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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, June 4th you will converge on the Fields at the Rose Garden to play in what is already Week 8 of the TSL Spring 2022 season. While the games will be fun and competitive, they will undoubtedly take a backseat to the first ever Official TSL Holiday: 

 

Lenny and Rameer Day! 

 

This is one of the hardest and easiest articles I ever have to write. You see, I’ve been informed that not everyone in the league knows WHY we have a Lenny and Rameer Day. So while the action on the field will be fantastic, I’m going to take a second to explain why Saturday is so important. This is mostly for the newcomers to the league, of course. The rest of you already know who we’re celebrating. 

 

I’ll try my best to keep it brief. I’ll most likely fail. 

 

To those that don’t know, Lenny Alba was the Commissioner for Life of the TSL. He was Topper’s best friend and he was a huge catalyst in why we even have a league in the first place. It’s pretty safe to say that there’s no TSL without him. Lenny had a larger than life personality, and he spoke about as fast as Speedy Gonzales on cocaine. Lenny would seek out TSLers, especially newer ones, to talk to and get to know. To make you feel included. He was the puppeteer of the TSL, creating storylines and making people “TSL Famous” for no reason other than he saw “She’s All That” the night before and figured he could do the same. And he did, just ask Mike Boccio. He had a knack of knowing what was going on in just about every TSL game, and he would talk about it. The reason the TSL banquet is so ridiculous? Lenny. The reason B’s Brother is a National Treasure? Lenny. He’s the reason we have a podcast, just so more people can get involved with the league (and maybe so he could further his own story lines). He had a big heart, and once he got to know you, you were in trouble. Many TSLers reading this have been assaulted by rapid fire text message conversations with Lenny, who described himself as a “14 year old girl” when it came to texts. Even more TSLers have had a moment where they looked at their phone to see who was calling, saw it was Lenny, and immediately cleared their schedules for the next two hours, because there was no such thing as a short phone call with Lenny Alba. He loved this league like no other, especially his Public Enemy family. The joy in his voice when we’d have our weekly conversations for this article when it came to them was nearly vomit inducing. I’m sure some of you will read this on Friday. Don’t ever forget how much he loved you guys. For me, as life took me away from the league that I enjoyed and moved me to Des Moines, Iowa nearly a decade ago, Lenny still kept in touch. He had me write this article, and every week we’d talk forever about the games so I’d have enough info. Did he occasionally tell me who to write about? Maybe. Did he suggest that I write like a rabid 7 year old so that people would think he was doing it? Perhaps. Remember, The Godfather doesn’t wear glasses. Lenny did. He couldn’t have been me. But a lot of you sure believed he was. And that was the beauty of Lenny. He toed the line of what people thought things were and what they really are so perfectly. He was a generous human being that pulled off enough stunts in the TSL’s history that even over three years since his death, there’s a glimmer of uncertainty in many TSLers’ minds whether or not he faked his own death just to see if he could do it. It can’t be ruled out. 

 

The Yin to Lenny’s Yang, however, was Rameer Green. Whereas Lenny would be loud and boisterous, always laughing and smiling, Rameer would be a bit more tame, and he’d wear his signature scowl as he roamed the sidelines or hung out at the bar. But don’t get that confused with him being a full on curmudgeon (although, he has told me before that he can indeed be one). Rameer earned his nickname of “Dirtiest Player in the Game” by perhaps taking liberties with some of the rules while he was on the field, and he’d be the first person to steal a great player for his team. Rameer would work his way into becoming the Director of Officiating for the league, and he became the all important ‘3rd man’ in the TSL management world, often casting the deciding vote in the various Topper vs Lenny debates on anything from rules, to suspensions, to if we should have limbo contests to determine who gets the ball. He was a cool head in a sometimes chaotic world, who would be reasonable most of the time. He cared so much about making sure the refs were up to date that anytime there was something wrong or a change that was made, the refs knew that they were going to open a 20,000 word email about something that could’ve been explained in 20 words. Ask them. But where Rameer excelled the most was with the people. Rameer worked his way into being the TSL’s unofficial welcoming committee. A very, very high percentage of TSLers’ “first person they met that they didn’t know before coming to football” is Rameer. He would find players who were “balling out” in the lower divisions in order to get to know them, or more than likely try to get them on his team. Sometimes it was because they could play, other times it was because they looked really good in yoga pants, but either way he reached out to many people. Rameer also went out of his way to make people feel included. But where Lenny would be a huge personality about it, Rameer would have that lowkey one on one with you. He’d really connect with you on a deeper level. Behind that scowl lied a heart of gold, and he truly got to know someone. When “league drama” would occur, Lenny would make a spectacle of it to make people laugh and we move on from it. Rameer would sneak in behind the scenes while the others were distracted to make sure you were okay. He was as genuine as they come. 

 

Their styles may have been nearly direct opposite most of the time, but the goals remained the same: be invested in the people. Take care of them. The whole reason the TSL is a family is largely because these two men made it that way. 

 

Sadly, tragedy struck the TSL in March of 2019. Lenny had some health issues he was working on, and while the prognosis was improving, he passed away in his sleep. It was the lowest point in league history, and a blow not many people were 100% sure we’d survive. But we did. The TSL as a whole stepped up to help try to fill the void Lenny left. Rameer would assume ‘#2’ duties and become an even bigger voice in the league. He did an amazing job with that, and despite everything that happened with Lenny, the league was stronger than ever because of Rameer’s efforts. We had survived our darkest days. I got to know Rameer a lot better during these days as he took it upon himself to feed me information to keep the article going strong, and I’d like to say it did. And just when things seemed to be getting back to normal for us, we found out Rameer had cancer. He had to have some surgeries, and he even lost an eye in the process. But he fought and he fought it hard. Covid had just started, and we had to cancel the Spring 2020 football season. It took away the ability for most of us to see Rameer when he needed us the most. Sadly, on June 4th, 2020, Rameer lost his battle with cancer. It was Lenny’s birthday. 

 

So that’s why tomorrow is so important to the league. We’re celebrating the two most important “Non-Topper” people in league history. Celebrating their lives, their friendship, and the lasting impression they’ve left on all of us. Neither of them would want this attention, which is exactly why Topper is giving it to them. 

 

When you’re listening to the band, or getting B’s Brother’s autograph, or eating ice cream, or hopefully getting some drink specials at the bar, or whatever else Topper has planned for the day, just remember to raise a glass to Lenny and Rameer. Even if you never got to know them personally, their presence is all around this league. Have fun, because that’s what they’d want you to do. 

 

With that, ‘get to this week’s action. Remember that with the many, many crossover D1-D2 games, we’re just combining them. 

 

D1/D2:

 

Last Week’s Crossover Games:

 

Tight Ends In Motion 34, Dilfs 23

Sticky Bandits 48, The Notorious BNB 14

Legends 43, When Dove Cries 14

Eyes Downtown 49, Bullet Club 16

 

Well, there goes any chance the league has of adding multiple teams to D1. In a perfect world, we would’ve seen a few upsets to show that D2 teams can absolutely hang with D1 teams. That isn’t the case here at all. Despite a valiant effort from the Dilfs, the other teams have lost in some sort of 40+ points to two touchdowns fashion. While I had been told they all start close, the D1 teams put their foot on the gas and rocked the second half. Not the best day for management. 

 

Last Week’s D2 Games: 

 

Gray Hair Don’t Care 24, Passed Our Prime 23

Scared Hitless 29, When Dove Cries 24

 

Scared Hitless remains the class of D2, putting up another win within their division to pull closer to the 1st overall seed. The problem is that the team right behind them is Grey Hair now, who, after a 4th straight win this season, is the only D2 team to beat Scared Hitless. That means they hold the tiebreaker, and they only sit one game behind. Exciting stuff brewing in D2. 

 

This Week’s Crossover Games: 

 

Eyes Downtown vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - The hottest team in D1 takes on the hottest team in D2. Grey Hair needs this game in order to chase down Scared Hitless for the #1 seed in D2, and a loss to ED would clinch it for SH. Eyes have been so good lately, and they’re dialed in. Grey Hair’s win streak looks less impressive when you see they’ve been winning by one point. They’re not ready for this one. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 14

 

Legends vs Passed Our Prime (+14) - The “Sean” Bowl. I’m not sure which team he’ll decide to play for, but POP needs him more. There’s a world where POP can win a multi-team tiebreaker for the #1 seed. The Legends can win the #1 seed themselves, but their “bye” comes in the form of playing Tight Ends In Motion. There’s just a talent disparity here. LEGENDS BY 10

 

Scared Hitless vs Tight Ends In Motion (EVEN) - The worst D1 team vs the best D2 team is a very intriguing matchup here. I’m quite interested to see how these two match up. SCARED HITLESS BY 8

 

This Week’s D2 Games:

 

When Dove Cries vs Bullet Club (+8) - If Bullet Club is going to avoid going winless on the season, this would be the game for them to do it in. Neither team has been impressive, they’re a combined 1-13 on the season, and the win was WDC beating BC in their previous meeting. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 12

 

DILFs vs The Notorious BNB (+7) - Both teams are coming off crossover losses, but one team looked competent while the other looked a bit rough. BNB might have a backup QB throwing for them as Alex had a child (congrats!), which means it doesn’t look good for BNB here. DILFS BY 14

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Sleezin Szn 34, Freeballers 26

The Untouchaballs 46, Buffalo Vice 21

Show Me Dem TDs 36, Sleezin Szn 34

Frodo Swaggins 38, 4th And Something 28

Itches and Ohs 36, Show Me Dem TDs 35

 

Naturally, the Freeballers have a huge week and fall on their face immediately after, giving Sleezin their first win. Sleezin would go on to lose a nail biter to SMDTDs, who would then go on to lose a nail biter against Itches and Ohs. The Untouchaballs bounced back nicely with a big win over Buffalo Vice, which gave us our #1 vs #2 female matchup in Melanie vs Caitlyn. Fun fact, most people gave the edge to Caitlyn. Perhaps we need a new ranking sooner than we thought. Finally, Frodo Swaggins helped 4th&S continue their slide, walking away with a win. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Itches and Ohs vs Sleezin Szn (+3) - Both teams still feel a little shaky this season, so this is a big game on both ends as they look to head into the playoffs with a bit of a win streak. ITCHES AND OHS BY 2

 

The Untouchaballs vs Sleezin Szn (+10) - Getting this juggernaut of a team heading into the back half of a double header just doesn’t sound fun for anyone. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 17

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Show Me Dem TDs (+10) - Don’t look now, but SMDTDs is starting to play good football, and the results are due to turn in thier favor, right? Add into the fact that Frodo is getting too close to the top of the standings again, and that usually means they’re in for a let down. SHOW ME DEM TDS BY 4

 

Freeballers vs Show Me Dem TDs (+8) - The high of winning against Frodo (maybe) won’t matter here. After suffering a let down last week, look for the Freeballers to fix what didn’t work last time and get it moving in the right direction this time around. FREEBALLERS BY 19

 

Itches and Ohs vs 4th And Something (+6) - I think the trash talk in this game could be top notch, but right now there’s nothing that makes me want to pick 4th and Something in a game. Not until the playoffs anyway. ITCHES AND OHS BY 10

 

Freeballers vs Buffalo Vice (+20) - Okay, I have inside information that Vice is going to be super shorthanded from Dan. It was going to be close but I’m not sure Vice can come anywhere near Freeballers very short handed. FREEBALLERS BY 17

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

TOX 28, Varsity Has Beens 27

Can’t Touch This 35, XMD 34

ILF 38, TOX 23

Spinelli’s Plumbing 22, Vaspian 16

Puckett All-Stars 48, Today’s Feast 19

Practice Squad 34, Zack Attack 24

 

TOX needed a big win to stay alive for the playoff race and got it! But then they fell short against ILF and I believe that eliminated them from playoff competition. Can’t Touch This remains the TSL’s hottest team with ANOTHER victory, this time over XMD. Spinelli’s got a win in those cursed jerseys to end the losing streak over Vaspian, who’s starting a losing streak of their own. Puckett just dominated Today’s Feast as they round into shape of being the first round underdog that wins in the playoffs. Finally, Practice Squad wins again, putting Zack Attack in their place, and currently out of the playoffs. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Varsity Has Beens (+10) - VHB has played well for a brand new team, but not quite well enough. Here’s hoping they’re learning and will be back in the fall. They need to win out to go 4-5 and have a shot at the playoffs, but it doesn’t look likely when you consider just how good PAS has been. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 10

 

Can’t Touch This vs International Lightning Falcons (EVEN) - A very even matchup pitting the 22nd and 23rd ranked teams in the TSL. CTT has a Differential of +2, ILF is at -6. They’re both 4-3. This is going to be a great game, and one that will determine which of these teams is actually for real. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 2

 

Zack Attack vs Today’s Feast (+10) - This is a true “Loser leaves town” match, as both of these teams need a win to keep their playoff hopes alive. A loss would give the winner the tiebreaker edge and almost certainly prevent the other from passing them in the standings. There’s a bunch at stake here. ZACK ATTACK BY 12

 

Cunning Stunts vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - Spinelli’s COULD keep pace with the Stunts but there’s nothing they’ve been doing lately that suggests that they will. We haven’t seen SP struggle to score and win games like this since 2020 or so. The Stunts roll on. CUNNING STUNTS BY 3

 

Vaspian vs TOX (+8) - TOX is playing better for sure, and they’re catching Vaspian at the right time as Vaspian has looked a bit shaky the last few weeks.  On the other hand, maybe TOX is the cure for what ails them. VASPIAN BY 3

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

716 15, Passing While Intoxicated 14

Not So Sticky 77, Two Tuddies 16

 

Only two D5 games last week, and they were something. 716 picked up another win over PWI in a game where both offenses really struggled. On the other side of the coin, Not So Sticky scored 77 points with Christine Krol playing QB, which is a real fantastic story there. I guess both teams played with female QBs for fun. Looking forward to their probable 8-9 matchup in the playoffs. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind vs Passing While Intoxicated (+9) - PWI just feels a bit off here, and their offense hasn’t done too much at all this season. It’s common for a new team to struggle as they acclimate to the TSL life. CFB, meanwhile, has played in this league since the beginning of time. They know how to play the game. COME FROM BEHIND BY 19

 

TMA vs Two Tuddies (+16) - The worst thing for a team that’s finding their way on offense is to have to play a team that’s been known for their awesome defense for like 6 seasons. TMA BY A MILLION (or 17). 

 

716 vs Tater Tots (+7) - The Tots’ biggest weakness this season has been their offense, which was marred by injury early on. 716 hadn’t really had a problem scoring until last week’s 15 point output. If the Tots can slow the 716 offense, they’ll be able to pull out a victory. TATER TOTS BY 1

 

Red Zone Mafia vs Not So Sticky (+8) - Word is that NSS will be completely Krol-less this week, which means the inmates are running the asylum there. With no direction, look for RZM to keep up their nice season so far. RED ZONE MAFIA BY 17

 

Cobblestone vs Red Zone Mafia (+12) - Darryl Carr, QB Superstar is ready to take on some of his former teammates of the past here with his new superteam. I’m not sure I like RZM’s chances here. COBBLESTONE BY 20

 

D6: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Woodpeckers 28, Blitzkrieg 22

Travis Henry’s Kids 40, Woodpeckers 33

Lenny’s Ladies 45, Lettuce Win 38

Southside 25, Blitzkrieg 18

 

You know when you break up with someone and you don’t want to see them thriving after? That’s sort of how I feel when I see Blitzkrieg losing two more games this week. It hurts a bit because I still care, but until they change for me, I have to watch from afar. The Woodpeckers beat BK and then gave THK a run for their money before ultimately losing. Lenny’s Ladies got a win over Lettuce Win in the 3rd game those teams have played. Finally, Southside scraped together a win of their own against Blitzkrieg. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Southside (+40) - The last time these two teams played, THK won by a landslide and the game had to stop early. After that performance only a few weeks ago, it’s hard to believe in Southside here. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 27

 

Woodpeckers vs Lettuce Win (EVEN) - The Peckers have been playing some decent football this season, even if they weren’t all translating to wins. Lettuce Win has been doing the same too, and it appears they have a new league superstar in the making with “The Iceberg” who is apparently 6’7, can jump 12 feet in the air, and catches everything. The Woodpeckers do have Dan Farinacci who can cover him though, so that could be a fun matchup. WOODPECKERS BY 8

 

Lenny’s Ladies vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - There’s always close games with these two, including earlier this season. However it’s seeming like BK usually pulls it out as of late. Hard to go against that. BLITZKRIEG BY 18

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1.      What will Lenny and Rameer Day entail? While i’m sure there’s more that Topper didn’t even tell me, there will be a band playing from 12-4, he’ll have some TSL merchandise available for sale (including some “surprise stuff”, whatever that means), there’s an ice cream truck coming, I believe the wheels will be spinning for shots, and I’m sure there will be a dunk tank. He also claims Thurman Thomas will be at the fields as well. It’s going to be so much fun. 

 

2.      Who’s the hottest player in the league? Let me tell you about Johnny F’N Football, who took it upon himself to email me and let me know that he’s on the hottest team in D1 AND in D2 and he’s called his shot that he’s going to win both titles. Who can stop him? 

 

3.      Have you subscribed/followed our Social Media yet? Remember, the TSL Podcast is now on Spotify, and we can use more follows and likes on Facebook (Topper Sports, LLC), instagram (@topper_sports_league), and Twitter (@toppersportsllc). The more you interact with the league, the more we’ll know what you want. 

 

4.      I’ve heard rumors that B’s Brother is doing his own Top Females List, is this true? B’s Brother was the originator of the Top Females In The League list, and from what I hear he’s allegedly working on his own list. Genius like this takes time, so we must wait for him. 

 

5.      Can I be on the podcast? Many people want to be on the podcast I hear, but it seems like guests have been harder to come by. Talk to Joe K, Topper, Krol, Trish or whoever and get on the show! 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1.      Breakfast Club Predictions: 

a.      Trish’s Tiny Disasters 37, Dominatrix 34

b.      Jennatalia 35, The Escourts 24

c.      Liddle Deaks 41, Steph Infection 38

 

2.      Here are the Top Games this week: 

a.      9:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Grey Hair Don’t Care

b.      10:00 - Itches and Ohs vs Sleezin Szn

c.      11:00 - When Dove Cries vs Bullet Club

d.      12:00 - Tight Ends In Motion vs Scared Hitless

e.      1:00 - 716 vs Tater Tots

f.       2:00 - Lettuce Win vs Woodpeckers

g.      3:00 - Red Zone Mafia vs Cobblestone

 

3.      I’ve heard reports that Cookie and Elmo are currently on strike and are in intense negotiations with Topper on new contracts. Will they show up to the fields? 

 

4.      Your Lenny and Rameer Day weather forecast looks to be about 65 degrees and sunny! Perfect football day! 

 

5.      The Wine Tournament is August 13th and teams are starting to form up. It’s limited availability so don’t delay in signing up whenever Topper opens registration!

 

6.      Again, if you have more to say about your team’s games and can give info about your players, hype them up like the others do and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. !

 

7.      Also, I want to do a “mailbag” type article next week, so take a second to fire off some questions to me about the league and see if you make the article! I want to know what’s important to YOU. 

 

8.      I see we have even more TSLers stepping up and refereeing this weekend, thank you all for helping make this league the best in the business. 

 

9.      The Race for Social Co-Ed Football immortality is going to be intense as we get closer and closer to playoffs. Please remember to not be a “Travis” and yell at the refs, or other players, or be a bad sport in general. Nobody wants that. You’ll be punished accordingly. 

 

10.  If everyone brings a lawnmower to the fields this week, we’ll probably be able to have the grass properly cut for such a big day. Just to be safe. Bring a lawnmower, get a beer from Topper.

 

And that will do it for this week, everyone go out and celebrate Lenny and Rameer Day as best as you can this Saturday. Drink, laugh, and tell stories. That’s what they would’ve wanted: everyone together, as a family. Who knows? Maybe I’ll show up for it. 

 

-GF OUT

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