• Print
• Email

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  If you've read our article in the past (if for no other reason than to complain about how wrong we are) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top QBs in the League, and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down.  We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather and the Sentinel if you want better writing) so we typically lean heavily on graphs and stats instead... at least, we do after a few weeks, when there's significant enough data to bother sharing.  In our season opening articles we also make a few predictions for the session and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from previous articles.

So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:

“There are fifty teams in the TSL this season!  Are you going to show rankings for all 50 starting QB’s every week?”

Not even close.  At minimum, the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week.  We always expand as the season goes on, so you'll see a Top 15, Top 20... last season we got to a Top 40, which was two thirds of the League, so we do try to be inclusive.

“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”

In a word: yes.  The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the absolute best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best.  We will absolutely be acknowledging the performances (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well, but it's rare that a lower division QB will crack the Top Ten or Fifteen, and that's the way it should be.  Generally speaking if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session.  The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.

"Are gender team QBs treated differently in the Rankings?"

Not really.  A team's a team, and although gender team scores tend to be a little higher (every TD = minimum 8 points) we don't see much difference.  It takes skill to win with men; it takes skill to win with women.  The biggest knock on gender teams is that they tend to play in lower divisions and as we said above, we do factor THAT into our rankings.

"How are you ranking backup QBs if they come in and play better than some other team's starter?"

Generally we're only ranking one QB per team, even if you've got a player on your bench that you think could be a successful starter elsewhere.  And for teams with unreliable QBs who don't show up often enough for us to even KNOW who the starter is, we often leave them out of our rankings entirely... as they say, the best "ability" is "availability".  If you want to get ranked, show up and play as often as you can.  

"I'm new to this League and people don't know me yet!  How do I get ranked when I'm still an unknown?"

For starters, you should play really well.  If you're scoring a lot of points, we WILL notice you.  There are several new teams this session, so we probably DON'T know who you all are yet.  Email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to introduce yourself, and please, be patient.  If you're the highest scoring team in the League in Week 2, that doesn't mean we're anointing you as the next Chris Cole just yet.  Keep at it, play well, and we promise eventually we will recognize you.  It took us a minute to figure out Losing Streak, Passed Our Prime and Puckett All-Stars last season... but we got there eventually.

“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”

Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you.  In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best receivers, best at bar …  ranking anything is always fun.  Unless we rank you last, of course.

“You keep saying ‘we’.  Who is writing this?  Who determines these rankings?”

Don’t worry about who’s writing this.  Let’s be honest: If you knew who was on our Committee (there's a few of us), you would incessantly whine to them about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week.  Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.  

And that's how the Power Rankings work.  We expect it's going to be an incredible season, with fifty teams battling for TSL supremacy.  Our official predictions for this year (with the benefit of one week already being in the books, of course): 

§  Chris Cole goes undefeated in the regular season and reclaims the top spot in the Power Rankings

§  Passed Our Prime will be the highest scoring team in the TSL this season across all divisions

§  Breast Friends will be the highest scoring gender team in the TSL, and win exactly zero games by forfeit this season

§  TSL Legend Darryl Carr finishes the season with a higher rank than TSL Legend Topper

§  A QB we've never heard of will finish the season in the Top 15

§  Dave Eickhoff, ranked 26th at the end of last season, will make his return to the Top Ten at some point this season

But what do we know?  We went 3-for-6 on last year's predictions:

§  AWDIQ legend Vince Taverna drops out of the Top Ten as he has to contend with 16 D1 and D2 QBs playing in divisions above him.  [We were right about this one as Vince plummeted to 24th in our Rankings by end of the season... but the joke was on us as he went on to lead Quinn to their long awaited D3 championship in the playoffs]

§  Matty Ice and Dean Thompson will duke it out for the honor of highest ranked D2 QB, with... Matty getting the slight edge by end of the season? we think?  [Well, we were half right.  Matty got hurt and Travis played most of the regular season for A&A, so the D2 Power Rankings battle came down to Dean and Jordan Lawson.  We'll call this one a miss]

§  Dylan Jaloza will crack the Top Twenty by end of the season.  With all those weapons, how can he not?  [We were entirely right.  In fact, he made the Top Ten by end of the season]

§  A mid-season replacement will come out of nowhere to crack the Top Ten (think Bro Kleckler or Terrell Bolden last year).  [We were right again, as Travis Cleveanger moved from A&A backup to Top Ten QB]

§  Scotty Drosendahl, now playing in D2, will make the Top Ten early and often.  [Swing and a miss here.  We love Scotty and he got a huge upset win in the first round of playoffs last year, but the Top Ten eluded him for most of the season]

§  Topper will continue to be the hardest player to rank, flashing brilliance one week, just to look like a washed up shell of an athlete the next. [We thought this would be our easiest prediction, and yet somehow Topper was consistently good for most of the season against all odds]

So there you go.  Let's get to the first QB Power Rankings of the Fall 2021 Season.  They're going to look a little different this season with no Dean Thompson (we miss you already Peachy Platoon), no Matt Newman (hope to see you again some day Slytherin That End Zone) and Joey Batts no longer QBing a co-ed team (thank God we still get to review his work on Cunning Stunts though):

#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion - (Previous Rank #1)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

The reigning D1 Champ gets the week off to start the Fall 2021 season.  Remember when the knock on Bro last Spring was "yeah, he's doing great, but he'll never beat Public Enemy when it matters in the playoffs!"  Well, he did, and he's a very legitimate #1 right now regardless of how much talent you think his team has around him.

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown - (Previous Rank #2)

Last Week:  Beat Losing Streak 40-34

Bobby's back with plenty of new talent, and Eyes Downtown start the season off right with a W against the former D2 champs.  Bobby has never been ranked lower than fourth in our Power Rankings, and he's going to be in Championship contention right up to the last game(s) of the season, so get used to reading about him.

#3 Chris Cole - Public Enemy - (Previous Rank #3)

Last Week:  Beat Slob Kabombs 53-30

Should the TSL GOAT be ranked higher than #3?  Maybe; he did beat Bobby by a point in last season's Semi-finals matchup, and Public Enemy dropped 53 on poor Slob Kabombs to start this season.  But it's a long season, and Cole has plenty of time to make his push back to #1 before he wraps up his "Public Enemy Last Dance" documentary.  For more on his historical dominance, see our All-Time Standings chart below... his name comes up once or twice.

#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak - (Previous Rank #4)

Last Week:  Lost to Eyes Downtown 40-34

Losing Streak had previously held the longest WINNING streak in the League, but hey... D1 games are hard to win.  Jordan had a great debut (reportedly without all his weapons present) and nearly upset Eyes Downtown in his first game at WNY touch football's highest level.  Unlike last session though where Jordan didn't really have a path to passing the Big Three in our Power Rankings, he's going to get plenty of chances this season.  We'll see how it goes, but we think he'll be fine in D1.

#5 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits - (Previous Rank #7)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Mike moves up two spots in the Power Rankings this week despite a bye week, thanks to Dean Thompson taking the season off and Joey Batts no longer QBing a team above D4 (more on that later).  The Sticky Bandits were a bit of an afterthought in D1 last season for most people, but they almost shocked the world and came within just one point of making the D1 Finals.  We assume they'll take a step back this season after losing their best receiver, but we've been burned betting against Sticky Nation before.

#6 Matty "Ice" Ditullio - A&A - (Previous Rank N/R)

Last Week:  Beat The Notorious BNB 37-36, lost to Untouchaballs 45-32

Matty dropped off our Power Rankings last season as an injury forced him to miss significant time, but he's back this season and he's PROBABLY unhappy that we've started him at the #6 spot after his dramatic win against Notorious BNB (he's #1 among QBs outside of D1, for what it's worth).  A&A should be a force to be reckoned with this season, but we wonder if the Angels miss the days of D4 when they just steamrolled teams every week.  Either way, it's good for the League that they're competing up in D3 now where they belong.

#7 Alex Buchlis - The Notorious BNB - (Previous Rank #8)

Last Week:  Lost to A&A 37-36

The Notorious BNB look like a rebranded (and improved) Sloppy Seconds from last session, which makes them immediate contenders in D2.  Alex was his usual crafty self and nearly pulled off the "upset" of A&A (would that have been considered an upset?) in the closing seconds of their first game.  He didn't, so now he has to look up at Matty Ice in the Power Rankings this week.  Alex has won D2 before so we know HE'S capable.  Let's see if the rest of the Notorious BNB has it in them.

#8 Jeremy Olsen - Passed Our Prime - (Previous Rank #15)

Last Week:  Beat XTC 54-53

Jeremy Olsen isn't making his first appearance in the Top Ten just because he's the highest scoring QB in the League through one week (although he is).  This actually feels long overdue as the Passed Our Prime offense was fantastic last season, but the team was ultimately undone by weak attendance and atrocious defense.  The defense STILL doesn't look great through one game (tied for second worst in the League, ahead of only the team they just beat!) but they've matched their win total from last season already.  Olsen is legit.

#9 Brandt Dubey - XTC - (Previous Rank #13)

Last Week:  Lost to Passed Our Prime 54-53

When was the last time a team scored 53 points and lost? (Okay, it was only June 5th when A&A beat Passed Our Prime 57-56, but before THAT it was a long time ago!)  Dubey's got that XTC offense looking sharp right out of the gate.  Sure, 0-1 isn't how they'd hoped to start the season, but they've got athletes AND Battaglias (see what we did there?) and one of the League's most legendary QBs - that's a pretty good recipe to bounce back and have a great season.

#10 Dylan Jaloza - TopShot - (Previous Rank #10)

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 32-16

Dylan won games in D6.  He won them in D3.  He's won his first game in D2, and WITHOUT Chris Nelson.  Do we think TopShot will dominate this session like they did last Spring in D3?  No... we do not.  But we think they're viable contenders to win every game, and as always, that starts with the QB.  Dylan hit that "D3 glass ceiling" in our Power Rankings last session, but in D2 he's got way more room to shine with upcoming battles against the four QBs ranked directly above him.  Let's see what he can do.

So there's your Top Ten, but there are plenty of other QBs to keep your eye on this session (shown below in alphabetical order, not Power Rankings order):

Garrett Beesing had a breakout season at QB this past Spring and he's still undefeated this year with a VERY unsatisfying tie in Frodo's first game.  If we had to guess, we'd say Frodo Swaggins will be playing in the D3 finals in a couple months, as long as Garrett stays focused and (by his standards) not completely hung over.

Jeremy Burr can throw a football apparently!  The Untouchaballs looked great taking down The Angels in their first game of the year.  We hate to draw conclusions about new QBs after only one game (especially against a gender team, which although absurdly talented in this case, does tend to be easier to throw against) but Burr MIGHT be ready for his Power Rankings debut sooner rather than later... 

Dylan Day and Scared Hitless looked a LITTLE overwhelmed at times in their first season in D2 last session, but they also looked like world beaters against Bullet Club last week.  Yes, Melanie Linsmair helps, but their whole passing game looked fantastic, and Dylan is probably wondering why the #1 team in the D2 standings today has at least five D2 QBs ahead of him in the Power Rankings.  Life isn't fair, and neither are we.

Frank Laudico will not be the starting QB for new TSL team GUCCI we're told, but he did fill in for Kelly Kane while she was out this week (and yes, it's about time we had a full-time female QB in this League).  Normally a backup QB wouldn't be cause for mention in our article, but Frank has long been the QB of the GameOn D1 Champions "The Wanderers", so it felt noteworthy to have him throwing at the TSL fields this week.  Welcome to the TSL GUCCI!

Patrick "Topper" McGovern hasn't played a game yet this season, but he was shockingly competent last year (that's the most accurate way to phrase it, we're sorry).  Does he have another strong season in him, or is this going to be a "regression to the mean" type of year for him?  It's exhausting trying to keep up with the incredible highs and devastating lows of Topper's quarterbacking.

Seth Molisani has taken over for Andy Clark this session on Buffalo Vice in D4, AND he's throwing for the new D1 team Slob Kabombs who scored 30 points against Public Enemy in their debut this week.  It's not a question of if, but when will Seth crack the Top Ten this season?

So that's a look at where we stand after one week.  As always, we will expand coverage throughout the season to cover more and more QBs, but it's difficult when seemingly half the League hasn't played a game yet AND we're not even sure who's throwing for every team yet.  We'll get there.

**

For all you TSL history buffs out there that want to know QB Power Rankings data stretching back before the Top Ten chart shown above, here is the entire history of the Top Ten going back the past four seasons that we've been Power Ranking (season three being shortened by one week due to COVID issues):

UGLY chart... but thorough!

Chris Cole is the only QB to be ranked in the Top Ten every week since the Power Rankings began.  Yes, Joey Batts is also shown every week above, but his streak officially ended the first week of THIS session since he's no longer QBing a co-ed team above D4.  Bobby McConnell missed the beginning of the Spring 2019 season with an injury and wasn't ranked for four weeks, though he's been in the Top Four ever since.  Amazing how consistent some of the top guys have been.  They're league legends for a reason, folks.

And here's one more chart just for fun.  The table below shows cumulative points for the last four seasons for every QB who has EVER cracked the Top Ten.  Here's how it works: you get 10 points for a first place week, 1 point for a tenth place week, and zero points for not making the Top Ten at all that week.  Gives you a fairly accurate sense of who our top QBs have been over the past four seasons we think (obviously biased towards people that have been here the longest over that stretch):

And that's it for this week!  As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  you want to see those "Best Offense/Best Defense" graphics after one week while your team is still riding high after a freakishly good start?  you're looking at the All-Time Top Ten chart above and just now realizing it's bullshit that Darryl Carr has never cracked the list?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..    Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

What’s YOUR ranking?

• Prev
• Next