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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, this is always my favorite, yet hardest, article to write each year. This weekend, the TSL will be celebrating its unofficially official holiday: Lenny and Rameer Day. While a large portion of the TSL Universe is completely aware of who we’re celebrating, and why we’re celebrating them, there’s going to be new people to the league who simply do not. And that’s okay, that’s what I’m here to explain. I’ll say it loud for the ones in the back. 

 

Lenny and Rameer are two of the biggest reasons you’re reading this article right now. They’re two of the biggest reasons for a lot of things: Why you get to wake up on Saturdays and play football at the Rose Garden being chief among them. Yes, Topper played a massive part too, don’t get me wrong, but this isn’t about him. Lenny Alba was the original “Commissioner For Life” of the TSL. As legend would have it, Lenny and Topper would get sick of the former person who ran the local football league, and not too long before that league was supposed to start, Lenny talked to Rose Garden and acquired the fields with Topper, and then he called Scott Airey and the three of them convinced most of the teams that were in that ‘bad guy’ league to come on over and start the new league, that would become the Topper Sports League, or TSL for short. It was quite a massive undertaking to start an entire new league at the last minute, but hell hath no fury quite like a Lenny scorned. I’ll never forget when he called me back then to see if my team would move over with them. It was a no brainer for us, we made the jump happily. But others had reservations or loyalties elsewhere and that’s okay. 

 

Lenny would go on to be the league’s commissioner which pretty much meant he made the rules and told people to stop being jerks when they broke said rules. He worked alongside Topper in enforcing things and building the league up. I’ll never know exactly which things were Lenny and which things were Topper, but a LOT of the hilarity you see around the league or have heard about throughout the years: Clowns, Doug Allen, B’s Brother’s Christmas Album, a Mariachi Band playing, betting buckets on games,, etc, etc came from his, shall I say unique?, brain. If you’ve ever been to the TSL Banquet and you wonder why there’s a 25 foot minion or a 12 foot Stay Puft The Marshmallow Man blowup just hanging around, Lenny is your guy. 

 

But there was more to Lenny than chaos. Not much more, but still more nonetheless. He could often be found on the fields or sitting at the corner of the bar (back when you were constantly allowed inside the bar) talking to someone. He did a very good job of talking to everything he came around - new players, old players, some random boyfriend or girlfriend who wasn’t in the league but was there to watch - it didn’t matter. Lenny would talk to you and it didn’t have to be about football. It could be about anything. He was a big hearted and caring individual, and he was genuine in wanting to get to know you. And if he ever got your phone number? Look out. You were going to get more texts sent to you than you would if you were in a group chat of 12 year old girls who just saw Justin Bieber. If he called you directly and you were foolish enough to pick up, you were going to be on the phone with him for a minimum of an hour. But time always flew by. Either way, he made you feel welcome in the league. He tried to make you feel included. It’s a running theme for this league. 

 

My personal Lenny story (okay, anyone who knew him has at least 17 of these) that I always remember is obviously about this article. When the league started, Topper asked me if I wanted to write for the website he was making for the league, but I had to do two things: 1. Write it how Lenny talks and 2. Never tell Lenny I write it. Topper wanted to drive Lenny nuts with people asking him about it and saying it was him, while also driving him nuts for not knowing who it was and having to find out, because Lenny NEEDED to know. I got away with it for a while before he figured it out. I was never exactly sure how he did it, and I’m pretty sure Topper told him, but I’m glad he did. When I got my job out here in Des Moines, Iowa and had to move, Lenny told me I had to keep writing the article because people keep coming back to the website and they love it. It’s part of what made the TSL the best Social Co-Ed Touch Football League in the world. I loved the league and didn’t want to leave, but I had to, and writing this article helped me feel like I was still a part of it, even if nobody knew who I was. Lenny fed me lots of information that made the articles relevant (in the same way that Topper, and now Jeff have done) and we formed a close friendship because of it. He unfortunately passed away too early on us, but his legend very clearly resonates within the bones of the TSL today. 

 

But Godfather, it’s Lenny AND Rameer Day! Who’s Rameer then? The story of Rameer comes from the story of Topper and Lenny and the TSL. Despite being the best of friends, Lenny and Topper would butt heads along the way about various topics related to the league. They’d also get constant whiny crybabies bothering them all day about how the refs hate them or the rules hate them or it's everyone else’s fault they dropped some ball that could’ve changed the game completely even though they were losing by 32 with 4 minutes to go when it happened. After a while, they grew tired of that. Enter Rameer. Rameer Green was a Syracuse loving TSLer who played in the league and was always looking for ways he could help out because he loved the league. And help out he did. At some point Rameer was named Director of Officiating, which was a big help to Topper and Lenny because now it was on Rameer to find the refs for the games each week, argue with people about the rules, hand out suspensions if needed, and essentially take away a lot of the stuff they didn’t want to fully deal with unless they had to. But most importantly, he became the ‘third man’ in decision making. So whenever Topper and Lenny got into a disagreement about a new potential rule or exactly what ice cream truck they should bring to the fields, Rameer was there to give his impartial feelings on the matter and help them break the tie. 

 

Rameer was known as the “Dirtiest Player In The Game” and while maybe that rang true during some on the field shenanigans, it couldn’t be further from the truth off it. Remember how I told you about how feeling included was a running theme for the league? Rameer was part of that too. Whereas Lenny would default to making you feel included by being loud and making you one of his “characters” and seeing if it stuck, Rameer was more “stealthy” about it. Rameer would hang out at the bar and he had a penchant for noticing someone sitting by themselves or not talking as much. He’d make it a point to go up to them and introduce himself and get to know them that way. He’d eventually bring them over to the group and introduce them to everyone else if they wanted to. If not, he’d sit and talk to you about anything. He liked getting deep with people, really getting to know what makes them tick. He made you feel like you mattered in this league, and I know for a fact that he was the difference between someone playing in this league for a season and having them stay for 10 and counting. He was always there with a kind word and a smile. And let’s not forget his world famous hugs!

 

When Lenny passed, Rameer stepped up big time. He took on the impossible task of filling Lenny’s shoes, but he did an admirable job. It wasn’t too long after that that the cancer hit. Rameer fought like hell, as everyone who knew him knew he would. Unfortunately, he lost his battle. Just like that, the TSL took another HUGE hit. We always celebrate Lenny and Rameer Day in the beginning of June because in a weird coincidence, June 4th is not only Lenny’s birthday, but it’s also the date that Rameer passed away. 

 

All of this was written just to say, when you play your games tomorrow, please go up to the bar and have a drink. When you do that, make sure you raise a toast to Lenny and Rameer. Two wonderful people we all lost too soon. The people that knew them are going to be celebrating them all day, laughing and telling stories. If you didn’t get the chance to know them, you’re going to really wish you did by the day’s end. But make no mistake, this is not a celebration just for the ones that knew Lenny and Rameer. It’s for everyone, you’re all included. 

 

And that’s exactly how they would’ve wanted it. 

D1

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Eyes Downtown 48, Sticky Bandits 24

Legends 43, What A Dump 7

Not much to talk about here. The Top 2 seeds look pretty much locked in after Eyes Downtown disposed of Sticky Bandits yet again, and the Legends took a dump on WAD, who might be regretting certain offseason decisions at this point. 

THIS WEEKS GAMES

 

STICKY BANDITS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+8) - Sticky looks to get back in the win column against a Frodo team still really needing a signature victory. This game could be the difference between playing the Freeballers or WAD in the first round of the playoffs. STICKY BANDITS BY 10

 

WHAT A DUMP VS FREEBALLERS (+7) - The Freeballers are still looking for their first win of the season, while WAD is looking to get it together overall. The Freeballers might be more of an organized unit than WAD at this point, WAD just has the talent. FREEBALLERS BY 2

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS WHAT A DUMP (+10) - The WAD revenge game doesn’t look like it’ll go promising for them, based on how well the “new set of eyes” have worked out for Bobby and Co. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 9

D2

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Mavericks 41, The Malones 40

Can’t Touch This 49, Jabronies 22

Scared Hitless 90, Show Me Your TDs 0

 

Yeah, that’s 90 points. Good work Scared Hitless. The Mavericks get a huge win at the buzzer over The Malones, and CTT just continues to smack the division around at will. 

THIS WEEKS GAMES

 

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS THE MALONES (+8) - CTT’s biggest competition might not even be competition at this point. They’re on a heater for the D2 ages. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 7

 

MAVERICKS VS JABRONIES (+10) - The Mavs found a little bit of that magic they were missing from last season in the win over The Malones, and they’ll be looking to keep the positive vibes flowing and will want to avoid a let down against the Jabronies. MAVERICKS BY 10

 

MAVERICKS VS SCARED HITLESS (+10) - The Mavs found a little bit of that magic they were missing from last season in the win over The Malones, and they’ll be looking to keep the positive vibes flowing and will want to avoid a let down against the Jabronies Scared Hitless.. MAVERICKS BY 10

D3

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Wanderers 55, PWI 52

Buffalo Vice 22, DXYZ 22

Becca Gets Reccked 56, GirthQuakes 40

Bullet Club 46, Cunning Stunts 46

Practice Squad 21, 716 0 (FORFEIT)

 

Wanderers and PWI went to war for D3 supremacy, and the Wanderers took PWI’s best punch and kept on ticking. Vice and DXYZ played to a tie, and Practice Squad got a forfeit win. BGR outlasted the GQs, and then BC and the Stunts also played to a tie as well as D3 continues to be close as always. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

BULLET CLUB VS D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (+3) - A matchup pretty much designed for Lenny and Rameer Day: The Kellers vs Joe K is something Lenny would’ve written into the schedule for today. Both teams haven’t had the best season, and they both need a win in order to potentially avoid an extra playoff matchup. They’ll probably tie, but BULLET CLUB BY 1

 

WANDERERS VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+6) - The Squad gets their shot at the Wanderers to see if they can take them down. Wanderers feel more like a team of destiny than ever this year though. WANDERERS BY 9

 

PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED VS BECCA GETS RECCKED (EVEN) - Assuming both teams have everyone (never a guarantee with these two) we should see a dynamite matchup. PWI has been riding high, but a loss here could really start to sour the season for them. BGR just continues to coast along and have fun playing football. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 7

 

BUFFALO VICE VS GIRTHQUAKES (+6) - The GQs continue to go through some growing pains, but the talent is there to put together a late run. Vice has been up and down, but they just know how to play the game. BUFFALO VICE BY 13

 

CUNNING STUNTS VS 716 (+8) - The Stunts have been rolling and putting up points every week. Not sure that the 716 offense can keep up with it. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

 

BECCA GETS RECCKED VS BULLET CLUB (NO LINE) - These two teams look to pick up a game that was suspended a few weeks ago, but I’m not sure if they’re starting over or starting from the point in the game that they paused at? Jeff Krol didn’t know either. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 6

 

PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED VS CUNNING STUNTS (EVEN) - PWI had the schedule makers do them zero favors this week. Not only do they get a double header, they get a DOOZY of one. Both teams will have played a game, and I think the Stunts might have other girls playing at the same time, so this should be interesting. CUNNING STUNTS BY 2

D4

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Come From Behind 21, Cobblestone 0 (FORFEIT)

Puckett 60, Tater Tots 28

ILF 24, Vaspian 20

ILF 32, Puckett 16

Mike’s Detailing 33, BWB 22

Mike’s Detailing 21, Cobblestone 0 (FORFEIT)

 

Two forfeits puts Cobblestone closer to the season record for forfeits in a season. Mike’s Detailing took a big win over BWB to cement themselves as the #2 seed. Puckett dropped an impressive 60 points on the Tots, only to run out of steam against ILF later on. ILF snuck by a very spry Vaspian team as well. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS VS VASPIAN (+10) - A minor hiccup for BWB as they look to get things on track against Vaspian, who’s starting to look a bit better all of a sudden. BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS BY 12

 

MIKE’S DETAILING VS VASPIAN (+14) - Vaspian DOES have a chance to really rock the TSL if they went 2-0 this week, but the teams they’re playing are just so dialed in right now. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 10

 

PUCKETT VS COME FROM BEHIND (+7) - While the CFB season started promisingly enough, the new old kids on the block in D4 have struggled recently. Puckett meanwhile obliterated the Tots before not really doing much against ILF, but they seem to be the hotter team. PUCKETT BY 8

 

INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS VS TATER TOTS (+7) - The Tots got bopped last week. ILF doesn’t look AS good as they should. But we get a fun Buddy vs B D4 QB matchup here, however something might be wrong with the Tots after last week. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 8

 

D5

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Pit Harade 41, Stir The Sauce 12

Jake From State Farm 31, Mo’ Chicken 29

Blitzkrieg 29, Mo’ Chicken 0

Two Tuddies 29, Not So Sticky 28

Powerpuff Girls 61, Sausage McMuffins 14

 

Pit Harade remembers what it’s like to win a game, dominating STS. JFSF got a close win over Mo’ Chicken, who would then go on to get dunked on by Blitzkrieg. The Tud Buds and NSS played a typical game for those two teams, with the Tuddies sneaking out a win. Lastly, the Powerpuff Girls displayed so much dominance over the McMuffins, they had them calling the girls ‘Daddy’ by the end of it. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS VS STIR THE SAUCE (+17) - Not much is going right for STS this season, and I can’t imagine things get better for them this week going up against an SMM team that has something to prove after last week. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8

 

PIT HARADE VS MO’ CHICKEN (+7) - Pit Harade got it together last week and finally got into the win column this season. Mo’ Chicken played admirably against JFSF, but Blitzkrieg didn’t have much trouble with them. Not sure what you’ll get out of either team on any given week. PIT HARADE BY 8

 

NOT SO STICKY VS JAKE FROM STATE FARM (+7) - The talent line in D5 pretty much seems to rest between these two teams, the 5th and 6th teams in the division. JFSF has been playing pretty well, but so has NSS, and I think they’re a little better overall. NOT SO STICKY BY 10

 

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS TWO TUDDIES (+8) - This week, the Tuddies get their shot at the Girls, as we have an awesome matchup between two undefeated teams (11-0 combined!). The Tud Buds have a lot of great players, but the PPG just feel on another level offensively, and that’ll be the difference. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 13

 

D6

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

TMA 34, Intentional Clowning 12

Irish Giants 23, Sticky Laces 12

Balls Deep 32, Dogg Pound 10

Blue Ballers 53, Irish Giants 26

Raw Milkers 21, Select 20

 

The top teams in the division had easy days as TMA, Balls Deep, and the Blue Ballers all won in pretty convincing fashion. The Irish Giants squashed any rumors of Sticky Laces being “back” pretty quickly en route to a 1-1 weekend. The Raw Milkers continue to stay hot, sneaking by Select. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

BLUE BALLERS VS BALLS DEEP (+1) - A marquee matchup in D6 as two top teams go head to head in order to prove they belong in the championship title conversation. Balls Deep has a better defense, the Blue Ballers have a better offense, so something has to give. The Blue Ballers just feel more fun though. BLUE BALLERS BY 8

 

TMA vs Dogg Pound (+10) - The Dogg Pound offense is pretty terrible, which means the TMA defense may have a field day here. TMA BY 19

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS STICKY LACES (+7) - It appears the “signs of life” coming from Sticky Laces two weeks ago was just their season evacuating its bowels after it died already. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 7

 

TMA vs SELECT (+6) - Select seems to be starting to figure things out as a group, which is a good sign, but TMA has things figured out pretty well. I think Select gives them a scare, and maybe even pulls the upset, but TMA does hold on late. TMA BY 2

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• WILL WE SEE TOPPER?? This season has been missing “the logo” all year, and there’s nothing quite like Lenny and Rameer Day to bring him out of hiding! 

 

 

• CAN PWI DO THE IMPOSSIBLE AND GO 2-0? They’re playing BGR AND The Stunts. Asserting dominance here could be key, or they could be below .500 by the end of the day. 

 

 

 

• After hearing about players berating refs last week, will there be any repercussions from that? Should B’s Brother be in charge of the RPA (Referee’s Protection Agency)? All signs point to yes. 

 

 

 

• What kind of mischief will the TSL get into to celebrate the day? Usually there’s Dunk Tanks and Wheels of Fortune (or punishments!) and various other fun things to do. 

 

 

 

• Is there a scarier place to end up than 1st overall in D4? Sure, you win your division, but you get Cobblestone in the playoffs which is a coin flip, isn’t it? You might win by forfeit and get a bye OR the entire roster may show up, which you have no way of knowing who they are, and you could get surprised and booted right away. IS THIS DARRYL’S PLAN ALL ALONG? IT'S BRILLIANT. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Breakfast Club enters its final week of regular season games before starting playoffs next week. Syd On My Face has clinched one of the byes already, and I’m pretty certain ReinCARnated has the other one clinched even if they lose. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• ReinCARnated 33, Syd On My Face 30

• D’s Nutz 40, Jen-X 22

• Miles On It 30, Mel-icious Minx 28

 

 

 

• I don’t want to get your hopes up too much, but ALLEGEDLY you’re going to have a mostly sunny, 78 degree, sunscreen needing day tomorrow. PERFECT WEATHER FOR LENNY AND RAMEER DAY!

 

 

 

• …And for the EA MusicFest that tends to be on the same day, and takes away half of our league too early. 

 

 

 

• Was there no podcast this week? I didn’t see it posted anywhere. How “The Sentinel” of you Joe K!

 

 

 

• Will TSL Hall of Famers Cookie and Elmo appear this week? I must know! 

 

 

 

• I’m sorry to those of you that came here expecting a super fun hype up article for the weekend, and instead got something a little different. But It’s still important to keep their memories alive. I hope you understand. 

 

 

 

• Remember, you can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to tell me all about your team, and talk smack about my predictions when you defy the odds and pull out a win I didn’t think you could. 

 

 

 

• Something, something, don’t be dicks to the referees or else you’ll get kicked out of the league before they will, we need them more than we need you, something something. 

 

 

 

• Lenny and Rameer Day is one of the best days of the year, as we celebrate two of the best people. Make sure you at least stop up at the bar and say hello, even if only for a minute. Enjoy it! 

 

-GF OUT

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