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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 08 September 2022
- Created: 08 September 2022
- Hits: 2255
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
This week we expand our coverage to the Top 15 QBs in the League (can you believe your team's QB STILL didn't make our list?), we introduce our first "way too early to matter" team scoring graph, and we give you your FINAL WARNING to write us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let us know who you think the Top Female Players in the League are, because we're publishing that list next week.
Enjoy!
#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat Passed Our Prime 39-33, beat Eyes Downtown 41-26 (Legends), beat Cobblestone 42-24 (Cunning Stunts)
Three wins, zero losses, one hundred twenty-two points scored for Joey Batts on Saturday. Legends and Stunts are a combined 7-0 to start the season, and Joey has not been lower than 2nd in our Power Rankings since... well, the day Travis built him a super-team.
#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for Sticky Bandits this past week, but Mike will get a shot at the #1 and #3 ranked QBs in a doubleheader next week that could have a huge impact on the D1 race for the #1 seed (and first round bye).
#3 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion
Last Week: Did Not Play
Bro moves up a spot without taking a snap this week! This guy just makes it look too easy.
#4 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Lost to Legends 41-26, beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 48-23
Eyes Downtown easily handled Grey Hair - Don't Care before falling to the reigning D1 champs. Bobby is 1-2 and sitting in 5th place in the standings right now... but does anyone think that's going to last? E.D. started 0-2 last session before they ripped off a huge winning streak. The schedule has to get easier from here on out, and we'd be shocked if this team finishes under .500.
#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins
Last Week: Beat Untouchaballs 24-22, beat Freeballers 31-20
Missing his best receiver, Garrett went out and beat one of the best teams in his division, as Frodo avenged last season's finals loss to Untouchaballs before handling Freeballers. Who are the contenders in D2 right now? With the possible exception of 0-1 No Punt Intended (who haven't even played a game against their own division yet) Frodo has now played and beaten all their strongest rivals.
#6 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime
Last Week: Lost to Legends 39-33, lost to Scared Hitless 44-33
People questioned whether Passed Our Prime would even be able to field a competitive team without Sean and Kyle after moving up to D1 this session... and Hogan responded by nearly beating the D1 champs in the biggest game in his team's history. Sure, they seemed to lose a little steam later in the day losing again to Scared Hitless, but no one in D1 can be approaching this team thinking it's an easy win anymore.
#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Beat the Replacements 38-12, lost to Frodo Swaggins 24-22
What was the last Untouchaballs loss? Freeballers back in D3 last session, right? Seems shocking to see them lose, even to a team as hot as Frodo Swaggins is right now, but after beating the Replacements they're still one of only two teams in D2 to boast a winning record right now. Burr will be alright.
#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Beat Passed Our Prime 44-33, beat No Punt Intended 57-48
This was the bounce back week that Dylan needed after Scared Hitless went 0-2 to start their first D1 campaign. 101 points scored and two wins on Saturday puts Hitless smack in the middle of the D1 standings right now. Yes, one of those was a nine-point win against a team from a lower division playing its first game in years, but a win's a win.
#9 Brandt Dubey - DILFS
Last Week: Did Not Play
No Dubey, no difference this week for the DILFS. We THINK they're 1-1 with their starting QB and 1-1 with their backup QB. As the ONLY returning team in D2 this session we assumed they'd be heavy favorites, but are they already falling behind some of their newer rivals?
#10 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 48-23
Grey Hair has now lost to all of last season's "big three" teams in D1. If they're going to improve on that 1-4 record, they're going to have to do it against the bottom half of their division (or, luckily for them, against a crossover D2 team which is their schedule for next week).
#11 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers / 716
Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 31-20, beat DILFS 39-20 (Freeballers)
Does Dylan QB both Freeballers and 716 now? We're not sure. We ARE pretty sure he played both Freeballers games this past week and split the doubleheader to keep his team in the hunt for decent playoff seeding. 1-2 doesn't sound great, but one of those losses is to D1 Legends in the worst possible crossover game, and one of them is to Frodo who are killing just about everyone this season. We think Freeballers will finish with a winning record.
#12 Scott Drosendahl - Scott Seniors Starting
Last Week: Did Not Play
These guys haven't played since Week One! Scotty, come back and do something so we have something to write about.
#13 Kyle Conniff - No Punt Intended
Last Week: Lost to Scared Hitless 57-48
No Punt Intended FINALLY played a game in Week Three of the season, and of course the schedule matched them up with Scared Hitless in a D1 crossover game. What did we learn? Kyle's offense already looks fantastic. His defense... needs some work. But if a 9-point loss to a D1 team is how No Punt Intended STARTS the season, the sky's the limit for how they can finish it after some more time to gel together.
#14 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Lost to Bullet Club 35-17
B, what's going on here? You guys destroyed D4 last session, moved up a division and beat Mountain Dew Me in the Rematch of the Century... and since then you've gone 0-2-1. This isn't the Practice Squad we're used to. Believe it or not this is still the team we'd give the best betting odds to win D3, but they have GOT to start showing that soon.
#15 Seth Molisani - Buffalo Vice Retro
Last Week: Lost to DILFS 33-20
Buffalo Vice Retro is 0-2 and averaging less than 20 PPG. Wasn't Vice historically known for its explosive offense? Look, we get it, D2 is stacked with great teams this session (and also the Replacements are there) but Seth's going to have to figure something out with his receivers to pick up some wins.
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We've said many times in this article over the past couple weeks that we didn't want to show team performance charts yet because it's WAY too early in the season for that stuff to have any meaning (No Punt Intended has only played a single game!). And that's still true. But screw it, here's a "way too early to mean anything" chart for you on each team's points per game (sorted by division). Like last season, we included the Super Bowl era Buffalo Bills at the bottom as a comparison so you can see how much better (or worse) you are. As always, forfeit games are excluded from the numbers below.
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NEXT WEEK we kick off our Non-QB rankings with the Best Female Players in the League. This always generates a decent amount of controversy, as people ALWAYS disagree with the rankings and think that their girls got shafted... and yet they rarely write in to advocate for the girls they think are better. Don't make that mistake!! Email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and TELL US who you think the best girls in the League are. Or don't, and live with our shitty opinions.
- September 15: Best Female Players in the League
- September 22: Best at Bar (Individuals, Not Teams)
- September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
- October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced
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That's it for this week! As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher? Woodpeckers can't REALLY be averaging 9 points a game, can they? there's a new girl who has caught three passes on your team and you're worried she won't get mentioned in our Female Players rankings?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!
What’s YOUR ranking?
