WEEK 7 POWER RANKINGS

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Details: Written by Jeff Krol; Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Published: 08 June 2023; Created: 08 June 2023; Hits: 444

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

Week to week, you don't see a ton of movement in our Power Rankings and that's very much by design. A quarterback doesn't suddenly become Joe Burrow because he had one good game, and he doesn't suddenly become trash just because he threw a couple picks. No one started this season hotter than Vince Taverna, and no one started it colder than Joey Batts. Now Vince is a great QB and we might not have him ranked highly enough, but was he ever better than Joey Batts? No, and that's why Joey was always ranked higher even after a winless first couple weeks. We try not to overreact to small sample sizes and we always ask ourselves the question (regardless of what happened in the last week or two) who would you most want to throw for your team in your NEXT game with the championship on the line? And usually... USUALLY... those people don't change much week over week. But sometimes they do. There are a few guys in particular that make significant leaps this week. You might not agree with our rankings or our logic, but we feel that they've shown enough at this point to deserve a boost.

Oh, and we've expanded our QB coverage to a Top 25 this week to highlight five more QBs that are doing great work this season.

Enjoy!

#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Eyes Downtown 30-28

They've won 12 in a row, they're the last undefeated team in the TSL, and they've now beaten every team in D1 this session with only a Frodo rematch to go. That's a pretty good resume for Thomas. We also like the stat that Sticky Nation's worst offensive game was 29 points this season, and their worst defensive game was 28 (this week against Eyes Downtown) which means their worst offense and their worst defense on the same day would STILL be a win.

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Passing While Intoxicated 44-20, beat BAADies 34-16 (Stunts)

Undefeated in May, undefeated in June, let's look at some numbers: Throw out his first week on April 29th, and Joey's teams since then are 9-1 (10-1 if you count a forfeit win over Creekers, who Joey would have scored a minimum 45 points against) and they have scored 36.6 PPG (Legends) and 36.4 PPG (Cunning Stunts). That would be the third AND fourth best offenses in the TSL. Insane.

#3 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies

Last Week: Beat Losing Streak 60-45 (Frodo), lost to Cunning Stunts 34-16 (BAADies)

Garrett Beesing is the #3 QB in the TSL right now. Seriously. We're not sure how it happened either. Garrett has the same record, a head-to-head win, and more points per game than Bobby McConnell, so as crazy as it seems to leapfrog a TSL icon like Bobby, it's actually an easy call right now. The trickier comparison is Jordan Lawson, who despite also losing to Frodo head-to-head, has a slightly better overall record AND more points per game. The critical factor for us came down to supporting cast, as Losing Streak has an absurdly talented roster from top to bottom that SHOULD put up points and win every week. Frodo Swaggins isn't a "super team" - we doubt you know more than a few names on that roster outside of their QB. It's no disrespect to their team to say this (or maybe it is) but they seem to be winning on chemistry and effort and play-calling rather than superior athleticism. And Garrett deserves a ton of credit for that.

#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks

Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 60-45 (Losing Streak), lost to Untouchaballs 24-16 (Mavericks)

If Losing Streak had won on Saturday, wouldn't Jordan still be ahead of Garrett in these rankings? And he scored 45 points in that game, which is among the highest scores in D1 this session... doesn't it feel like we're punishing him for a) his defense taking the day off, and b) recruiting a super talented team that we just expect to win every week? Those are fair criticisms of our process if you feel that way. Look, Power Ranking is tough, and it's hard to say which QB would perform better over a sustained period of time with equal talent. Losing Streak and Mavericks are on a combined 2-6 run right now, but we still expect both to be dangerous for playoffs .

#5 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 30-28

Eyes Downtown's biggest hurdle this season continues to be their poor attendance, and they almost overcame that on Saturday to win shorthanded against the undefeated Sticky Bandits. Instead they gave up a big lead and walked away 3-4, guaranteeing a non-winning record for the first time since Fall 2020 (the "COVID season"). Bobby is still an elite QB and as dangerous as anyone in this League, but his Power Ranking of #5 is literally the lowest we have EVER had him -- Bobby had been in the Top Four for 58 consecutive Power Rankings dating back to Spring of 2019.

#6 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Beat Mavericks 24-16

Untouchaballs locked up the #1 seed in D2 this week with a close win against Mavericks, and are on track for a playoff semifinals vs the winner of Freeballers and Practice Squad. Burr has done a great job of leading the offense this season, but take a look at a graph of D2 offenses vs D2 defenses. Anything stand out? If you ignore 0-7 Practice Squad, those other four teams are virtually identical on offense (the blue bars), and three of the four are identical on defense too (the orange bars). What separates Untouchaballs is their defense, which is a full 10 PPG better than the next best team in D2.

#7 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 36-21

No Punt Intended finished their regular season a week early with one more win over Practice Squad to run their record to 6-2. They'll be the #2 seed in the playoffs, they won't play on June 17th, and they'll have a great chance of upsetting Untouchaballs in the Finals... if Travis stops throwing the ball to Helm.

#8 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Grey Hair Don't Care last week.

#9 Andy Smigiera - Tight Ends in Motion

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 26-14

Here's a small chart with Tight Ends in Motion's record over the past four seasons:

They've beaten the other three teams at the lower end of D1 this session, and lost to the four teams at the top of the division. The yo-yo'ing back and forth between different QBs is killing them as they're not getting a chance for continuity. If Andy returns as TEIM's QB next season, they might double their win total and be favorites again.

#10 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 54-8

Okay we desperately needed to re-evaluate Joe Miano in our Power Rankings, especially after their annihilation of Bullet Club this week (who we also needed to re-evaluate...). Jabronies made a terrible first impression this season but have been unbeatable since then while accruing the second biggest win streak in the TSL. They've locked up the #1 seed, they have the second best offense in D3 behind only Can't Touch This, the #1 defense, and by far the best point differential per game. Okay Joe. We see you.

#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Lost to Can't Touch This 41-38

Wanderers lost a classic to Can't Touch This on Saturday that came down to the very end (and apparently a shoe malfunction). They've won by 1, 2, 3 and 6 points this season, and lost by 3, 4 and 11. You can always count on Frank Laudico for entertainment.

#12 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 26-14

Scared Hitless were -101 point differential after three weeks. Since then they've been only -25 over their past four games. Look, it isn't great, but at least it's competitive football, which is better than their season started. Will Scared Hitless earn another playoff upset this season? We doubt it, but we didn't believe in them last season either and they proved us wrong.

#13 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Wanderers 41-38

Can't Touch This probably isn't the most complete team in their division with a defense allowing more than 30 points per game. But it might not matter if they can keep scoring. We've talked about Ryan's cannon for the last year or two now, but his decision making has improved so much too. If you're going to beat these guys in the playoffs, you might need to score 50.

#14 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Did Not Play

No Buchlis at the fields this week.

#15 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 24-14

The "destroying everyone by 30" phase of the season looks to be over for Puckett All-Stars, but they're still in first place. Their only loss of the season came against Buffalo Vice who, wouldn't ya know, they play again in the final week of the season! This is the rematch everyone wanted to see and will be the game of the week with 1st place in D4 (and a playoff date with Creekers) on the line.

#16 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 30-21

Freeballers have their QB1 back! Okay honestly we have no idea where to rank Dylan right now. He's better than 16th, but it feels like he hasn't played in a month so... how does 16th sound? Good? Okay. Freeballers came into the season with a lot of optimism and everything kind of went wrong right off the bat, but if there's an inspirational leader to bring them back for a playoff run, it's Jaloza.

#17 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club

Last Week: Lost to Jabronies 54-8

Remember when Bullet Club was 3-0 and people were complaining they should be in D2? Things have gone poorly since then. The disappearance of Jeff Easton and a four game losing streak has this team struggling for identity with playoffs looming. But first: a rematch against Wanderers after their controversial Week One finish.

#18 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to Freeballers 30-21, lost to No Punt Intended 36-21

Copy and paste whatever we wrote last week about Practice Squad, we're sure it's still true. Still competitive, still unable to get over that hump and beat a D2 team. Mavericks are their last chance to get a regular season win this season, and although we KNOW they can operate well as a last place playoff team, surely having a single win under their belts would bolster their confidence, right?

#19 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Beat Travis Henry's Kids 28-26

Buffalo Vice continue to roll through D4 this session and a win next week will lock up the #1 seed. Didn't we say in our pre-season prediction that these guys would win the championship? That feels like a lifetime ago, but we might actually get one of those predictions right...

#20 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated

Last Week: Beat Creekers 41-27, lost to Cunning Stunts 44-20

Passing While Intoxicated are just a HAIR below the rest of the D4 elites right now. Are Stunts, Puckett and Vice really THAT much better than PWI? Probably a bit. But TMA and Come From Behind were "better" than PWI last season in D5 and that didn't slow Playoff Buddy down even a little bit.

#21 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs / GrASS Eaters

Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 32-29, lost to Vaspian 32-22 (Itches), beat Balls Deep 39-22 (GrASS)

Moser returned this week and went 2-1 including a dramatic last drive win over Let's Get Reccked. Take away their sub QB week and forfeit loss, and Itches are still one of a handful of D3 teams with a winning record. No one's talking about these guys as playoff favorites, but in a wide open D3, why not?

#22 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids

Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 28-26

Travis Henry's Kids have now lost three in a row and four out of five, with their only win since April coming against the Creekers. We thought these guys would be potential contenders in this division. What happened to Langley? Is Pete still on this team? Just throw the ball up in the air and let him get it, it's not rocket science.

#23 Paul LoVullo - Come From Behind

Last Week: Beat Long Balls 34-14

You know those carnival games where you smash a mallet onto a machine and try to ring a bell at the top? (It's called "High Striker" if you want to Google it.) We bet Paul would CRUSH one of those things. Every time we watch a Come From Behind game he's blasting rockets around the field, probably just shattering his receivers' hands. Come From Behind vs GUCCI is going to be an awesome D5 championship game.

#24 Kelly Kane - GUCCI

Last Week: Beat Tater Tots 26-24

The TSL's greatest (ever?) female QB makes another appearance in our Power Rankings this week as Kelly won yet again to improve GUCCI's record to a D5 leading 5-1. They'll finish the regular season with a doubleheader against NSS (who they beat 34-0 a couple weeks ago) and ILF (who they haven't played yet). GUCCI already owns a tiebreaker over Come From Behind based on a 35-34 win earlier this season, so winning either of their games this weekend should be enough to lock them in as the #1 seed for playoffs.

#25 Brian Orzechowski - Vaspian

Last Week: Beat Itches and Ohs 32-22, lost to Degeneration SeXy 42-34

If you're looking for a trendy playoff upset pick, look no further than Vaspian. Their regular season is over at 2-5-1, but their last SEVEN GAMES were decided by a single score. This could be a 5-2 team with just a few lucky bounces here and there. No one in D3 looks unbeatable right now and last season the division was won by the last place team. Why can't lightning strike twice in this division?

Fancy Statistics Section

Here's a simple graph of every offense in the League, compared to the Buffalo Bills SuperBowl era teams. Yes, we've done this before, and yes, we still like it:

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That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.

What's YOUR ranking?