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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, just like that, in the blink of an eye, we find ourselves rolling into the halfway point of the season as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins its approach to the finish line. Historically in the TSL, it’s not how you start a season that matters, it’s how you finish it. With the rosters locked in for the TSL Fall 2024 Season, the teams that have struggled so far this year really have to take the next few weeks to figure out what ails them. In reality, all of the TSL’s teams have some things they need to work on (not you, Wet Bandits, you’re fine) just some have a lot less to worry about than others. Week 4 of the TSL regular season is the perfect week to really lock in your focus on where your team is struggling, and figure out what you need to do to achieve the ultimate goal of Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. 

 

With all of that said, the season has already been quite a ride. We have had forfeits, injuries, pouring rain, ref issues, the existence of Field 5, and just this week a new team, Straw Hats, was forced to fold in D3. But we’ve also had some beautiful weather for games. B’s Brother has been at the fields, as has his probable father, Topper (It’s down to Topper and Cookie Monster, and both have refused DNA tests). We’ve had a large number of very close games (1-3 points). The D2 teams are absolutely up for the fight in the D1/D2 crossover games, proving that they’re not “lesser” teams by any means, and sparking interest in future D3/D4 and D5/D6 crossover matchups. The bar has been hopping for sure. This week the TSL is going to have a bunch of adoptable cats and dogs from the animal shelter there from 12-2 for your petting pleasure. Lots of good things have been happening. Weird things have happened too. Like the Wet Bandits, Grey Hair Don’t Care, and Bullet Club have all played 5 games so far this year (Bullet Club is technically at 6 if you count the Straw Hats future forfeit win for them too) while GUCCI has only played 1 game so far this season, and handful of teams only have played twice. 

 

Heading into Week 4 here’s each division’s Top Seed and Bottom Seed if the playoffs started today, and we’ll see if these hold up going into the playoffs in October. 

 

D1: Top Seed - Wet Bandits, 5-0, beating everyone pretty easily, have a 95% chance of staying the top seed, looking dominant. Bottom Seed - Freeballers, 0-4, getting beaten by everyone pretty easily, have a 95% chance of staying the bottom seed, stuck with Hogan. 

 

D2: Top Seed - Mavericks, 2-1, got the vibes right yet again, but have a 25% chance of staying the top seed, which is all about how competitive the division is and has nothing to do with their own play. Bottom Seed - Grey Hair Don’t Care, 1-4, their only win is against a D1 team, has an 80% chance to stay the bottom seed, just because they have 2 more losses than anyone else does already. 

 

D3: Top Seed - Practice Squad, 3-0, hell of a good start for them, have a 30% chance to stay the top seed, mainly due to the fact that they have a forfeit win and beat a PWI squad that was short handed in Week 1. The schedule is going to get much tougher. Bottom Seed - Topper All-Stars & Todd, 0-3, haven’t had Topper yet, have a 43% chance to stay the bottom seed, but with a returning Topper, along with Aaron and Drew, can start pulling off a string of wins as well. 

 

D4: Top Seed - Cunning Stunts, 4-0, already beat their main competition, 97% chance to finish as the top seed, none of that matters since they do this all of the time and choke in the playoffs. Bottom Seed - Cobblestone, 0-3, multiple forfeits because of a lack of girl power, 100% chance to finish as the bottom seed unless they fix the roster issues that have plagued them this season. 

 

D5: Top Seed - Two Tuddies, 2-0, off to a good start with the new look roster, 30% chance to stay as the top seed, lots and lots of good games upcoming that they won’t be favored in. Bottom Seed - Pit Harade, 0-3, the move up to D5 hasn’t been easy, 75% chance to stay as the bottom seed, moving up divisions is hard for any team in the TSL, and doing it with a new QB and roster issues ramps up the difficulty. 

 

D6: Top Seed - Blitzkrieg, 3-0, looking really, really good again, 85% chance to finish as the top seed as they beat their biggest competitor (Sausage McMuffins) and they’re LONG overdue to get a championship. Bottom Seed - Dogg Pound, 0-3, essentially still an expansion team, 50% chance to stay the bottom seed as any team in the bottom half of the D6 standings can get hot and rise up (or get cold and fall off), so why not them? 

 

That’s where things stand as we head into Week 4. What does it all mean? Nothing specific. It just means the story of the TSL Fall 2024 season is still unfolding, and there’s still time to write your perfect ending. And that includes Freeballers, Grey Hair, TAST, Cobblestone, Pit Harade, and the Dogg Pound too. 

D1/D2 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Wet Bandits 39, Freeballers 13

 

The best in the division meets the worst in the division, things go kind of as expected. 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Can’t Touch This 41, Sticky Bandits 33

Eyes Downtown 38, The Malones 24

Mavericks 42, Frodo Swaggins 34

Wet Bandits 45, Mavericks 32

Scared Hitless 33, Freeballers 21

 

D1 leads the season series 6-4.

The most fun you can have during a TSL Saturday besides playing is watching a D1/D2 crossover game. Can’t Touch This knocks off the defending D1 champion Sticky Bandits, Mavericks took out Frodo before losing to the Wet Bandits, and Scared Hitless beat the Freeballers to give D2 a 3-2 win this week in the D1 v D2 standings. Eyes Downtown got things together and reminded everyone who they are as they beat up on The Malones 38-24 as well. 

 

D2

 

The Untouchaballs 32, Grey Hair Don’t Care 31

 

All is right with the world as Jeremy Burr showed up to the fields, and just did what he does best: win football games. His team helped too, I think. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

D1

 

None. There are no D1-only games this week. 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+7) - The Untouchaballs got Burr back at QB and they immediately put up points and quieted any worries that they were in trouble this season. The Freeballers, however, continue to look like they’re in trouble, as things just aren’t breaking right for them this season. The schedule isn’t easy the rest of the way, but it’s also not as hard as the beginning of it was, perhaps giving hope that the ship can be righted. There’s no hope here. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 4

 

Sticky Bandits vs Scared Hitless (+8) - Scared Hitless is about to pop. You can feel them quietly getting to another level while everyone is paying attention to everyone else. They won’t be able to catch Sticky napping after they lost to CTT last week though, but expect a great game. STICKY BANDITS BY 3

 

The Malones vs Frodo Swaggins (EVEN) - Frodo is playing well, but they don’t quite have a “signature win” on the season, although you can argue that the win over CTT was close. The Malones are a buzzsaw that currently needs sharpening. I’m not sure The Malones have ever lost two weeks in a row, and for the storyline I’m going to just assume they haven’t. On the one hand, they lost their crossover games so far, but on the other hand it was against Sticky Bandits and Eyes Downtown, two of the premier franchises in TSL history, and they just had a bad half in each game. Both teams need this win, and they’re going to play like it. THE MALONES BY 3

 

Eyes Downtown vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+7) - Eyes Downtown got back on track a bit last week as they put the finishing moves on The Malones ascension to the TSL heavens. It was a good game for ED, and it hopefully signals the turn around they’ve needed since winning the D1 title last fall. If anyone is going to slow down the Wet Bandits, besides Kevin McAllister, it’ll be ED. They’ve done it before. As for GHDC, the season hasn’t been the best for this squad, but they’re a smart bunch that you can’t sleep on. They really need to fix that defense though, and they have 4 games to do it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

D2

 

The Untouchaballs vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) - Two teams with the green “trending up” arrows meet in a regular old boring D2 matchup. Just kidding, there’s nothing boring here when you could potentially get a Jeremy Burr vs Travis smack talking matchup on a Saturday. Burr is always at his best when he can fire himself up though, and you know he’s still mad about Travis kicking him off the Legends (when Burr was a sub in the playoff) because Boccio appeared (and he’s scared the Wet Bandits will do that to him again this season). Burr takes this out on SH. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10

 

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Practice Squad 21, Straw Hats 0 (forfeit)

Passing While Intoxicated 38, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 18

Jabronies 40, Buffalo Vice 30

Mix’n It Up 28, Bullet Club 18

Bullet Club 35, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 6

Wanderers 36, Let’s Get Reccked 32

 

Lots of fun D3 games this week. Practice Squad stays on top of the standings as Straw Hats have to forfeit and then unfortunately fold the team. PWI gets another win in D3 as they beat TAST. The Jabronies slip by Buffalo Vice who continue to put up 30+ points consistently in D3. Mix’n It Up finally gets to play a complete game, and they get by Bullet Club to move to 2-0 on the season. Bullet Club would rebound, dominating TAST right after, to get to 1-1 on the day. And lastly the Wanderers held off Let’s Get Reccked 36-32. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Wanderers vs Passing While Intoxicated (+10) - PWI, on paper, is looking good in D3. They’re 2-1, and they can hold their heads high knowing they lost in Week 1 with only 5 people on the field. However, they probably played about as easy a schedule as anyone could have. Business is about to pick up as PWI plays the Wanderers, who are constant D3 favorites, and a first ballot “Social Co-Ed Football Hall of Fame” team. The real season for PWI starts now. WANDERERS BY 12

 

Wanderers vs Mix’n It Up (+3) - The Kellers returned to the fields last week, played one game, and walked off with 2 wins as only they could do (The suspended Straw Hats game they played in Week 1 was awarded to them, but still). Damien continues to grow as a QB, Katie Keller continues to be a dominant player even in her 40s, and everyone on this team knows exactly what to do. The Wanderers, of course, have played the same brand of football for 7 decades, and these two teams are very similar in a lot of ways, but give me the experience of Frank every time. WANDERERS BY 8

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Bullet Club (+7) - Let’s Get Reccked has only played two games, but they looked good in both of them. Bullet Club has played in 5 games, and has looked good and bad and I’m not sure what we’re getting out of them this season. Right now LGR feels like an outside title contender, and BC feels like they’re just on the outside looking in. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 3

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Practice Squad (+3) - I’m waiting for B to point out that he doesn’t get any respect, but I’m pretty sure I sing his praises often, thank you very much. PS is a weak 3-0, and even he’s going to admit that, beating a 5-man PWI, getting a forfeit win, and then only beating Vice by 3 in the one real game they had all year. A win here would go a long way for Practice Squad, but we’ve been waiting for LGR to have a dominant season for a few seasons now, and this might be the one. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 13

 

Practice Squad vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (+7) - The rumors are swirling that not only that we might see Topper don his customary hat and get on the field for the first time this season, but also that his shoulder is feeling better than ever (in his defense, he can’t remember more than 3 years ago anymore, so he’s right), and our fearless leader is going to line up behind center. There’s nothing the league would want to see more than a Topper vs B football matchup, that’s for sure. However while the arm is feeling great, there’s still some rust on his brain to shake off, so it’ll be interesting to see how a comeback shakes out. It could be rough, but it’ll more likely be like when Mario Lemieux returned to the NHL after retiring and had 3 points like he never left. Right? PRACTICE SQUAD BY 10

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Cunning Stunts 52, ILF 36

Select 21, Cobblestone 0 (forfeit)

The Herd 40, GirthQuakes 28 

 

The Cunning Stunts knock off ILF to establish dominance in D4, Select gets a forfeit win over Cobblestone (but they did play a game!), and The Herd gets another win as they beat the GQs. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Creekers vs GirthQuakes (+3) - The Creekers haven’t really been themselves yet this season, but with only two games under their belts so far, there’s definitely time for improvement. The GirthQuakes are coming along in their first season, but there’s been some growing pains for the new squad that are continuing to work themselves out. CREEKERS BY 7

 

Cunning Stunts vs Cobblestone (+21) - If Cobblestone doesn’t want to field a squad for this one, I can’t say I’d blame them. The Stunts continue to be on another level, and we don’t know quite what Cobblestone can actually do at full strength. CUNNING STUNTS BY 16

 

The Herd vs Cobblestone (+3) - The Herd is slowly coming together for sure, and it’s good to see the improvement they’ve had in their second season. They seem to have gotten a handle on how to beat the “non-top” teams in the division. THE HERD BY 8

 

Select vs Vaspian (+8) - Vaspian returns after a week off, looking to continue the “our record is 1-3 but we haven’t been that bad at all” season they have going for them. Select has had some fireworks it seems, but they’re 3-1 and they have a superstar on the team that everyone else is seemingly a bit afraid of in Malikye (which I’m pretty sure I spelled that wrong, my bad). SELECT BY 14

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing 53, Stir The Sauce 52

Not So Sticky 25, Powerpuff Girls 24

Two Tuddies 44, Pit Harade 22

Stir The Sauce 21, Come From Behind 20

GUCCI 42, Powerpuff Girls 41

 

5 games in D5, and four of them were one point games. Spinelli’s just outlasts STS who then goes on to beat CFB by a point themselves. The Powerpuff Girls went 0-2 on the day with two 1 point losses, one to Not So Sticky, and the other to the returning GUCCI. The Two Tuddies doubled up on Pit Harade in the other game, as they go to 2-0 on the year. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Not So Sticky vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+3) - Spinelli’s finally showed up this season (for them, I mean scoring 50+ points) and they looked good doing it as they remembered who they are. That’s not great news for the rest of D5. However, if there’s one team that’s pretty good at slowing down high octane offenses, it’s NSS. This game will probably end up in the 20s for both teams, unless NSS just can’t run with SP. NOT SO STICKY BY 2

 

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (+3) - The perennial top two teams in D5 for the last few seasons have themselves some company with STS, PPG, NSS, and Spinelli’s all looking like top tier D5 contenders. In this classic matchup, you can expect some high scoring, and a close game. GUCCI looks to be as good as always, although CFB seems to be starting slow for whatever reason. That’s the only reason to bet against them. GUCCI BY 6

 

Stir The Sauce vs Pit Harade (+10) - These two teams already met once earlier in the year, as STS cruised to an easy victory and they haven’t really looked back since. STS has been pretty impressive so far this year, while Pit Harade is looking to be having a rough go at it so far. Perhaps they’ll figure it out this season, but not this game. STIR THE SAUCE BY 13

 

GUCCI vs Two Tuddies (+8) - The Tud Buds have something going here with the new look roster, but this is easily the measuring stick they need to see if they have what it takes. Beating GUCCI means getting gender TDs, which Kory said on the podcast this week that the Tuddies have SEVEN of, so perhaps they’re preparing for GUCCI (and the PPG) ahead of time? Either way, GUCCI represents a much harder challenge, and I’m not sure the Tuddies are up for it just yet. GUCCI BY 13

 

Stir The Sauce vs Two Tuddies (+8) - Hell of a double header for the Tuddies this week, as they get to test themselves not only against GUCCI, but also against the arguably hottest team in the league right now. STIR THE SAUCE BY 10

 

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

TMA 39, Sticky Laces 10

Blitzkrieg 33, Sausage McMuffins 22

Balls Deep 36, Dogg Pound 6

Purple Nurples 51, Day By Day 32

 

TMA is on the board! TMA gets a win over the Sticky Laces, and they’re starting to look like TMA once again. Blitzkrieg wins the battle of top D6 teams over the McMuffins to take control of the division. Balls Deep easily handled Dogg Pound, and the Purple Nurples finally put it all together, pulling off a slight upset of Day By Day. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

TMA vs Dogg Pound (+6) - TMA got back on the horse last week, and now they’re looking to win two in a row against a Dogg Pound team still finding its way. The veteran TMA squad should have no real issues in this one, provided they all show up. I’ll assume Brent gets two touchdowns in this one. TMA BY 14

 

Blitzkrieg vs Day By Day (+7) - Day By Day continues to play well, even despite the loss last week, and they have an outside shot to give BK a run at the title. Fall Blitzkrieg has looked very good, but we’ve seen this before out of them, and as long as they don’t stumble down the stretch, things will look good for them to finally capture D6. This is a measuring stick game for Day By Day, and it’ll tell them this: They’re close, but not quite there yet. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Balls Deep (+3) - The McMuffins suffered a blow last week, but that doesn’t mean they’re down for the count. They still have loads of talent, and they’re facing a Balls Deep squad that so desperately wants to be mentioned as a true D6 title contender instead of “just on the outside”. Their offense seems to be improving, but we need to see them score against a top team before taking them too seriously. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 9

 

Purple Nurples vs Sticky Laces (+3) - Sticky Laces got their first loss of the season last week, while the Nurps got their first win. This game is going to be all about if the Laces can keep up with the Nurps in scoring, and while the Nurps’ D tends to allow that, I’m not sure the Laces’ Offense will take advantage. PURPLE NURPLES BY 11

 

Day By Day vs Dogg Pound (+12) - Day By Day is a team that is trending up, Dogg Pound is a team that needs to figure stuff out. Not much more to say about this one. DAY BY DAY BY 16

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• What is Dog Day? What can I expect? The Buffalo Animal Shelter will be at the fields from 12pm-2pm with a bunch of adorable, adoptable dogs (and cats!) who you can pet, play with, and even adopt yourself! We had a few animals find homes last year when we did this event, hopefully we can help some more! Also, since next week is “reduced adoption week” at the shelter, anyone who puts in an application at the fields will get half off of the adoption fee! 

 

 

 

• What teams seem to be taking a leap forward this season? Can you say the Wet Bandits? They’re playing better than they have been. Stir The Sauce is very much on that list, as is Day By Day, the Powerpuff Girls, The Herd, Frodo Swaggins, and Buffalo Vice too. 

 

 

 

• What happens to D3 now that the Straw Hats folded? Jeff Krol told me that it becomes a 9 team division, and the 8-9 seeds will play in the “first round play-in game” like D3 had last season. Everyone Straw Hats didn’t play will get the 21-0 forfeit win, while the games they already played will stand. 

 

 

 

• D1 and D2 are definitely going to combine, right? I was convinced they were going to for this season, and it didn’t happen, but now with how competitive D2 has been with D1 AGAIN this season, it’s going to be hard not to do it. This has been the most fun a D1 season has been in ages. 

• Can you name three of the best teams nobody is talking about? Oh that’s easy, it’s very clearly Scared Hitless as I pointed out earlier. After that, Buffalo Vice is scoring the way they did in D4, and it's only a matter of time before they get a few more wins. The Creekers are 0-2 and are out of sight, out of mind for many TSLers. But let’s not forget just how good they’ve been the last few seasons. We could blink and they’ll be 4-2 in a few weeks and nobody would be surprised. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Steph is going to win the Breakfast Club championship, again. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• Dri Girls 1 Cup 33, Syd On My Face 18

• D’s Nutz 27, Carlyac Arrest 22

• Steph Infection 40, All Ryled Up 24

 

 

 

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Day By Day

• 11:00 - Scared Hitless vs Sticky Bandits

• 12:00 - Mix’n It Up vs Wanderers

• 1:00 - The Malones vs Frodo Swaggins

• 2:00 - Practice Squad vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd

• 3:00 - Stir The Sauce vs Two Tuddies

 

 

 

• It’s a big week for many teams, but the Two Tuddies have two huge games against GUCCI and Stir The Sauce that will really show if they’re contenders or not. 

 

 

 

• Really kind of waiting to see the Can’t Touch This vs The Malones game that will happen later in the year at some point.

 

 

 

• After there was a bit of a lightning and pouring rain scenario that delayed the games last week, you’re looking at a beautiful 84 degree, sunny day. Perfect weather, wear your sunscreen. 

 

 

 

• Remember, you can NOT just pick up random subs at the fields on game day. Subs must be requested by 3pm on Friday. 

 

 

 

• There’s a lot of exciting new talent in the TSL that’s really coming into their own the last few seasons, the future of the league just feels bright. 

 

 

 

• As always, keep emailing me about the state of your teams and who to give shout outs to! This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. is where you need to send your emails! 

 

 

 

• Please continue treating the refs with respect and not screaming at them for making a potential mistake, and also good work on keeping the fields cleaned up, that’s been a big issue in the past. Good work TSL! 

 

 

-GF OUT

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