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“Don’t waste your time trying to get in my head.  There’s nothing there…..”

Denny Crane

Enter Week #9 or is it #8. It’s November and that means the playoffs are quickly approaching. I am not exactly sure how this is all going to end. The weather sucks and no official word has been determined though I am hearing we are just going to play this week out then go right to the playoffs as the weather continues to be a bear. I am not sure which games are scheduled and what is being made up so I am just taking this time to go over what is at stake this week and where we are heading as the chase for Social Co-ed Football Immortality is about to begin…..are you ready?

DIVISION #1 What’s at stake this week?

To be honest alot is at stake this week. The #1 seed is usually what everyone is playing for as the #2 seed has to draw Marketing Mayors “theoretically” in round #2 and no one wants that. PE and ED God willing will finally have at it for all the marbles. If PE wins they take the #1 seed no matter what. If ED wins they will need to take that game and come back down from 14-0 to RAS to take the #1 seed. ED is as good as it gets so this is absolutely possible. I am hearing things these days…. For one where is Bro? If he is not playing QB down the stretch HATBF is done like dinner. The MM vs TEIM game is big if you ask me. TEIM is reeling right now as injuries have struck. If they lose to MM they could drop to the #4 seed which is a place where I do not think they want to be at seasons end.  RAS seems to have kicked their game up a nickel and could be a very interesting first round matchup for some teams. They still have a battle tested Dave Chelus at QB who has the arm to get it through the muck in November. I still wonder if AB even fields a team heading into the playoffs. Disaster and questionable player management has killed this squad. I feel bad for Coach Jay who has valiantly played through this mess as he has showed up with a smile on his face week after week. As we get closer to the playoffs I will be keeping a keen eye on the #3-#5 seeds in the D1 dance as that is where the story is if you ask me.

DIVISION #3 What’s at stake this week?

Everything is as stake this week. I still have no clue what is going to happen here. Team Topper is sitting at 6-1 but everyone knows Topper is one of the worst “bad weather” QBs in the game today. Looks like Topper draws SITE this week in crappy weather. If SITE wins or holds tough everyone will be calling for another first round shocker of Team Topper. DMX v Gryffindor is easily the game of the day in D3. DMX is getting hot at the right time and boasts a tremendous “bad weather” team. Their QB is made for the mud and slop of November. Joey Batts and Co are 5-2 but I don’t think many are giving them a fighting chance this session. A&A is loaded top to bottom but they are another team that could struggle in the mud as they are a quick track team that might not be as efficient in the slop. Bullet Club hasn’t really impressed the last month or so but they should have enough to carry against Sticky Bandits. Are Morning Wood a contender or pretender and more importantly where the heck did their QB go? This is a weird week as many of the “D3 favorites” have easy matchups this week so we might not learn a ton this week. I will say it again there are few players with more pressure on them this week than the Topper as he must shake this “bad weather QB” myth once and for all. If SITE wants to know once and for all if they are to be taken seriously come playoff time this is the week they will find out. Is this it for our #icon Darryl Carr QB Superstar? NO..NO…NO…There is no way he’s retiring he’s still at the top of his game but is it finally time to start thinking about a move to D4 in the Spring?

DIVISION #4 What’s at stake this week?

I bet no one is angrier at the weather right now than 3^rd and Schlong. They were getting hot and starting to make a move up the ladder then BOOM the weather struck now they have to start all over again. This week they have (2) big games with Indecent Exposure and their bitter rival No Punt Intended. Though to be honest this game will not be the same without Kyle Coniff in it. I like when he totally covers Katie Keller and she gets all mad. BSS vs Ultimate Warriors should be awesome. BSS has looked dialed in these days especially on offense and could go as high as the #2 seed if they take this game. I need to be honest I never saw that coming. UW is another team that is built for the slop and will shine in the crappy weather of November. HK7 is in a very interesting spot as they sit at 4-2. They have a very winnable game with Steve’s Cuz’ins but what will happen with Cintas? Emily 2.0 and Joey Batts fight back to back with the Stunts but can they fight face to face when Cintas has at it with HK7? NPI looks like they might miss the playoffs unless they can somehow channel the spirits of playoffs past and win 2 games this week and hope for an Indecent Exposure loss or a Steve’s Cuz’ins loss. Easier said than done.

DIVISION #5 What’s at stake this week?

I heard from a friend who has another friend who knows a guy who dated a girl whose college roommate told an acquaintance who told their second cousin twice removed who told their divorce attorney who then told their accountant who saw Topper at Wegmans one day and told him who then told me that Matty Ice could be MIA this week and the Topper could be playing QB for the Angels. Lord help them if the weather sucks. If you want to see the fight of the century look no further than ACE, UFO, Vandalay Industries and Hope N Ruin. (4) teams go to battle this Saturday but only (2) of them walk away with playoff spots. It’s going to be bedlam people! I didn’t do the math but if Witter’s lose they could somehow get thrown into this mess as well. Don’t look now but if the Stunts win and the Topper totally implodes in the weather (which is definitely possible) the Stunts could theoretically steal the #2 seed in the playoffs. I still hope the Stunts and Angels take the #2 and #3 seeds so they meet at some point in these playoffs. IT HAS TO HAPPEN! Wow I just looked again, CFB if they lose both games could end up 3-5 and they too could be in playoff trouble by days end. D5 is easily where the best race is.

DIVISION #6 What’s at stake this week?

To be honest not much, though, if you play for the BiPolar Express this really is your last chance at a victory. Most of the seeds are sown up and I do not expect much to change heading into the playoffs. Celino Sewer Rats and the Peachy Platoon all are off this week which means they don’t really care either. This is really a 3-4 horse race and I still think this could all be about CSR vs PP. You have to feel for BPE. They have quietly gotten better and better week after week. If they don’t win this week they are done like dinner next week as they will face the #1 seed which should beat them rather easily. I still am very surprised Practice Squad is sitting at 3-3 as I think they are way better than their record indicates. They could be a team to keep your eyes on the next few weeks.

5 Questions for Saturday

1. Will the weather hold? It has not been pretty the past few weeks and things do not look so good for Saturday. I wonder if the football Gods do right by the TSL and give us some nice weather for about 8 hours or so.

2. Will Morning Wood figure out their attendance issues or are they heading for a first round shocker this playoff? MW hasn’t really taken the next step like many thought they would. I see talent on their side of the field but they just haven’t shown much consistency in their play or their attendance yet to be considered a serious D3 title threat.

3. So who would win between the #6 seed in D4 (3rd and Schlong) and the #5 seed in D3 (Bullet club). Right now the answer is obviously 3AS as they called out BC at least 2-3 times but apparently Bullet Club must be too afraid to play them right now or like ever.

4.  Where is Bro? There are rumors circulating he might be gone longer than first anticipated. If he is gone for an extended amount of time HATBF might struggle to get out of the 1^st round of the playoffs. No one can either confirm nor deny what is actually going on here but we the TSL journalistic universe will continue to dig until we get to the truth. We tried to contact “potted plant” who basically just gave us a “no comment” on the situation.

5.  Is BiPolar Express destined to taste victory this week or are they destined to go winless the rest of the way? Their last and final chance at victory comes this week against a very beatable 2-4 Tight End Zones.

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eyes on this week is in D3 where DMX has it with Gryffindor. These two teams are both sitting at 5-2. DMX has a QB who can thrive in the slop but can Joey Batts overcome crappy weather to push Gryffindor to victory this week? The winner of this game could enter the playoffs as the odds on favorite to take the title home.

2. You have to love the battle looming in D5 between up to as many as like 6 teams. CFB, UFO, ACE, Vandalay, Witters and Hope N Ruin all have either 2 or 3 wins. UFO’s shocking win over HNR on Tuesday totally threw this race into hyper drive. If I had to guess I would say UFO and ACE miss the playoffs. It’s looking like ACE vs Vandalay Industries will be a win and your in situation.

3.  I said it earlier and will say it again I am curious to see how SITE does Saturday. They are   way better than last year but are they a team that should be considered dangerous come playoff time? They have winnable games against Sticky Bandits and Team Topper in the rain. If they win both they might turn some heads but if they don’t then I doubt anyone takes notice.

4. I see a very interesting battle developing in D4 between the #2-#5 seeds. UW, BSS, 3AS, HK7 and Cintas have all had up and down moments this session but each and every team at their best can give Puckett All Stars the fight of their lives in the D4 title game. We should have a clearer idea of who is who by days end in this division.

5. As I write this I thought back to the good ole days. I thought about all the fun we had some time ago when Dove screwed up the clock and Bullet Club got hosed as Cobblestone won at the end. At the time it was a sticky situation but right now I think it’s funny and Bullet Club lost which is even funnier. It’s not funny when a team loses due to a clock mishap. It is funny when a team stacks their roster to win a title they shouldn’t have won but they lose a game due to a clock/ref mishap. I only thought of this because Cobblestone will have some things to think about for the Spring. Yes they are an awesome franchise and yes Darryl Carr QB Superstar is in a league all by himself but it might be time to make the jump to D4. Cobblestone was not in many games this year. One of the best things about this league is you can easily go up and down in divisions. Now I am not calling for CS to go to D4 nor am I saying it in any way, shape or form but what I am saying is it might be time to think about stuff…

6. Will the Cunning Stunts and Matty’s Angels still have their dream matchup before this season ends? More importantly will the Topper fold in the rain and is it possible Matty’s Angels drop both games and the Stunts win and steal the #2 seed? Oh that would be totally cray cray if that happens.

7. Topper has to be looking out his window right now wondering quietly to himself if the rumors are true. Is he truly a “big game QB” or is he “destined for doom” in the bad weather. Topper will be in some of the biggest games of the day Saturday. If Topper lays an egg this week he could cost teams precious playoff spots. Topper could show up and have the day of his life or he could have the worst day of his career on a day that is calling for winds, rain and totally crummy weather. Oh man the Topper will be up against it this week. No pressure Topper…..no…..press……ure…

8. It is Hatfields vs McCoys on this week between the (2) best teams in the game today. Eyes Downtown and Public Enemy FINALLY (weather permitting) will be getting it on at 10am on Field #1. We have discussed the strengths and the weaknesses of both almost to nausea. It is now time for (2) teams to take the field of battle this week to find out which team is better. When all the talking is done and the dusts settles this game will simply come down to execution.

9. Ladies and gentlemen the last few weeks have not been easy here in the TSL Universe. The rain and crappy weather has really affected games which has affected standings which has affected our season. Please remember as we head to the field of battle this week that this is a league of fun and we are doing our best to get the games in and completed so the playoffs can begin. The games may be off a few minutes due to rain etc. so let’s stay patient and do our best together to get through it.

10. Just an FYI….. In the next few days an email will be going out to all captains. Let us first congratulate all teams as they have improved dramatically in the sub abuse portion of the program. In the next few days we will be sending out an email listing specific girls that CAN NOT sub for any team in this sessions playoff. Please also know that each and every sub request for playoffs will be scrutinized and if we feel you are unfairly stacking your team with better players than you have we will simply reject your sub request. Please go to the rule book and check what your options are heading into next weekend.

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