drunks (+3) - A classic game between two of the top D6 teams (granted, there may be five top teams in the division) where tiebreakers are on the line. The Tuddies need this game more, but the Drunks have looked excellent, especially on offense. They average 42.3 points per game already in the three they’ve played. After the Tuddies offense was non-existent Week 1, I worry they can’t keep pace. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 8

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Wait, Boccio is actually on TMA? Yeah, you read that right. One of the TSL’s more interesting storylines this season is seeing how much of an effect Boccio joining TMA will have on the team. It’s not often a player who’s won multiple MVPs and perhaps the most D1 titles in history (I have to check on that) leaves D1 to drop to D4 when they can still play at a high level. He wanted to play with his wife, that’s his right. 

• How is that allowed? How is that fair? Well, it isn’t ever going to be fair when a team gets a top player, is it?. However, this isn’t the TMA you might remember. This is the third stage of TMA. There was the fun loving, moonshine drinking, talk a lot of smack and lose in the first round of the playoffs after finishing first in the regular season TMA. Then there was the “We got a bunch of tall guys and figured out how to win” version of TMA that was climbing up the divisions, which might be who you’re thinking they still are. This version of TMA, mind you, was 2-6 and finished in last place in D5. An upset of GUCCI in the playoffs notwithstanding, they didn’t add anyone else but Boccio, and were forced to move up a division to make that happen. You know, the division where the Stunts are abusing their opponents, and the QBs are either strong armed, smart, or both? It won’t be easy for them. 

 

 

 

• Well, I still don’t like it. How can you say he should be playing in D4? Of course you don’t like it, because it’s not your team. Nobody likes other teams getting better. But realistically, great players play in lower divisions all of the time. The only difference is that they tend to start and stay there, not play D1 and then move down. Look at D4 as it is. The Stunts are chock full of D1/D2 players. THK has Pistol Pete and Aaron who should be playing in a higher division. Puckett’s awesome ladies could easily be playing higher up. Hell, all of Puckett should be in D3 after winning last season. Buffalo Vice has players that have played in higher divisions, and Caitlyn Mason is a D1 talent. The point is, don’t overreact. Or at least let them play a game first before doing so. 

 

 

 

• Now that we’re a couple of weeks in, which division is the most fun and/or competitive? I’m going to take the weak answer here and honestly say that I think it's all of them. D1 is going to be VERY fun and interesting with the top 4 teams battling it out. Eyes Downtown looks fantastic. The Legends can’t be counted out. Losing Streak has so much talent. Sticky has been in the mix for years now. Whoever gets this title will have EARNED it. D2 already has big games every week. You can see ANY of the teams that aren’t the Freeballers winning the title there. D3 continues to stay close in competition and even the new teams (The Family and The Malones) look to fit right in. There isn’t one team you’d be surprised won it. D4 is a bloodbath with the Stunts right now, but tell me how many times the girls have crushed the regular season before getting sniped by the #8 seed? THK, Puckett, Vice, ILF, TMA potentially, Father Baker, and PWI? Every single team can win that division and you’d say “yeah, I see how they won”. D5 might just end up being GUCCI and CFB running away with it. But if the Creekers are for real, and Spinelli’s goes right back to where they were, things get interesting. And you can never count out the BAADies to score oodles of points. And D6 has a Top 5 right NOW that are all closely matched, and that doesn’t even include the Tuddies. BTPU could’ve beaten Balls Deep and Pit Harade was a minute or so away from beating Blitzkrieg. EVERY DIVISION IS FUN AND COMPETITIVE. That’s when the TSL is at its best. 

 

 

 

• So what are your “after two weeks” Championship Predictions? Eyes Downtown, hands down. TEIM folding was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to them, and the worst thing to happen to the other D1 teams. Can’t Touch This looks amazing and I want to root for them. I’m not all in on a title win, but if they beat Burr and Co this week? Sign me up. This just feels like the season the Wanderers take it. They were so close last season and they’re just too good. I know the Stunts like to blow it in the playoffs, but right now they’re just too on fire not to pick. GUCCI’s revenge tour looks like they’re going to complete the mission in D5. D6 is nuts, but Just Get Open looks to be the real deal. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• This is a good week to be at the fields all day and watch some games. We have some really big matchups this week. Eyes Downtown vs Legends? Can’t Touch This vs Untouchaballs? Come From Behind vs GUCCI? A lot of “top teams in the division” matchups. 

 

 

 

• Speaking of, here are your best games to watch: 

• 10:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends

• 11:00 - THREAD vs Mavericks

• 12:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Untouchaballs

• 1:00 - GUCCI vs Spinelli’s Plumbing

• 2:00 - Come From Behind vs GUCCI (every GUCCI game is must watch)

• 3:00 - Keller Whales vs The Malones

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Steph’s Misty Infection 41, Blachuranus 30

• BDD 38, Dirty Dozen 27

 

 

 

• We’ve got more bar specials for you! This week is a Labatt Blue Light bucket special for $15, and for Labor Day Weekend: Red, White, and Blue margaritas in the pouches. 

 

 

 

• Glad to see that The Sentinel is back, and I don’t know if they got better equipment or what’s going on with the TSL podcast but it sounds a lot better than it ever has this season. 

 

 

 

• Thanks again to everyone that sends me weekly emails giving me the scoops that I can’t get unless I was at the fields. If you have anyone you want to shout out, again, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. 

 

 

 

• I wonder who currently has the best jerseys in the league? 

 

 

 

• Is the TSL fantasy football league happening? Usually I’m being asked at this point to promote it, or did Jeff Krol run away with the Lenny Alba title belt? 

 

 

 

• If the Two Tuddies lose to the Mighty Drunks, you’ll have to  wonder if they’ll have missed their championship window last season and it's closed now. 

 

 

 

• As always, don’t yell at the refs and be absolute jerks to them. They’ll make mistakes. It’s been my experience that everyone learns from a situation if you talk things out instead of being a psychopath. 

 

-GF OUT