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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe:

 

Welcome back!

 

It seems like it was just yesterday that we were bestowing Social Co-Ed Football Immortality upon our division winners. (In reality, it was 8 weeks ago.) I truly hope that in that time, you all enjoyed yourselves as much as possible. Why is that?

 

Because on August 21^st in the Year of Our Lord 2021 it all begins again. The race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is on. We’re standing at the starting gate, ready to burst out into the TSL Universe to see who will be able to call themselves champions and etch their names into TSL lore for eternity.

 

For those that don’t know me, I’m The Godfather. For well over a decade, I’ve consistently wrote this article about the league and it’s comings and goings. I’ve documented extremely accurate picks, the cool things that B’s brother has been up to, various love affairs, and many things of that ilk. I see that we have a few new names to the TSL family, and to them I say: Welcome! Take a second and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to say hello and give me some cool tidbits about your team! The best way to get more publicity is to make yourself KNOWN. I love getting to know the members of the TSL, especially the new ones.

 

Sadly, after a few seasons in the TSL, life took me in another direction. I now write about the greatest, largest, and most competitive co-ed football league in the world from a distance. Des Moines, Iowa to be exact. Such is life, and I had to do what was best for my family and career. So this article is how I stay connected to the league! As I said, the more information I can get, the better.

 

The natural order of the offseason has happened! Players have jumped teams, some teams have left, others have just changed their team names for no reason, some teams did the right thing and went up a division when they won, other teams were sent down a division or two, and new teams have emerged as they look to conquer the TSL. The real question of course is WHO will walk out on top when the smoke clears in October?

 

Well, let me tell you. I always know these things.

 

D1

 

What Happened: The last time we saw D1, Tight Ends In Motion snuck by Sticky Bandits and went on to finally rid the TSL of Christopher Cole and his antics, defeating Public Enemy in the championship game.

 

What’s New: Well, what’s old is new again. The biggest storyline of course is that instead of Cole riding off into the sunset, the TSL’s own Brett Favre has defeated retirement (see: his wife said it’s okay) and got the band back together for one last ride. Public Enemy looks to end this on their terms. Tight Ends is back as the reigning champions of course. And as always, Bobby McConnell will have New Eyes Downtown ready to spoil all of our run. Let’s not forget Sticky Bandits, who’s first foray into the top tier of Social Co-ed football might’ve seemed like a dream when they were slumming it in the D7s and D8s of the world years ago, but they showed they truly belonged in last year’s playoffs. While the offseason had us lose Sloppy Seconds and Why So Serious? Two new teams have emerged. Slob Kabombs is a real weird team name, but I think its some sort of Sloppy Seconds hybrid and I’m intrigued to see how that goes. And Losing Streak comes to D1 after winning D2 last season. Jordan Lawson, Ralph Finney, and 4^th string WR Chris Nelson (kidding, of course) make the jump to truly gain immortality. This team showed last season that they’re for real.

 

Vegas Odds for Fall 2021:

 

Public Enemy (1-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (1-1)

Losing Streak (5-1)

Eyes Downtown (8-1)

Sticky Bandits (10-1)

Slob Kabombs (100-1)

 

The Preseason Prediction: No true disrespect to the Kabombs. But they’re a new team figuring things out in D1. The other 5 teams are established, dominant brands in the TSL who have played this game together for quite some time. After that, it becomes a bit of a free for all. I wouldn’t be surprised to see any of the other 5 teams win the championship. Sticky takes a slight drop back with the loss of Dean Thompson, and I’m not entirely sure who Eyes Downtown has on the roster this season just yet. Bobby always seems to be making tweaks. Losing Streak has some amazing players that will be fun to watch in the biggest show. But when the smoke clears, there’s only one thing we should see, and it’s the best storyline in the TSL: Public Enemy vs Tight Ends In Motion 3: The Rubber Match of All Rubber Matches. Make it happen.

 

The Games:

Public Enemy vs Slob Kabombs (+14) – A very quick trial by fire for D1’s newest team. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 20

 

Losing Streak vs Eyes Downtown (+3) – The newcomers get the respect, being favored over such an established franchise. Bobby should take this as disrespect. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

 

D2:

 

What Happened: Losing Streak defeated our beloved Owner Topper to take the D2 title in their first season, and they promptly were true champions and went to D1.

 

What’s New: D2 looks a little different this time around. First off, there are only 8 teams in the division as opposed to 10. Peachy Platoon has decided not to play this season. Slytherin In That Endzone has also closed down operations. Scared Hitless tried to hide back down in D3, but Topper wasn’t having that and moved them back up. The usual suspects are still around: When Dove Cries (Team Topper), A&A, Bullet Club, and XTC are back for me. Passed Our Prime got smacked around pretty hard in D2 but they’re back for more. Top Shot has made the jump up to D2 after a failed effort to go to D1 before Chris Nelson broke up with them. Word from TSL management is that Blasé has already changed his roster twelve times in order to try to stack his roster as much as possible. When you have Sean Weisansal on your team, you don’t have to. And finally, Dave Baker and Alex Buchlis started the Notorious BNB for this season, which means you’re going to see the usual “Sticky Bandits Lite” players on this roster I’d assume.

 

Vegas Odds for Fall 2021:

 

A&A (4-1)

Top Shot (6-1)

When Dove Cries (6-1)

Bullet Club (8-1)

XTC (8-1)

Notorious BNB (8-1)

Passed Our Prime (10-1)

Scared Hitless (14-1)

 

The Preseason Prediction: A&A had the most shocking offseason when the newly wedded Travis Cleavenger-Bernal didn’t leave the team for some other team. A little continuity goes a long way here. Top Shot has the roster to do some damage, but it’ll be fun to see just how well QB Dylan Jaloza adapts to the tougher competition. Team Topper is back, and WDC is looking forward to having a full team each week as they build on what they started last season. Bullet Club added some new blood as well, grabbing Tony Sanchez and Anthony Deak to help an aging core. Speaking of aging cores, XTC is here and they’ve added Joey Batts to the team. This should be exciting. NBNB? NB^2? I don’t know what I’m going to call the new Baker team, but they should also be formidable. Passed Our Prime might actually have their roster show up this season. If not, it’ll be a lot of fun to see the free agent frenzy over Keyon Elias in the offseason. And Scared Hitless improved last season as it went on. I expect to see more of the same from them here. This should be a case of seeing Notorious BNB taking on A&A in the finals of what should be a classic D2 season.

 

The Games:

 

A&A vs The Notorious BNB (+7) – A&A is a heck of a first game for the BNBers. Both teams trot out some top tier talent, so it’ll be interesting to see how it plays out. A&A BY 3

 

Bullet Club vs Scared Hitless (+3) – I believe Hitless is returning the same team while BC is adding some new faces. This could give Hitless an advantage, but I think the veterans of BC take it. BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

Top Shot vs Bullet Club (+7) – Rawdog left BC for TS which is a fun storyline. Bullet Club always seems to struggle with fast teams, and Top Shot is that. This game will be on QB Dylan and how he performs. TOP SHOT BY 10

 

XTC vs Passed Our Prime (+3) – The Joey Batts Experience takes him to XTC which is going to be a fun follow all season. POP showed some promise this past season, but until they can show they won’t have attendance issues, it’s hard to take them in any game. XTC BY 12

 

D3:

 

What Happened: Last Season, All We Do Is Quinn finally reached the top of the mountain amid multiple seasons of “this is the last season for Quinn” chatter that never materialized.

 

What’s New: All We Do Is Quinn broke up. They vacated the D3 title and its up for grabs. There has been a lot of fluctuation in the teams this offseason. Back are Frodo Swaggins, Grey Hair (now with Molly Morgan!), The Angels (now with Robin Makula!), and The Untouchaballs. Last Dance is some new name for Wolfpack, who made the championship last season. Ricky Austin is throwing for them as the nicest person in the league, Ward Blewitt, is moving across the country. Show Me Dem TDs has a revamped roster, because well, they’d have to have one after getting brutalized in D5 last season. Super Freaks is a new team I don’t know much about other than Ralph Finney from Losing Streak brought them in. Should be fun to watch. Freeballers have made the jump up after winning the D4 title with 100-1 odds to do so last season. 4^th and Dong is a 3^rd and Schlong knock off, but it was enough for Katie Keller to ditch her gender team availability in order to play with the family she abandoned a few seasons ago. Lastly, Cobblestone is in D3 for some reason.

 

Vegas Odds for Fall 2021:

 

Frodo Swaggins (2-1)

The Angels (4-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (6-1)

Freeballers (7-1)

Last Dance (8-1)

Super Freaks (10-1)

The Untouchaballs (12-1)

Cobblestone (15-1)

Show Me Dem TDs (20-1)

4^th and Dong (25-1)

 

Preseason Prediction: This division is really up for grabs if you ask me. Super Freaks has the feeling of a lowkey “shock the world” contender. I can’t see anyone under them in the odds winning though. Last Dance really got their game together to make a run at the end of the last season but can they do it again? Grey Hair will be solid across the board, but I think they still lack the “A” level player to get them over the hump. The Angels continue to collect the best girls in the league, convincing Robin Makula to leave Lenny’s Ladies and join them, only strengthening an already strong roster. Frodo has been on the edge of glory for a few seasons now, is this the time? I’d say so. Look for a Frodo – Angels final here.

 

The Games:

 

Last Dance vs Show Me Dem TDs (+3) – It’ll be interesting to see what improvements SMDTDs made this offseason. Right now, I have to go with the former Wolfpack, who had more time to play together. LAST DANCE BY 2

 

Frodo Swaggins vs 4^th & Dong (+13) – This is Frodo’s D3 and most teams are just living in it. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 10

 

The Angels vs The Untouchaballs (+6) – I don’t know if the Untouchaballs worked on their defense over the last few weeks, but I do know that Matty’s ankle has got to be feeling better than ever. Look for a bunch of points here. THE ANGELS BY 12

 

Freeballers vs Grey Hair (Even) – Grey Hair is better than people give them credit for. Freeballers earned their respect last season. I think this is going to be a pretty even game that’s going to come down to females and the QB. I think I’m giving the edge to Grey Hair, barely. GREY HAIR BY 1

 

Super Freaks vs Cobblestone (+4) – I don’t know if Cobblestone is a D3 team, but here we are. Like I said, I just have a feeling about the Freaks. SUPER FREAKS BY 13

 

 

D4:

 

 

What Happened: The Freeballers ran all over the Jabronies on their way to the D4 title.

 

What’s New: Both of those teams are gone, for one. The division that anyone can win got even harder to predict here. Itches and ohs, Cunning Stunts, Practice Squad, and Buffalo Vice were part of that 5 teams cluster at the top of the standings last year and they’re back for more. But who’s going to join them? Zack Attack, the D5 champions, made the jump up a division. Their defense is D4 ready, but it’ll be fun to see just how the offense catches up. Vaspian made the proper drop down a division, and they’re going to be “Drew-less” this time around. That isn’t a bad thing though. Puckett All-Stars are in D4, making the jump up from D5, as from what I understand they grabbed a couple of the orphaned players from Quinn. The Falconies are a Jabronies-ILF hybrid. Breast Friends, who only played like 3 games together last season, bring their penchant for getting other teams to forfeit up a division. That leaves some new teams in Today’s Feast, Titsburgh Feelers, and Gucci to join us in the TSL. I don’t know much about any of these guys yet, but I had heard that Gucci has a full time female QB in Kelly Kane. Is this true? I need to know ASAP so I can make this a much bigger deal.

 

Vegas Odds for Fall 2021:

 

Buffalo Vice (4-1)

Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Itches and Ohs (4-1)

Practice Squad (4-1)

Breast Friends (7-1)

Falconies (8-1)

Puckett All-Stars (8-1)

Zack Attack (11-1)

Gucci (13-1)

Vaspian (13-1)

Today’s Feast (15-1)

Titsburgh Feelers (15-1)

 

Preseason Prediction: Twelve teams is a crazy thing to try to predict. I have no idea how well the onslaught of new teams will do here, but it’s going to be exciting to watch and find out. This season D4 might be the best one to pay attention to. Personally, I think multiple teams can win it, but for now I’m going to say that we’re going to see Buffalo Vice take on the Breast Friends in the finals. I look forward to being so, so wrong here.

 

The Games:

 

Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad (+1) – Hell of a way to open the D4 season! Big guns coming to play early. Give me the arm of Andy Clark in this one. BUFFALO VICE BY 6

 

Titsburgh Feelers vs Today’s Feast (EVEN) – This is only even because I don’t know what to expect from these teams. I’m excited to find out though. TITSBURGH FEELERS BY 2

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Vaspian (+3) – The revamped Puckett vs Vaspian without their old top weapon. This one will come down to who has more football knowledge and that’s PAS right now. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 8

 

Itches and Ohs vs GUCCI (+6) – The league’s favorite villain in Steve Moser is back and he gets to prey on a brand new (to the TSL) team. This is must watch TV. ITCHES AND OHS BY 7

 

Zack Attack vs Falconies (+4) – Zack Attack is largely the same team, while Falconies have to figure out how to mesh properly. ZACK ATTACK BY 3

 

Itches and Ohs vs Falconies (+7) – Itches and Ohs will just go out and play their game, exploit the weaknesses, and walk away 2-0 in Week 1. ITCHES AND OHS BY 8

 

D5:

 

 

What Happened: Zack Attack showed everyone why they were the best team for the first 8 games of the season and took home their title.

 

What’s New: Everything but Wasted Potential. After a season of “too hot” and “too cold” here’s hoping the Woodpeckers in D5 is “Just right”. Spinelli’s Plumbing moves up after winning D6. TOX lost Topper and moved down to D5, and Not So Sticky is in D5 as well. Come From Behind is back after a brief hiatus. And 716 and Lettuce Win are brand new teams as far as I know. So yeah, completely revamped division that I have no idea about. Good thing I don’t make these odds up.

 

Vegas Odds for Fall 2021:

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing (5-1)

Wasted Potential (5-1)

Woodpeckers (10-1)

Come From Behind (10-1)

Not So Sticky (12-1)

716 (15-1)

Lettuce Win (15-1)

TOX (20-1)

 

Preseason Prediction: I have no idea what’s going to go on here, but I do know that Wasted Potential was very good last season, and Spinelli’s was very, very good in D6. I don’t know what we’ll see from the new teams, or from the Woodpeckers either. TOX lost Topper and Tommy Hughes, so I can’t imagine a world where they’ve improved. Not So Sticky is there for the beer. So yeah, give me Wasted Potential vs Spinelli’s for the finals.

 

The Games:

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs 716 (+7) – Spinelli’s was on fire last season and I think they’ll continue that success against a brand new team. SPINELLIS BY 4

 

 

D6:

 

 

What Happened: Spinelli’s Plumbing took home the title over the other favorites in D6, TMA and Tater Tots

 

What’s New: Nothing. D6 is a little sad this season, as there are only 6 teams this time around. Spinelli’s moved up, the Tater Tots and Bi-Polar Express are on hiatus and Juiced is gone. No new teams replaced them however, so we just have these 6 teams. TMA really should’ve been moved up to D5 this season, as they’re the class of the division. I guess it took all of their competition to either move up or disband for them to be such clear cut favorites, but this HAS to be the year for them. Right? Graves Bros is back and hopefully they get a little more stable than they were last season. Something just seemed off for them in the Spring. Travis Henry’s Kids had a very good debut season that ended with a whimper and I’m sure they’re looking to build on that. Blitzkrieg is back again, but word is they’ll be without their superstar Allie for the season as she heals from injury. That hurts, but they can overcome. Speaking of having to overcome, Lenny’s Ladies once again found themselves losing players to other gender teams in the offseason. This time, heart and soul of the team Robin Makula left them to move onto the greener pastures of the Angels. Luckily, they grabbed some of the BPX girls who were looking for a home so they should still be good. Finally, rumor has it Jordan Lawson was so unhappy with the results of Victorious Secret last season that he spent a lot of time recruiting new players and trying to poach others from the other gender teams. It’ll be interesting to see what the results of that ended up being, but if he was successful on a few game changers, it’ll be fun to watch.

 

Vegas Odds for Fall 2021:

 

TMA (1-3)

Travis Henry’s Kids (4-1)

Graves Bros (6-1)

Blitzkrieg (10-1)

Victorious Secret (15-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (20-1)

 

Preseason Prediction: TMA wins the title pretty easily here. But WHO will they face? I think we’re going to see a TMA – Graves Bros finals this time around. Should be fun to see.

 

The Games:

 

Graves Bros vs Victorious Secret (+8) – The new look VS versus the old look Graves Bros. Graves gets back on track early this season. GRAVES BROS BY 10

 

TMA vs Graves Bros (+6) – TMA gets their best competition in the division after they already played a game. Pretty convenient stuff here. TMA BY 13

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Lenny’s Ladies (+14) – THK might be able to sling it all over the field on the Ladies, as they try to incorporate their new players into the defense. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 17

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Who are the new teams? Go out and watch the newcomers to the TSL, and more importantly watch who comes to the bar and hangs out.

 

2. Opening week without a Topper game? It’s tragic, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be there. I think.

 

3. Okay, who’s going to win these championships? Public Enemy, A&A, Frodo Swaggins, Buffalo Vice, Spinelli’s Plumbing, TMA. Chalk. It never happens, so we’re due.

 

4. Who has the best chance at the “unexpected” titles? Losing Streak, Passed Our Prime, Freeballers, Puckett All Stars, Woodpeckers, and Victorious Secret.

 

5. Will B’s brother be around? Nobody knows. But it’s WAY overdue for him to get to the fields.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1. Its going to be 87 degrees. Wear sunscreen.

 

2. We’re shorthanded on refs, so props to those that stood up and helped out. Please don’t be jerks to those who are helping out.

 

3. The wine tournament was a great success, and Black Willow can’t wait to have us back there as soon as possible. Even if Topper and Jeff Krol butchered the fields. Look for Travis Cleavenger-Bernal to be wearing his belt around the fields all season.

 

4. The offseason was a great success for those TSLers that had babies and got married. I’ve seen a lot of pictures and it seemed like such a blast! I love watching this family of ours grow!

 

5. Speaking of growing, its so awesome to see how many brand new teams we have! Please, again, email me and say hi!

 

6. Please make sure you hug Topper tomorrow. I want to hear him get annoyed at how many hugs he received.

 

7. The divisions were attempted to be as even as we could make them, but its always a crapshoot. If there’s a team that shows up and looks out of place, we reserve the right to make semi-sober changes on the fly.

 

8. If you haven’t paid Topper yet, please do so. Also, if you’re not sure what color your opponent will wear, have your team bring a white shirt (or a dark shirt if you’re wearing white) to make this thing easier. Dark Blue vs Dark Grey/Black games are ridiculous and result in more missed calls by the refs.

 

9. Don’t worry, the power rankings, the sentinel, and the podcast will all be back asap. If you want to be on the podcast, talk to Joe K or Topper at the fields tomorrow!

 

10. Above all else, HAVE FUN and take care of each other!

 

The TSL Fall 2021 season is finally upon us! We made it! Let’s go out there and show everyone why this is the best possible league on the planet.

 

Be safe out there, I’ll see you in the cut.

 

-GF

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