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Ayo.

People, let me make something really clear here. For whatever reason, you guys like to come up to me and tell me what you did in your games, who proved The Godfather/Sentinel/Power Couple/Power Rankings/Dave Walter's Beard wrong. As though I'M your access to media in our league. You guys were coming to me telling me podcast stuff when I was literally 3 sessions removed from being on it regularly. Let me help y'all out - THIS. IS. THE. ONLY. ARTICLE. I. WRITE. The Rant. Dassit. Nothing else. I have always put my actual name on anything I write in this league so there's no guessing or mistakes. Yet some of you mealy-mouthed jabronies (not to be confused with the actual R4 squad) keep coming to me. Telling me "Yeah! You were wrong!" On anything that isn't in the rant is a dog barking at the moon. It don't matter, kids. Funny thing is, you're talking to me while the subject(s) of your reactions is/are standing adjacent. No, none of it is Topper, either. And no, if I do or don't know - I ain't talking. As many secrets as you guys KNOW I know about y'all - what makes you think I'm snitchin'??

Just be clear. This is THE ONLY dedicated article I write. 

Now on to other things. 

I was gonna review the week, as I saw a ton of games and got a real lay of the land. But this Sentinel character stole my thunder there, so that plan is out the window. F**k. I will say this - Title Shot is aptly named. But the thing is - none of you really know why. I tried to tell a few of you you're going to find out - and you will. Don't believe me. I ain't snitchin'. Just know that's time for y'all to pay the ferryman - and the ferryman looks and awful lot like Rogo...and Tommy...and DEVOTRON (let's be clear here - I made up that nickname originally, with additional props to Dylan and Paul Johnson)...

I was mad hyped to see more and more people show up this week! Big Mike was back reffing. Meg "MEGATRON" Scheeler made and appearance. Jill Iacono (sorry, I don't know her new last name yet). Pete! Jon McGrath! Big Paul! Jeremy Burr! Brian Ferger (that's my quarterback, y'all - my quarterback!)! Jess McAndrew! Sarah Donagher! TAYLOR PAGANO!!! Good to see so many people showing up week in and week out. That definitely makes me smile. 

Speaking of which - I'll smile more when the weather is warmer, and I don't have ref issues. So you guys can stop asking why the scowl - I don't even know I'm doing it. But if you want to know when I don't look that way - The Build doesn't look sour when his mind is at ease. Thus, one can deduce my mind hasn't been at ease. See how easy that was to figure out?

Since this Sentinel person likes to steal my intended topics, I won't talk about how awesome Dean from Peachy Platoon played - but I WILL note the diminutive little bottle rocket I saw running around for them. I don't know WHO that woman is, but she's tiny, fast and FIERCE. She could be the new Molly Morgan (meaning Molly was tearing it up quietly for a good number of seasons before the rest of you caught up with how good she is)...

I need to find out her name. For now, she's just Bottle Rocket

Where TF is Hitman Hearn??

 

Shout out to Todd Nixon for hearing me call out what a rule was, then highlighting said rule when players decided to argue it and showing that I said the rule almost word for word. Thanks for having my back, Todd - and guys, stop challenging me on rules I helped decide. SMH. 

Classy touch with Lenny's jersey on the chair, PE. Classy as hell. I love the jerseys, too. 

Shout out to Billy for telling me my interpretation of a rule was wrong - and being RIGHT. Yikes (the only people who tend to know the rules better than me consistently are refs).

There's a whole quiet little bumper crop of new ladies in our league who are all fast, petite and...quiet. Hmm. Where are you dudes finding these new players that we all can't scout until it's too late? Is there a softball or volleyball pool of women that are small speedsters I don't know about??

Talking about "B's Brother" more than B is like talking about the kid who got shot more than the guy who pulled the trigger. I'm old school - I always respect THE SHOOTER. 

I know some of you think your dogs are family. That's cool - leave your family at home where they belong. #nodogsallowed

I re-thought my position and truly examined the components. And I came to the conclusion that my good buddy Travis is out of his f**king gourd. #teamDEANNAforlife

Hey Bocc - when I say #teamdeanna, please recognize that Baby Bernal's name isn't spelled with an "e"...

Oh - we're just gonna ignore that Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown are about to play each other with both squads undefeated, huh? Okay. Shout out to Joey - broke my heart to see her in a cast. (Psst - I kinda adore Joey. She talks hella sh** and is really good. Don't tell anybody.)

Hey - when I tell you I don't watch the NFL or game of thrones? That isn't a cue for you to tell me more about either thing. I don't watch cuz I don't give a f**k - if you like hearing me tell you that in person, knock yourself out...

Ladies' teams are a combined 6-1 in the league thus far. Not too shabby. 

I'm cussing a lot more in this article this week, ain't I? Oh well...

Katie Salisbury is currently the frontrunner for female MVP in my way-too-early-to-tell award race. But there's an unstoppable force of nature that may challenge that if this past Saturday was any indication...

I'm not drinking any shots. I don't care what the occasion is, whose birthday it is, etc. Stop asking me. 

I miss the DJs soooooo much. You guys' taste in music is trash. You play the same playlist year in and year out. Billions of songs have been created, with an entire hot 100 chart that comes out weekly, and various algorithms on the different musical platforms we have at our fingertips - and yet you guys are stuck in backyard karaoke mode literally for the past 2 years. The only person who I've ever heard consistently play decent music off a speaker here is Cory Turner. This past Saturday was absurdly caca. 

I won't call any of you out by names. But Topper's got more heart and moxie than a bunch of you people who want to hide your teams in lower divisions because you're scared to compete. He hung right in there with the defending champs. Shout out to Topper for wanting to play the best to BE the best. 

I hope Alex is okay. A pulled groin is painful.

Blind item - I see some of y'all backsliding with your exes and ex-hookups. I just don't say nothin'. #gossip

Thank you guys for having fun without acting too crazy. I notice it and appreciate it. 

If you haven't joined the Telegram app yet, please do. It's easy, and it's the best way to find out about stuff going on with the league. Do it right from your phone. I'm honestly a bit addicted to it now. https://telegram.me/toppersports

See y'all Saturday. Look for me - I'll be in the cut. 

- Rameer AKA "THE BUILD"

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