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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 04 May 2023
- Created: 04 May 2023
- Hits: 1475
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
Week Two is officially in the books. Stars were born, legends were toppled (that wasn't meant as a dig at Joey, but if the shoe fits...) and great football games were played. Let's get right to it:
#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Beat Legends 29-22
To be the man, you've gotta beat the man, and Thomas has beaten the (formerly) #1 and #2 ranked QBs in two of his last three games. Easy choice for #1 this week as the Sticky Bandits keep their 2023 hot streak going. And this guy was a "Most Beloved Male" candidate at our Banquet last Fall too! Nice guys CAN finish first.
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 29-22 (Legends), lost to Buffalo Vice 48-26 (Cunning Stunts)
Legends and Cunning Stunts started a combined 10-0 last season. If we throw out the Legends game QBed by Travis in Week One, they're off to a combined 0-2 start this season. Joey will be the first to tell you though, no one gives a shit where you start, they only talk about where you finish.
#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 37-29
No, Eyes Downtown was nowhere near full strength this week, but losing to Frodo Swaggins was still unexpected for a team with D1 championship aspirations. You can bet your ass Bobby will be on the phone with his squad this week making sure he has better attendance.
#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 48-12 (Losing Streak), beat Freeballers 40-25 (Mavericks)
Losing Streak has the best record and most points scored in D1 after two weeks, though they still haven't played a team that has beaten anyone. His next three opponents just happen to be the three QBs ranked above him though, so his destiny is in his own hands for climbing the Power Rankings.
#5 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for Grey Hair - Don't Care this week. No sign of Eickhoff reffing either.
#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week: Beat Eyes Downtown 37-29 (Frodo Swaggins), lost to Passing While Intoxicated 41-36, lost to Puckett All-Stars 62-24 (BAADies)
We're going to skip right past those BAADies losses (where Garrett DID score 60 points along the way, which is by no means terrible) to talk about that Eyes Downtown win. Welcome to the big leagues Beesing! After starting in D3 maybe 4-5 years ago (?), Frodo finally won their first game in the highest division. We don't think they'll be hoisting the trophy this year, but maybe they ARE a threat to upset some teams along the way.
#7 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended
Last Week: Beat Freeballers 38-20
Looks like Travis is the permanent QB of this team now, not Kyle. No Punt Intended is the last undefeated team in D2, and Travis is 4-0 this season including his Legends backup duty. It's not going to happen, but... what would Legends record have to fall to before we would put Travis ahead of Joey in the Power Rankings?
#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 28-23
Untouchaballs were dominant last Spring in D3, then they had kind of a weird Fall with multiple forfeits and some close losses. It's still early, but it LOOKS like Burr has them back on track to being a top contender in D2 this season. It probably helps to have insane talent like Helm and Mel.
#9 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club
Last Week: Beat Vaspian 37-12
After a couple close games to start their season, Bullet Club got a relatively easy game this week against a Drew-less Vaspian. Yawn. Bullet Club takes the W and starts their season in style as the team to beat in D3. Remember when these guys were getting killed every session (in D2) with other QBs?
#10 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Lost to Losing Streak 48-12
Tough to sugarcoat this one, it has been a BRUTAL start to the season for Scared Hitless. They followed up a 37 point loss in Week One to the Sticky Bandits with... a 36 point loss to Losing Streak in Week Two. At the current rate, they'll be winning games again by Spring 2025. Both sides of the ball have been rough, but it's that 6.0 PPG on offense that's working against Dylan right now in our Power Rankings.
#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 39-38
The Wanderers have been good as advertised this season... on offense, where they're scoring 34.7 PPG (good for tenth best in the TSL). Unfortunately they're giving up as many points as they're scoring right now, which is putting all the pressure on Frank to keep up. So far they're just one "illegal formation" away from 3-0 though, so Frank doesn't seem to be crumbling under the spotlight.
#12 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers
Last Week: Lost to No Punt Intended 38-20, lost to Mavericks 40-25
We don't have the exact count, but based on eyewitness reports it seems like Dylan threw about seven interceptions between his two games last week. NOT so great. Freeballers have all kinds of athleticism on their roster but they'll need a focused Dylan if they want to make a run at the D2 championship.
#13 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Lost to Untouchaballs 28-23
The bad news: Practice Squad are currently in last place as the only winless team left in D2. The good news: they've lost each of their games by exactly 5 points, which means they're a tweak away from being undefeated in some parallel universe. If they win ANOTHER championship as the lowest seeded team, we're betting our life savings on them in D1 next Fall.
#14 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 39-38
Buchlis vs Laudico was a battle of two savvy vets who have each been playing the co-ed football game for over a decade now, and it showed. Let's Get Reccked lost the shootout by a single point, but with apologies to Itches and Ohs (we'll get to them in a second) it's looking like D3 could be a three way dance between Let's Get Reccked, Bullet Club and Wanderers.
#15 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs / GrASS Eaters
Last Week: Beat Degeneration SeXy 38-21
How dare we leave Itches and Ohs out of the D3 contenders conversation!? Itches started their season without the ever-dangerous Laura Streeter and still pulled off a 17 point win over Degeneration Sexy. Steve Moser is not going to accept "afterthought" status in the D3 race this season, and may be the early favorite to win D6 as well with GrASS Eaters.
Fancy Statistics Section
Look: You're STILL not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it). But... we do want to show you one "way too early to matter" graphic right now. This is the chart of every team's offensive points per game after two weeks. We're intentionally not labeling every team, because that's not the point. The POINT is to take a look at how much Puckett All-Stars are crushing the rest of the League at this moment (Puckett is shown in pink below):
Yeah, it's a stupid observation. They've played only one game against a gender team. Still, it's pretty cool how much they're lapping the field right now.
Oh, and if you're curious who those three teams in single digits are at the other end of the graph, it's Creekers (brand new team), Tight Ends in Motion (we wonder if they miss Bro?) and Scared Hitless.
***
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.
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