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Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

 
Sometimes we're lazy
and write the Haiku Rankings
Today is that day.
 
 
 
 
#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 35-20
Number one QB,
Beat the unbeaten Bandits,
Congrats to Bobby!
 
#2 Joey Batts - Eyes Uptown / Cunning Stunts
Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 49-8 (Eyes Uptown), beat Roaring 20s 51-28 (Cunning Stunts)
Most points in D1,
Most points in D4 per game,
Should be number one!
 
#3 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 23-12, lost to Eyes Downtown 35-20
Lost to Eyes Downtown,
Still best record in D1,
Then he beat Frodo.
 
#4 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks
Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 56-38, lost to Can't Touch This 31-27
First loss of season,
Mavericks still pretty good,
Might clinch one seed soon!
 
#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins
Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 23-12, lost to Eyes Uptown 49-8
Forty nine to eight,
What a shitty way to lose,
Sticky game was close!
 
#6 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week:  Lost to Mavericks 56-38
Hitless lost a game,
Undefeated season's dead.
Still a solid team
 
#7 David Eickhoff - Freeballers
Last Week:  Beat Untouchaballs 30-16
How bout that Eickhoff?
He ages like a fine wine.
Big win against Champs!
 
#8 Andy Strug - The Malones
Last Week:  Beat Keller Whales 46-20
Malones win battle
Of unbeaten D3 teams.
Can't slow down this O!
 
#9 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week:  Lost to Freeballers 30-16
Burr put up sixteen,
That's not enough to win games!
Champs are in trouble?
 
#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 35-29
One more win for Frank,
Wanderers are unbeaten
Is this their season??
 
#11 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week:  Beat Mavericks 31-27
The streak is over!
Can't Touch This finally wins!
Can they keep it up?
 
#12 Theo Russell - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for Theo
Puckett All-Stars on a bye
First win is coming.
 
#13 Damien Keller - Keller Whales
Last Week:  Lost to The Malones 46-20
Malones beat the Whales
and it was not very close.
Maybe in playoffs?
 
#14 Joe Miano - Jabronies
Last Week:  Beat Topper All Stars & Todd 27-13
Happy birthday Joe!
Team celebrates with a win.
Joe's mojo is back.
 
#15 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week:  Beat Practice Squad 29-28
Close win for Buchlis,
Reccked needs people to show up
Sucks when short handed.
 
#16 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / Tater Tots
Last Week:  Lost to Let's Get Reccked 29-28 (Practice Squad), lost to ILF 23-16 and PWI 38-28 (Tater Tots)
Tots finally lost,
Three losses in one day, B??
Not your best work, Ford!
 
 
#17 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No game for B. Vice.
Brutal schedule to start year,
They needed a break!
 
 
#18 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club
Last Week:  Lost to Wanderers 35-29
Heart breaking close loss!
Bullet Club not that far off,
They won't go winless.
 
 
#19 Mitchell Bennett - Creekers
Last Week:  Beat Vaspian 42-12
Another huge win,
The Creekers are legit good.
Can they win D4??
 
 
#20 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons
Last Week:  Did Not Play
Ethan did not play,
ILF won with Langley.
Ethan holds them back??
 
 
 
Fancy Statistics Section
Here are the top ten best (and worst!) offenses, defenses, and point differentials in the League through the first four weeks.  As always, all numbers are shown on a per game basis:
 
 
A few observations:
  • Travis Henry's Kids, Cunning Stunts, Creekers, Sausage McMuffins and Blitzkrieg each appear on all three "best of" lists, which means they're having very strong starts to their season.  Most impressive might be either the Stunts (we expect their offense to be prolific, but how about that all girls defense???) or the Creekers (who moved up a division and are STILL killing it), and least impressive are Travis Henry's Kids (the "anti-Creekers" who moved DOWN a division, and get an asterisk next to all their accomplishments this season).
  • The Roaring 20's, Reset Warriors, and TMA are the only three teams to appear on all three "worst of" lists, but two of them are brand new teams so we'll give them a pass.  We remember when TMA was really good... roster turnover (and aging) are tough to overcome! 
  • How about Pit Harade?  They have the fifth worst offense in the League at 18.75 PPG... but they're 3-1 on the season on the strength of their #1 defense (allowing 13.25 PPG).
  • Four of the five worst point differentials in the TSL belong to brand new teams.  In fact Just Joshing has the best point differential in the TSL right now for a true "brand new team"... and they're -7.3 PPG, good for 32nd in the League!  Moral of the story: it takes time to figure out how to succeed in this League.  If you're struggling right out of the gate, it doesn't mean you won't turn it around eventually!
 
 
 
**
 
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  
 
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