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Ladies and Gentleman of the ever expanding TSL Universe, hello. Finally, a sense of normalcy comes to your friend The Godfather, as I get to do one of my favorite tasks in April: Write about the TSL! Last year was so weird, so different. I hope all of you navigated a crazy 2020 as safely as possible. I woke up with excitement knowing I’d be able to talk about the absolute greatest social co-ed football league in the world. And the first thing I did was check the weather in Buffalo. And man, did that excitement die down.

 

I’m kidding. But snow during opening week of the TSL after some nice weather not too long ago is more than likely Lenny’s way of “having a laugh”. The weather isn’t that much better here in Des Moines, so I can’t even gloat. But what I CAN gloat about is how spectacular this league has become.

 

You see, on Saturday, April 24^th, in the Year of Our Lord 2021, SIXTY TSL franchises across 7 divisions will begin the race for social co-ed football immortality. Sixty teams is incredible! Not only do we have our usual litany of returning teams, but we’ve added a bunch of new blood as well! Some of the area’s greatest teams and players that have yet to step foot on the hallowed fields at the Rose Garden finally realized what we’ve been saying all along – The TSL is the place to be when it comes to an awesome football Saturday experience!

 

Of course, along with the fact that there’s a ton of new people, that means I definitely won’t know a bunch of you. With that, allow me to formally introduce myself. I am The Godfather of the TSL. I’ve been writing a weekly article for the football league that I love for forever at this point. I used to play in the league but work and life sent me away to move to my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa. For quite some time I could only talk to people through fax. My advisors from the fields give me a lot of information but they can’t get to everyone. It’s impossible! So please, take a second to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to talk to me about your team and your players! If you want publicity, this is one sure fire way to get it done!

 

Thank you for joining our Topper Sports family here. You’ll be wonderfully taken care of, I know it. And as to those who have been through my schtick a thousand times by now, welcome back! Before we really get into what you’re all here for (Championship Odds and Game Predictions, of course), let’s just have a quick refresher course:

 

All of the COVID-19 protocols from the #TSL2020 season are in effect once again this season. We don’t want the state to come in and try to shut us down again so we’re adhering to the action plan they gave us until we get the green light to make any changes. Topper worked so hard to get us a league to play in last season when nobody else would, so let’s continue to make sure his work doesn’t go waste. I know it sucks, but it’s the way things have to be for now. Bring your masks, sign into the app to check in at the gate, and please use the proper entrance and exits to the fields. Thanks guys! We knocked it out of the park last year, let’s do it again!

With that out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff:

 

D1:

 

Championship Odds:

Public Enemy (2-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (3-1)

Eyes Downtown (10-1)

Why So Serious? (18-1)

Sticky Bandits (25-1)

Sloppy Seconds (30-1)

 

D1 this season is really shaping up to be a two-horse race this time around. As usual, at the top, is Public Enemy, one of the TSL’s greatest franchises waiting to be knocked off the mountain. They bring along the usual suspects, Chris Cole at QB, MVP Boccio, Cheryl and Heather etc. You know this team. Their only real battle anymore is the battle with Father Time. There’s more salt than pepper in Cole’s beard, and the ticking clock that’s chasing them down is starting to get a little louder. Looking to dethrone PE is Tight Ends In Motion. TEIM was an eyelash away from winning the D1 championship last season before blowing it in spectacular fashion. TEIM has one thing going for them though: They’re healthy now. Last season, they lost Emily Curry early to an injury and “Porkchop” Katie Salisbury took the year off. Now they’re back and adding “injury replacement but ended up being a superstar” Robin Makula to the mix gives Tight Ends the absolute best group of females in the league. Bro is back at QB for good, as he won the job after how well the team performed around him after last year’s 0-4 start. Eyes Downtown was a mess last season, and after finishing 5^th in the division (despite a hell of a playoff game against PE) it seems Bobby has cut the entire roster and is just starting from scratch. There’s a lot of new names on this roster, so it’ll be fun to see just how they mesh on the field. Why So Serious finds themselves in an interesting spot. They really came on at the end of the year, and nobody in D1 improved as much as they did from start to finish in 2020 (Yes, even TEIM). If they can still ride the momentum they found when Pete stepped away from the QB spot and handed the ball to Terrell Bolden, they can beat any team in this division. Yeah that’s right! You’re seeing “Sticky Bandits” in D1. Props to Jeff Krol and company for not only winning D2 as a 6 seed last season, they still went the honorable route and followed the unspoken rule on “If you win you division you move up the next year”. However, that was with Dave Baker. The sporting world’s biggest decision since LeBron took his talents to South Beach lasted most of the offseason, where Baker stabbed Sticky in the heart and stuck with Tight Ends In Motion. I mean, seems like a poor move since Sticky won their championship and TEIM blew a 20 point lead with 11 minutes to go. Joking aside, Baker was put in a real Sophie’s Choice situation and I don’t envy that. On the plus side, Sticky will be okay. Their replacement for Dave Baker is essentially what you would get if you made a Captain America Super Solider Serum out of Baker’s DNA and put it in an athletic, youthful body: Dean Thompson. Dean can make up for the loss of Baker, and he’s smart enough to be able to figure out the Sticky system they’ve cultivated for 100 years quickly. Even so, at the end of the day, Sticky was only the 6^th seed in D2 last season. I can’t imagine a miracle run for the title happening. And last but not least, we have Sloppy Seconds. Great team name when you consider that this is Alex Buchlis’ new D1 team. Alex, for those who don’t know, used to be the QB for Sticky Bandits, and he was the TEIM QB before he got hurt last season, resulting in the Bledsoe – Brady situation TEIM found themselves in. I don’t know much about who is on Alex’s roster yet, but if it’s a bunch of players who have been “forgotten” by other rosters out there as is rumored, it could be a nice mix of talent!

 

**For the new people out there**

               Last season, I was actually asked about what the numbers mean for the lines, and I realized not everyone in the league is a degenerate gambler, just most of them. So when I do my picks for the league week, you’ll see the following: Team A (-4) vs Team B or sometimes Team C vs Team D (+7). What this means is that Team A is getting 4 points taken away from them to “even out” the game. Essentially, A is expected to beat B by 4 or more points. Team C vs Team D is the same thing the opposite way. In this case, Team D would be getting 7 points added to their score, meaning Team C is expected to win by 7 or more. No, these numbers do not actually get added/subtracted to the score in the real game, but for the purposes of picking winners, it’s a way to make the games more even, and thus harder to pick. As you’ll see in a second, when I say TEAM A BY 3 or TEAM C by 10, I’m saying that “I think Team A will win the game by 3 points (And not cover the 4 point spread)” or “Team C will win by 10 points (thus covering the point spread by 3 points).

 

Okay, I probably just made this harder on some of you. ON TO THE GAMES…

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Not much excitement in D1 this week honestly. It seems like the Top 3 teams are all going to be playing the bottom 3 teams, which makes for a boring day of football. Wow Topper. 17 hours over 3 days to do the schedule and this is how you start D1?

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Sticky Bandits (+14) – At the very least, we get the Dave Baker “Which Team Was He Catfishing All Offseason?” Bowl. Tight Ends vs Sticky has been a long time coming, but in this current iteration of both teams, it won’t have quite the excitement we want. Welcome to D1, Sticky. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 20.

 

Public Enemy vs Sloppy Seconds (+27) – The defending D1 champs against, well, I don’t really know yet. Public Enemy gets a really fun tune up game for the season. Sloppy will have to wait a week before their season really begins. But hey, it’ll be fun to practice, right? PUBLIC ENEMY BY 24

 

Eyes Downtown vs Why So Serious? (+15) – I think the 15 points is a little too high here. Eyes Downtown is revamped, even though there have been reports of Bobby putting the team through intense offseason training workouts to get to know each other better. But practice doesn’t equate to games. WSS deserves more credit than that. I think it’s going to be a close one here. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3.

 

D2:

 

Championship Odds:

Everyone (10-1)

 

I’m almost serious here, as the TSL’s most exciting division just got even better this season. The teams from top to bottom are as close as they can be, and finding some favorites just feels insane. But here are the real numbers:

 

Peachy Platoon (4-1)

A&A (6-1)

#XTC (6-1)

Passed Our Prime (7-1)

Bullet Club (10-1)

Slytherin That End Zone (10-1)

When Dove Cries (16-1)

Losing Streak (18-1)

Scared Hitless (18-1)

Mountain Dew Me (19-1)

 

               But even then, this is still a hard division to call here. Peachy Platoon comes in as preseason favorites after a not so great season for one very good reason: Dean Thompson has returned to QB. Dean is a spectacular athlete, and not having him showed how rough a season can be for the Platoon. The revenge tour (if this team is even capable of revenge, they’re SO nice) begins this Saturday. Speaking of returning QBs, Matty Ice is making is return to the fields after a year off to perfect his video game career. But A&A will look a bit different this season, as Travis has made his yearly “I cant stay on one team too long” switch to another franchise, bringing Val with him of course. A&A should be quite competitive this year. And if you’re the Dilfs, what do you do when Travis breaks up with you and leaves you for someone else? Well, you go back to your roots, become XTC again, and get two players better than Travis anyway in the returning Joe Russell and Eric Flynn. XTC looks to be very good this season, it’s a shame they didn’t go battle in D1. Passed Our Prime had a heck of a showing in the TSL Indoor league this winter, finishing with the top record and going toe to toe with a lot of the TSL’s best players. They fell short of a championship there, but they got infinitely better by bringing along our old friend Bloomfield. Derrick (Darrick?) is a human highlight reel and is probably too good to be in D2, but here we are. Bullet Club spent their offseason spending lots of money in free agency. The roster looks to be revamped as they signed Rawdog away from Quinn and added Steph Czaja to the female side of things. Of course, they tried the 5 girls on the roster thing before and it blew up in their faces, so here’s hoping they figured it out this time around. But most importantly, BC added Scotty Drosendahl to be the QB this season. Scotty has always had the talent to be one of the league’s best, and now he finally has the supporting cast to get him there. SITE finally had that breakout season they’ve been waiting for. They’re not NOT in the “favorites” to win the title this season, and they only reason they’re ranked lower than maybe they should be is that they didn’t really add anyone this season. Except I noticed Seth on their roster, so if Bad Newman comes to play, perhaps they already have his replacement ready at QB. When Dove Cries is Topper’s entrant into the TSL world this season. Hofbrauhaus finally opens and takes away their sponsorship. Weird. Anyway, WDC returns a lot of talent that they were missing due to injury and/or opting out from COVID, which will immediately get them back on the right track. As usual, this team lives and dies by the arm of Topper, who was recently seen looking for bionic arms in order to extend his career by 20 years. Losing Streak comes to us this season, as Jordan Lawson had so much fun reffing our games last year that he just HAD to be a part of it. Jordan is a smart QB, and there are some names that I vaguely recognize on his squad (and one that I know, Chris Nelson) which means if this team can adjust to the TSL style of play quickly, we’re looking at a really good bet at 18-1 here. Scared Hitless did in one season what All We Do Is Quinn couldn’t in ten years: win D3, and as a result, they moved up like the heroes they are. Adding free agents isn’t a problem here either as Brandon Farr has added his childhood hero, his brother Jeff, to the squad. That makes an already impressive team that much more impressive. There may still be a learning curve though, and questions about if Dylan can play D2 seamlessly are there. Finally, we come to Mountain Dew Me. The various Swedish clones demolished D5 last season and decided to jump up to D2. Mind you, this is the team that got smacked in D4 the year before. But there’s one little, tiny, short difference: Joey Batts. The MDM FA signing of both Battaglias (Jill and Joey that is) AND Glasses can only mean great things, but I don’t know if it’s enough for a three division jump.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

A&A vs Slytherin That End Zone (+3) – The brand new A&A hasn’t really played a game together yet, where as SITE is still largely the same group. Watch for SITE to capitalize on a few A&A mistakes, or, “growing pains” here. SITE BY 6

 

When Dove Cries vs Scared Hitless (+4) – Another Grade A matchup from D2. The QBs are about even, and while the males players on Scared Hitless are more athletic, the males on WDC are smarter (No, Topper isn’t included here). This game will come down to the ladies. If Joey is now a consistent part of the roster to go along with Jaimie, Carly, and Cat, Hitless may boast the best girl squad in D2. But, Kelly and the Clarkes are no slouches either. SCARED HITLESS BY 1.

 

Peachy Platoon vs Losing Streak (+5) – Team brand new to the TSL vs one of the most dominant teams in recent memory that just got the band back together? Leseaon scores twice here. Don’t forget about him. PEACHY PLATOON BY 13.

 

Bullet Club vs Passed Our Prime (+4) – I was informed by the TSLQBRC (who makes the lines for us don’t forget) that POP may be without their QB for the first week, hence the line being a little screwy based off preseason projections. It’s hard to win a game without your QB, and Bullet Club has been the posterchild of that scenario for years now. BULLET CLUB BY 8

 

#XTC vs Mountain Dew Me (+13) – I really hate harping on MDM because they DID add Joey, but until proven otherwise, a three division jump still feels too high so quickly. I hope Joe Russell wears the Ultimate Warrior tassels. Please send a pic if he does. XTC BY 8

 

 

D3:

 

Championship Odds:

 

All We Do Is Quinn (3-1)

Matty’s Angels (5-1)

Top Shot (6-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (6-1)

The Untouchaballs (8-1)

Frodo Swaggins (10-1)

Wolfpack (20-1)

Vaspian (22-1)

 

               D3 finds itself in a very weird place this season. The teams that have been here really didn't get much improved, and most, if anything, got worse in some places. Meanwhile the new kids on the block to D3 really are the ones that could make some noise. All We Do Is Quinn finds themselves at the top of the odds rankings heading into the season, while they don't seem to have added much to the team, honestly, they didn't have to. Yes, they lost Rawdin to D2, but that loss won't hurt nearly as much as the loss of Cat Peters the year before. Quinn always seems to have another ginger man ready to step in. The good news for Quinn is that thier biggest problems from last year: Scared Hitless and Frodo Swaggins are either gone or got worse. But there are other, new problems for them this season. Matty's Angels is one of them. This team of bad ass women ran roughshod over D4 for too long now, and finally, with Matty back in the fold, the best gender team in the history of the TSL (yeah Cole, i said it) takes thier talents to D3 to finally look for some competition. Ironically, they find it in the form of old nemesis Blase LaDuca, who brings TopShot to the league this season. From what i've been told by the powers that be, Blase attempted to put in a team of D1 players and himself and pass it off as a D3 team. While yes, he brings them down, that wasn't going to happen. However, Blase does have himself a promising QB in Dylan Jaloza and even with a "toned down" roster, they still sport D1 newcomer (And potential rookie of the year candidate) Adrian Cannon and the poster child for a super good talent playing in divisions he's way too good for in Chris Nelson (Seriously, they named an award after him). This team is going to be a tough out, it just depends how long it takes them to put it all together. Grey Hair Don't Care slots in right behind them, and while this team doesn't have many roster changes it seems, they don't need it. This team has been playing together all off season as they perfect thier craft, and they'll be in every single game they play. The Untouchaballs come back, and I still don't know who any of them are. They can score, but they can't stop anyone. If they make even some slight improvements on defense, they become an instant sleeper team. Frodo Swaggins is a bit of a changeover this season. With Scotty Dro gone, Garrett becomes the full time QB. This is good and bad. The good is that Garrett isn't too bad of a QB, especially with reps. The bad is that the team loses him and his suspect hands on offense, unless he's learned the Mr. Perfect 100 yard throw and catch to himself. This team has a returning Josh and Kristen, and Emily Schilling makes her "i'm not hurt anymore" return as well, plus Nick and Tammy are always good for every game they play. Things aren't completely hopeless, don't get me wrong, its just needing to gel as a team in a different way. Up next, the TSL's long standing "it" couple of JZ and Garbacz have entered a team, which you just know one thing: It's going to be full of handsome men. (oh hello Russ Santucci and Ward Blewitt. I told you.) This team has a lot of potential, so its going to be quite interesting to see how everything meshes. Having Dorene, Liz Farley, and Parker on the team definitely helps too. Finally, Vaspian comes up in the rear. I love everything about this team, but somehow they've stagnated in their growth it seems. I'm really hoping to see them take the next step to being competitive this season! 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

All We Do Is Quinn vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+9) – AWDIQ has a nice matchup to start the season and shake some rust off. Grey Hair already has their rust shaken off, as I said earlier, but I don’t think they simply have the horses to run with Quinn. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 6

 

Matty’s Angels vs The Untouchaballs (+16) – This game is going to score a million points. Both teams have dynamic offenses, and there’s ZERO way Matty isn’t going to try to break 100 points in this one. This one will come down to who has the football last. MATTYS ANGELS BY 8

 

Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+10) – Well, this is a nice way for Frodo to ease into their new era. Catching a team that can’t play defense on their second straight game. Frodo is going to win by a decent amount and I’ll be getting an email from Garrett about it by Saturday night. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 17

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Wolfpack (+7) – Same goes for Wolfpack here. They’ll be catching Frodo on their second game. The issue here, of course, is that the Pack hasn’t played a game together just yet. It’ll be a nice gender battle on top of things, and this might be the game of the day in D3. WOLFPACK BY 2

 

Top Shot vs Vaspian (+13) – Top Shot gets an easier entrance into the TSL with a game against Vaspian. I feel like I’m being too harsh on Vaspian. They’re a group of awesome people who can definitely hang with the league. It’s just that they’ve been inconsistent so far, and Top Shot has a pretty nice roster who can play. TOP SHOT BY 10

 

D4:

 

Championship Odds:

 

Cunning Stunts (3-1)

Practice Squad (5-1)

Buffalo Vice (5-1)

Jabronies (12-1)

TOX (12-1)

Not So Sticky (15-1)

Cobblestone (15-1)

Itches and Ohs (18-1)

Juiced (20-1)

Freeballers (50-1)

 

               D4 looks to be a slobberknocker at the top for sure. After a few seasons with a 6-team D4, we find ourselves with a 10 team division that has a lot of questions marks, but a lot of potential too. Let’s get it out of the way now, as much as it may irk Dan Gonzalez and the rest of Buffalo Vice, The Cunning Stunts are the preseason queens of the division. Last season doesn’t even count, as the Stunts were missing some of there stars who opted out from playing. They’re all back, and then some. The Stunts should be a machine again, and with their mortal enemies in Matty’s Angels not around anymore, they have a clear path to the title. Practice Squad might be getting slightly too much hype in their odds, but they dominated D5 last season once B stepped in behind center. They even nearly beat the MDM buzzsaw. Meanwhile ever other team save for Buffalo Vice has questions. It’ll be fun watching this unfold. Speaking of Buffalo Vice, they trot out nearly the same team that dominated D4 for most of the season. Andy Clark is back to throw the ball a million yards, and Brett Cole is back to lead the defense into battle. They boast a better than you might think group of females as well. If they were ever overdue to have a big season and win the title, this is it. The Jabronies find themselves without an identity. It seems like a lot of the former players all didn’t commit and now Joe Miano is QBing a mostly different, somewhat patchwork squad. But, he’s developed well as a QB, and he did manage to grab Alex Baker to play as well. If they can get the cards aligned, anything is possible. TOX decided that going nearly winless in D5 meant they should go to D4. Lucky for them, they added Aaron Balcerzak and the Tommy Hughes nobody likes to join the most honorable prophet Dave Walter to form a pretty good crew for Topper to throw to. This team will live and die every week with how well their girls play. Leslie rocks for sure, but the rest – Raena, Jenna, and Amanda all have talent and potential, but they’re still working out the bugs at times. Not So Sticky is a Jeff Krol creation, thrown together at apparently the last minute. Ricky Recckio isn’t great at catching the ball for Sticky Bandits so let’s see how he does throwing it. Krol hasn’t submitted a roster yet it seems, so I don’t know who else he signed to the team just yet. But I’m sure it’ll be a lot of fun individuals. Cobblestone had a great #TSL2020 season, I think they were 6-2-1, losing only to Practice Squad and MDM, which everyone else did too. Darryl and company are looking to build on that success and this is a team that can very well compete. I also see that they signed the Lattucas, so I’m looking forward to seeing Sam (fine, and Anthony too, I guess) back on the field. Itches and Ohs was Family Feud last season. At least part of them were. It seems FF split into Ohs and Juiced. Itches has a lot of good players, namely all of the Mosers, Streeters, and Streits. Juiced has a bunch of people I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to hearing more about them. Finally, last year’s duds, 40 year plan guy’s Freeballers. Yeah, the 50-1 odds were just for the joke, and in reality this team has some talent with Anthony Deak and George Lombardo. Unless George is throwing for them again. Regardless, they also roster the TSL’s favorite ray of sunshine in Trish Esposito, who leads an underrated group of girls.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

TOX vs Itches and Ohs (+8) – TOX looked like they were coming along in the indoor session, and they’ve been playing together for a bit now. Meanwhile I don’t know if Ohs have ever played a game together yet. So yeah, let’s go with the golden arm of Topper here. TOX BY 18

 

Buffalo Vice vs Cunning Stunts (+3) – This is a top notch Week 1 showdown for sure. A probable championship preview. Both teams know each other well and this one could go either way. But, I like that instead of using “Solar Solutions” they’re called “Vice” now. Makes me think about Don Johnson. Anyone under 25 can google that. BUFFALO VICE BY 4

 

Not So Sticky vs Juiced (+1) – I know that the people playing with NSS know how to play football. I have no idea if anyone on Juiced does. NOT SO STICKY BY 7

 

Practice Squad vs Jabronies (+5) – A well oiled machine vs a team put together with a lot of spare parts, tape, and glue. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 14

 

D5:

 

Championship Odds:

Show Me Dem TDs (4-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-1)

Breast Friends (8-1)

Wasted Potential (10-1)

Puckett All-Stars (10-1)

The Bambs 2.0 (11-1)

Zack Attack (12-1)

University Wealth Management (15-1)

 

               D5 could be anyone’s game. Show Me Dem TDs is what used to be Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, which is a complete downgrade in a team name. Yes, the roster took a few hits but Jon Senn still has Timmy Z throwing the rock and Jackee Thompson there catching it. I don’t see too much of a difference here, save for the loss of Chris Nelson. ILF has Dave Baker playing QB for them, and there’s nothing more satisfying than a man playing ball with his son. This team should make some waves this year. Breast Friends is one of our new gender teams this season, as Travis has decided to get back in the gender game. They boast quite a few of the talented ladies from this league, and does my eye spy the return of Hollie Speroni? I hope so! Wasted Potential is better known as the Passless Chaps, and its great to have that good group of people back in the league. Coach Jay will be back as the QB, and this is a team that really kicked it up a notch when he first took over. Puckett All-Stars is back too! They’re in a lower division this time around, but its always awesome to see them back. They’re incredibly underrated but they know what they do best and how to win football games. The Bambs moved up after their D6 championship last season, and it’ll be nice to see how they play against stiffer competition. Derek Sekuterski returns and he’ll look to repeat his awesome season last year. Zack Attack is back yet again, and they may as well be a gender team as they roster seven women! That, I think, is the most of any non gender team. Finally UWM is Team Keller! I don’t know where this name came from but JUST BE 3^RD AND SCHLONG! I can’t wait to see Scotty Sr.’s golden arm back on the field asap!

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Breast Friends (+6) – A veteran team versus a newly formed gender team full of veterans. This game hinges on how well the girls can get their defense figured out. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 3

 

Wasted Potential vs University Wealth Management (+15) – I’m already sick of typing out all of UWM’s name. I don’t think 15 points is a fair line. This game is going to be very close, but in the end I’m going to take Coach Jay and bet on the better QB. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 6

 

Wasted Potential vs Breast Friends (+4) – The second game for both of these teams means they’ll have had some time to figure things out on both sides. A Coach Jay vs Travis QB battle is nice too. I think the Ladies will pull this one out here. BREAST FRIENDS BY 8

 

Zack Attack vs Show Me Dem TDs (+3) – I really like how Zack Attack is getting better every season. I think they’ve improved consistently since starting in the league and this season should be no different. However, Show Me might be slightly ahead of where they’re at here. SHOW ME DEM TDS BY 3

 

ILF vs The Bambs 2.0 (+10) -  Regardless from what I’ve said above, im not sure ILF should be a ten point favorite just like that. I know the Bambs are looking to make their mark as well. Call this one a slight upset. THE BAMBS BY 4

 

D6:

 

Championship Odds:

 

Graves Bros (3-1)

Tater Tots (5-1)

Blitzkrieg (7-1)

TMA (10-1)

The BiPolar Express (12-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (13-1)

Victorious Secret (15-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (15-1)

WoodPeckers (18-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (20-1)

 

               Graves Bros lead D6, just like they did last year. The Steve Miller Band is back to right the wrongs of last season and take the D6 title. The Tator Tots had such a great season where things really came together for them. I can only imagine them improving even more this season, and really competing for the title. Dave Marcus has put together a nice team there. Blitzkrieg was on the verge of really being a contender last season before the unfortunate injury to QB Alex. But it seems the gang is all back, including stand out Allie Metzger, Ethan, and of course, Light Red Hoodie Guy, who I expect should wear the hoodie even in the summer. He can cut the sleeves off or something. TMA is back with pretty much the same roster as before, although I believe “Tall Nick” will be available for the whole season. That’s a big win. Hopefully another season of continuity will help them finally get over the hump that they’ve been trying to get over for what feels like forever. Clearly, they need to use Diana more. The BiPolar Express is back, and of the THREE gender teams D6 has to offer, they’ve been around the longest in the TSL. Gordon has a great football mind, and it’ll be nice to finally see them put it all together. Spinelli’s Plumbing was PC Plumbing. I’m pretty sure they’ll be rocking a similar roster to the last few seasons, which found them in the middle of the pack. Victorious Secret is a brand new gender team lead by Jordan Lawson. He brought a lot of new ladies to the league (don’t be creeps, gentlemen) and I’m excited to see what they can do here. Lenny’s Ladies makes their return, and while the roster seems to have gone through a few changes they get Joe K back from injury this year. They boast some talented ladies themselves with Robin Makula and Jaimie Warren, two women who won MVPs in their divisions if I remember correctly. The WoodPeckers are the Pteratacos to a degree. Not sure why they went with this name, but its whatever. It’ll be interesting to see how they fare moving down to D6. Finally, we have another brand new team in Travis Henry’s Kids. A team I know nothing about but would love to learn more about where they’re from and who they are.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Victorious Secret vs Blitzkrieg (+4) – The line makers do *not* agree with the Championship Odds here! Or else they know more about the Secret than others do in the TSL. What I do know, however, is that Light Red Hoodie Guy is a stud and he’s *not* on Victorious Secret. As a result, I have to go with my gut here. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

 

Lenny’s Ladies vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+1) – The Joe K debut for his Ladies team gets off to a start against a team completely unknown by TSL standards. I don’t fully know what to expect here at all from either side, so let’s just bet on the unknown! TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 7

 

Graves Bros vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+5) – Graves Bros are very, very good. Spinelli’s are kind of sort of average. I think Graves Bros are on a mission, and if they’re not, they should be. GRAVES BROS BY 10

 

Tater Tots vs The BiPolar Express (+7) – These teams can absolutely put on a show this week, and I think 7 points is a bit much. I’d expect a close contest, but in the end I think we’ll see the Tots pull it out late. TATER TOTS BY 3

 

TMA vs WoodPeckers (+3) – Will Prim vs Mark be our season’s first fight? The odds on that are pretty high. TMA is all about defense, and Mark’s Dad isn’t going to be able to move the ball against them, especially with a lot of rust on the 80 year old arm. TMA BY 12

 

Tater Tots vs TMA (+4) – This is a nice little rivalry game for Week 1. These teams know each other pretty well and they’ve played some intense games. I think at this point though, the Tots are a bit better. TATER TOTS BY 6

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

1. Who are the newest TSL superstars going to be? The league has added so many new players that it’s going to be so fun to see how stands out on and off the field!

 

2. How good will the “new” Eyes Downtown actually be? Let’s face it, if Bobby’s new roster can compete with the top teams in the division, D1 will be much more exciting.

 

3. How many more gender teams can we get? I think its awesome that we have six gender teams that will really show off how talented our females are. If you’re interested in playing, don’t be shy! Reach out! We have the potential to have 4 gender champions this year, and that’s actually realistic.

 

4. Who are the best long shots to win each division according to the odds? Eyes Downtown (10-1), Losing Streak (18-1), Frodo Swaggins (10-1), Freeballers (50-1), The Bambs (11-1), Victorious Secret (15-1).

 

5. Who do I think will win each championship? Tight Ends over Public Enemy, Peachy Platoon over Slytherin That End Zone, All We Do Is Quinn over Matty’s Angels, Buffalo Vice over Cunning Stunts, The Bambs over Show Me Dem TDs, and Graves Bros over TMA.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Again, make sure you follow proper protocols on and off the fields!

 

2. Here are the best matchups for every hour:

               10:00 – Sticky Bandits vs Tight Ends In Motion

               11:00 – Matty’s Angels vs The Untouchaballs

               12:00 – Losing Streak vs Peachy Platoon

               1:00 – The Bambs vs ILF

               2:00 – XTC vs Mountain Dew Me

               3:00 – Tator Tots vs TMA

 

3. I can’t wait to see Breakfast Club results. It’s awesome that we have 8 teams this season, and its chock full of awesome players. It’s going to be a good one.

 

4. The weather looks like it’s going to be 63 degrees! They’ll be soft from the snow you guys got, but it’s shaping up to be a glorious day! Wear. Sunscreen.

 

5. It’s good to know that the TSL podcast is back! I listened to the first one and it got me ready for the season. If you want to be a guest on the podcast, you can email topper or talk to Joe K at the fields. They should really have an email address.

 

6. Speaking of email addresses, please, take a few minutes of your time and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to let me know about your team and what I’m getting wrong. I love chatting with the TSLers since I can’t see them in person.

 

7. A special shout out here to Topper, Val, Travis, Joe K, Coach Jay, Emily, Jeff Krol, and everyone else that’s been going above and beyond for this league. It’s appreciated more than you guys know.

 

8. Will we FINALLY get the return of B’s Brother? It’s been far, far too long.

 

9. Mark your calendars for June 5^th. That’s the Lenny and Rameer celebration day. Be there.

 

10. The TSL is BACK everyone! You’ve waited so long for this moment and while its not *quite* perfect, its still perfect. I’m excited for this season. There are so many more new storylines and people to get to know. Please, treat everyone with respect and be kind to each other. Have fun out there!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Saturdays just got a million times better for the next few months. Enjoy them! I’ll be here, waiting to hear all about it.

 

-GF

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