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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 29 September 2022
- Created: 29 September 2022
- Hits: 1830
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
We don't have a graph for you today, but we do have your Top 25 QBs in the TSL and FINALLY our definitive rankings of the Top 25 Male Players (Non-QB) as well. Get ready to hate it!
#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion
Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 44-14
Tight Ends in Motion are winning by an average of 23.6 PPG, far and away the best in the League. And these are great teams they're beating! Bro remains the unquestioned #1 in the Power Rankings this week with #2 Joey Batts and Legends on deck for Saturday.
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat TOX 69-16 (Stunts)
With Legends having the week off, Joey must have decided to score two teams worth of points in one Cunning Stunts game, dropping 69 on poor TOX. The Stunts are one of only two undefeated teams left in the League (excluding Breakfast Club) and Joey can narrow that list down to one by beating Tight Ends this weekend.
#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Beat Passed Our Prime 52-17
It's a shame that Eyes Downtown lost to both Legends and Tight Ends in Motion this year, because they've absolutely murdered everybody else. Bobby is winning by an average of nearly 23 PPG excluding his two biggest rivals. Eyes Downtown are one of only six teams in the league averaging over 40 PPG on offense.
#4 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Beat The Replacements 49-14
There's not much to learn about a QB from destroying the worst team in the division below him, but Mike Thomas goes up in the Power Rankings anyway with a Frodo Swaggins loss. The Sticky Bandits ended their three-game losing streak (all to the QBs above Mike in the Rankings) to get a much-needed win going into the ladder match weeks.
#5 Kyle Conniff - No Punt Intended
Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 38-12
No Punt Intended have played six games in the last three weeks (including a forfeit win over Untouchaballs) and now own the best record, best point differential, best offense and best defense in D2. No one was picking these guys as division favorites before the season (to be fair, no one even knew who they were). But Kyle is now leading the #1 team in his division and jumps to #5 in our Power Rankings.
#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins
Last Week: Beat Buffalo Vice Retro 29-0, lost to No Punt Intended 38-12
Seems unfair to drop two spots in the Power Rankings the same week you win a game 29-0, but that's where Garrett finds himself this week. Frodo may still be the best team in their division at full strength, but that loss to No Punt Intended showed that it's no longer a one-team race for the D2 championship. Tune in at 10 am this week for the rematch!
#7 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime
Last Week: Did Not Play
Happy birthday Hogan... Hopefully your family threw you a better party than Eyes Downtown! Yeah, we know, Hogan wasn't there last week so his team lost without him. The reigning D2 champs still have only one win on the season way back in August, but we suspect they'll earn another this week against The Replacements.
#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Did Not Play
Untouchaballs biggest rivals this season are apparently their own players' social lives, as they forfeited their second game of the season due to off-field conflicts. Their only win since August has been against The Replacements (the third time their name has come up in this article so far). Burr still has the talent and the players to make noise in the playoffs, but you'd like to see them get a signature win at some point.
#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 44-14
We keep writing every week about how Scared Hitless is RIGHT in it every week and how they hadn't lost by more than a score all season. Well, they lost by 30 on Saturday, but that'll happen against the best team in the League. The ladder match weeks should be kinder to Dylan, who could easily still finish 4-5 before playoffs.
#10 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for Grey Hair last week, but they must be excited about playing Scared Hitless this week, as it's the only D1 team they've beaten so far this season.
#11 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week: Beat Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 50-35
We've been mistakenly giving credit to four-time TSL champion (and one-time D4 MVP) T.J. Ferguson in this spot the last few weeks. Turns out it's actually Vince Taverna of All We Do is Quinn fame that's throwing for Puckett this season. Fifty points against ILF Vince, not too bad.
#12 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers / 716
Last Week: Beat Scott Seniors Starting 55-46, beat Mountain Dew Me 29-28 (716)
Can we just say Dylan is the starter for 716 now??? It feels like he goes in every time there's trouble. 84 points, two wins, that's a good weekend. 716 is now the highest scoring team in D3 at 34.5 PPG.
#13 Nick Hawes - Spinelli's Plumbing
Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 62-34
Spinelli's has stolen the title of "League's highest scoring non-gender team" from Tight Ends in Motion this week with a 62 point blasting of Cobblestone. 43.7 PPG is huge. And yet somehow these guys are still only third in their division?
#14 Travis Cleavenger - DILFS
Last Week: Did Not Play
Travis is a backup QB that didn't even play this past weekend, and yet we keep him ranked (though down a few spots this week) because of his fill-in work for DILFS.
#15 Scott Drosendahl - Scott Seniors Starting
Last Week: Did Not Play
OH NO IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN! The team name is new, but the collapse is all too familiar for Scott Seniors Starting, who seem to do this every session. How is there even enough time on the clock for two teams to combine for 101 points in a game??
#16 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Beat Itches and Ohs 30-24
Can't Touch This was the darling of D4 last season the way they improved throughout the session, and it seems they're doing it again in D3. Ryan is great, his girls are great, and Anthony Battaglia is no slouch either. We wouldn't call these guys "favorites" exactly but they're certainly "real contenders".
#17 Seth Molisani - Buffalo Vice Retro
Last Week: Did Not Play
Buffalo Vice Retro was shut out for the second time this session, and they have yet to score more than 20 points against a team NOT named "The Replacements" (it's crazy how often that team comes up in our disclaimers). Frodo is a really good opponent so the outcome doesn't surprise us, even if the final 29-0 score does.
#18 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Lost to Get Schwifty 35-32
We're ready to throw in the towel on our preseason predictions for Practice Squad. For whatever reason they're just not able to pull off a win in any of these close games this year as they drop to dead last in their division. Now the good news for the Squad is that it's a VERY even division so if you're going to bet on any #8 seeds to upset a #1 seed this year, this would be the one to pick.
#19 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club
Last Week: Lost to Mountain Dew Me 29-28
Bullet Club finally loses a game thanks to Mountain Dew Me and a "questionable" clock situation. You didn't think they'd go undefeated, did you? This is really Buffalo vs Miami if you think about it: A lot had to go wrong for these guys to lose, and it doesn't change the fact that they're still going to have a great season. Jeff and company just need to chalk it up to an unlucky situation and move on.
#20 Zack Elphick - Zack Attack
Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 31-0
How does a team averaging nearly 40 PPG get shut out by a team that entered the game with a losing record? We were NOT close to predicting this one, we'll be the first to admit. Zack Attack, you're a great team and you'll bounce back. Burn the game film from this one.
#21 Ryan Henry - TMA
Last Week: Lost to Woodpeckers 35-24
Last week in our division analysis we compared TMA to last session's Travis Henry's Kids: massive favorites that really ought to win their division barring a fluke. And now they have one other thing in common... they've both lost to Woodpeckers! We're not sure if TMA was missing players, over-confident or simply outplayed, but the message here is that no team is safe on any given Saturday.
#22 Paul Lovullo - Come From Behind
Last Week: Did Not Play
No Paul at the fields last week, but his team won 34-0 without him. Not a good sign for his D5 MVP campaign!
#23 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week: Beat TOX 41-19, beat Vaspian 36-8
Well look who made it into our TSL QB Power Rankings. Mr. "I can win for other teams but not my own" has finally won a pair of games for Travis Henry's Kids. And neither of them was particularly close either! Congrats to John Langley. No, he doesn't get a graph this week, but he DOES get to admit the League was right to move him up to D4 where he now has a positive point differential...
#24 Cody McGregor - Mountain Dew Me
Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 29-28, lost to 716 29-28
When was the last time a team won and lost a game on the same day by the exact same score? Congrats on your consistency Mountain Dew Me! No one in D3 really stands out as a huge favorite, so why not the Dew Me Crew this year? They're as fast and athletic as anyone in this League.
#25 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs
Last Week: Lost to Can't Touch This 30-24
Itches continues to compete and play better than their record suggests. One more point against Practice Squad, five more points against Bullet Club, seven more points against Can't Touch This, and they'd be 5-2 instead of 2-4-1. We don't think they'll win D3, but we're guessing their elimination game will come down to the final drive.
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The Greatest Male Players (Non-QB) in the TSL
If our Greatest Female Players rankings from a couple weeks ago were any indication, it seems like no one is ever happy with their ranking. We expect more of the same from this week's Greatest Male Players rankings. We'll try to recognize you by ranking you above 90% of your peers (that is the point of this segment after all), you'll complain we didn't recognize you ENOUGH by ranking you ahead of everyone else, and then you'll bitch about how we don't know what we're talking about, how this is all just a popularity contest and biased against you because blah blah blah. Oh, and you probably didn't even respond to our numerous requests to send in your votes and let your voice be heard, did you? You had your chance. We're sorry your peers don't think you're as good as you do. Just keep in mind when you're whining to your friends and teammates about your rank, they're probably thinking "at least he GOT ranked, why does no one ever notice me?".
With that said, here's a reminder of what we're looking for on our "Greatest Male Players (Non-QB)" list:
- Speed, hands, pass rushing, any kind of playmaking ability; we're not prioritizing one specific skill over another, we're trying to rank the best male players that would improve your chance of winning if they were on your team.
- Attitude and personality doesn't factor in UNLESS that player's intangibles are extremely great (motivational, positive teammates lift everyone up) or extremely bad (toxic complainers will bring a team down even if they have elite skills)
- They must be actively playing this session. No, being on a roster and never showing up (or missing half the season so far) doesn't count. If you're not playing regularly, you're not eligible.
- If you happen to add versatility as your team's backup QB, that's truly helpful for your team and they're lucky to have that from you. But it doesn't factor into our rankings.
So that's our criteria. In past sessions (and even the Female Rankings a couple weeks ago) we've done write ups for each person to say why they deserve to be ranked as high as they are, but this time we're just going to list the names. Why is that you ask? Because... you're all ungrateful, and you're just going to complain about how you should have been ranked higher anyway! Ungrateful players don't deserve write-ups saying how great they are. Do we sound a little bitter? DO WE???
That being said, here are the Top 25 Male (Non-QB) Players in the League according to our panel of experts (and including the feedback of people who DID write in):
#25: Ron Webber - TMA
#24: Anthony Deak - Bullet Club, Travis Henry's Kids
#23: George Lombardo - Grey Hair - Don't Care, Freeballers
#22: Kevin Zack - Sticky Bandits
#21: Dave Baker - Tight Ends in Motion, Freeballers
#20: James Celotto - Passed Our Prime, 716
#19: Matt Helm - Untouchaballs
#18: Pete Walbrandt - Bullet Club, Travis Henry's Kids
#17: Ben Stack - Eyes Downtown
#16: Pete Nguyen - Legends
#15: Jonny Yioulos - Scared Hitless
#14: Blake Fisher - Frodo Swaggins
#13: Travis Cleavenger - Legends, DILFS
#12: Drew Colosimo - Sticky Bandits
#11: Chris Nelson - Legends
#10: Nick Voss - Grey Hair - Don't Care, 716
#9: Eric Delecki - Eyes Downtown
#8: Ralph Finney - Passed Our Prime
#7: Andy Smigiera - Eyes Downtown
#6: Kyle Conniff - Tight Ends in Motion, No Punt Intended
#5: Adrian Cannon - Sticky Bandits, TOX
#4: Dave Gdaniec - Tight Ends in Motion
#3: Mike Boccio - Legends
#2: Derek Bongiovanni - Tight Ends in Motion
#1: Sean Weisensal - Legends, Frodo Swaggins
The biggest complaint we got last season was that we ranked "too many" Tight Ends in Motion guys. Guess what? They're 7-0 this season with their longtime QB back under center. Maybe we DID know what we were talking about...
So here's our challenge to you now: if you're going to complain about these Rankings, don't just say they were "bullshit" or "biased" or "all the same old people". And don't just say "person X should have been WAY higher". Put your money where your mouth is (so to speak) and send us your OWN list. We'll be happy to publish it next week, with your name attached as the creator, and we'll see if people think you did any better.
***
That's it for this week! As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher? no graph this week? you don't think Travis Henry's Kids deserves two of the top 25 male athletes in the League?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!
What’s YOUR ranking?
