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Before I get started - please save the date. We're looking at January 3rd for our annual banquet. Our banquets have always been a great time - this one should be know different. The last one was literally the greatest one to date. So please make sure you are ready to party and available to do so. We will send more info out as it becomes available (ticket prices, deals on rooms, etc.).We will also update you on any wine tours we may have this Fall, Winter or Spring.

It was great to see people who didn't make the playoffs or who had a bye show up this week. I hope players from eliminated teams stop by The Rose Garden this week to check out the games as well. It's always better when you have the league watching their peers play.

And now...to what I really need to type this week...

You know what sucks?

I had it all set and primed what I was going to write for this week. After last week's "softer" article, I was going to continue the trend. Give shout outs to players and teams, thank a few people, make some jokes, have some fun. But you guys have to be...you guys. Like...that small percentage of you that had me and Lenny fed up at the end of every season - you f**ks can't help yourself.
Joe K has said "I can feel the anger and exasperation in your writing."

Joe K isn't wrong. 

I'm not going to rehash crap detail for detail, but I had TWO forfeited games this week due to skirting of the rules. One game had both teams do it. Topper decided to have the game replayed (a decision  that was actually voted on by people who assist us, he didn't do it alone) - and a bunch of you liked it, a bunch of you didn't. 

I don't care. 

Look - the teams have been addressed, and we will handle them accordingly. I don't feel that any peanut gallery folks need line for line explanations of what we're doing, will do, etc. cuz you're rarely around to offer solutions. You're sure there to tell us how we aren't doing things right though when we spend 8 out of 12 months running this thing for YOUR enjoyment. Newsflash - we're the only one of 3 football leagues that doesn't run their league like a business first, but with the teams and players more so in mind. A profit isn't made on this thing. I tell you that every year, I don't know if you guys understand that or what. 

I'm done being repetitive. This Saturday, just like I had the rosters and waivers literally open on my phone all day - it'll be the same thing this week. And I'll be quick to be The Bad Guy this week. Think of this week as me being Maximus Villainus Saturday. Trust me on this one. Saturday was bad enough, but you guys have definitely made it more of a headache since the last whistle blew. 

And I want to get something out there right now. 

I don't know what some of you discuss at the bar or amongst yourselves. But there have been several teams at different points this session who have given some variation of "Oh yeah, well we might not play in this league" when they've been called to the table for doing something wrong, against the rules, etc. Like - you say it cuz we're enforcing the rules. Cuz YOU did something wrong. And apparently, you think this will make me or Topper respond "OH NO - WE'RE SORRY. DON'T LEAVE US!!!"

Get ALL the way the f**k out of here with that. 

Let me be clear - I don't want any team to leave. I'm not telling any teams to leave. What I am saying is if you want to leave our league to go play somewhere else because you don't follow rules and guidelines given to you months ago and are reminded of regularly? BYE. Those teams who have said it to me have received various synonymous "I don't give a f**k" responses from me. The fact that you would even remotely try to threaten us for things you know are wrong...

If you wanna leave, peace. I'll shed as many tears with you leaving as I did when you came. Knock that ish off NOW. I KNOW the way that the other leagues are run. Any implication that we run things badly is a joke. One league is run so god awful it's literally the reason the other two leagues exist. The other league is run by a guy I really like and I've got nothing bad to say about him or the league he owns/runs at all. But please don't think we're begging for teams to stay or join us. We provide a place to play, have fun and make awesome connections around sports. If you choose another option to do that - that is your right. But threats don't move Topper or myself. The two legit leagues have 40+ teams, and we're one of those two. You leaving for things you did wrong ain't gonna make me bat an eye. Hell, I might not notice you - someone had to point out a team that didn't come back this Saturday. I literally didn't think about them until the person mentioned them.

Stop that ish. 

Running this league isn't easy, and it actually is a nuisance due to some of you. And just know - it's a slap in the face when some of you KNOW myself or Topper haven't been dictators. When the bar complains about something, and I KNOW who did what. But I smooth it over. When you wanted to sub, but technically you're not supposed to - and I said "go ahead". When your team, ignoring the fact that Topper told you in mid-summer to get in game change requests or days you couldn't make it, asks him to move mountains to reschedule a game - jacking up THE ENTIRE schedule for the following weeks - and Topper does it. When you've engaged in bad behavior, and I KNOW it - and I don't say a f**king word. Not even to you again, even though you KNOW I know. 

So when I hear anyone whining and crying...yeah, I know y'all. And I know which ones of y'all really ain't worth the headaches we give ourselves to make this thing go, with nothing more to honestly show than the fact that we made y'all happy. Like...that's it. That's the effin' reward. It ain't like the bank statement is popping when it's all said and done - most times, it's in the red. Any of you think or care about that? Most don't. And I keep that ish in mind when y'all are asking Topper to rent an aircraft carrier cuz it would be "cool" with no thought to who is paying for that ish, how much it costs, etc. How many of you have ever offered to chip in for all the extras Topper throws about? 

Topper's my friend. Like...my legit buddy. He probably doesn't like me voicing certain things (hell, I KNOW he doesn't) - but I ain't lying. And there's a reason why Lenny would always say "I don't know if I can keep doing this" every year. Cuz this ish can be exhausting. Very few of you are like a Chris Cole, who offers to help in any capacity and never takes us or this for granted. I call his name out cuz I appreciate him, and the Coach Jays and others like them. 

Most of y'all mean well, but you're like butt zits - you might not be known to the world to see obviously, but you still are a pain in the a$$ until you go away. And I'm not talking about nameless, random folks either - some of you I'm cool with. Very cool with. But y'all need to get a life sometimes. I don't want to hear you crying, whining, SNITCHING out of malice, searching for loopholes in rules, trying to micro-manage ish that doesn't apply to you at all, etc. 

I'm gonna shift things now. 

I hope Public Enemy or Gryffindor win the D1 title. I hope Peachy Platoon lives up to my expectations I have for them literally every season. I hope Matty's Angels and TMA get titles. And I hope if you take offense in anyway that I didn't mention your team - that I can upset you even more once you reveal to me that you care THAT much about what I'd like to see happen.    

I want to publicly commend my refs. They did a great job last week. They take a lot of you guys' crap too, and they grin and bear it. My refs overall are awesome. Not perfect, not without fault - but they're there no matter what, and they perform brilliantly. And I love 'em for that.

Thank you, Emily Curry. Emily has been far more awesome this session than most of you remotely realize. I value her immensely. 

I was supposed to be all excited about how big upset Saturday was last week, with all the unexpected victories by teams. Instead - here we are. But I refuse to end this article on a completely bad note...instead, I will use the final part of this article to reveal THE TOPPER SPORTS FALL 2019 AWARD NOMINEES. They are as follows:

D1 MVP NOMINEES                                                  D2 MVP NOMINEES
Jeff Farr, Eyes Downtown                                        Delano Fabor, A&A
Cody Stumpf, Eyes Downtown                                 Drew Colosimo, Hofbrauhaus Buffalo
Jeremy Burr, Gryffindor                                             Pete Nguyen, Hofbrauhaus Buffalo 
Andy Smith, Marketing Mayors                                Dean Thompson, Peachy Platoon

Nick Wendt, Tight Ends In Motion                          Chris Shriver, Slytherin In That Endzone 

D1 FEMALE MVP NOMINEES                                   D2 FEMALE MVP NOMINEES
Joey Ruderman, Eyes Downtown                            Maggie Lamantia, A&A 
Jillian Battaglia, Gryffindor                                       Taylor Pagano, A&A
Cheryl Julicher, Public Enemy                                  Brandy Clarke, Hofbrauhaus Buffalo   
Katie Salisbury, Tight Ends In Motion                     Joy Thompson, Peachy Platoon  
Lindsay Stoddard, Tights Ends In Motion               Jessica Cunningham, Slytherin In That Endzone

D1 TOP QB                                                                D2 TOP QB
Bobby McConnell, Eyes Downtown                     Matty Ice, A&A
Joey Batts, Gryffindor                                             Ricky Austin, Bullet Club  
Mark Dalfonso, Marketing Mayors                      Topper, Hofbrauhaus Buffalo
Chris Cole, Public Enemy                                        Dean Thompson, Peachy Platoon
Mike McKenrick, Tight Ends In Motion                Matt Newman, Slytherin In That Endzone

D3 MVP NOMINEES                                                  D4 MVP NOMINEES
Mike Rawdin, All We Do Is Qwinn                         Mitch Bennett, Buffalo Solar Solutions
Brandon Farr, End Game                                         Cody McGregor, Mountain Dew Me
Garrett Beesing, Frodo Swaggins                           Kyle McGregor, Mountain Dew Me 
Jay Elphick, No Punt Intended                                Anthony Deak, Uncle Rico's
Dave Baker, Sticky Bandits                                      Chris Nelson, Uncle Rico's 

D3 FEMALE MVP NOMINEES                                   D4 FEMALE MVP NOMINEES
Katie Keller, 3rd & Schlong                                      Amy Denning, Buffalo Solar Solutions 
Kat Peters, All We Do Is Qwinn                               Caitlin Mason, Buffalo Solar Solutions 
Jamie Warren, End Game                                        Margo Jablonski, Matty's Angels   
Elena Schratz, No Punt Intended                            Chelsea Manikowski, Unlce Rico's  
Heather Tighe, Vaspian                                           Jackee Thompson, Uncle Rico's

D3 TOP QB                                                                D4 TOP QB
Vince Traverno, All We Do Is Qwinn                    Andy Clark, Buffalo Solar Solutions
David Eickhoff, End Game                                     Joey Batts. Cunning Stunts  
Scott Drosendahl, Frodo Swaggins                      Matty Ice, Matty's Angels
Joe Miano, Jabronies                                             McGregor, Mountain Dew Me
Kyle Conniff, No Punt Intended                            Tim Zielinski, Uncle Rico's


D5 MVP NOMINEES                                                  D6 MVP NOMINEES
Derek Mears, En Fuego                                             Gronk, Graves Bros.
Matt Keita, En Fuego                                                 Eric Pochylyski, pAssless Chaps
Chris Dimmerly, Hope 'N' Ruin                                Ron Webb, TMA 
Ben Sears, Over Compensators                               Nick Debbins, Wild Oak Beard Co.
Jamie McCabe, Practice Squad                                Scott Musial, Zack Attack 

D5 FEMALE MVP NOMINEES                                   D6 FEMALE MVP NOMINEES
Jen Stachura, Come From Behind                              Kassiani Strembenis, Graves Bros. 
Dorene Major, En Fuego                                             Katie Swanson, The Replacements 
Kate Bagley, Hung Buffalo                                          "Drunk Meg" Rummings, TMA   
Cindi Bardo, Over Compensators                               Stephanie Czaja, TMA  
Renee Lantz, Practice Squad                                      Whitney Linderman, Zack Attack


D5 TOP QB                                                                D6 TOP QB
Paul Lovullo, Come From Behind                          Gordon Kus, BiPolar Express
Blase DaLuca, En Fuego                                           Steve Miller, Graves Bros.  
Michael Hayden, Hung Buffalo                               "Coach" Jay Jaskier, pAssless Chaps
Larry Chruscial, Over Compensators                      Ryan, TMA
Brian Stoldt, Practice Squad                                     Zack Elphick, Zack Attack


This is just the initial list of players. There may be a few other awards added to the list. The good thing about this - it's not etched in stone. If you see some names you think should replace others on this list or want to offer your thoughts on it, email me directly at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Until awards are handed out January 3rd - we're open to suggestions and revisions can (and likely will) occur. 

See y'all Saturday - I'll be in the cut. Totally over everything. 







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