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Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  If you've read our article in the past (if for no other reason than to complain about how wrong we are) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top QBs in the League and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down.  We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather if you want better writing) so we typically lean heavily on graphs and stats instead... at least, we do after a few weeks, when there's significant enough data to bother sharing.  In our season opening articles we also make a few predictions for the session and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from previous articles.
 
So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:
 
“There are 52 teams in the TSL this season!  Are you going to show rankings for all 52 starting QB’s every week?”
Not even close.  At minimum, the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week.  We always expand as the season goes on, so you'll see a Top 15, Top 20... last season we got to a Top 25, so we do try to be inclusive.
 
“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”
In a word: yes.  The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the absolute best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best.  We will absolutely be acknowledging the performances (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well, but it's rare that a lower division QB will crack the Top Ten or Fifteen, and that's the way it should be.  Generally speaking if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session.  The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.
 
"Are gender team QBs treated differently in the Rankings?"
Not really.  A team's a team, and although gender team scores tend to be a little higher (every TD = minimum 8 points) we don't see much difference.  It takes skill to win with men; it takes skill to win with women.  The biggest knock on gender teams is that they tend to play in lower divisions and as we said above, we do factor THAT into our rankings.
 
"How are you ranking backup QBs if they come in and play better than some other team's starter?"
Generally we're only ranking one QB per team, even if you've got a player on your bench that you think could be a successful starter elsewhere.  And for teams with unreliable QBs who don't show up often enough for us to even KNOW who the starter is, we often leave them out of our rankings entirely... as they say, the best "ability" is "availability".  If you want to get ranked, show up and play as often as you can.  
 
"I'm new to this League and people don't know me yet!  How do I get ranked when I'm still an unknown?"
For starters, you should play really well.  If you're scoring a lot of points, we WILL notice you.  There are several new teams this session, so we probably DON'T know who you all are yet.  We no longer have our own email address due to some legal restructuring stuff, so if you want to tell us about your QB, why not email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and introduce yourself?  And please, please be patient.  If you're the highest scoring team in the League in Week 2, that doesn't mean we're anointing you as the next Bobby McConnell just yet.  Keep at it, play well, and we promise eventually we will recognize you.
 
"What about Breakfast Club QBs?"
Breakfast Club is for fun, not crushing your opponents, so if you're running up the score to try to get noticed... well, that only makes you an asshole!  We don't put a lot of stock in the stats from Breakfast Club and don't factor that into our Rankings.
 
“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”
Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you.  In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best male receivers, best female receivers, best at bar …  ranking anything is always fun.  Unless we rank you last, of course.  
 
“You keep saying ‘we’.  Who is writing this?  Who determines these rankings?”
Don’t worry about who’s writing this.  Let’s be honest: If you knew who was on our Committee (there's a few of us), you would incessantly whine to them about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week.  Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.  
 
And that's how the Power Rankings work.  We expect it's going to be an incredible season, with fifty-ish teams battling for TSL supremacy.  Our official predictions for this year (with the benefit of one week already being in the books, of course): 
  • Buffalo Vice will shock the world and win the D4 championship.  Why not??  It's their time!!
  • Last season the Replacements were the only winless team in the League.  This season, every team will be good enough to win at least ONE game.
  • Eyes Downtown end their recent championship drought and take home the D1 title.
  • Steph Infection does NOT three-peat as Breakfast Club Championship.  Give someone else a turn.
  • Joey Batts does NOT three-peat as the #1 ranked QB by our last Power Ranking of the year.  Please, God, give someone else a turn.
  • GrASS Eaters beat Southside in the D6 championship game.  Take that one to the bank.
 
But what do we know?  We went 2 out of 6 on last year's predictions:
  • None of our Spring 2022 Division Champions will repeat and win again this Fall.  Not the five that won and bravely moved up a division, and not Legends in D1. [Legends and Practice Squad both proved us VERY wrong on this one with Legends repeating as D1 champs and Practice Squad going back to back on D3 and D2]
  • No "new" teams will finish with a winning record.  We're looking at you, No Punt Intended, Replacements, Get Shwifty, Let's Get Reccked, Superior Moser Squad and Punt Cakes.  [We were close on this, with Replacements, Get Schwifty, Let's Get Reccked, and Punt Cakes combining for a 7-29 record.  New teams did NOT fare well.  But Superior Moser Squad finished 5-4, and No Punt Intended went 7-2, so we can't call this one a correct prediction either]
  • Tight Ends in Motion rebounds from last season's terrible record to finish as one of the top three seeds in D1. [Nailed this one, as TEIM rebounded to finish as the #2 seed in D1... where they promptly got eliminated by Scared Hitless in the first round.  But our prediction was about their seeding, and we crushed this]
  • No team has finished undefeated in at LEAST six seasons... and we predict the trend holds up for a seventh.  Expect every team to lose at least one game this session. [Another point for us.  For the SEVENTH season in a row, no one finished undefeated.  Legends, Frodo Swaggins and Not So Sticky came the closest, but each lost one game]
  • Can't Touch This, currently 0-2 as we write this, will make it to the D3 Championship game (we make no predictions whether they'll win or lose it). [Can't Touch This went 4-3 after that 0-2 start last season, so we were right to believe in them... but they got their asses kicked by Practice Squad in the semifinals and fell a game short of fulfilling our prediction]
  • TOX and Vaspian will be the only TSL teams not to make the playoffs this session. [TOX was terrible, but Vaspian finished 4-5 while Cobblestone was the only other team to miss the playoffs]
 
So there you go.  Let's get to the first QB Power Rankings of the Spring 2022 Season.  Most of our stars are back, although we have a few notable player movements:
  • Jordan Lawson is back after a year of killing everyone in GameOn, and has Losing Streak poised for redemption after a tough D1 debut back in 2021.  We won't see Victorious Secret this time around, but Jordan has brought a D2 team called the Mavericks with him this time that already looks ready to threaten for a D2 title.  
  • Frank Laudico has finally joined the TSL after years of winning championships over at GameOn.  The GOAT of the "other League" will adjust well to the faster pass rush in the TSL and the Wanderers will surely be a strong contender for the D3 championship this Spring.
  • Bro Kleckler is OUT as QB of Tight Ends in Motion (though he's playing in the League as a receiver for Jabronies?).  It'll be Andy Smigiera throwing for TEIM this season.  Andy is a world class athlete, but questions about his punctuality arose after being late to his first game of the season!
  • Jeremy Olson is out as Passed Our Prime are taking the session off while their QB1 recovers from surgery.  Word is we'll still see Hogan at the fields as a referee, though not an active athlete this Spring.
  • For those wondering why in the hell Let's Get Reccked made the jump to D3 after finishing 2-7 in D5 last session, the answer is a change at QB (and yes, the addition of Dave Baker as a receiver).  Ricky Recckio's team now has Alex Buchlis at QB instead of receiver, which is a major upgrade at the position.  Let's Get Reccked already has half as many wins as they did last session after only one week, so the switch seems to be working.
 
As always, we do NOT overreact to one week's worth of games in our first Power Rankings of the season.  Joey Batts didn't even play last week - you think we're going to remove him from #1 just for missing a game?  Not a chance.  You also won't see people like Frank or Alex at all this week because we need a larger sample size to see how some of these changes play out.  Sorry if you don't like it, but if people are good enough, their stock will rise quickly and we'll get them Ranked over the next few weeks.  
 
Of course the real #1 QB THIS week was unquestionably Travis Cleavenger who scored 104 points while going 3-0 for Legends and No Punt Intended, but as a backup QB he's not really eligible for our Rankings.  So here are your Top Ten starting QBs in the TSL:
 
 
#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week:  Did Not Play
How valuable are you really if your team scores 45 points and wins by 30+ when you're not even there?  Look... he's the two-time defending D1 champions' starting QB, and the Stunts (who haven't played yet) are pretty awesome too.  That's his argument for being #1 right now.
 
#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week:  Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 27-20
Eyes Downtown are the fourth highest scoring team in D1 after one week, and somehow the #1 seed as well.  Yeah, "strength of schedule" tiebreakers are weird.  Bobby is as consistently excellent as anyone we've ever seen, and we're sure he'll obliterate some teams soon to get that scoring average up.  Bobby goes up one spot in the Rankings with Bro's "retirement".
 
#3 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 37-0
You would think blanking a team 37-0 AND beating the QB directly ahead of you in the Power Rankings for a Winter championship would be enough to vault you into the #2 spot at least, but apparently not.  Sticky Bandits are rolling lately and Mike looks as good as any QB out there right now.
 
#4 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 40-10, lost to Eyes Downtown 27-20
Beating Eyes Downtown would have been a hell of a statement game for Grey Hair - Don't Care.  They fell a BIT short in the end, but annihilating Frodo Swaggins is probably a decent consolation prize.  People really aren't discussing Grey Hair in the "D1 contenders" conversation, but maybe they should be.  Eickhoff leads a fantastic group of receivers who are a threat to knock anyone off on any given Saturday.
 
#5 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week:  Beat Tight Ends in Motion 22-8 (Losing Streak), lost to No Punt Intended 27-26 (Mavericks)
If you read our annual intro to this article above, we say "the best are competing AGAINST the best", and Jordan is truly competing against the best again after a year of smoking non-TSL teams by 50 points.  Early returns look good!  Losing Streak badly outclassed TEIM, and Mavericks ran up a 26-0 lead before things went haywire.  We wouldn't read much into the relatively low scoring games - in decent weather these teams will be dropping 40+ in no time.
 
#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week:  Lost to Legends 45-14, lost to Grey Hair - Don't Care 40-10 (Frodo Swaggins), lost to Buffalo Vice 38-33 (BAADies)
Garrett lost exactly one game last season with Frodo Swaggins... and then doubled that on Day One of this season with an 0-2 start.  D1's a bitch, huh?  Frodo will be fine once they get over the learning curve.  We doubt they'll contend for a championship this season, but BAADies might.  Yes, there are a few Angels on this squad, but it's still a new team and they'll need time to gel together.  By end of this season, BAADies will be the team no one wants to play against in D4.  
 
#7 Kyle Conniff - No Punt Intended
Last Week:  Did Not Play
Man, No Punt Intended has some great backup QBing.  If they're already the top team in their division after one week, imagine how good they can be when their starting QB shows up?
 
#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 37-0
Yikes!  Not the start that Scared Hitless had in mind this season.  Losing Mel was tough, but they should be good enough to score a point without her.  Let's assume this was just Dylan and team shaking off the rust after taking the winter off.  If Scared Hitless continues to struggle like this, Dylan may be at risk of falling outside the Top Ten.
 
#9 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 21-15, lost to No Punt Intended 32-31
Burr put up 31 points in a losing effort when the sun was out, then held on for a 21-15 win when the weather turned to shit in the 11 o clock hour.  D2 is going to be a tight race, but Untouchaballs aren't off to a bad start here as they're one two point conversion play away from being alone in first place.
 
#10 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club
Last Week:  Beat Wanderers 38-34, beat Can't Touch This 42-37
After a long and storied football career, Jeff Easton finally cracks the Top Ten Best QBs in Western New York.  Beating Can't Touch This is no easy feat, and how many active QBs can say they've beaten the Wanderers?  A half a dozen maybe?  Bullet Club is currently second to only Legends in the TSL in offensive points per game at 40 PPG.  They're the team to beat in D3 right now... barely.
 
 
Fancy Statistics Section
Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)
 
 
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  
 
What's YOUR ranking?
 
 
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