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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is only two weeks away from its elimination rounds. There isn’t much time left for teams to correct what ails them, if it’s fixable at all. With the Rameer Green Memorial Social Co-Ed Football Elimination Race (shortened to “the playoffs”, to make it easier since RGMSCER is really hard to say), to soon be played on the hallowed grounds of the Lenny Alba Fields at the Rose Garden, teams are naturally starting to turn an eye towards the standings as they figure out who their first round opponents are as they attempt to achieve immortality. 

 

But, I caution them from doing so. In the league’s entire history, the TSL has proven again and again that this is a “What have you done for me lately?” type of place. I’ve said it before, how teams are playing back in August has nothing to do with how they’ll be once September ends. I like that a good chunk of you just sang “Wake Me Up When September Ends” in your head, and if you didn’t then, you just did now. 

 

Anyway, the entire point is this: the teams that have themselves trending in the right direction RIGHT NOW are the ones that, statistically, end up doing much, much better in the playoffs. Yes, there will always be that team that has looked awful all season pulling an upset or two (we call this the “Practice Squad”) in the playoffs, and a Top Team that looked dominant lose in the first round regardless. It’s the nature of the beast. But, again, the teams that peak at the right time (even if they finish as 3 seed, or a 6 seed, etc) tend to have the most success. So who are they right now? And who’s in trouble as we head into October? 

 

Naturally, I’ve already done the work for you. If your team isn’t listed, you’re pretty much just in the middle, and can go either way right now. 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins 39, Sticky Bandits 30

Eyes Downtown 43, Sticky Bandits 35

Losing Streak 36, Legends 24

Frodo gets that dynamite first win over Sticky, who would drop to 0-2 on the day with a loss to Eyes Downtown later on. Losing Streak makes their return and they beat the Legends, giving LS a lot of confidence they can win the whole thing. 

Trending Up: 

 

Frodo Swaggins - It’s hard not to point out that they won their first game last week and they’re coming together as a team. They have 3 more games in the next two weeks to really lock down what they’re doing on the field and be a problem for the top teams in the division. 

 

Eyes Downtown - It’s hard to argue against them. 6-2, playing well, and everyone seems to be having a great time. 

 

Losing Streak - They beat the Legends and they look really good in pink and black, giving me strong Bret “Hitman” Hart vibes. 

Trending Down:

 

Sticky Bandits - They score pretty well, but it’s becoming apparent that they’ve forgotten how to stop anyone. Jeff Krol has once again ignored getting the team on the same page, instead focusing on things like “being a father”, “not fixing the Bills Bus”, and “running the entire league”. It’s no wonder the “Kicak to Eyes Downtown in the Spring” rumors keep getting louder. 

 

Legends - They’ve lost the last two games, and while I’m sure they’ll be fine, the losses start to make them internally wonder if they really are better off with a QB who’s over 5’3 tall. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits (+8) - As disjointed as the Sticky Nation looks right now, the reality is that they’re only a game behind LS for the 3rd seed in the division. This game has huge playoff implications, as a Sticky win can draw these two even at 3-4 and put Losing Streak in the 4-5 seed matchup against Frodo. Losing Streak has bigger fish to fry. LOSING STREAK BY 7

 

Legends vs Sticky Bandits (+10) - Things don’t get easier for Sticky as they get to jump right into a matchup with the Legends. These teams usually have pretty good games against each other, and I expect this one to come down to the wire. LEGENDS BY 3

 

Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) - Frodo got a little mojo going last week, but Losing Streak is here to erase those good feelings right off the bat. LS is the “forgotten” team in D1 right now, and I’m blowing their under the radar status for them. Sorry Jordan. The talent is undeniable here, and the more they put together good showings, the more I like them to keep Trending up. LOSING STREAK BY 12

 

Legends vs Frodo Swaggins (+10) - The Frodo vibes are getting better, but the Legends roster is just better. Sure, anything can happen, but it won’t here. LEGENDS BY 10

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Cle-Avengers Assemble 47, Practice Squad 26

THREAD 34, Can’t Touch This 33

Mavericks 30, Cle-Avengers Assemble 21

Practice Squad 40, Mavericks 33

Freeballers 42, Scared Hitless 32

 

Cle-Ass nearly doubles up the score on Practice Squad, before falling to the Mavericks. PS would go on then to beat the Mavericks, so everyone was 1-1 together. The Freeballers picked up yet another victory over Scared Hitless. And THREAD gets another win, beating Can’t Touch This and they’re starting to heat up, but not enough to make the list. 

 

Trending Up: 

 

Freeballers - I think it goes without saying right now, they’re one of the hottest teams in the TSL. They’re on a 5 game winning streak, and SH’s 32 points against them last week was the first time someone scored more than 23 on them during this run. Look out. 

 

Practice Squad - I don’t care that they’re last in the division, they’re finally getting there. They’re 2-1 in their last 3 games, they have cool jerseys, and they have great people. They won’t catch anyone by surprise this year in the playoffs. 

Trending Down:

 

Scared Hitless - They knew this was coming. After starting hot out of the gate at 2-0, SH has lost 5 straight, and has looked disorganized. 

 

Can’t Touch This - The Cinderella story is nearly over, as CTT has dropped their last 2 games. They’re still first in the division, but now that the rest of D2 has film on them, they have to be a little worried about how the playoffs are going to go. 

This Week’s Games:

 

THREAD vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+3) - THREAD continues to be on the rise, and they should probably have a better record than they do. Cle-Ass is still a team with excellent parts, but putting it together has been a slight issue. This isn’t the same team that won D2 last year, even if they’re wearing the tie-dye. THREAD BY 3

 

The Untouchaballs vs Practice Squad (+6) - I’m sorry PS, this one is on me. I didn’t talk about how good Jeremy Burr and the rest of the Untouchaballs are because they aren’t trending up. Why? Because they were already good. They’re not “up”, they’re just “what they always are”. Either way, they’re going to take it as motivation and I expect an email at 2:02pm telling me “Untouchaballs 37 - Practice Squad 14, who’s trending up NOW?”. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 23

Mavericks vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - These two teams played a pretty even game last week, and no matter who the loser was they were going to tell themselves “we should’ve won that game”. Mavericks get their win back. MAVERICKS BY 7

 

Freeballers vs The Untouchaballs (EVEN) - Well, maybe THIS is where I get an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. because UT is getting BOTH “Trending UP” teams this week. This is a clash of the titans, and with Can’t Touch This looking like they can now be touched, we’re looking at a meeting of the best two teams in the division. Arguably the best game of the day, and it’s at 3:00, so if you’re sticking around after your game, this is the one to go watch. FREEBALLERS BY 1

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Keller Whales 39, Bullet Club 38

716 27, Vaspian 12

The Family 40, Wanderers 38

 

A light day of games for D3 that saw the Keller Whales beat Bullet Club for the second straight week. 716 got a nice win over Vaspian to put them on track, and The Family continues to pick off the best teams in D3, sneaking by the Wanderers. 

Trending Up:

 

The Family - Duh. Since a Week 1 loss to Bullet Club, They’ve gone 5-1, only losing a 4 point game to Vaspian. They’ve averaged about 400 points a game, Terrell Bolden is flying up the QB Rankings charts, and everyone that plays them who’s been in the league longer than 3 years immediately questions how Pete (Asian, not Pistol) can play in the division, even if he’s old now. Give them the title. 

Trending Down:

 

Bullet Club - After starting 3-0, BC has gone 0-4, and is struggling to pull it out in close games. 

 

Wanderers - After starting 2-0, the Wanderers have gone 0-4, and are struggling to pull it out in close games (and a few blowouts). 

This Week’s Games:

 

Keller Whales vs The Malones (EVEN) - The Malones are playing pretty well, and they were a contender for “trending up”, but they’re not quite there, yet. A win here against the Keller Whales (another almost “Trending up” team themselves) should cement them as a team to be taken seriously. This should be a fun matchup. THE MALONES BY 3

 

Keller Whales vs Vaspian (EVEN) - Another D3 “even” matchup, which isn’t surprising, given the state of D3. The Keller clan has been looking sharp with Damien at QB, and Vaspian has been as well, even with their usual roster issues. Brian is still making it work though, and Vaspian is looking good. But not good enough this time. KELLER WHALES BY 7

 

Bullet Club vs Wanderers (EVEN) - It’s hard to believe one of these two teams will be on a five game losing streak, but here we are. Well, I guess they could tie. The Wanderers can pin their rough go on Sal being injured, as any team takes a hit losing their best weapon. BC can pin their rough go on the return of John Langley at QB. These two teams always put up great matchups, and I can’t imagine they won’t here. WANDERERS BY 1

 

The Family vs Let’s Get Reccked (+7) - LGR isn’t quite putting it together this season. That’s not to say they’re bad, it just means that they haven’t done it, yet. Last time these teams met, it was a 62-28 blowout, and I’m not sure LGR has closed that gap enough to take this one. THE FAMILY BY 14

 

Wanderers vs 716 (+3) - 716 is trying to prove they belong in D3, and it's starting to work. They’ve been better as of late, and they get a Wanderers team that isn’t in sync how you expect. 716 has already beaten the Wanderers, so they know they’re capable of doing it again. I have a feeling the Wanderers get their win back though. WANDERERS BY 7

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Father Baker 36, Buffalo Vice 32

Travis Henry’s Kids 24, TMA 18

Buffalo Vice 49, Travis Henry’s Kids 41

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 35, Passing While Intoxicated 0

Father Baker gets another victory, this time beating Buffalo Vice, which is a big win for the ladies. THK would beat TMA, before matching up against Vice and losing. And then ILF just decimated PWI, asserting their dominance. Big win for them. 

Trending Up:

 

Father Baker - The league’s newest gender team is finally figuring things out as they’ve gone 2-1 in their last three games and they’re heating up at the right time. 

 

Buffalo Vice/Travis Henry’s Kids - They’re both playing very well this season, and they just split the season series. Both teams will be trouble in the playoffs at this rate. 

Trending Down: 

 

Cunning Stunts - I know what you’re thinking. How on Earth is a 6-0 team that’s brutalizing their opponents trending DOWN? Because, they’ve been 6-0 since September 9th. They haven’t played a game in weeks. That’s no fun for anyone who’s a big fan of gender teams. Get it together. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs TMA (+8) - PWI got smacked around last week, and they were missing players, including QB Buddy Lee. TMA lost a close one to THK, and they’re showing signs of turning the corner, but they’ve yet to have a game where both the defense and the offense clicks, it’s seemingly one or the other each week. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 7

 

Buffalo Vice vs Puckett All-Stars (+6) - Vice has been putting up big numbers, and doing Buffalo Vice things all season. PAS isn’t what they’ve been in the recent past, we’ve covered that, but they’re still piecing together a really nice season. They’re 2-3, but they’re lurking, which is what their MO usually is. Upset(ish) of the day. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 6

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs ILF (EVEN) - Both teams are quite similar, and even with THK having Pistol Pete, ILF can counter with Andrew, which should prove to be an interesting matchup. Of course, Pete has approximately a foot of extra height, so it may not even matter. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 2

 

Cunning Stunts vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) - THK upset the Stunts last year, so they know what it takes to beat the ladies on the field. I think both teams will be amped, but my worry for this one is if the Stunts will have any slight rust after 3 weeks of not playing together. Luckily, wanting revenge tends to help with that. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

Cunning Stunts vs Father Baker (+8) - Last time we saw the Stunts, however, it was in the Gender Bowl as these two teams played to a 53-44 Stunts win that was a lot of fun for those in attendance. With this game at 2:00, I expect another highly watched contest. Father Baker has improved since the last game, but they’re not QUITE there yet. Or are they? CUNNING STUNTS BY 2

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind 52, Goatsack! 7

Cobblestone 46, Come From Behind 30

BAADies 32, Creekers 26

GUCCI 46, Not So Sticky 6

GUCCI 44, BAADies 26

Come From Behind gets into the win column in a BIG way over Goatsack! before they get beaten down by Cobblestone. The BAADies get a big win over the Creekers before getting got by GUCCI, who also took down Not So Sticky as they finished their season 6-3 and in the #1 seed (for now) in the division. 

Trending Up:

 

GUCCI - 3-0 in their last few games to cruise to 6-3, and they’re looking good for the playoffs. 

 

Cobblestone - You heard it right. 2-1 in their last 3, including a win where they only had 4 people. It’s amazing that after 70 years of football, Darryl can still continue to surprise us. 

Trending Down:

 

Creekers - Yes, they’re 5-2. But let’s break something down quickly. They’re 5-0 against regular teams but 0-2 against gender teams. Okay, GUCCI isn’t a “gender team” but with Kelly Kane there to chuck TDs, they’re like an honorary one in terms of scoring. The Creekers won’t be able to win D5 without figuring out how to beat a team that always gets 8 point TDs. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Goatsack! (+10) - Spinelli’s has still only played 5 games, but they score points like no other team in the division. I don’t think Goatsack can keep up here. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 17

 

Come From Behind vs Not So Sticky (EVEN) - I know, EVEN? Realistically, CFB is going to have an easy time with NSS because this isn’t a playoff game. Hopefully, they’ll avoid them when it counts. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

 

Creekers vs Goatsack! (+8) - These two teams already met one this season and it was a one score game. Goatsack can run with the Creekers, who are still new, and prone to “new team” mistakes that GS can take advantage of. But, they keep getting better each week. CREEKERS BY 6

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

Pit Harade 38, Back That Pass Up 15

Blitzkrieg 41, Two Tuddies 21

Pit Harade 52, Sausage McMuffins 7

Sausage McMuffins 37, Mighty Drunks 27

Two Tuddies 42, Back That Pass Up 37

 

Pit Harade got another win over BTPU before shocking the D6 world with a big win over the Sausage McMuffins to go 2-0 on the week. The McMuffins would get a win over the Mighty Drunks to go to 1-1, but Back That Pass Up wouldn’t be as lucky, also losing to the Tud Buds to end up 0-2. The Tuddies would be 1-1 on the day as well, as they lost to Fall Blitzkrieg earlier in the day. 

Trending Up:

 

Pit Harade - After a bad start to the season, PH is 4-1, scoring the most points in the division, and they’re shutting teams down on defense as well, with the lone exception being Fall Blitzkrieg who’s beaten them twice. 

 

Balls Deep - BD is also 4-1 in their last 5 games, and they’re on top of the division right now, only losing to PH during this stretch. They’re not getting talked about the way they should be right now. 

Trending Down:

 

Sausage McMuffins - Uh Oh, is a repeat of the spring on the way? The McMuffins are 1-2 over their last 3 games, and haven’t looked like the team they were in the beginning of the season. I expect them to get it together (the win over the Drunks helps), so I’m not too worried. Hopefully they aren’t either. 

 

Just Get Open - JGO started the season 0-2, had some excuses for it, showed up and went 2-0, and then haven’t won since. They’re 2-5, and other than the magical Week 2, haven’t shown much else. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Just Get Open (+10) - A rare 9:00 game! If Just Get Open is going to show they’re a force in D6, time is running out. Getting a rather large upset win over FBK would be the place to do it, but right now FBK is operating at a pretty nice level and JGO feels out of sorts. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 8

 

Balls Deep vs Fall Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - The battle for the #1 overall seed in the division runs through this game specifically. BD has beaten FBK once already this season, but I expect FBK to come back and get a little revenge this time around. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 7

 

Balls Deep vs Mighty Drunks (+7) - Balls Deep finishes their season a week early, and they get a battle with the Mighty Drunks to end it. The Drunks have been all over the place all season, and it’s hard to get a read on them. Because of that, and because I don’t think BD goes 0-2 on the day, I’ll give the Balls the edge. BALLS DEEP BY 8

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - BTPU may not be winning, but they’re playing much more competitively than they have in the past. That means they’re improving, which is a good thing. The McMuffins, however, have to be looking at this one as a “get right” game. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8

 

Mighty Drunks vs Back That Pass Up (+7) - I have no idea what we’re going to get from these teams this week. The Drunks tend to win on athleticism, and this is the perfect spot for that. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 10

 

Pit Harade vs Two Tuddies (EVEN) - While Pit Harade has been playing really well, the Tuddies have been a bit all over the place. I’m not exactly sure what’s “wrong” with the Tuddies, but one has to assume they can snap out of this funk eventually. I’ll take the hot team right now, but not by much. PIT HARADE BY 2

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Two Tuddies (EVEN) - Heck of a matchup between two teams that have shown they can be very, very good, and also confusingly bad at times. Inconsistency is never a good thing, but I think we’re going to get a really good matchup here. TWO TUDDIES BY 2

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Are the Legends actually in trouble with Joey at QB? They’ve won the last three titles, let’s calm it down a bit with this. But also, yes. 

 

 

 

• Is running a football league bad for you? It would seem so. Jeff Krol's teams are a combined 2-11 this year, he’s tired all of the time, and he leaves the fields by 1pm every week. Conversely, since giving up control of the TSL, Topper has a Ferrari, is beating the women away from him with a stick, is on the cusp of the most anticipated comeback in TSL history, and rumor has it his hair has returned. You be the judge. 

 

 

 

•  What “Trending Down” teams do you expect to ‘turn it around’? I’m not counting the Stunts in this, because of course they’ll be fine. I think the real answer is Scared Hitless. They’ve been losing games, but they’re still playing well. They’re a battle tested bunch, and they’re a play or two away from having a couple more wins. 

 

 

 

• Can you crown any division champions yet? I can’t imagine The Family losing in D3. They’re just too complete in every facet of the game: Offense, Defense, Males, Females, QB. And some of them are still learning the game! Every other division feels up in the air a little bit still. 

 

 

 

• What are the bar specials this week? I believe that there is an Oktoberfest sampling from 2-4 this week, and there may be beer steins involved? Sounds like a pretty good time. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• BDD 47, Blachuranus 30

• The Dirty Dozen 45, Steph Infection 42

 

 

 

• Games of the Day:

• 9:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Just Get Open

• 10:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Puckett All-Stars

• 11:00 - Legends vs Sticky Bandits

• 12:00 - ILF vs THK

• 1:00 - Pit Harade vs Two Tuddies

• 2:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Father Baker

• 3:00 - Freeballers vs The Untouchaballs

 

 

 

• Global Warming continues to be the MVP of the season, as my Weather Channel app tells me it’ll be 76 degrees and sunny in Buffalo on Saturday. 

 

 

 

• The TSL podcast was a good listen with Bobby McConnell this week, I didn’t see if there was a new episode of The Roost this week or not yet. The TSL media has been really good all over this season. 

 

 

 

• THE TSL BANQUET IS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8TH. I’ll repeat this every week so people can’t say “oh man I didn’t know”. 

 

 

 

• Awesome work by the couple on Back That Pass Up that adopted one of the dogs from Dog Day a few weeks ago! 

 

 

 

• This season, across the board, feels like one of the most wide open seasons in recent history, and it’s made for some excellent football. The Playoffs are going to be nuts. 

 

 

 

• One thing that’s been in my email inbox lately has been TSLers talking about how great the new staff has been at the Rose Garden to us. It’s good to hear after many seasons of hearing complaints. 

 

 

 

• I was informed that a group of TSLers are considering getting a big group from the league to go to Miami for the Bills vs Dolphins game in January. I was told the Freeballers were heading this idea, so if you’re interested, reach out to one of them. 

 

 

 

• I’ll repeat: be cool to the refs. Things have indeed been better, but now that we’re closer to the games having higher stakes, I want to reiterate that you’ll only hurt your team by being a jerk and getting kicked out. 

 

Good luck in Week 7. 

 

-GF OUT

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