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Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings! 

No graphs and visual wizardry for you yet of course (they’re coming soon!), but here are your Top FIFTEEN starting QBs in the TSL:

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Lost to GirthQuakes 30-28

Has there EVER been a #1 ranked Quarterback after two weeks who was still winless?  Joey is setting records, and not the kind he’s used to.  But word is he didn’t suit up for Legends this week, and the Stunts just suffered their first regular season loss in like THREE FULL SEASONS, so his spot on the top of this chart is definitely up for grabs.  We didn’t want to punish the guy after one loss in his last 32ish games (someone fact check that, it’s got to be the League record) so he keeps the top spot for at least one more week.

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Did Not Play

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Bobby is one of them.

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Beat What A Dump 27-21

The good news for the Sticky Bandits: they’re still undefeated two games into the season, and on top of the early D1 standings.  The bad news: the teams they’ve beaten are a combined 0-5, so maybe they shouldn’t break out the champagne just yet?  We’ll know more about the quality of the team after next week’s Legends game.  Side note: it’s great to write “Legends” again instead of their other trolling team names.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 41-37, lost to Legends 55-8

Much like the Sticky Bandits above, both of Frodo’s wins this season come against 0-5 Freeballers and What A Dump.  Neither of those teams are duds (What A Dump in particular should get decent odds to win D1 in a couple months, we’re thinking) but Frodo is still looking for a signature win against Legends, who they have (maybe? Possibly?) never beaten before.  Last week wasn’t a huge step forwards in that regard, as they got annihilated 55-8 by the Legends backup QB.  Hey, doubleheaders are tough.

#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless via forfeit

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Ryan is one of them.  Due to an unexpected forfeit by Scared Hitless, CTT has now outscored their opponents 85-0 in the standings… without facing a “real” D2 team yet. 

#6 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week:  Lost to Freeballers 41-37 (Freeballers), beat Jabronies 38-26, beat Show Me Your TDs (Mavericks)

We’re going to have to stop showing Show Me Your TDs scores in this article for a while, and when we start doing our graphs and charts etc we’re going to have to back those out too.  It’s no disrespect to say that they’re in the wrong division this season, and including their stats is VERY misleading for other teams.  So yes, the Mavericks beat them handily, but more impressively, they also beat a good Jabronies team.  And Freeballers ALMOST took a close one against Frodo Swaggins.  Freeballers are 0-3 right now, but they’ve been VERY competitive in all three games.  They’ll break through for a win sooner rather than later.

#7 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Beat GirthQuakes 50-8

GirthQuakes looks like a pretty strong team in D3 this session.  So what does it say about the Wanderers that they destroyed them 50-8 on Saturday?  It’s not too “bold” a prediction to say we expect the Wanderers to win every week, but… we kind of expect them to win every week now.  Frank may have better chemistry with his receivers than any quarterback in the League right now (which isn’t surprising, since they’ve probably played together since the 1990s)

#8 Rhace Colon – The Malones

Last Week:  Beat Jabronies 38-7

New QB this session for the Malones, same results.  These guys have outscored their opponents 87-24 so far this season… and their next three games are Show Me Your TDs, injury ravaged Scared Hitless, and then Show Me Your TDs again.  They could be looking at a truly scary 240-38 point differential in a couple weeks if they keep it up.

#9 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Did Not Play

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Cody is one of them.  They’ll build momentum eventually (this team is too good not to) but an early loss to Frodo and a game without their starting QB in week two doesn’t help.

#10 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week:  Did Not Play

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Alex is one of them.

 #11 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost via forfeit

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Scared Hitless DID have a game, but they didn’t show up for it, so they took the forfeit L this week.

#12 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 42-25 (PWI), lost to Come From Behind 34-33

PWI had the first week of the season off, but the rust from an extra long offseason didn’t show.  There were rumors that Buddy was going to move up to a D2 team this offseason and it didn’t seem to happen, which is a shame.  There isn’t a division “too good” for this guy.  ILF surprisingly lost against the D5 champions (who were without their QB!) but take a look at the scoreboard and you’ll see it wasn’t Buddy’s fault… unless you blame him for not taking charge of that defense.

#13 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week:  Beat D-Generation X Y and Z 40-28

716 is an interesting team on paper, with outstanding male athletes and some newer female talent.  Their success (or failure) this season will likely come down to how well Derek Pew plays at the QB position, and so far the results have been strong.  716 has a 1-1 record, and they were one score away from going 2-0 with a win in their first game of the season.  Are they strong enough to beat the Wanderers in the playoffs?  Maybe, maybe not, but at least they have the talent to have a chance.

#14 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week:  Lost to Buffalo Vice 38-37 (Practice Squad), beat Vaspian 20-6 (Tater Tots)

Practice Squad is in last place in D3 after two weeks, but don’t blame the offense, as they’re fourth (out of 10) in their division in scoring.  B knows how to get points, and eventually that will translate into wins.  The Tots on the other hand are struggling to score points so far, which could be weather related or could be talent related?  It’s too early to read much into any of these numbers, but that doesn’t mean we’re not trying!

#15 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week:  Lost to Passing While Intoxicated 42-25

It’s no secret that TSL’s greatest division lately has been D3, and that’s because of all the parity.  Anyone can win any game, and five teams are already 1-1 with VERY similar stats.  It’s tough to split hairs at this point and rank one Quarterback above another, but 15^th is where we’re slotting Dylan for now.   

Fancy Statistics Section

Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?

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