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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 15 June 2023
- Created: 15 June 2023
- Hits: 902
Welcome back to the FINAL TSL Quarterback Power Rankings of the season!
Yes, unlike our way more productive colleagues the Godfather and the Sentinel, we don't write articles during the playoffs. We like to sit back and just watch the show, the fireworks, the bloodbath, whatever you want to call it, without having to analyze anything. So with this being our last article of the year, we've saved a lot for you. We have our final Top 30 Quarterbacks of the year (yes, we expanded to include five more this week!), some updated charts and graphs that you've seen before (if not this session, then other sessions), and then our usual playoff division analysis where we look at each playoff race in detail to pick out any trends in the data we can find.
This will be our longest article of the year, so buckle up! (Or just quit reading right now if you're too intimidated, that's fine too.)
Full disclosure: Dylan Jaloza is obviously one of the better QBs in this League, but we left him out because he's missed so much time this season, and we have no idea how to rank him compared to more full-time players.
#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 42-34
The Sticky Bandits were the TSL's only undefeated team in the regular season, and they did it in the highest division. They were also only 5 points away from being the highest scoring team in D1, which they surely would have gotten if their team had ever cared to run up the score when ahead. Thomas's #1 rank was never in doubt.
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Lost to Losing Streak 55-29 (Legends), beat Creekers 53-26 (Stunts)
Legends and Stunts went a combined 12-4 with two second-place finishes and 540 combined points (36.0 PPG). Did Legends lose one game this season with Melanie? The champs are the champs until someone dethrones them, and Joey doesn't look ready to give up his "alpha dog" spot in the League just yet.
#3 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week: Beat Legends 55-29 (Losing Streak), beat Practice Squad 39-25 (Mavericks)
Jordan jumps back into the #3 spot this week with a convincing win over Legends. There are three QBs with winning records in D1 this session, and it's no coincidence that they occupy the #1 through #3 spots in our Rankings. If you want to simplify Jordan's regular season into one stat, make it this one: he finished with the highest points per game in both D1 and D2.
#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 42-34 (Frodo), beat Travis Henry's Kids 62-46 (BAADies)
A one score loss against the top seeded team in the League, a second 60-point game against Travis Henry's Kids this season, AND a Breakfast Club playoff win. Any way you measure it, this season has been a huge success for Garrett Beesing, who went from "he's actually a decent QB, seriously" to "legit top guy in this League" seemingly overnight.
#5 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Beat Tight Ends in Motion 42-34
Eyes Downtown with a losing record wouldn't have felt right. Thankfully they don't have to worry about that now after beating Tight Ends in Motion for the second time this season. The narrative of D1 this session continues to be "there's three good teams at the top", but we can't help but feel like Bobby's going to bring together his best squad over the next couple of weeks and push his way into the D1 Finals through sheer force of will.
#6 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Beat Freeballers 33-15
Untouchaballs had a losing record somehow last season. It's impossible to imagine that now the way they're blasting the competition in D2 this season. There won't be any "feel good stories" from this team this session, it's Championship or bust at this point. And watching them dismantle teams every week, we bet on "Championship".
#7 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for No Punt Intended this week.
#8 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 36-35
Grey Hair - Don't Care beat Frodo Swaggins by 30 points on April 22nd, the first day of the season. They did not win another game until June 10th, the last day of the season. Can we call this one-game winning streak "momentum"? We expect Legends will present a bigger challenge next week than Scared Hitless, and it might take a miracle to keep the "winning streak" going.
#9 Andy Smigiera - Tight Ends in Motion
Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 42-34
Tight Ends is finally showing a little life offensively as the team put up 34 in a losing effort against Eyes Downtown on Saturday (and rumors are it could have been way more if not for some critical drops by Andy's receivers). Thanks to finishing in the middle of the D1 pack, TEIM have locked up a THIRD game this season against Eyes Downtown. They've lost the first two, but TEIM is full of savvy vets who will know what adjustments to make in their third try.
#10 Joe Miano - Jabronies
Last Week: Lost to Itches and Ohs 42-41
Jabronies was the anti-Grey Hair this season. Grey Hair started and ended the season with wins and lost everything in between, while Jabronies started and ended the season with losses and won everything in between. What does this mean for playoffs? Probably nothing. Joe still has a great receiver corps to throw to and we don't expect a first round upset against a low seeded team. A Kleckler team would never do that, right?
#11 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for Ryan this week... but he moves up in the Rankings on the losses of other QBs.
#12 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week: Lost to Bullet Club 36-30
This was the revenge game Wanderers waited all season for... and they still lost at the end?? That's not the way fairy tales are supposed to go. When Topper finally bankrolls a movie version of this season, let's re-write the script so Wanderers wins at the end, okay? Ultimately the first TSL Wanderer season was as competitive and exciting as we expected, with nearly every game being decided by a single score. Bet on veteran savvy to give them a little boost in the playoffs.
#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Lost to Grey Hair - Don't Care 36-35
With the loss to Grey Hair on Saturday, Scared Hitless have now officially lost to every team in D1 this session. Not the season we expected from them after last Fall's playoff run. Maybe they'll shock the world again, but right now it's just difficult to imagine that. Their only win this season was a last minute 3 point victory over the second-last place team in D1. Sorry... their only win so far.
#14 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week: Lost to Degeneration SeXy 34-32
Let's Get Reccked continue to baffle us week to week. Sometimes they're hot on O and cold on D, sometimes they're cold on O and hot on D. Their four losses this year were by 1, 2, 3 and 7 points, so no one has decisively beaten them yet. Can they find another gear in the playoffs, or will every game continue to be a coin flip for who comes out on top?
#15 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice
Last Week: Beat Puckett All-Stars 51-22
Beating Puckett All-Stars a couple weeks ago was a statement that they're as good as anyone in their division. Beating Puckett All-Stars AGAIN this week was a statement that they're BETTER than anyone in their division, and deserve to be the #1 seed for playoffs. Never say never, but... they are NEVER going to lose to Creekers next week, which means only two more wins to go after that for a long-awaited Championship.
#16 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 51-22
Puckett has found their kryptonite in Buffalo Vice, while dominating the rest of their division. They've allowed 195 points on defense all year, not including that "21-21 tie" they were given against PWI. 104 of those 195 points were against Buffalo Vice (more than 53% of their season total). Crazy. Can we have a rematch in the D4 Finals please?
#17 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club
Last Week: Beat Wanderers 36-30
No way around it, Jeff has not looked his best since coming back from taking a huge chunk of the season off. Bullet Club did just enough to get the win over Wanderers on Saturday, but if they're going to make any noise in the D3 playoffs (by FAR the tightest division in the TSL right now top to bottom) they're going to need bigger games from their QB.
#18 Scotty Drosendahl - Degeneration SeXy
Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 34-32
Full disclosure: we KIND of forgot about Scotty after D-Sex got off to a rough 0-4 start. Since then however they're 3-1 and reminding teams that they're still a contender in D3. Wasn't Scotty historically a strong starter with a weak finish every season? This one feels different. Sorry we ignored you as long as did in the Power Rankings Scotty, you were better than that.
#19 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs / GrASS Eaters
Last Week: Beat Jabronies 42-41 (Itches), beat Back That Pass Up 37-9, beat Blitzkrieg 38-20 (GrASS)
Moser won three games to finish the season strong, including a huge "upset" over D3 leading Jabronies to snap their 6 game winning streak. Steve joins an elite group along with Garrett, Joey and Jordan who are legitimately in contention to win two championships this session. GrASS Eaters have been killing everyone lately, and Itches always seem to be in the game in the closing seconds one way or another.
#20 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated
Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 54-30
Imagine scoring 54 points in your last game of the year and not even moving up in the Power Rankings. It's hard when there's this much QB talent in the League, believe us. PWI wasn't expected by many to go that far this year in their first session in D4, but they've proven the naysayers wrong and battled to a 5-2-1 record on the strength of their intoxicated passer.
#21 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 39-25
An 0-8 regular season almost feels like the universe balancing itself out after Practice Squad dominated throughout 2022. They'll do better in Fall session, and they might even beat Freeballers on Saturday. But Practice Squad will not be getting past this Untouchaballs roster, at least not this season.
#22 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week: Lost to BAADies 62-46
It's been a rough finish for Travis Henry's Kids with four straight losses. It seems like a team needs about 50 points per week to be successful in D4 this session, and unfortunately the THK defense has given up 28, 52, 60 and 62 in the last four weeks (all losses). The "Langley to Pete" connection may still be potent, but it doesn't solve any of their defensive woes.
#23 Paul LoVullo - Come From Behind
Last Week: Beat TMA 26-22
Come From Behind finished the regular season with the most points per game (33.1) and fewest points per game against (19.0) in their division. In fact, they had the fourth best point differential per game (margin of victory) of any team in the TSL. Great athletes and playmakers and QB with a rocket launcher for an arm? Sounds like a recipe for a Championship... if they can keep up with the next QB on our Rankings.
#24 Kelly Kane - GUCCI
Last Week: Beat Not So Sticky 39-29, beat Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 25-16
GUCCI was the only other team in D5 this session to crack 30 PPG. Although they aren't statistically better than Come From Behind on either offense OR defense, they do have a better record in the standings and, maybe most importantly, the head-to-head win that proves they match up well. D5 is very balanced this session (GUCCI's only loss is to the "worst" team in the division) so anything can happen in playoffs, but anything less than a Finals appearance for GUCCI would surprise us.
#25 Brian Orzechowski - Vaspian
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for Vaspian this week.
#26 Derek Pew - Tater Tots
Last Week: Beat Goatsack! 43-0
Maybe there's a perfectly logical explanation for why the Tots lost to Goatsack 39-38 a couple weeks ago and then absolutely BLASTED them on Saturday to the tune of 43-0. Maybe there isn't. Either way, we can't imagine a better "get right" game than a massive shutout against a team that beat you earlier in the season. Tots aren't the statistical favorites in D5, but if Derek goes on a run like he started last week, they should be able to keep up with anybody.
#27 Darryl Carr - Cobblestone
Last Week: Lost to Passing While Intoxicated 54-30
The TSL's most legendary quarterback finished the season 2-6 with the usual roster issues. Cobblestone will play the Stunts in the first round, and their first game this year was actually pretty close as the Stunts held on to win 35-26. Of course this was earlier in the season before the Stunts remembered they were D4 giants, and since then they've gained momentum while Cobblestone has stalled. Does Darryl have it in him to keep Cobblestone alive one more week?
#28 Tyler Ciemny - Southside
Last Week: Beat Pit Harade 42-16
Southside probably shouldn't be in D6, we should start with that. They're the fifth highest scoring team in the TSL, the BEST defense in the TSL, and of course, the best point differential in the TSL by more than a full touchdown. Southside has won by an average of 21.6 PPG this session, and they're the absolute favorites to run away with their division. Tyler can scramble and make plays, and teams don't have a hope of catching him without rushing a male player.
#29 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons
Last Week: Lost to GUCCI 25-16
The ILFers dropped a close one to GUCCI to end their season at 4-4, but somehow that's good enough for third place in a very even D5 this session. Ethan has been lights out since taking over as QB for the Lightning Falcons midseason, but they still lack a statement win to convince us that they have a chance of winning the division.
#30 Nick Stutzman - Two Tuddies
Last Week: Beat Mighty Drunks 34-20
It took a few seasons, but the "Tud Buds" have gone from the 0-9-1 to 3-6 to 7-1, improving every session. We just wrote above that Southside is the "best point differential in the TSL by more than a full touchdown", but that second place team they're leading over? Two Tuddies. Do Nick and the Tuddies have what it takes to topple Southside in the playoffs? They'll be underdogs for sure, but if anyone is used to that role over the past couple seasons, it's these guys.
***
Division by Division Review of the TSL
For our final analysis of the season, we're going to show you the following:
- The breakdown of best offenses, defenses and net point differentials per division. As always, stats below have removed forfeit games from the math, so what you see on the charts may not match the website (intentionally). We tried to color each team's data by their official jersey colors, but half this league apparently uses the same colors so it's not perfect (sorry Cunning Stunts for your sexist pink coloring!)
- A graph of average point differentials per game for each division with a similar "Favorites, Contenders, Pretenders" logic we've used in previous seasons (if you're winning games by an average of 7+ PPG, you're a Favorite in green; if you're losing by an average of 7+ PPG, you're a Pretender in red; all other teams are yellow in the middle; these are not OUR judgments on who falls into each category, it's strictly based on the math of your team's point differentials). For what it's worth, in the last five seasons that we've been showing these graphs, we've had 19 eventual division champions classified as "Favorites", 11 as "Contenders", and exactly zero as "Pretenders".
- A quick twitter sized recap of the division heading into playoffs, and then identifying which teams are "overrated" and "underrated" in each group. Note that these last two categories are based purely on what we see in the scores and stats, NOT our own personal feelings of players on each team (we might personally think Jabronies are overrated, but if the underlying numbers say their team is underrated, that's where we'll include them below) so TRY not to be offended thinking the "website is being mean". We're just reading numbers off a website, man. Relax.
And away we go!
Division 1
The Headline: Three teams are "favorites", three teams are good enough to play spoiler, and two teams can start planning for next season.
Underrated: D1 was the ONLY division this year whose standings finished in the EXACT order that their point differentials would predict. In other words, everyone is EXACTLY in the right order with none of the fluky stuff we'll see in some other divisions, so there aren't any real "statistical" outliers. That being said, the path to the championship is very likely to run through the top three teams in the division, which are Sticky Bandits, Legends and Losing Streak (in whatever order you favor them). More than likely, how you fare against the top teams will determine how far you go in the playoffs. Although most teams understandably struggled against the division leaders, Eyes Downtown nearly beat them all. Losing Streak squeaked by on a successful two point conversion defense. Legends won by only 6 in a tight game. And the Sticky Bandits needed a 22 point comeback just to catch up in their game. Eyes Downtown didn't win any games against the "big three", but they were the only ones who were actually close. If a full roster in the playoffs gets them an extra 7 points per game, that might be enough to beat two of those teams in the Semis/Finals.
Overrated: That being said, if we're measuring success in D1 by your ability to beat one of the top teams, we'll take Tight Ends in Motion as the most "overrated" team this session. They're fifth in the standings so just a hair behind Eyes Downtown on paper, but where Eyes Downtown was battling the top teams to single score losses, Tight Ends were losing against those same opponents by 14 (Losing Streak), 26 (Sticky Bandits) and 29 (Legends). They also went 0-2 against Eyes Downtown, their first round opponent on Saturday, with losses by 11 and 8. All of TEIM's wins this season came against teams below them in the standings... and they're unlikely to face any of those teams again this season.
Division 2
The Headline: Untouchaballs have the best team in the division, with a few flawed contenders good enough to beat them on their best day. Practice Squad is also here.
Underrated: Sometimes the best team in the division is STILL the most underrated, and that's the case here with Untouchaballs. Here's a graph of the difference between the average point differentials of each division's top team and their second best team (in other words, how much BETTER is the best team than the second best team in each division?)
Untouchaballs have the widest lead of any division leader right now, almost a full 10 PPG better than the next best team. These guys aren't just favorites, they're STRONG favorites. Has anyone on the website mentioned yet that they've also won 7 in a row?
Overrated: It has to be No Punt Intended for the most overrated team here, right? Their record looks almost identical to Untouchaballs on the surface which makes you think they're almost on the same level. Nope. NPI is only +2.38 PPG, exactly 10 PPG less than Untouchaballs and not even as good as the Mavericks who NPI are two wins ahead of in the standings. It's true that No Punt Intended beat Untouchaballs in the first game of the season by a single point, but the rematch was a much more one-sided affair. We're not down on NPI by the way, and we fully expect them to make the D2 Finals game. But we aren't expecting them to win based on the stats.
Division 3
The Headline: Last Fall we wrote "the TSL's most wide-open division by far. No dominant teams and no trash teams means anything can (and probably will) happen." We were right (the 8 seed won!) so let's stick with that.
Underrated: We ALMOST picked Let's Get Reccked because they're in sixth place despite being one of only three teams in D3 with a positive point differential. Almost... but the clear "underrated" team in D3 has to be Itches and Ohs. They went 4-4 this season, but two of their losses included a forfeit and a game where their QB (and frankly defensive MVP) was suspended. They're 4-2 with their "real" squad with their only losses coming by 6 and 10 points, and they're one of only two teams to actually beat the Jabronies this session. Would it even be considered an upset if they win the championship at this point?
Overrated: There are no obvious candidates in the numbers for a truly "overrated" D3 team, but we'll take the Wanderers here based on the fact that it's been over a month since they last won a game. After a 4-1 start they've limped to the finish with three consecutive losses, including one last week to an ALSO ice-cold Bullet Club. Does momentum mean anything to a team that has played over a decade and been through ups and downs a hundred times before? Maybe not. Maybe they come out and smoke Itches and Ohs on Saturday and show us that they've been holding back an extra gear lately. But it's tough to win games when your defense is giving up nearly 40 PPG like the Wanderers have the past three weeks, so if they want to go far in the playoffs they'll either have to shore up that defense or ask Frank to work miracles on offense.
Division 4
The Headline: Four dominant teams headline the D4 race, with BAADies improving enough to have a real shot. THK, Cobblestone and Creekers will not be playing in the Finals.
Underrated: We almost said Puckett All-Stars here because they have the third best point differential per game in the whole TSL, and somehow they're only in third place in their own division (which is really, really hard to pull off). But it's tough to choose them as "underrated" when they've been beaten twice by the first place team who seems to really have their number. There is one D4 team with a better claim to being underrated though... and that is Passing While Intoxicated. Their first round matchup is against BAADies, who they beat earlier this season. Assuming no other shocking upsets (and yes, it would be shocking if Buffalo Vice, Stunts or Puckett lost in the first round) it would be PWI vs Buffalo Vice in the semi-finals... another team that PWI beat earlier this season. That would leave PWI to face the winner of Puckett All-Stars vs Cunning Stunts in the Finals, a matchup Puckett decisively won in the regular season. So if all goes the way it did earlier this season, we would have a PWI vs Puckett Finals... which would be a rematch of the game that never finished this season (and was marked a tie) after a PWI player went down with a medical emergency. We have no idea how well PWI would do against Puckett in a full game, but they're the ONLY team outside of Buffalo Vice that can make the claim that they haven't lost to Puckett yet this season. What better place to see how they stack up than the D4 Finals?
Overrated: The Cunning Stunts were our first thought when we started researching "underrated" teams above. They're on a 5-0 streak since a 1-2 start, and not ONE of those games was particularly close, so they've got to be pretty great, you would think. But then we looked into the detail more and saw that the scores are a bit misleading. Two of those five wins are against the Creekers (including one via forfeit) and everyone beat the Creekers. Travis Henry's Kids seemed like a quality win at the time, but in hindsight we can see that they were starting to implode a bit by then and a four game losing streak would follow. Yes, the Stunts had quality wins against Passing While Intoxicated and BAADies, and those do matter. But in all likelihood, the Stunts will have to go through Puckett All-Stars and Buffalo Vice back-to-back to win the D4 championship... and they lost by a combined 94-43 in those two matchups earlier this year. The Stunts are a GREAT team, but if the top contenders match up well against them, it could be too much of a disadvantage to overcome.
Division 5
The Headline: Two teams loom large over the rest of the division, and everyone else hopes to play spoiler.
Underrated: TMA is in last place in the division, despite being fifth in point differential. Yes, they're still negative, and yes, they're not particularly great on either side of the ball right now. But they're not "last place" bad (at least not statistically) so we choose them as the most underrated team in D5. Also, they're the ONLY team this season to beat top-rated GUCCI, their first round matchup in the playoffs, so they've already shown they can win this matchup once. Come From Behind would also have been a great choice here, because they're #1 everywhere in our charts except the standings, but TMA is the better option.
Overrated: Goatsack has a better offense than only Not So Sticky. They're the worst defense in the division AND the worst point differential per game by a good amount too. But somehow they're sixth in the standings and one lucky game away from a .500 record? We're not sure how that worked out. Statistically, they were the worst team in the division despite the fact that they willed themselves to three wins this season, so we're going to take them as our most "overrated" team.
Division 6
The Headline: Southside dominates, Two Tuddies are their biggest threat, and a few other teams also probably have a chance.
Underrated: If you read the Itches and Ohs write-up in D3 above, you can pretty much apply the same thinking here. GrASS Eaters were 5-3 this session, but two of their losses were when Steve Moser was unable to play. Who did GrASS Eaters play in those weeks? Southside and Two Tuddies, of course. So we have NO idea what would happen if Moser had played the top teams in this division. As it is the Eaters are third in the division with +6.5 PPG including those two lopsided losses. If we throw them both out, that would improve to +16.5 PPG, right up there among the elite of D6. Anyone who thinks that Southside vs Tuddies in the Finals is a foregone conclusion needs to think again, and watch out for the Moser clan.
Overrated: Sausage McMuffins are third in their division and fourth in point differentials. That alone doesn't make a team "overrated" of course. It is a bit concerning though that they're 0-3 in their last three games after a 5-0 start. Yes, one of those games was a forfeit to Two Tuddies, and another was an annihilation at the hands of Southside that same week when they were scrambling for subs. But the other was a loss to the winless Mighty Drunks, and even before that during their five game winning streak, the McMuffins weren't exactly killing teams (Pit Harade was their only win this year by more than one score). The McMuffins will be fine. We suspect they'll beat Blitzkrieg on Saturday to advance to the Semi-Finals. But the numbers aren't showing us that they're the third best team in this division, and it will likely be an uphill struggle for them once they have to play the top guys in Championship week.
***
Top Ten Best and Worst Lists for the 2023 Spring Season
The division analysis above is the real meat and potatoes of this article, but in case you're curious how you stack up against teams in OTHER divisions, here are the top ten (and bottom ten) teams in the entire TSL for offensive points per game, defensive points per game, and average point differential per game. As always, forfeit games are excluded:
What did we learn from this?? The magic numbers for us are always 20 and 40. Nearly every team in this League averages between 20-40 PPG both offensively and defensively. If you're higher than 40 offensively or lower than 20 defensively, you're doing an amazing job. If you're lower than 20 offensively or higher than 40 defensively... you're probably not winning too many games. This season we had exactly ONE team crack the 40 PPG barrier on offense, so congrats to Puckett All-Stars, our Spring 2023 scoring champs. Here is how they compare with scoring champions from the previous six seasons:
So if Puckett were the BEST offense, who were the worst? This season we had four teams fail to make it to 20 PPG on offense (Creekers, Back That Pass Up, Scared Hitless and Not So Sticky). Those teams, unsurprisingly, went a combined 4-28 this season.
Then on the other side of the ball, there were four defenses that held opponents to under 20 PPG (Southside, Untouchaballs, Two Tuddies and Come From Behind). Those teams, again unsurprisingly, went a combined 27-5. It's pretty easy to win when the other team doesn't score (that's the kind of insightful analysis you come to this website for, right?).
There was only one team this session that allowed more than 40 PPG defensively and that was the 0-8 Creekers, who cracked both the "failed to score 20 PPG on offense list" and the "failed to hold opponents under 40 PPG on defense list". It feels like we beat up on the Creekers a lot here, but that's just because we enjoy pointing out statistical anomalies. So here's a pro-Creekers stat for their team: guys, you are nowhere NEAR as bad as the Replacements were last year! The Fall 2022 season's punching bag team was 0-9, averaged only 10.8 PPG on offense (barely HALF of what Creekers are scoring) and allowed 48.0 PPG on defense. Where the Creekers were outscored by 21.7 PPG, the Replacements were outscored by 37.3 PPG. So you see, it could have been a lot worse!
Besides the "40/20 Clubs", what else do we see from the best and worst units in the League? Southside and Sticky Bandits finished as the only two teams to make the Top Ten Best lists in every category, while Practice Squad, Pit Harade, Goatsack!, Creekers, Back That Pass Up and Scared Hitless all made the Top Ten Worst lists in every category. And BAADies and Not So Sticky were the only teams to make one Top Ten Best and one Top Ten Worst list.
Our final observation from these charts is that Two Tuddies averaged a +15.57 margin of victory each week. In other words they pretty much won most weeks by... two tuddies (sorry, not sorry).
***
All-Time Championship Statistics
A couple sessions ago we compiled a list of every TSL champion in League history and devised a ranking system to see who the "best teams of all time" were. This was exhausting to research and put together, but it's now very simple to update once a session, so that's what we've done here. The timing feels right to update you all on this now JUST before playoffs so we can remind you what you're chasing here... co-ed football immortality. Here are the current immortals:
THAT part is objective - the champs are the champs, and we'd like to think history will remember their achievements for 1,000 years to come (history classes will likely debate what exactly the "Tommy Hughes Experience" was). This next part though is subjective: we then attempted to compare the relative strength of each division's championships to come up with a ranking system (a D2 title is harder to win than a D4 title) and this is what we landed on:
- A D1 championship is our baseline since it's the best a team can do. Let's make that worth 100 points.
- A D2 title is worth, at BEST, 49% of that, since two D2 titles don't quite equal a D1 title (you can argue it should be LESS than 49%, but we've made the choice to weight lower divisions as heavily as reasonably possible here). 49 points for a D2 title.
- A D3 title should be worth 49% of THAT, so about 24 points for each D3 championship.
- Every subsequent division is worth 49% of the previous one, so D4 is worth 11 points, D5 is worth 5 points, and D6 is worth 2 points.
- Indoor championships aren't currently worth a point (though we may revised this in the future). With apologies to DILFS, Jelly Beans and Sticky Bandits, Winter sessions are often used to make new teams and play with new people. No team should be penalized in the rankings for doing that instead of entering their usual squad.
It's an arbitrary system of course, but it's the one we chose. So here is the updated list of your "greatest champions of all time" going into the Spring 2023 playoffs (active teams are highlighted below):
We debated making a change to the math above so that subsequent championships in the same division would be worth less the second time around. After all, is it fair that Puckett can catch All We Do is Quinn in the rankings by winning their third D4 title this session? Shouldn't they move up at some point? But for now we decided to leave it as is.
So where does that leave us today? No one is going to catch Public Enemy at the top any time soon, but Legends can jump from 4th to 2nd if they win this session, pulling even with Green & Associates. Tight Ends could jump from 8th to 3rd, Eyes Downtown from 9th to 4th, and Sticky Bandits from 13th to 8th.
Puckett All-Stars is nowhere near Public Enemy in the overall rankings, but they CAN tie them for most TSL Championships of all-time if they win a fifth this season. Given how well they're playing, they have a pretty great shot at it too.
Sticky Bandits and Practice Squad both have the opportunity to become the first team in TSL history to win a championship in four different divisions. Of course the Bandits are 8-0 and Practice Squad is 0-8, so one team probably has slightly better odds than the other.
Bottom line, people remember champions, not the teams who come in second place, so immortality can only be found by winning it all. Good luck!
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All-Time Quarterback Ranking Statistics
We ARE a Quarterback Ranking article after all, don't you think we'd do the same thing with QB Rankings as we do with the Championship rankings above?
Below is the list of every QB to every make the Top Ten in the eight seasons (since Spring of 2019) that we've been tracking this. Yes, we know it's a ridiculous chart, and no, we don't expect anyone but our most faithful readers to even glance at it (it probably isn't even legible on your phone). We'll summarize it for you below, don't worry.
To summarize:
- Across 64 Power Rankings we've done dating back 8 seasons, there have been 33 Quarterbacks to make our Top Ten.
- The highest average position of any QB over this period is Chris Cole, who was our first ever #1, held the top spot on a record 22 occasions (including a record 10 weeks in a row), and never fell outside of the Top 3 in his five seasons in the "Power Ranking era". He is also tied with Bro Kleckler for the SECOND longest streak of #1 rankings (8 weeks in a row), so in summary, he was pretty good.
- The record for most weeks in our Top Ten belongs to Bobby McConnell, who has been in the Rankings for 60 consecutive weeks. Bobby missed only the first four weeks of our first season when he was injured, and since his first appearance he has held the top spot 11 times, the second spot 14 times, the third spot 24 times, the fourth spot 9 times, and the fifth spot 2 times (this week and last week). He has never fallen outside the Top Five in this timeframe.
- There are only five quarterbacks that have ever been achieved the #1 Ranking: Chris Cole, Bobby McConnell, Joey Batts, Bro Klecker, and Mike Thomas.
- Bobby McConnell is the only quarterback to make the Top Ten every season we've been doing Power Rankings. Joey Batts has made every season (and in fact every WEEK of every season) except for the one he took off from throwing in a higher division.
- Matt Glowacki is the only quarterback to date to make the Top Ten exactly once. He was ranked 7th our first week in 2019, and has never been back.
And FINALLY, just like the Championships above, we have a system for ranking QBs all-time based on where they fall in our Top Ten (well what did you expect, you're reading an article about QB Rankings). It's pretty simple: QBs get 10 points for a first place Ranking, 9 points for a second place Ranking, etc. And when they fall outside of the Top Ten, they stop getting points. This is HEAVILY biased towards longevity, which is why you'll see the GOAT Chris Cole (who has been retired for three seasons) in third place. So take this ranking with a grain of salt. Active QBs highlighted below:
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That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this season! We can't possibly make any other charts for you at this point (this was exhausting) and we doubt anyone has read this start-to-finish anyway.
We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts on any of the above, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us. Good luck in the playoffs.
What's YOUR ranking?
