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It was supposed to be a nice, easy Saturday for me.

 

The winds were light, about 5 MPH, coming from the southwest. Things are little wet, but the temperature was in the 70s. I had absolutely nothing going on in Des Moines, Iowa for once. My life is busy you know, there’s more to it than just being the World’s Greatest Social Co-Ed Football Writer. I was going to have a nice, quiet “Me” Day. I fired up the smoker with my Hickory wood chunks, and got ready to slow cook a nice rack of ribs while I just relaxed.

 

And then, my phone went off. “No big deal” I thought, and I ignored it. And then another one. And another one. Before I knew it, my phone was lighting up non-stop. And why? Well, a lot of my friends at the TSL were informing me of a “happening” that was taking place. The way my phone reacted you’d have thought Lenny Alba had shown up to the fields and was passing out the thousands of friendship bracelets he’d been working on “this whole time”.

 

But no! Instead, we had a fight. A freaking fight. I received MULTIPLE accounts of the situation. I was fired up, and I wanted to just fly to Buffalo to smack the sense into some people. I still do, to a degree. But its later in the week now, and suspensions have been handed out. Good on Topper for showing the league that regardless of what you think you know, its never okay to abuse the officials.

 

No, I don’t know if the ‘Wet Bandit’ (not to be confused with Sticky) spit in our ref’s face on purpose or if it was just spray from his gums flapping 3 inches away. But here’s what I DO know: If you’re going to be that much of a jerk that you have to be IN A REF’S FACE SCREAMING DURING A SOCIAL CO-ED FOOTBALL LEAGUE GAME THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE FOR FUN, you need to re-evaluate your life. If you’re going to get that close to someone to yell and be that much of a jerk that a person thought you DID spit on them, and you get beat up for it? You need to re-evaluate your life. If, after the fact, a good chunk of my messages were from other refs sharing their experiences and letting me know other times you were a jerk on the field and they had to warn you to calm down, kick you off the field for the series, or anything else? YOU NEED TO RE-EVALUATE YOUR LIFE. There’s a reason TMA, probably the BEST group of people in the TSL on one team (Seriously, look at this roster of beauties: Ferger, Brent, Web, Drunk Meg, the other Val, the other other Bernal, There’s that Rich guy that’s super cool but people don’t even know him, I’m going to ignore saying Prim or Rameer here because it doesn’t fully support my narrative, and there’s like 15 other cool people on their roster that show up every week) kicked you off of their team, and it was all about your on field attitude. It’s GARBAGE, and if you think anyone feels sorry for you outside of the Ugandan Warriors locker room: They don’t. Re-evaluate your life.

 

I’m not using his name because he doesn’t deserve the press. But, in fairness, I will say that I did get messages about him being a really good guy off the field, and they’re from sources I trust. So I guess you need to re-evaluate your on field persona. There’s a problem when a league of 600+ amazing human beings who treat each other (mostly) like family universally kind of go “Oh it was him? Well, I’m not surprised.” This isn’t the place for that attitude. You have some time to think, so do it.

 

No, this doesn’t excuse the referee from fighting. He made his mistakes too, and he was punished for his actions as well. But, 100% of the TSLers polled about this scenario all agreed that if someone was screaming in their face and they thought said person spit on them, well, they’d do the exact same thing. The situation NEVER should’ve gotten to that point. Again, its NEVER okay for any TSLer to get up in a ref’s face and SCREAM at them. Our referees donate part of their Saturdays to make sure that we continue to have the best league in WNY, and they don’t have to be there. It isn’t just a case of “we can find more refs easily” either. Rameer works hard to set up that schedule, and he has to re-do it twice weekly it seems. It isn’t as easy as you think. Just because you give them $20 doesn’t mean they work for you. Treat them with respect. (Except for Garbacz. Do what you want with that guy.)

 

With that out of the way, WELCOME TO WEEK 7 OF THE TSL SPRING 2019 SEASON!

 

There’s actually some exciting stuff happening in the league this time around! I’m going to give a shout out right now to an email I received from one of my informants that he (or she) forwarded to me with some super exciting news:

 

The Ultimate Warriors have made the switch. Starting at QB will be Samantha Lattuca, the Icebox, the face of the franchise no matter what their name has been. This is huge news! I love it! Straight from the mouth (hands?) of her husband T, “2 weeks ago she came in at halftime down 18 and tied the game. If she would’ve started we would’ve won as the other QB (myself) threw 3 bad picks that turned into scores.” This is fun stuff. He would also go on to point out that the other QB (named “Shane”) is the Ultimate Warriors’ fastest receiver and immediately gives Sam her best weapon. Yes, the Ultimate Warriors are 0-7. It hasn’t been the greatest season in terms of record, but they’ve still kept games close. On the other side of the field? All We Do Is Quinn. Well, nothing like trial by fire I guess! As of now, this is a first round playoff matchup. The Warriors could catch Morning Wood with two wins by season’s end, but I don’t think they will. Quinn could bomb out and lose first place, but I don’t think they will. So here’s hoping Sam can figure out the Quinn defenses and maybe even pull off the upset. If not here, maybe in the playoffs? We can only hope! Good luck Sam, I think everyone will be rooting for you!

 

The D1/D2 (C1/C2) crossover games start this week! Topper, in an effort to give teams someone else to play (those 6 team divisions can get a repetitive schedule wise), created this week to give these teams some fun. It’s also a nice way to show if the gap between the divisions is as wide as some of these scared-y cats in D2/C2 act like it is. Should be a fun litmus test for sure.

We’re getting closer and closer to the playoffs and every game counts. Who’s going to step it up in Week 7?

My normal games format isn’t really going to work for the crossover games, and I can’t really make official lines and predictions. But I’ll make the prediction that C2 teams will win at LEAST two of the games. But which ones? Let’s see: 

 

Public Enemy vs Bullet Club – Two teams of a lot of friends (and some maybe not so friends) come together to play a game that will absolutely have a lot of trash talking, drinking, hugs, and thoughts about Lenny. This game was originally supposed to be more for fun (I think there was talk about having a Tommy Hughes vs Gordon at QB matchup) but the Public Enemy 17 game winning streak has added a bit more spice to it. PE doesn’t want to lose the streak, and there’s nothing BC would like more than to be the ones that did it. Low chance to be the D2 upset here.

 

Tight Ends in Motion vs A&A – A very fun matchup between Emily Curry and Matty Ice is on the docket here as TEIM and A&A face off in what could be a close matchup if A&A actually gets their full roster to show up. Word is that JZ still won’t be available for A&A, so that actually helps them in this game. If Matty can solve the TEIM defense a few times, look out. Good chance for a D2 upset.

 

Marketing Mayors vs Money Ball – Electric Blue vs More Electric Pink. Wear your sunglasses if you’re going to watch this one. Money Ball has a 2-4 record in C2 and they got the unlucky draw of having to play the Mayors. We aren’t sure if the “Have Scott Pinto throw the ball as far as he can so Radon can go get it” offense is going to work as well against names like “Andy Smith”, but hey lets see how it goes. Low chance for the D2 upset.

 

1 Todd Too Many vs Energy Buff – The biggest question is going to be which team will NOT wear grey? Team Topper has fallen on hard times, but a game against Energy Buff could be what the doctor ordered. While EB has been much better as of late, with QB Tommy getting rid of his sleeves and figuring out the TSL game, that doesn’t mean they’ll run right by 1TTM. High chance for the D2 upset.

 

Eyes Downtown vs Title Shot – Eyes Downtown has Bobby back and is rolling. Title Shot was missing some people last week and it cost them, even with Dubey showing up. I know ED is fuming over their missed opportunity to break the PE streak last week, and I can’t see them losing against a Title Shot team that seems to be out of sorts last weekend. Low chance for the D2 upset.

 

#XTC@Angry Buffalo vs Gryffindor – These two squads have been both playing some good football as of late, and I think we may actually see a very competitive game here. Gryffindor was almost called up to D1/C1 before the season and #XTC@AB was almost sent down to D2/C2. It’s going to be fun to see this game, and it might be the best one of the bunch. Good chance for the D2 upset.

 

If I’m getting my prediction right of two D2/C2 wins, my best bets are probably the Gryffindor/Energy Buff parlay. I can still get decent odds on it.

 

 

D1/C1:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Public Enemy 34, Eyes Downtown 25

Marketing Mayors 21, Tight Ends In Motion 12

#XTC@Angry Buffalo 22, 1 Todd Too Many 16

 

The Ladder Match positional round didn’t give us any upsets here, but we did get three close games. Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown actually gave us THE GAME we were hoping for a few weeks ago, but it makes sense that Bobby’s return was the catalyst for the whining, complaining, hard playing game from both of these teams. Marketing Mayors was having some trouble solving that great defense of TEIM, but Tight Ends struggled to move the ball and score and that’s going to be their biggest problem come playoff time. #XTC@AB has been improving weekly, and it shows, but their only wins have come against Team Topper. Team Topper, meanwhile, has been playing some close games but they just can’t quite figure out how to finish them off with a win. I don’t forsee the playoff standings looking too much different than they do now. The most interesting race is going to be who gets the second bye week for the playoffs: Marketing Mayors or Eyes Downtown? Funny we should say that…

 

Eyes Downtown vs Marketing Mayors (+3) – Let’s find out! This game is pretty big as I just mentioned for these two teams and their playoff spot. The winner will be in the driver’s seat to get the bye in the playoffs, while the loser is on track to play Topper in the first round. Maybe there are no losers here? This should be an excellent game. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

 

D2/C2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Bullet Club 40, Title Shot 14

Gryffindor 32, Money Ball 14

A&A 27, Energy Buff 20

Money Ball 43, Title Shot 27

Energy Buff 30, A&A 23

 

It was a rough week for Title Shot, as they lost games to the division leaders and the last place team. Dubey was there, but they were missing people for both games (and they weren’t the same people either). The Energy Buff-A&A doubleheader gave us two close games where I wasn’t surprised to see these two split. Energy Buff is really coming on at the right time before the playoffs. I’m going to keep saying that until they fall apart. I believe in them! Money Ball is starting to live and die by the long ball. Yes, Radon is fast and talented and handsome. I get throwing deep to him a lot is alluring. But you’re not going to win in the playoffs by doing that stuff constantly. Bullet Club continued to hold the division lead by blowing out Title Shot, but they aren’t without their issues. They’re mostly roster related of course, and the lack of continuity week to week has yet to have them put together a complete game. Gryffindor is really finding their groove as well. They aren’t just winning, they’re scoring a lot. They’re peaking at just the right time, and Joey Batts is one of the hottest QBs in the league right now. This division is honestly up for grabs when it comes to the playoff byes. Bullet Club and A&A have them currently, but one slip up can really hurt any team’s chances. Every game in this division is a big one.

 

D3/R1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Peachy Platoon 35, All We Do Is Quinn 24

3rd and Schlong 36, Peachy Platoon 34

Slytherin That End Zone 46, Frodo Swaggins 36

Sticky Bandits 32, Morning Wood 30

Slytherin That End Zone 27, Sticky Bandits 16

 

So what we’ve essentially learned is that we know nothing at all, except that Morning Wood is a continual disappointment and Dave deserves better. Peachy vs Quinn was everything we wanted it to be and more: entertaining for sure, close game, big plays. There was a nice contingent of fans on hand for this one as well. The main reason Peachy won this game is because their tall guy with long hair and a headband was better than Quinn’s. These types of things win football games. So Peachy established division dominance for about an hour, and then 3rd and Schlong came along and reminded the TSL just exactly who the hell they are. Yes, Peachy just played their most emotionally exhausting game of the season and 3AS took advantage of it, but they showed they’re in the thick of things. Oh hold on, who the hell is 5-2? Oh, its SITE. SITE had the biggest weekend of all these teams last week, quieting the doubters with an impressive win over Frodo Swaggins, and then sticking the proverbial fork in Sticky Bandits at 3:00. All of a sudden, SITE and 3AS are our two hottest teams in the division, but after Saturday, who the hell knows anymore?

 

All We Do Is Quinn vs Ultimate Warriors (+10) – Yes, Sam is playing QB. But she’s playing a team that just tasted defeat for the first time and they’re going to be focused to get back on the winning track. The people’s choice is for the upset, but I don’t see it. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 13

 

Slytherin That End Zone vs Morning Wood (+7) – SITE is very hot, and MW is very not right now. Historically, that means that Morning Wood should win 35-20 somehow. However SITE is playing with a chip on their shoulder, and they’re not a fluke. SLYTHERIN THAT ENDZONE BY 10

 

3rd And Schlong vs Sticky Bandits (+10) – Sticky just isn’t the Sticky we know and love. I’m not sure what the deal is there. 3rd and Schlong’s mission to win the D3/R1 title that started last Fall has been a forgotten storyline with all of the other things going on in this division. Don’t forget about them. 3RD AND SCHLONG BY 7

 

Peachy Platoon vs Frodo Swaggins (+6) – Peachy’s biggest problem is that while they can score, they still struggle on defense. If they ever figure that part of the game out, look out world. The problem with Frodo is that while they can score, they struggle mightily on defense. Oh boy. Two good offenses vs Two not so good defenses. The Over/Under is 60.5. Take the over. PEACHY PLATOON BY 3

 

D4/R2

 

Last Week’s Games:

No Punt Intended 39, Full Throttle 38

Cobblestone 37, Puckett All-Stars 36

End Game 43, Hung Buffalo 8

 

Two amazing games, and one rude awakening for Hung Buffalo. That’s what we saw in D4/R2 action last week. NPI continued their hot streak, but they ESCAPED Full Throttle, who gave it their best shot for sure. Multiple reports came in about “they had this one girl who was open in the end zone all of the time. She seems like a future star!”. Good work unnamed girl I don’t know! Maybe Lou or Luke can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me who she is. Cobblestone won! They played Puckett hard and they ended up getting a late go ahead score. Darryl’s magic is increasing, and Cobblestone is now in the playoffs instead of being on the outside looking in. Great to see that. End Game, we see you. You did what you’ve been doing all season and you smacked down another would be challenger to your divisional dominance. End Game’s defense is disgusting, and they may just walk to the championship without allowing any points. Seriously, take a look at the QB Power Rankings article. It has lots of awesome graphs and charts that show End Game is blowing away the competition. Uncle Rico’s either had the week off, or they just quit the league altogether after blowing that NPI game a few weeks ago. Just kidding, their wounds are properly healed and I expect them to come out in full force. There’s going to be a lot of positioning for playoffs in these next two weeks. I can’t even fathom how it’ll shake out.

 

Cobblestone vs Full Throttle (+1) – I had to make Cobblestone the favorite! They’re fresh off a big win and Full Throttle is fresh off another heartbreaking loss. This game means EVERYTHING for the playoffs. It’s essentially a playoff game. The winner is more than likely in, the loser is more than likely out. COBBLESTONE BY 3

 

Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Hung Buffalo (EVEN) – I don’t know what happened to Hung Buffalo last week. I don’t know what’s happened to BSS the last few weeks. What I do know is that both of these teams really need this win. These two teams are both very similar in points scores, points allowed, and record. While they’ll both make the playoffs, they both need to get themselves on the right track and it’ll be fun to see who does it. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 1

 

GLBS vs Cobblestone (+8) – As awesome as Cobblestone’s win was last week, reality will come back to haunt them here. GLBS may be a bit out of sorts but hopefully the week off had them reset. What I do know is that Cobblestone struggles to score, and GLBS doesn’t allow anyone to score. Might be a tough game for Darryl. GLBS BY 14

 

Indecent Exposure vs Puckett All-Stars (+10) – IE was off last weekend, while Puckett was on the receiving end of a finishing blow from Cobblestone. Puckett might just be running for the bus to get this season overwith. INDECENT EXPOSURE BY 7

 

Hung Buffalo vs Puckett All-Stars (+10) – Same as the game above, but this time Hung Buffalo is here with a little more urgency to win after losing last week. I’m sorry Puckett. HUNG BUFFALO BY 13

 

End Game vs Indecent Exposure (+8) – Here’s a fun game! Indecent Exposure gets their chance to see how they measure up to the best team in the division. IE is smart enough on offense to be able to solve the defense that End Game has been giving teams, but will they be able to force a turnover or two to pull it out? I think it’ll be close, but ultimately End Game prevails. END GAME BY 3

 

 

D5/R3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

HomeTech 33, Hope N Ruin 26

Matty’s Angels 51, Ugandan Warriors 43

Over Compensators 28, Five Star Generals 24

Vandalay Industries 32, Over Compensators 26

Come From Behind 24, Pink Pteratacos 14

 

The big one, of course, is how Matty’s Angels defeated Ugandan Warriors in a very good matchup. Matty’s scored the go ahead touchdown with about 28 seconds left (depending on who you ask anyway) to break the tie, and stay undefeated in the division. Come From Behind got a nice win against the Pteratacos that pulled them even with PP for some playoff positioning. Vandalay also kept pace with their win over the OC. The mid-tier teams in this division are very close. HomeTech wins! HomeTech Wins! They upset Hope N Ruin, who is just having a terrible season for their own standards. The win move HT into the playoffs, leaving the Over Compensators and the team they just defeated for their own first win, the Five Star Generals, on the outside looking in. There’s still lots of changes to be had in D5, including at the top….

 

Cunning Stunts vs Matty’s Angels (+3) – That’s right, I said it. Matty’s may be undefeated, but as of right now they aren’t the hottest gender team in the TSL. That belongs to the Cunning Stunts, who have been on a tear lately. Field 4 is the place to be at 10am, as these two teams do battle for the D5 division lead. Both teams can score, but here’s the dirty little secret for Matty’s: They can’t stop anyone. They’re 8th in defense in the division. This is another game to take the over.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 5

 

HomeTech vs Over Compensators (+3) – That’s right HomeTech! You win and you get favored in a game. This is essentially a playoff matchup, since the loser will more than likely be unable to catch the winner in the standings. I know the OC just won as well, but they did it against a pretty lost Five Star team. HOMETECH BY 7

 

Come From Behind vs Hope N Ruin (+8) – Hope N Ruin is a lot more Ruin than anything this season. Come From Behind won’t have to do so in this matchup. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10

 

Ugandan Warriors vs Vandalay Industries (+10) – Vandalay is a very solid team, but let’s face it: Ugandan is pissed they lost the rivalry matchup with the Angels and there’s a lot more that has them fired up at Team Topper Lite. I’m betting the Warriors go for 70 points alone. UGANDAN WARRIORS BY 14

 

Cunning Stunts vs Pink Pteratacos (+7) – While the Pteratacos are having a good first season together, they’re just outside of the upper tier of D5. The Stunts, as we’ve said earlier, are that upper tier. Either the Stunts will be pumped from their win over Matty’s Angels, or they’ll be looking for revenge. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

Ugandan Warriors vs Pink Pteratacos (+7) – Big, tough week to be a Pterataco fan. Facing two of the upper tier teams in a doubleheader with no rest should not make for a fun day. UGANDAN WARRIORS BY 10

 

Vandalay Industries vs Five Star Generals (+10) – Five Star needs this win to stay alive in the playoff hunt, but nothing they’re doing recently shows that they can achieve a win against, well, anyone at this point. VANDALAY INDUSTRIES BY 4

 

D6/R4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

The Bambs 44, TMA 44

Jabronies 36, Practice Squad 16

Practice Squad 50, Jabronies 24

The Bi-Polar Express 50, pAssless Chaps 0

TMA 30, The Bi-Polar Express 17

 

Here’s what we learned this week in D6: NOTHING! Okay, we already knew that this has become a two horse race with Jabronies and Practice Squad. And what did that doubleheader show us? Nothing. The top tier of D6 teams (who should both look forward to D5 next season) split this doubleheader 1-1. Jabronies won by 20, and then Practice Squad won by 26. I have no idea who was/wasn’t there, but I can say that the D6 title game looks interesting. TMA went 1-0-1 on the weekend, but really shouldn’t have. The Bambs had only 5 players on the field due to a severe female shortage. They were winning the game rather easily for the most part as reporters have told me that “The one shaved head guy who was better than the other shaved head guy was killing it.”. And then tragedy struck, as Brooke, the only girl The Bambs had, broke her ankle. The Bambs were going to be forced to forfeit the game they were winning, and instead Ferger was a nice guy and suggested a tie. They didn’t want to win that way, and The Bambs pretty much were going to win if that didn’t happen. Solid move. Finally, The Bi-Polar Express showed up in a big way this weekend, avenging their 18-0 loss to the Chaps with a 50-0 win of their own a week later. However, girl shortages in the TMA game came into play (That’s the downside to having 3 girls from TMA on your gender team when you have to play them in your division) and they dropped a close one. It’s pretty clear who’s getting the bye in the playoffs, but where everyone else ends up is still in the air.

 

The Bambs vs pAssless Chaps (+8) – The Bambs have been sliding as of late, but that seems to be more due to a lot of attendance issues more than anything. There’s nothing like a game against the Chaps to cure what ails you though. THE BAMBS BY 10

 

Practice Squad vs pAssless Chaps (+16) – This might be the highest line I’ve ever given, but right now PS is on a roll and they’d love to keep pace with the Jabronies for the regular season crown. Not trying to hurt the Chaps’ feelings, but they’re in a rebuild right now with Coach Jay, and it’s going to take a little more time to really get it together. Have faith. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 13

 

The Bambs vs The Bi-Polar Express (+3) – I know, The Bambs just lost two weeks ago to BPX, and they’re on the downswing while BPX is playing some of their best football in team history. However, I still feel The Bambs have been shorthanded, and if the whole team shows up, I think they’ll look more like The Bambs from the first three weeks as compared to the last three weeks. THE BAMBS BY 7

 

Jabronies vs TMA (+10) – TMA struggled against a team with 5 people. They need to really figure things out, and a game against the Jabronies isn’t the best way to go about that. However, TMA DOES have an outside shot at the bye week still, and beating the Jabronies is necessary for that to happen. JABRONIES BY 7

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      How will the Ugandan Warriors respond after all of the ugliness that took place last week? Regardless of what happened, the Warriors need to recognize that they have a VERY good shot at the D5 title, and if they keep their focus, they’ll still be a force to be reckoned with.

 

2.      Will the D2/C2 teams get embarrassed by the D1/C1 teams? My magic 8-Ball says “No.” Watch for close games across the board, with perhaps only a blowout coming in the Marketing Mayors/Money Ball game. Like I said, at least TWO D2 teams are going to walk away with victories this week.

3.      Did you know about the TSL Universal Sub List? There were too many teams in need of a player this week that just completely ignored the Sub List. It’s literally there to make sure teams don’t play shorthanded! Rameer and Joe K cleaned up the USL this week and added a few more names to it to help out. Check it out.

 

4.      Who will win the Topper Wheel of Hope Spin? There’s some new rules for the wheel, which are as follows: We will no longer “spin until there’s a winner”. We will spin 5 times, and if there’s no winner, the money transfers over to the next week. There wasn’t a winner last Saturday, so this week’s bar tab is up to $100. There’s also some REALLY cool prizes coming to a Wheel of Hope near you.

 

5.      Who’s going to the East Aurora Music Festival? One thing I’ve been told is how much the league has been hanging out together after games, but not at the Rose Garden. People have gone out on Elmwood, to Hertel, to parties, etc. Its been pretty cool to hear. This week’s adventure has a lot of the TSL going to East Aurora for a fun time. If you go, let me know how it was!

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      I think the word is out that if you’re going to do anything stupid in terms of abusing the officials, you’re going to get in trouble. I’ll repeat this: They don’t HAVE to do this job. They do it because they love you/this league. Be civil.

 

2.      I have to give the shout out to Peanut Butter Kelly Time for winning their first game of the Breakfast Club season! Congrats! Predictions this week: Natural Born Kellers 27 - EmC HammerTime 26, Hot TaMolly’s 37 – Bern Them All 31, Schilling ‘Em Softly 34 – Peanut Butter Kelly Time 22.

 

3.      Congratulations are in order for the Brunettes! They had a huge 68-24(ish) win against the Blondes in the 10th annual Rivalz game to raise money for Alzheimer’s awareness. Just please, next year, schedule the game for ANY time that isn’t during Co-Ed football games. We’d all love to be there, I’m sure. And you’d raise more money with a cool game under the lights or something. Just a suggestion.

 

 

4.      What the hell Joey Batts? Topper goes out of his way to give your daughter a signed pair of championship cleats (something she’ll never get from her father, whoever he is) and you throw them back in his face? Come on man.

 

5.      I’m giving extreme credit to the QB Power Rankings article writers. (There’s more than one, believe it or not.) Those charts and graphs on how teams are doing are AMAZING work. Here’s some cool things I’d have never guessed:

 

a.      The Bi-Polar Express leads D6 in defense.

b.      End Game is MUCH further ahead of D4 then I once thought.

c.       Matty’s Angels is 8th in D5 defense. I knew they weren’t great, but wow.

d.      Slytherin That End Zone is the best team in D3. Go look.

e.      A&A has the lowest ranked offense, yet the top ranked defense in D2.

f.        Marketing Mayors is secretly the second best team in D1. This week’s game is going rock.

 

6.      Here’s the best games to watch this week:

10:00 – Field 4 – Cunning Stunts vs Matty’s Angels

11:00 – Field 2 - 1 Todd Too Many vs Energy Buff

12:00 – Field 1 – Marketing Mayors vs Eyes Downtown (Game of the Week)

1:00 – Field 2 – 3rd and Schlong vs Sticky Bandits

2:00 – Field 2 – Peachy Platoon vs Frodo Swaggins

3:00 – Field 2 – End Game vs Indecent Exposure

 

               Just camp out at Field 2 it seems.

 

7.      Some people aren’t too thrilled with my betting lines and odds. Perhaps the QB Power Rankings people can use their fancy maths to come up with the lines for the games somehow? If that’s possible, I’d love to use someone else’s lines. What do you say?

 

8.      Sign up for the Telegram app, and get chatting with your league mates. Like us on Facebook. Word is we may even be getting our Twitter rocking soon. And rumors of the Joe K TSL Podcast are growing stronger.

 

9.      Keep your calendars clear August 3rd! That’s the tentative date for hottest summer tournament: The TSL Wine Tournament! It’s one of the most fun days of the year for everyone, and all you have to do is play football and drink wine. Space is limited so when registration opens, have your team ready!

 

 

10.   The Lenny Alba Appreciation Day is June 15th! Rameer has asked that I spread the word that on the Friday Night before, June 14th, we’d like to get as many TSLers as we can to the Vue Rooftop Lounge for a night of fun, and we’ll have a big toast to our pal Lenny. His birthday was June 4th, and we miss him every single day.

 

 

Here we are, 5535 words later. I love this league. Wear Sunscreen. Be nice to refs, and each other. But seriously, go out and have some FUN this Saturday. My googling says you guys will have 75 degrees and a GORGEOUS day to play in. Perhaps I’ll fly in to Buffalo for the championship day to see you guys. Maybe not.

 

And yes, the ribs were delicious.

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