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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we are currently ONE week away from the start of the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality, as the TSL Fall 2024 playoffs will commence! While Topper is currently looking for an “Olympics-like” Cauldron for a flame to burn, complete with B’s Brother running the TSL Torch into the fields to light the fire to kick off the games, the rest of the TSL has some unfinished business to take care of. That’s right, there are 26 of the 239 total games on the schedule remaining to determine regular season division winners (who get nothing for the achievement of surviving the last 8 weeks and coming out on top), and most importantly seeding and placement for the greatest Social Co-Ed Football Tournament there is: The TSL Playoffs. 

 

While next week is Playoff Saturday, we get a taste of the playoff action as the Breakfast Club playoffs start this weekend. The TSL’s 7th division for people who think that they’re morning people when they really aren’t will kick off the first round of action early because when you’re locked into only having 9am games, you can’t really play two games in one day. More on that later though. 

 

Now, I’m sure you’re asking “Oh wise Godfather, why does seeding for the playoffs even matter? Everyone makes the playoffs, so it’s not like we’ll miss out, and there’s so many upsets every season, it doesn’t REALLY put us at disadvantage, right?” to which I say: You’re right, sort of. Seeding isn’t the MOST important thing, but why on Earth would you make things harder on yourself? If one win this weekend can be the difference between your team playing in a 4v5 game next week over finishing 8th and getting the top seed, wouldn’t you want to win? Luckily, most of the league is filled with hyper competitive people who want to win (you can be both hyper competitive AND fun to play with or against, by the way), so winning will be a priority anyway. 

 

So what’s left to play for this week? What do we already know for the playoffs? Is anything set in stone? Let’s dive into each division and see where we’re at. 

D1/D2

 

Last Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Eyes Downtown 46, Sticky Bandits 44

Wet Bandits 32, Sticky Bandits 16

Frodo Swaggins 46, Freeballers 21

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Eyes Downtown 53, Can’t Touch This 45

Wet Bandits 51, Scared Hitless 23

Freeballers 32, Mavericks 23

 

D1 leads the Crossover Series 16-4-1

 

D2

 

Can’t Touch This 42, The Untouchaballs 6

The Malones 47, Mavericks 21

Eyes Downtown go 2-0 on the day with wins over Sticky and CTT. Can’t Touch This moved to 1-1 with a dominating win over the Untouchaballs. Sticky would go on to lose to the Wet Bandits later on, who would then beat Scared Hitless as well. Frodo Swaggins got a nice win over the Freeballers, who would later get a win of their own over the Mavericks. The Mavs have their worst TSL Saturday in a while, going 0-2 on the day as they would later lose to The Malones as well. 

D1

 

What We Know:  The Wet Bandits clinched the #1 seed and Eyes Downtown are locked in as the #2 seed, so both will have first round byes.  Freeballers are locked in as the #5 seed and will play the #4 seed in the first round of playoffs.

 

What’s At Stake: Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins this weekend with the #3 seed (and last playoff bye) on the line!  Winner gets next week off... loser plays Freeballers on October 19th.

 

D2

 

What We Know: The Mavericks and Can’t Touch This are locked into the top 2 seeds, clinching the first round bye weeks. 

 

What’s At Stake: Positioning galore. Either the Mavs or CTT can finish 1st overall, and the 3v6 and 4v5 games aren’t decided at all. We can still get just about any combination of games between the other 4 teams, so we’ll have no idea who plays who until the dust settles this week. 

This Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - Winner gets a week to rest, loser gets a date with Freeballers next week.  Is it worth using all your tricks to try to get a first round bye? Or do you keep things pretty vanilla and just assume Freeballers won't give you that much of a headache? It’ll be interesting to see how they play this. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Sticky Bandits vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+14) - I’m sure Sticky will want to go into the playoffs with a solid win, and they’ve got the right opponent to do it. Grey Hair can be surprising at times, and they’re just simply not as bad as you’d think from the results this season, but I can’t imagine an upset. STICKY BANDITS BY 10

 

Can’t Touch This vs Freeballers (+7) - Just a casual reminder that D1 and D2 have played the same schedule, so technically if you combined divisions, CTT would be tied for 3rd in “D1” going into this week. Freeballers would be sitting in 9th of the 11 teams. Yikes. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 7

 

Eyes Downtown vs Mavericks (+8) - The Mavericks had themselves an off week, and instead of getting a “get right” game before the playoffs, they get one of the hottest teams in the TSL in Eyes Downtown. While I believe that the Mavs just had a bad day a week ago and it isn’t “the norm”, it’ll be hard to tell that after this week. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

D2

 

The Malones vs The Untouchaballs (+10) - Neither team has been having the season they had hoped for, but it is what it is. The playoffs are what matters. Either way though, the UTs seem just, dead in the water. Meanwhile The Malones keep showing signs of life, and you can’t really kill them anyway. THE MALONES BY 18

 

Scared Hitless vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - While Grey Hair is sometimes surprisingly good, Scared Hitless has had a good season that has just seen them fall short SO MANY TIMES. They won’t fall short this time. SCARED HITLESS BY 13

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Mix’n It Up 38, Jabronies 25

Passing While Intoxicated 24, Buffalo Vice 19

Mix’n It Up 23, Passing While Intoxicated 6

Let’s Get Reccked 39, Buffalo Vice 18

Wanderers 35, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 20

 

Mix’n It Up goes to 2-0 on the day with wins over the Jabronies and PWI. PWI got a win of their own over Buffalo Vice, who would be 0-2 this week with a loss to LGR as well. Topper returned to throw the football in an effort to beat the Wanderers, but that fell short. 

What We Know: In typical D3 fashion: Not much. Mix and Wanderers will end up as the 1-2 seeds, Team Topper is going to play in the 8-9 game, and after that? Nothing. 

 

What’s At Stake: Falling to the #8 seed and having to play an extra playoff game. Right now Buffalo Vice sits there, and with the same record as PWI, the PWI win last week gives them the tiebreaker. Everyone from seeds 3-6 can be moved around. Nothing is really set. 

This Week’s Games

 

Wanderers vs Buffalo Vice (+14) - Vice’s hopes of getting out of the 8 seed took a big hit here, getting the Wanderers who are going for the top seed as well. I can’t imagine things are going to go well for our friends from Vice here. WANDERERS BY 17

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Passing While Intoxicated (+10) - LGR gets a forfeit win this week over TAST already, so they’re 5-3 going into this game. A win here gives them a shot at the 3 seed, and a loss is going to enter them into the Topper’s Super Secret Tiebreaker Formula Machine to see who shakes out where. PWI’s only wins are against the teams below them in the standings, they have some growing to do. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 14

 

Mix’n It Up vs Practice Squad (+7) - A pretty high profile matchup, even if you ignore the fact that the Squad has hit some speed bumps recently on the way to an 0-3 record in their last few games. Mix rebounded well from the loss last week, and they’re still in the driver’s seat to get the #1 seed. Expect a good game. MIX’N IT UP BY 2

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Creekers 21, Select 0 (forfeit)

ILF 56, Cobblestone 24

GirthQuakes 34, Select 12

Cunning Stunts 55, The Herd 37

 

Select ends up 0-2 for the week, as they limp to the finish line of the season, giving the Creekers a forfeit win and losing to the Quakes too. ILF stomped Cobblestone, and the Stunts beat The Herd, who hung around a little bit, but couldn’t keep up. 

 

What We Know: The Stunts are awesome and the #1 seed. ILF is slightly less awesome but could lose the #2 seed if they lose to The Herd. 

 

What’s At Stake: Like we said, the #2 seed MIGHT be, but the rest of the division looks like it could get really shaken up based on results this week. Not much set in stone here. 

This Week’s Games

 

The Herd vs Creekers (+10) - The Creekers continue to crawl towards the finish line of this disaster of a season, but The Herd have been arguably the best surprise of the season. It’s been said many times before, but what Dalfonso is doing with the former Roaring 20’s has been spectacular. THE HERD BY 14

 

ILF vs The Herd (+6) - While I still think we’re looking at a Stunts-ILF finals, The Herd just won’t go away. ILF had their hiccup a few weeks ago, although a Herd victory here opens up the door for a 3 team race, and they could potentially take the #2 seed from ILF. Which they will. THE HERD BY 3

 

GirthQuakes vs Cobblestone (+3) - The GQs keep on coming, and they find themselves staring at a winning record for the season in the face. Cobblestone and their inconsistent lineup sits in their way, and they still feel a bit too jumbled to stop the quake. GIRTHQUAKES BY 12

 

GirthQuakes vs Vaspian (+8) - The Vaspian hype was real at one point, but they’ve since found themselves in the middle of a 2-5 season that should probably have a couple more wins. They’ve shown that they’re going to be a tough out no matter where they end up in the standings. VASPIAN BY 3

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Power Puff Girls 38, Pit Harade 6

Spinelli’s Plumbing 26, Two Tuddies 12

Two Tuddies 34, Not So Sticky 18

Come From Behind 44, Stir The Sauce 14

 

The PPGs continue dominating D5 as they’ve definitely hit their stride. The Two Tuddies went 1-1, losing, somehow, to Spinelli’s, before regrouping and beating NSS. Come From Behind put a big beatdown on STS. 

What We Know: Nothing really. There’s a world where we could have four teams tied at 6-3, and it’ll be up to the Topper Machine to sort them out. Meanwhile, the “lower 4 teams” could all end up with the same record as well, I think. The point is, nobody knows anything in this division where nobody has ever known anything. 

 

What’s At Stake: Seeding for everyone. Seriously. D5 is a ride. 

This Week’s Games

 

GUCCI vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+3) - I didn’t have “GUCCI and Spinelli’s are playing to not be last place” on my bingo board this year. However both teams are 2-5 and sitting at the end of the standings. Both teams have had some ups and downs, but it’s not exactly the season either expected. GUCCI BY 3

 

Two Tuddies vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) -  The Tud Buds take on Spinelli’s who will be on the back end of a double header, looking to get a win to lock in 3rd place. Not to mention the fact that the Tuddies have lost to Spinelli’s earlier this season and they’ll be focused on getting that win back. TWO TUDDIES BY 8

 

Not So Sticky vs Pit Harade (+7) - Neither team is really scoring a whole bunch, but they have similar defenses. NSS is on a 4 game losing streak, but one has to think that they’re going to break the slide before the season ends. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

 

Power Puff Girls vs Stir The Sauce (+3) - Big game in D5 as STS looks to make a claim at the #1 seed for the season. The PPGs have been on cruise control for a couple of weeks, and they look really good playing together. STS has been pretty good all season as well, so this one has game of the day potential. STIR THE SAUCE BY 2

 

Come From Behind vs GUCCI (+7) - Usually this is for the #1 seed, but GUCCI didn’t get the memo. The struggling GUCCI vs the top defense and #2 offense in the division doesn’t sound like a fair fight. COME FROM BEHIND BY 13

 

Stir The Sauce vs Pit Harade (+10) - STS could need this win, while PH is pretty locked in to a bottom 3 finish in the standings. While PH is playing better, STS did beat them 34-6 early in the season, and I don’t think PH caught up to them. STIR THE SAUCE BY 12

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Sticky Laces 18, Day By Day 13

Blitzkrieg 38, TMA 14

Sausage McMuffins 36, TMA 0

Purple Nurples 46, Balls Deep 28

Sticky Laces pulls off the win over Day By Day, Blitzkrieg demolished TMA, who then got beaten up on by the McMuffins. Finally the Nurps beat up on Balls Deep a bit. 

What We Know: Blitzkrieg and the McMuffins battling for the #1 seed and game against Dogg Pound. Sticky Laces is locked into the 3rd seed. The rest is up for grabs. 

 

What’s At Stake: Teams are battling to make it to the 4v5 matchup which should be easier than getting to play one of the top teams. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Day By Day vs TMA (+6) - DBD beat up TMA pretty badly earlier in the season, but TMA has played better since then, even if the record doesn’t always prove that. Meanwhile Day By Day has gone from surprising football darlings to “what the hell happened to them?”. DAY BY DAY BY 7

 

Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+9) - It’s Blitzkrieg’s world, and Balls Deep is just living in it. BK is quite close to an 8-1 record and the #1 seed. They’ll finish the job this time. BLITZKRIEG BY 11

 

Sticky Laces vs Balls Deep (+3) - The Sticky Laces slowly but surely continue to grow, improve, and win more games. A win here over a reeling Balls Deep team just feels like a formality. STICKY LACES BY 8

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Purple Nurples (+10) - The McMuffins are on cruise control, and they’ll fare quite easily against the Nurps. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 16

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• How badly are rosters going to be messed up for Fall Fest? Other than Memorial Day in the spring, Fall Fest accounts for the most “I can’t get enough people to play” excuses for teams. The difference is that these games are a little more important being in the last week of the season. But I’m sure that teams won’t all be at 100% this week. 

 

 

 

• Do we know anything about the playoff schedule yet? Nope. Jeff has to make the schedule based on the many different players with two teams and making sure he can minimize (but not guarantee) those players teams don’t play at the same time. 

 

 

 

• I keep hearing about the Banquet but haven’t seen anything. Did I miss it? No you certainly did not! Jeff Krol sadly found out that we’ll more than likely have to move the banquet to a new place this season (to be fair, we used to move nearly every year), and the date might even be December 13th instead of the 6th. Details will be finalized soon, I’ve been told. 

 

 

 

• You said it’s Breakfast Club playoffs already? Yep! Breakfast Club starts the playoffs a week early because two of the teams get a bye. So we’ll have 3v6 and 4v5 this week, seeds 1 and 2 taking on the winners, and then the remaining two teams will battle for Breakfast Club history after that! Shout out to Dri Girls 1 Cup and Steph Infection for getting the byes with 5-1 records! 

 

 

 

• Will rainouts affect the playoffs and push them back? Good question. In a word, No. Tell your teammates now to plan to have the 19th and 26th cleared, just in case. This is called “advance warning.” Remember no subs in the playoffs! 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR TOMORROW

 

 

• Breakfast Club Playoffs: 

• D’z Nuts 35, All Ryled Up 20

• Syd On My Face 40, Carlyac Arrest 37

 

 

 

• The weather is looking to be 60 degrees and mostly sunny this week, beautiful weather for football. 

 

 

 

• Or more than likely, Fall Fest, which was the reason for Topper forfeiting. It’s not to “keep his arm fresh” for the playoffs. 

 

 

 

• It feels like The Sentinel isn’t watching very much anymore. That’s why I think it’s Buddy Lee. 

 

 

 

• Joey Batts really went 18-0 this season, and we’re all going to have to hear about it. 

 

 

 

• Let’s remind ourselves that as the games become more meaningful, tempers will flare. Be good to league officials and to the referees who are doing their best. Fun fact: they don’t care who wins. 

 

 

 

• I really hope The Herd pulls off the upset in the playoffs. What a story that would be. 

 

 

 

• Three teams that need a win badly: Practice Squad, Scared Hitless, Day By Day

 

 

 

• Remember when Select was on fire to start the season and people were upset about having a star on the roster in Malikye? That aged well. 

 

 

 

• Topper returning at Quarterback is exactly what this league needs. Up next: He’s throwing for Breakfast Club. 

 

 

-GF OUT

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