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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality has begun, and the time for “dusting off the cobwebs” and “shaking off the rust” is over. It’s Week 3, and the TSL Fall 2023 season is now entering November. The weather should start getting a little cooler as the leaves begin to change color, pumpkin spice everything begins to fill the air, and white women begin their most basic of transformations: large sweaters and ugg boots will soon be everywhere, and yes, they’re going to want to do “Fall Things”. (I say this of course, with the word that Buffalo is going to jump back up to 80 degrees this Saturday, and should be approaching 90 next week from my Weather Channel app.)

 

Keeping with the theme though, there's quite a few things to “Live, Laugh, and Love” about the TSL Fall 2023 season so far after two weeks of play. 

Live: These teams aren’t quite playing up to their potential, but it hasn’t been all bad. As of right now, they can “live” with the results. 

 

 

• Losing Streak/Mavericks: Jordan’s teams are 2-4 overall, but getting Eyes Downtown twice already was a tough schedule, and the Mavericks, even at 0-2, have two 1 score losses to the top two teams in the division (so far). Plus they really seem to like each other. All good things ahead for both these squads.

 

 

 

• Cle-Avengers Assemble: 0-2, but after a week off in Week 2 look for this talented squad to get back to winning football games. 

 

 

 

• Vaspian: 1-1 and got a nice win over Lets Get Reccked in Week 2, should be trending upwards from here.

 

 

 

• Let’s Get Reccked: 0-2, but both games have been without their starting QB. 

 

 

 

• BAADies: 2-2, but way too talented to just go away. A third straight doubleheader this week for the girls, who have beaten the two worst teams in the division, and lost to the top 2. It’ll be interesting to see where they end up. 

 

 

Laugh: These teams are not having a good start to the season and if things don’t change quickly, it could be a long September. 

 

 

• Not So Sticky: 0-3, and have been playing mostly uninspired football it seems. 

 

 

 

• Legends: It’s Week 3 and they haven’t won a game yet. 

 

 

 

• Practice Squad: 0-2 isn’t the start they were looking for, but they get B back this week. Even still, the doubts from the spring have started to pop back into their heads. 

 

 

 

• Father Baker: 0-2 to start, and I hate putting them in the “laugh” zone, but unless they figure things out quickly, this could be a rough first go for them. 

 

 

 

• Passing While Intoxicated: 0-2 already and they were soundly outplayed last week. Hopefully they get their heads in the game and remember who they are. 

 

 

 

• Colorado Mike, specifically, is 0-5. 

 

 

 

• The Schedule Maker: Multiple teams haven’t even played a game yet, and some have their season half over. For shame. 

 

 

Love: These teams are very clearly firing on all cylinders right now, and couldn’t have asked for a better start to a season. 

 

 

• Can’t Touch This: 3-0, On top of D2, and didn’t just beat up on slouches either. 

 

 

 

• Cunning Stunts: 3-0, running D4, and scoring 52.3 points per game against their top D4 rivals. Absolutely brutalizing the league. 

 

 

 

• Eyes Downtown: 3-0, and looking like the best team in the TSL. 

 

 

 

• Wanderers: 2-0 and looking to be a top team in the very difficult D3. 

 

 

 

• Bullet Club: See Wanderers. 

 

 

 

• GUCCI: 3-0. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and that’s exactly what we’re seeing here as Kelly is just dunking on her competition right now. After GUCCI blew that playoff game last season, you can tell they’re more focused than ever. 

 

 

 

• Creekers: 2-1, but two more wins than all of last season. D5 looks to be the spot for this team for sure. 

 

 

 

• Just Get Open: I hesitate to put a 2-2 team on here, but their captain John reached out to me to let me know that they had a rough Week 1 due to alcohol consumption (which shouldn’t be an issue for ANY TSL franchise), and they’d rebound in Week 2. And rebound they did. Two wins in which they scored 58 and 52 points. If this is the team we’re going to see every week in D6, look out. 

 

And now, for the rest of your regularly scheduled predictions and assorted fun. 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

Sticky Bandits 37, Frodo Swaggins 28

Eyes Downtown 47, Losing Streak 33

Losing Streak 59, Frodo Swaggins 36

 

The Sticky Bandits play their first game of the season and win over Frodo despite being short handed. Eyes Downtown beats Losing Streak again to assert their dominance over the division. Losing Streak takes out their frustrations on Frodo. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits (+3) - Losing Streak has definitely played more games this season than Sticky and should be the more cohesive unit. Rumors persist that Jeff Krol’s fatherhood has caused him to neglect his Sticky duties and the team is in more disarray than usual. Andrew Kicak free agent rumors start to heat up. LOSING STREAK BY 12

 

Eyes Downtown vs Legends (EVEN) - Well, here you have it folks, the absolute biggest game of the day. Eyes Downtown couldn’t be more dialed in and the Legends, again, haven’t won a game yet this season. All jokes aside, here is the measuring stick for both teams to see how they stack up with each other. A win here gives them the edge on the #1 seed in the playoffs, which could end up being a big thing come playoffs. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

 

Legends vs Frodo Swaggins (+17) - Things never get easier for Frodo, ever. The Legends will be coming off a tough game, but if they lose, I imagine they’re going to take it out on Frodo here. LEGENDS BY 10

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

THREAD 38, Freeballers 33

Can’t Touch This 19, Practice Squad 6

Can’t Touch This 45, Mavericks 38

THREAD gets their first victory of the season over a Freeballers squad that looked pretty good with Hogan under center. Once he focuses more on the field than on the refs, they should win a few games. Can’t Touch This proceeded to squeak by a “B-less” Practice Squad before winning a shootout with a banged up Mavericks squad. 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Untouchaballs vs THREAD (+7) - The UTs had a week off after a great Week 1 and they hope to keep the momentum going against a THREAD team that’s remembering they’re pretty good at football when they want to be. If THREAD is going to be a factor in the D2 title picture, this is the litmus test they’re looking for. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

 

Mavericks vs THREAD (EVEN) - The Mavericks seem to have the defensive issues that plagued them last season where they allowed nearly 30 points a game on average. Lucky for them, they can score in bunches. THREAD can definitely take advantage of the holes in the Mavericks D, which will make for a high scoring affair. THREAD BY 1

 

The Untouchaballs vs Can’t Touch This (EVEN) - A lot of not touching going on here. One team is untouchable, and the other you can’t touch. Somebody is going to have to touch someone here, I’m sorry. The second biggest game of the day is right here. These two teams are 5-0, and have been playing excellently. This is the biggest test for CTT, playing D2’s hottest (regular season) team for a few seasons now. CTT better bring their A-game. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 5. 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Vaspian 24, Let’s Get Reccked 16

Wanderers 37, Keller Whales 31

The Family 53, 716 38

Wanderers 43, The Malones 33

 

The Wanderers finally showed up this season and went 2-0 out of the gate, racking up close wins over Keller Whales and The Malones. Vaspian got their first win of the season over Let’s Get Reccked, and The Family put up a LOT of points against a new look 716. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club vs 716 (+7) - 716 just lost 53-38 to The Family, a team Bullet Club beat 32-18. That’s about as much info as we have on these two teams matching up so far. These two teams have played each other in some close ones before, but that was with Derek Pew throwing rockets all over the place, and not the methodical progression that B provides. Bullet Club has talent all over the board, and they’re more consistent than ever. BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

The Family vs Vaspian (+3) - Both teams are 1-1 and looking to move up in the eyes of the league here. Vaspian’s strength has always been their defense, and they’ll have their hands full with a fast, and exciting Family Offense. I think this game will be more of a shootout, and that’s not the type of game Vaspian can keep up in. THE FAMILY BY 13

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs 716 (EVEN) - It’s hard to gauge the Fall 2023 edition of both of these teams right now, as they’ve played a combined 3 games, but NONE have had their starting QB. Assuming Alex and B will both be present, I have to give the slight edge to LGR because, well, they’ve done this before. Many, many times. B will still be adjusting to his new team. LETS GET RECCKED BY 3

 

The Family vs The Malones (EVEN) - Our battle of the D3 “The” teams, who knows what we’ll get here. The Malones hung with the Wanderers, and even if they didn’t win, they showed they could play with them. The Family struggled with Bullet Club, but had no real issues with a new 716 team. I’m going to give The Family a slight edge just for having played an extra game to get acclimated. THE FAMILY BY 2

 

Keller Whales vs The Malones (+6) - The Malones get a pretty hard one on the back end of their doubleheader as the Keller Clan comes to town. KW looks pretty good so far this season, nearly beating another title contender, Wanderers. Damien Keller is already 6 times the QB his father ever was, but he’s only 100th of the QB his grandfather still is. Katie and Nicole are awesome. This team is really good.  I’m sorry I don’t have more to go on for you, The Malones. KELLER WHALES BY 10

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 29, Passing While Intoxicated 20

Cunning Stunts 61, Buffalo Vice 33

Cunning Stunts 52, Passing While Intoxicated 12

Puckett All-Stars 30, Father Baker 10

Travis Henry’s Kids 38, Father Baker 26

 

The Cunning Stunts are simply on fire, dropping 113 points in two games in wins over Buffalo Vice and PWI. Vice would also play PWI and would get a close win, dropping PWI to 0-2. Father Baker debuted and it didn’t go as they hoped, dropping games to Puckett and THK. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice vs TMA (+6) - TMA finally decides to play a game this season, and they get to show off their new toy, Boccio Bernal. Boccio Bernal is a first ballot TSL Hall of Famer, and his presence alone should help TMA significantly, right? It also helps that TMA gets Diana Bernal back after she missed last session with an injury. She was playing some of her best football before she got hurt.  Buffalo Vice loves chucking the football. They’re a good team, and have been for a while. They ran into the Stunts freight train last week, but they should handle TMA no problem. BUFFALO VICE BY 8

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs TMA (+6) - ILF finally plays a game this week too! They’ll get TMA in their first go. These two teams met before, with ILF winning pretty handily if I recall. This should be a pretty good game overall. TMA BY 2

 

Cunning Stunts vs ILF (+14) - But this won’t be. ILF is the next team to be fed to the Stunts juggernaut, and I’m not sure if they can properly plan for them with how ‘in sync’ the ladies are right now. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Puckett All-Stars (EVEN) - A lowkey very good game incoming here. THK handled their business with Father Baker last week, getting into the win column right away. If Langley is a bum (very possible), Puckett takes this in a cake walk with the talent they have across the roster, regardless of who is throwing. (And who IS throwing for Puckett? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me!) But, if he’s calm and on point, we’re in for a treat. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 1

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

GUCCI 46, Goatsack! 32

Goatsack! 22, Not So Sticky 6

BAADies 51, Cobblestone 42

Come From Behind 48, BAADies 19

Creekers 30, Cobblestone 14

 

GUCCI continues to roll, pulling away from a very game Goatsack!, who would go on to beat Not So Sticky right after. The BAADies defeated Darryl and Cobblestone in a high scoring affair before they took the loss to Come From Behind. The Creekers finished up D5 play last week with a win over Cobblestone themselves. 

This Week’s Games:

 

BAADies vs Goatsack! (+8) - The BAADies can’t get enough of doubleheaders it seems, and this week they start off with Goatsack, who looked good in both their games last weekend, despite only being 1-1. As long as the BAADies can minimize mistakes, this one should be theirs for the taking. BAADIES BY 10

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Not So Sticky (+10) - Spinelli’s Plumbing is FINALLY back after a session (and two weeks) off. If you recall, Spinelli’s was one of the highest scoring teams in the TSL for about 5 sessions there. Here’s hoping they pick up right where they left off. Even if Not So Sticky can slow down that offense, they can’t stop it, and they just simply don’t score enough to keep up with Spinelli’s. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 10

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs BAADies (+8) - And the BAADies 6th game of the season is Spinelli’s 2nd. This is a bad matchup for the BAADies simply because of how high powered the offense of Spinelli’s is. With the BAADies still figuring out some things defensively, this isn’t going to be encouraging. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 17

 

GUCCI vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - No, you’re not reading this wrong. Spinelli’s has a TRIPLE header this week, most likely as a result of needing the first two weeks of the season off. If these two teams were both on their first game of the day, I’d tell you to take the over and we’d be seeing a battle. But honestly, I’m just going to use logic here. 80 degrees and sunny day, third straight game for Spinelli’s, third straight game for Nick Hawes throwing (I’m assuming he’s the QB still) and he’s coming in cold (Pro Tip for Spinelli’s: if you’re up or down big in either of the first two games, take him OUT and have someone else throw), and they’re playing a fresh GUCCI team that’s on fire? Oh this is going to be bad. GUCCI BY 13

 

Goatsack! vs Not So Sticky (+10) - These two teams met last week, and Goatsack had little to no issue with NSS. If NSS gets their QB there and they game plan a little bit more, they can pull this one out, but right now nothing about this team is pointing in that direction. GOATSACK! BY 12

 

Come From Behind vs Creekers (+10) - One the one hand, the Creekers have been good this season. They got their first two wins and are looking nice. On the other hand, the teams they beat are the worst two in the division and are a combined 0-6. What stands out though is that they played GUCCI very tough, only losing 27-18. This is another litmus test for our Creek Freaks. Come From Behind is just good. They’ve been good for decades. They seem to be on the same page this season already. This will be tough. COME FROM BEHIND BY 15

 

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - A marquee matchup between two of the best D5 has to offer. A potential D5 title preview is right here and this game shapes up to be absolutely fun. GUCCI got the best of CFB last season, but this is a new session and anything can happen. At the end of the day, I just think GUCCI is currently playing a slight tick better. GUCCI BY 1

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Just Get Open 58, Mighty Drunks 35

Sausage McMuffins 38, Balls Deep 12

Just Get Open 52, Back That Pass Up 8

Balls Deep 36, Back That Pass Up 31

 

Just Get Open announces to the TSL that they’re D6 title contenders after getting revenge on the Mighty Drunks from a week ago before slaughtering BTPU. BTPU would look much, much better in a close loss against Balls Deep, who earlier in the day got beat up a little bit by the McMuffins, who find themselves on top of D6 early on for the second session in a row. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+7) - Blitzkrieg took a week off after a strong 2-0 start and they look to continue their winning ways against an inconsistent Balls Deep team. Balls Deep is 2-1, but they’re only at a +2 point differential. They looked great in a win against the Tuddies, but looked out of place against the McMuffins last week. Then they barely scraped by a BTPU team that hasn’t won a game yet. Which team are they? BLITZKRIEG BY 7

 

Balls Deep vs Pit Harade (+7) - If Balls Deep is inconsistent, so is Pit Harade. PH got smoked by the Mighty Drunks in Week 1 but followed that up immediately with a close loss against Blitzkrieg. Dave Walter has been moving the offense since he took over at QB last season, so I’m guessing they’re more of the team that played BK tough. This should be a close one. BALLS DEEP BY 3

 

Two Tuddies vs Back That Pass Up (+14) - The Tud Buds are back, and they’re looking to rectify this 0-1 start they’ve put themselves into. While I’m sure there were good reasons they lost in Week 1, the last thing they could want to do is give away a game to BTPU before a meeting with the Drunks. If the BTPU plays how they did in their second game last week, and the Tuddies are looking ahead to the next game, an upset could happen. But I don’t see it. TWO TUDDIES BY 17

 

Two Tuddies vs Mighty Drunks (+3) - A classic game between two of the top D6 teams (granted, there may be five top teams in the division) where tiebreakers are on the line. The Tuddies need this game more, but the Drunks have looked excellent, especially on offense. They average 42.3 points per game already in the three they’ve played. After the Tuddies offense was non-existent Week 1, I worry they can’t keep pace. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 8

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Wait, Boccio is actually on TMA? Yeah, you read that right. One of the TSL’s more interesting storylines this season is seeing how much of an effect Boccio joining TMA will have on the team. It’s not often a player who’s won multiple MVPs and perhaps the most D1 titles in history (I have to check on that) leaves D1 to drop to D4 when they can still play at a high level. He wanted to play with his wife, that’s his right. 

• How is that allowed? How is that fair? Well, it isn’t ever going to be fair when a team gets a top player, is it?. However, this isn’t the TMA you might remember. This is the third stage of TMA. There was the fun loving, moonshine drinking, talk a lot of smack and lose in the first round of the playoffs after finishing first in the regular season TMA. Then there was the “We got a bunch of tall guys and figured out how to win” version of TMA that was climbing up the divisions, which might be who you’re thinking they still are. This version of TMA, mind you, was 2-6 and finished in last place in D5. An upset of GUCCI in the playoffs notwithstanding, they didn’t add anyone else but Boccio, and were forced to move up a division to make that happen. You know, the division where the Stunts are abusing their opponents, and the QBs are either strong armed, smart, or both? It won’t be easy for them. 

 

 

 

• Well, I still don’t like it. How can you say he should be playing in D4? Of course you don’t like it, because it’s not your team. Nobody likes other teams getting better. But realistically, great players play in lower divisions all of the time. The only difference is that they tend to start and stay there, not play D1 and then move down. Look at D4 as it is. The Stunts are chock full of D1/D2 players. THK has Pistol Pete and Aaron who should be playing in a higher division. Puckett’s awesome ladies could easily be playing higher up. Hell, all of Puckett should be in D3 after winning last season. Buffalo Vice has players that have played in higher divisions, and Caitlyn Mason is a D1 talent. The point is, don’t overreact. Or at least let them play a game first before doing so. 

 

 

 

• Now that we’re a couple of weeks in, which division is the most fun and/or competitive? I’m going to take the weak answer here and honestly say that I think it's all of them. D1 is going to be VERY fun and interesting with the top 4 teams battling it out. Eyes Downtown looks fantastic. The Legends can’t be counted out. Losing Streak has so much talent. Sticky has been in the mix for years now. Whoever gets this title will have EARNED it. D2 already has big games every week. You can see ANY of the teams that aren’t the Freeballers winning the title there. D3 continues to stay close in competition and even the new teams (The Family and The Malones) look to fit right in. There isn’t one team you’d be surprised won it. D4 is a bloodbath with the Stunts right now, but tell me how many times the girls have crushed the regular season before getting sniped by the #8 seed? THK, Puckett, Vice, ILF, TMA potentially, Father Baker, and PWI? Every single team can win that division and you’d say “yeah, I see how they won”. D5 might just end up being GUCCI and CFB running away with it. But if the Creekers are for real, and Spinelli’s goes right back to where they were, things get interesting. And you can never count out the BAADies to score oodles of points. And D6 has a Top 5 right NOW that are all closely matched, and that doesn’t even include the Tuddies. BTPU could’ve beaten Balls Deep and Pit Harade was a minute or so away from beating Blitzkrieg. EVERY DIVISION IS FUN AND COMPETITIVE. That’s when the TSL is at its best. 

 

 

 

• So what are your “after two weeks” Championship Predictions? Eyes Downtown, hands down. TEIM folding was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to them, and the worst thing to happen to the other D1 teams. Can’t Touch This looks amazing and I want to root for them. I’m not all in on a title win, but if they beat Burr and Co this week? Sign me up. This just feels like the season the Wanderers take it. They were so close last season and they’re just too good. I know the Stunts like to blow it in the playoffs, but right now they’re just too on fire not to pick. GUCCI’s revenge tour looks like they’re going to complete the mission in D5. D6 is nuts, but Just Get Open looks to be the real deal. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• This is a good week to be at the fields all day and watch some games. We have some really big matchups this week. Eyes Downtown vs Legends? Can’t Touch This vs Untouchaballs? Come From Behind vs GUCCI? A lot of “top teams in the division” matchups. 

 

 

 

• Speaking of, here are your best games to watch: 

• 10:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends

• 11:00 - THREAD vs Mavericks

• 12:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Untouchaballs

• 1:00 - GUCCI vs Spinelli’s Plumbing

• 2:00 - Come From Behind vs GUCCI (every GUCCI game is must watch)

• 3:00 - Keller Whales vs The Malones

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Steph’s Misty Infection 41, Blachuranus 30

• BDD 38, Dirty Dozen 27

 

 

 

• We’ve got more bar specials for you! This week is a Labatt Blue Light bucket special for $15, and for Labor Day Weekend: Red, White, and Blue margaritas in the pouches. 

 

 

 

• Glad to see that The Sentinel is back, and I don’t know if they got better equipment or what’s going on with the TSL podcast but it sounds a lot better than it ever has this season. 

 

 

 

• Thanks again to everyone that sends me weekly emails giving me the scoops that I can’t get unless I was at the fields. If you have anyone you want to shout out, again, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. 

 

 

 

• I wonder who currently has the best jerseys in the league? 

 

 

 

• Is the TSL fantasy football league happening? Usually I’m being asked at this point to promote it, or did Jeff Krol run away with the Lenny Alba title belt? 

 

 

 

• If the Two Tuddies lose to the Mighty Drunks, you’ll have to  wonder if they’ll have missed their championship window last season and it's closed now. 

 

 

 

• As always, don’t yell at the refs and be absolute jerks to them. They’ll make mistakes. It’s been my experience that everyone learns from a situation if you talk things out instead of being a psychopath. 

 

-GF OUT

 

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