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Usually, here at The Sentinel, we like to tell you The Good, The Bad, and The Gossip that we see and hear throughout the league. However, that is not great for our mental health, so we are trying to find the good in the weekend. The Weather was Sunny!! The NFL comes back in a week!! We had no fights or ambulances called to the fields!! So this week rather than reading about any blunders, you, the reader, are going to just get just the Brilliant Portion of the League!!

Brilliant

• Regular Season B plays defense and has a game sealing interception! Picture it, a Hail Mary play, Right Front Corner, B hops up and it looked like the ball was meant to go to his hands. 

• Andy Strug of the Malones came in hot against the reigning D1 Champions. In the first half of the game, he scores with one of his girls on a streak up the middle and the Male Receivers showed how athletic they can be. Deep Ball, Jump Ball, Tipped ball, Blocked ball, it didn’t matter, they were going to catch everything and they did. The Malones lost by 7 in their first game and Dominated Grey Hair 52-14 in their second game. Picture it, at the 5 yard line, Andy scrambles to his right, throws the ball, it gets tipped away by a defender and still ends up in a receivers hand. Call it luck, call it skill, we call it winning. 

• Many TSLers step up when Refs couldn’t or didn’t show up to their assignment! Great on the group, we can only blame the Ref Schedule Maker. Picture it, an unnamed ref was scheduled to ref all day, no show, League officials are sweating profusely, thinking about Blase reffing all of these games…. Fortunately, many people stepped up.

• GUCCI and Mix’n It Up are wisely taking their bye weeks at the start of the season to avoid injury and shed that summer weight. Picture it, Kelly Kane strolling up to the fields, shoulder in perfect condition, walks past Topper in yet another shoulder sling, throws 5 perfect TD passes in one game because she knew the value of rest. 

• The Bar passes out Oktoberfest Hats, they are an instant hit! Anyone who is anyone got one. Picture it, purchase a drink and you get to wear a Navy Blue Hat with White and Orange Feathers in it All Day!!!

• Mary Kate and Becca Olsen both jive with new Big Daddy Jason QB Buddy Lee, by scoring 3 touchdowns each! Picture this, out and ups, one yard turn around Becca ¨catching a ball¨ with the assistance of a Herd Defender in the endzone. 

• Girls Rule the World Part One!! Courtney, Brittany, and Kira all have touchdowns in the Mavericks versus Can’t Touch This game. Mavericks may be known for having a high powered offense and D1 Caliber guys in D2, but their girls were the ones causing the score counter to keep on flipping and the ones responsible for their good vibes attitude toward the Fall Season. Picture it, ladies in pink scoring in all sorts of ways, deep balls, crowded red zone plays, and after each touchdown Mike celebrating, cheering, and giving everyone a high five.

• Does everyone remember the “Chris Nelson is too good for his division award?” Malikye of Select, is also a phenomenal athlete that we expect to be poached to a higher division in the future, we are looking at you Travis. Picture it, Malikye torches multiple defenders, not once, twice, but for four touchdowns! He is shifty, dynamic, and can catch nearly anything. The first play of his game, he turns a simple 7 yard curl with one spin move into a touchdown.

• Breakfast Club!! Everyone who showed up for the first week of Breakfast Club was greeted with gifts!! Glasses, Cups, Free Water! This year’s captains are showering their teammates with positivity, sunshine, and joy!! The Rain didn’t ruin anyone’s time, especially since it ended before 10 am. Picture it, you register for Breakfast Club, you begrudgingly give Jeff Krol 50 dollars and weeks later you are in a group chat with 9 or 10 strangers. You show up to a NINE AM football game, you win, you lose, but later when you are hanging out, walking the fields, you know people, cool people!! You have made some bonds, not just for one season, but forever. 

• Girls Rule the World Part Two!! Bullet Club’s Kelsey Harrigan and Ashley Bower have a dominant day in both Breakfast Club and Bullet Club’s Game against the Jabronies. Both girls recorded touchdowns that on-lookers said “WOW, that was incredible.” An anonymous captain has already stated that Kelsey is going to be Breakfast Club MVP, (There is an award for that, right?) and it's only week one! Picture it, Kelsey shows up to the TSL Banquet, in a matching dress to the rest of her team, black and gray, what every girl wants to wear on a night out, gets her name called up, handed a trophy, a gift certificate to chili’s. 

• The Sticky Bandits were the first team to defeat Malones in the year 2024 at the Rose Garden fields and it can all be attributed to Beardless Drew Colosimo. He’s not quicker, he’s not more attractive, he’s just beardless and it takes awhile to get used to. The Malones must have forgotten that they ever played against him, with Topper, since it looked like there was no scouting report on him. Picture it, Beardless Drew runs the back line and catches the ball! Also Picture This, Beardless Drew, while playing defense drops back on a deep play and leaps into the air, as if he is unbound by facial hair and snags an interception that changes the tides of the Sticky Game. 

• Did you know that TSL has a minor league in Ohio?? Grey Hair, Don’t Care called up Jordan Neidig from their AAA team “Bald Hair, Does Care” In Jordan’s debut for the Fall Season, he paired up well with Nick Voss in the red zone. (Nick Voss is a monster on that front line, we think there were two touchdowns for him there). Jordan ended the game with an interception and was immediately sent to the McConnell residence to clean a pool. Picture it, coming all the way from Ohio to play some football, then being ordered to clean a D1 champions pool for hours on end… It is not fun being the new guy. 

• In the Battle of the Beards, Pit Harade challenged Not So Sticky, after a loss to Stir the Sauce. While Pit Harade did not achieve victory, Mike Malichi did make Mike Thomas look like he was three feet tall, high pointing over him. Picture it, the ball sails through the air, Mike Malicki jumps as if he is MJ in the movie Space Jam, he reaches and secures the ball, the MonStar Mike Thomas hugging and tugging at his waist trying to prevent the score. 

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