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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 18 September 2024
- Created: 18 September 2024
- Hits: 66
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
We've got quarterbacks! (twenty of them!) We've got charts! (okay, one chart.) Stick around and have a read. The Godfather won't be here til Friday, what else do you have to do until then?
#1 Joey Batts - Wet Bandits / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 54-28 (Stunts)
Last session the Malones set the recent scoring record (going back at least five years) at 52.1 PPG. The Cunning Stunts are currently scoring 51.0 PPG, and their "worst" game of the season has been 45 points (when they presumably could have scored more, if they weren't already leading by 25 points). Joey Batts is very good... and we didn't even mention his undefeated D1 team just now.
#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 39-35
The D1 champions are 3-1 after barely surviving another D2 crossover game. The offense is still great (and likely always will be no matter who Thomas is throwing to) but their four games this session have been +8, +7, -8, +4. Sticky Nation is mostly winning when it counts... but you'd like to see a big win at some point if they're going to compete with Wet Bandits.
#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 44-16
After a few weeks of close games and D2 crossover scares, Eyes Downtown finally came out and just dominated a team, reminding us all why they've been to so many Finals games these past few years. This is Bobby's 62nd week in the Top Three of the TSL Power Rankings.
#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins
Last Week: Beat the Malones 59-40
Fifty nine points! Frodo Swaggins came ALIVE on Saturday and beat up a really good Malones team. Frodo has suffered from poor attendance and many subs for the past couple of seasons. Saturday was a reminder of what they can do when they're all there, and their all-star QB is on his game.
#5 Andy Strug - The Malones
Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 59-40
The schedule makers did not do the Malones any favors, booking them three weeks in a row against Sticky Bandits, Eyes Downtown and Frodo Swaggins. Nightmare schedule aside, it's worth noting that Eyes Downtown have been the only team so far this season to hold Andy to fewer than 40 points.
#6 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for the Mavericks this week.
#7 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for Can't Touch This this week.
#8 Jeremy Olson - Freeballers
Last Week: Beat The Untouchaballs 37-23
The Freeballers are winless no longer after beating Untouchaballs in a D2 crossover game. Can they seriously contend for the D1 championship this season? We doubt it... this season. But Hogan's still good enough to play spoiler and ruin someone else's season in the playoffs.
#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Beat The Untouchaballs 32-23, lost to Sticky Bandits 39-35
Scared Hitless are a team on the rise again. They had the D1 champions on the ropes this week, and beat Untouchaballs in the heat an hour later. Dylan's playing great football and Hitless has always had a pretty good defense. They've been to the D2 championship game before, and we wouldn't be shocked to see them there again this season.
#10 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 39-34, beat Topper All Stars & Todd 42-21
We have been doing QB Power Rankings for 74 weeks now dating back to Spring 2019. B, a league icon and universally respected QB, has never once been in our Top Ten... until today. Practice Squad are 5-0 and have taken a huge step forward this session, so he has earned it. Hell, it's probably long overdue. Brandon Ford... you are one of the ten best quarterbacks in Western New York touch football.
#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week: Beat PWI 46-37, lost to Mix'n It Up 27-14
The Wanderers finally lost a game this season. They won one too we should mention, but the loss is more interesting. It's hard to win two games on a hot day like Saturday, but scoring only 14 points isn't like Frank. Maybe he sensed that Shakira Shakira was distracted by the animal shelter dogs.
#12 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Lost to Freeballers 37-23, lost to Scared Hitless 32-23
The once mighty Untouchaballs are now in last place in D2 (okay they're not REALLY in last, but our website standings seem to think that 1-3 is worse than 1-5 for some reason). Are Burr's commitment issues to this team the problem? Is it the lack of female star power that's hurting them?
#13 David Eickhoff - Grey Hair Don't Care
Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 44-16
Grey Hair Don't Care has played six games this season, and only one of them was closer than 19 points. They're either getting blasted or, in one weird exception, doing the blasting. The good news is they have a tenth game on the schedule, so that should give them one extra chance to avoid a last place finish in D2's regular season.
#14 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week: Lost to Practice Squad 39-34, beat Bullet Club 37-32
Let's Get Reccked are 2-2 at the midway point in the season. Are they just a mediocre team? Or does the fact that their only two losses are against the top two teams in their division mean they could be as good as the third best team in D3?
#15 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club
Last Week: Lost to Let's Get Reccked 37-32
What do we make of Bullet Club? They have one great win over Jabronies that we can't explain... one easy win against Toppers All-Stars that we CAN explain (Team Topper is struggling!)... and four losses, some of which have been close, while others have not. Is this a bad team? No. Do we think they'll be hoisting a trophy at the banquet? No.
#16 Damien Keller - Mix'n It Up
Last Week: Beat Wanderers 27-14
Mix'n It Up is one of two undefeated teams left in D3 this session which is a major credit to the Keller Klan. Sure, they've played fewer games than everyone else, and sure, their points per game are strangely low for an undefeated team. But man, that defense is looking great.
#17 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated / Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers
Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 46-37 (Passing While Intoxicated)
A one score loss against the Wanderers is pretty impressive for a team that just moved up from D4. Buddy does a great job of getting his girls involved (Tori is MVP quality) but the funky website tiebreakers have PWI at 8th place right now. They're better than that.
#18 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for PowerPuff Girls this week.
#19 Joe Miano - Jabronies
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for Jabronies this week.
#20 Mark Dalfonso - The Herd
Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 55-28
What happens when you take one of the worst teams in D4 last session (athletic, but inexperience all around) and give them a former D1 champion quarterback? They immediately earn a winning record, apparently. This is a dangerous group with Dalfonso under center, and since Week One they've scored more points every week on offense.
Fancy Statistics Section
Okay. We're here. We kept saying "you're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful". Well, it's Week Four. The sample size is TOO SMALL TO BE MEANINGFUL, but we'll give you some "fancy stats" anyway.
You've seen this chart before, but we always like to make it the first one (and last one) of the season. Here are your best (and worst) offenses, defenses, and point differentials in the TSL through the first half of the season. As always, forfeit games have been excluded from the numbers (hi Cobblestone & Straw Hats!)
What did we learn?
For starters, there are five people who can claim absolute domination of the League right now, and the first four are Joey Batts, Melanie Linsmair, Taylor Pagano and Maddie Norton. These players are on both Cunning Stunts and Wet Bandits, and those two teams have the best two offenses in the League AND the best two point differentials in the League. The Stunts in particular have a 10+ point lead over the next non-Batts team in offensive points per game, and a 7+ point lead over the nexts non-Batts team in total point differential. These teams are killing it.
The person who might have the BEST claim to domination of the League though is actually Katie Keller. Katie is on the Stunts and Mix'n It Up, which means she can claim to be part of the best offense, best point differential AND best defense in the League. It's Katie's world, and we're all just living in it.
We pointed out that the Stunts and Wet Bandits have the best and second best offenses and point differentials in the League, but it's also worth pointing out that Practice Squad is actually THIRD in both categories as well. Has there ever been an identical top three in two categories at once?? We don't think so. These three teams are doing something right. Oh, and Practice Squad is also in the top ten in defense, the ONLY team in the League that's "top ten" in every category right now.
So we know which teams are doing it right... Now let's look at which teams are doing it wrong. Toppers All Stars & Todd are in the bottom ten in every category. Is Todd to blame?? Cobblestone is also bottom ten, and they are the only team in the league that's scoring fewer than 20 points per game while allowing more than 40... and that's not even counting their two forfeit losses! Grey Hair - Don't Care and GUCCI are the other two teams in all three "bottom tens"... so we have four teams in the bottom categories, and only one team in the top (Practice Squad). It's harder to be great than it is to be bad!
Pit Harade has the worst offense in the league at 12.4 PPG. Spinelli's Plumbing has the worst defense in the league at 49.8 PPG allowed (we had to look that up to make sure it was accurate; sadly, it is). Cobblestone has the worst point differential at -26.3 PPG. Ironically, it would only HELP Cobblestone's point differential if we included their forfeit losses, because those would only be -21 games instead of their average -26 when they actually play.
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
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