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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, October 24th in the Year of Our Lord 2026 49 of the TSL’s 51 franchises (we’ve lost two Breakfast Club teams already) will descend upon the Leonard T. Alba III Fields at the Rose Garden at the Angry Buffalo with their minds focused on one thing: Immortality. Okay, 5 other teams have bye weeks, but they should still be included anyway. 

 

Over the last 8 weeks, these teams have navigated through many obstacles, including but not limited to, their opponents, the weather, Field 3, refereeing ranging from “questionable” to “downright brutal”, themselves, injuries, car tire tracks, and whatever else you can think of. For 7 of those teams, all that represents is the path they had to take to achieve Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. It’s their story. For the rest of you, it was just another failed attempt at it. 

 

Everyone had 8 weeks to prepare for these next two. That’s more than enough time to identify what works for you, what doesn’t, which teammates need to be on the field in what situations, and which ones don’t. Sometimes teams make mistakes by not doing what got them here in the first place and they overthink it and change it up. It leads to mistakes with the unfamiliar schemes and plays and before you know it, you’re down 12 with 2 minutes to go and there’s no onside kick to save you (not you, Breakfast Club teams, settle down). Stick with what you know. 

 

TSLers know what they’re playing for. But did you ever think about the WHY you, or others, play? If I got an answer from everyone in the league on what their “why” is, I’d probably get 600 different emails stating different things. Sure, some of them would be pretty basic and similar. They’d say they do it for fun. For exercise. For their teammates. They do it to win, because they like winning. They play because they love the game. They play because their boyfriend’s team really needed another girl. But for others in the league, their ‘why’ is a bit more nuanced. They do it for themselves. Some do it because they want to be the best ever. Some do it because they look in the mirror and want to prove to themselves that they might be 10 or 20 years older than they used to be, but they can still make a difference. Some do it because growing up they were never the star of a team, or even on a sports team at all, and now it’s their time to shine. You know, the kids picked last in gym class. Some do it because others don’t think they can and they want to prove them wrong. Some do it to prove that their hard work in learning how to play, how to catch, how to be a QB pays off. Some do it because others can’t anymore, so they play for them. They do it because they love football so damn much they bought the league. They do it just to spend time with friends, because real life prevents that during the week. They do it because it's their happy place. 

 

Everyone has their own reasons why. For some of you, that why is a whole lot bigger than you could ever imagine. Try to remember that over these next two weeks. 

 

Good luck. 

 

 

(The following championship odds and simulations were run by B's Brother in Madden '27 for us, 10,000 times. All rankings are based on the division, except, of course, for the super secret Topper TSL Ranking system only he knows about. That is a league wide ranking.) 

 

D1:

 

THE STORY: After the smoke has cleared, the Legends remain at the top of the mountain. It’s a bit of a fake out though, as Eyes Downtown probably end up in 1st if Bobby can play every game. Sticky Bandits had a very good season that kind of got away from them in the last couple of weeks. Can’t Touch This proved they belong in D1 (we already knew that), The Malones had a lost season that started to show signs of life, the Freeballers just Freeballered as they do, and Frodo Swaggins had a promising season get derailed by a QB injury. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

Of the two games these  teams played, I’d focus more on the Week 2 matchup, as that had both teams more at full power. The real question is how much did Frodo suffer from a rough season without Garrett for most of the season? Meanwhile, Eyes Downtown looks to be a juggernaut and a half. Frodo will keep it close for a while before Eyes Downtown pulls away. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 11

These teams battled to a tie two weeks ago. For the Freeballers, it was a good feeling to tie Sticky, while to Sticky, it felt like a loss. That’s the story of these two squads this season. The Freeballers just can’t seem to figure it out no matter who they add to their roster, while Sticky just keeps chugging along no matter who they have on the field. STICKY BANDITS BY 7

This game should be everything you want it to be and more. I expect a tight game the whole way through. Can’t Touch This and The Malones (regardless of how this season went) are both on the cusp of playing in a D1 championship game. These two have the makings of being rivals for eternity if they wanted to. This game will be fantastic, but right now one team is a bit more put together than the other. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 3

D2:

THE STORY: PWI started slow but got white hot down the stretch. BQI has been up and down all season, but they’re fantastic when dialed in. Speaking of white hot, there’s Let’s Get Reccked, starting out 0-3 before winning 5 straight. Bullet Club did the opposite, starting out 4-0 before going 0-4 to close the season. DXYZ competes hard and are better than their record shows. And The System ended having a nightmare season they’d rather soon forget. 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES: 

 

LGR ended up with the division’s top defense, which is no easy feat with all teams that can score at will. Well, except for The System, who scored a full gender TD less per game than anyone else in the division. Their offense just isn’t working, and I can’t imagine it’s going to figure it out against one of the hottest teams in the league, a week after losing to them 22-13. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 16

Another matchup between these two teams, who just met last week in a DXYZ victory. Bullet Club’s defense hasn’t been too great which has been part of the reason for their free fall. DXYZ are better than a 3-5 record would suggest, as Team Keller is loaded with talent including more than a few future TSL Hall of Famers. This one is based on vibes alone. D-GENERATION X Y AND Z BY 1

D3

THE STORY: There’s not much to say about D3. It was Grey Hair’s division to lose, and they’ve yet to lose a game. The Stunts can give them a run for their money, so they shouldn’t get too cocky. Mike’s Detailing and Practice Squad find themselves stuck in the middle of that war. Cobblestone is kind of good, when they have a team. It was another rough season for Buffalo Vice. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

Revenge should be on the mind of Mike’s Detailing after Cobblestone knocked them out of the playoffs in D4 last season when they were the top seed and the favorite to win the title. Both teams are now in D3, but MD won’t take Cobblestone lightly, assuming that they show up. I think they’ll be there to play, but Mike’s won’t be playing around. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 21 

Neither team had the season they were hoping for, but that can all go away with a good playoff run. Practice Squad played a pretty tough schedule, but still had the 2nd best defense in the division, which says something. Vice, meanwhile, was last in both categories, and now they get to deal with Playoff B? Good luck. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 8

D4

THE STORY: D4 is just simply bonkers. All of these teams can win the title and you wouldn’t be surprised. This is the true definition of Any Given Saturday, as all of the top teams have beat up on each other in some way, shape, or form. Going team by team seems silly here, because they’ll all say just about the same thing, so here are some highlights: Flying Balls figured out whatever the issue was last season to look more like the team that took the TSL by storm two seasons ago. Balls Deep has had the most uninspiring title defense run we’ve ever seen here in the TSL, but with that said not a soul would be surprised if they ran the table and did it again. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

 

 

The Skeleton Crew have a pretty nice defense, and they know what to do on offense. They had no issue with Golfing during the regular season and I can’t imagine that much will change heading into this matchup. I’d Rather Be Golfing truly lived up to their name, looking like they’d rather do anything other than play football. Well, they won’t have to worry about it next week. SKELETON CREW BY 14

The Tuddies came together at the right time, figuring out how to win games again just as the season ended. They’re trending up while Balls Deep continues to trend down. I don’t mean to heap on Balls Deep, but they’re kind of doing it to themselves. Getting the Tud Budz with a new boost of confidence is not going to help things. TWO TUDDIES BY 13

SECOND ROUND:

The Two Tuddies get another shot at the Coochie Monsters, and they’re ten point underdogs after a 13 point win a week ago? These teams are pretty evenly matched, as they have the top two defenses in the division. The Tuddies are a top 4 team in the division pretending to be a terrible team. The Coochie Monsters are good and they know it. Everyone knows it. The Tuddies don’t know it. TWO TUDDIES BY 3

The Thots have had a pretty great season, and they have their eyes on the championship, as they should. They have the highest scoring offense in the division, and it’ll be tough for the Crew to slow them down. GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS BY 7

It was just a few weeks ago that Not So Sticky was sitting pretty on top of the D4 standings, undefeated. And then the Blue Ballers showed up and turned it all sideways on them. These two teams are more even than you think, as the Blue Ballers had an uncharacteristic dip during the season and should probably be more like a 6-2 squad themselves. This is a must watch game. BLUE BALLERS BY 8

Another 4v5 matchup, another great matchup. The Flying Balls have been a great story this season, rising up the standings to be a true D4 contender. The only thing that really could go wrong for them? Getting the PowerPuff Girls, who are getting better by the week themselves, in the first round. This will be a unique challenge for the Flying Balls that I’m not sure they’re ready for. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 15

 

D5

THE STORY: Victorious Secret came into the division, and showed they should’ve been in D4 the whole time, mostly walking through the division with ease. However, TMA and Blitzkrieg both were up to the task, giving the ladies a run for their money. D5 looks like a 5 team race. Come From Behind played under their own expectations all season, and remain a looming threat. Pit Harade finished the season at 4-4 but their underlying numbers suggest that they’re just the most wildly inconsistent team, or something else was going on this season. Meanwhile, the 716ers, Wet Bandits, and Room 40 all had flashes of greatness, but ended up getting in their own way a few too many times this season. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

Whatever good will Room 40 found over the course of this season is going to be smashed to eternity here. It’s a pretty good bet that Victorious Secret repeats what happened in Week 8. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 22

TMA has had little problem playing in D5, and their incredible defense is a big reason why. It’s not like they can’t score, but they don’t really need that much anyway. The 716ers continued to show improvement this season even with a worse record than last season. However, they struggle with offense a bit still, which makes this a terrible matchup for them. TMA BY 17

The Wet Bandits did give Blitzkrieg (Fall Version) all they could handle a few weeks ago, but all that’s doing now is making sure that BK doesn’t take them lightly again. The Bandits are a very improved team, and they should be happy about how things have gone this year, but as it’s been said before, the top half of the division is a bit ahead of the bottom half. BLITZKRIEG BY 6

Pit Harade did pull off a win against CFB early in the season, and they handled the “bottom 4” teams in the division with relative ease. Other articles on the site point out that they’re worse than their record suggests because of the “underlying numbers” but I think it might just be because they were the unlucky team that got to play Victorious Secret twice. As for CFB, their 4 losses (one was a forfeit against VS) were all one score games. PIT HARADE BY 1

 

D6

THE STORY: A 3 horse race between the Milkers, Giants, and Select happened all year, with the Raw Milkers outlasting their foes to go undefeated on the season. The Sticky Laces were hanging out in the middle of things, but they’ve been on the come up to end the season. SBG and Bengay Bandits both flashed some promise during the season. Meanwhile the Trophes and Blitzed and Confused had a pretty rough go of it. 

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES:

Not much to say here. BnC averaged only 8.25 points a game. The Milkers are playing great football. Such a mismatch. RAW MILKERS BY 22

Select, the team that used to struggle to score but always played excellent defense has figured out how to score. Big time. They led the division in scoring, and they’re looking the best they’ve maybe ever looked. Meanwhile, Cat-Tastrophe was a bit of their namesake as they attempted to navigate the TSL life. It’s a little unfair. SELECT BY 13

This game feels like the other two, where an established, top of the division team gets to take on a lower seeded team that doesn’t really have a chance. SBG had a heck of a season though, and they should look to improve on that in the Spring. I hope they do. IRISH GIANTS BY 15

The Bengay Bandits COULD give the Sticky Laces a fight here, if they get it all together. Add into the fact that the Sticky Laces tend to have a history of playoff misery, and it looks to be a more realistic theory by the second. However, D6 is the haves and the have nots. STICKY LACES BY 3

 

TSC vs THE GODFATHER — PLAYOFF SATURDAY 

SEASON (FINAL, through Week 8):
The Godfather: 121-51-4 SU, 101-67-8 ATS
The TSC: 114-58-4 SU, 90-79-8 ATS

THE TSC’S PICKS:

D1
(#2) EYES DOWNTOWN VS (#7) FRODO SWAGGINS (+15) -- EYES DOWNTOWN BY 17
(#3) STICKY BANDITS VS (#6) FREEBALLERS (+9) -- STICKY BANDITS BY 6
(#4) CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS (#5) THE MALONES (+8) -- CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 5

D2
(#3) LET’S GET RECCKED VS (#6) THE SYSTEM (+7) -- LET’S GET RECCKED BY 4
(#4) BULLET CLUB VS (#5) D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (+4) -- D-GENERATION X Y AND Z BY 1

D3
(#3) MIKE’S DETAILING VS (#6) COBBLESTONE (+10) -- MIKE’S DETAILING BY 7
(#4) PRACTICE SQUAD VS (#5) BUFFALO VICE (+11) -- PRACTICE SQUAD BY 8

D4
(#7) SKELETON CREW VS (#10) I’D RATHER BE GOLFING (+9) -- SKELETON CREW BY 6
(#8) TWO TUDDIES VS (#9) BALLS DEEP (+8) -- TWO TUDDIES BY 5

SECOND ROUND

(#1) COOCHIE MONSTERS VS (#8) TWO TUDDIES (+10) -- COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 7

(#2) GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS VS (#7) SKELETON CREW (+8) -- GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS BY 5

(#3) NOT SO STICKY VS (#6) BLUE BALLERS (+6) -- BLUE BALLERS BY 3

(#5) POWERPUFF GIRLS VS (#4) FLYING BALLS (+3) -- FLYING BALLS BY 2 

D5
(#1) VICTORIOUS SECRET VS (#8) ROOM 40 (+15) -- VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 17
(#2) TMA VS (#7) 716ERS (+10) -- TMA BY 7
(#3) BLITZKRIEG VS (#6) WET BANDITS (+10) -- BLITZKRIEG BY 7
(#5) COME FROM BEHIND VS (#4) PIT HARADE (+9) -- COME FROM BEHIND BY 6

D6
(#1) RAW MILKERS VS (#8) BLITZED AND CONFUSED (+15) -- RAW MILKERS BY 17
(#2) SELECT VS (#7) CAT-TASTROPHE (+15) -- SELECT BY 17
(#3) IRISH GIANTS VS (#6) SBG (+14) -- IRISH GIANTS BY 16
(#4) STICKY LACES VS (#5) BENGAY BANDITS (+7) -- STICKY LACES BY 4

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY: 

 

-My current picks for the champions of each division: Eyes Downtown, BQI, Grey Hair - Don’t Care, PowerPuff Girls, TMA, and Select. 

 

-Which #1 seed is the most likely to lose this weekend? Well, I already picked the Coochie Monsters to lose to the Two Tuddies, three other #1 seeds are on bye, and the other two might set playoff scoring records, the Coochie Monsters. 

 

-Which team seeded lower than #3 could pull off a championship from each division? The Malones could win the title if they get their groove back. If Bullet Club plays like they did in the first month of the season, they could do it. Practice Squad has Playoff B. I said the PowerPuff Girls, but I’ll say Two Tuddies here for D4, There’s no reason Come From Behind couldn’t go on a magical run in D5. D6? I would have to go with the Sticky Laces for that one. 

 

-Is it just me or does this season feel more “chalky” than the last few have been? I think each division (for the most part) has a pretty clear line of “who’s good and who’s not so good”, which is contributing to that. Except for D4. 

 

-If you could only choose one game to watch this week, what would it be? The game I most have my eye on is going to be Not So Sticky vs Blue Ballers. It’s going to be a good one. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY

 

-Breakfast Club Predictions: 

D’s Nutz 32, Missydemeanor 20

Steph Infection 27, Carly-fornia Dreaming 22

 

-Games of the Day: 

10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs The Malones

11:00 - Pit Harade vs Come From Behind

12:00 - Flying Balls vs PowerPuff Girls

1:00 - Not So Sticky vs Blue Ballers

2:00 - Bullet Club vs D-Generation X Y and Z

3:00 - Sticky Laces vs Bengay Bandits

 

-Your weather is looking like a Sunny, 64 degree day outside. Be prepared! 

 

-The Banquet is still being worked out! Details are coming soon I’m told! 

 

-Go vote for awards! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Hjhn9jaxDmI_FUHuYYIwfhkPe21VqO06f8OHMX36N6Y/edit

 

-Garrett has already gotten ahead of it with the video from his good friend Gene Steratore, but please remember that even though the games are more important than ever, there are going to be bad calls and mistakes and try your best not to completely lose your mind. 

 

-There’s a very real chance that we get Victorious Secret, PowerPuff Girls, and Cunning Stunts as champions. It would be amazing for all three gender teams to pull that off. Girl power!

 

-I kind of think Let’s Get Reccked is going to win D2 the more that I think about it. 

 

-If you take Victorious Secret’s games out of D5, here are your PF/PA averages:

 

PF AVG

 

• Blitzkrieg — 30.71

• Come From Behind — 29.00

• Wet Bandits — 25.29

• Pit Harade — 24.50

• TMA — 23.86

• Room 40 — 20.57

• 716ers — 20.29

 

PA AVG 

 

• TMA — 15.14

• Pit Harade — 24.33

• Come From Behind — 25.14

• Wet Bandits — 26.43

• Blitzkrieg — 26.57

• 716ers — 27.71

• Room 40 — 28.86

 

 

-The only other team that affected its division that much was Grey Hair in D3. 

 

Good luck to all of you chasing immortality. You’ll need it. 

 

-GF OUT

 

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