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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality has begun, and what a return it has been so far! In just one week so far, we’ve seen some thrilling action (hey there Wanderers and Let’s Get Reccked!), the return of Topper (complete with ‘Hey, he really CAN still do this’ status), old faces picking up right where they left off (Stir The Sauce, formerly Woodpeckers, returning and immediately showing they’re contenders in D5), new faces picking up their first wins (The Roaring 20s walking into the Rose Garden and beating absolute legend Darryl Carr QB Superstar), teams getting new jerseys that are complete downgrades from the ones they had before (ILF), teams completely vanishing into the night like Batman (the Dark Knights, who just disappeared completely), and of course the desire to win so badly bubbling over into chaos (Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown turning into a ‘Royal Rumble’ of sorts, as the rivalry reaches new heights).

 

And this was just Week 1. 

 

Yes folks, after a week where ‘The Monarch’ Jeff Krol truly understood not only why Topper pulled out all of his hair, but also why he drinks a lot of wine, we’re just getting started! Week 1 was fun in lots of ways, and things only get better from here as the weather improves (allegedly anyway, as rain is in the forecast, but hey, it’ll be 70 degrees for you there in Buffalo. It’s a start. It won’t be better here in Iowa.) and Breakfast Club makes its glorious return this week! 

 

Now, for those of you who are new to the league, “Breakfast Club” is the often imitated, yet never duplicated, draft league where you sign up, get a cool jersey, and you get drafted to one of our 6 teams who are captained by 6 of the league’s more recognizable females. This season, we have Steph, Jenna, Misty, and Trish as returning captains, and we have two new females in Dorene and Dri Lozier captaining for the first time. It’s the best way for people to meet new people in the league, get on a team, and really get the ‘fun’ aspect of what this league is all about. Also, the teams usually have mimosas right after their games, which is a bonus aspect of BC. It’s a way for you to get a second game in your day if you want to play more than just once a week as well! 

 

And let me remind everyone of the insane amount of “TSL” content you get every week during the season. The Sentinel returns for a weekly article to speak on what they’ve seen on Monday, The TSL Podcast with Joe K, Becca, Trish, Jeff Krol, Garrett, Topper, and whoever else is a ‘Regular’ plus whatever guests they invite is an hour (or so) long podcast that recaps games, talks about league happenings, and lots of other nonsense and fun that comes out on Tuesday/Wednesday usually, leading into The Power Rankings article that the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee writes together that comes out on Thursdays. Finally, you get my article here on Fridays, which pretty much means every day of your life during the football season can have something new about the TSL in it. And that’s not all without mentioning “The Roost”, which is another podcast done by Andrew and Jason of ILF where they also talk about the league and maybe touch on some more funny and ridiculous things they come up with along the way. 

The point is, there’s a LOT of awesome things about the TSL for players new and old to like and consume throughout the week. If you’d like to ever be a part of any of these things, you’re more than welcome to be! You can meet up with Jeff Krol, Topper, Joe K, Bs Brother, Cookie Monster, Trish, Becca, Andrew, at the fields and let them know you’re interested, or again, you can continue to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I’ll personally point you to the right people to talk to. Sure, winning a championship and gaining Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is fun, but it’s not everything (despite what some people seem to think). It’s all about the fun and having a good time with the TSL family. 

GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• Mighty Drunks - Special shoutout to the Drunks who not only won their matchup with Just Joshing 25-6, but they were also cool enough to stick around to scrimmage the Sausage McMuffins, who were without an opponent when the Dark Knights no showed. 

 

 

 

• Wanderers - I’m pretty sure every season starts with the Wanderers not only playing a double header, but they do it in the rain. They went 2-0 this time, with big wins over Let’s Get Reccked and Buffalo Vice. Is this the year for them to take D3? Sure seems like it.

 

 

 

• Stir The Sauce - As I kind of mentioned earlier, STS showed up and showed out in D5, shutting out TMA, and then going on to give GUCCI a heck of a game before losing 26-24. They look to be contenders for the D5 title already after one week. 

 

BAD NOT GOOD

 

 

• Anyone with ‘Eyes’ - You’re not allowed to complain that D1 doesn’t have enough teams when you decide to do all of the nonsense that took place last weekend. YOU are the reason people don’t want to play in D1, so maybe dial it back a little and represent the league in the right way. 

 

 

 

• Dark Knights - Signing up for the league, then proceeding to not show up for your team, block the league when they contact you to see what’s going on, and having Jeff revamp the entire D6 schedule is pretty lame. Adios. 

 

 

 

• B’s Brother - Word got back to me pretty quickly that B’s Brother wasn’t there at the fields to kick things off, which is probably why it rained and why things went off the rails in some places. Get it together Jeffrey. We’re counting on you. 

 

Okay, let’s get on to the games!!

 

D1

 

Last Week’s Scores:

 

Sticky Bandits 25, Frodo Swaggins 21

Eyes Downtown 43, Eyes Uptown 34

Four teams means two games in D1. While the ED v EU matchup was quite the battle it seems, we did see Eyes Downtown move to 1-0 with their victory in a game that really, nobody won or should be happy with. However, Sticky outlasted Frodo in a heck of a game that showed Frodo continues to get better and can hang with the other D1 teams. They’re closer to making some noise than you think. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - Sticky’s quest for a D1 title gets a litmus test early in the season, as they take on the defending champs. Eyes Downtown can be quite the well-oiled machine, but Sticky has been together forever. Both teams seamlessly integrate new players, and this is going to be a good one. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

D2

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Scared Hitless 38, Can’t Touch This 36

Mavericks 32, Freeballers 14

Mavericks 44, Puckett All-Stars 38

 

We only had three games in D2, but we learned a LOT this past week. The biggest thing we learned? This is going to be a hell of a battle to win the division. The Mavericks came out 2-0, looking quite polished. They easily dispatched of the Freeballers, and then they had themselves quite the barnburner with Puckett. Puckett’s new players (and their old ones too!) really showed up and announced to the division to look out for them. Meanwhile, Scared Hitless and Can’t Touch This played a classic game of their own, as both showed that they’re going to be in the mix for the title as well. Oh, and we haven’t even SEEN the Untouchaballs play yet. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Can’t Touch This vs Freeballers (+7) - The Freeballers might be the only team that might be on the “outside looking in” for the D2 championship. A 32-14 loss wasn’t the start they envisioned, but that could’ve just been the rain and new players figuring things out. They get a chance to rest the line of thinking on them with a game against CTT, who couldn’t quite pull out a win over Scared Hitless last week. CTT has been good in D2 since they arrived, never looking overmatched or anything. A ‘statement’ win over the Freeballers cements them as being on the level of the Mavericks/Untouchaballs. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 10

 

Mavericks vs The Untouchaballs (EVEN) - UT returns to the fields this week, as the Jeremy Burr-led D2 champs get an early test against a Mavericks team that has their sights set on knocking them off. The Mavericks are even better than they were last year, when they felt just a step behind a few of the other D2 teams. Meanwhile, even though UT brings back just about everyone, they did lose Melanie Linsmair, which of course is going to make things a bit more difficult for the defending champs. I believe in Burr. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) - Another great matchup in D2, as the long time “really good D2 team” Scared Hitless gets to take on the “oh, i didn’t expect these guys to be THIS good already in D2” Puckett All-Stars. I don’t think defense is going to be the name of the game here, and we may see a 44-40 type situation here (Which can only mean this game will end up 14-6). Give me the experienced team. SCARED HITLESS BY 7

 

The Untouchaballs vs Puckett All-Stars (+3) - Puckett gets to take on the defending champs in a very interesting matchup that is so good, they get the TSL Prime Time Game of the Week, being the only 3:00 game. Upset time? PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 4

D3

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers 34, Buffalo Vice 32

Practice Squad 14, Topper All Stars & Todd 12

Keller Whales 36, Buffalo Vice 24

Wanderers 36, Let’s Get Reccked 32

Keller Whales 30, Practice Squad 12

Let’s Get Reccked 33, Bullet Club 20

 

We had lots of D3 games in Week 1, as FIVE of the division’s 9 teams had doubleheaders already. For the most part, all of the games were pretty close, except that the Keller Whales started 2-0 and dispatched both of their opponents pretty easily, winning by 12 and 18 points respectively. The Wanderers also went 2-0, winning by 2 over Vice and 4 over LGR, who went on to beat Bullet Club by 13. Practice Squad spoiled the return of Topper, sneaking out a 2 point win as they also returned to D3. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Malones vs Bullet Club (+6) - The Malones had a week off to start the season, and they’re getting a Bullet Club team that looked slightly off last week as they adjust to new QB Dylan Jaloza. I believe The Malones are returning just about everyone from last season, which means they’ll be ready to dominate the way they did a season ago once they found their footing. THE MALONES BY 9

 

Jabronies vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - Practice Squad already has two games under their belts and one of those games was a win over a returning team. They find themselves in the same situation this week, getting the Jabronies in their return to the fields. While the Jabronies are talented, PS has a slight advantage in already playing this season, and that may make all the difference. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2

 

Buffalo Vice vs Topper All-Stars & Todd (+7) - Buffalo Vice may have gone 0-2 last week, but they showed they can hang with the top teams in the division. They’re quite talented, as we know, and their girls are arguably the best in the division top to bottom. TAST (do we go with TASTY here?) struggled to put up points last week, but their defense was up to the challenge. I expect the offense to perform better this week. TOPPER ALL-STARS & TODD BY 6

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Keller Whales (EVEN) - If the Keller Whales came out of Week 1 looking like the top team in D3, LGR isn’t very far behind (and the Wanderers are sandwiched in between them). The TSL Rankings #1 overall team after Week 1 had next to no issues as Damien Keller continues to channel Scott Senior in being an athletic marvel who can do anything. He’s going to have a hell of a test against LGR’s defense though, and this may come down to who blinks first. LETS GET RECCKED BY 2

D4

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Tater Tots 48, Creekers 22

ILF 42, The Roaring 20s 18

Cunning Stunts 42, Reset Warriors 34

The Roaring 20s 32, Cobblestone 20

 

The Tater Tots look every bit of a contender now that B is throwing for them, and the move to D4 seems to be the right one after Week 1 after they picked apart the defending D5 champs in the Creekers. ILF welcomed The Roaring 20s to the TSL, handing them a 24 point loss before The 20s would go on to win against Cobblestone later on. And while the Cunning Stunts won (which always seems to happen), the Reset Warriors stuck with them in their first game, which bodes well for the future. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Cobblestone (+6) - PWI makes their return to the fields after a Week 1 bye looking to get right back in the win column. This team has been consistently good for quite a few seasons now, and they’re looking to take another step forward. After Cobblestone’s loss last week, they may be ripe for the picking. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 7

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Creekers (+10) - The Creekers look to be going through some growing pains in D4, and getting a cohesive unit like ILF isn’t going to help them with that much for Week 2. ILF looked like they were in midseason form last week, and while they definitely have some fun out there, there’s this vibe that they’re more focused on a championship than ever. ILF would be a fun team to have in D3, maybe we’ll get there. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 17

 

Tater Tots vs The Roaring 20s (+7) - The Tots looked great last week, there’s no doubt about it. It’ll be hard for them to not continue that this week against TR20, who looked competent to good in their debut last week, but it’s hard to imagine B doesn’t pick them apart and puts up 50 again. You hear that B? You have a goal. 50 points. Show me what you’ve got. TATER TOTS BY 10. 

 

Vaspian vs Reset Warriors (+4) - Vaspian drops down a division from D3, but it feels like the right move for them as their roster isn’t quite the same as it used to be. We haven’t seen them play just yet, but they do have a lot of veteran talent on the squad. Reset Warriors had a good showing in a loss against the Stunts, but I’ll need more of a sample size from them before really knowing how I feel about them. VASPIAN BY 2

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

Stir The Sauce 28, TMA 0

Not So Sticky 31, Two Tuddies 23

GUCCI 26, Stir The Sauce 24

Travis Henry’s Kids 43, PowerPuff Girls 16

 

As widely reported in this article already, Stir The Sauce had themselves a nice Week 1, going 1-1 but looking like they’ll be a problem for everyone in D5. TMA got shutout in the rain, as they enter another season of roster turnover and figuring things out again. Not So Sticky took a win over the Tud Buds, in what was a fun contest. The Tuddies look like they’ll be alright in D5. GUCCI got a win, as they do, and THK put up a lot of points in a win over the PPGs, as Langley shines in a lower division, as he runs away from tougher competition as usual. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Two Tuddies vs TMA (EVEN) - I won’t say both of these teams need a win just yet, because it’s really early in the season, but it almost feels that way. On the one hand, you have a TMA squad that had a rough season last year, went down a division, and then promptly got shut out in Week 1. The Tud Buds lost to Not So Sticky last week (who weren’t exactly ‘great’ in D5 last season) and now they get a discombobulated (someone please explain to Colorado Mike what this ‘big word’ means) TMA squad who is on the ropes. If they can’t beat TMA in this state, who in D5 CAN they beat? Both teams need that “get the monkey off their back” type of win that this game represents. TMA BY 1

 

Not So Sticky vs PowerPuff Girls (+8) - NSS gets a really fun game against the ladies who are still figuring it out. I say that weekly, but it remains true. For what NSS might lack in pure athletic talent overall, they make up for in things like “knowing football very very well”. Look for NSS to exploit the weaknesses in the PPG defense. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

 

Come From Behind vs Travis Henry’s Kids (EVEN) - Perhaps the strongest combined QB arm matchup we’ll see this season, CFB joins us after a week off to start the season against a very good THK squad. Paul and Langley should both have fastballs dialed up as these two teams could put on quite the show. This is lowkey a potential championship game preview. COME FROM BEHIND BY 3

 

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (+3) - These two teams have been battling it out for a few seasons now, and we’ve gotten some absolutely quality games from them. I expect this one to be no different. GUCCI BY 2

D6

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Balls Deep 22, Back That Pass Up 17

Blitzkrieg 29, Sticky Laces 20

Pit Harade 21, Dogg Pound 16

Mighty Drunks 25, Just Joshing 6

Sausage McMuffins 21, Dark Knights 0 (Forfeit)

 

Balls Deep and Back That Pass Up picked up where they left off in the regular season last year, with Balls Deep winning and BTPU not winning. However, I feel like if we played this game 9 more times, you’d see a 5-5 record for both teams. New teams had a rough start as  Blitzkrieg started off the season right with a victory over the new Sticky Laces, Pit Harade got a win over the brand spankin’ new Dogg Pound, while the Mighty Drunks did the same over Just Joshing. And then the McMuffins got a forfeit win over the Dark Knights to start off 1-0. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+6) - BK started off the season right, looking sharp for the most part in their win over Sticky Laces. Spring BK tends to feel a lot more dominant, and I think this game is going to be telling on how the D6 season is going to go overall. Balls Deep has made it a habit over the last few seasons of beating the “on paper” title contenders, and it seems like they really get up for games like this. What would a Blitzkrieg season be without a little up and down play? BALLS DEEP BY 8

 

Mighty Drunks vs Back That Pass Up (+7) - The Drunks showed up last week in an easy Week 1 win, but the question with them always remains: Which version of this team is going to show up? Some weeks they look unstoppable, and others they’ve looked like they’re headed for D7. BTPU is still trending upwards from last year, despite the Week 1 loss. They’ll give the Drunks a game for sure. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 2

 

Pit Harade vs Just Joshing (+8) - Pit Harade and QB Dave Walter get a brand new team for a second week in a row. PH seemed to need to shake off some rust from last season, but they should be in the D6 title mix, especially with Tall Bearded Guy, Little Fast Guy, and Ray on the roster. JJ didn’t have the best of days a week ago, and they may not love things this week either. PIT HARADE BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Dogg Pound (+10) - The McMuffins get to see what the Dogg Pound is all about, provided they show up to play. Maybe teams are just that scared of the McMuffins that they’d rather not show up than get embarrassed? Either way, I’m pretty sure the Dogg Pound will be there, as they continue to figure out the TSL game. I’m sure Alex is going to have his troops ready to “win a real game” this week. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 14

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• So what happens now that the Dark Knights are out of the league? Well, the league already changed the D6 schedule around to erase any semblance of DK even being a part of the league for a second. Sorry to the McMuffins for getting a preseason game essentially? Everyone makes the playoffs, so it doesn’t fully matter anyway. 

 

 

 

• Would games ever get rained out? This is for all of the new players we have in the league. Games can (and have!) gotten rained out before. Playing too many games in the rain will destroy the fields, and we don’t play when there’s lightning either. You should be following the TSL on Topper’s Super Kool Telegram app for the fastest updates, or at the very least follow the TSL Facebook page that can get you updates as well. As for rescheduling games? That may be tougher with only having 4 fields this season, so it’s to be determined. 

 

 

 

• Do we have bar specials again this season? I’ve yet to be told of any drink specials from Jeff, but I was informed that they had a special football food menu up that included the always popular breakfast sandwich, but a breakfast burrito, chicken wing dip, and some other items as well. Hopefully the Rose Garden will bring down the price of a bucket of High Noons for you all next. 

 

 

 

• What was the biggest overreaction from Week 1? That Topper was going to come back and set the league on fire. 

 

 

 

• Who is currently leading the “Best New Team” Power Rankings? While the full rankings aren’t fully figured out yet (it’s almost like we should have a power rankings committee that does this stuff), I think it’s safe to say that the Dogg Pound is #1 right now. I know you’re saying “But they lost? HOW?”, and I’ll just casually remind you that while they lost, they played well, AND they showed up at the bar and hung out a bunch. I was told a “good chunk, if not all of them” stayed after their game and had a few drinks. That’s like 75% of this league, don’t forget. Shout out to them. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY

 

 

• Breakfast Club is back, and my predictions for this season just based off the rosters is that Steph Infection beats Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) in the finals. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Game Predictions:

• Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 37, D’s Nuts 30

• Steph Infection 40, Dri’s Company 27

• Mistymeanors 28, Jeneva Conventions 20

 

 

 

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Balls Deep vs Blitzkrieg

• 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Topper All Stars & Todd

• 12:00 - Keller Whales vs Let’s Get Reccked

• 1:00 - Mavericks vs The Untouchaballs

• 2:00 - Come From Behind vs GUCCI

• 3:00 - Puckett All-Stars vs The Untouchaballs

 

 

 

• IF YOU HAVEN’T SIGNED THE WAIVER PLEASE DO SO ASAP! LET’S GO. CLICK HERE AND DO IT: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NqaQgYi1a2Sr-vlV_Nab-G7gIJhM3fE0O_xWzK0s5P0/edit

 

 

 

• Three teams trending up: Puckett All-Stars, Tater Tots, Buffalo Vice

 

 

 

• Three teams trending down: Cobblestone, Creekers, Two Tuddies

 

 

 

• Lots of teams have similar colors, so do yourselves a favor and always bring a backup color. If you wear dark (Black, navy blue, etc) just have everyone bring a white shirt, and if you wear light (white, light blue, etc), just bring a black shirt. Make things easier on everyone!

 

 

 

• Remember, the refs are there to help the league run smoothly, and they’re doing their best to keep things in order. There will be missed calls and mistakes. Don’t lose your mind on them because of it. Keep a cool head. 

 

 

 

• If you want me to write more about your team or who is good on the squad, etc etc, the best way to do it is to, again, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me what's what. 

 

 

 

• Shout out to all of the TSLers in the last few months that are getting married, have gotten married, gotten pregnant, or have had a baby! It’s always awesome to see the good things happening in our little TSL family here. Congrats to everyone! 

 

And with that, Week 2 is upon us. Stay safe, and please, try not to fight. 

-GF OUT

 

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