Week 2 Review

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Details: Written by Jeff Krol; Category: The Sentinel; Published: 02 May 2023; Created: 02 May 2023; Hits: 1537

Week 2 is already in the books, and the TSL universe managed to dodge the rain for most of the day. Breakfast club seemed to be the only slot of games to have to deal with it, while the rest of the day turned out to be quite pleasant. The fields were filled with action-packed games all day. A lot of cheering, yelling, and touchdowns were scored, so let's get into the action!

Breakfast club

Komosexuals 38, Ash Slinging Slashers 32

What a start to the day with this matchup going right down to the wire! Langley was throwing for Ash Slinging Slashers, and got down early but bounced back in the second half and utilized his girls well. Garrett struggled a bit to make some completions late, but his patented trick plays worked in the end as Brian O shifted to throw the final hail mary, and the ball got batted up into Andrew Kicak’s hands. If you are surprised that he actually caught it, you’re not alone!

Losing Streak 48, Scared Hitless 12

Another week, another Losing Streak win. Jordan Lawson looks dialed in and his weapons did not disappoint. The name many don’t know, but will soon enough is Kye. SH was not able to stop LS at all, and the score shows it. Robin was phenomenal in coverage all day, and Crystal was getting after Dylan Day as the rusher. LS was able to hold SH to 12 points even without ace defender Ralph Finney, so that bodes well for their outlook.

Sticky Bandits 29, Legends 22

A tight matchup as expected, Joey Batts marched the Legends offense down the field time and time again, utilizing Heather and Taylor very well. Sean was dominant as always even while nursing a pretty solid hangover. Joey uncharacteristically threw a pick to lightning quick Kevin Zack and again on the goal line to Andy Kicak (again, we are all surprised he actually held on to the ball, to make one of the TSL's best plays of the day). Adrian Cannon showed his speed, catching a deep post route from Mike Thomas, and the Sticky Bandits held firm on their last defensive stand to secure the win.

Mavericks 40, Freeballers 25

Mavericks is basically Losing Streaks’ AAA team, and they look like a force in D2. Big Money Mike was making spectacular plays all day, catching two very tough passes in the back corner of the endzone. Keep an eye out for this guy, he is also one of the funniest guys out there! Jordan was missing Ant Cordova, but it didn’t matter. Freeballers spent a lot of time frustrated and yelling at each other. Dylan Jaloza threw the ball well, but there seemed to be a lot of miscommunication on offense. Defensively, a lot of breakdowns which fueled even more frustration. A surprising result, considering they have George and Adrian out there.

Untouchaballs 28, Practice Squad 23

The usually sure-handed Untouchaballs guys had a lot of drops out of the gate as Burr struggled early, but the team was locked in and looking in mid-season form already by the second half. Practice Squad's star girls Renee and Ashtin both made big plays offensively and defensively, but Mel (playing knight in shining armor by choosing her D2 team over her D1 team) was her usual fantastic self as she battled with Ashtin all game. Practice Squad had a few miscues with their play calling, but remember, this is a team that started slowly last season before winning it all in the playoffs.

Bullet Club 37, Vaspian 12

Vaspian made the move to D3 after adding Drew Colisimo, but he wasn’t there this week and it showed. A lot of turnovers by Vaspian set up BC with short field. BC was missing Pistol Pete and Langley, but that clearly didn’t matter. Jeff Easton is throwing the ball like he’s 25 again, can somebody get his secret to the fountain of youth? Joe K had a pick, so that tells you all you need to know on how things went for Vaspian. Don’t let Joe brag though, the ball went through the hands of a receiver and into his hands, so he didn’t have to work very hard for it.

Jabronies 43, Can’t Touch this 28

No yelling from Eric Kleckler this week! Joe Miano was in complete command all game, making every throw needed to move the offense down the field. Word on the street is Bro Kleckler might even be a better receiver than he is a QB, and that is saying something! CTT got off to a very strong start, scoring on the first few drives but it dried up from there. Jabronies really locked it down in coverage. CTT has this short but very fast girl who seems to catch everything. She was all over the place. Jabronies are back, and look pretty good.

Passing While Intoxicated 41, BAADies 36

BAADies got up early and looked like they were in cruise control, until they weren’t. Garrett has perhaps the best group of ladies assembled, he just needs to make the throws! Credit to Buddy Lee, Colorado Mike and their squad, they got a statement win in their first week against a very tough opponent! Maybe they were able to do this because Buddy only had 5 high noons before this game instead of the usual 10? He made some great throws and kept complete composure to lead his team to the big comeback win!

Buffalo Vice 48, Cunning Stunts 26

Buffalo Vice continues to look like a team poised to win a championship this session, as they stomped the Stunts for a three score win. #4 on Vice is a phenomenal athlete who higher divisions will be attempting to poach soon, and they had one 7'5" athlete (may be exaggerating a bit) who towered over Joey and the girls for a red zone jump ball. The Stunts are still debatably the best collection of female talent in the League, but they had some uncharacteristic drops and only scored three times.

Long Balls 35, Goatsack! 28

Buddy Lee stepped in at QB for Long Balls, and clearly doesn’t have arm issues throwing 3 times in one day (although he was heckled by his own team at one point for throwing a pick). Goatsack moved the ball down the field with ease, utilizing the girls. They have a ton of height on their team, and it was an advantage. They may have lost, but I think some wins are coming their way soon.

Not So Sticky 15, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 14

What a barnburner! The halftime score was a whopping 6-6 as neither team seemed very interested in scoring points and not turning the ball over. Both qb’s here threw a handful of picks, but Carly Reeb came down with what ultimately was the game-winning conversion from Rags. Mike Thomas showed off his deceptive blazing speed, burning past ILF defenders and making them look like fools. The highlight of the day: Jeff Krol (yes, that Jeff Krol) managed to pick Andy Kicak off, flip him the bird and demand his resignation from Sticky Bandits. Andy has never been so devastated.

Back that pass up 34, Sausage McMuffins 38

Welcome back Jeff May! The wily vet moved BTPU down the field with precision and helped guide a lot of new players to their highest scoring output thus far. SM has a lot of athletes and speed, and have been awesome coming to the bar after. Maybe I will meet some of these ladies and gents? They seem to have a good shot in D6 this session. BTPU looks like as they grow, they will continue to improve and wins will come.

Balls Deep 35, Pit Harade 23

Balls Deep rushed Baby Gronk to put pressure on Pit Harade QB Nick Hawes which resulted in several missed passes. Pig Harade has a budding star in "Tall Bearded Guy" and their ladies seem very capable on both sides of the ball. Payton Spinelli consistently found himself open down the middle of the field and torched the Pit defense, sending his former "Spinelli's Plumbing" QB to defeat

That’s it for week 2! Let’s hope the weather continues to cooperate next week. I will be watching with intent, so go make some plays!