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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, I regret to inform you that we’ve officially arrived at the halfway point of the TSL Spring 2025 season. 4 weeks down, 4 weeks to go. The story of the season is truly beginning to unfold in front of our eyes, and like any good book, you find yourself wanting to know how it ends, yet you also don’t want to rush to get there. The 54 TSL teams (Breakfast Club teams count!) are realizing who they are this season, and they’re running out of time to fix whatever they might not like. It’s true, there’s a lot of time left in the sense that any team can still get it together and make a magical playoff run for the ages, it’s just becoming less and less likely to happen. 

 

While we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, let’s dive into what’s already happened so far. Currently, the TSL has 8 undefeated teams remaining. One of the harder things to do in sports is to get through a TSL season without a regular season loss. If you’re newer to the league, you’re probably thinking to yourself “It’s only 8 games in a co-ed touch football league, how can it be that hard to do?”. But think about it, you need things to go right every single week. That means making sure your whole team is there for 8 straight weeks. Having to navigate through wind and rain, hoping that the elements around you don’t cause you any misfortune. You have to hope that Garbacz doesn’t make a brutal call against you, or that a newer referee doesn’t make a mistake that can cost your team. You have to hope that injuries don’t play a part. And once you add in things like ‘unreliable teammates just not showing up’, or ‘you have Colorado Mike on your team’, it’s a lot to overcome each and every week. On the other side of things, the TSL is also sitting with 6 teams that have yet to win a game at all this season. But we’re going to focus on the positive for now. 

 

We’ve had most of the TSL play 3-4 games of their season already, giving us a good sample size of what we’re working with so far. 7 teams have played 5 games already, and only one team, Bullet Club, has only played two games this season (although they did have a game postponed). There’s already been a barrel full of interesting developments this season. Here’s some of them. 

 

HALFWAY SEASON STORYLINES! 

EYES DOWNTOWN IS NOT DEAD! Despite the whirlwind of an offseason, where Bobby McConnell decided that his roster just simply wasn’t good enough and he cut most of them, Eyes Downtown finds themselves not just with a 2-1 record, but with a win and a close loss against the Legends. 

 

WANDERERS ARE 5-0! Okay, the Wanderers being 5-0 isn’t a surprise at all, but it’s HOW they’re 5-0. Only ONE of their wins was the standard “Wanderers win a one score game” we’ve become accustomed to. No, they’re just mauling D3 this season. D2 or bust in the fall for these guys. 

 

BLUE BALLERS RUN D6…SORT OF! D6 was shaping up to be a Sticky Laces/Balls Deep extravaganza heading into the season, but it didn’t quite work out that way. Blue Ballers have rushed out to a 4-0 record and are the talk of the league as they lead D6. However…

 

…TMA IS BACK! TMA has rushed out to a 3-0 record, they have a bit of their old swagger back, and the vibes are immaculate. The TSL is just better when TMA is good, and it shows. D6 is looking great. 

SAUSAGE PARTY! The Sausage McMuffins popped up to D5 and they’re on a roll, starting off 4-0 and putting up a lot of points in the process. Not to be outdone, Blitzkrieg is also 2-1 and looking quite good in their D5 debut as well. 

 

WHO LET THE DOGGS OUT? The Dogg Pound are 3-1 and they’re boasting the best defense in the TSL halfway through the season? Fanduel had that bet at +40000 heading into Week 1. 

 

FRODO TAKES A LEAP! Frodo Swaggins shedded some dead weight this offseason, re-focused overall, and now with the EXCELLENT play of Katie Swanson leading the way, Frodo finds themselves a lot closer to the pack in D1 than ever before. The more good teams in D1, the better. 

 

CAN’T TOUCH THIS CANT STOP SCORING! CTT is averaging nearly 60 points a game so far this season, they’re 3-0, and with a game against SMYTDs this weekend, they may break 100 points. 

 

CUNNING STUNTS HAVE LOSING RECORD! I think this qualifies as a surprise. The Stunts losing to the Wanderers isn’t shocking by any means, but that loss to the 1-4 GirthQuakes might be the biggest upset of the season already. The Stunts haven’t been under .500 this late in a season since Topper had hair. 

 

STICKY LACES STUCK IN SEASON FROM HELL! The Sticky Laces have quickly gone from “D6 Title Favorites” to “Do we need a D7?” in a short amount of time. Seeing them sitting at 0-4 might be one of the most shocking things that have happened so far this season. 

And those are just some of the storylines that have come our way so far this season, with about a million more to come as the season rolls on. And now we come to what everyone has been waiting for: the updated mid-season TSL Championship Odds! 

D1

 

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

 

Legends (3-1)

Eyes Downtown (4-1)

Sticky Bandits (4-1)

Frodo Swaggins (10-1)

What A Dump (13-1)

Freeballers (25-1)

 

The Legends stay the favorites, but the others have closed the gap a little bit. They CAN be beaten, but WILL they? Eyes Downtown has shown that “new faces, same results” has some weight to it. Sticky is highly talented, and you can’t sleep on them. Meanwhile, while we’ve seen talent and improvement from Frodo, WAD, and the Freeballers, they’re still a bit behind the “Big 3” of D1. 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

What A Dump 36, Freeballers 25

Sticky Bandits 14, Frodo Swaggins 8

Legends 36, What A Dump 12

Eyes Downtown 39, Legends 37

The idea of the Legends running away with the D1 crown has been halted for now. After a close game last week, Eyes Downtown took down the champs and maybe they aren’t as far ahead of the pack as it felt before. What A Dump finally got into the win column over the Freeballers before getting smoked by the Legends, and Sticky pulled out a gutty, defensive battle against Frodo, just as everyone predicted would happen. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS FRODO SWAGGINS  (+7) - Another good storyline this season has been “Can Frodo get a D1 playoff bye?”. They’re 3-2, they’re getting the publicity for being more improved. But realistically they need to get a win against a team that isn’t WAD or the Freeballers. It’s a perfect “let down” game for ED after the big emotional win last week, but they’re just getting better and better. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS STICKY BANDITS  (EVEN) - Sticky should have the rest advantage, which can never be understated, especially in a closely matched game. The entire TSL Universe continues to not really chat about Sticky this season, which is a good thing for them. Jeff hates the spotlight. They just show up, and get to work. And they’ll do it again Saturday. STICKY BANDITS BY 4

 

LEGENDS VS FREEBALLERS (+14) - The Freeballers are still looking for that first win of the season, and this week they not only get to play the Legends, but a Legends team that is quite agitated that they lost a week ago. Never a good mix for their opponent. LEGENDS BY 18

D2

 

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

 

Can’t Touch This (3-1)

The Malones (4-1)

Mavericks (4-1)

Jabronies (7-1)

Scared Hitless (7-1)

Show Me Your TDs (9,223,372,036,854,775,808-1)

 

D2 is slowly becoming a 5 team race yet again, assuming the recent improved play of the Jabronies and Scared Hitless is for real. Can’t Touch This has earned the top billing halfway through the season, and they seem unstoppable currently. The Malones and the Mavericks are still RIGHT behind though, and can absolutely beat CTT. Show Me Your TDs is here too. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Scared Hitless 43, The Malones 34

 

Okay, fine. Maybe the “D2 Divide” isn’t exactly as big as it seems. Scared Hitless took things personally last weekend and decided they were going to play like it’s the playoffs already. They walked away with a very hard fought win over The Malones. D2 is going to be close, with the exception of SMYTDs, and yes, those are also the exact odds for getting a perfect March Madness bracket. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

THE MALONES VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+21) - The Malones took a hit last weekend in a loss to Scared Hitless, but it’s not going to affect them too much in the overall standings as long as they win their other games. I can’t imagine this game is going to present them with too tough of a matchup. THE MALONES BY 30

 

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS MAVERICKS (+7) - A rematch from two weeks ago that saw Can’t Touch This easily handle the Mavericks. One has to assume that beating them again won’t nearly be as easy, and it’ll be interesting to see how the champs get back up off the mat after that knockdown. You know Jordan and Co. won’t go easily into the night, and they want revenge. Or at least to remind everyone who the champs are. MAVERICKS BY 3

 

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+21) - Can’t Touch This didn’t play last week, but it’s not going to affect them too much in the overall standings as long as they win their other games. I can’t imagine this game is going to present them with too tough of a matchup. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 30

SCARED HITLESS VS JABRONIES (EVEN) - A battle between two teams that keep getting better week in and week out. SH got the big win last week, but the week before the Jabronies blew them out by 30. I’m not entirely sure which team has the upper hand in this one, but I think we’ll see a good one. JABRONIES BY 3

D3

 

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

 

Wanderers (2-1)

Cunning Stunts (5-1)

Becca Gets Reccked (5-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (7-1)

Practice Squad (7-1)

D-Generation X, Y, and Z (9-1)

716 (9-1)

Bullet Club (10-1)

Buffalo Vice (12-1)

GirthQuakes (20-1)

 

The Wanderers have separated themselves from the pack and they seem inspired to win the whole thing. The Stunts and BGR are at the bottom of the standings, but both teams are simply too talented to stay there for the whole season. PWI is going to blow up the team chat about the perceived disrespect, but they haven’t had the hardest games just yet. The Kellers haven’t been themselves so far this year, which explains their little fall here. The rest of the teams are right about where they should be.

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Passing While Intoxicated 57, 716 34

Wanderers 35, D-Generation X, Y, and Z 16

Cunning Stunts 44, Becca Gets Reccked 26

Practice Squad 26, GirthQuakes 22

 

PWI continues to impress, moving to 3-0 on the season just before the schedule gets a lot harder for them. The Wanderers continue to lay the smack down on anyone, handing the Kellers a loss. The Stunts are starting to find their footing, which isn’t good for the other 9 D3 teams, handily beating BGR. And Practice Squad handed the GQs their 4th loss of the season. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

716 VS BULLET CLUB (+7) - 716 has had no trouble putting points on the board, and their biggest issue is stopping their opponents from doing the same, as they’re allowing nearly 40 points a game. The cure for that comes in a Bullet Club team that has been dealing with injuries, and as a result of that I don’t think they’ll have the team speed to keep up. 716 BY 17

 

PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+3) - One of these two teams will walk out of this matchup as the undisputed 2nd best team in D3. Just kidding, it’ll be disputed. But a classic Buddy vs B QB matchup could make this the one to watch. Bet on a TD Tori Anytime Touchdown, if she plays. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 9

 

BULLET CLUB VS BUFFALO VICE (EVEN) - These two teams are a bit similar in how they’ve been playing, which means this should be a pretty good game. Both teams need the win simply to help with tie breakers at the end of the season, so they can avoid being in the 9v10 game come playoff time. BUFFALO VICE BY 4

 

BECCA GETS RECCKED VS D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z (+3) - Not exactly the teams DXYZ wants to see when they need a “get right” game, but here we are. BGR continues to coast through the regular season with players missing, and a “just have some fun” attitude, which makes them hard to predict. When they’re all there, and they’re trying, they’re VERY good. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 10

 

CUNNING STUNTS VS BUFFALO VICE (+6) - An old rivalry renewed! Stunts vs Vice gave us some of the best games in D4 for many seasons, and it’s great to see them facing off again, this time in D3. The only difference is that instead of them battling to see who will lead the division, they’re trying to avoid being last. Vice has been consistent all year, and the Stunts are just coming on stronger each week. CUNNING STUNTS BY 2

D4

 

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

 

ILF (3-1)

Tater Tots (5-1)

Puckett (5-1)

Come From Behind (5-1)

Mike’s Detailing (5-1)

Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks (12-1)

Vaspian (15-1)

Cobblestone (30-1)

 

ILF remains the division favorites, but there’s a tightly contested group of 4 teams just behind them that can easily be standing tall at the end of the season. It’s really hard to separate them from each other, but it’s going to be fun to watch how the standings shake out in the second half of the season. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Tater Tots 40, Come From Behind 22

Tater Tots 39, Mike’s Detailing 22

Vaspian 48, Cobblestone 0

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 51, Bird Watching In Birkenstocks 28

Mike’s Detailing 57, Puckett 32

 

The Tots put up two big wins to get their season back on track as they moved to 3-2. Mike’s Detailing jumped from the loss to the Tots to give Puckett their first loss of the season. Meanwhile ILF took care of BWB, and Vaspian beat up on Cobblestone as well. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

COME FROM BEHIND VS BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS (+8) - After a good start to the season, CFB has dropped their last two, and they weren’t close.  Now they get a BWB team that hasn’t been too shabby so far this season, even with the ILF loss. If BWB wants to jump into the title picture, a win here will help. BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS BY 6

 

PUCKETT VS BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS (+6) - And then after that, a win here would be even better for BWB! Puckett has been a nice squad all season, and they’ll be looking to get back on track after a loss last week to Mike’s Detailing. PUCKETT BY 10

D5

 

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

 

PowerPuff Girls (2-1)

Two Tuddies (4-1)

Sausage McMuffins (4-1)

Blitzkrieg (6-1)

Not So Sticky (8-1)

Jake From State Farm (12-1)

Stir The Sauce (12-1)

Pit Harade (15-1)

Mo’ Chicken (25-1)

 

This is looking to be quite the top heavy division, led by the PowerPuff Girls who are making a slight claim to being the league’s best gender team. However, the Tud Buds, the McMuffins, and Blitzkrieg are all right behind the ladies. You can never count out NSS either. Meanwhile the other teams in the division are still figuring things out as we head into the second half of the season. 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Sausage McMuffins 50, Mo’ Chicken 14

Blitzkrieg 23, Pit Harade 6

Powerpuff Girls 44, Not So Sticky 28

Jake From State Farm 36, Stir The Sauce 15

Powerpuff Girls 43, Jake From State Farm 22

 

The McMuffins emerge victorious in the food challenge battle, easily taking out Mo’ Chicken. Blitzkrieg had no issues with Pit Harade either. The PowerPuff Girls put up two wins on the day, cruising to victories over NSS and JFSF. JFSF, however, emerged victorious in the revenge game against Stir The Sauce. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS VS BLITZKRIEG (EVEN) - The long time D6 rivals meet in D5 for the first time, with both teams looking fit to compete for the D5 title this season. Game of the Day potential here. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8 

 

TWO TUDDIES VS PIT HARADE (+10) - The Tud Buds are having a great season, and now they find themselves refreshed after a week off to take on a reeling Pit Harade team that sits at 0-4. PH can find solace in that they’ve played an insanely tough schedule (PPG, SMM, BK, NSS, and now TT) so far, so the second half of the season should be easier…after this week. TWO TUDDIES BY 12

 

BLITZKRIEG VS NOT SO STICKY (+3) - Game two for Blitzkrieg on the day (they’ll play three!) gives them NSS. At least they’ll have a more relaxing game in between the two other bangers they have to play. BLITZKRIEG BY 7

 

TWO TUDDIES VS BLITZKRIEG (+3) - Game Two for the Tuddies, but Game three for Blitzkrieg. They’ll HAVE to be tired at this point, right? I can only imagine how that will feel on their bones. Getting the Tuddies is an extra punishment on top of it. TWO TUDDIES BY 9

D6

 

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

 

Blue Ballers (4-1)

TMA (4-1)

Balls Deep (4-1)

Sticky Laces (7-1)

Dogg Pound (8-1)

Intentional Clowning (10-1)

Irish Giants (12-1)

Raw Milkers (15-1)

Select (20-1)

 

D6 has become a three team race between the Blue Ballers, TMA, and Balls Deep. Sticky Laces, the preseason favorite, might be sitting at 0-4 but they still have time to figure out what the heck is happening over there, and they showed signs of life last weekend. The Dogg Pound have been a really nice surprise, but I’m not sure they score enough on offense yet to really make some noise. IC is incredibly average - 2-2, 103 PF, 104 PA. The Raw Milkers continue to improve, even if it doesn’t yet look like it. The Irish Giants haven’t had the season they were hoping for, and neither has Select, but both teams seem to be having a good time. That’s something. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Intentional Clowning 50, Raw Milkers 26

TMA 32, Balls Deep 22

Blue Ballers 39, Sticky Laces 36

Dogg Pound 33, Select 6 

 

IC dunked on the Milkers with ease to take the win, while TMA put the boots to Balls Deep (or was that the other way?) with a big win to stay undefeated. The Blue Ballers moved to 4-0 with a close win over the Sticky Laces, who may be figuring it out finally. You know who has figured it out? Dogg Pound. Big win over Select, but then again, everyone gets big wins over Select. Except for the Sticky Laces. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

BALLS DEEP VS RAW MILKERS (+8) - After a rough weekend last week, Balls Deep looks to get back to the win column. They played TMA very tough, and they’re going to be in the mix all season. Getting a Raw Milkers team that hasn’t yet put it all together is the perfect game for BD. BALLS DEEP BY 14

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS SELECT (+10) - IC has been playing pretty well, but they’re getting a Select team that is just rough right now. Not much else to say. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 19

 

TMA VS BLUE BALLERS (EVEN) - Big time ball game right here as the final two undefeated D6 teams play each other in a battle for first place! TMA has been VERY dialed in this season, and they’re looking like the TMA of old, however the Blue Ballers have been quite impressive themselves. Unfortunately, it was reported to me that the BBs will be without their QB this week, leading to some speculation that they’re already making excuses for the second half of the season. TMA BY 13

 

IRISH GIANTS VS RAW MILKERS (+2) - Unsure if either team NEEDS to win this game, but I’m sure they’d like to. The Irish Giants tend to have good vibes regardless of game outcome, but one has to wonder if that will stick around as the losses pile up. The Raw Milkers are WAITING for that first win, and they’re close to it, but it won’t be this week. IRISH GIANTS BY 8

 

DOGG POUND VS STICKY LACES (EVEN) - Another rivalry game! These two teams have played some hard fought battles in the past (including playoff games), and I expect this one to be no different. I’m sure there’s nothing the Dogg Pound would like more than to get the Laces to 0-5, but the Laces truly need this win more to get the monkey off their back. If the Laces can find a way past the DP Defense, they’ll be okay here. STICKY LACES BY 8

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Are The Legends really in any danger? We’ve seen them coast a bit in the past and ramp it up in the playoffs, but I really don’t think that they wanted to lose a game to Eyes Downtown, ever. Which tells me they tried to win and didn’t. I guess they are slightly vulnerable. 

 

 

 

• Another thing I’m keeping my eye on this week is how well Blitzkrieg fares in their TRIPLEHEADER this week. Can they go 3-0? They COULD but they probably won’t. It’s not so much that I worry about conditioning, but it’s more so that they have three tough games: Sausage McMuffins, Not So Sticky, and Two Tuddies. Even if they wanted to “try less hard” against NSS, that’s exactly when NSS strikes. 

 

 

 

• Does it seem like we have parity in the TSL more than usual this season? Looking at the standings, there’s a LOT of teams in the “murky middle” with 1 and 2 wins after 4 weeks. That means we’re in for a lot of entertaining games the rest of the way. 

 

 

 

• Another dynamite job by the scheduler this week as we’re getting some classic TSL matchups this week: Stunts vs Vice, McMuffins vs Blitzkrieg, and Dogg Pound vs Sticky Laces are all matchups that have given us some classics in the past. 

 

 

 

• D4 may need to watch out for Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks. They could very easily be 4-1 by the end of the day Saturday, and they have the right people to do it. But will they? 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Okay Scared Hitless, I’m sorry. I see you now. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day:

• 10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Mavericks

• 11:00 - Passing While Intoxicated vs Practice Squad

• 12:00 - Sausage McMuffins vs Blitzkrieg

• 1:00 - Scared Hitless vs Jabronies

• 2:00 - Dogg Pound vs Sticky Laces

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• D’s Nutz 40, Miles On It 20

• ReinCARnated 32, Mel-icious Minx 30

• Syd On My Face 38, Jen-X 24

 

 

 

• Will Dorene purposely lose her Breakfast Club game so that her son can taste victory? Inquiring minds want to know. 

 

 

 

• Can Buddy Lee win D3 AND D4 QB of the Year? He’s been nothing short of excellent from everything I’ve been told. 

 

 

 

• There might be some rain, it might be a little windy again. Par for the course for you this season. 

 

 

 

• June 7th is coming FAST! Remember that it’s Lenny and Rameer Day! TSL’s unofficial, official holiday. You WANT to be there. 

 

 

 

• There’s absolutely no way that Can’t Touch This keeps scoring at such an alarming rate, right? 

 

 

 

• Remember, we’ll probably see some weird results this weekend, as Memorial Day weekend tends to have lots of key players missing because of random vacations and what not. Should be interesting.  

 

 

 

• The Wanderers really seem poised to go undefeated this season. They play PWI, Practice Squad, and 716 the rest of the way, and they’ll be favored in every single one of them. 

 

 

-GF OUT

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