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THE SENTINEL: WEEK 4

Category: The Sentinel
Created: Wednesday, 15 May 2019 12:28
Published: Wednesday, 15 May 2019 12:28
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2548

 

Week 3 has come and gone and teams are beginning to show their true colors. The sense of who is for real and who may be along for the ride is beginning to become apparent. From my wanderings, I’m noticing playmakers are becoming abundant in every division.

First off I have to mention the shenanigans going on in Breakfast Club. It seemed as though every game had some type of side bet. Bern Them All and EmC HammerTime had a candy bet, Peanut Butter Kelly Time had a bra on the line, but perhaps the most notorious of bets made to date, was a side side bet between Blasé and 40 Year Plan Guy. After some deliberating, it was decided the loser would get their make-up done to be worn the rest of the day. This was agreed upon by both teams then the wheels in Topper’s head started to spin and he asked himself that age-old question “What Would Lenny Do?” Enter: Punkin the Clown. Punkin showed up with her wagon in tow and proceeded to wait on the side line for the unfortunate loser. The game was close and 40 YPG did his best to get his team a win but they came up short and he was found post game with Punkin while Blasé looked on in triumph. He then proceeded to go to his 3rd and Schlong game with full clown make-up. Punkin even stayed and made some animal balloons later in the day. JZ, Corey, and Austin played great on defense to help secure the win for Blasé.

Hot TaMolly’s played Schilling Em Softly in what turned out to be the latter’s closest game yet. The TaMolly’s were up 12 at one point without QB Garrett in attendance, but 2 picks in the final minutes of the game resulted in SES remaining undefeated.

Bern Them All won against a Drew-less EmC HammerTime 42-25. The game was closer than the score shows. Both teams played well defensively. The momentum of the game changed significantly when Katie Salisbury was injured during a play. She was walking on it but did not return to the game. We hope it is not a serious injury and she will be back playing soon.

After losing earlier and rocking a full make over, 40 YPG was looking for redemption during his 10:00 game. They played Slytherin That End Zone who were coming off a big win last week against Ultimate Warriors. Let me tell ya, SITE has some serious athletes on their roster. The one kid with the white compression pants is quick as hell, has some serious hops and hands to back all that up. They have height and speed all along their ranks. QB Newman fell in the QB ranking and I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw another drop following 2 more losses on the day (the other with BC). SITE appeared to have the game under control and scored a respectable 28 points, but 3rd and Schlong is out to prove Week 1 was strictly because of the weather and put up 40 points. I know I’ve mentioned the tall guy before and I really should learn his name but he was making plays. Austin Weber had a pick at the end of the game to seal the deal. 40 YPG was in a much better mood when he went back with Punkin to complete his bet by putting on some glasses, a hula skirt and coconut bra.

Over on Field 4, Buffalo Solar Solutions played Full Throttle in a battle of deep balls. Both teams have height and speed and they used them accordingly. BSS has looked sharp and is quickly emerging as an early favorite for the R2 championship. They had the girl edge in this game with #3 making some great catches. BSS QB looked sharp and clearly has a ton of faith in his receivers. FT has Lou throwing and while neither of these guys have made the Power Ranking yet I wouldn’t count them out. Lou wasn’t afraid to let it rip down field but if I had a receiver who was give-or-take 6’8 I probably wouldn’t hesitate either.

Practice Squad gave the Bambs their first loss of the season in a real close game ending up at 32-29. PS’s QB looked like he absolutely could hold his own in a higher division. He was scrambling all over the place, taking the short yardage when it was given to him and letting it fly down the field. PS’s girls are legit, they ran crisp routes and have solid hands. I don’t know if the real tall guy that played for the Bambs in seasons past is still on the roster but I have yet to see him. I will be interested to see how they progress along with the other teams in this small division. 

A beacon of light appeared to shine down on Field 2 at noon this week as TSL Superstar League Icon Darryl made his glorious return to us. His hair was magnificent; however, the game did not go his way. Indecent Exposure, who has been a solid, if not middle-of-the-pack, team for several seasons now, was scoring at will. They put up 53 points to Cobblestone’s 20. Cobblestone could not find an answer on defense and IE has the experience to play their weaknesses. I’m not worried. Darryl always manages to find some stud athlete off UB or some former NFL practice squad player to take over and keep them in the season. This is just the start for Cobblestone.

Marketing Mayors took all the wind out of the sails of 1 Todd Too Many, winning 54-18. 1TTM just could not hold on to the ball in the first half, causing the game to spiral out of control. MM called in Andy Smith to QB in the second half. Then pretty much every one else got their chance at Q. Ya hate to see these types of games but eh, it happens. I have no doubt 1TTM will be able to forget it and take on this week fresh.

pAssless Chaps played TMA also at noon. Unfortunately for PC, they caught TMA on the week they finally started to gel. Despite being the slower of the teams, TMA was able to hold their own on defense with 2 picks and Ferger was back in form. Newest female addition, Val Testa, brought in a deep pass for a TD while Ron does what he does and made plays on both sides of the ball. PC are sitting at 0-4 and need Coach Jay to regroup and figure out what it’s going to take to salvage their season. The upside for them? R4 teams play each other multiple times during the season so having Coach Jay there to make adjustments is just what the doctor ordered.

A&A played Gryffindor in what was presumably Joey Batts’ worst nightmare of a game. While 22 points may not seem like a huge amount to give up on defense, Gryffindor went 0-fer and left with their tails between their legs. It’s got to be said Joey had a rough game. Maggie was a thorn in his side during the rush, combining for 4 sacks. She also could not be stopped or caught on offense. Word around the bar later was Gryffindor has too many throw-it-to-me type players in the huddle guaranteeing they will be open. That’s not how it works guys; there are no NFL scouts present.

It was hyped up as the game of the week. All eyes were going to be on Field 1 at 1:00 to see which team would not only remain undefeated but we also wanted to know if Eyes Downtown would get their revenge after losing in the championship game to Public Enemy last season. Both teams have made some additions to their rosters.  Still no sign of Bobby McConnell so once again Chadwick took the lead. Now I’ve heard ED lost Joey to injury. What was hyped up to be the “Game of the Week” honestly fell short. PE was missing some of their guys, we heard the usual whining and complaining we hear every game, and with a final score of 28-14 PE, it was neither the offensive nor defensive battle we were expecting. At the half it was 21-0 and many of the fans started making their way to other fields. It was just kind of blah.

Pucket All Stars played a double header in what were two completely different outcomes. In their first game against GLBS, they dominated the field scoring 38 points to GLBS 13. Early on it looked like it was going to continue to be the Jay Elphick show, but PAS took over and took charge. They have a solid offense and when they are healthy and have their full squad, will be a team to reckon with. Things did not go so well defensively in their match against End Game. They continued to produce on offense but had no answer for the deep ball from Dave. End Game added several girls, resulting in some of them choosing to play for their gender team instead. The little blonde girl; however, has shown some serious hands. She is one I will certainly be keeping an eye on. EG has a girl edge in that all their girls are talented but is having 5 girls on the roster a blessing or a curse?

BiPolar Express is a team that is finally coming together although their record may not show it. They have the talent across their ranks and it looked to be a sizable roster this week. They caught TMA on a day Ferger brought moonshine and we all know the odds significantly decrease for any team opposing them while imbibing the “secret stuff”. The defense kept the games close with Sarah leading the way, the girl is not afraid to sacrifice the body to make a tag. JJ returned this week as well which I’m sure BPE fans were excited about. In their game versus the Jabronies, BPE kept it interesting but could not generate enough offense to pull out a win. Jabronies suffered the loss of Riley at halftime but were able to capitalize on scoring chances where BPE was not.

Top 3 of Week 3

1. 40 YPG

                -If you read the article you already know why he’s here. This is what the TSL is all about, people. Make a fun bet, lose with dignity and take your punishment with a smile (one that was not painted on).

2. Maggie Lamantia

                -I’ve always known this girl was quick but watching her REPEATEDLY juke those poor defensive players made me literally LOL

3. Buffalo Solar Solutions

                -Sitting at the top of the R2 leader board, they are not only the last remaining undefeated team in the division, but their +/- differential is 50. Let’s see if their domination of this division will hold up facing URTT this week.


~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

THE SENTINEL: WEEK 3

Category: The Sentinel
Created: Tuesday, 07 May 2019 12:35
Published: Tuesday, 07 May 2019 12:35
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2559

 

Another football Saturday in the books. Week 2 did not disappoint in that our honeymoon period of no drama and controversy has ended. In walking around the fields this past week I heard a fair number of grumblings about bad calls and some on-field bickering amongst players. Now it’s sounding like football Saturday. Let’s take a look at some games.

Since I wasn’t about to be at the Rose Garden at 9 (maybe later in the season) I asked around to find out how the Breakfast Club games were going. Word was the captains have been betting on the games amongst themselves, not for money or glory (although glory is usually included) but for alcohol and bras. Enter the Brall of Shame. Emily Curry took it upon herself to encourage friendly wagers by giving stage to these prizes as they are won. Week 1, EmC Hammer Time and Peanut Butter Kelly Time placed the first bra bet which Emily won and of course Kelly made good by giving Emily her bra. Photographic evidence of this event is documented on the Brall of Shame. This week, all the other captains joined in the fun. Hot TaMolly’s and Peanut Butter Kelly Time had another bra bet which the TaMolly’s won (Kelly’s going to have a make a trip to Dick’s pretty soon if this keeps up). Natural Born Kellers and Bern Them All had a bucket of beer as well as a bra and underwear on the line. Apparently BTA captain Val tagged QB Travis in to cover BTA’s side of the bet. Katie Keller made good at the bar later in the day by adding her bra to the Brall. In the Emily v Emily matchup the stakes were a little different as it was a poem on the line. Schilling Em Softly came away with the win so Emily Curry graciously marched right to the bar to construct a very profound poem which can be seen on the Brall as well. I, for one, hopes this continues throughout the season.

During the Bullet Club/Energy Buff game, BC appeared to have no rust to speak of after their bye last week. Along with looking snazzy in their new jerseys (ironically highly patriotic despite their namesake coming from a Japanese wrestling team), they dominated the first half. Jeff Easton was MIA so Travis took the helm at QB. Energy Buff’s defense struggled as Bullet Club continued to march down the field. Gordon even kept his composure the whole first half and was rewarded with some touchdowns and deep balls. Ben Stack we can’t say the same for as he had several outbursts regarding his team’s lack of defense. They did get it together to make it a game in the second half.

Morning Wood came up against 3rd and Schlong and did NOT come out on top. They were shut out 0-26 and looked to be completely out matched. Poor Dave, not how you want to spend your birthday. MW lost Rachel Parker and had Jill Dibble playing for them. They had athletes but could not match up against the guys of 3&S. The real tall guy was Mossing guys all over the place and a defensive nightmare, Scott Sr was slinging and Scott Jr. showed off his QB ability by dropping a dime for a TD after a pitch back from dad. It was majestic. Dave and Mo need to start getting down to business before this season gets away from them.

Most notably in the End Game/Cobblestone matchup, league icon Daryll was not present to lead his team. Instead Ferger stepped up to take the reins and well things didn’t go too well. End Game put up 49 points with everyone’s favorite up-and-coming “it” girl Steph balling out. Some advice, keep an eye on this girl, she’s making shit happen. The other girl on EG (not Emily Schilling, she wasn’t there), came to play as well and even stepped in at QB.

At 11:00, 1 Todd Too Many played Public Enemy in the latter’s second game of the day. During an interview with Topper he stated they “almost had them”. Good for you Topper, keep up the good work. Pete returned to the field and demonstrated to us all that he has not lost a step with some unreal catches. Brandy has been playing lights out lately in all her games, seriously a force to be reckoned with. PE picked up Mcgrath in the off season who will continue to add to their dominant offense. I’m sure Cole was anxious about maintaining his current position at #1 for the QB ranking. I hope the pressure doesn’t get to him…

Also at 11:00, Money Ball and A&A took the field for what proved to be the brightest game of the day (because of the jerseys). MB showed improvement from last week but still need to work on their chemistry if they hope to get a win this season. From what I heard from the sidelines it sounds like MB may have too many alpha males. A&A was missing the majority of their squad as I recognized approximately 3 people from the team. Whoever these other players were seemed to respond to Matty Ice’s run and gun offense. Tensions did start to get high by the second half but A&A came away with a 30-22 win.

TMA played the Bambs over on field 5. While I’m sure TMA was glad to have Ferger back they did not have the speed in their receivers to match up. I see this being a huge issue for them throughout the season. TMA was missing Drunk Meg and Val so they ran with Diana and Diane. Also - they've GOT to get Andy off of defense. Nice kid, but he's always on the bad end of a bomb for a touchdown. At least they didn't seem to fight with Billy this week - plus side?

At noon, Gryffindor made their season debut against Title Shot. Joey Batts was at QB with brother Anthony playing receiver. Gryffindor was missing long time vet Sarah Barnes and seem to have brought in a new blonde girl that showed some serious potential. Hopefully Sarah’s absence was only temporary but new girl can play. Glasses guy made himself available in the middle and anyone that has played against Joey knows he loves taking those 10 yard plays all game. Title Shot may be “seasoned” but they sure do know the game. Dubey made it out 2 weeks in a row and Tommy Hughes and Rogo led play calling for the Senior Squad. Devon and newly married Jill were back in the game and showed us that they haven’t lost a step. Unfortunately for Gryff, Joey Batts had to leave at halftime and left the game in the hands of Anthony. Anthony had some serious trouble hitting his wide open targets and did not know how to contend with Devon on defense. Despite being up at the half, TS took the W by game’s end. I don’t expect to see Anthony on the QB Power Rankings this week.

Ultimate Warriors played Slytherin That End Zone, who came into this game immediately following a loss to All We Do Is Quinn. Ultimate Warriors are a smart team and they know how to take what they are given. They have height, speed and solid girls and will use all of those things to their advantage. SITE was out for vengeance. Gary took control of his team and made some highlight reel catches on the sidelines. The guy with the neon long sleeve shirt and the bald guy also had a big games. Newman quieted the murmurs that last week was a fluke by putting up 39 points. SITE is a team to contend with this season.

Full Throttle played Puckett All-Stars in a game that ended up being won by a difference of 8 points but felt close the entire time. Even though the Godfather claimed PAS was the “better team”, FT came out to prove him wrong and succeeded. I will say both teams had some serious athletes. Deep balls were plentiful in this game and both teams were fairly evenly matched in terms of height and speed. Lou and Co were able to play smart and that is what won them this game.

GLBS played Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers and we are still scratching our heads trying to figure out what happened. I don’t think anyone would have predicted the second team of the day to put up 0 points would be URTT, even without their usual QB. Maybe the pressure of being the division favorites are getting to them, maybe they used all their energy against Hung Buffalo and had nothing left in the tank, maybe this begins their fall from grace? In any case, kudos to GLBS. I think they may be an underestimated team. Glenn and the tall blonde guy do work and everyone knows Rachel Parker is for real. I will definitely have my eye on this team to see where they are at season’s end.

The last game I was able to watch was BiPolar Express vs. Practice Squad. Gordon stayed with yellow shirt throughout the game but it was touch and go at times, just ask Billy. Our girl Steph played out of her mind both offensive and defensively. The girl with the mustard colored t-shirt also showed skills. Practice squad is a formidable team with solid guys and speedy girls, particularly the rusher. Their play calling and ability to see what they were being given won them this game.

Week 2 Top 3 of the Week:

1. Blasé (only played in BC at 9am then stayed to drink for the rest of the day)

2. Peachy Platoon (showed everyone they do belong in R1 by beating Sticky Bandits)

3. Dean (yes also from PP but this guy made an ESPN worthy catch for a pick so I give credit wheres credit is due)

~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

Ode to Spring 2019

Category: The Sentinel
Created: Tuesday, 23 April 2019 13:15
Published: Tuesday, 23 April 2019 13:15
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2680

 

  Ode to Spring 2019

The wait is over, the season is here. 

Bring on the cleats, the gloves and the beer. 

The winter was long, cold and sad it’s true, 

but spring is a time for all things new. 

Endless opportunities await for us all,

Who’ll be the hero and answer the call?

Competitive 1 looks as you’d expect,

Talent abounds none can object.

Competitive 2 has some new and some old,

And already drama (from what I’ve been told). 

Rec 1 will be tight as those names we all know,
Hold tight boys and girls, for one hell of a show. 

Rec 2 has potential for the next big thing,

Time will tell who’s praises we sing. 

Rec 3 has some rivals strewn in the mix,

As well as some newbies to show us their tricks.

Still learning the ropes or there to have fun,

Rec 4 may surprise us when all’s said and done. 

At 9am the Club will begin,

New captains, new players, with the usuals mixed in. 

Let’s start with the morning, champagne bottles pop. 

It’s an odd year, so look out for Top. 

C1s reigning champs, PE returns.

From 1 Todd 2 Many, we all may learn. 

They won and moved up as should be the way, Bravo to them is what I must say. 

Plenty of legends and stars in C2,

We eagerly await to see what they’ll do.

Sticky and Co are strong in Rec 1,

Quinn and Schlong now join in the fun. 

Peachy has made a major leap, 

Into the medley Frodo Swaggins will sweep. 

Uncle Rico’s has had success in some tournies,

But Puckett’s and Hung Buffalo come to put them on gurnies. 

R3 has skill, way more than a speck,

Hope N ruin, Come from Behind, the genders and Home Tech. 

Lastly the Bambs are back in R4,

With Jabroni’s and TMA coming through the door. 

Each division will shape up its own way. 

We’ll see much of our favorites like Kyle and Coach Jay. 

Angry Buffalo awaits for us to start, 

Remember the games are only one part. 

Be sure to make your way up to the bar, 

Drink with your team, become a new star. 

And try to remember there’s no need to yell, 

It’s the greatest league going, the TSL!

 

~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

The Sentinel: Week 2

Category: The Sentinel
Created: Tuesday, 30 April 2019 12:51
Published: Tuesday, 30 April 2019 12:51
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2428

 

 

Well the weather in no way cooperated for week 1 but we persisted and made it through the day. There was a lot of visible shivering occurring at the bar but eventually adrenaline from the start of the season and copious amounts of alcohol alleviated the cold and the day progressed, dare I say, without a hitch. Maybe not entirely unusual for week 1 but at least from my perspective things went smoothly throughout the day. There were no game-altering bad calls, no bickering amongst players and no broken property at the Rose Garden. Overall I absolutely call it a win. The downside is it makes for bad reporting. I admit, a part of me was hoping for a season opening bitch-fest among some of the leagues more colorful players. That would have made my life so much easier when thinking about what I should write this week. But, in lieu of any significant drama, I will discuss some key things I saw this past Saturday during the games I was able to see. 

First off, I made a point to visit the Eyes Downtown/Marketing Mayors game as this is always a “rivalry” match up that could go either way. Upon arriving at the field however, I did notice some key absences. Most notably, Bobby was not present to throw for and otherwise lead his team. Through some sideline inquiry I learned he is on IR for a couple weeks. Who will fill his shoes? Well this week that honor went to Chadwick who, despite it snowing in the morning and everyone else wearing as many layers as possible, showed up in his signature cut off t-shirt. Apparently the cold doesn’t bother him as ED pulled off a 21-7 win over MM. To put it mildly, MM had probably one of their worst games to date. Let’s hope it was just some off season rust they were dealing with. Also among the notable absences for ED were Joey Ruderman and Taylor Pagano, the newest female addition to ED. Is there team turmoil already?? Now the weather is no excuse since both teams were playing in it but it most certainly effected this, and many other, games I watched this week. There were drops and missed passes completely out of character for several people on both teams that one can only attribute to numb fingers and frozen extremities. 

Speaking of the weather having an adverse effect, I have to talk about 1 Todd Too Many/Tight Ends in Motion. No one really knew what to expect from Toppers team. Yes, he moved up to D1 since no other team was willing to do so. However, he also added some talent to an already athletic roster so I don’t think anyone completely doubted their ability to compete. I don’t believe a 7-6 win over a team with fast guys and diesel girls was what anyone was expecting. So what happened? From what I saw of the game and heard at the bar, it appears that Alex had a rough go of it in even rougher conditions. Four sacks and strong winds are detrimental to success any day. I must say I am happy for Topper as he was able to smirk his way around the bar all afternoon and I have no doubt TEIM will regroup and make whatever adjustments Dave Baker tells them to make to be fine moving forward on the season. 

We all know Garrett left Daryl in the trenches a couple seasons ago, now it appears he is trying out the captaincy by putting in his own team: enter Frodo Baggins. This team has got in some off season practice in other leagues, hopefully that will help them in their run in the big show. They went against All We Do Is Qwinn making their R1 (D3) debut and came out with a 26-26 tie. Apparently the “D3 College star” quarterback our Godfather informed us about either couldn’t keep up with the pace of the TSL or the weather got to him as well. He threw numerous picks throughout the game and missed a wide open Garrett doing jumping jacks in the end zone for the would-have-been win. Don’t worry QB, the season is young, plenty of time to redeem yourself. All We Do Is Qwinn played well; however, that one guy needs to remember that the rulebook states if you step out of bounds you cannot be the first person to touch the ball. Trust me, the refs aren’t there to “disrespect” any teams, the outcomes of the games don’t matter to them that much. 

Cunning Stunts and Matty’s Angels both pulled off victories this weekend, CS winning both games in their double header. Up first they played the Uganian Warriors who, it turns out, is the remnants of ACE minus Ronnie K to throw. It was close as the score suggests. UW have added Matt back to their roster along with girlfriend Jess. We will all be waiting to see if they continue the hot-headed reputation associated with some of their team. CS had a less nail-biting victory against Come From Behind. Blame the weather, early season rust or whatever, CFB just couldn’t seem to get anything going their way. Joey Batts ran his mechanical offense as is his usual MO and chopped up the field. CFB did not have an answer to stop them once they got a drive going. The Angels played Overcompensators (formerly Witters). Fortunately for me, these games were going on side by side so I was able to semi-watch both of them. From the start, I was worried for MA as their fearless leader appeared a little more than not that drunk. Despite that the game was close with MA pulling out the win at the end. Sources report that due to the aforementioned inebriation, Matty Ice almost blew the game, claiming he was unaware MA were only up by 2 points (not an exact quote as I left before the end of this game). 

The last game I was able to watch was A&A versus Energy Buff. It was straight curiosity that made me stay outside any longer as I wanted to know who would turn out to be on this new team, Energy Buff. I had heard that Ben Stack had put in the team but it was NOT the former Hootie and the Brofish, therefore they should NOT be in C1. Who I did see intrigued me. Most notable was Shane Moonan, a long time veteran of the league who has apparently returned from hiatus. I also recognized a few guys from Game On who appeared to have made the jump to the TSL. To them I say Welcome, we are glad to have you! Energy Buff has solid girls in Kate and Nicole, they will absolutely make a difference in games to come. As far as how this game went, I know Matty Ice came barreling over from his MA game and immediately took a sack on 6th down, somehow they ended up winning, and A&A gained Franco to add even more speed to their roster. Other than that, I have to admit I was cold and thirsty so I went to the bar. Both teams are going to be contenders throughout the season. 

I will sign off with my Top 3 Teams of the Week. This list is complied based on what impressed me during games or what I heard about. 

1. Hope N Ruin (shutout!)
2. 1 Topper Too Many (first D1 win!)
3. Slytherin that Endzone (dominated Peachy Platoon)

 

 ~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

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