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There’s nothing quite like the midseason of the TSL.

 

Teams are really rounding into form as true contenders, while others that began the season with championship dreams are starting to recognize their shortcomings might be too much to overcome. Either way, the competitive juices are flowing and things are just starting to get interesting, at least on my end.

 

This week the TSL Power Rankings committee, hot off their successful “Top 10 Female Receivers” in the league list, decided to dip right back into the well with the males, expanding it to Top 20. This is genius, because with the lone exception of the “over the hill with a few extra pounds” Mike Boccio, the entire league is complaining about their ranking. And for some, they have VERY good reason to do so!

 

Take Chris Nelson, who was ranked #2 overall, but should STILL feel slighted that he’s not #1. But what about his own teammate Ralph Finney? You’re telling me Ralph, who some feel is the best player on his own team (and thus, better than Chris) is only #7? Amazing miss there by the committee.

 

Drew Colosimo at #5 is hilarious when he’s yet to bring Topper a championship, and he couldn’t even help Vaspian to wins when he was on that team. Fun Fact: Sticky hasn’t won a game since adding him either.

 

Dave Baker gets by on name recognition nowadays, as some of the joint supplements he takes during the week actually expired before half of the Top 20 were even born.

 

Ben Stack “appeared on everyone’s list” but has never given his teams anything more than a migraine and a .500 or lower record.

 

Pete Nguyen is just fantastic and should be Top 5 easily. He’s not only the top Asian in the league, he’s also the top Pete. The disrespect here is tremendous.

 

Didn’t Paul Johnson retire 4 years ago?

 

Garrett Beesing is a national treasure, but to consider him a Top 20 male WR when his hands gave up on him in 2018 (to the point that he had to start working hard to be a terrible QB) is atrocious. Then again, maybe this list IS from 2018.

Dan Gonzalez is more than likely just shocked he’s included.

 

Kevin Zack is 72 years old. And he shouldn’t even count because he isn’t human. It’s cheating.

 

There are so many people right now just staring at this list wondering why they didn’t even get honorable mentions. Joey Batts is cutting a promo right now. Blasé LaDuca is writing a 4000 word response on how his “best friends” Chris and Sean should be unanimously 1A and 1B on a consistently rotating basis because its impossible to choose who is better while also trying to work in how his “intangibles” should have him included on the list. And my favorites, the “nobody knows who this person is but they should totally be there because of reasons” people. Look at the TSL Facebook post about the article.

 

“They clearly never see you play Ryan Rusin”.

 

The TSL as a whole: “Who the hell is Ryan Rusin?”.

 

Nobody still knows, but hey, at least I made him famous for a week.

 

But that’s just negligence on the part of not only the committee for not paying attention to D5/D6 enough, but the team (in this case, thanks to the roster sheet for telling me, Spinelli’s Plumbing) for their refusal to send *anyone* an email to hype up their own players. For all we know Ryan Rusin is a Top 10 talent, but as the late, great Macho Man Randy Savage once said “The Cream Rises To The Top”.

 

In other words, if you haven’t gotten noticed by anyone on the committee, maybe it’s because you’re not that noticeable.

 

So get to work.

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Public Enemy 55, Losing Streak 48

Tight Ends In Motion 30, Eyes Downtown 28

Slob Kabombs 26, Sticky Bandits 25

 

               Another week, another small slate of D1 games. PE continues to dominate the “Chris Cole Retirement Tour” which means nothing since they’ve only played two games. Losing Streak finds themselves just on the outside looking in when it comes to being a true D1 contender. Meanwhile, TEIM takes home a nice victory over New Eyes Downtown, who just don’t feel the same anymore. Can we get Beth back to start throwing elbows? Clearly, Slob Kabombs were inspired by my article last week taking a victory, as Sticky Bandits proceed to lose yet another game that maybe they should’ve won. Are we *sure* its too late for Dean Thompson to come save them?

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits (+7) – Both teams are hungry for a win, as they’ve been playing ridiculously close games. But, Losing Streak is losing out to Public Enemy, not Slob Kabombs. LOSING STREAK BY 14

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Public Enemy (EVEN) – The most marquee of matchups the TSL can offer comes to center stage. This is must watch TV for anyone in the league, shame it’s so early. TIGHT ENDS BY 1

 

Losing Streak vs Slob Kabombs (+10) – The Kabombs look to keep things rolling. This is a much harder test than Sticky was last week, so it’ll be interesting to see if the Slobs measure up. LOSING STREAK BY 8

 

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+3) – Both of these teams are starting to feel like D1 jobbers. Enhancement talent for the more popular teams in the division. Could you ever imagine Bobby McConnell just sort of “being there” in D1? Father Time never loses. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

 

Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+9) – Toby Keith once said “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was” and based off what I said about Eyes Downtown a paragraph ago, I’m thinking they’re going to come hard in this one. It still won’t be enough, but it’ll be fun. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 2

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

XTC 32, Bullet Club 18

A&A 33, Top Shot 29

Scared Hitless 30, Notorious BNB 20

When Dove Cries 51, Notorious BNB 16

 

               XTC takes down Bullet Club to finally get that first win. The Notorious BNB seems to be just going through the motions, allowing Alex’s brother George to throw, and not really caring if they win or lose. Everyone makes the playoffs. Even still, Scared Hitless is 4-0 and absolutely killing it. I don’t know how Dylan got to the next level, but I think he’s here. Look out. Finally, A&A and Top Shot went to war, but the young upstarts challenged the king, and they were promptly knocked down a peg. They’ll learn from this loss and come back stronger.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Notorious BNB vs Bullet Club (+13) – Bullet Club finds themselves in games, but never scoring enough to keep pace. This barnburner of a matchup (the teams are a combined 1-9) should have some fun plays done up, but this feels more like two teams just coasting until the games matter. NOTORIOUS BNB BY 9

 

When Dove Cries vs XTC (+10) – Team Topper is chugging along at 2-2, but with a big Clarke sister birthday weekend coming up, they’re lucky this game is at 11am. XTC looks to continue their momentum, but a stifling WDC defense stands in their way. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 10

 

A&A vs Scared Hitless (+6) – A week after dismissing Top Shot, A&A gets another young and hungry team looking to make a name for themselves with a signature win against them in Scared Hitless. Hitless boasts smart males (none in the Top 20 though), a killer defense, and they have the advantage on the female end of things too. But they don’t have Matty Ice, who’s healthy and killing it right now. A&A BY 9

 

Top Shot vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) – This is a freaking awesome matchup between two of D2s rising teams. They’re even across the board. Game of the day potential right here. TOP SHOT BY 1

 

Top Shot vs Passed Our Prime (+6) – POP wants to get to the level that Top Shot is currently at. They like to score fast and often. But, as we said before, they can’t stop anyone. I feel like Top Shot will score on every possession they have, and POP will have a costly turnover or two. TOP SHOT BY 11

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

The Untouchaballs 34, Grey Hair 14

Cobblestone 36, Show Me Dem TDs 16

Freeballers 27, Super Freaks 17

The Angels 33, Frodo Swaggins 18

Freeballers 16, Last Dance 15

4^th and Dong 38, Last Dance 30

 

               Jeremy Burr has the Untouchaballs offense cruising along. The D3 QB of the year candidate dominates Grey Hair to let the entire division know they’re for real. Cobblestone had a patchwork lineup and still rocked SMDTDs without much effort. Super Freaks may have lost, but they’re getting closer to getting that first win. The Freeballers take two wins this past week, but they can’t be thrilled with their offensive output so far. 4^th and Dong sure can though as they stay undefeated and are the clear cut favorites to win D3 as we head into the season’s second half. Last Dance lost two close ones, but they shouldn’t have much to worry about as they showed just a season ago that they can get it together and make some playoff noise.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) – Is this the end for Frodo? Is the window closed for that championship? This matchup will surely show us just how close they are to being contenders. Grey Hair looks to correct last week’s hiccup. GREY HAIR BY 2

 

4^th and Dong vs Show Me Dem TDs (+15) – Scotty Dro likes to email me about how great he’s doing in D3. So I’m challenging him to score over 54.5 points this week *and* beat the 15 point spread. We’ll see if Mount Ida’s finest is up to the challenge. 4^th AND DONG BY 14. AND THEY DON’T BREAK 50.

 

The Angels vs Super Freaks (+18) – Sorry Super Freaks. You just don’t have the female talent to keep up with the Angels, who seem to have gone all “Stella” on us, and they’ve gotten their groove back. Good for the league, bad for the Freaks. THE ANGELS BY 28.

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice 46, Titsburgh Feelers 7

Vaspian 24, Gucci 23

Cunning Stunts 43, Practice Squad 26

Falconies 28, Today’s Feast 21

Breast Friends 52, Gucci 36

 

               Gucci went 0-2 on the field but from all accounts they were 1-0 at the bar. Kelly Kane finally threw all day for them, and after a very close loss to a surging Vaspian team, they lost to a Breast Friends team that is extremely talented. Buffalo Vice beat Titsbugh Feelers so badly that they decided to quit football altogether. I’m not kidding. They’re done. The Stunts continue to show why they’re D3 bound next season, championship or not. Finally the Falconies picked up a win over the Feast.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice vs Today’s Feast (+12) – Today’s Feast is 1-4, sure, but their -19 point differential tells me they can hang around in most games as they figure out the TSL game. Good on them. But Buffalo Vice is a juggernaut offense that can kill you with a deep ball or on short stuff. It’ll be a challenge. BUFFALO VICE BY 19

 

Breast Friends vs Vaspian (+8) – Vaspian needs to score many gender TDs here to keep pace with Travis Clevanger-Bernal and his ladies. It’s quite the task, but Vaspian has been playing well this season, and I think this could be a surprise. VASPIAN BY 2

 

Vaspian vs Practice Squad (+5) – It was sad to hear on the podcast that Practice Squad has been suffering a rash of injuries. That explains why their once amazing defense is now the only TSL franchise that’s allowed over 200 points so far this season. Big things for Vaspian this week! VASPIAN BY 8

 

Falconies vs Gucci (+6) – The Falconies are getting next to zero respect from the TSL right now. They’re just the forgotten team as they continue to show up, do their jobs, and win games. Gucci is the fun new toy that the TSL is starting to gravitate towards. Look for the Lightning Jabronies to remind everyone who they are. FALCONIES BY 17

 

Cunning Stunts vs Zack Attack (+18) – Zack Attack is settling into D4 nicely (and I hear they have jerseys now!) but the Stunts are a different animal. However, a 3:00 game on the aforementioned “Clarke Twins birthday” has me feeling like a decent sized chunk of the ladies won’t be 100% for this one. But Joey Batts will be. And he’s F’N great. CUNNING STUNTS BY 13

 

Itches and Ohs vs Puckett All-Stars (+7) – The “add some former All We Do Is Quinn” players move isn’t quite paying off just yet for PAS as they’re uncharacteristically anemic on offense and only 1-3. Itches and Ohs has a defense that can cure any teams’ offensive woes, but love him or hate him (most pick the latter) Steve Moser can score with the best of them. Watch him do it again this week. ITCHES AND OHS BY 17

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Come From Behind 50, TOX 6

Not So Sticky 46, Lettuce Win 16

Spinelli’s Plumbing 58, Wasted Potential 30

Woodpeckers 37, 716 32

Spinelli’s Plumbing 44, Woodpeckers 22

 

               The TSL doesn’t know who Ryan Rusin is, but if he’s the catalyst for this disgustingly talented offense that Spinelli’s Plumbing has, perhaps we really do need to reevaluate the Top 20. 210 points in 5 games is tremendous and they’re they only team that scored over 200 points so far. The Woodpeckers settled into D5 nicely, and they’re 2-1 on the season after a literal up and down spring session. They handed 716 their first loss, but there’s nothing for the Pew Crew to hang their heads at. They’re doing awesome. Not So Sticky chose NOT to “Letthem win” in their game against an undermanned Lettuce Win. Come From Behind tossed up 50 against an overmatched TOX team who is currently battling some QB issues since Topper left his friends for dead.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

716 vs Come From Behind (+3) – Quite a fun matchup for two teams that have never played each other before. CFB looks to build on their big win last week whereas 716 is looking to rebound from their first ever loss. There’s a lot of fun factors here, should be a good one. 716 BY 7

 

Wasted Potential vs TOX (+11) – TOX needs to get that offense going if they want to stand a chance in D5. Wasted Potential, not surprisingly, is wasting some potential as they hover around .500 yet again. This team always bides its time and then “surprises” in the playoffs. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 14

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Lettuce Win (+17) – I don’t think Lettuce Win has the ability to stop Spinelli’s, because at this point, nobody does. SPINELLI’S BY 24

 

716 vs Lettuce Win (+10) – The backend of a doubleheader for both teams, Lettuce Win can’t do much until they learn how to score more often. 716 by 13

 

Not So Sticky vs Woodpeckers (EVEN) – a pretty marquee matchup even if it doesn’t sound like it. These teams are very evenly matched and a lot will ride on who shows up for NSS. WOODPECKERS BY 2

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Travis Henry’s Kids 42, Blitzkrieg 37

TMA 48, Victorious Secret 28

Lenny’s Ladies 45, Graves Bros 44

 

               THK finally gets their first win of the season against Blitzkrieg in a game that was going to be so boring I subconsciously skipped over even talking about it last week. And then about 47 seconds after the article was posted by Topper, Ethan was emailing me to correct me. Sorry everyone. TMA takes an easy one over Victorious Secret, putting some of the whispers about them to rest. Finally Topper filled in for an injured Joe K and lead Lenny’s Ladies to an exciting win over Graves Bros.

 

This Week’s Games:

Blitzkrieg vs Graves Bros (+3) – In missing the game in last week’s article, I was given information that BK isn’t even at 100% yet, and hasn’t been all year. Yes, everyone (okay, like 17 people) knows that QB Alex and All-World Female Allie aren’t playing, but they’re also missing a few others. Last week they needed to try out other QBs, for instance. It’ll be interesting to see how they do at “full backup strength”. BLITZKRIEG BY 3

 

TMA vs Graves Bros (+6) – Graves just narrowly lost to TMA in Week 1, so you know that’s on their minds. I was going to expect Graves to take this one, and then Ferger came back. The inspirational leader of the team will continue to right the ship. TMA BY 10

 

Victorious Secret vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) – If there’s something Jordan Lawson doesn’t like, its losing. The sting of a loss to TMA more than likely sat with him all week, so he’s going to take it out on Travis Henry’s Kids. He’s not going to lose 2 in a row. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 3

 

TMA vs Lenny’s Ladies (+10) – Lenny’s Ladies is 2-0 when Joe K doesn’t play, and 0-1 with him. None of that will matter since he’ll be too focused on his former love interest than he will be at being a D+ quarterback. TMA BY 20.

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Is Sticky overmatched in D1? They haven’t been winning the games they should be winning. Perhaps they should’ve dropped back down a division.

 

2. Are people taking D2 seriously? I think any one of the teams can win the championship, but while A&A takes on all comers, and new teams like Top Shot and Scared Hitless are thriving, the veteran teams like XTC, BNB, and Bullet Club are all just biding their time, having fun subs, and trying not to get anyone hurt before the playoffs. Is that the move? Does the regular season just not matter?

 

3. What do we with the Titsburgh Feelers situation? Sadly, for those that don’t know, the Feelers resigned from the league this past weekend. I talked to Topper and Joe K and while nothing is concrete, I think we’re going to get a bit of an “all-star” ensemble cast to take their spot. This team won’t be eligible for the playoffs, but they’ll exist to give the other teams an opponent each week.

 

4. Do you want to referee? Seriously, so many TSLers love this league but not nearly enough of you are stepping up to referee a game or two when we’re in peril. You don’t have to do it all day, but being able to be a “spot starter” could go a long way.

 

5. Do you want recognition? Recently people have been chattering about who isn’t being included in articles, or on the podcast, or anything TSL related. It’s very simple. You read this article. You read other articles. You listen to the podcast. Take 5 minutes out of your day and email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and give us a heads up on who you are! We have over 600 people in the league, and a lot of you are very, very new. It’s impossible for me to learn who everyone is when I live 845 miles away in a log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and my only “lifeline” nowadays is Topper. Think about that.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. I really think the Top 20 Male WR rankings are going to inspire some very talented play this weekend.

 

2. Considering how great the weather has been for the TSL every week (it’ll be 77 and sunny again this Saturday), I think we’re overdue for a DJ Jimmy and DJ Tommy appearance.

 

3. There’s something missing from the podcasts lately. It feels “off” when I listen to them. It might just be the lack of Lenny though. Or the lack of a new intro.

 

4. Thank you again for making the TSL charity drive for the Veterans a huge success. People spun the wheel and had an amazing time. It warms my heart when I hear about how giving this league really is.

 

5. The next TSL charity drive? Did someone say Dog Adopt-A-Thon?

 

6. Anyone who takes what we do for the TSL Media over the years too seriously really needs to take a chill pill. You aren’t being personally attacked because you didn’t get ranked. Don’t ruin things for everyone else. This isn’t to anyone in particular, but if you felt even the least bit attacked by that statement, maybe you should think about why that is.

 

7. Best Game Watching Program Presented By B’s Brother:

               9:00 – Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits

               10:00 – Tight Ends In Motion vs Public Enemy

               11:00 – Graves Bros vs Blitzkrieg

               12:00 – Breast Friends vs Vaspian

               1:00 – Eyes Downtown vs Public Enemy

               2:00 -Scared Hitless vs Top Shot

               3:00 – Puckett All-Stars vs Itches and Ohs

 

I know I did two PE games, but I mean, look at them.

 

8. The amount of emails I get that are just people guessing who I am never cease to entertain me. Just this season alone I’ve been told I’m Topper, Jeff Krol, Joe K, Val Bernal, Travis, Matty Ice, Emily Curry, Emily Schilling, Axel Neff, Lenny, Tommy Hughes, Chris Cole, Dave Walter, Dave Baker, and my personal favorite “One of the guys who are Cookie and Elmo because you can walk around the fields and blend in”.

 

9. I 100% left a secret code in this article, and whoever gets it first will win a TSL prize.

 

10. There’s been chatter that we may make a “TSL Store” where you could get some cool Topper Sports swag. Is that something you’d be interested in? If you would, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

 

The TSL is at its apex! After this week, we’ll be slowly headed towards the second half of the season, winter, and the end of all this greatness. Enjoy this while you can, it always goes so fast.

 

Be safe out there, and I’ll see you next week. Good luck!

 

-GF

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