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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday June 10th, in the Year of Our Lord 2023, you all will take the field and combine to play 25 games of Social Co-Ed Football. Some will be exciting, down the wire games. Some will be absolutely boring to watch blowouts. Some will fall somewhere in the middle. 

 

None of them will matter. 

 

Sure, some of them might matter to some of you for various reasons, but the football aspect of the TSL will be overshadowed by our most important of days: 

 

Lenny and Rameer Day. 

 

To the new people in the TSL that may be reading this and going “Who are Lenny and Rameer?” let me tell you. Lenny and Rameer were two of the most influential people in the TSL’s history. Lenny, to start, was Topper’s best friend and it was he who decided “Eff it, let's start our own league” many moons ago. Lenny was there, making the phone calls to every team in the league (along with Topper, and I believe Scott Airey if memory serves me) to tell them “we’re done with this nonsense, we have the Rose Garden, do you want to join us?”. After some intense negotiations, a good chunk of the teams (including my own) went with Lenny/Topper and the TSL was born. Lenny was a larger than life personality, and as Commissioner of the TSL he was constantly found roaming the fields, meeting new people in the league, and becoming best friends with them. He relished being able to know as many people in his league as possible, and in turn he got them to be a part of his many shenanigans that he pulled. He would buy you a drink, ask you about your game, but then immediately move on from football and would ask you about your grandmother’s sauce recipe, if you’re Pro-Bs Brother, or just how you’re doing. Once you were “in” with Lenny, there was no getting out (unless you tried to pay a bill when he wasn’t looking). He’d bombard you with text messages, and if your phone rang and you saw “Lenny Alba” was on the phone, you immediately knew you were stuck for a minimum of 45 minutes. In fact, the only thing longer than a Lenny phone call was a Rameer email. To say that Lenny is a big reason you’re here is an understatement. He got people to write for the website (Hi.), he was bored and started a podcast that still goes today, he once made a wheel with all of the teams on it and whoever it landed on got a $100 bar tab. And those are just off the top of my head. Everyone who knew him has about 20 Lenny stories, minimum. Which is nothing compared to the man himself, who always seemed to have a story about something or someone no matter what. He didn’t like making things about himself, it was always about pumping up the members of the league, putting them first, making them feel included. He was a great man, and he was taken too soon from us. It’s hard to believe it’s been over 4 years now. 

 

And then there was Rameer. It turns out that Topper and Lenny didn’t always agree on stuff. Crazy, I know. At some point, Rameer worked his way into being the “third man” of the TSL, being the “deciding” vote when Topper and Lenny needed it. Rameer had played in the league for a while, and was always asking Topper/Lenny if they needed help. Eventually, he became the Director of Officiating, which was a fun way to say “he’s doing the ref schedule because Topper and Lenny didn’t want to anymore”. Rameer was a lot like Lenny in that the inclusion of new people mattered to him. But he’d do it differently. Lenny might make a story about you, or make a $1 bet that he could turn you into a star (Hey Boccio!). Rameer would find you, saddle up next to you, and just talk to you. All too often he’d see a new person, walk up to them directly and say “Who the hell are you?” but in a fun way to get them to open up quickly. It worked. Rameer made you feel included right away, he’d find something he’d like about you and talk to you about it (Syracuse, football, music, whatever) and before you knew it, you had a friend for life. Rameer also had a way of noticing if you were “off” certain weeks. He’d keep it to himself, and when he saw you were alone for a minute, then he’d walk over just to ask if you were okay. If you weren’t, he’d genuinely ask what’s wrong and if you’d like to talk about it. And then he’d listen and be there for you. He’d offer advice. He cared. And he’d check in later on in the week to see how you were doing. And he did this for everybody (until you pissed him off for one reason or another and he excommunicated you). The self proclaimed “dirtiest player in the game” was actually one of the nicest people the TSL ever had to offer. When Lenny passed, Rameer stepped up and helped Topper immensely with getting the league going. He cherished that role, because he knew what the league meant to so many people. When he got his cancer diagnosis, he did everything he could to keep things from being about him. He only announced it to the league because he didn’t want anyone to get any information wrong (Go look at the last “The Rant” if you don’t believe me). Rameer fought like hell, but he unfortunately lost his battle. He passed on June 4th, Lenny’s birthday. 

 

The TSL gets called a lot of things. A family, a drinking league that plays football sometimes, a cult, you name it. But the bottom line is that no matter what this league is to you personally, these two were the biggest reasons besides Topper himself of why that is. So yeah, you’re going to play football this weekend. You may win, you may lose, you may tie. But none of those games matter. All that matters this weekend is getting together with your friends, your family, and toasting to two amazing human beings that were taken from us much too soon. 

But, onto the games I guess. . . 

D1: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits 30, Eyes Downtown 28

Tight Ends In Motion 26, Scared Hitless 14

Frodo Swaggins 60, Losing Streak 45

 

Sticky comes back from 22 points down to steal a game away from a very spry Eyes Downtown team that’s been showing they’re not an afterthought. Tight Ends In Motion hangs out in D1 limbo, preparing to pull an upset in the playoffs with a win over Scared Hitless. And Frodo Swaggins gets the biggest win of their season, pulling out a 60-45 victory over Losing Streak! 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

What’s At Stake: There isn’t much at stake here as Sticky clinched the #1 seed, and Legends are locked in #2. However with Frodo’s win over Losing Streak, seeds 3-6 are all up in the air for next week. Scared Hitless and Grey Hair are locked into the 7 and 8 seeds, but not sure who will be where just yet. 

 

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) - Frodo has to be feeling really good after that huge win over Losing Streak, and now they’re looking to ruin Sticky’s perfect season. Sticky has been good, not great the last few weeks, but they’re still getting the job done. As fun as it would be for Frodo to slay another giant, I don’t see it happening. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

 

Scared Hitless vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+6) - GHDC hasn’t played since May 20th, which can’t ever be considered a good thing. Scared Hitless has been playing, but it hasn’t been going well. These two teams are batting for the right to play…the Legends. The loser gets Sticky. Sounds fun. SCARED HITLESS BY 3

 

Eyes Downtown vs Tight Ends In Motion (+7) - Eyes Downtown has been really good as of late, but they don’t have the wins to show for it. They lose to Losing Streak, Legends, and Sticky all by one score and arguably should’ve won them all. They can’t be counted out. They’re a few steps ahead of Tight Ends, who are playing better than in the past, but just aren’t quite there yet. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

Legends vs Losing Streak (+7) - The dream of Losing Streak sneaking into the 2nd seed died when they got dunked on by Frodo, so they’re looking to retool and head into the playoffs with a huge win over the Legends. A win this week would show the Frodo loss was a fluke. Everyone has bad days, right? The Legends have been chugging along and have been arguably the best D1 team since that Week 2 loss to Sticky. LEGENDS BY 3

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended 36, Practice Squad 21

The Untouchaballs 24, Mavericks 16

Freeballers 30, Practice Squad 21

 

Not much to say here for D2. NPI and The Untouchaballs continue their probable run to the championship game. Freeballers are making things spicy with the return of QB Dylan Jaloza, who I was originally told was out for the season. Very Willis Reed of him. And Practice Squad continues to try, but it’s not looking good right now. Then again, it didn’t look good last season either. And we know how that went. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: Unfortunately, the lack of “ladder matches” makes this a less interesting week. Untouchaballs are locked into the 1 seed, and NPI is the 2 seed. Neither of them will have to play next week. The intrigue comes from who will be the 3 seed? A Mavericks loss to Practice Squad, coupled with a Freeballers win over the Untouchaballs would give the Ballers the 3 seed and the bye, and put the Mavs in the 4-5 game next week. Practice Squad has clinched the 5 seed. 

 

The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+10) - How fun would it be for the Untouchaballs to lose on purpose to mess with the Mavericks? Burr doesn’t lose on purpose though. The Freeballers might be peaking at the right time, but their future is the 4-5 seed game next week. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10

 

Mavericks vs Practice Squad (+10) - The Mavericks have had a really nice first season in the TSL. I’m sure they’d have liked a few more wins, but wouldn’t everyone? What matters is that their scoring is as good as anyone’s here, and the defense is improving weekly. I don’t want to kick Practice Squad while they’re down, but they might need one more difference maker on offense. MAVERICKS BY 10

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games;

 

Can’t Touch This 41, Wanderers 38

Jabronies 54, Bullet Club 8

Vaspian 32, Itches and Ohs 22

Degeneration Sexy 42, Vaspian 34

Itches and Ohs 32, Let's Get Reccked 29

Another fun week in the TSL’s most fun division. CTT comes in clutch with ANOTHER big win, this time over the Wanderers. The Jabronies beat the tar out of Bullet Club. Vaspian continues their ascent in the standings with a win over Itches, only to lose to D-Sex right after. Itches would go on to win their second game, a nailbiter over LGR. D3 is nuts. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: Seeding, and that’s about it. It doesn’t matter who any of these teams play in the playoffs, there are no “easy” games. The Jabronies have the 1 seed locked up, and CTT is the 2 seed with the win against the Wanderers. But after that? Chaos. 

Wanderers vs Bullet Club (+3) - A rematch of a controversial Week 1 game where Bullet Club got the win on the last play after a Wanderers penalty nullified a game winning TD. Since that game, the Wanderers have gone on to have 1 score games against everyone but the Jabronies, and Bullet Club has gone 1-4, losing close ones to everyone but the Jabronies. These two seem quite similar, which means it's the Wanderers turn to win, potentially setting up a rubber match in the playoffs. WANDERERS BY 2

 

Let's Get Reccked vs Degeneration Sexy (+3) - D-Sex has been better as of late, getting in some wins. They’re peaking at the right time for sure. LGR is still a bit of an enigma, and their 3-3-1 record shows that. A win gives them a shot at the 3 seed. A D-Sex win gives them a shot at the 6 seed. Not sure who wants it more. LETS GET RECCKED BY 1

 

Jabronies vs Itches and Ohs (+7) - This game means nothing for the Jabronies, but that doesn’t mean they’ll play it that way. Itches and Ohs picked up right where they left off a couple of weeks ago, but they’re perhaps a little too inconsistent to compete with the best team in D3. JABRONIES BY 10

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 28, Travis Henry’s Kids 26

Cunning Stunts 34, BAADies 16

Cunning Stunts 44, Passing While Intoxicated 22

Puckett All-Stars 24, Cobblestone 14

Passing While Intoxicated 41, Creekers 27

 

Buffalo Vice knocks off THK in a close one. The Cunning Stunts reminded everyone just who they are as they improved to 5-2 after wins over the BAADies and PWI. PWI would go on to win a game later against the Creekers. Puckett proceeds to barely get by Darryl and Cobblestone. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: Seedings a plenty! Vice takes on Puckett for the #1 seed and the right to play the #8 seeded Creekers. Everything else is a jumbled mess that will work itself out. 

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - Remember when Puckett was going to destroy everyone and waltz to the title? They haven’t been quite the same in a couple of weeks. They’re still playing well, but not as lights out as before. Buffalo Vice handed Puckett a 53-46 loss two weeks ago, and now the stakes are even bigger as I’m sure either team would much rather play the Creekers over whoever ends up in 7th place. Puckett gets revenge. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 5

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Cobblestone (+7) - Is there any team that’s having more fun than PWI? If you ignore the whole “life saving” situation, this team always represents at the bar and on the field. They’re 4-2-1 and they’re a contender for the D4 title. Buddy has been a great QB for them, and the girls are really making strides as players. It's everything you could ask for. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 10

 

BAADies vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+3) - Both of these teams come into the game at 3-4 and they’re both falling a little short of their own expectations. They both score well, but they both struggle on defense. If they don’t shore that up, it’ll be a quick playoff run for both of them. THK’s girls are reportedly playing better, but they’re still not quite on the BAADies’ level. BAADIES BY 3. 

 

Cunning Stunts vs Creekers (+20) - The Stunts are B-A-C-K. Whatever hiccups they had in the beginning of the season are long gone and Joey and the ladies have been dominant since a 1-2 start to the year. They have an outside chance at yet another division title if Vice and Puckett tie. Probably not going to happen, but it’s there. They’re morphing into D4 favorites. The Creekers are having fun, or so I’ve been told. It’s always tough being a new team placed in a division too high. I look forward to seeing how they perform in D5/D6 in the fall.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 24 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Not So Sticky 21, TMA 20

GUCCI 26, Tater Tots 24

Come From Behind 34, Long Balls 14

 

NSS squeaks by TMA in a close one between two teams falling short of preseason expectations. GUCCI takes out the Tots (who lose ANOTHER close one) to continue to reign supreme in D5. Come From Behind just keeps doing what they’ve done for 4 decades: Win. This time the Long Balls were the victims. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: GUCCI can clinch the #1 seed with a win in either of their two games thanks to their 35-34 win over Come From Behind a few weeks ago. If they lose both and CFB wins, CFB gets the 1 seed. The rest of the division is a mess though, as the 3-8 seeds can all be shaken up with this week’s results. 

 

Come From Behind vs TMA (+10) - When was the last time we saw TMA in last place in the division? I don’t think that’s happened since they were more focused on moonshine than football. After a promising start, they’ve gone 0-5. It’s been a tough season for TMA. CFB keeps moving right along, the only D5 team that’s scored over 200 points right now also has its best defense too. I don’t know how they’ve lost twice. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

 

Tater Tots vs Goatsack! (+3) - The Tots keep losing close ones and they sit at 2-4-1. It’s very misleading, and with some help they can climb to the 3 seed where they would be justified in feeling like they should be there anyway. Goatsack has been quietly moving up the standings themselves, and they’ve already beaten the Tots once. It’s hard to beat the same team twice. TATER TOTS BY 2

 

GUCCI vs Not So Sticky (+10) - GUCCI has been killing it, Kelly Kane is on the QB Rankings list, and life is good for the D5 leaders. NSS snuck out a win last weekend, but they have such extreme issues on offense this season (blame Jeff Krol for taking Christine out of action) that it just doesn’t look like their year. GUCCI rolls. GUCCI BY 17

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Long Balls (+3) - The Long Balls had a chance to really step up last weekend and instead they fell short against CFB. They shouldn’t feel upset about that though, they’re a great team. ILF has been moving pieces around, trying to find a winning formula, and I think it’s safe to say that they’re in a good spot. This should be a good game. ILF BY 7

 

GUCCI vs ILF (+7) - The Falcons get two really good opponents this weekend. There’s no shame in going 1-1. GUCCI BY 3

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Southside 45, Sausage McMuffins 14

Grass Eaters 39, Balls Deep 22

Mighty Drunks 28, Back That Pass Up 0

Two Tuddies 42, Pit Harade 0

Two Tuddies 21, Sausage McMuffins 0 (forfeit)

 

D6 had a lot of easy victories this past week. Southside continues to roll over D6, walking to a big win over the McMuffins. The Grass Eaters didn’t miss a beat, winning by 17 over Balls Deep. And then the Mighty Drunks shutout BTPU, while the Two Tuddies shutout Pit Harade and then got a forfeit win over the McMuffins. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: Southside’s win over the Two Tuddies means they’ve clinched the 1 seed in D6, while the Tud Buds will be the 2 seed. Back That Pass Up has clinched the 9 seed, where they’ll play either Pit Harade or the Mighty Drunks in the 8-9 game. The other team will be the 7 seed. Seeds 3-6, like all of the other divisions, is chaos and can go all sorts of ways. 

Grass Eaters vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - BTPU has been struggling to score and struggling to stop anyone. Such is the life of a brand new football team. They get a Grass Eaters team that knows the game inside and out and will be nearly impossible to stop from doing whatever they want. GRASS EATERS BY 18

 

Southside vs Pit Harade (+17) - Southside can score. Pit Harade can’t stop anyone. It’s a pretty awful mix for a brand new team going up against the top seed. But hey, if you’re Southside, it's sort of like a bye week before the playoffs. SOUTHSIDE BY 15

 

Grass Eaters vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - This should be a very good matchup. Here we have two very good teams that know how to play football, and provided they play to their abilities, this has all of the makings of a Game of the Day. It comes down to who blinks first. Historically, that’s been Blitzkrieg. GRASS EATERS BY 2

 

Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+3) - Balls Deep isn’t getting the respect they maybe deserve. They DID beat Southside after all, but getting blown out but the Tuddies, beating the Drunks by 1, and allowing 45 to BTPU (even if they won) shows they’re too inconsistent currently. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

 

Two Tuddies vs Mighty Drunks (+7) - The Drunks have really gotten it together as of late, beating the McMuffins and BTPU. But with one score losses to Balls Deep and Southside, maybe we should’ve seen this coming? The Tuddies are oh so close to a 7-1 final record, and they’re arguably playing some of the best football in the TSL, not just D6. The Drunks should be happy with how they’ve progressed, and they should look to the Tuddies as an example of what they can become very, very soon. TWO TUDDIES BY 3

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• What about the wildfires and air quality warnings? The TSL is monitoring the situation closely. If there’s a point where the games are unsafe to play, they’ll be canceled, and you’ll all be notified as soon as possible. 

 

 

 

• Will those games be made up? Nope. If the last week of the season gets canceled, the playoffs will still start next weekend. The TSL won’t push games into the July 4th weekend (or take two weeks off and play AFTER that. Who would do such a thing?). 

 

 

 

• What surprises are we getting for Lenny and Rameer Day? It appears that the Rose Garden will have food and drink specials. I believe there will be a dunk tank (that is just ripe for Breakfast Club bets), and a slip and slide too. Not to mention a table for various alcoholic gaming activities. 

 

 

 

• How’s Breakfast Club going? The playoffs for Breakfast Club start at 9am this week. Not surprisingly, Steph’s team has a bye week. Surprisingly, Becca’s does too. 

 

 

 

• With Josh Allen on the cover of Madden 24, does this mean the return of B’s Brother’s TSL Madden team? Only Jeffrey can answer that, but it used to be a giant honor for B’s Brother to create your player in Madden and place you on his team. Hopefully he brings this rite of passage back. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY:

 

 

• Breakfast Club Playoff Predictions: 

• The VaJennas 37, The Ash Slinging Slashers 31

• Liddle Dubs 40, Komosexuals 34

 

 

 

• I got to listen to this week’s podcast yesterday and I have to say that Frank from Wanderers is must listen radio. Lenny would be proud. 

 

 

 

• Best Games To Watch: 

• 10:00 - Bullet Club vs Wanderers

• 11:00 - Cobblestone vs Passing While Intoxicated

• 12:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Grass Eaters

• 1:00 - ILF vs Long Balls

• 2:00 - Legends vs Losing Streak

• 3:00 - Itches and Ohs vs Jabronies

 

 

 

• Three teams that are getting hot at the right time: Vaspian, Grass Eaters, Eyes Downtown. Future Bracket Busters. 

 

 

 

• I wonder how many times a regular season #1 seed has actually won the championship? 

 

 

 

• Assuming the air is breathable, Saturday is shaping up to be a perfect day for football. 

 

 

 

• Word is that the fields will be worked on in the offseason between sessions. They also said an indoor facility would start being built, so perhaps temper your expectations. 

 

 

 

• The Wine Tournament is officially August 5th, teams are already starting to form. Make sure you don’t miss out on the mega event of the summer! 

 

 

 

• Extra reminder to be nice to the refs this week. The last thing you’d want is to be suspended for the playoffs. 

 

 

 

• It’s amazing how fast a season flies by. It seems like just yesterday Jeff reached out to me to see if I was still going to write this article, and all of a sudden we’re heading to the playoffs. 

 

Remember, this week is a week for celebrating and having a good time. Next week is when the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality truly begins. 

We miss you Lenny and Rameer. 

 

-GF OUT

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