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- Written by Patrick McGovern
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Published: 03 October 2019
- Created: 03 October 2019
- Hits: 4899
Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, Week 6 is in the record books. The calendar has officially turned to October in the Year of Our Lord 2019. It pains me to say this, but there are only TWO weeks remaining in the regular season for the Fall 2019 Session. And even though we only have but a few games remaining, man do they ever matter! Playoff races are far from decided. Seeding is all over the place. The TSL is, as usual, a scrambled mess with nobody truly knowing just how everything is going to play out. What does that mean for us?
It’s going to be VERY fun to watch it all play out.
Teams that were looking good a few weeks ago don’t look so good anymore. Teams we had questions about have answered them, emphatically. Other teams that seemed like something was missing are getting really hot right now. There are some teams out there that I don’t think anyone wants to see lining up against them, when a few weeks ago that may not have been the case.
The great tragedy that is a TSL season is almost in the books. I always say it’s a tragedy because by the time the smoke clears, only six of our 47 contenders for Social Co-Ed Football immortality will achieve the success that some can only dream of. Only the Special Six will walk into the banquet in the winter, knowing that they’re champions, and the rest of us can only bow to them. That means 39 other teams will have nothing to do but hang their heads in shame, knowing that they just quite weren’t good enough, and they’ll have to go back to the drawing board.
Who is playing the best football right now? Who has the best shot at taking home the coveted Topper Trophy as division champions? Let’s take a look at all of that fun, and more, in this week’s article.
D1:
The Contenders:
Eyes Downtown, Marketing Mayors, Public Enemy
That Middle Zone That Isn’t Nearly As Bad As Being Gryffindor:
Tight Ends In Motion
Gryffindor:
Gryffindor
Last Week’s Scores:
Eyes Downtown 37, Marketing Mayors 29
Not a ton of action this weekend in D1 with a game being cancelled. Eyes Downtown beat the defending champions by a score, but I already heard (Okay, I read the QB Power Rankings, because it’s EXCELLENT) that Dalfonso wasn’t in at QB, so you can’t fully read much into this. D1 needs to be appreciated more. Yes, Gryffindor is having a horrible season, but they just got to the division, and I really hope they stay there for the Spring. It’s not easy leaping into our highest division and to just expect to compete ASAP is a fool’s errand. Just ask Tight Ends In Motion. They’ve been in the division for a while now and they’re still figuring it out. They get better each year (as their never ending QB issues seem to have finally worked themselves out, although no offense to Mike McKenrick, I’m always going to be #TeamSeth) and they’re on the cusp of really making a splash in D1. The biggest issue for them is just how good the top 3 teams in this division truly are. Public Enemy isn’t on a giant winning streak, but they’re still smart as hell. They’ve had semi-issues with attendance (Most notably Mike Boccio’s 17 week absence with a “boo boo”) this season, but no team is more effective with their full squad. They even added another layer of depth by finally getting Cheryl and Heather to accept another female in the fold, and the work of Misty Himes has added another dimension to PE’s game. The tiny little spark plug is secretly one of the fastest girls in the league, which, when she’s rushing the QB, she’s almost always disrupting their timing and making them adjust. They’re slow playing her in terms of getting her more involved in the offense (It’s incredibly hard NOT to put Cheryl and Heather on the field every single time) but given more time to develop she can become a force until Cole’s arm finally falls off by 2047. Eyes Downtown is the current favorites and quite frankly they’re playing some of the best football in the entire league still. There isn’t much more to say about Bobby’s squad: they’ve been dialed in pretty much all season. Beth and Joey are a formidable female pair, and everyone already knows just how good the guys on that team are as well. But what about our defending champions? They’re also just cruising along, waiting for the playoffs. Cory Turner has been watching the weather reports and reading the farmer’s almanac more than anyone (as is tradition) and is prepped to have his team ready to defend the crown. We know about their QB, everyone has heard of the legend of Andy Smith, and girls could only hope to be as good as Julie, but what about a sort of secret weapon like Andrew Bermel? Sure, if you’ve played against the Mayors, you’ve seen him just be a consistently good player. He’s the type of guy any team taking a run at the championship needs. He’ll do whatever is asked of him, but he won’t gripe about it. He doesn’t NEED the ball, but he’ll still score on you without a problem. He’ll go out and proceed to shut down teams on defense as well. He may not get the publicity as much, but shout out to you Mr. Bermel, your efforts aren’t completely unnoticed.
This Week’s Games:
There are NO D1 Games this week. A few teams will play in Crossover games with D2 teams, and I’ll cover those in the next section.
D2:
The Contenders:
HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, A&A, Peachy Platoon
The “We’re Here Too, Don’t Sleep on Us” Teams:
Dilfs, Slytherin That End Zone
The “Is it Spring Yet?” Teams:
Bullet Club, Energy Buff
The Others:
We Back Schilling ‘Em Softly
Last Week’s Games:
Bullet Club 25, Energy Buff 22
A&A 45, Dilfs 15
HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 44, Peachy Platoon 21
Energy Buff 45, Slytherin That End Zone 41
Slytherin That End Zone 36, Schilling ‘Em Softly 31
Well, We Back is not back. They were a joke from the beginning and, not surprisingly, they’re out of the league. That’s a shame because word was out that the few people that actually DID show up for them were cool people, and we’re sorry for them. But, life goes on. As always, the TSL had a plan. The Breakfast Club champions were asked to fill in, and fill in they did, sort of. A hybrid version of our Spring BC champions stepped into play out the season, and if they’re anything they’re a fun team to play with/against. They would go on to lose to Slytherin this week, but multiple reports suggested they didn’t really take the game too seriously. Which is fine, they’re here to be competitive and fun. Bullet Club and Energy Buff are two teams that really had higher hopes for the season, but before you knew it, they needed to consult the USL more often than anything else. BC won their game this week, but all that really helped decide is which juggernaut they might get to play in the first round. Energy Buff was pretty much made up of mostly sub list players I hear (although they DID go about it the right way, props to Eric for not breaking any rules, it isn’t hard people) and they competed hard. Special Guest QB Matty Ice threw a game ending pick in the end zone to lose to Bullet Club, and then Special Guest QB Ricky Austin came through with a come from behind win against Slytherin. If the Dilfs had any championship aspirations, my oh my did A&A extinguish those flames of hope. A 30 point beatdown really put the stamp on things for that division in terms of showing that there’s a clear line between 3rd and 4th place. Now let’s get to the MAIN EVENT. UNCLE. F’ING. TOPPER. Team Topper has a great defense, we’ve known that, and if you didn’t just ask them, they’ll tell you. But we questioned that statement based on what was known as a weak schedule. The real test was there with the Platoon, and let me tell you, my reporters from the field had nothing else to say about this game other than “it said the Platoon scored 21, but Topper threw a pick 6”. That means the defense held the Platoon to 14 points on its own! Topper was slinging it, and word is he went to Europe to get the same blood treatments Kobe Bryant was getting to extend his career. Whatever it was, it worked. Team Topper was tremendous here, and it set up a brilliant showdown with A&A for the first overall seed in the playoffs this week. Speaking of that…
This Week’s Games:
HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs A&A (+7) – PLUS SEVEN? WHO MADE THESE LINES?!?! The truth of the matter is, Las Vegas does it. But for real, the ONLY reason this game isn’t “even” is because Matty Ice is going to be jet setting to another comic convention (as he does once a season it seems) and he won’t be at the game. He actually emailed me specifically to let me know a lot about how great he is, but he also mentioned that A&A has never won a single game without him. As much as I’d like A&A to win simply because of that, this might be the worst possible matchup for them to try to do so without their leader. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 10
D1 CROSSOVER GAMES !
Tight Ends In Motion vs A&A (+10) – It only gets worse for A&A this week. What a HUGE weekend it would’ve been for Matty to actually like, be here. His emails to me claimed that it’s a travesty that he’s only ranked #4 on the Power Rankings, and you’d think going 2-0 against Team Topper and TEIM would’ve helped him finally jump up the list? But no, he ran away from the challenge. This would’ve been a fun game with both squads at 100%, but I just don’t see it being close now. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 10
Public Enemy vs HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (EVEN) – BUT THIS GAME WILL MAKE UP FOR IT ALL. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Lenny Bowl is ON. Team Topper is one of the hottest teams in the game right now, and they’re catching PE at the right time. This game is going to be the best of the day, I can feel it. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 2
Peachy Platoon vs Schilling ‘Em Softly (+12) – I just don’t know who is going to show up for SES this week, as a few of their players aren’t going to be at the fields or they have other games. On top of all of that, Peachy has to be feeling pretty bothered by their loss to Team Topper, and as a result, is going to take out their frustrations and remind everyone of WHO THEY ARE in this game. If the Platoon doesn’t go for 50 points here, I’d be shocked. PEACHY PLATOON BY 15
D3:
The Contenders:
All We Do Is Quinn, No Punt Intended
The “We Need To Make An Adjustment Or Two” Teams:
Sticky Bandits, Jabronies, Frodo Swaggins
The “HERE WE COME” Team:
3rd and Schlong
The “Tough Out Because We’re Getting It Together” Team:
End Game, Puckett All-Stars
The “Battle Hard To Not Miss The Playoffs” Teams:
Vaspian, Ultimate Warriors
Last Week’s Games:
Puckett All-Stars 41, Ultimate Warriors 28
Frodo Swaggins 43, Ultimate Warriors 26
End Game 38, Frodo Swaggins 36
No Punt Intended 39, All We Do Is Quinn 26
3rd and Schlong 41, Jabronies 8
No Punt Intended 43, Sticky Bandits 13
Sticky Bandits 44, Vaspian 18
Well Quinn, there’s a new contender in town, and they’re called No Punt Intended. NPI had the best week of any TSL team, smacking around two of the contenders for the throne and really being able to do whatever they wanted on the fields this week. While beating a Sticky Bandits team that is somehow cycling through QBs like they’re TEIM at this point is one thing, walking up to the Quinners and punching them straight in the mouth is another. This division felt decided not too long ago, but now its up in the air. Is Quinn going to blow another championship? Are they going to become “that team” that can’t show up when it matters most? Is the potential love connection involving one of their lovely ladies distracting them that much? All of these questions NEED answers. Looking at that second group, what happened? Sticky, Jabronies, and Frodo all seemed like they were more than fantastic early in the season, and now they’re just all sorts of out of sorts. Each one of those teams feels like something’s misfiring, and it couldn’t be happening at a worse time. You know, just before playoffs. At this point, I don’t think any of these teams will be able to compete with the top two, nor does it feel like they’re guaranteed to beat anyone below them. Scotty Too Hotty needs to get his head on straight. I know that Frodo was shorthanded this week in the loss to End Game, but that’s a game they need to win. The Jabronies got absolutely punished by the division’s hottest team not named NPI: 3rd and Schlong! The AGELESS WONDER that is Scott Keller Sr is slinging it like it’s the Roaring 20’s all over again. There’s no coincidence that as soon as 40 Year Plan Guy came back to the fields, 3AS got their stuff together. Just his return alone has brought the smile back to Katie Keller’s face and gets her heart beating faster. And she’s playing like she actually cares again. People need to stop sleeping on Nicole Keller too. Every season people tend to forget just how good she is as well. She doesn’t get the publicity of the rest of her family, but she’s a hell of a player. The Ultimate Warriors picked a bad time to play some of the worst football they played all season. Going 0-2 wasn’t really an option for them, and they now need to win out to have any hope of making the playoffs. Vaspian is slowly starting to come along, but it might be too late in the season for that to happen. Kevin and Lucas were EXCELLENT on the podcast this week, and calling out AWDIQ is a little ballsy even, but this team is only going to get better the more they play. End Game got a huge win over Frodo this week, which had to be a relief to Dave and the various Vons on the team. They play hard, and they’ve worked even harder. It has to be refreshing to see the fruits of their labors finally coming in. Finally, Puckett is Puckett-ing. A team that was once winless has now won two straight and are currently sitting in the 8th seed for the playoffs. Just like last year, when they won the D4 title.
This Week’s Games:
Ultimate Warriors vs Vaspian (+10) – We don’t know who is going to throw for Vaspian in this game, but it isn’t going to be Lucas Kramer, as he announced on the podcast that he (and many of Vaspian actually) won’t be at the game this week. That’s a shame for them because this game has HUGE playoff stakes. A win here gives either team a hell of a tiebreaker over the other. After a tough week for the Warriors, it seems like they’re going to catch a break here. ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 14
Jabronies vs Vaspian (+21) – The worst time to not have your team in town. The Jabronies are here to make up for last week’s embarrassment, and it seems like a depleted Vaspian squad may just be what the doctor ordered. JABRONIES BY 24
Jabronies vs End Game (+8) – As I said earlier, End Game is coming together and heating up right before the playoffs. I don’t forsee them being in danger of missing the playoffs, which means the teams up top better not underestimate them in the first round of the playoffs. This is going to be a good litmus test for them against the Jabronies, and you can bet that they’ll be prepared. They’ll have a good showing, but I still expect the Jabronies to pull this out. JABRONIES BY 3
All We Do Is Quinn vs Frodo Swaggins (+10) – Well, Scotty is playing 4D chess here it seems, because there’s zero way he doesn’t talk to Casey this week. Right? I mean, technically she’ll just be counting when she rushes him, but its like she’ll be counting directly to him. He might even say “hey” after she sacks him for the 7th time. Jokes aside, this game should have all of the makings of a potential championship game. It has fun storylines, and two really good teams (when both sides have everyone there, anyway). For this one, Quinn just got beat up by NPI and I can’t fathom them losing again. Meanwhile Frodo seems like they need to figure a lot more out on their side of things. That’s usually a recipe for a loss, eh? ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 12
D4:
The Contenders:
Matty’s Angels, Cunning Stunts, Buffalo Solar Solutions
The Other Half:
Full Throttle, Mountain Dew Me, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers
Last Week’s Games:
Mountain Dew Me 22, Full Throttle 6
Matty’s Angels 66, Full Throttle 22
Buffalo Solar Solutions 45, Mountain Dew Me 20
It was just a nightmare of a Saturday for Full Throttle, as they were outscored by a combined 88-8 in their two games this week. Things just don’t seem to be going right for them as the season wears on, and it seems that their offense really just can’t get it together. After another rough go at it in D4, they may be looking at D5 in the spring, which can be a good thing! Mountain Dew Me may only be 2-5 in their first foray into the TSL, but they seem to be getting better each and every week as they adjust to the speed and the rules of the league. Matty’s Angels jumped back from their first loss of the season and took out their frustrations on FT this week. I loved hearing on the podcast that the guys from En Fuego were drafting different Angels and playing fantasy on the sidelines. Buffalo Solar Solutions took care of business this week, and they sit firmly in second place in the division. QB Andy has been one of the better players in the league in the second half, and last week was a huge eye opener for the TSL. A big reason for the BSS’ coming out party has been “The Best Girl You’ve Never Heard Of”, Caitlyn Mason. She played a big role in the upset against the Angels. She’s super fast, and even if she isn’t going to lead any “tallest person in the room” lists anytime soon, it doesn’t matter. Her blend of speed, route running, and her sticky hands have made her the secret weapon of the BSS squad, and well, the secret’s out guys. Sorry. The Cunning Stunts didn’t play last week, but they shouldn’t be counted out. This is a “what have you done for me lately?” league, and as a result, people are forgetting about the defending D5 champs. Finally, Uncle Rico’s is just sort of, there. This isn’t the season they planned, I’m sure of it, but things are trending upwards for them.
This Week’s Games:
Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Full Throttle (+8) – Uncle Rico’s gets the perfect team to help them cure what ails them, as Full Throttle is trending down. URTT will look to get back to their winning ways, and a big reason they’ll get to do that will be Jackee Thompson. Jackee has been around the league for a minute now, but she doesn’t always get the credit she deserves. She may not be classified as a speed demon, but her hands are some of the best in the league. If she has a QB that can get the ball inside her impressive catch radius, she’s going to grab it. She runs fantastic routes to get open, and she uses her background in basketball to know just how to use her body to gain separation from a defender. If Uncle Rico’s is going to get back on track, feeding her would be a great place to start. UNCLE RICOS TIME TRAVELERS BY 7
Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) – Here’s a big game for the division. Buffalo Solar is a week removed from upsetting Matty’s Angels, and now they get the chance to prove that all of this pub they’re getting is well deserved. The Stunts should be ready to go for this game, and BSS won’t catch them by surprise. The hype is real. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 3
Cunning Stunts vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (+10) – While I think Uncle Rico’s is on the upswing, I don’t think they’re at a “we can beat anyone in the Top 3” level right now. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12
Matty’s Angels vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (EVEN) – ROUND 2. FIGHT. But in reality, the Angels won’t have Matty to QB them, so they’ll be someone else’s Angels this week. I’m sure they’ll get a capable replacement for him, but this result can’t fully matter. However, if BSS can defeat the Stunts, they’ll be primed for an extremely rare gender team sweep. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 4
Matty’s Angels vs Mountain Dew Me (+10) – Mountain Dew Me played the Angels extremely well for the first half in their first game a few weeks back before it all fell apart. If they learned anything from that game, this is the perfect time for them to show the world. MATTYS ANGELS BY 9
D5:
The Kings Of The Hill:
Over Compensators
The Contenders to the Throne:
Practice Squad, En Fuego
The Middle Tier:
Hope N Ruin, Hung Buffalo, Come From Behind
The Thank God Everyone Makes Playoffs Level:
Cobblestone, Pink Pteratacos
Last Week’s Games:
Over Compensators 28, Practice Squad 14
Hope N Ruin 41, Cobblestone 28
En Fuego 33, Hung Buffalo 13
Hope N Ruin 43, Come From Behind 20
Come From Behind 38, Pink Pteratacos 36
The Pink Pteratacos had their best chance to win a game this season, and was instead handed a hard fought loss to CFB. Cobblestone keeps on trying, but I keep hearing that Darryl is still not showing up for half of these games. I really feel for them at this point. Hope N Ruin is doing what they always do and they’re getting hot before the playoffs. Yes, they got two wins over teams that are a combined 3-9, but the point is they showed up and got the job done both times in convincing fashion. En Fuego reminded anyone who may have forgotten that there’s a clear D5 divide this season with an easy 20 point win against Hung Buffalo. The story of the day, obviously, was Over Compensators taking on Practice Squad, and while they won, it was only by a score of 28-14. Practice Squad truly hung in there. The OC took the win though, and since nobody has really come close to them, they’re getting their own tier. Yes, I think En Fuego OR Practice Squad COULD beat them in the playoffs, I just wouldn’t bet on it. All three of these teams will look great beating on each other in D4 in the Spring.
This Week’s Games:
Over Compensators vs. Pink Pteratacos (+30) – It’s the highest line I’ve ever had to call here. The OC ripped through the PPs 50-0 in their last meeting, and I can’t fathom how this gap may have closed. Yes, the Pteratacos have played better recently, but The OC is otherworldly at this point. Larry, I’m calling you out. You better beat this spread. OVER COMPENSATORS BY 31
En Fuego vs Cobblestone (+15) – En Fuego is only half as good as The OC, and Cobblestone is better than the Pteratacos, so that’s why we find ourselves with large line that isn’t quite as big as others. Cobblestone is still fighting hard, and you love to see that. Especially when you remember they have some of the best jerseys in league history. But En Fuego is on a mission to get to The OC again. These two teams actually have to play each other twice this week, once at 11, and again at 1. Either way: EN FUEGO BY 16
Hung Buffalo vs Hope N Ruin (EVEN) – These are two pretty similar teams. HNR is a little bit of a winning streak. Hung Buffalo may score a little less, but they also allow less points as well. This is going to be a game of two even teams just going to war, and it should be fun to watch. I wouldn’t be surprised to see this be a 29-29 tie or something, but since I have to pick: HOPE N RUIN BY 1
Practice Squad vs Come From Behind (+12) – Practice Squad is gifted an easier game this week after having to battle the OC last Saturday. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 10
D6:
The Contenders:
Zack Attack, TMA, Bi-Polar Express, Graves Bros, pAssless Chaps
The With A Little More Practice, We’ll Get There Teams:
Wild Oak Beard Co, The Replacements
The Pretenders:
Tater Tots, Shattered Dreams, Blitzkrieg
Last Week’s Games:
pAssless Chaps 65, Blitzkrieg 13
Wild Oak Beard Co. 32, Shattered Dreams 8
The Replacements 38, The Bi-Polar Express 36
TMA 31, Zack Attack 16
Graves Bros 52, Tater Tots 0
TMA 44, Tater Tots 6
Oh those loveable Tater Tots. Someone cooked them for too long, and instead of being crispy and delicious, they’re burned and sad. A combined 96-6 doubleheader will do that to you. They’re still rising stars in the league, but man that’s a bad day. Speaking of bad days, Blitzkrieg had yet another one, as they allowed 65 points to the Chaps, who are just gearing up for the playoffs. They’ve allowed almost 300 points on the season, and are reaching out to Rex Ryan on Twitter to see if he’s going to be able to help with the defense. Shattered Dreams brings up the final team in the Pretenders category, and while a 32-8 loss isn’t nearly as bad as the others, it should still be concerning that they started the game with only 3 males this week. Joe K ended up filling in and playing QB (thus the lack of scoring), and it seems like they’ve had attendance issues more often than not. I still don’t know what they are. On the flip side, WOBCO went out and took care of business on the field yet again. The Replacements came out and upset The BPX after going down early in the game. They still have some fight left in them as we near the playoffs. TMA were the big winners this week, going 2-0 and getting a big win against Zack Attack, and moving into second place in the standings. Graves Bros were one of the teams that beat up on the Tots, cruising to a 52-0 victory.
This Week’s Games:
pAssless Chaps vs Zack Attack (EVEN) – The first part of our double main event for D6 this week focuses on the current first place in the standings team (Zack Attack) versus the team that lost in the championship game last season (the Chaps). This should be a hell of a battle as teams play for positioning in the playoffs. The Chaps have been rolling as of late, while it feels like the Attack just isn’t. PASSLESS CHAPS BY 10
pAssless Chaps vs Wild Oak Beard Co. (+8) - This is a big game for WOBCO. They’re going to be catching the Chaps after what should be a hell of a game against the Attack, while WOBCO is coming in fresh. We need to know more about WOBCO for sure, but this win will all but assure them of the playoffs. I think we’ll see them compete hard, but ultimately fall. PASSLESS CHAPS BY 3
TMA vs The Bi-Polar Express (+8) – It’s rare for us to have to give points to the gender team here, but TMA is the worst matchup for BPX. If you can’t recall, BPX loses 4 girls to TMA every single time they play. That’s the only downside for grabbing the amazing foursome of females from TMA. But as amazing as TMA’s girls are, let’s give a shout out to one of the lesser recognized TMAers out there. You’ve heard of Ferger being great, Nick getting burned so badly they needed to get a “good” Nick (or so I’m hearing), Ron Webber is fantastic, but what about Rob Rummings? He’s more commonly known as “Drunk Meg’s Brother”, but Rob deserves some love too. He get a little lost with all of the TSL Celebrities on TMA, but Rob has really good hands, and even some deceptive speed. He’s not afraid of going for the jump ball, and runs pretty crisp routes as well. And no, he’s not afraid to talk smack to anyone that irks him, as we saw the last time these two teams played. Look for another good game for TMA as BPX continues their slight downward trend. TMA BY 13
Shattered Dreams vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) – THIS IS ESSENTIALLY A LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH. Both teams wear red. Both teams are reeling. Both teams struggle on defense. If Shattered Dreams is to make any sort of run to the postseason, this is a game they MUST win. That means getting their players there and working together instead of against each other. If SD is going to figure out how to score points this season, they have to score against this porous BK Defense. It starts this week. SHATTERED DREAMS BY 3
Wild Oak Beard Co. vs The Replacements (+1) – I put these two in the same tier, but I slightly like WOBCO a little bit more than the Replacements. While The Replacements did steal a big win from BPX last week, they aren’t the hotter team right now. WOBCO is. I look forward to seeing the results of this game, but I think WOBCO is a little more dialed in right now as a whole. WILD OAK BEARD CO BY 2
Tater Tots vs Shattered Dreams (+3) – Another HUGE game for D6 with some playoff tiebreaking implications on the line. The Tots get a slight edge based on their ability to (usually) score a little more often than SD has. This game is going to be a slugfest. TATER TOTS BY 5
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
1. What happened to Tots vs Fries?!?!! The game isn’t on the schedule, but I have direct emails (you can email me anytime at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.) that suggested the makeup game between the Chaps and the Tots would be this week! There’s supposed to be a bet on the line people! I spoke to league management however, and it seems like this game just isn’t on the schedule. Hopefully it’ll be made up next week. If it IS played for some reason, PASSLESS CHAPS BY 10, but tots are still better.
2. How many TSLers are we going to miss this weekend? The word has been floating around that MANY TSLers are going to be out of town, with most of them going to Nashville for the Bills-Titans game. How will this affect the games on the fields? Will the bar be boring?
3. Is Buffalo Solar Solutions for real? My sources say yes. The upset of Matty’s Angels was a shock to most of the TSL fanbase, but you know who it wasn’t a shock to? BSS. They’ve been prepping to take this division since some incredibly talented writer for the website pointed out that they didn’t have a chance. I’m really rooting for them to sweep both gender teams this weekend and make D4 so much more interesting.
4. Is Costume Bowl happening? YES YES YES. I have word from the Costume Bowl committee that the game will take place after all of the championship games on October 26th, assuming the weather is nice and there is enough interest. If you want to play you can email me here, or you can find Joe K or Emily Curry at the fields!
5. So what happens with D2 now that We Back is gone? Well, the whole point of having Schilling ‘Em Softly was to make sure that nobody missed a game during the regular season due to a weak forfeit or something. So, basically, whoever finishes the regular season in first place in D2 will now be given a bye in the first round of the playoffs, per Topper. That makes this weekend’s matchup with A&A and Team Topper THAT much more important!
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY
1. Shout out to the guys on Vaspian again. They just sound like they “get it”. The league is in need of newer, younger people who buy in to what this league is all about and I think we’ve got some right there.
2. I’m incredibly saddened that we will be without “Tito’s With Travis” for another week. He’s going to be one of the many TSLers in Nashville this weekend, so that’ll make two straight weeks of no episode of one of our newest little features.
3. Scotty, if you don’t talk to Casey this weekend, the entire league will just look at you with a ton of pity. Step your game up. This is your moment.
4. Here’s this week’s “Best Games to Watch Each Hour”:
a. 10:00 – Public Enemy vs HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO – Field 2
b. 11:00 – Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Cunning Stunts – Field 4
c. 12:00 – TMA vs The Bi-Polar Express – Field 5
d. 1:00 – Frodo Swaggins vs All We Do Is Quinn – Field 2
e. 2:00 – Hung Buffalo vs Hope N Ruin – Field 2
5. While Topper made the correct call in moving the season up a few weeks, I got multiple reports this week that the fields are starting to deteriorate. It was only a matter of time before they got muddied up, but it’s a lot better knowing that there’s only going to be 4 weeks of wear and tear on them instead of 6-7. Get yourself some cleat cleaners.
6. WHAT A WEEKEND FOR RETURNS TO THE TSL! This week we saw James T Hearn on the battlefield with Schilling ‘Em Softly. Not to be outdone, the most honorable prophet, Second Shift Dave Walter has made his glorious return. But wait! Was that Award Winning Tommy Hughes out there as well? These people are legends in this league, and it’s always that much better to have them with us.
7. Speaking of things that are made better when they’re there: Shout out to DJ Jimmy and Five Star Entertainment for coming out to the fields yet again and making things better with the tunes that he plays for us. It’s just a different atmosphere when the music is playing.
8. The TSL Power Rankings is consistently hotly debated. My email box exploded this week, mostly by Matty Ice giving lots of details on why HE should be much higher that #4 on the ranks. Yet at the same time he’s no showing the biggest week of the season for A&A. Hmm.
9. Can we get a shout out for B? B sometimes gets lost in the shuffle, but he’s been a solid ref for quite some time now. While he’s not as famous as his Brother, (B’s Brother) B finally got a shot to sling the rock one more time, and even though he’s rusty, he still was able to lead Come From Behind to a 38-36 victory. That’s awesome news. Congrats B!
10. If I could redo the divisions RIGHT NOW into an 8-8-8-8-8-6 format to make it all ‘even’, it’d look something like this: (I’m not including Schilling ‘Em Softly)
D1: Public Enemy, Marketing Mayors, Gryffindor, Tight Ends In Motion, Eyes Downtown, A&A, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, Peachy Platoon
D2: Slytherin That End Zone, All We Do Is Quinn, No Punt Intended, Bullet Club, Energy Buff, Dilfs, Frodo Swaggins, Sticky Bandits
D3: 3rd and Schlong, End Game, Matty’s Angels, Cunning Stunts, Buffalo Solar Solutions, Puckett All-Stars, Jabronies, Vaspian
D4: Ultimate Warriors, Over Compensators, En Fuego, Mountain Dew Me, Practice Squad, Hung Buffalo, Hope N Ruin, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers
D5: TMA, The Bi-Polar Express, Graves Bros, Wild Oak Beard Co., pAssless Chaps, Come From Behind, Zack Attack, Full Throttle
D6: Tater Tots, Blitzkrieg, Shattered Dreams, Cobblestone, Pink Pteratacos, The Replacements
These would be some pretty interesting divisions I think. Agree? Disagree? How would YOU do it? Email me.
Week 7 is here! Things are exciting as our regular season is winding down to a close. As playoff spots are on the line, I know that things can get a bit more “ramped up” in terms of testosterone (although Ladies, you can be little jerks too when you want to be) so let us all try to remember that this is a FUN game, and we shouldn’t ruin it by being jerks to one another. Keep your emotions in check and be safe out there.
The race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is almost over. Where are YOU going to finish?
-GF