WEEK 6 THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 29 May 2026 18:44

Published: Friday, 29 May 2026 18:44

Written by Joe K

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to the midpoint of the TSL Spring 2026 season. While I’m fully aware that “technically” that was last week, after Week 1 was sprinkled in all over the rest of the season, this became the point in the schedule when our TSL teams really start to lock into who they are this year. There is no more “rust” to knock off like there was early in the season. The players that were the missing piece in that “closer than the score says” Week 3 loss where you’d say “Oh well when Jimmy/Bobby/Susie show up we’ll be fine” in the group chat have since shown up (or for some teams, you’ve realized they’re not coming) so hopefully they’re making a difference. 

 

The first half of the TSL season is usually full of random anomalies as teams adjust to new fields, new teammates, new opponents, new jersey colors, new cleats, etc. On top of that, it’s a bit harder to really dive straight into your killer instinct when you’re just happy to be at the fields again, seeing your friends you may not have seen in months, and dopamine is through the roof. Once you add in that this season’s theme so far has been “Waterworld”, where the TSL statistics team has had to measure our “TSL Wetness Index” in actual rainfall as opposed to the usual “TSLers around Shirtless Chris”, it stands to reason that we still have no clue just how the Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality will end, but we sure can see that how we get there is going to be VERY fun. 

 

Of course, there are things that have happened so far during the last rain soaked month that are already truths to the puzzle that is the TSL Spring 2026 season. At a time that’s chock full of uncertainty, here are some things we can be certain of, both good and bad: 

 

-The Legends still rule

-The Malones are for real

-Freeballers finally figured it out

-What A Dump is the answer to “Of the 7 D1 teams this session, who is the only one that shouldn’t realistically expect a championship run?”

-Can’t Touch This is the best TSL regular season team ever

-The Jabronies will look good in D1 next season regardless of what happens in the playoffs this year

-D3 is its usual chaos

-The key to be a top team in D3 is to go by 3 letters (BQI, ISH)

-The Stunts are beyond back

-The reward for finishing 1st in D3 right now is getting to play either the Wanderers or Playoff B. 

-Expect teams to lose on purpose to avoid this

-Puckett is going to look good in D2 next season because what the hell guys?

-Show Me Your TDs will look good in D6 next season which there is nothing wrong with dropping back to improve

-D4 is also nuts in general

-Blitzkrieg and Blue Ballers are on a collision course for the D5 title

-There’s a clear line between the “haves” and “have nots” in D5

-A current “have not” team will catch fire and rocket up the standings, but who?

-D6 is anyone’s title for the taking, it’ll come down to who wants it more

 

In other words, we only know a little bit so far after 4 weeks of TSL football, and there’s a LOT that will be figured out over the next few weeks. 

 

Weather permitting. 

D1

Championship Odds

Legends (3-1)
The Malones (4-1)
Freeballers (5-1)
Sticky Bandits (8-1)
Eyes Downtown (18-1)
Mavericks (22-1)
What A Dump (75-1)

The top stays the same, unsurprisingly, but after Legends gets really fun. The Malones and Freeballers shoot up the charts, jumping over Sticky and Eyes Downtown. It looks like a 4 team race here, but both ED and the Mavs are ready to make some noise of their own. WAD looks to be in trouble. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

THE MALONES 40, STICKY BANDITS 39

FREEBALLERS 35, STICKY BANDITS 18

D1 had a weird one last week. The Malones proved they’re very real, the Freeballers kept rolling, as the Sticky Bandits had one of the roughest doubleheaders imaginable. Until this week’s doubleheader anyway. There is a world where their Doomsday Clock is ticking, hopefully somebody will count it down for them this week so they can do something about it. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

EYES DOWNTOWN VS STICKY BANDITS (+2) - While the rain didn’t help, it was the Sticky Bandits’ inability to mentally count down from 10 that did them in last week while also more than likely carried over into that second game. Now, as we get proof that Jeff Krol doesn’t favor his own squad in scheduling decisions, they get what SHOULD be an even harder doubleheader a week later. ED is only 1-2 this season so far, and the win was against WAD, so they’ll be looking to make a statement here as they remind everyone who they are. Sticky needs a win here to get back on track. This feels like a tie, but we don’t pick those here: STICKY BANDITS BY 1

LEGENDS VS STICKY BANDITS (+5) - And from there, Sticky gets to play against the Legends, who come into this game a little well rested after getting the best bye week ever last week and skipping having to play in the monsoon. It’s their world until someone shows me otherwise. LEGENDS BY 8

THE MALONES VS MAVERICKS (+7) - While The Malones are getting all of the publicity (and deservedly so) about their run in D1 so far, let’s take a second to remember a couple of things about the Mavericks. First off, the whole reason they were in D1 before The Malones? They beat The Malones multiple times in D2. Yes, they’re 0-3 (and more than likely would be 1-3 if they played WAD last week) but after an early season loss to the Freeballers, they’ve shaken off two consecutive slow starts to make close comebacks that just fell short against both Sticky and the Legends. They’re due. MAVERICKS BY 2

 

D2

Championship Odds

Can’t Touch This (3-1)
Jabronies (7-1)
Frodo Swaggins (10-1)
D-Generation XYZ (20-1)
Buffalo Vice (35-1)

CTT and the Jabronies keep pulling away, although Frodo can’t be counted out of the mix. DXYZ and Vice have had some bright spots, but it’s hard to imagine them winning the whole thing as of right now. 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

FRODO SWAGGINS 35, BUFFALO VICE 16

CAN’T TOUCH THIS 25, D-GENERATION XYZ 6

JABRONIES 27, D-GENERATION XYZ 14

CAN’T TOUCH THIS 21, FRODO SWAGGINS 21 

Can’t Touch This still looks like the class of the division, but Frodo made a big statement against Vice before the weather stole their matchup against CTT. The Jabronies steadied themselves, DXYZ had a miserable doubleheader, and Buffalo Vice is still looking for that first D2 win.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS BUFFALO VICE (+10) - CTT is on a roll, there’s no doubt about that. I don’t want to say this is their “easy” week, because Vice doesn’t deserve that lack of respect even with the growing pains they’re having with the D2 jump. Historically, when you get a matchup like this though, it’s hard to not pick the favorite. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 12

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+9) - A rematch of last week’s 25-6 game that more than likely was affected by the weather, at least a little bit. I expect the combo of DXYZ’s smarts plus getting CTT in their second game will help them keep it close, but I’m not sure they pull the win out. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 4

JABRONIES VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+6) - I guess if Frodo is going to be “in the mix” for the title, they’re going to have to pull off an upset at some point. The Jabronies beat them by 9 last time, but both teams have only improved since that matchup. I’m not sure they have the horses to keep up. JABRONIES BY 8

D3

Championship Odds

Interspacial Squalling Harriers (4-1)
BQI (6-1)
Cunning Stunts (8-1)
Let’s Get Reccked (12-1)
Bullet Club (14-1)
Grey Hair - Don’t Care (16-1)
Two Tuddies (25-1)
Wanderers (30-1)
Practice Squad (60-1)

It doesn’t matter what the odds are here, any of these teams can win D3 and it wouldn’t surprise a soul. For right now, D3 is split into thirds: You have ISH, BQI, and the Stunts slightly ahead of the pack, you get the ‘mushy middle’ with LGR, Grey Hair, and Bullet Club, and then you have the trio of underperforming teams with the Tud Buds, Wanderers, and the Squad. I fully expect this to look a bit different in a few weeks. 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

BQI 17, BULLET CLUB 6

LET’S GET RECCKED 45, PRACTICE SQUAD 10

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 41, PRACTICE SQUAD 19

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 29, TWO TUDDIES 6

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE 8, TWO TUDDIES 0

D3 is becoming ISH and BQI at the top, with everyone else trying to figure out where they belong. Practice Squad is in real trouble, LGR is heating up, Grey Hair won an ugly weather game, and Bullet Club/Tuddies both badly need a response after such lackluster performances..

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS LET’S GET RECCKED (+6) - One of the worst names in the TSL takes on one of the best as ISH (Bad) battles LGR (Good). ISH has been cruising through the season so far, although they haven’t really been tested yet, while LGR sure has been. Upset alert. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 7

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS BQI (+2) - Not enough is being said about the doubleheader ISH has to go through this week. LGR And BQI? Hopefully they have the horses with them this week. BQI just keeps winning, and one has to wonder just how long they can keep this up. It ends this week. INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS BY 3

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS BULLET CLUB (+1) - What an interesting matchup. Both teams have played 4 games. GHDC is 3-1 with a +1 point differential, BC is 2-2 and they’re +2. Both teams beat the Wanderers. GHDC also slipped by Practice Squad and Two Tuddies. BC beat LGR, who beat GHDC by 19 points. BC’s losses have been to ISH and BQI. BULLET CLUB BY 6

BULLET CLUB VS TWO TUDDIES (+4) - An incoming fun matchup here, where both teams could really use the win. The Tuddies haven’t really been settled in this season overall, and in a season where mother nature has caused enough chaos on her own, being unsettled as a team is very “not great”. Bullet Club has the roster that, on paper, really looks like they should be better than a .500 team. Sweeping this doubleheader would do wonders for them. BULLET CLUB BY 3

 

D4

Championship Odds

Puckett (3-1)
Coochie Monsters (5-1)
Mike’s Detailing (7-1)
Tater Tots (10-1)
Not So Sticky (12-1)
Balls Deep (18-1)
PowerPuff Girls (30-1)
Cobblestone (40-1)
Flying Balls (50-1)
Show Me Your TDs (150-1)

Puckett is on another level of insane this season. That’s not say winning the title is an understatement, but given their playoff DNA, look out. The Coochies, Mike’s Detailing, and the Tots could give them a run, but this is something else. The other teams that could always surprise are NSS, Balls Deep, and of course the PPG. The other three feel like they just have a lot to figure out. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

BALLS DEEP 25, FLYING BALLS 6

MIKE’S DETAILING 15, COOCHIE MONSTERS 14

NOT SO STICKY 22, COBBLESTONE 7

COBBLESTONE 14, MIKE’S DETAILING 0

PUCKETT 48, SHOW ME YOUR TDS 0

D4 may be the weirdest division in the league right now. Mike’s Detailing beat Coochie and then got blanked by Cobblestone. Puckett continues to look terrifying. Balls Deep got a much-needed win, and Show Me Your TDs is still searching for offense.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BALLS DEEP VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+10) - Balls Deep won the battle of the wet Balls last week, and they’re finally getting on the right track. And now they get the TSL’s version of the “cure all” a week later in SMYTDs, a team that wasn’t quite placed in the right division staying true to their namesake. Just like that, the slow start to the season is gone. BALLS DEEP BY 27

PUCKETT VS TATER TOTS (+10) - Well, one thing is for certain: The Tots will score more points in this game than Puckett has allowed all season. If they don’t, B must retire on the spot. The Tots represent Puckett’s toughest test to date, although the same can be said the other way around. This should be an absolutely awesome game to watch. PUCKETT BY 3

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS NOT SO STICKY (+3) - It took a hurricane for the Coochies to lose a game, and that was still only by 1 point. Not So Sticky is a formidable foe and will give them a game, but I’m not sure they’ll be able to stick with the Monsters this week. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 8

COBBLESTONE VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (-8) - Cobblestone is fresh off a 14-0 shutout victory over Mike’s Detailing as Darryl Carr QB Superstar used his veteran savvy and know-how to win in the elements. Along comes the vulnerable Powerpuff Girls who haven’t been themselves this season. And we all know what happens when Garrett is around vulnerable women. COBBLESTONE BY 4

NOT SO STICKY VS TATER TOTS (-3) - There’s a pretty clear line between these two teams right now this season, and while a win by NSS erases that this week, I just don’t see a path for that to happen. TATER TOTS BY 7

MIKE’S DETAILING VS FLYING BALLS (+8) - Mike’s Detailing pulled off the big win before pulling off the big loss last week, and I’m not sure anyone had that on their bingo boards. The other thing people didn’t have on their boards? Flying Balls struggling the way they have. While I remain confident they’re going to “figure it out” in the next few weeks, getting a top team with something to prove isn’t always the best way to do that. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 10

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+8) - I don’t know how that’s only an 8 point spread, but okay. Even if they PPGs aren’t up to their usual standards, that line might be erased within 30 seconds. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 24

FLYING BALLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+3) - If the Flying Balls can’t pull this one off, they should immediately, as a group, find the closest church and ask for a group exorcism. FLYING BALLS BY 17

 

D5

Championship Odds

Blitzkrieg (3-1)
Blue Ballers (3-1)
Call the Doctor (6-1)
716ers (10-1)
Birds of War (16-1)
Wet Bandits (25-1)
Come From Behind (35-1)
Sausage McMuffins (40-1)
Pit Harade (60-1)
Mo’ Chicken (75-1)
SBG (150-1)

BK and the Blue Ballers are in their own tier currently. Everyone else has some things to figure out ranging from “not too much” (Call The Doctor) to “what the hell is football?” (SBG). 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

BLITZKRIEG 22, CALL THE DOCTOR 9

BLITZKRIEG 20, 716ERS 8

CALL THE DOCTOR 21, SBG 0 (Forfeit)

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS 32, COME FROM BEHIND 22

MO’ CHICKEN 21, PIT HARADE 21 

716ERS 39, MO’ CHICKEN 12

BLUE BALLERS 52, WET BANDITS 6

716ERS 21, WET BANDITS 21 (Maybe?) 

D5 remains absolutely insane. Blitzkrieg passed two harder tests, Blue Ballers dropped 52 in nightmare weather, Call the Doctor recovered well, Sausage McMuffins finally got on the board, and the 716ers rebounded very well from a close loss to BK with a win over MO. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BLITZKRIEG VS WET BANDITS (+11) - The Wet Bandits are 2-1 and have a -30 point differential. I have no idea if they’re good or not. However, I DO know that Blitzkrieg isn’t just good, they’re VERY good. BLITZKRIEG BY 18

CALL THE DOCTOR VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+8) - It took a hurricane for the McMuffins to get in the win column, but they did it. They’ll be looking to continue that success against Call The Doctor, but with the way CTD has been playing, I don’t think it’s likely. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 9

WET BANDITS VS PIT HARADE (+3) - Pit Harade’s defense (or lack thereof) has been their undoing so far this season, and getting a rainout against Mo Chicken wasn’t ideal when they could’ve used the reps against another struggling team. They need the win to get back on track, and the Wet Bandits need this win to keep pace in D5 as best as they can. WET BANDITS BY 1

BLUE BALLERS VS SBG (+12) - I don’t know how it happened, but the Blue Ballers are already up 16-0 in this game. BLUE BALLERS BY 38

BIRDS OF WAR VS SBG (+6) - SBG has been struggling so far, there’s no question about it. That’s the danger of being a brand new team to the TSL. On the other hand, the Birds of War are a new team to the TSL and they’ve fit in pretty nicely. They’re 2-2, but could very easily be 4-0 (their losses were by 1 and 4 points) and one has to think the positive vibes are flowing in that locker room. BIRDS OF WAR BY 7

COME FROM BEHIND VS PIT HARADE (+2) - Two struggling teams meet up with the hopes of using this game to springboard their season to getting on the right track. It’s been a rough go for both sides, and some consistency could be just what the doctor ordered. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

COME FROM BEHIND VS MO’ CHICKEN (+4) - Mo’ Chicken is another team that still struggles, and they just have to keep improving week by week. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

716ERS VS BIRDS OF WAR (+1) - Two new teams who are off to good starts go to battle and this is a game I’ll be keeping my eye on for sure. Secret Game of the Day vibes here. BIRDS OF WAR BY 3. 

 

D6

Championship Odds

Intentional Clowning (4-1)
Irish Giants (7-1)
Sticky Laces (8-1)
TMA (10-1)
Raw Milkers (25-1)
Select (40-1)

Clowning is the current favorite, but really any of the top 4 teams should win this one. Don’t count out the Milkers or Select though. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

TMA 20, RAW MILKERS 16

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING 28, RAW MILKERS 16

IRISH GIANTS 16, SELECT 8

D6 is starting to separate, but not cleanly. Intentional Clowning is unbeaten, TMA keeps winning despite weird underlying numbers, Irish Giants are right there, and Sticky Laces still feel dangerous despite not playing last week.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

TMA VS RAW MILKERS (+4) - TMA won this battle a week ago in a monsoon, so how will they fare in the sun? I think they’ll do a bit better. TMA BY 10

TMA VS STICKY LACES (+2) - Sticky Laces have rebounded nicely from a heartbreaking start to the season, and now look to knock off another fellow title contender. They catch TMA at the right time. STICKY LACES BY 1

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS SELECT (+8) - Select is very good at slowing down opposing offenses. The problem for them right now is that the offense they’re best at preventing from scoring is their own. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 7

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS (+3) - The IC gets a tough match up in their second game this week, but with the Giants being so inconsistent, I don’t think it’s going to matter. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 8

STICKY LACES VS SELECT (+5) - The Laces look to keep the good times rollin’ here against Select, but there’s no way Select keeps losing, right? Upset alert. SELECT BY 3

GF vs GPT

WEEK 5 ONLY

Against The Spread

Topper’s Super Computer: 18-7-1
The Godfather: 16-9-1

Straight Up

Topper’s Super Computer: 19-5-2
The Godfather: 16-8-2

OVERALL SEASON

Against The Spread

Topper’s Super Computer: 55-40-3
The Godfather: 52-43-3

Straight Up

Topper’s Super Computer: 64-28-6
The Godfather: 59-33-6

 

THE TSC’S PICKS

UPDATED TSC PICKS

EYES DOWNTOWN VS STICKY BANDITS (+2) - STICKY BANDITS BY 3

LEGENDS VS STICKY BANDITS (+5) - LEGENDS BY 6

THE MALONES VS MAVERICKS (+7) - THE MALONES BY 9

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS BUFFALO VICE (+10) - CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 13

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+9) - CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 10

JABRONIES VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+6) - JABRONIES BY 3

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS LET’S GET RECCKED (+6) - ISH BY 8

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS BQI (+2) - ISH BY 4

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS BULLET CLUB (+1) - BULLET CLUB BY 2

BULLET CLUB VS TWO TUDDIES (+4) - BULLET CLUB BY 6

BALLS DEEP VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+10) - BALLS DEEP BY 13

PUCKETT VS TATER TOTS (+10) - PUCKETT BY 11

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS NOT SO STICKY (+3) - COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 5

COBBLESTONE VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (-8) - POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 9

NOT SO STICKY VS TATER TOTS (-3) - TATER TOTS BY 4

MIKE’S DETAILING VS FLYING BALLS (+8) - MIKE’S DETAILING BY 10

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+8) - POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 9

FLYING BALLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+3) - FLYING BALLS BY 5

BLITZKRIEG VS WET BANDITS (+11) - BLITZKRIEG BY 14

CALL THE DOCTOR VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+8) - CALL THE DOCTOR BY 10

WET BANDITS VS PIT HARADE (+3) - WET BANDITS BY 4

BLUE BALLERS VS SBG (+12) - BLUE BALLERS BY 18

BIRDS OF WAR VS SBG (+6) - BIRDS OF WAR BY 8

COME FROM BEHIND VS PIT HARADE (+2) - COME FROM BEHIND BY 4

COME FROM BEHIND VS MO’ CHICKEN (+4) - COME FROM BEHIND BY 6

716ERS VS BIRDS OF WAR (+1) - 716ERS BY 2

TMA VS RAW MILKERS (+4) - TMA BY 5

TMA VS STICKY LACES (+2) - STICKY LACES BY 2

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS SELECT (+8) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 10

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS (+3) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 4

STICKY LACES VS SELECT (+5) - STICKY LACES BY 6

 

GAME LINES AND OVER/UNDERS

D1

EYES DOWNTOWN VS STICKY BANDITS

Spread: Sticky Bandits +2
Moneyline: Eyes Downtown -130 / Sticky Bandits +110
Over/Under: 63.5

LEGENDS VS STICKY BANDITS

Spread: Sticky Bandits +5
Moneyline: Legends -210 / Sticky Bandits +170
Over/Under: 69.5

MAVERICKS VS THE MALONES

Spread: Mavericks +7
Moneyline: The Malones -280 / Mavericks +220
Over/Under: 74.5

D2

BUFFALO VICE VS CAN’T TOUCH THIS

Spread: Buffalo Vice +10
Moneyline: Can’t Touch This -420 / Buffalo Vice +310
Over/Under: 62.5

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS D-GENERATION XYZ

Spread: D-Generation XYZ +9
Moneyline: Can’t Touch This -375 / D-Generation XYZ +285
Over/Under: 60.5

FRODO SWAGGINS VS JABRONIES

Spread: Frodo Swaggins +1
Moneyline: Jabronies -115 / Frodo Swaggins -105
Over/Under: 61.5

D3

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS LET’S GET RECCKED

Spread: Let’s Get Reccked +6
Moneyline: ISH -240 / Let’s Get Reccked +190
Over/Under: 68.5

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS BQI

Spread: BQI +2
Moneyline: ISH -135 / BQI +115
Over/Under: 67.5

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS BULLET CLUB

Spread: Bullet Club +1
Moneyline: Grey Hair -115 / Bullet Club -105
Over/Under: 51.5

BULLET CLUB VS TWO TUDDIES

Spread: Two Tuddies +4
Moneyline: Bullet Club -175 / Two Tuddies +145
Over/Under: 50.5

D4

BALLS DEEP VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS

Spread: Show Me Your TDs +10
Moneyline: Balls Deep -420 / Show Me Your TDs +310
Over/Under: 42.5

PUCKETT VS TATER TOTS

Spread: Tater Tots +10
Moneyline: Puckett -420 / Tater Tots +310
Over/Under: 80.5

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS NOT SO STICKY

Spread: Not So Sticky +3
Moneyline: Coochie Monsters -155 / Not So Sticky +135
Over/Under: 58.5

COBBLESTONE VS POWERPUFF GIRLS

Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: Cobblestone -110 / PowerPuff Girls -110
Over/Under: 50.5

NOT SO STICKY VS TATER TOTS

Spread: Tater Tots +1
Moneyline: Not So Sticky -115 / Tater Tots -105
Over/Under: 62.5

MIKE’S DETAILING VS FLYING BALLS

Spread: Flying Balls +8
Moneyline: Mike’s Detailing -320 / Flying Balls +240
Over/Under: 57.5

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS

Spread: Show Me Your TDs +8
Moneyline: PowerPuff Girls -320 / Show Me Your TDs +240
Over/Under: 44.5

FLYING BALLS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS

Spread: Show Me Your TDs +3
Moneyline: Flying Balls -155 / Show Me Your TDs +135
Over/Under: 36.5

D5

BLITZKRIEG VS WET BANDITS

Spread: Wet Bandits +11
Moneyline: Blitzkrieg -500 / Wet Bandits +350
Over/Under: 58.5

CALL THE DOCTOR VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS

Spread: Sausage McMuffins +8
Moneyline: Call the Doctor -320 / Sausage McMuffins +240
Over/Under: 58.5

WET BANDITS VS PIT HARADE

Spread: Pit Harade +3
Moneyline: Wet Bandits -155 / Pit Harade +135
Over/Under: 45.5

BLUE BALLERS VS SBG

Spread: SBG +12
Moneyline: Blue Ballers -550 / SBG +375
Over/Under: 66.5

BIRDS OF WAR VS SBG

Spread: SBG +6
Moneyline: Birds of War -240 / SBG +190
Over/Under: 54.5

COME FROM BEHIND VS PIT HARADE

Spread: Pit Harade +2
Moneyline: Come From Behind -135 / Pit Harade +115
Over/Under: 48.5

COME FROM BEHIND VS MO’ CHICKEN

Spread: Mo’ Chicken +4
Moneyline: Come From Behind -175 / Mo’ Chicken +145
Over/Under: 48.5

716ERS VS BIRDS OF WAR

Spread: Birds of War +1
Moneyline: 716ers -115 / Birds of War -105
Over/Under: 57.5

D6

TMA VS RAW MILKERS

Spread: Raw Milkers +4
Moneyline: TMA -175 / Raw Milkers +145
Over/Under: 41.5

TMA VS STICKY LACES

Spread: Sticky Laces +2
Moneyline: TMA -135 / Sticky Laces +115
Over/Under: 43.5

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS SELECT

Spread: Select +8
Moneyline: Intentional Clowning -320 / Select +240
Over/Under: 45.5

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS

Spread: Irish Giants +3
Moneyline: Intentional Clowning -155 / Irish Giants +135
Over/Under: 50.5

STICKY LACES VS SELECT

Spread: Select +5
Moneyline: Sticky Laces -210 / Select +170
Over/Under: 42.5

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

• Can Sticky Bandits survive the most brutal D1 stretch of the season? Well, they’ve already struggled through the first half of it, and that was supposed to be the “easy” doubleheader. At the end of the day, even if they suffer two more losses this week, Sticky has the talent and the infrastructure to figure it out before the playoffs. Probably. 

• Is ISH vs BQI officially the biggest D3 game of the year so far? Sure looks like it, doesn’t it? Both teams are on a tear and at the top of the division. We’re going to have great conditions for it. I can’t wait to see who survives. 

• Are the Blue Ballers and Blitzkrieg on a collision course in D5? Absolutely. The Blue Ballers are an offensive machine that might only be able to be slowed down by landmines. Blitzkrieg has been fine tuning their game for what feels like a decade and they’re so incredibly locked in. I can’t imagine anyone else pulling off an upset right now. 

• Is Puckett’s defense actually as terrifying as the numbers say? They’re good. Let’s not get it twisted. But I mean, they’re allowing TWO points a game. That’s unsustainable. No, they haven’t played the three worst teams either. They shutout SMYTDs, sure, but they allowed 6 points to NSS and then shut out the Powerpuff Girls too. Not exactly slouches. 

• Which winless team is finally going to give us something to talk about? The Mavericks will when they beat The Malones this week. 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

Breakfast Club Predictions: 

1. Megoonsta’s 22, Steph Infection 15
2. Water Under The Bridget 37, Total CARnage 36
3. On A Rampaige 30, Fittsmagic 27

 

The weather is finally looking like it’s going to be tremendous for a day of football out there in Buffalo. Wear your sunscreen kids. 

 

We currently have 9 teams without a loss remaining. We have 11 who haven’t won a game yet. 

 

It’s hard to really trust any of the results from last week when not only did we have the monsoon, but also teams were shorthanded for the Memorial Day weekend. 

 

No word yet on if the Rose Garden has destroyed any other fields for this week. 

 

As fun as it is to have a more competitive D1 top to bottom, it still doesn’t matter because the Legends are still the cream of the crop. 

 

Games of the Day: 

1. 10:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits
2. 11:00 - Puckett vs Tater Tots
3. 12:00 - ISH vs Let’s Get Reccked
4. 1:00 - Coochie Monsters vs Not So Sticky
5. 2:00 - BQI vs ISH
6. 3:00 - Mavericks vs The Malones
7. 4:00 - Bullet Club vs Two Tuddies

 

A special thank you to all of the TSLers who jumped in to help out last week in the worst conditions possible. It’s always heartwarming to see the TSL community come together in times of crisis. 

 

Don’t forget that NEXT WEEK, 6/6/26, is LENNY AND RAMEER DAY! Make sure you plan to stick around and celebrate the lives of two of the most influential TSLers of all time!

 

Don’t agree with what I had to say? Want me to say more about your team? Do what others do and email me your gripes to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 4 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 15 May 2026 17:19

Published: Friday, 15 May 2026 17:19

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 114

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the season is finally hitting the thick of the schedule. Slowly but surely, teams across all of the TSL’s divisions are starting to show who they are this season more and more. While it’s too early to specifically say “Team X’s season is over” or “Team Y is going to win the division easily”, There are teams in the TSL that are definitely starting to feel the good vibes of a what should be an awesome season and there are other teams that are already starting to get a little testy in the group chats as the early frustration is building. Who is giving off the good vibes? Who should be worried? 

 

GOOD NOT BAD

 

-All of D1 that isn’t What A Dump

-The Jabronies 

-Teams in D3 that go by 3 letters (BQI, ISH)

-Coochies

-Puckett

-Mike’s Detailing

-Blitzkrieg and the Blue Ballers

-Intentional Clowning 

-The Bar giving specials 

-Breakfast Club

-Rocks being put down so you don’t have to walk through the mud path

-Garrett’s Cornhole Tournament this weekend

-Dave Eickhoff teams

 

BAD NOT GOOD

 

-What A Dump

-Wanderers

-D4 Balls 

-Show Me Your TDs

-Triple Parking

-QB Rankings Committee Phoning It In

NOT BAD NOT GOOD

 

-EVERYONE ELSE 

-Ties

It’s true, while most of the TSL is in that middle group of discovering themselves, there’s some bad juju brewing for some teams already. I don’t think anyone had the Wanderers having zero wins in the first half of their season. What A Dump seems more like What A Dud. The D4 Balls teams (Balls Deep and Flying Balls) both came to D4, are a combined 0-4 and seem to be falling behind the D4 championship contenders. Show Me Your TDs are new, but only scoring 6 points isn’t the best look for the first two games. 

 

As always, there are still 5 weeks of TSL football remaining for these teams to figure it out, and all hope is not lost. Remember, the TSL has seen more than its fair share of teams who have started out slow and before you know it, they were pulling off playoff upsets and making championship games as a 6-seed. If you’re feeling like things might be slipping away, remember it’s on you to stay positive and start figuring things out. You can do it. 

D1

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

Sticky Bandits 40, Mavericks 38

The Malones 43, Freeballers 37

Freeballers 42, What A Dump 16

 

D1 has decided that it’s going to be incredibly interesting all of a sudden. The Sticky Bandits survived a scare from the Mavericks after taking a large lead, and nearly blowing it. Now, the Mavericks suddenly look MUCH more dangerous than an 0-2 team normally would. Meanwhile, the Freeballers offense exploded for 79 points across two games, which is either a sign that they’ve finally arrived or the setup for one of the funniest emotional collapses in TSL history. The Malones, however, don’t care about any of that because they currently look like they can score on literally anybody. A lot of people talked about them coming into D1, but now they’ve got everyone’s attention. What A Dump, on the other hand, desperately needs some help before this spirals into a full blown season from hell where they’re the only uninteresting team in D1.

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

EYES DOWNTOWN vs WHAT A DUMP (+4) - Eyes Downtown had a tough first two games, and then didn’t play for a week, and now they’re suddenly the least talked about D1 team for the first time in 100 years. All of that will change here as they get a win over a reeling WAD team who needs to figure something out fast. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8

LEGENDS vs THE MALONES (EVEN) - HERE. WE. GO. Hey Malones, if you’re actually for real, here’s your chance to show the world. A classic matchup of the hot new upstart team stepping up to the veteran champs as they try to take them out. The Legends will have an extra chip on their shoulder for them to see that they’re “even” with The Malones. They won’t stand for the disrespect. LEGENDS BY 7

LEGENDS vs MAVERICKS (+8) - The Mavericks just missed out on a big comeback win against Sticky, so the only natural follow up to that is going to be taking a swing at the Legends. It doesn’t hurt that they get them on the backend of what should be a hard fought emotional game against The Malones either. It’s going to be close, but the Mavs have to prove a little more before I pick them to win. LEGENDS BY 3

 

D2

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

Jabronies 41, D-Generation XYZ 14

The Jabronies made a massive statement by dismantling D-Generation XYZ and they look like the team to beat, even if that can change at a moment’s notice. They DID lose to CTT after all, and they get a chance to rectify that situation this week. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BUFFALO VICE vs JABRONIES (-8) - Hey Buffalo Vice, here’s your chance to prove you belong in D2. A doubleheader starting with the Jabronies is a good measuring stick. JABRONIES BY 14

BUFFALO VICE vs CAN’T TOUCH THIS (-6) - And the second game for VIce is a game against a very, very good CTT team who MIGHT be looking ahead to the rematch with the Jabronies, but It’s hard to go against them right now. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

CAN’T TOUCH THIS vs JABRONIES (-2) - Game of the Day potential in a TSL schedule loaded with them. CTT got the win against the Jabs two weeks ago, and now it’s the Jabronies turn to even the season series. JABRONIES BY 3

D-GENERATION XYZ vs FRODO SWAGGINS (EVEN) - Last season we had Frodo in D1 and DXYZ in D3. Now they’re both in D2 and they’re apparently even with each other. Both teams could really use the victory to get their season back on track, but it’s a coin flip on who is going to do that. D-GENERATION XYZ BY 6

 

D3

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

ISH 50, Wanderers 20

Bullet Club 35, Wanderers 14

BQI 34, Let’s Get Reccked 19

Cunning Stunts 53, Two Tuddies 38

Grey Hair – Don’t Care 35, Practice Squad 29

D3 has completely abandoned logic. The Wanderers came into the season with the usual expectations and instead have become the league’s biggest disappointment sitting at 0-3-1 while simultaneously still feeling dangerous enough that they could go on a run. BQI looks too good to be true after jumping two divisions and immediately smashing everyone in front of them, while ISH dropped FIFTY on the Wanderers and now feels like one of the fastest rising teams in the entire TSL. Cunning Stunts continue to be awesome, and Practice Squad suddenly finds themselves near the bottom of the standings after getting obliterated by BQI and then losing to Grey Hair. Bullet Club also dominated the Wanderers last week and they find themselves near the top of the division as well. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BQI vs WANDERERS (+2) - This is a classic matchup of the hottest team in the division playing the current “tire fire” of the division. 2 points feels insane to me right now, but I guess Vegas is just giving the Wanderers their respect. BQI BY 12

GREY HAIR – DON’T CARE vs WANDERERS (-3) - Another doubleheader for the Wanderers as the schedule isn’t doing them any favors. It feels impossible to predict two losses for them, but like, GREY HAIR DONT CARE BY 2

GREY HAIR – DON’T CARE vs LET’S GET RECCKED (+2) - LGR has lost two games, but they very easily could be 2-0. The advanced metrics show that they’re better than it seems. As for Grey Hair, they got a good win over Practice Squad and getting a win here will put them on the right track to compete for the D3 title. But D3 is chaos. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 4

CUNNING STUNTS vs PRACTICE SQUAD (+1) - The Squad is off to a rough start, but they can turn it on at any moment. I’m just not sure this week is that moment. The Stunts are looking good so far this season, and that tie with the Wanderers might look like the most confusing final when the season ends. CUNNING STUNTS BY 13

CUNNING STUNTS vs ISH (-3) - Another great game this week where two of the hottest teams in the TSL take each other on here. ISH has been impressive so far, and they’ve yet to show a reason to think otherwise. INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS BY 1

BULLET CLUB vs TWO TUDDIES (+2) - The Tud Buds hit a snag last week against the Stunts, while Bullet Club had a fairly easy time against the Wanderers. This feels like a game where one team needs it a little bit more and they’ll get it. TWO TUDDIES BY 8

 

D4

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

Coochie Monsters 48, Flying Balls 32

Not So Sticky 31, Show Me Your TDs 6

Not So Sticky 34, PowerPuff Girls 34

Puckett 46, PowerPuff Girls 0

Mike’s Detailing 44, Tater Tots 35

D4 has somehow become even MORE chaotic than usual, which honestly shouldn’t be possible. The Coochie Monsters are undefeated and sitting at the top of the standings, while Puckett looks absolutely fantastic after allowing only 6 total points through two games, including a shutout of the Powerpuff Girls, which might be a first in TSL history. Mike’s Detailing also looks like the real deal after knocking off the Tater Tots in a shootout, while Flying Balls have officially started to enter panic territory after an 0-2 start. Not So Sticky followed up a brutal beating in Week 2 by immediately looking competent again with a win over SMYTDs but also tying the PPGs.

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BALLS DEEP vs COBBLESTONE (+7) - Okay Balls Deep, here’s your “get right” game. Struggling against Darryl Carr QB Superstar wouldn’t be surprising considering that there is still some magic in that golden arm, but if you’re going to compete in D4, you have to win this game. BALLS DEEP BY 3

COOCHIE MONSTERS vs TATER TOTS (-3) - The Tots are favored in this game, but i’m not sure that should be the case. The Coochie Monsters have been one of the TSL’s biggest stories so far this season, and they seem like they can do no wrong. However, they haven’t played anyone that’s won a game yet, and this is their first real test. The Tots have to be favored for a reason. TATER TOTS BY 3

POWERPUFF GIRLS vs TATER TOTS (-6) - The PPGs sit at 1-1-1 and it’s been difficult to really figure out who this team is. But the bones of this franchise are strong, and there’s ZERO way they’re going to let getting shutout slide. Look for the bounce back. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 5

FLYING BALLS vs SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+14) - Well, if the Flying Balls lose this one, D5 might be in their future. However, they did show some moxie in the battle with the Coochies last week, and it feels like it’s only a matter of time before things start to click for them. Right? SMYTDs is having quite the time figuring out the offensive side of things, but these things take time for new teams to learn. FLYING BALLS BY 15

POWERPUFF GIRLS vs SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+16) - And if there’s anything harder to figure out in the TSL for a new team than how to play against a gender team, I’d like to hear it. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 20

D5

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

Blitzkrieg 42, SBG 6

Call the Doctor 37, Pit Harade 8

Blue Ballers 51, Sausage McMuffins 30

Wet Bandits 26, Birds of War 22

D5 may already have turned into an arms race. Blitzkrieg and Blue Ballers both look completely awesome offensively, and there’s already growing chatter that the Blue Ballers may have needed to move up another division entirely. Blitzkrieg continues looking like a team that’s eventually going to bulldoze their way upward if they can finally avoid one of their annual late season disasters, while Call the Doctor immediately showed up looking polished and dangerous despite not even playing until Week 3. Wet Bandits quietly remain undefeated after knocking off Birds of War, while 716ers now gets the chance to prove they’re legitimate against both SBG and Wet Bandits. Meanwhile, Mo’ Chicken, Pit Harade, and SBG are all dangerously close to falling into an early season hole that’s hard to climb out of in a division this deep.

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BLITZKRIEG vs SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+12) - What used to be a marquee D6 matchup has lost its luster a little bit in D5 as these two teams have gone in different directions. The McMuffins will surely give BK a good game, but I don’t think they can hang with them overall. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

CALL THE DOCTOR vs COME FROM BEHIND (+8) - CTD had a good start to their existence with a thrashing of Pit Harade last week, and now they get a CFB team who had a rough start to the season. Feels like a battle of two teams going opposite ways. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 8

BIRDS OF WAR vs SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+6) - BOW let a game against the Wet Bandits slip away, but they find themselves in a good position at 1-1 with two close games. Whatever they’re doing, it’s working. BIRDS OF WAR BY 3

BLUE BALLERS vs PIT HARADE (+10) - The Blue Ballers are scoring at a VERY high pace, and I don’t think Pit Harade, or anyone in D5 except for maybe Blitzkrieg, can keep pace with them. BLUE BALLERS BY 17

BIRDS OF WAR vs COME FROM BEHIND (+3) - BOW gets a doubleheader, and this one SHOULD be tougher than the earlier game. I think a bit of veteran TSL knowhow gets CFB a much needed win. COME FROM BEHIND BY 6

CALL THE DOCTOR vs MO’ CHICKEN (+14) - Mo Chicken didn’t have the best start to the season, and their struggles on offense aren’t going to be magically fixed already. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 14

716ERS vs SBG (+9) - A tale of two new teams who look very different. 716ers pulled out a nice win in their first game, while SBG is struggling to score points at all. It looks to be a bit of a tough first year for SBG. 716ERS BY 10

716ERS vs WET BANDITS (-2) - A tale of two new teams who look similar. Both teams are undefeated so far in this young season, and this should be a good game. The Wet Bandits have been quite impressive so far and they keep the train rolling. WET BANDITS BY 7

BLUE BALLERS vs MO’ CHICKEN (+18) - Oh my. BLUE BALLERS BY 30

 

D6

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

Intentional Clowning 23, Sticky Laces 22

TMA 28, Select 27

Sticky Laces 21, Irish Giants 6

Raw Milkers 26, Select 23

Irish Giants 44, Raw Milkers 12

D6 remains one of the weirdest divisions in football because absolutely nobody makes any sense from week to week. Intentional Clowning is definitely a legitimate contender after surviving another close game, while the Irish Giants somehow followed up a loss to Sticky Laces by immediately dropping 44 points on Raw Milkers. Sticky Laces may be the most emotionally damaged team in the TSL already, because despite being 1-2 they actually have a positive point differential and probably feel like they should’ve won all three games. TMA bounced back nicely after getting embarrassed by Clowning, while Select had some heartbreak of their own losing by 1 and then by 3 as well. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

IRISH GIANTS vs TMA (+4) - I have no idea who these teams are and who they want to be. Neither do they. That could mean we get a blowout, or we get a really good game. I want to believe this will be a good game. IRISH GIANTS BY 2

SELECT vs STICKY LACES (-1) - Realistically, these teams have combined for 4 losses, and they have all been between 1-3 points. Both are trying to be the sad, heartbroken team which means they’re more than likely going to tie. But we don’t pick that here. STICKY LACES BY 1

RAW MILKERS vs STICKY LACES (-3) - The Raw Milkers have been all over the map so far in their existence, much less this season. Some consistency needs to be on the horizon for them at some point. Sticky Laces are exactly that. STICKY LACES BY 2

 

GF VS GPT

 

LAST WEEK:

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper’s Super Computer: 11-13

The Godfather: 13-11

STRAIGHT UP

Topper’s Super Computer: 14-10

The Godfather: 16-8

OVERALL SEASON:

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper’s Super Computer: 23-25

The Godfather: 23-25

STRAIGHT UP

Topper’s Super Computer: 27-21

The Godfather: 29-19

 

Man is currently defeating machine. 

 

Here are the Topper Super Computer’s Predictions: 

D1

EYES DOWNTOWN vs WHAT A DUMP (+4) — EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

LEGENDS vs THE MALONES (EVEN) — LEGENDS BY 3

LEGENDS vs MAVERICKS (+8) — LEGENDS BY 12

 

D2

BUFFALO VICE vs JABRONIES (-8) — JABRONIES BY 10

BUFFALO VICE vs CAN’T TOUCH THIS (-6) — CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 7

CAN’T TOUCH THIS vs JABRONIES (-2) — JABRONIES BY 4

D-GENERATION XYZ vs FRODO SWAGGINS (EVEN) — D-GENERATION XYZ BY 6

D3

BQI vs WANDERERS (+2) — BQI BY 8

GREY HAIR – DON’T CARE vs WANDERERS (-3) — WANDERERS BY 2

GREY HAIR – DON’T CARE vs LET’S GET RECCKED (+2) — LET’S GET RECCKED BY 3

CUNNING STUNTS vs PRACTICE SQUAD (+1) — CUNNING STUNTS BY 6

CUNNING STUNTS vs ISH (-3) — ISH BY 5

BULLET CLUB vs TWO TUDDIES (+2) — BULLET CLUB BY 1

D4

BALLS DEEP vs COBBLESTONE (+7) — BALLS DEEP BY 14

COOCHIE MONSTERS vs TATER TOTS (-3) — COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 4

POWERPUFF GIRLS vs TATER TOTS (-6) — TATER TOTS BY 8

FLYING BALLS vs SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+14) — FLYING BALLS BY 17

POWERPUFF GIRLS vs SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+16) — POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 20

D5

BLITZKRIEG vs SAUSAGE McMUFFINS (+12) — BLITZKRIEG BY 16

CALL THE DOCTOR vs COME FROM BEHIND (+8) — CALL THE DOCTOR BY 10

BIRDS OF WAR vs SAUSAGE McMUFFINS (+6) — BIRDS OF WAR BY 7

BLUE BALLERS vs PIT HARADE (+10) — BLUE BALLERS BY 18

BIRDS OF WAR vs COME FROM BEHIND (+3) — BIRDS OF WAR BY 6

CALL THE DOCTOR vs MO’ CHICKEN (+14) — CALL THE DOCTOR BY 21

716ERS vs SBG (+9) — 716ERS BY 13

716ERS vs WET BANDITS (-2) — WET BANDITS BY 3

BLUE BALLERS vs MO’ CHICKEN (+18) — BLUE BALLERS BY 24

D6

IRISH GIANTS vs TMA (+4) — IRISH GIANTS BY 6

SELECT vs STICKY LACES (-1) — STICKY LACES BY 4

RAW MILKERS vs STICKY LACES (-3) — STICKY LACES BY 7

 

GAME LINES AND OVER/UNDERS

D1

Eyes Downtown vs What A Dump

Spread: What A Dump +4
Moneyline: Eyes Downtown -185 / What A Dump +155
Over/Under: 68.5

Legends vs The Malones

Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: Legends -110 / The Malones -110
Over/Under: 74.5

Legends vs Mavericks

Spread: Mavericks +8
Moneyline: Legends -360 / Mavericks +260
Over/Under: 71.5

 

D2

Buffalo Vice vs Jabronies

Spread: Jabronies -8
Moneyline: Jabronies -340 / Buffalo Vice +250
Over/Under: 69.5

Buffalo Vice vs Can’t Touch This

Spread: Can’t Touch This -6
Moneyline: Can’t Touch This -240 / Buffalo Vice +190
Over/Under: 66.5

Can’t Touch This vs Jabronies

Spread: Jabronies -2
Moneyline: Jabronies -135 / Can’t Touch This +115
Over/Under: 71.5

D-Generation XYZ vs Frodo Swaggins

Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: D-Generation XYZ -110 / Frodo Swaggins -110
Over/Under: 64.5

 

D3

BQI vs Wanderers

Spread: Wanderers +2
Moneyline: BQI -130 / Wanderers +110
Over/Under: 73.5

Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs Wanderers

Spread: Wanderers -3
Moneyline: Wanderers -155 / GHDC +135
Over/Under: 67.5

Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs Let’s Get Reccked

Spread: Let’s Get Reccked +2
Moneyline: GHDC -130 / LGR +110
Over/Under: 65.5

Cunning Stunts vs Practice Squad

Spread: Practice Squad +1
Moneyline: Cunning Stunts -120 / Practice Squad EVEN
Over/Under: 76.5

Cunning Stunts vs ISH

Spread: ISH -3
Moneyline: ISH -155 / Cunning Stunts +135
Over/Under: 78.5

Bullet Club vs Two Tuddies

Spread: Two Tuddies +2
Moneyline: Bullet Club -130 / Two Tuddies +110
Over/Under: 74.5

 

D4

Balls Deep vs Cobblestone

Spread: Cobblestone +7
Moneyline: Balls Deep -280 / Cobblestone +220
Over/Under: 59.5

Coochie Monsters vs Tater Tots

Spread: Tater Tots +3
Moneyline: Coochie Monsters -155 / Tater Tots +135
Over/Under: 69.5

PowerPuff Girls vs Tater Tots

Spread: Tater Tots -6
Moneyline: Tater Tots -240 / PowerPuff Girls +190
Over/Under: 61.5

Flying Balls vs Show Me Your TDs

Spread: Show Me Your TDs +14
Moneyline: Flying Balls -700 / SMYTDs +475
Over/Under: 57.5

PowerPuff Girls vs Show Me Your TDs

Spread: Show Me Your TDs +16
Moneyline: PowerPuff Girls -850 / SMYTDs +550
Over/Under: 55.5

 

D5

Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins

Spread: Sausage McMuffins +12
Moneyline: Blitzkrieg -650 / Sausage McMuffins +450
Over/Under: 74.5

Call The Doctor vs Come From Behind

Spread: Come From Behind +8
Moneyline: Call The Doctor -340 / Come From Behind +250
Over/Under: 63.5

Birds Of War vs Sausage McMuffins

Spread: Sausage McMuffins +6
Moneyline: Birds Of War -240 / Sausage McMuffins +190
Over/Under: 68.5

Blue Ballers vs Pit Harade

Spread: Pit Harade +10
Moneyline: Blue Ballers -450 / Pit Harade +320
Over/Under: 77.5

Birds Of War vs Come From Behind

Spread: Come From Behind +3
Moneyline: Birds Of War -155 / Come From Behind +135
Over/Under: 64.5

Call The Doctor vs Mo’ Chicken

Spread: Mo’ Chicken +14
Moneyline: Call The Doctor -700 / Mo’ Chicken +475
Over/Under: 66.5

716ers vs SBG

Spread: SBG +9
Moneyline: 716ers -375 / SBG +260
Over/Under: 61.5

716ers vs Wet Bandits

Spread: Wet Bandits -2
Moneyline: Wet Bandits -135 / 716ers +115
Over/Under: 65.5

Blue Ballers vs Mo’ Chicken

Spread: Mo’ Chicken +18
Moneyline: Blue Ballers -1200 / Mo’ Chicken +700
Over/Under: 79.5

D6

Irish Giants vs TMA

Spread: TMA +4
Moneyline: Irish Giants -185 / TMA +155
Over/Under: 60.5

Select vs Sticky Laces

Spread: Sticky Laces -1
Moneyline: Sticky Laces -120 / Select EVEN
Over/Under: 58.5

Raw Milkers vs Sticky Laces

Spread: Sticky Laces -3
Moneyline: Sticky Laces -155 / Raw Milkers +135
Over/Under: 62.5

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• ARE THE WANDERERS IN REAL TROUBLE? In a word? Yes. The roster “replacements” for this season aren’t nearly as talented as what left them, and even with the usual superstars on the roster, it looks like this may be too much to overcome. Which means they’ll win the whole damn thing. 

 

 

 

• ARE THE MALONES ACTUALLY THE BEST TEAM IN D1? Let’s pump the brakes here for a second. They’re really good. Scary good, in fact. But they did only beat a failing WAD and the Freeballers. Now it's the real measuring stick game in the Legends. If they win? Look out world. If they lose? They’re just another team learning the hard way that theres a difference between “really good” and “Legendary”. 

 

 

 

• IS D5 ALREADY A TWO TEAM RACE? It sure looks like it, doesn’t it? Blitzkrieg and the Blue Ballers are mowing down the competition, and they’re out scoring everyone else by A LOT. It’s still early, but it’s looking like they’re heads and shoulders above everyone else. 

 

 

 

• WHAT WINLESS TEAM SHOULD PANIC THE MOST? None of them! Everyone makes the playoffs! But for right now, What A Dump needs to look inward and figure stuff out or the division is going to leave them in the dust. 

 

 

 

• WHO IS THE MOST PLEASANT SURPRISE SO FAR THIS YEAR? I think the Coochie Monsters being 3-0 has been a really good story as we add another team into the D4 title mix right away. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

• Games Of The Day: 

1. 10:00 - Call The Doctor vs Come From Behind
2. 11:00 - Legends vs The Malones
3. 12:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Jabronies
4. 1:00 - Powerpuff Girls vs Tater Tots
5. 2:00 - 716ers vs Wet Bandits
6. 3:00 - Cunning Stunts vs ISH

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

1. Fittsmagic 37, Total CARnage 27
2. Steph Infection 30, Water Under The Bridget 20
3. On A Rampaige 40, Megoonsta’s 30

• Shout out to Doctor and Jeff Krol on the birth of the future TSL heir! 
• The weather for Buffalo? 73 degrees, but it might rain a little bit. 
• There have been rumors swirling that Topper may make an appearance at the fields. Buy him as many Coronas as you can. 
• A fun email from an anonymous reader: “Garrett shouldn’t even be in the top 10, most overrated QB in topper history, and a very selfish teammate… doesn’t put in the effort in the gym during the offseason.”
• Remember, if you want to have YOUR special email messages make the article, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.!
• WHERE HAS B’S BROTHER BEEN?!
• Freeballers scored 79 points last weekend. Maybe this Buddy Lee at QB thing was a good idea. 
• It’s always impressive how the Tater Tots can take the Fall off, but always come back in the Spring like they’ve never lost a beat. 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 5 THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF!

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 22 May 2026 18:11

Published: Friday, 22 May 2026 18:11

Written by Joe K

Hits: 79

Ladies and gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we are smack dab in the middle of the 2026 Spring session for the TSL. Normally, this is where I’d be giving my “halfway through the season” updated championship odds and predictions, but with the “Week 1 Rainout”, not to be confused with the Week 4 rainouts, we’re technically a week behind schedule as the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality truly heats up. With that we’ll save the “halfway there” talk for next week. As for now, I came up with something fun. 

 

With the TSLQBPRC doing their usual coasting through the first few weeks of the season, I figured it was time that I did my own current power rankings for each division. Besides, who cares about just power ranking the QBs anyway? Let’s do all of the teams. Now, I didn’t really care as much about your current record here, because that’s not nearly as fun, but I did take into account things like your schedule difficulty so far, how many points you’re scoring, how many you’re allowing, and compared them to how many points for and against that your opponents so far have been allowing. I also included fun things like “cool vibes” and really just kind of tinkered with things until they felt right. 

 

So with that said, welcome to the current edition of the TSLGFDTPRs! (Topper Sports League GodFather Divisional Team Power Rankings). 

 

D1 Power Rankings

 

• Legends - Still the standard after beating Malones.

• Sticky Bandits - Balanced, unbeaten, and proven.

• The Malones - Loss to Legends doesn’t erase contender status.

• Freeballers - Offense is dangerous, defense still questionable.

• Eyes Downtown - Better than record, stabilized with WAD win.

• Mavericks - Best winless team; brutal schedule.

• What A Dump - Struggling badly against tough opponents.

 

D2 Power Rankings

 

• Can’t Touch This - Best overall profile after smashing Jabronies.

• Jabronies - Still dangerous, but CTT loss hurts.

• D-Generation XYZ - Better than record suggests.

• Frodo Swaggins - Competitive but hard to trust.

• Buffalo Vice - Brutal schedule, still adjusting.

 

D3 Power Rankings

 

• BQI - Best results and strongest adjusted profile.

• ISH - Explosive offense, real contender.

• Cunning Stunts - Still hard to beat, still badass.

• Bullet Club - Dangerous but inconsistent.

• Grey Hair - Solid defense, steady team.

• Wanderers - Awful record, but schedule/talent keeps them alive.

• Let’s Get Reccked - Improving and dangerous.

• Two Tuddies - Can score, but inconsistent.

• Practice Squad - Name still scares people more than results.

 

D4 Power Rankings

 

• Puckett - Best defensive profile in the division.

• Coochie Monsters - Undefeated and officially legit.

• Mike’s Detailing - Quietly one of the best teams.

• Tater Tots - Great offense, shaky defense.

• Not So Sticky - Steady and annoying to play.

• Balls Deep - Upside still there.

• Flying Balls - Need more data after rainout.

• PowerPuff Girls - Dangerous but inconsistent.

• Cobblestone - Not there yet, Garrett letting Darryl down.

• Show Me Your TDs - Need offense badly.

 

D5 Power Rankings

 

• Blitzkrieg - Most complete team so far.

• Blue Ballers - Best offensive force in D5, maybe the TSL.

• Call the Doctor - Very real, huge Week 5 test.

• Wet Bandits - Undefeated and sneaky good.

• Birds of War - Volatile but talented.

• 716ers - Quietly dangerous.

• Come From Behind - Better offense than record.

• Mo’ Chicken - Easier schedule ahead, but needs results.

• SBG - Competitive in spots, not enough yet.

• Pit Harade - Defense is a major issue.

• Sausage McMuffins - Roughest adjusted profile.

 

D6 Power Rankings

 

• Intentional Clowning - Best efficiency so far.

• Sticky Laces - Better than record most weeks.

• Irish Giants - High ceiling, very inconsistent.

• TMA - Trending up after rough start, Brent more awesome than ever.

• Raw Milkers - Flashes upside, lacks consistency.

• Select - Better than record, but needs to figure something out soon.

 

 

So there you have it. Hate where your team is at? Don’t blame me, you’re the one that played the games. This is just how I see things as we strut on into Memorial Day weekend. If you want to complain though, feel free, as always, to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me all about it. 

 

Now let’s get into the good stuff:

D1

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

Sticky Bandits 40, Mavericks 38

Legends 54, The Malones 43

Eyes Downtown 40, What A Dump 16

D1 suddenly feels alive again. The Legends reminded everybody they’re still the team to beat, but the Malones absolutely looked like they belonged on the same field. Sticky Bandits survived a scare against the Mavericks, and now the Mavericks suddenly look WAY more dangerous than a normal 0-3 team should. Meanwhile, Eyes Downtown may have saved their season before it spiraled completely out of control, while What A Dump officially enters “things are getting uncomfortable” territory.

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

STICKY BANDITS VS THE MALONES (+1) - The Malones have to put the loss to the Legends in their rearview mirror already and focus on the road ahead, because they already get another “measuring stick” game of sorts as they take on the Sticky Bandits, who also have a pretty decent claim to the throne of D1. The Malones have been the talk of the league so far with how well they’ve played, and they’re about to make even more waves this week. THE MALONES BY 6

FREEBALLERS VS STICKY BANDITS (+3) - The Sticky Bandits get right back into the fray with a game against the Freeballers, who are exactly like their last opponent - hungry and looking to make a name for themselves. While having a target on their back isn’t unusual for Sticky Nation, they know there aren’t any easy outs in D1 anymore. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

MAVERICKS VS WHAT A DUMP (+6) - Both of these teams are winless but they still feel miles apart. WAD is getting roughed up a bit and they feel directionless. The Mavs are just a couple of plays away from some big wins and once they fix their slow starts, look out. MAVERICKS BY 9

FREEBALLERS VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+4) - I love this world where the Freeballers are favored against some of the marquee D1 teams halfway through the season. Clearly Vegas respects the Freeballers play as of late, but I still need to see more. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

D2

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

JABRONIES 36, BUFFALO VICE 31

CAN’T TOUCH THIS 48, BUFFALO VICE 22

CAN’T TOUCH THIS 45, JABRONIES 8

D-GENERATION XYZ 21, FRODO SWAGGINS 21

D2 officially became terrifying this week. Can’t Touch This didn’t just beat the Jabronies they completely changed the conversation around the division, but I’m well aware that they weren’t at full strength. Buffalo Vice got thrown directly into the fire after moving up, but they’re competing and Frodo somehow remains the weirdest team in the TSL. Every game in this division now feels stressful, even the agreed to rainout ties. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BUFFALO VICE VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+2) - Okay, both of these teams could really use the win, just to get the season going in the right direction. Frodo hasn’t really played enough for me to see what they’re about this season, but I’ve seen enough of Vice. They’re underrated. BUFFALO VICE BY 3

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+8) - Can’t Touch This is flying high. 2-0 against their toughest competition, clicking on all cylinders. And yet, we’ve seen this before. Great regular season, playoff heartbreak. DXYZ is “blessed” with a double header of doom. I don’t think they’ll catch CTT sleeping. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 13

JABRONIES VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+5) - It doesn’t get better for DXYZ as they go from the class of the division, to the class of the divison (angry version). Even with a weaker squad last week, there’s no way that loss doesn’t sting, and the Jabs may want to make a statement here. JABRONIES BY 17

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+10) - The second half of a double header for both of these squads. Even if Frodo looks good early, I’m not sure it’ll matter. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 10

D3

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

BQI 34, WANDERERS 28

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE 34, WANDERERS 28

LET’S GET RECCKED 33, GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE 12

CUNNING STUNTS 32, PRACTICE SQUAD 6

CUNNING STUNTS 21, INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 21

D3 continues to feel less like a division and more like a psychological experiment. BQI’s start now looks fully legitimate, the Wanderers put up a pair of 34-28 losses and are a shocking 0-5-1, and the Stunts continue to be on their way back to their usual dominance. Also, nobody knows what to do with Practice Squad right now. It’s easy to write them off, but they’ve famously won D3 from the bottom seed after a winless season. Look out for Let’s Get Reccked. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BQI VS BULLET CLUB (+5) - The brand new D3 team against the team that’s been in D3 the longest (I think). BQI has had a heck of a start, rocketing to the top of the division, while Bullet Club finds themselves in their usual position near the top of the standings. BQI BY 6

LET’S GET RECCKED VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+4) - LGR is looking to just start getting it going, while Practice Squad finds themselves stuck in the mud. I know they’ll eventually snap out of it, I just don’t know when. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 5

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+10) - The same thing as the last game, except the Squad has already played a game and they’re playing a better team. Not great. ISH BY 16

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS TWO TUDDIES (+6) - The Tud Buds have only played two games after four weeks of football, which really gives us no clue on where they stand in the D3 hirarchy. Beating the Wanderers and losing to the Stunts just means they did what they were supposed to do so far. Statement time for them. TWO TUDDIES BY 7

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS TWO TUDDIES (+3) - Grey Hair is in a similar boat as the Tuddies which means we could be in for a good matchup here. Even with the bonus of catching them on the backend of a doubleheader, I still think Grey Hair is a shade behind the Tud Buds. TWO TUDDIES BY 4

D4

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

BALLS DEEP 26, COBBLESTONE 12

COOCHIE MONSTERS 37, TATER TOTS 36

TATER TOTS 38, POWERPUFF GIRLS 30

D4 may be the most entertaining division in the league. The Coochie Monsters are officially a real contender, Tater Tots continue producing  every single game, knocking off the PowerPuff Girls and now Mike’s Detailing enters the spotlight with a chance to completely reshape the division this week. Balls Deep quietly got their first win, finally. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BALLS DEEP VS FLYING BALLS (+1) - Big Balls Battle week is upon us as the Deep ones take on the Flying ones. Balls Deep got in the win column last week, and they’ll look to move to .500 with a win over a Flying Balls team that is searching for a first win of their own. The Flying Balls have looked good, regardless of their lack of wins, and they feel poised to break out soon. FLYING BALLS BY 9

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS MIKE’S DETAILING (+1) - Big Game of the Day potential right here. The Coochie Monsters have been awesome so far this season, easily one of the league’s early top storylines and surprises. Mike’s Detailing are no slouches themselves putting up lots of points in their two wins. This one should be fun. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 1

NOT SO STICKY VS COBBLESTONE (+8) - Cobblestone still seems to be going through their usual roster issues which really just prevents the team from gelling. Meanwhile a good portion of NSS has been playing together since 1993. NOT SO STICKY BY 14

MIKE’S DETAILING VS COBBLESTONE (+12) - It doesn’t get easier for Cobblestone as they’ll get a Mike’s Detailing that’s angry about a loss to the Coochie Monsters, or pumped up about a win in that game. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 13

PUCKETT VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+16) - Puckett has impressively only allowed 6 points so far this season while SMYTDs has unimpressively scored 6 points this season. This could be a bloodbath of epic proportions. PUCKETT BY 22. 

D5

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

BLITZKRIEG 42, SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS 0

CALL THE DOCTOR 36, COME FROM BEHIND 17

BIRDS OF WAR 48, SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS 26

BLUE BALLERS 46, PIT HARADE 19

COME FROM BEHIND 35, BIRDS OF WAR 34

CALL THE DOCTOR 40, MO’ CHICKEN 26

716ERS 23, SBG 20

D5 is becoming absurd. Every contender can score 40, every game feels dangerous, and now the top teams finally start colliding with each other. This division feels like an offensive arms race and I have no clue who will come out on top. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

BLITZKRIEG VS CALL THE DOCTOR (+2) - Call The Doctor has had a very nice start to their existence, but it feels like reality is about to set in. Right? QB Eickhoff can run an offense, thats for sure, but now they’re getting a D5 heavyweight to see where they measure up. Blitzkrieg MIGHT give up more points than their 4 points allowed per game average this time, but they’ll still score a bunch. BLITZKRIEG BY 17

BLITZKRIEG VS 716ERS (+10) - The 716ers are the 2-0 team that aren’t getting nearly enough publicity so far this year. Granted, two 3-point wins aren’t anything to really write home about, but wins are wins damnit. They’re in the same boat as CTD was in the first game, this is their test to see where they measure up. They don’t. BLITZKRIEG BY 13

CALL THE DOCTOR VS SBG (+14) - SBG comes into this game winless in their three games so far this season, but they could’ve pulled the upset last week and just fell short. They’re coming along, but there’s still more to go before they can beat CTD. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 12

COME FROM BEHIND VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+4) - The McMuffins aren’t very McMuffiny anymore. Come From Behind is finally starting to come around to form. That’s all there really is to it. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

MO’ CHICKEN VS PIT HARADE (+2) - Mo’ Chicken is favored in a game this late in the season? That’s good news for them, but terrible news for Pit Harade, who are struggling to stop anyone on defense this season. They’ve also had to deal with the Blue Ballers, Call The Doctor, and Birds Of War so far, so if they’re wanting to snap out of their funk, this would be the time. PIT HARADE BY 3

716ERS VS MO’ CHICKEN (+8) - Things don’t get easier for Mo’ Chicken as they get to play the 716ers as well, in the harder game for a doubleheader. 716ERS BY 10

BLUE BALLERS VS WET BANDITS (+7) - On the one hand, this is a battle between two undefeated teams. On the other hand, the Wet Bandits have played the easiest schedule so far, not just in D5, but in the ENTIRE TSL. On top of that, the Blue Ballers currently lead the entire TSL in Points per game with 47.7. These two are not the same. BLUE BALLERS BY 15

D6

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

TMA 22, IRISH GIANTS 15

STICKY LACES 20, SELECT 13

D6 remains impossible to predict. TMA rebounded in a huge way, Sticky Laces continues playing stressful football every single week, and nobody in this division feels safe from anybody else.

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

TMA VS RAW MILKERS (+4) - TMA continues to roll after a tough start to the season, and now they get a Raw Milkers team that continues to be incredibly inconsistent. And I don’t mean that for the season, I mean it for their entire existence. They need to figure it out. TMA BY 7

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS RAW MILKERS (+8) - Things don't get easier for the Milk Duds as the circus comes to town. IC has looked good so far in this season, but they’re also just two games in. Upset alert. RAW MILKERS BY 1

IRISH GIANTS VS SELECT (+6) - Select is a pretty good 0-3 team. But they KNOW they can be better. They get an Irish Giants team that’s all over the place with consistency, but I still see the Giants as slight tier higher…for now. IRISH GIANTS BY 4

 

GF vs GPT 

LAST WEEK (Week 4)

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper’s Super Computer: 18-11
The Godfather: 15-14

STRAIGHT UP

Topper’s Super Computer: 22-7
The Godfather: 20-9

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper’s Super Computer: 30-23
The Godfather: 25-28

STRAIGHT UP

Topper’s Super Computer: 35-18
The Godfather: 33-20

 

My theory is that if you let skynet win, it’ll be nice to you when it takes over. Also, I clearly would’ve gotten every single rain out right, so I’d be up 8 more wins. 

 

THE TSC’S PICKS: 

 

Sticky Bandits vs The Malones (+1) - Sticky Bandits by 3

Freeballers (-3) vs Sticky Bandits - Sticky Bandits by 1

Mavericks vs What A Dump (+6) - Mavericks by 8

Freeballers (-4) vs Eyes Downtown - Freeballers by 6

Buffalo Vice (-2) vs Frodo Swaggins - Frodo Swaggins by 1

Can’t Touch This (-8) vs D-Generation XYZ - Can’t Touch This by 9

Jabronies (-5) vs D-Generation XYZ - Jabronies by 7

Can’t Touch This (-10) vs Frodo Swaggins - Can’t Touch This by 13

BQI (-5) vs Bullet Club - BQI by 6

Let’s Get Reccked (-4) vs Practice Squad - Let’s Get Reccked by 5

Interspacial Squalling Harriers (-10) vs Practice Squad - ISH by 12

Interspacial Squalling Harriers (-6) vs Two Tuddies - ISH by 7

Grey Hair - Don’t Care (-3) vs Two Tuddies - Grey Hair by 4

Balls Deep (-1) vs Flying Balls - Flying Balls by 2

Coochie Monsters (-1) vs Mike’s Detailing - Mike’s Detailing by 3

Not So Sticky (-8) vs Cobblestone - Not So Sticky by 10

Mike’s Detailing (-12) vs Cobblestone - Mike’s Detailing by 11

Puckett (-16) vs Show Me Your TDs - Puckett by 14

Blitzkrieg (-2) vs Call the Doctor - Blitzkrieg by 4

Blitzkrieg (-10) vs 716ers - Blitzkrieg by 8

Call the Doctor (-14) vs SBG - Call the Doctor by 16

Come From Behind (-4) vs Sausage McMuffins - Come From Behind by 6

Mo’ Chicken (-2) vs Pit Harade - Mo’ Chicken by 4

716ers (-8) vs Mo’ Chicken - 716ers by 6

Blue Ballers (-7) vs Wet Bandits - Blue Ballers by 9

TMA (-4) vs Raw Milkers - TMA by 5

Intentional Clowning (-8) vs Raw Milkers - Intentional Clowning by 11

Irish Giants (-6) vs Select - Irish Giants by 7

 

GAME LINES AND OVER/UNDERS

D1

STICKY BANDITS VS THE MALONES

Spread: The Malones +1
Moneyline: Sticky Bandits -120 / The Malones +100
Over/Under: 79.5

FREEBALLERS VS STICKY BANDITS

Spread: Sticky Bandits +3
Moneyline: Freeballers -155 / Sticky Bandits +135
Over/Under: 81.5

MAVERICKS VS WHAT A DUMP

Spread: What A Dump +6
Moneyline: Mavericks -240 / What A Dump +190
Over/Under: 60.5

FREEBALLERS VS EYES DOWNTOWN

Spread: Eyes Downtown +4
Moneyline: Freeballers -180 / Eyes Downtown +150
Over/Under: 76.5

 

D2

BUFFALO VICE VS FRODO SWAGGINS

Spread: Frodo Swaggins +2
Moneyline: Buffalo Vice -130 / Frodo Swaggins +110
Over/Under: 58.5

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS D-GENERATION XYZ

Spread: D-Generation XYZ +8
Moneyline: Can’t Touch This -320 / D-Generation XYZ +240
Over/Under: 73.5

JABRONIES VS D-GENERATION XYZ

Spread: D-Generation XYZ +5
Moneyline: Jabronies -190 / D-Generation XYZ +160
Over/Under: 70.5

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS FRODO SWAGGINS

Spread: Frodo Swaggins +10
Moneyline: Can’t Touch This -420 / Frodo Swaggins +310
Over/Under: 66.5

 

D3

BQI VS BULLET CLUB

Spread: Bullet Club +5
Moneyline: BQI -200 / Bullet Club +170
Over/Under: 68.5

LET’S GET RECCKED VS PRACTICE SQUAD

Spread: Practice Squad +4
Moneyline: Let’s Get Reccked -175 / Practice Squad +145
Over/Under: 59.5

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS PRACTICE SQUAD

Spread: Practice Squad +10
Moneyline: ISH -430 / Practice Squad +320
Over/Under: 71.5

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS VS TWO TUDDIES

Spread: Two Tuddies +6
Moneyline: ISH -230 / Two Tuddies +185
Over/Under: 73.5

GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS TWO TUDDIES

Spread: Two Tuddies +3
Moneyline: Grey Hair -155 / Two Tuddies +135
Over/Under: 61.5

 

D4

BALLS DEEP VS FLYING BALLS

Spread: Flying Balls +1
Moneyline: Balls Deep -115 / Flying Balls -105
Over/Under: 57.5

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS MIKE’S DETAILING

Spread: Mike’s Detailing +1
Moneyline: Coochie Monsters -115 / Mike’s Detailing -105
Over/Under: 67.5

NOT SO STICKY VS COBBLESTONE

Spread: Cobblestone +8
Moneyline: Not So Sticky -320 / Cobblestone +240
Over/Under: 54.5

MIKE’S DETAILING VS COBBLESTONE

Spread: Cobblestone +12
Moneyline: Mike’s Detailing -500 / Cobblestone +350
Over/Under: 52.5

PUCKETT VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS

Spread: Show Me Your TDs +16
Moneyline: Puckett -900 / Show Me Your TDs +550
Over/Under: 46.5

 

D5

BLITZKRIEG VS CALL THE DOCTOR

Spread: Call the Doctor +2
Moneyline: Blitzkrieg -135 / Call the Doctor +115
Over/Under: 74.5

BLITZKRIEG VS 716ERS

Spread: 716ers +10
Moneyline: Blitzkrieg -420 / 716ers +310
Over/Under: 63.5

CALL THE DOCTOR VS SBG

Spread: SBG +14
Moneyline: Call the Doctor -700 / SBG +450
Over/Under: 67.5

COME FROM BEHIND VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS

Spread: Sausage McMuffins +4
Moneyline: Come From Behind -170 / Sausage McMuffins +145
Over/Under: 61.5

MO’ CHICKEN VS PIT HARADE

Spread: Pit Harade +2
Moneyline: Mo’ Chicken -130 / Pit Harade +110
Over/Under: 58.5

716ERS VS MO’ CHICKEN

Spread: Mo’ Chicken +8
Moneyline: 716ers -320 / Mo’ Chicken +240
Over/Under: 59.5

BLUE BALLERS VS WET BANDITS

Spread: Wet Bandits +7
Moneyline: Blue Ballers -260 / Wet Bandits +200
Over/Under: 78.5

 

D6

TMA VS RAW MILKERS

Spread: Raw Milkers +4
Moneyline: TMA -175 / Raw Milkers +145
Over/Under: 54.5

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS RAW MILKERS

Spread: Raw Milkers +8
Moneyline: Intentional Clowning -320 / Raw Milkers +240
Over/Under: 60.5

IRISH GIANTS VS SELECT

Spread: Select +6
Moneyline: Irish Giants -240 / Select +190
Over/Under: 55.5

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

• IS THIS THE WEEK THE COOCHIE MONSTERS BECOME D4 FAVORITES? In a word, maybe. I don’t think they’re going to win this week, and that Tater Tots win is nothing to sneeze at. They absolutely can prove me wrong with a big win over Mike’s Detailing, which would then, yes, put them in the driver’s seat. 

 

 

 

• WHO IS ACTUALLY THE BEST TEAM IN D5? D5 has 5 undefeated teams. They also have 4 winless teams. With apologies to the Wet Bandits and the 716ers, it’ll come down to one of the 3-0 teams in the division. All three of Blitzkrieg, Blue Ballers, and Call The Doctor are in the Top 5 for the overall TSL Ranking. At this point, I’d give the nod to Blitzkreig. They can score AND play defense really well and seem to be the total package. Of course, every time I’ve put my faith in them in the past has gone poorly. 

 

 

 

• WHICH UNDEFEATED TEAM IS MOST LIKELY TO LOSE THIS WEEK? Well, I’m not going to count the Wet Bandits in this, since I explained earlier that they were more than likely going to lose this week. I think the answer is ISH. They have two games against two good teams, so they’re bound to lose to one of them. Right? 

 

 

 

• WHAT IS THE MOST SURPRISING THING YOU NEVER WOULD’VE GUESSED IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON THAT’S HAPPENED SO FAR? I think if you would’ve told me a month ago that the Wanderers and Practice Squad would’ve played 9 games and will end up a combined 0-8-1 in those games, I’d have had you committed for your own protection. 

 

 

 

• CAN WE SURVIVE ANOTHER RAIN OUT WEEK? YOU probably can, Jeff Krol more than likely can not. With rain in the forecast for another week for you all in Buffalo this week, that marks 3 of the 4 weeks so far this season as “wet”, to say the least. Unless we start playing some makeup games during the week, we may be maxed out in terms of getting everything in (giggity) if it rains again. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• GAMES OF THE WEEK: 

• 10:00 - Sticky Bandits vs The Malones

• 11:00 - BQI vs Bullet Club

• 12:00 - Coochie Monsters vs Mike’s Detailing

• 1:00 - Mavericks vs What A Dump

• 2:00 - ISH vs Two Tuddies

• 3:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Freeballers

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• On A Rampaige 37, Total CARnage 24

• Water Under The Bridget 30, Megoonsta’s 28

• Fittsmagic 40, Steph Infection 14

 

 

 

• The Sticky Bandits play a doubleheader this week against Freeballers and The Malones, and who would’ve thought when the season started that it feels like this is harder than next week’s double header against Eyes Downtown and Legends? 

 

 

 

• The brand new article on the TSL website, The TSC (Topper’s Super Computer), is…something else. What did you DO Topper?? Give it a read. Click the link at the top of the page.

 

 

 

•  The Coochie Monsters’ Strength of Schedule so far? .708. The Coochie’s SOS the rest of the season? .750, tied for first in the league with Birds of War. But also, yes, that means they’re the team that didn’t get Show Me Your TD’s on the schedule. 

 

 

 

• Only 37.5% of the games this season have been decided by 10 points or less, which is essentially a 1 score game (8pt Gender TD + 2pt Conversion). 

 

 

 

• BQI, despite having a female QB who is ranked by the committee, is somehow the most underrated team in the league that nobody is paying attention to. How does that happen?

 

 

 

• The Malones really came to play against the Legends last week, and it was good to see them show they belong in D1. It was also good to see the Legends actually get up for a game. 

 

 

 

• Don’t forget you can tune into the TSL podcast each week and hear our players talk about the league and their games! They’re always looking for new guests, so feel free to reach out to Jeff Krol, Joe K, Dorene, Tino, or anyone really, and they’ll point you in the right direction. 

 

 

 

• It’s always hard to believe how fast the TSL season goes by once it gets started. Halfway through? Really? The only good thing about it is that now the games start to matter more, and the teams who are serious contenders will begin to lock in and really take over. We have 6 divisions, and there’s a good chance that most, if not all, of the teams leading them right now will NOT win Immortality. As always, it’s going to be a fun ride. 

 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 3 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 08 May 2026 16:49

Published: Friday, 08 May 2026 16:49

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 148

And we’re off! After a week hiatus, the Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality has begun! For those of you who are new to this adventure, you’ll need to know that the regular season of the TSL is just the warmup for the true main event that comes in the final two weeks of June. Teams that looked beyond good a week ago will fall apart before the season ends. Teams that struggled this week will find their mojo and you’ll find them playing for a title as a #6 seed “Surprise” team as well. Nothing was decided last week, even if that one person in your team chat is already freaking out. You know who I’m talking about. 

 

Yes, everyone reading this just had someone jump into their mind quickly. That really goes to show you how you feel about that person. 

 

However, there is always some merit to how the season started. Teams who had a slow start could be teetering on the edge of a “season from hell”. Those hot start teams definitely can ride the wave of momentum to an undefeated season that nobody was predicting. After talking with my super secret spies, and looking at the results on my computer out here in Des Moines, I was able to identify some of the best early season storylines we’re going to follow. 

 

-Teams that moved up look mostly really good:

 

-The Malones look more than D1 ready after dismantling What A Dump

-Either BQI is going to decimate D3, or Practice Squad should’ve all done the “Kenny” and retired in their prime

-Tud Buds might be for real

-Blue Ballers run CFB off the fields

-Flying Balls struggle for the first time maybe ever

-NSS looks weak, fans start to chant for Rags to reclaim QB throne

 

-Is Eyes Downtown in trouble? 

-Is TMA?

-John Langley breaks own TSL record for most injuries to open season, yet isn’t to blame for “Stonehands” Dropewicz’s play.

-New teams pulling out close wins over veteran teams: Birds of War, 716ers look good

-Show Me Your TDs look like the SMYTDs of old, despite zero relation to the worst team in TSL history (despite a love for being shutout)

-Tino clearly favoring Irish Giants over Mo’ Chicken. Decisions may loom. 

-Non Pregnant PowerPuffs pick up where the last ones left off, humble Balls Deep

-Stunts and Wanderers Tie! 

-Cobblestone has players, and they were actually at the game!

-Week 1 schedule completely rescheduled throughout the season, Jeff Krol quoted as saying “After this, having a second child will be a breeze down easy street.”

 

And that’s just after one week of games. I can only wonder what’s going to happen here in Week 3. Let’s find out. 

D1

LAST WEEK’S GAMES:

Legends 23, Eyes Downtown 20
Sticky Bandits 38, Eyes Downtown 14
The Malones 50, What A Dump 10
Freeballers 29, Mavericks 16

 

That didn’t take long. The Malones burst onto the scene with a 40-point beatdown of What a Dump and instantly inserted themselves into the title conversation. Sticky Bandits looked every bit like a contender in dismantling Eyes Downtown, who suddenly finds themselves 0-2 and under pressure immediately. The Legends once again handled business in a marquee matchup, because of course they did, while Freeballers may have had the sneakiest impressive result of the week by taking down Mavericks despite prized QB acquisition Buddy Lee not even playing. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

MAVERICKS vs STICKY BANDITS (-10) - The Sticky Bandits look like they’re the slight "team to beat” after the dismantling of Eyes Downtown, who no doubt were doing three a days this week. The Mavs lost to the Freeballers, and D2 is looking pretty sexy after one week. They’ll bounce back, just not this week. STICKY BANDITS BY 12

FREEBALLERS vs THE MALONES (-4) - The Week 3 battle for first place game that everyone had written down before the season comes to fruition. Both teams had great first games, but in reality The Malones are once again the talk of the league (as they tend to do) after looking spectacular against WAD. The Freeballers were also impressive against the Mavs, but they weren’t “talk of the town” impressive. A Freeballers win would be epic news but The Malones looked too good to go against. As they like to say, “Fuck Rhace”. THE MALONES BY 17

FREEBALLERS vs WHAT A DUMP (EVEN) - What A Dump got dumped on last week, and they get the Freeballers in the second half of a doubleheader this week. It feels like the right time for them to right the ship quickly. WHAT A DUMP BY 3

 

D2

LAST WEEK’S GAMES:

D-Generation XYZ 40, Buffalo Vice 33
Can’t Touch This 24, Jabronies 22
Jabronies 31, Frodo Swaggins 22

D2 already feels exactly like we drew it up: tight, competitive, and mildly stressful for everybody involved. D-Generation XYZ survived a strong effort from Buffalo Vice, while Can’t Touch This once again started the season hot because apparently some things never change. The Jabronies rebounded from a brutal close loss to CTT by taking down Frodo and reminding everyone that they’re still one of the most dangerous teams in the division. Good luck to all of the teams having to deal with this every single week.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

D-GENERATION XYZ vs JABRONIES (-2) - The Kellers had a really nice start to the season, but with all due respect to Buffalo Vice, the Jabronies are a bit of a different animal. Trying to keep with Ray and Charles will make you go blind. If DXYZ truly is a contender here, we’ll find out this week. JABRONIES BY 8

 

D3

LAST WEEK’S GAMES:

ISH 32, Bullet Club 18
Bullet Club 33, Let’s Get Reccked 27
Cunning Stunts 36, Wanderers 36
Two Tuddies 29, Wanderers 20
BQI 34, Practice Squad 0

D3 wasted absolutely no time becoming the chaos division we all expected. BQI made the entire league collectively raise an eyebrow by annihilating Practice Squad in their first game after jumping two divisions. ISH looked explosive once again, while Bullet Club recovered from their opening loss by surviving a shootout with Let’s Get Reccked. The ‘New Look’ Wanderers already feel difficult to evaluate after tying one game and losing another, while Two Tuddies quietly put together one of the better opening performances in the division. As for Cunning Stunts, they remain annoying to play against and probably aren’t going anywhere, especially now that their lone male grows three and a half feet on defense.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

ISH vs WANDERERS (-3) - Game of the Day potential here as the Wanderers take on Buddy Lee and ISH. Expect a close one. ISH BY 2

BULLET CLUB vs WANDERERS (-5) - A rivalry renewed yet again as Bullet Club takes on the Wanderers in a matchup that historically is always played VERY close no matter who is playing for which side, and this one feels like it’ll be no different. Frank vs Jordan at QB? I’m sure that will go smoothly. BULLET CLUB BY 3

BQI vs LET’S GET RECCKED (EVEN) - LQR looked better than the result showed against Bullet Club last week, and they present a different type of look for BQI. Yes, BQI looked amazing in week 2, but the regression monster feels like it’ll come around on them this week. I mean, they’ll look good, just not AS good. BQI BY 8

CUNNING STUNTS vs TWO TUDDIES (-2) - We actually live in a world where the Two Tuddies are favored against the Cunning Stunts. Read that again. 2025 you thinks you’re lying. But its true. The Tuddies are either going to be super awesome all season or they’re going to come back down to Earth ever so slightly. I’m going with super awesome. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

GREY HAIR – DON’T CARE vs PRACTICE SQUAD (-3) - Grey Hair returns to D3 after a stint in D2 that didn’t exactly set the world on fire. They should be competitive in most games, but they’re getting a reeling Practice Squad team that could really use a “get right” game. This feels like one of those weeks where B has told everyone how “locked in” he is going into the game, which, look out GHDC. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

D4

LAST WEEK’S GAMES:

Tater Tots 48, Flying Balls 22
Coochie Monsters 34, Cobblestone 6
Puckett 37, Not So Sticky 6
PowerPuff Girls 17, Balls Deep 6
Mike’s Detailing 36, Show Me Your TDs 0

If there’s one takeaway from D4 after one week, it’s this: absolutely nobody knows who’s winning this division anymore. Puckett looked terrifying in dismantling NSS, Mike’s Detailing backed up the offseason hype with a shutout, and the Tater Tots reminded everyone that they don’t really believe in rust. PowerPuff Girls once again proved they’re never an easy out, while Balls Deep’s highly anticipated move up to D4 didn’t quite go as planned. Coochie Monsters looked impressive in their opener, regardless of if it were Cobblestone or not. D4 already feels like the usual “once you think you know the answers I change the questions” type of division it tends to be. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

BALLS DEEP vs COOCHIE MONSTERS (-2) - Balls Deep scored their lowest point total in what feels like forever a week ago, and that simply won’t always be the case. They’re going to get things moving on the offensive side of the ball very quickly. The Coochies had a great start to their season, but now they find themselves with a real test this week. Both of these teams have something to prove in D4, which means this is one to watch. Flip a coin here. Actually, the tag line for going Balls Deep into the Coochie Monsters writes itself. BALLS DEEP BY 2

COOCHIE MONSTERS vs FLYING BALLS (-6) - The Coochies get more Balls just a short time later, as the Flying Balls come to town looking to lick their wounds after the beatdown the Tots put on them. They’re too talented to lose again so soon. FLYING BALLS BY 8

NOT SO STICKY vs SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+10) - The plus side for Show Me Your TDs here is that NSS never has that many to show in the first place. The negative side is that SMYTDs hasn’t scored a single point at all just yet. I want to believe that the name isn’t cursed, but if they get shut out again, Jeff should immediately offer them a mid-season name change. NOT SO STICKY BY 13, BUT TDS SCORE. 

NOT SO STICKY vs POWERPUFF GIRLS (-3) - I don’t see how this line is only 3, but then again these aren’t your father’s Powerpuff Girls. With the A squad pregnant, the B and C squads are starting this season, and maybe next too. But don’t let them fool you, this team’s “C” Squad is better than your favorite team’s best players. HOWEVER, with a newer roster still gelling, and NSS being pretty good at picking on teams like that, I smell an upset of sorts. NOT SO STICKY BY 1

POWERPUFF GIRLS vs PUCKETT (-2) - Yeah, so, Puckett was beyond awesome last week. They’re overdue for a title. I feel like this trend is going to continue all season. This one will be a doozy. PUCKETT BY 10

MIKE’S DETAILING vs TATER TOTS (-1) - A matchup of the two best looking teams in D4 last week? We should be so lucky. While D4 has no sure things, there is still a better than 37% chance that this could be the championship game this season. My prediction? These two meet as the 2v3 seed game, beating the hell out of each other to soften them up for whoever they play in the title game. But as for this week? Shootout. TATER TOTS BY 2

D5

LAST WEEK’S GAMES:

Birds of War 31, Pit Harade 28
Blitzkrieg 50, Mo’ Chicken 6
Wet Bandits 18, SBG 6
716ers 24, Sausage McMuffins 21
Blue Ballers 46, Come From Behind 12

D5 may have already produced the most overreactions in the league after just one week. Blitzkrieg and Blue Ballers both looked terrifying offensively, while Wet Bandits immediately made a name for themselves as “best new team in the division” by handling SBG. Birds of War survived a very solid Pit Harade squad in what may end up being a sneaky important win later in the year, while 716ers earned immediate respect by winning their debut game. Meanwhile, Mo’ Chicken and Come From Behind already find themselves trying to avoid an early spiral.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

BLITZKRIEG vs SBG (+12) - Man, Blitzkrieg looked really good last week. This team continues to improve season after season, and there’s a better than decent chance that this is the season that they just stomp everyone and walk to D4. SBG needs to figure some things out, that’s for sure. If they’re going to stack up at all with the title contenders, this is the week to show us SOMETHING. BLITZKRIEG BY 20

CALL THE DOCTOR vs PIT HARADE (EVEN) - Pit Harade lost the game against Birds of War late, and their reward is to get to play another brand new team they don’t really know anything about. CTD hasn’t played a game yet this season, but they have the “bones” (i.e. names I’ve heard of before) to be pretty good here. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 6

 

BLUE BALLERS vs SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+8) - The Blue Ballers didn’t miss a single beat after moving up a division, and they were on fire. The McMuffins should provide slightly more of a test than CFB did a week ago, but I don’t think it’ll make that much of a difference. BLUE BALLERS BY 14

BIRDS OF WAR vs WET BANDITS (+3) - Birds of War played as well as advertised last week, and they’re only going to keep improving as the weeks go on. The Wet Bandits are also 1-0 after an easy win over SBG, but I’m going to need to see more from them before I believe. Not that I’ve seen much from BOW, but I’m going with pedigree here. BIRDS OF WAR BY 8

D6

LAST WEEK’S GAMES:

Intentional Clowning 33, TMA 10
Irish Giants 29, Sticky Laces 28

D6 somehow had two games, but they both were polar opposites. Intentional Clowning absolutely dominated TMA in a result that nobody really saw coming, winning in a blowout and instantly making IC look like one of the teams to beat in the division. That isn’t to say nobody thought they’d win. IC is a good team, we just weren’t expecting the blowout win. Meanwhile,  the Irish Giants escaped Sticky Laces by a single point in one of the best games of the week, while the Laces at least proved they’re going to be competitive despite the offseason questions surrounding the team.

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

STICKY LACES vs INTENTIONAL CLOWNING (-6) - Clowning showed up and showed out last week in a statement win over TMA that puts them right at the top of the championship race in D6. The Sticky Laces, to their credit, only lost by a point to the Irish Giants so they may be closer to the title than we think. This game will go a long way towards showing that. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 8

SELECT vs TMA (-2) - TMA might only be favored at this point because of history. They didn’t look great last week, although word is, in typical TMA fashion, alcohol may have played a role. A bounce back against Select is needed. Select was a team that was hard to fully get a handle on last season. One week you’d expect them to break out, then they’d disappoint you. I don’t expect them to be in “midseason form” yet. TMA BY 1

RAW MILKERS vs SELECT (-4) - BUT now Select has a game under their belts by this one, whereas the Milkers (who were also up and down last season) have to figure some stuff out and I expect a little first game jitters. SELECT BY 3

STICKY LACES vs IRISH GIANTS (-3) - You have to love the rematches so early in the season, especially when the two teams just had a great game against each other. Sticky gets revenge. STICKY LACES BY 1

RAW MILKERS vs IRISH GIANTS (-8) - The Giants and Milkers will be in their second game of the day, but until proven otherwise, the Giants are simply the better team. IRISH GIANTS BY 10

 

GF vs GPT

 

LAST WEEK:

AGAINST THE SPREAD
Topper’s Super Computer: 12-12
The Godfather: 10-14

STRAIGHT UP
Topper’s Super Computer: 13-11
The Godfather: 13-11

OVERALL SEASON:

AGAINST THE SPREAD
Topper’s Super Computer: 12-12
The Godfather: 10-14

STRAIGHT UP
Topper’s Super Computer: 13-11
The Godfather: 13-11

 

Not the greatest start for me, but that just means I was inspiring teams to “prove me wrong” as I often do. Here are the picks for the TSC: 

D1

Mavericks vs Sticky Bandits (-10) — STICKY BANDITS BY 13

Freeballers vs The Malones (-4) — THE MALONES BY 6

Freeballers vs What a Dump (-8) — FREEBALLERS BY 10

D2

D-Generation XYZ vs Jabronies (-2) — JABRONIES BY 4

D3

ISH vs Wanderers (-3) — WANDERERS BY 5

Bullet Club vs Wanderers (-5) — WANDERERS BY 2

BQI vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) — BQI BY 7

Cunning Stunts vs Two Tuddies (-2) — TWO TUDDIES BY 3

Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs Practice Squad (-3) — PRACTICE SQUAD BY 6

D4

Balls Deep vs Coochie Monsters (-2) — COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 4

Coochie Monsters vs Flying Balls (-6) — COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 10

Not So Sticky vs Show Me Your TDs (+10) — SHOW ME YOUR TDS BY 3

Not So Sticky vs PowerPuff Girls (-3) — POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 5

PowerPuff Girls vs Puckett (-2) — PUCKETT BY 6

Mike’s Detailing vs Tater Tots (-1) — TATER TOTS BY 2

D5

Blitzkrieg vs SBG (+12) — BLITZKRIEG BY 18

Call the Doctor vs Pit Harade (EVEN) — CALL THE DOCTOR BY 4

Blue Ballers vs Sausage McMuffins (+8) — BLUE BALLERS BY 14

Birds of War vs Wet Bandits (+3) — BIRDS OF WAR BY 6

D6

Sticky Laces vs Intentional Clowning (-6) — INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 8

Select vs TMA (-2) — TMA BY 3

Raw Milkers vs Select (-4) — SELECT BY 7

Sticky Laces vs Irish Giants (-3) — IRISH GIANTS BY 4

Raw Milkers vs Irish Giants (-8) — IRISH GIANTS BY 12

 

GAME LINES AND OVER/UNDERS

D1

Mavericks vs Sticky Bandits
Spread: Sticky Bandits -10
Moneyline: Sticky Bandits -450 / Mavericks +320
Over/Under: 69.5

Freeballers vs The Malones
Spread: The Malones -4
Moneyline: The Malones -185 / Freeballers +155
Over/Under: 74.5

Freeballers vs What a Dump
Spread: Freeballers -8
Moneyline: Freeballers -325 / What a Dump +240
Over/Under: 67.5

D2

D-Generation XYZ vs Jabronies
Spread: Jabronies -2
Moneyline: Jabronies -135 / D-Generation XYZ +115
Over/Under: 72.5

D3

ISH vs Wanderers
Spread: Wanderers -3
Moneyline: Wanderers -155 / ISH +135
Over/Under: 71.5

Bullet Club vs Wanderers
Spread: Wanderers -5
Moneyline: Wanderers -220 / Bullet Club +180
Over/Under: 73.5

BQI vs Let’s Get Reccked
Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: BQI -110 / Let’s Get Reccked -110
Over/Under: 68.5

Cunning Stunts vs Two Tuddies
Spread: Two Tuddies -2
Moneyline: Two Tuddies -130 / Cunning Stunts +110
Over/Under: 75.5

Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs Practice Squad
Spread: Practice Squad -3
Moneyline: Practice Squad -155 / GHDC +135
Over/Under: 65.5

D4

Balls Deep vs Coochie Monsters
Spread: Coochie Monsters -2
Moneyline: Coochie Monsters -130 / Balls Deep +110
Over/Under: 61.5

Coochie Monsters vs Flying Balls
Spread: Coochie Monsters -6
Moneyline: Coochie Monsters -260 / Flying Balls +210
Over/Under: 66.5

Not So Sticky vs Show Me Your TDs
Spread: Show Me Your TDs -10
Moneyline: Show Me Your TDs -450 / Not So Sticky +320
Over/Under: 58.5

Not So Sticky vs PowerPuff Girls
Spread: PowerPuff Girls -3
Moneyline: PowerPuff Girls -155 / Not So Sticky +135
Over/Under: 57.5

PowerPuff Girls vs Puckett
Spread: Puckett -2
Moneyline: Puckett -130 / PowerPuff Girls +110
Over/Under: 56.5

Mike’s Detailing vs Tater Tots
Spread: Tater Tots -1
Moneyline: Tater Tots -120 / Mike’s Detailing EVEN
Over/Under: 63.5

D5

Blitzkrieg vs SBG
Spread: Blitzkrieg -12
Moneyline: Blitzkrieg -650 / SBG +450
Over/Under: 71.5

Call the Doctor vs Pit Harade
Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: Call the Doctor -110 / Pit Harade -110
Over/Under: 64.5

Blue Ballers vs Sausage McMuffins
Spread: Blue Ballers -8
Moneyline: Blue Ballers -340 / Sausage McMuffins +250
Over/Under: 74.5

Birds of War vs Wet Bandits
Spread: Birds of War -3
Moneyline: Birds of War -155 / Wet Bandits +135
Over/Under: 66.5

D6

Sticky Laces vs Intentional Clowning
Spread: Intentional Clowning -6
Moneyline: Intentional Clowning -260 / Sticky Laces +210
Over/Under: 59.5

Select vs TMA
Spread: TMA -2
Moneyline: TMA -130 / Select +110
Over/Under: 54.5

Raw Milkers vs Select
Spread: Select -4
Moneyline: Select -185 / Raw Milkers +155
Over/Under: 57.5

Sticky Laces vs Irish Giants
Spread: Irish Giants -3
Moneyline: Irish Giants -155 / Sticky Laces +135
Over/Under: 58.5

Raw Milkers vs Irish Giants
Spread: Irish Giants -8
Moneyline: Irish Giants -340 / Raw Milkers +250
Over/Under: 61.5

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY: 

IS EYES DOWNTOWN ALREADY IN TROUBLE?  It’s hard to say a team that lost by 3 to the Legends would be in trouble, but that Sticky Blowout has to make you wonder if Eyes Downtown is the “Season From Hell” team or not. The real issue here is if The Malones are for real or not, and maybe even the Freeballers, I guess, but we sort of know better there. However, if they both are legit, Things could get bad for ED quickly. A week off for one of the league’s marquee franchises came at the right time. 

 

IS BQI THE REAL DEAL OR WAS PRACTICE SQUAD JUST ASLEEP? I think this is one of those scenarios where if these teams played 10 times, you’d get them splitting the games 5-5, and each team would have an outlier win. This is the BQI outlier win. I don’t think they’re as good as they looked but I DO think they’re for real. And with Practice Squad, that was probably as bad as it gets for them, and they’ve shown in the past that they bounce back from these outings. The answer lies somewhere in the middle. 

 

HOW IS BREAKFAST CLUB LOOKING? The early results are promising for sure. We had a game come down to the last play, another one was back and forth, and while the last game was a little bit of a blowout, I was told that it was only a couple of plays away from being much closer. The dream of a super even and exciting Breakfast Club is alive and well! 

 

HOW WERE THE NEW LOOK FIELDS? The fields were awesome. Lots of people reported that despite the long walk to get to them, once you’re there they look amazing. Maybe it’s just everyone being in love with football being back and they’ll be complaining soon enough, or maybe people just can appreciate the work that the Rose Garden is apparently putting into the TSL? I remain skeptical. 

 

SKEPTICAL? WELL ABOUT THIS THEN?

 

Holy crap. A bar special? On buckets? Is this real life? Maybe the times really are a changin’. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Parking isn’t great, but let’s use our brains people. DON’T be the one who triple parks and blocks somebody in because you couldn’t be bothered to show up early to the games despite being told to get there sooner and you don’t want to walk. You never know if someone is going to have an emergency. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Steph Infection 27, On A Rampaige 24

• Fittsmagic 40, Water Under The Bridget 22

• Total CARnage 24, Megoonsta’s 23

 

 

 

• Shout out to Jeff Krol for rescheduling ALL of the Week 1 rainout games! 

 

 

 

• Please let The Malones be for real. 

 

 

 

• Apparently the TSL Podcast is having trouble posting on Spotify right now, but you can listen to it on the site here under the “Podcasts” tab! If you want to be on the show, you can ask Tino, Joe K, Dorene, email Jeff Krol, or if you’re new and have no clue who those people are, you can really just ask the bar to point out who those people are to you. 

 

 

 

• Balls Deep needs to be better than that, and they know it. 

 

 

 

• Looking at a 63 degree day with no rain according to my Super Kool Weather App. You could be in for a GREAT day! 

 

 

 

• I already fear that the Blue Ballers needed to jump up another division and they might burn through D5. 

 

 

 

• Remember, if you feel like you’re not getting enough publicity here, you can always email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know why we should be spotlighting you and your team. 

 

 

 

• A mostly drama free Week 2 has started us down the path of a fantastic Spring 2026 session! Get your sunscreen out, and leave your ratchet attitudes at home.

 

-GF OUT