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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to Week 3 of the Spring 2025 season. The Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality is going strong, and the teams of the TSL are jockeying for position as we’re already a quarter of the way done with the season. While it’s become common knowledge that “it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish” in the TSL, that doesn’t mean the teams off to a hot start shouldn’t get noticed. Sure, today’s 2-0 could be tomorrow’s 2-6, but that’s a future thing to discuss. So what teams are looking good early on in the season? Which teams are looking to hit the reset button and start over? I’ll tell you. 

 

WHO’S H-O-T-T-O-G-O???

 

PowerPuff Girls - 2-0, lots of points scored, and looking like a real threat to walk away with D5.

 

Dogg Pound - Sure they’re 2-1, but they’ve been playing well overall and you can tell they’re much improved from where they were a season ago. 

 

Legends - Duh. 

 

Come From Behind - From D5 champs to D4 favorites? CFB has looked every bit at home in D4, so much so that D3 might even be in their future at this rate. 

 

Jordan Lawson - The QB of the Freeballers/Mavericks might be 2-3 on the season, but he has the defending champion Mavericks right back on top in D2 and his play in D1 has the entire league reconsidering how they view the Freeballers. He’s helped them go from D1 afterthought to “plucky team you have to watch out for”. 

 

Wanderers - 3-0, rolling through teams during the season like they usually do. 

 

Balls Deep - 2-0, on top of D6, looking really good. But they’ve done this before, can they sustain this level of success this season? 

 

Refs who step up to help - the league has needed refs pretty badly this year, but we’ve had people jump in to help, even at the last second. 

 

Blue Ballers - 2-0, looking like a well oiled machine out there so far. 

 

The top half of the D2 standings - Mavericks, The Malones, and Can’t Touch This look to be a step above the other teams in this division. 

 

WHO’S NOT???

 

The bottom half of the D2 standings - Show Me Your TDs, Scared Hitless, and Jabronies look to be a step behind the other teams in this division. 

 

Select - only 6 points scored so far this season, looking like there’s a lot more work to be done. 

 

Cunning Stunts - winless on the season, and holding their first losing record since 2012 or something. 

 

Weather - two weeks of rain to start the season is never the best. 

 

Cobblestone - not the best start for Darryl and his crew as they battle to get a full roster to the fields, much less go for a win. 

 

Vaspian - It’s been a tough go to start the season for our favorite team starting with a ‘V’ so far.

 

Sticky Laces - Preseason favorites are 0-2 with a lot of things to sort out. 

 

Renee Lantz - 0-3 to start the season, whispers of Kenny overtaking the “Best Lantz” crown get louder.

 

NOT GOOD NOT BAD 

 

Freeballers - 0-3, but competitive as hell. The record doesn’t really dictate how good they’ve looked so far. Mentioned it a little earlier, but they’re two or three plays from a 2-1 record and being the hottest thing to talk about in the league. 

 

ILF - 1-1, looking less and less like a “slam dunk” champion each week but the talent is there

And there you have it. The rest of the TSL teams are just playing as they normally would and it isn’t surprising. A lot of 1-1 teams exist, and even some 2-0 teams (Two Tuddies, for example) are just doing what’s expected of them. Some good plays here, some mistakes there, and a lot of figuring it all out. 

 

But again, it’s very early in the season and when the calendar turns to June, we’ll be seeing a few of these teams going from Hot to Not and vice versa. The question, as always, is who will it be? 

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Sticky Bandits 27, What A Dump 21

Frodo Swaggins 41, Freeballers 37

Legends 55, Frodo Swaggins 8

 

The Sticky Bandits move on with a hard fought victory over WAD, leaving the new old team winless on the season. Frodo Swaggins beat the Freeballers in a close game before getting absolutely dominated by the Legends. 

This Week’s Games

 

Legends vs Sticky Bandits (+8) - It’s weird seeing Sticky as an underdog these days, but here we are. The Legends looked very, very good last week against Frodo, but they’ll face arguably their toughest test of the season against Sticky. A D1 title game preview is on the horizon. LEGENDS BY 3

 

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+10) - The Legends have a hell of a back to back this weekend, going from one great team to an old rival very quickly. However, I’m not exactly sure this “rivalry” is quite the same given the new makeup of the ED roster. This one will probably lack the intensity of the last few seasons. LEGENDS BY 13

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Freeballers (+7) - The Freeballers get a second shot at Frodo a week after losing by 4. Frodo could be looking at a 3-1 record with a win here. Why is that important? Remember that there are two byes for the D1 playoffs, and if we’re already giving one to the Legends, there’s only one to play for. Frodo can’t afford a slip up if they want to be in the mix for the bye. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 3

 

D2

 

Last Week’s Games

 

The Malones 38, Jabronies 7

Can’t Touch This 21, Scared Hitless 0 (Forfeit)

Mavericks 38, Jabronies 26

Mavericks 73, Show Me Your TDs 0

 

The Malones showed up and showed out in a 31 point win over the Jabronies. The Jabornies would fare slightly better against the Mavs, only losing by 12 to drop to 0-2 on the day. The Mavericks, however, would go to 2-0 on the day after dropping 73 points on SMYTDs. Scared Hitless saw what CTT did in Week 1 and were instantly terrified to play them last week. 

This Week’s Games

 

Mavericks vs Can’t Touch This (EVEN) - Here we go! A big time D2 game is on this week’s schedule as 2 of the top teams in the division battle it out on the gridiron. Both teams have looked to be in top form and have already scored over 60 points each in a game this season. (Opponents are irrelevant here). This will come down to whoever makes more plays on defense, which has been an issue for both teams at times. I flipped a coin.  CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 7

 

The Malones vs Show Me Your TDs (+46) - One of the largest spreads in TSL history, but for good reason. We KNOW The Malones love to score as many points as possible, and now they’re getting the wounded ducks of the division? SMYTDs, I know it’s been rough, and I’m sorry, but it’s going to get bad before it gets better. The schedule makers did you ZERO favors giving you the top 3 teams right off the bat, but you’ll have more of a chance after this week, I promise. Malones? If you’re reading this….go get 100. THE MALONES BY 42

 

Scared Hitless vs Jabronies (+3) - The Jabronies aren’t having the best time ever as they take on D2, but they’re still a very good team who will end up figuring out the kinks from popping up a division and they’ll be just fine. I think. Scared Hitless continues their usual “Eh, we’ll just cruise through the regular season, seeding doesn’t matter” attitude, but they should take this one provided they show up. SCARED HITLESS BY 8

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Passing While Intoxicated 42, Bullet Club 25

Wanderers 50, GirthQuakes 8

Buffalo Vice 38, Practice Squad 37

GirthQuakes 30, Cunning Stunts 28

716 40, D-Generation X, Y, and Z 28

 

As always, it’s a stupid idea to bet any money on the D3 games where just about anything can happen. Well, except the Wanderers losing, as they walked all over the GQs 50-8. And then the Quakes decided to give us the most shocking result of the young TSL season, beating the Cunning Stunts 30-28. Buffalo Vice and the Squad have a slobberknocker, with Vice squeaking out a victory. PWI moved to 1-0 on the season getting by Bullet Club pretty easily. And 716 ended the day with a win over DXYZ. 

This Week’s Games

 

D-Generation X, Y, and Z vs Practice Squad (+7) - The Squad getting off to an 0-2 start isn’t surprising, as they’ve written the book on “F the season” and winning D3 after going “O-fer” in the regular season. There’s a few unwritten rules in the TSL and “never counting out Practice Squad” is always on that list. DXYZ took the loss last week, but I can’t imagine that will shake them too badly. This game feels like another close one is on the horizon. D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z BY 1

 

Becca Gets Reccked vs Bullet Club (+8) - A game of some of the longest tenured social co-ed touch football players in the area meet up again. BGR is 1-1, but the loss was against a very good Wanderers team, and it was only by 4 points. Bullet Club is running into some injury issues, and a potentially promising season might be circling the drain already. It’ll be interesting to see how they bounce back this week from the loss against PWI. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 13

 

716 vs Buffalo Vice (+4) - An interesting matchup that pits two QBs who love to just chuck the ball. In fact, if you told me this game would end up setting the record for most “air yards” a ball is thrown from both teams combined during a game, I’d easily believe that. The athleticism of 716 against the mental prowess of Vice can’t be understated either. This will be a sneaky good game, but one team has Caitlyn Mason, and one team doesn’t. BUFFALO VICE BY 2

 

Wanderers vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - I’m going to assume last week’s game was a hiccup for the Stunts and until I see more evidence that D3 is going to be “way harder” for them, I’ll keep with the standard that they rock. This is the most interesting game on the schedule this week, hands down. The Super Stunts see if they have what it takes to win D3 as they play the Wanderers, who are in top form on this season already. This would’ve been our Monday Night Football game of the week if we could do that. WANDERERS BY 8

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs GirthQuakes (EVEN) - Two D3 teams with similar rosters that are quite talented. They have two of the hardest QBs in the league to sack in Buddy Lee and Matt Kieta. They’re just so quick. But Buddy has a bit more experience, which gives PWI the edge. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 2

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Tater Tots 20, Vaspian 6

Puckett 28, Mike’s Detailing 25

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks 56, Cobblestone 8

Come From Behind 34, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 33

 

The Tots took on Vaspian and walked out with a nice victory. The Non-All Stars of Puckett took home a close victory over Mike’s Detailing. (Messy car? Go to Mike’s! Tell him you saw his ad in “The Godfather” for a sweet discount!) BWIB made easy work of Cobblestone, winning in a landslide. And finally, Come From Behind had a HUGE win over ILF, claiming dominance over D4. 

This Week’s Games

 

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks vs Tater Tots (+6) - The Tots are a pretty good team, but as of now, it seems like BWIB could be something special based off that one game they played in D4. In the rain. Against a shorthanded Cobblestone. Okay maybe we can’t base too much off of that. The Tots vibes feel slightly off currently though, so. BIRD WATCHING IN BIRKENSTOCKS BY 8

 

Come From Behind vs Mike’s Detailing (+7) - Okay, I don’t think Mike is actually going to give you a discount if you mention that you saw his ad in my article. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED TO GIVE HIM CODE TGF20 FOR 20% OFF! Maybe. I’m just showing him (and other businesses!) that you can put your ads in here and grow your business. As for the game, Come From Behind continues to look right at home in D4 as they transitioned VERY well so far to the division. Really liking this outcome for them so far. Mike’s Detailing will always be a “hard out” this season, as they continue to improve and in a couple of weeks they could be one of the best stories in the league. Just not this week. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

 

Puckett vs Vaspian (+10) - Puckett keeps on rolling this season while Vaspian is still struggling a bit on offense, and that’s going to be the difference in this game. PUCKETT BY 17

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Cobblestone (+10) - Darryl Carr QB Superstar can only do so much with the bums around him. He’s trying his best, but as we’ve seen in years past, his team fails him. ILF lost a heartbreaker to CFB, but jokes aside this is one of the best teams in D4 and if anything that was a wake up call. ILF BY 19

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Mo’ Chicken 38, Stir The Sauce 14

Sausage McMuffins 30, Not So Sticky 24

Powerpuff Girls 51, Pit Harade 20

Two Tuddies 44, Jake From State Farm 26

 

MO’ CHICKEN BABY!!! Mo gets their first win in history, absolutely dunking on STS and showing the TSL Universe they’re for real! The McMuffins continue to impress in D5, getting past NSS. The Girls laid the smack down on Pit Harade, who finally seem to have a QB in John Langley, which means they’re now cursed. Finally, the Tud Buds just keep doing Tud Bud stuff, winning easily to quietly go to 2-0. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Jake From State Farm (EVEN) - Okay, BK lost by 3 points to STS, and now they’re taking on, and I quote “The bad players from STS last year”. The person who said that asked to stay anonymous, but they were wearing yellow. DRAMA! Blitzkrieg can absolutely score points so I’m assuming the 12 points was an anomaly. Look for them to bounce back. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Pit Harade (+10) - The old D6 rivalry is renewed in D5. These teams have played some classic games in the past, and I can’t imagine this would be any different. Alex has the McMuffins playing good football, while PH hasn’t been themselves. I haven’t seen tall guy or fast guy for them yet this season either. Feels like two teams moving in opposite directions. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 12

 

Not So Sticky vs Stir The Sauce (+6) - STS doesn’t look quite up to par just yet. Averaging 14.5 points per game will do that. They take on Not So Sticky, who can always put up points, right? Well, not always, but they’ve looked okay so far this season. STS might need a little more time to simmer with the roster adjustments made this year. NOT SO STICKY BY 4

 

Two Tuddies vs Mo’ Chicken (+10) - Mo’ Chicken arrived last week! However, beating STS is a little different than going up against an “on fire” Two Tuddies team that seemingly has everything going their way currently. The Tud Buds are just good. Mo comes back down to Earth a little bit this week. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

 

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Balls Deep 20, Select 0

TMA 28, Sticky Laces 8

Blue Ballers 40, Raw Milkers 24

Dogg Pound 19, Intentional Clowning 6

Irish Giants 25, Dogg Pound 6

 

Balls Deep gets another win and they shut out Select who are struggling currently this season. TMA gets a big win over the Sticky Laces who are not having the start to the season they envisioned. The Blue Ballers are looking a little less “up and down’ than they did as Mighity Drunks, which is good for them and bad for D6. The Dogg Pound got to 2-0 with a win over IC, but then they fell to the Irish Giants who got their first win 25-6. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Balls Deep vs Irish Giants (+6) - Balls Deep has been good so far, but there’s a chance the schedule did them some favors so far. A win over the Sticky Laces is impressive, but not if the Laces are starting out the “season from hell”. And beating Select might not seem like an achievement by June. The Irish Giants had a slow start but really ramped it up last week, and I think that’s the Giants we’ll be seeing the rest of the year. IRISH GIANTS BY 2

 

Blue Ballers vs Intentional Clowning (+7) - The Blue Ballers have been a nice early season surprise, and they’ll get to face off against an Intentional Clowning team that seems to struggle on offense quite a bit in the early going of the season. Of course, I expect that to change, but I don’t think this is the team that it changes against. BLUE BALLERS BY 8

 

TMA vs Raw Milkers (+3) - Ah yes, we’re back to the good ol’ days where TMA is favored to win. TMA got a win last week over the Sticky Laces, but it’s a little bit different of a squad yet again. Word is Ron Webber has retired too? Is this real? I sure hope not. Anyway, the Milkers are 0-2 but showed improvement last week and will continue to get better. But right now let’s take the veteran laden team. TMA BY 3

 

Sticky Laces vs Select (+10) - The TSL’s “Loser Leaves Town” match as these two 0-2 D6 teams will scratch and claw to avoid an 0-3 start. Select lost some fire power and dropped to D6, which was clearly the right call as the team learns to play together. They have enough “know how” to eventually be okay. The Laces are flabbergasted that they’re here, but they got a “get right” game right when they needed it most. STICKY LACES BY 17

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Who has been the most surprising team so far this season? The Sticky Laces being 0-2 is certainly surprising and unexpected, but the answer is the Freeballers. It isn’t surprising that they’re 0-3, no, but it’s how well they’ve been playing. They seem to have “leveled up” in the offseason. 

 

 

 

• The TSL Powers That Be moved the Woodpeckers out of D6 when it became clear they were going to destroy everyone early on, why can’t you do the reverse for Show Me Your TDs? There’s a few problems with that and it mostly has to do with scheduling. Currently, SMYTDs would need to drop to what? D5? And that means you’d have to change the D5 schedule completely. Not to mention that D2 would be down one less team. Plus, one team destroying an entire division makes it not fun for 7-8 other teams, whereas one team getting destroyed (despite warnings of it potentially happening) is kind of on them. 

 

 

 

• Okay, I know that lots of teams are blaming poor performances on the rain, but how much does it REALLY affect the games? Both teams have to play in it! I agree that it does affect both teams, but realistically there were teams out there that maybe should’ve won games they lost in the last two weeks. Multiple reports came in of great plays being thwarted by a usually caught ball slipping through a receiver’s hands, or a normally made “easy” throw ending up in the dirt because the QB lost grip. And of course everyone was slipping here and there. You can’t completely discount what happened, but there are definitely some teams that currently look a lot worse than they really are because of it. 

 

 

 

• I’ve heard that we’re in need of refs, how can I help? I’m glad you asked! Please reach out to Garrett, Jeff Krol, or anyone who looks important if you’d like to help out. Hell, just ask your own ref during your game who you should go talk to! The league survives on people like you helping out! 

 

 

 

• Why do the Power Rankings Committee, who are made up of multiple people who are at the fields every week, get to phone in the first few articles of the season when you, a single person who lives in Iowa and doesn’t even get to see the games, are expected to continue writing top notch articles every single week? I can’t speak for why the Committee sits around half assing things for a week, but I know the people out there are noticing and disagreeing with the rankings they put out early on. However, all publicity is good publicity. So as long as you’re talking about them, mission accomplished. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS ABOUT SATURDAY

 

 

• Here’s what’s most important. 66 degrees. Sunny. No more excuses. Wear your sunscreen. 

 

 

 

• I enjoyed hearing Kyle Messina and his mom Tammy on the podcast this week. I think its a really cool story how they play together on Sticky Laces. We need more feel good stories like that in the league. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Mavericks

• 11:00 - Legends vs Sticky Bandits

• 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Becca Gets Reccked

• 1:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Wanderers

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Frodo Swaggins

 

 

 

• Pretty crazy that Breakfast Club made it’s glorious return and for perhaps the first time in history, TWO BC teams were shut out in the same morning. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• D’s Nutz 38, Syd On My Face 27

• Melicious Minx 27, Miles On It 24

• ReinCARNated 34, Jen-X 20

 

 

 

• Please do your best to not block anyone in when you’re parking. It should be common sense, yet we find people struggling to do the right thing every week so far. 

 

 

 

• Remember, if you left something behind at the fields, there’s a chance it’s hanging out at the Lost and Found! Ask the bar to take a look through it so you can find what’s yours!

 

 

 

• What’s that? You want MORE publicity for your squad? Be like the others and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ! 

 

 

 

• June 7th is Lenny and Rameer Day! Clear your schedule! (I know its EA Music Fest too!)

 

 

 

• I think it’s also surprising how D2 is so clearly divided in half. I hope Scared Hitless and the Jabronies figure things out sooner rather than later. 

 

-GF OUT

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