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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on this Saturday, the 17th day in the month of October in the Year of Our Lord 2020, after nearly a full year off, the race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality reaches it’s peak. 

 

That’s right, it’s time for the PLAYOFFS! 

 

Everything you’ve accomplished on the fields this season no longer matters. All that matters is winning your next few games and capturing that championship. When Saturday begins, all 44 of our glorious TSL franchises will have a shot to be called “Champions”. They will have a chance to etch their names into history, to become part of TSL lore. On this weekend, and during Championship Weekend on the 24th, the players who step up and make big plays will be remembered forever. But who will be the one making that play? Who will be the one people will sit and talk about in four seasons, after a few drinks, saying “Do you remember when “Player X” did THAT?”?

 

Is it you? If you’re unsure about that answer, ask yourself this: Why not me? Why aren’t YOU the one that’s going to make that big play for your team? Everything you’ve done for the last few months lead you to this point. Every single one of you that steps foot on the fields has a chance to make an amazing play (or plays!) that can lead your team, your friends, your family to victory. Regardless of what you may think of yourself as a player, everyone has that chance for immortality. There is no debate about that. 

 

It’s up to you to go out and make it happen. 

 

D1:

 

The Recap:  D1, like most things in the world nowadays, didn’t go exactly to plan. Sure, Public Enemy did what they do and went 7-1 en route to a first round bye in the playoffs. Not a surprise there. But if I had told you that Tight Ends In Motion would lose their starting QB to injury, not to mention losing Emily Curry and Maggie LaMantia as well, would you think that they’d be having a ‘good’ season? The answer is no, but the truth is this team has overcome some crazy downs and they’re on the ups. They snatched 2nd place under new QB Bro Kleckler (he’s the nice one that doesn’t kick plants) and a late season trade with Sticky Bandits to acquire Robin Makula, who’s been a breakout star this season. When things seemed to be at their worst, TEIM rattled off 4 straight wins and took second place. Marketing Mayors finished in the 3rd spot, which is just about right when you consider they may not have their whole team play a game together, except for a couple of games midseason. Gryffindor had a solid season, but nothing truly spectacular came from them. It should be noted again that this was the first season that they’ve gotten wins in the D1 regular season against actual D1 teams, which mean that Joey Batts and Co are still trending upwards. Joey’s been quiet for most of the season, so perhaps he’ll be back in all of his glory for the playoffs? Eyes Downtown finished a disappointed 5th, but most of that was due to the COVID outbreak that ran through the team. It’s hard to win at the D1 level when most of your team isn’t there, even with Bobby texting advice from his car in the parking lot. Finally, Why So Serious? finished 2-6, and they’re on the upswing ever since making the move to switch Pete from QB to WR. As a result, Pete is making more catches instead of throwing passes that would get dropped more than WSS would’ve liked. The WSS ladies have also been getting noticed lately, and Why So Serious? finds themselves in prime “upset” territory. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

Pubic Enemy (3-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (5-1)

Eyes Downtown (5-1)

Marketing Mayors (5-1)

Gryffindor (10-1)

Why So Serious? (50-1)

 

The Games:

 

#3 Marketing Mayors (4-4) vs #6 Why So Serious? (2-6)

Points For (Division Rank): MM – 30.29 (4th), WSS – 27.38 (6th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): MM – 28.00 (3rd), WSS – 36.13 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: MM 21st, WSS 40th

TSLQBPRC Line: Marketing Mayors (-7)

Past Game(s): Marketing Mayors 33, Why So Serious? 19

 

While Why So Serious should be incredibly proud of the strides they’ve been making recently, I don’t think its enough yet to take down the Mayors in the playoffs. The Marketing Mayors have been here many times: slightly underrated, and people sleep on them. Then all of a sudden they show up and “come out of nowhere” to win the title. This season feels like one of those years. MARKETING MAYORS BY 10

 

#4 Gryffindor (3-4) vs #5 Eyes Downtown (3-4)

Points For (Division Rank): Gryff – 32.71 (3rd), ED – 28.43 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Gryff – 34.86 (5th), ED – 33.00 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: Gryff 27th, ED 28th

TSLQBPRC Line: Eyes Downtown (-4)

Past Game(s): None

 

The best season in Gryffindor’s D1 history is also the worst in Eyes Downtown’s. Eyes Downtown is much better than this, and they should be challenging for the title when the smoke clears. Gryffindor, even if they lose this matchup, should be hopeful for next season as they continue to improve in our highest division. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

 

The Prediction:  I think when the smoke clears, we’ll see Public Enemy stand tall, defeating the Marketing Mayors in the final. 

D2:

 

The Recap: D2 is a very closely contested division where anyone can beat anyone. Just about any team can win the championship here, as we see every playoffs. As the season progressed, however, the Dilf’s showed why they should’ve been in D1 this season, cruising to a 7-2 record as they look to defend their title. Travis has done a great job of not only keeping his roster intact, but for smartly adding Casey Lawler, who returned to the TSL this season after some time off. When adding her to Val Bernal and Katie Keller, the Dilf’s boast one of the best female groups in the league. Add into the fact that Dubey has shown up for most of the season, and we’ve got ourselves one heck of a team. Not to be outdone, the Jabronies find themselves living up to the hype, scoring over 300 points this season. Joe Miano has looked more than fantastic at times, throwing the ball all over the place for Eric Klecker and Ben Stack to go get it. This team has come a long way from D6, that’s for sure. The Sticky Bandits slot in in 3rd place, and they’re the highest scoring team in the division. Their 5-4 record can be deceiving, they’re a very good team that has come up short in a few close ones. Jeff Krol has had this team playing together for what seems like forever, and that continuity is Sticky’s greatest strength. Dave Baker has had an excellent season, as has Brian Stevens. Mike Thomas has to be in the driver’s seat for D2 QBOTY as well. Slytherin That End Zone started off hot, but cooled off as the season progressed. A lot of that had to do with Taylor Pagano missing a few games in the middle of the season, as she’s the one thing SITE has needed for some time now: a top flight girl. Historically, its hard to get those to play with Newman on the team, so we’re not blaming Gary for that one. Speaking of Newman, when his head is on straight, he can be one of the best QBs in the league. Just ask him. SITE still boasts some excellent players (looking at you Dawson) and they’ll have a say in the championship for sure. Bullet Club comes in at their familiar 5th place position, after another season of a constant QB carousel. Add in some injuries to Glenn Bird and Zach Newberry, and it hasn’t been best of times. The offense is too inconsistent at times, so they have to rely on defense to win some games. Morning Wood finished 6th this season, not too bad for a team that took some time off before jumping right back into D2. Morning Wood actually boasts some “better than you think” female talent in Rachel Parker and Nicole Becker, and other than Mo Saleh, they have some elite speed at WR. Add into the fact that they’re learning to gel with their new QB, and they could very well be a tough out this year. I can’t fault Peachy Platoon for not living up to expectations. It’s very hard to maintain their level of play when they lose QB Dean Thompson for most of the season. He’s simply irreplaceable for what he brings to the table. Peachy still has loads of talent, starting with WR threat Leseaon Washington. Add into the mix a fantastic female crew headlined by Joy Thompson and Moriah Williamson and really, anything is possible. Finally, last year’s #1 overall seed, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO comes limping in at 1-7. It wasn’t the best of times for Team Topper, but that’s to be expected when you know his head was all over the place trying to figure out how to make this league happen for all of us. Add in a couple of unexpected losses to the roster and its no wonder that they had a down year. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

 

Dilfs (2-1)

Sticky Bandits (4-1)

Jabronies (5-1)

Slytherin that Endzone (7-1)

Bullet Club (7-1)

Peachy Platoon (8-1)

Morning Wood (12-1)

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (40-1)

 

The Games: 

 

#1 Dilfs (7-2) vs #8 HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (1-7)

Points For (Division Rank): Dilfs – 33.63 (3rd), HB – 29.25 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Dilfs – 26.00 (1st), HB – 33.13 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: Dilfs – 5th, HB – 43rd

TSLQBPRC Line: Dilfs (-14)

Past Game(s): Dilfs 49, Hofbrauhaus Buffalo 34

 

It’s not Topper’s fault. Like I’ve said, his roster took a few hits this offseason, and that’s hard to recover from. The Dilfs have been chugging along all season, and while the championship in D2 is never guaranteed, they’re not losing their chance at it here. The Dilfs will move on. DILFS BY 13

 

#2 Jabronies (6-3) vs #7 Peachy Platoon (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): Jabronies – 34.33 (2nd), PP 27.33 (6th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Jabronies – 27.56 (2nd), PP 37.56 (8th)

Overall TSL Rank: Jabronies 10th, PP 35th

TSLQBPRC Line: Jabronies (-18)

Past Game(s): Jabronies 52, Peachy Platoon 23

 

On paper, this seems like an incredible mismatch, and maybe it will be. We’ve said it all year: it matters if Dean is showing up or not. You’d love to think he wouldn’t be missing the playoffs, but life can always have other plans. The numbers for PP are lower than ever, which isn’t their fault. If they have their entire team, they’re MUCH better than the record shows. Don’t forget, they *did* lose Mo and Dave Wilbern this offseason, which is a pretty big hit to any team. But, even with Dean, I can’t imagine that he’d fix the worst defense in the division by that much. The Jabronies have proven they can score, and score a lot. Even if PP is at full strength, they’re still going to put points up. They have the defense to make some plays and stop Peachy in their tracks. JABRONIES BY 10, MORE IF NO DEAN

 

#3 Sticky Bandits (5-4) vs #6 Morning Wood (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): SB – 34.44 (1st), MW 25.33 (8th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): SB – 33.22 (7th), MW – 29.33 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: SB – 17th, MW – 32nd

TSLQBPRC Line: Sticky Bandits (-2)

Past Game(s): Sticky Bandits 37, Morning Wood 31

 

For as impressive as Sticky’s D2 leading offense has been all season, it’s distracted people from realizing that their defense just isn’t up to speed. At least not to their own standards. This is the kind of game that can give Sticky trouble. At their best, Morning Wood has multiple players that can stretch the field. This is the perfect matchup for them, of the top teams in D2. They’re one turnover away from taking it, provided their entire team shows up. They have the ability to keep pace with the Bandits, as their regular season matchup showed. This is going to be a great game, that’s for sure. UPSET ALERT: MORNING WOOD BY 3

 

#4 Slytherin That End Zone (5-4) vs #5 Bullet Club (4-4)

Points For (Division Rank): SITE – 31.11 (4th), BC – 25.75 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): SITE – 28.89 (3rd), BC – 32.25 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: SITE – 18th, BC – 22nd

TSLQBPRC Line: SITE (-5)

Past Game(s): Slytherin That End Zone 31, Bullet Club 28

 

These two teams have had a bit of rivalry the last few seasons, as both have had big come from behind victories after going down early. These two met in last year’s playoffs, where Bullet Club was victorious in what I think was also the 4-5 matchup. There’s a lot of differences from that game to this one. First off, SITE got better with the addition of Taylor. Meanwhile, Bullet Club has had a QB Carousel, and some key injuries. Right now, I think Bullet Club is going to struggle to score against the SITE Defense. This will come down to which QB blinks first, however. Will it be Newman? Will it be Ricky? I mean, Will it be Easton? It’s a possibility isn’t it? SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE BY 9

 

The Prediction: I hate going chalk, especially in a division that just feels so crazy. Everything about this feels like the Dilfs are going to repeat as champions. I could see a world where SITE defeats the Jabronies in the finals. I could see Sticky taking the title. What if Peachy just gets hot for the next two weeks? In the end though, I see the most logical conclusion: The Dilfs repeat as champs, beating Sticky in the finals. 

 

D3:

 

The Recap: All this was is Quinn this season for D3. AWDIQ came out and dominated just about everyone they played, with the weird exception of losing to Vaspian, but that wasn’t with Vince at QB. If the rumors are true, this is Quinn’s last shot at that elusive D3 title. They’ve been the favorite for multiple seasons, but the pressure always gets to them in the playoffs and they blow it. Hopefully, a bye week this week can help them stay prepared and focused. Scared Hitless was a new team, and they instantly showed they belonged in D3. Made up mostly of End Game with a dash of AWDIQ, Hitless really came together near the end of the season, and they’re playing their best football right now. Jonny Football is out here leading the charge, and after some early struggles, QB Dylan has started to figure things out. Mix in the three headed female monster of Cat, Jaimie, and Carly and this formidable team is a very tough out. Frodo Swaggins kind of zombie walked through the season. They didn’t play every week, and just casually ended up with a 5-2 record. That’s not to say they aren’t very good, but maybe its because they didn’t care much. Garrett Beesing is a husk of what he once was, at least according to the email I got from Scotty Dro, who declared himself a free agent after this season and is looking for a D1 team. Scotty says a lot of things though. Besides Garrett and Scotty, Nick Buczek (that has to be spelled wrong) is the best of the rest, and can make a difference if given the chance. Frodo boasts some talented females in Sarah and Tammy, so they’ll always be in any game. Grey Hair – Don’t Care finished 4th, as QB Dave’s newest passion project had an up and down season. After a hot start to the season, they faded a little down the stretch. They do have some fresh blood on the roster, but they’re still learning the game and how to play together. Look for good things in the future. The Untouchaballs showed up to D3 and fit right in immediately. They’re either a team from before that I don’t know about, or they’re just good at football. Either way, I still don’t know anything about them, like the rest of the TSL. En Fuego made the jump up to D3 after losing in the first round of the D5 playoffs to Cobblestone last season. It may have been ill advised, but they gutted out a 3-5 record and showed they belonged a bit more than anyone (myself included) realized. En Fuego’s biggest issue tends to be their antics on and off the fields that aren’t specifically football playing related, but when they have cooler heads, they can be good. Blasé is still learning the QB position but has made some progress in that area. Dorene is just wonderful as well. She deserves more shoutouts. Finally, the awesome people from Vaspian had a less than awesome season for a bit there, losing too many games out of the gate. They did pick up a big win against Quinn though, which means something, right? They actually play really good defense, and their woes tend to be more on the offensive side of things this year. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

All We Do Is Quinn (3-1)

Scared Hitless (4-1)

Frodo Swaggins (4-1)

Grey Hair (8-1)

The Untouchaballs (10-1)

En Fuego (35-1)

Vaspian (50-1)

 

The Games:

 

#6 En Fuego (3-5) vs #7 Vaspian (2-6)

Points For (Division Rank): EF – 25.33 (6th), Vaspian – 20.33 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): EF – 31.33 (7th), Vaspian – 26.00 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: En Fuego 30th, Vaspian 39th

TSLQBPRC Line: Vaspian (-2)

Past Game(s): En Fuego 7, Vaspian 0

 

The TSL’s Play-in game will kick off the day at 9am, and this is an interesting matchup. The TSLQBPRC line is right in line with my own thinking: I think Vaspian is the better team here. I don’t expect a miracle run from either of these teams (sorry guys), but when it comes down to it, I think Vaspian’s defense will stifle En Fuego more than they expected, and they’ll pull off the upset here: VASPIAN BY 3

 

#3 Frodo Swaggins (5-2) vs #6/#7 Play-In Winner

Points For (Division Rank): Frodo – 33.71 (2nd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Frodo – 26.43 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: Frodo – 13th

TSLQBPRC Line: Frodo (-10 vs Vaspian), Frodo (-12 vs En Fuego)

Past Game(s): Frodo Swaggins 38, En Fuego 26, Frodo did not play Vaspian this season

 

Regardless of who Frodo gets, they should undoubtedly be the favorite. Honestly, you could put together an En Fuego/Vaspian All-Star team and Frodo would still be favored. Vaspian might be able to keep the scoring down a little, but neither team has the talent to stick with the stars on Frodo. Add into it the significant upgrade in talent at QB, and all signs just point to Frodo having a nice tuneup before Championship Week. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 17, REGARDLESS

 

#4 Grey Hair – Don’t Care (4-4) vs #5 The Untouchaballs (3-5)

Points For (Division Rank): Grey – 25.57 (5th), The Untouchaballs – 27.13 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank):  Grey – 28.43 (6th), The Untouchaballs – 27.00 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank:  Grey Hair 20th, The Untouchaballs 29th

TSLQBPRC Line: The Untouchaballs (-3)

Past Game(s): Grey Hair 41, The Untouchaballs 30

 

The numbers support exactly what I feel here: this is going to be an incredibly close game. This game feels like a story of two teams headed in opposite directions though. The Untouchaballs are trending up, and Grey Hair might be slipping a little bit. Although, Grey may have more playoff experience, and that matters a little bit. I could see this being the game of the day, but I can’t shake the result my brain won’t go away from. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 3

 

The Prediction:  After all of the smoke clears from these battles, we’re going to see All We Do Is Quinn completely regret not having enough room for Cat’s boyfriend as Scared Hitless beats them in the championship. 

 

D4: 

 

The Recap: Buffalo Solar Solutions have come out and took control of D4 this year. They went undefeated in the division, only losing two D3/D4 crossover games (and getting AWDIQ twice, woof) in the season. QB Andy Clark loves to toss the long ball, but the real story was BSS’ defense throughout the season. They’re not just 1st in D4, they’re first by a lot. They allow, on average, 5.75 less per game than the next team. Very impressive stuff here, and standout defender Brett Cole is a huge reason why. The Angels finished in 2nd, but they’re not the Angels we’re used to. Bobby was in for Matty, although the team played better with Travis throwing during the season. The Angels also lost a few of their better girls to injury along the way, which made for an average season for their standards. Uncle Rico’s come in in 3rd place, but these guys can play too. Jon Senn’s crew scored points by the bunches, and QB Timmy Z is really coming into his own. Add in playmakers like Chris Nelson, Deak, and of course Jackee Thompson and this team is the last one you want to get into a shootout with. Defending D5 champs, Over Compensators, are right where they want to be. In 4th place, with nobody believing in them. They like playing a bit under the radar. QB Larry isn’t making the headlines he did last session, but The OC has still been solid all around. Family Feud and some dudes are a new team, and I still know nothing about their roster as well. Whispers have told me that they understand offense very well, but their defense is just abysmal, and it takes the offense scoring on every drive for them to be in games. In a shocker, the Cunning Stunts find themselves at 2-6 this year, but a lot of that had to do with roster issues. It’s hard to win games when you don’t constantly get players like Kelly Liddle, Emily Schilling, and Amanda Werth to show up. A down year for the Stunts, but it’s a down year for everyone. Finally, the TSL’s own Tennessee Titans, the Freeballers, bring up the rear at 1-6. 40 year plan guy’s foray into D4 did not go anywhere near as planned. QB Boy George looks lost half the time, and when he isn’t, his receivers are. This is what happens when you put together a team of the 3rd best guy on a bunch of D4 – D6 teams and expect the best. Jokes aside, there’s a lot of room for improvement here. Their defense is actually pretty good, and their girls are as well. It’s just going to take some time to gel as a team. They DID get their first win though, so kudos to them! 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

Buffalo Solar Solutions (2-1)

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (4-1)

The Angels (5-1)

Cunning Stunts (8-1)

Over Compensators (9-1)

Family Feud (15-1)

Freeballers (1,000,000 – 1)

 

The Games:

 

#6 Cunning Stunts (2-6) vs #7 Freeballers (1-5)

Points For (Division Rank): CS – 39.88 (4th), FB – 23.00 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): CS – 46.00 (6th), FB – 37.17 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: Cunning Stunts 37th, Freeballers 42nd

TSLQBPRC Line: Cunning Stunts (-3)

Past Game(s): Cunning Stunts 37, Freeballers 21

 

The Freeballers just don’t score enough to keep pace with most teams, especially a gender team. I say that knowing that they just beat The Angels too. The Stunts allow some points for sure, but nobody can really blame the Freeballers for not being quite in sync, given all they’ve dealt with this session. CUNNING STUNTS BY 6

 

#3 Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (5-3) vs #6/#7 Play-in Winner

Points For (Division Rank): URTT – 42.00 (1st)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): 38.50 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: URTT – 16th

TSLQBPRC Line: Uncle Rico’s (-10 vs the Stunts, -13 vs Freeballers)

Past Game(s): Uncle Rico’s 53, Cunning Stunts 44. Uncle Rico’s did not play Freeballers this season.

 

There’s not much I can say here. If the Stunts win, they can’t stop Uncle Rico’s from scoring a bunch, and if the Freeballers win, they can’t score enough to keep up with Uncle Rico’s. Much like D3, this is just a tune up for URTT. UNCLE RICO’S BY 8 VS STUNTS, UNCLE RICOS BY 17 VS FREEBALLERS

#4 Over Compensators (3-5) vs #5 Family Feud (2-5)

Points For (Division Rank): OC – 34.63 (6th), FF – 40.00 (3rd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): OC – 40.75 (5th), FF – 48.71 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: OC 31st, Family Feud 36th

TSLQBPRC Line: Over Compensators (-2)

Past Game(s): First meeting. 

 

What a time to have your first game, eh? The OC and FF meet up in a nice 4/5 matchup here. To me, the OC’s offense should be a bit better. I know they had some attendance issues in the past, and I think that gives the feeling this is closer than it should be. They’re going to score a lot this game, and FF can’t stop it. But I’m not sure FF can score every time. OVER COMPENSATORS BY 9

 

The Prediction: Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers will end up squeaking by Buffalo Solar Solutions in a high scoring championship game. 

 

D5: 

 

The Recap: Mountain Dew Me just beat the hell out of everyone. Somehow, the Topper Standings have calculated that Practice Squad is the #1 seed based on an MDM forfeit to ruin a perfect season. Real weak stuff there, McGregors. Anyway, these two teams are just a class above the rest and both should graduate to D4 next season regardless of playoff outcome. Practice Squad fixed their QB issues when they signed B off the TSL Sublist. He’s given their offense a bit of life that they were missing, and now they’re looking to get that D5 title they’ve been trying for for so long. Cobblestone went 6-0-1 against everyone other than MDM and PS. That’s AWESOME. Darryl Carr QB Superstar has once again shown that he is immortal and that nobody should ever doubt him. I don’t know what tricks he’s got in his cargo pants for the playoffs, but I know that I’ll be rooting for him. The D6 champions from last season, Zack Attack, find themselves in 4th place for their first year in D5. Not bad at all. They have the ability to give the Top 2 a good game, especially if they limit their mistakes along the way. PTERATACOS really fixed whatever issues they had last session, and the Buscaglias brought a much nicer demeanor to the fields this season. That zen like focus has them smack in the middle of things. The Interdimensional Lightning Falcons need a shorter name. Besides that, this TSL new team definitely took their lumps along the way, but they really figured things out as the season went on. Lead by Andrew Kicak and D5 Male MVP candidate Alex Baker, ILF is on the upswing. TOX comes in next, as Topper’s adventures in D5 were renewed this season. This team is chock full of TSL royalty, with some new faces sprinkled in. They may not have beaten many on the field, but they’re always winning at the bar. Finally, Intentional Pounding comes in 8th place, as the stripped down version of 3rd and Schlong couldn’t get it going. Everyone blames 40 year plan guy for this, even if a lot of it is Katie Keller’s fault for turning her back on her family. That tells you all you need to know about here. Either way, Scott Jr, Mr. Keller, Nicole, and the rest of the team are some of the TSL’s best people, so if you need a team next session, they might need you. If you have talent. Even if you don’t. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

Mountain Dew Me (1-2)

Practice Squad (2-1) 

Cobblestone (10-1)

Zack Attack (12-1)

ILF (17-1)

PTERATACOS (25-1)

TOX (50-1)

Intentional Pounding (100-1)

 

The Games:

 

#1 Practice Squad (7-1) vs #8 Intentional Pounding (1-8)

Points For (Division Rank): PS – 35.50 (2nd), IP – 15.78 (8th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): PS – 13.63 (2nd), IP – 37.78 (8th)

Overall TSL Rank: Practice Squad 1st, Intentional Pounding 44th

TSLQBPRC Line: Practice Squad (-22)

Past Game(s): Practice Squad 26, Intentional Pounding 6

 

Technically, this is the highest ranking TSL team against the worst ranking TSL team, based on the invisible Topper math rankings. It’s not going to go well for Team Keller. But, they have a chance to pull off the biggest upset of all time, potentially. So there’s that. Practice Squad got an easier game than they should’ve this week. I don’t know if they’ll cover the spread. Mountain Dew Me would. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 20

 

#2 Mountain Dew Me (7-1) vs #7 TOX (2-7)

Points For (Division Rank): MDM – 38.25 (1st), TOX – 20.78 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): MDM – 6.25 (1st), TOX – 34.11 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: Mountain Dew Me 2nd, TOX 41st

TSLQBPRC Line: Mountain Dew Me (-28)

Past Game(s): Mountain Dew Me 36, TOX 6

 

There isn’t much to say here. MDM is a machine, and TOX, despite being lovable and the People’s Champions, just can’t keep up with them. This might be a blood bath. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 32

 

#3 Cobblestone (6-2-1) vs #6 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): Cobblestone – 22.56 (6th), ILF – 22.89 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Cobblestone – 20.78 (3rd), ILF – 32.67 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: Cobblestone 6th, ILF 34th

TSLQBPRC Line: Cobblestone (-4)

Past Game(s): Cobblestone 35, ILF 31 and Cobblestone 26, ILF 17

 

These teams have played two close games so far this year. Even with ILF on the upswing, Cobblestone has been hot all year. Their defense has been amazing so far, and that’s largely why they’re 6-2-1. I just can’t quite imagine a way that ILF wins this one, unless Darryl shows up late to the game or something. But he’d never do that, right? RIGHT? COBBLESTONE BY 8

 

#4 Zack Attack (4-5) vs #5 PTERATACOS (3-5-1)

Points For (Division Rank): ZA – 25.00 (4th), Pteratacos – 26.22 (3rd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): ZA – 22.22 (4th), Pteratacos – 28.44 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: Zack Attack 23rd, Pteratacos 26th

TSLQBPRC Line: Zack Attack (-2)

Past Game(s): Zack Attack 37, Pteratacos 25 and Zack Attack 37, Pteratacos 20

 

Zack Attack just has the speed to run by the Pteratacos. It’s a good matchup for the Attack, as they showed in both of their wins. It also seems like they’ll score 37 points this week too. The numbers suggest this one should be closer, but I just can’t see it. ZACK ATTACK BY 14

 

The Prediction: Mountain Dew Me blows by Practice Squad. Chalk, I know, but I don’t care. This division is pretty obvious. 

 

D6:

 

The Recap: Arguably the TSL’s most even division, D6 showed us flashes of greatness AND lowlights from every single team in it. There is no such thing as a “surprise” winner here, and that’s great. Graves Bros took the top spot from the regular season, going 7-1 and looking impressive most times. The unique scenario of having that fake Gronk guy rush the QB makes the opposition uncomfortable a bit. They also sport better than you realize females. The Tater Tots ended up in 2nd place, as they’ve truly started to figure things out. They got a real QB this year (or at least, he turned into one, I don’t know if it’s the same one) and the addition of Drunk Meg really gives them a solid team. Dave knows what he’s doing in terms of team building for sure. The Bambs looked like they’d run away with the division in the beginning of the season before sliding back a bit, which brings up some worries for the playoffs. After a very rough start, TMA fought their way to 4-4-1 and they’re looking more like the team we thought they’d be this year. Even after losing Drunk Meg and Steph, the TMA girls of Val Testa, Diana Bernal, and Lauren stepped up a lot. The biggest problems remain on the offensive side of that ball, perhaps under center. Some timely drops and some missed reads have this team lower than they should be in the standings. Blitzkrieg had a heck of a coming out party this season, going 3-4-1, but looking really good at times. Light Red Hoodie guy is a monster, and QB Alex really made some strides. The biggest thing for them though is Allie, who’s been impressing people all across the TSL and she may be a shoe in to be nominated for a few awards this offseason. PC Plumbing looks VERY good, and then VERY bad and keeps going up and down. Right now, they’re hot. Lenny’s Ladies had a decent start to their existence, going 3-6 as they figured out what to do on defense. Emerging female stars like Robin, Marla, Laura, and others really helped them out as the season went on. The BiPolar Express seemed poised to win the division after many seasons of improvement, but had quite a rough go at it this season for various reasons. If the entire team shows, however, they’ll be a tough out. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship

Graves Bros (4-1)

The Bambs (5-1)

PC Plumbing (7-1)

Tater Tots (8-1)

TMA (8-1)

Blitzkrieg (10-1)

The BiPolar Express (15-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (17-1)

 

The Games:

 

#1 Graves Bros (7-1) vs #8 The BiPolar Express (2-6)

Points For (Division Rank): GB – 33.38 (2nd), BPX – 27.50 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): GB – 28.38 (4th), BPX – 34.75 (8th)

Overall TSL Rank: Graves Bros 4th, The BiPolar Express 38th

TSLQBPRC Line: Graves Bros (-6)

Past Game(s): Graves Bros 36, The BiPolar Express 32 and Graves Bros 36, The BiPolar Express 26

 

These two teams play each other pretty closely most of the time. A big reason BPX is so low in the standings is due to the consistent roster issues that tend to plague gender teams. With the way the schedule works out for playoffs, that won’t be an issue this time around. This has Game of the Day potential. Here comes the fun. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 6

 

#2 Tater Tots (5-3-1) vs #7 Lenny’s Ladies (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): TT – 25.78 (6th), LL – 24.00 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): TT – 22.56 (2nd), LL – 32.78 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: Tater Tots 11th, Lenny’s Ladies 33rd

TSLQBPRC Line: Tater Tots (-5)

Past Game(s): Tater Tots 20, Lenny’s Ladies 9 and Tater Tots 34, Lenny’s Ladies 0

 

The Tots just shutout the Ladies last week, but the girls had a lot of their roster missing. As a result I’d expect something more similar to the first matchup. The Ladies have a chance to win if they can get a stop or two, but when they do it’ll be on QB Easton to not give it right back. TATER TOTS BY 3

 

#3 The Bambs (5-3) vs #6 PC Plumbing (3-5-1)

Points For (Division Rank): The Bambs – 34.00 (1st), PCP – 30.89 (3rd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank):  The Bambs – 28.38 (3rd), PCP – 31.78 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: The Bambs 15th, PC Plumbing 25th

TSLQBPRC Line: The Bambs (-3)

Past Game(s): PC Plumbing 36, The Bambs 6 and The Bambs 44, PC Plumbing 32

 

We’ve got a heck of game here too. The teams split their season series, so who’s going to take this one? Well, I like to take the hot hand, and PC has been on of the hotter teams in the TSL the last month, where as The Bambs haven’t been as good. UPSET ALERT: PC PLUMBING BY 4

 

#4 TMA (4-4-1) vs #5 Blitzkrieg (3-4-1)

Points For (Division Rank): TMA – 23.00 (8th), Blitzkrieg – 30.38 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): TMA – 20.00 (1st), Blitzkrieg – 29.88 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: TMA 19th, Blitzkrieg 24th

TSLQBPRC Line: TMA (-1)

Past Game(s): TMA 33, Blitzkrieg 20 and TMA 28, Blitzkrieg 16

 

They say defense wins championships, and that’s yet to be true for TMA. Once again they boast a fantastic defense, but their offense was dead last in division which is nuts. Blitzkrieg finds themselves in the middle of both categories. But, the results don’t lie: TMA plays very well against BK, as proven by two double digit wins this season. Granted, one was apparently with JOHNNY DIO last week, but that shouldn’t matter. As long as TMA can find the endzone, they should win. If this game is low scoring though, BK can take it. TMA BY 3

 

The Prediction: This is going to be crazy, but look for PC Plumbing to take the championship over Tater Tots in the finals. 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDA Y: 

 

1. Will roster checks be available for illegal players? Yes, yes they will. All captains should have received an email that the Orange Shirt Brigade will be walking around checking rosters should they be asked. Don’t try to pull a fast one. You know who you are. 

 

2. Who is the #1 seed most likely to be upset? Well, I think D6 is so crazy that Graves Bros better not get too comfortable. Ever. 

 

3. Who’s got the best chance at an unlikely run to the finals? Slytherin That End Zone might be the 4 seed, but they have a great shot to win the championship. However, based on seeding alone, the answer is Peachy Platoon. They can definitely win this thing with Dean, if he shows up.

4. Are the rumors true about the TSL winter league? Well, they aren’t rumors anymore. Topper announced that we’re having an 8-10 team league starting in January. Sign up today, as we already have 4 teams signed up! 

 

5. Who would be the sentimental favorites in each division? D1 – Tight Ends in Motion, D2 – Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, D3 – All We Do Is Quinn, D4 – Buffalo Solar Solutions, D5 – Cobblestone, D6 – TMA. If all of those teams somehow won their championships next weekend, what a party it’ll be. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Be respectful of the referees. I know things get heated because it’s playoffs, but that doesn’t mean you get to be a jerk about it. Shout out to Jordan Lawson, who took the time to email me about how much fun he’s had in the league and that you’ve all accepted him as one of your own. Great work out there. 

 

2. I really think we’re going to see a couple of upsets this weekend. I don’t feel bad saying BiPolar will beat Graves Bros, and I think we could see something fun like ILF beating Cobblestone. 

3. This just in: If you haven’t seen yet, ALL D1 games are being pushed to 10/24. IF YOU PLAY IN D1, YOU DO NOT HAVE A GAME THIS WEEK. 

 

4. Special shout out to the Orange Shirt Brigade. They’ve spent their time checking the gates all year. Coach Jay was awesome with running the refs. Travis deserves a lot of credit for his behind the scenes work as well, especially with the sublist. 

5. Can someone please get B’s Brother to the fields? COME ON. 

6. The weather doesn’t look too lovely this weekend. Have fun with that. 

 

7. I really hate picking a lot of #1 seeds to win the championship, but its hard to bet against Public Enemy, Dilfs, AWDIQ, Buffalo Solar, and Mountain Dew Me this year. 

8. Alternate Universe Champions if NO #1 seeds win? Marketing Mayors, Sticky Bandits, Frodo Swaggins, Uncle Rico’s, Practice Squad, TMA

 

9. Shoutout to Sticky Bandits and Dilfs for making a bet on their game recently. It’s fantastic to see teams still doing that. And SHAME ON YOU SENTINEL. Kevin Zack, the 49 year old wonder man who probably isn’t human is *quite* miffed with you disrespecting him. For someone who’s whole bit is “watching” things, maybe you should see a little bit better. (I’m here for you Kevin.)

10. THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE! WE DID IT! Seriously, go out and have a ton of fun. Don’t take this Saturday for granted. Have fun and take care of each other. YOU are the reason this is the best football league in the galaxy. Good luck!

What’s YOUR ranking that I’ll be watching from the cut? 

 

-GF

 

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