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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe: It’s over.

Championship Saturday has come and gone. The TSL now has seven new Champions, and for them Social Co-Ed Football Immortality has been reached. For those 70-ish players, June 26^th in the Year of Our Lord 2021 will always be a time of triumph and jubilation that they can always hold on to. For others, they’ll be left wondering what went wrong as they take the next few months to heal, regroup, and prepare to do it again in the Fall.

Part of what makes the TSL so unique is that we’ll NEVER have two seasons that are exactly alike. Every season brings brand new teams, players switching teams, other teams taking a season off, etc. These championships are special and regardless of how much you think winning them can be a sure thing, history has proven time and time again that nothing is ever guaranteed in the TSL.

Look at the seeds of this year’s champions: 1^st, 2^nd, 7^th, 6^th, 2^nd, 1^st.

Only two of the “top” seeds are the champions. Three if you count Breakfast Club, which anybody on the Great White Clarkes certainly does. One of those seeds more than likely should have lost to a 4 seed, but we’ll get into that. Anything can happen on Championship Saturday. And why is that? Well, for starters, most teams tend to absolutely get everyone they have on their roster to show up. We definitely saw the effects of that for some divisions. Another reason is that teams with something to really prove are just better at “showing up” for big games like this than others are. Many times in the past we’ve seen top seeds just walk up to the fields expecting to waltz to a title and before they know it, they get punched in the mouth and don’t know quite how to adjust. For others, it’s simply a matter of having their worst game of the season at the wrong time.

So what happened in each division? How did our Champions achieve their immortality?

D1:

Scores:

Tight Ends In Motion 29, Sticky Bandits 28

Public Enemy 34, Eyes Downtown 33

Championship: Tight Ends In Motion 41, Public Enemy 31

Yeah, you’re reading that right. For a division that gets told its not that exciting, MAN did it ever deliver last Saturday! BOTH Semi-Finals were 1 point, thrilling games. And the championship absolutely came down to the end as well. Sticky Bandits came right out of the gate and punched Tight Ends in the mouth. They played nearly perfect and took a 12 point lead into halftime. But then, they sputtered a little bit. It was a mixture of the TEIM defense and perhaps the moment being too big for them, but TEIM chipped away, eventually taking the lead late. With a minute to go, Sticky had 4-1 from about the ten yard line. Some excellent TEIM rushing led to QB Mike Thomas having to throw the ball at a girl’s feet for a gender play. However, the refs declared it wasn’t a gender play, and it was 5 and 1. Thomas takes the ball, scrambles and COMPLETES THE GAME WINNING TD PASS TO DEAN THOMPSON! STICKY WINS! STICKY. . . got sacked. No TD. It was *that* close. The “non-gender” play call that, from what ive been emailed should’ve been a gender play, robbed Sticky of a 6-0 play and TEIM moved on. In the other game, Eyes Downtown had the ball with under a minute to go, down 7 points. And they scored on the last play of the game. Instead of going for 1 point to tie, Eyes Downtown had the GUTS to go for 2 points and the win against their rivals. Absolutely giving Bobby McConnell all of the credit in the world for that call. He had a chance and he went for it. On the conversion, the ball got tipped and intercepted for another thrilling finish. In the championship game, we almost saw a repeat of last season. Tight Ends was up early and up big on Public Enemy, but Chris Cole and the PE defense started to get it together and slowly chip away at the lead. A TD pass from Cheryl cut the lead to 10 points. PE would stop Tight Ends with less than minute to go, and OF COURSE Cole marched PE down the field. Needing a gender TD with no timeouts left, PE scrambled to the line to get the final play off from about the 5 yard line. Cheryl looked and fired the ball at Greg Osika on the goal line but a thrilling play by Stoner Dave knocked the ball loose, no catch, no TD, no comeback. Tight Ends In Motion win D1, after quite the long journey to get there.

D2:

Scores:

Losing Streak 52, Bullet Club 16

When Dove Cries 42, XTC 13

Championship: Losing Streak 38, When Dove Cries 28

D2 was not nearly as exciting as D1. Bullet Club scored on their first possession, only for Losing Streak to immediately get a “Pick 2” on the conversion, and they were off to the races. Bullet Club had no answer for the speed of Losing Streak, and it showed. When Dove Cries got their entire roster back, and played like a true championship contender. They stomped XTC in the semis (Told you, Power Rankings Committee) to move onto the finals. The D2 finals was a good game. WDC played a great first half but some bad throws by Topper lead to some easy interceptions for Chris Nelson and Ralph Finney. In the end, WDC lost the turnover battle and therefore the game. I heard that the first thing Jordan did after winning the championship was literally hopping on a plane and go to Disney World. Come on man, its just a saying. Congrats to Losing Streak, they sure earned this title. They’ve been the best D2 team since Week 3 of the season and it showed. Now its time for Topper to get them some pink shirts with the right league logo for D1 next season.

D3:

Scores:

All We Do Is Quinn 34, Top Shot 12

Wolfpack 35, Grey Hair Don’t Care 12

Championship: All We Do Is Quinn 34, Wolfpack 33

For as uninteresting as the semi-final games were, the championship game made up for it. Okay, I shouldn’t say uninteresting, because AWDIQ took that “77%” chance to win the title Top Shot was given and threw it right in the trash. Quinn absolutely dominated the favorites, but how did that happen? Remember earlier when we spoke about how teams finally had their whole roster? Apparently Quinn struggled with getting people to show up all season, until it finally mattered. Having your whole roster is a big win. But it wasn’t just that, it was mixed with Top Shot picking this game to play perhaps their worst game of the season, and it was the perfect storm for them to get knocked out. In the other Semi, Wolfpack just dominated Grey Hair. This isn’t a huge surprise when you consider that WP might have been the hottest team in the second half of the season for the entire TSL, not just D3. They carried that into the finals, where they built a nice lead over Quinn. But Quinn didn’t back away, and battled back, scoring at the end of the game to steal the D3 title from Wolfpack, but more importantly they vanquished all of their demons of the past. Finally, Quinn are champions of D3. And it’s awesome.

D4:

Scores:

Freeballers 37, Itches and Ohs 23

Jabronies 46, Practice Squad 44

Championship: Freeballers 33, Jabronies 25

D4 was as legit as we thought it would be. Freeballers didn’t quite stomp Itches and Ohs this time around, but they proceeded to have a decently easy time getting to the finals. Jabronies and Practice Squad played the tremendous game that we thought they would, going back and forth in a high scoring affair that on any normal day may have won “best of the day” honors. The Jabronies couldn’t quite keep the momentum going against the Freeballers, and they had no answer for Anthony Deak and Sean Weisensal. Because of that, the Freeballers took home the D4 crown.

D5:

Scores:

Wasted Potential 48, Breast Friends 8

Zack Attack 43, Interedimensional Lightning Falcons 8

Championship: Zack Attack 27, Wasted Potential 19

I still don’t know what happened, but Topper really screwed D5. Historically, D5 would’ve played with D2 at 12 and 1, after D1/D3 played at 10 and 11. For reasons I don’t quite understand, D5 got moved up to 11 and 12. Playing at 11 absolutely affected the playoffs. Travis and the girls were down Cheryl and Heather as they had the D1 championship. With some of his squad already missing, he was forced to play with some subs and only had 5 girls. The Breast Friends struggles mightily on both sides of the ball and were an easy win for Wasted Potential. On the other field, ILF definitely got a bit boned as well. They’ve been much better this season with Dave Baker at QB, but he was busy winning the D1 title during this game so he couldn’t throw. This put Andrew Kicak behind center and its just not the same, understandably. The incredible Zack Attack defense had zero problem with this and walked into the championship game. This was a good game with a lot of positives to come out of it. First off, Zack Attack was the top team in the league for most of the year, and they played consistently well to take this title. Secondly though, Wasted Potential has REALLY grown as a team the last couple of weeks, and I’m excited to see how they look in D5 next season. They’re proving to be a contender and if they can keep the team together, anything can happen for them in the Fall.

D6:

Scores:

Spinelli’s Plumbing 51, Travis Henry’s Kids 42

Tater Tots 37, TMA 35

Championship: Spinelli’s Plumbing 36, Tater Tots 22

D6 went chalk, which is totally boring for everyone except Spinelli’s Plumbing, who really got it together and just dominated the division the entire season. Travis Henry’s Kids was game for a shootout, but they just couldn’t keep up with SP. Tater Tots’ win over TMA was a classic. TMA waited until the playoffs to have the drama apparently, as Nick Smith did his best Ultimate Warrior impression, powerslamming a Tater Tot (which is one of the best lines I’ve ever written in ten years of doing this) and getting kicked out of the game. Even still, they persevered. Down 10 points on 6-0 on the last play of the game, Ryan Henery fired a pass to Diana Bernal (needing a gender TD), and the ball deflected off her hands only to be caught by Val Testa for the TD. On the two point conversion, Ryan scrambled and threw the game tying conversation to Lauren O’Brien and we’re headed to OT! But wait! Much like the Sticky Bandits in D1, a sack was called, the conversion didn’t count, and the Tots headed to the finals in a thrilling finish. The championship game wasn’t much to write home about, as the Tots couldn’t keep up with Spinelli’s offense yet again, and SP took home the title. Either way, I think we should see both of these teams (along with TMA) in D5 next season. 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR NEXT SEASON:

1. What will be the fate of Chris Cole? It’s the most important question heading into the Fall season. I’ve heard he’s retiring, I’ve heard he’s coming back for one last run, I’ve heard nothing is decided. The domino effect of a Chris Cole retirement across many divisions is quite the interesting story. Had he completed the comeback against TEIM this time, I feel like that would’ve been it. But now, there’s some slightly unfinished business that just may eat at him for the rest of his life.

2. What happens with All We Do Is Quinn? Seriously, they don’t email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and as a result I never know what’s happening with them. They won the D3 title, finally. Do they chase Scared Hitless in D2? Do they finally have that breakup we’ve heard about for 20 years? This would be a nice storybook ending, but here’s hoping they stick around.

3. What teams will be moving up next season? Well, I think all of the champions are actually going to move up. Losing Streak will be really fun to watch in D1. Quinn in D2 is interesting as well. Freeballers should fit right in in D3, same for Zack Attack in D4. Spinelli’s should be more than fine in D5. But, that’s not all. Top Shot should 100% be in D2 next season. D3 was too low for them, regardless of the result. Part of me thinks the Breast Friends should move up to D4, and that the Stunts should consider D3 as well. The Tater Tots and TMA are going to D5, there’s no reason for them to stay down any further. This of course, all depends on who is sticking around.

4. Will there be a Breakfast Club in the fall? This is something that has been asked of me in the emails a lot actually. I know we’ve never done BC in the fall in an attempt to help “save” the fields in the past. But with the fall session starting earlier than it used to, plus global warming, plus the fact that most everyone that has played BC this season kind of looked forward to it more than their regular teams might equal us doing it in the fall. If there’s enough support for it, perhaps it’ll be done.

5. Speaking of BC, how did the final go there? Well, Topper threw 9 touchdowns in the game. The only problem is that 5 of those were to the other team. The EMIgos had a lead against the GWCs, but a clutch 6-0 TD catch by Breakfast Club Championship MVP Anthony Deak, in the second half, followed by two more interceptions in the end zone (both also by Deak, hence the MVP) lead to an undefeated season and a championship for the team in white.

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR THE OFFSEASON:

1. First thing’s first: Thank you to Topper, Coach Jay, Joe K, Travis, Jeff Krol, Val Bernal, Emily Curry, and really just about everyone that helped out this season to make it such an awesome success. We can’t have this league without you guys!

2. For those looking for the final podcast of the season, I guess Topper got some new equipment that didn’t quite work out, and he said they couldn’t record because of it. I believe they still plan to do one, so stay tuned.

3. The TSL Bachelorette is also scheduled for the offseason. I’m looking forward to hearing this contest. Good luck Lauren. If you want to be a contestant you can email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. !

4. I forgot to mention how awesome Jimmy Hearn is! He got a signed Josh Allen mini-helmet and raffled it off with all of the proceeds being donated to Garrett Beesing’s sister’s MS Walk. What a selfless individual. Shout out to Tommy Hughes for helping him acquire it, and to Matty Ice who ended up winning the prize!

5. The Wine Tournament is currently sold out. It’ll be August 14^th, it’ll be ridiculously fun, and if you signed up and haven’t paid yet? DO SO. Why? Because there’s a waiting list for teams trying to get in and Topper will replace you if need be. This sold out really fast. People love their football.

6. THE FALL SEASON OF THE TSL BEGINS ON AUGUST 21^ST. PREPARE ACCORDINGLY. Someone tell the Wanderers.

7. I don’t think TSL – Angry Buffalo relations have ever been so good. Not a single reported problem that I heard of, the bar was usually full, and everyone had a great time. Thank you for being respectful and not destroying any potted plants.

8. I guess there’s a few players playing in some divisions that are just too low for them. In the spirit of fairness and competition, we might be looking at some “divisional restrictions” for these players. It’s more of a compliment than anything else. More on this as it develops.

9. There’s always going to be hiccups, but for the most part I’ve heard that the refereeing was very good this season. As always, if you want to be a referee (and we can always use part timers who want to learn!) please tell Topper or Coach Jay. The more you help, the better the league is.

10. Thank you to everyone that took the time to email me and give me updates on them and their teams. I received more feedback this season than anyone else. I appreciate the kind words I get from everyone about how much they enjoy the article as well. I’ve done this for over a decade now, and while I miss being at the fields week in and week out, I still get to feel like I’m a part of things. So again, thank you.

This article is always bittersweet to write. It’s awesome talking about our newest TSL champions, and the great playoff games that happened, but at the same time I know that it’ll be another month and a half or so until we get to play more games. I hope everyone has an awesome Fourth of July holiday, and make sure you all stay safe out there. I look forward to hearing from you guys with more updates about your teams very soon. There’s a reason this league is the absolute best Social Co-Ed Football League around, and it’s because of the people. YOU are what makes this league great, don’t you ever forget it. I can’t wait for the next TSL season to start, and I don’t think I’m alone in that sentiment.

Take care of yourselves,

GF OUT.

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