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“Luck is what you have left over after you give 100%”

Langston Coleman

Welcome to Topper Sports League “The Soap Opera” Episode #6. Just in case you haven’t been watching lately let’s catch up on some of our storylines shall we……

Katie Keller and 40 Year Plan Guy still have hope as Molly Morgan and 40YPG still have NOT I repeat NOT gone mini golfing. Why? Great question, maybe 40YPG loves Katie Keller or maybe she pleaded with him not to…..we may never know but there…still….is…hope… these 2 love birds live happily ever after. So the Gryff is struggling and everyone points to “glasses” as the cause. The reports I have received tell me “glasses” is the cause of like 2-3 TDS against a week. That and Tony is lazy on defense and doesn’t run as hard as Burr. MW can’t get their QB to the fields as they have been run over the last few weeks on defense. Team Toper crushed Bullet Club and made them look really bad. It’s looking like Jeff Easton is struggling and JJ could be slowing down as she hasn’t been as dominant as in session’s past. Bobby beat Turner AGAIN as we have yet to see a Delecki sighting or a Shari sighting now that I think about it. Speaking of Turner and Co up 22-7 at half last week against TEIM” Dr B” took to his soap box and gave one of the most “magical halftime speeches in league history” which propelled TEIM to a shocking 37-36 victory. Next up is their grudge match with Hootie and the Bro Fish. Peachy Platoon keeps winning, Hope N Ruin and NPI keep losing. Matty’s Angels are up against it this week but we all know the biggest game in D5 is “coming soon”. We found out HK7 is more than a “good QB, 1 good guy and 1 good girl.” We also learned that words can hurt and TSL applauds it’s journalists on “going into the trenches” and into “hostile territory” for sideline interviews.  I keep hearing Joe K is going crazy trying to find out who the Mentalist is. Gordon has stood tall and has not gone “bi-polar” to date and probably won’t all session. Darryl Carr QB Superstar continues to fight as we hear he is having none of this “relegation” talk. TSL is working on “cardboard cut out” Dave Baker and I am hearing rumors that the league will once again discuss rules and ideas to improve rosters in the off season.

Where do we go from here? What happens next? Let’s find out shall we……..

DIVISION #1

ANGRY BUFFALO +7 VS RACKS AND SACKS: There was rumor circulating that Nick Sooch might be gone for the season. If this is true AB is in big trouble. RAS are struggling mightily right now. If Sooch is out I predict an old fashioned “defensive battle.“ Both teams will go head to head, shot for shot in an old school defensive battle that will end Racks and Sacks 8 Angry Buffalo 7. QB is the most important position. I wonder if one or both of these teams should install the wishbone offense and just run it.  Oh snap it just dawned on me what if Ricky Austin is the emergency QB on the AB roster that would be a magical ending to this story. RICKY=RATINGS!!!!     RACKS AND SACKS BY 1  If Ricky plays Angry Buffalo by 36

MARKETING MAYORS +3 VS PUBLIC ENEMY: My gut is saying though they lost 2 last week that MM will play their best game of the season. They know better than anyone they still have a shot but if they fall to 3-3 it’s over. PE has been on fire this session but they are a rhythm and timing offense that is coming off a bye week. PE never plays good after a bye week as it messes up their rhythm and causes issues. I expect an all out war that will be won late by MM as they must find a way to take this game. MARKETING MAYORS BY 1

#XTC +10 VS EYES DOWNTOWN: ED truly is one of the best teams in the history of this game. They have literally been showing up to the fields week after week with the B squad and missing players yet after 4 weeks they are 3-1. #XTC is a decent bunch but they just need QB stability. Hughes was on fire then he crashed into a wall. #XTC has size and they have speed they just are missing “it.” This is another reason why ED will come to town probably short handed again but will still walk away with a 10-13 point victory.  EYES DOWNTOWN BY 11

HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION “NO LINE”: This one should be good. I am curious to see how each attacks the other. TEIM can’t rush Coniff as I am not so sure Emily can run with Lindsay. I would make sure to watch Derreck wherever he goes if you are TEIM as he can jump into the sky. If I was TEIM I would keep my eye on who is playing safety for HATBF as their secondary can be exploited. This game should have all kinds of storylines and matchup headaches on each side. These teams know each other so well. Eric Kleckler knows the TEIM playbook but TEIM knows Eric Kleckler. This game should be a back and forth classic that might not be decided at all. In the end I am curious to see how TEIM does when the long ball goes up and I am very curious to see how HATBF does with their #3 on TEIM’s #3 as this is where they are most vulnerable.   I PREDICT A TIE

DIVISION #3

UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS +13 VS GRYFFINDOR: I’m thinking right about now Uncle Rico’s wishes they could hop back into their time machine and go back to the day Topper asked them to go to D3 so they could say HELL NO. Gryffindor probably wins this game by 30 but I am guessing “glasses” will be back so that drops 20 points off the line right away. Assuming “glasses” gets beat for 4 TDS and joey Batts throws 6-8 TDS this game could be a tad closer than one would think. BTW every week there is a “coin flip.” Why doesn’t Tony just go to each coin flip and meet a new friend each week at the coin flip? He needs 6 more friends and he has like 6 more games left. It seems like an easy solution….right? GRYFFINDOR BY 10

SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE VS COBBLESTONE +7: Can someone I mean anyone call or text Darryl Carr QB Superstar and make sure he has 2 girls this week. If not please help him. I know Darryl Carr QB Superstar is an international man of mystery and in most cases just has to nudge the 1 -4 women he wakes up next to each morning and ask one or all 4 of them to play but for some weird reason he isn’t. Is he sad? Is he trying to teach TSL or his team some life lesson none of us are understanding? SITE is way better than last year and they actually could make the playoffs and not fall flat on their faces. They have looked kinda sorta good in spurts here and there. SITE will win this game big and I will have to spend my Saturday afternoon once again explaining to people that you just don’t walk up to Darryl Carr and tell him Cobblestone is relegated to D4. It doesn’t work like that.  SITE BY 8

SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE VS STICKY BANDITS +4: In theory the winner of this game is pretty much guaranteed a playoff spot while the loser will have some work to do the next few weeks. SB are the peoples champions so we are cheering for them but SITE has had a few tough sessions so we want them to win too. It appears we have yet to find a “good Dave Baker” pic as the ones provided have been too dark. So we will take one Saturday so the cardboard cutouts will be ready for Oct 20. I then predict a Sticky Bandit winning streak will begin. Under cardboard cut out Dave Bakers leadership I predict the Sticky Nation will win out. They won’t win this week though, but they could, but they won’t, or they will.  SITE BY 3

DMX +6 VS BULLET CLUB: Team Topper exposed a lot of flaws in the Bullet Club defense last week. Let’s see if the Club goes into correction mode or are they destined to make the same mistakes they have been making for weeks? DMX right now is 3-2 but they have not been overly impressive. I for sure thought they would take D3 over as they are the only carry over from last year’s D2. They are offense all day every day but they have to play better defense. BC is struggling on both sides of the ball and needs a big win this week. If it was me I would start by moving your safeties up 3 yards. As the weather gets cruddier it tougher to make the long throws so take the short throws away from your opponents. Sometimes the easy fixes are the best fixes. BULLET CLUB BY 3

STICKY BANDITS +8 VS MORNING WOOD: On paper MW should beat Sticky but let’s be honest we just don’t know who is or isn’t playing for MW. If the MW QB doesn’t show this is bad as it forces MW to move their best WR to QB. Now your best player is playing QB and not WR which totally changes the way defenses attack you. BTW if your QB is gone they do have a QB sub list that would help. Sticky needs some wins and they need them fast. MW is a good team but no one ever truly knows who is coming and going. If MW is at 100% they win this big but if not anything can happen. Regardless of who is or isn’t playing QB just throw Mo the damn ball wouldya?  MORNING WOOD BY 7

DIVISION #4

BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +7: I am a tad surprised BSS is 3-2 right now. They have looked very good on offense and are playing just enough defense to win some football games. I expect a very close very solid football game between 2 very decent squads. Both these teams play solid mistake free football. They don’t get too crazy and don’t make stupid throws. They don’t gamble and play dumb. This will be a game of execution. Both these squads are very evenly matched so this should be a game worth watching. My gut says BSS is finally, after all this time, poised to take another step forward as they continue their quest for a D4 title.  BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 6

PUCKETT ALL STARS VS STEVE’S CUZ’INS +8: Cousin Steve looked so good after week #1 but totally laid an egg a week later. He must get up off the mat and continue to throw magical spirals in the air to his WR’S. PAS are really good. They are quick, they are smart and they have a QB that can throw gas so SC better be ready to go. If this game goes the track meet route I fear PAS have a few more runners than SC. SC will get some gains here and there I just don’t see them surviving a track meet this week. Beware the longball Cousin Steve. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 7

3RD AND SCHLONG +7 VS ULTIMATE WARRIORS: Don’t look now but 3AS is 2-3 and Katie Keller’s kryptonite is heading her way this week. Last time the “Queen Bee” went head to head with Katie Keller Sam took her to school. In the offseason Katie Keller has been training and from what I hear incorporating special “Eastern European” training techniques in anticipation of this battle. 3AS must win this game but UW will be coming to town hopping mad as HK7 laid the smacekth downeth on them last week. I expect hell, fire and brimstone in this game. I for one can’t wait to see who wins Sam vs Katie Keller Round #2. ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 7

TUNE SQUAD +10 VS INDECENT EXPOSURE: Tune Squad has shown flashes here and there but they just seem a tad out of their element as they need more time to gel and learn the TSL game. I see some skill on their sideline they just need time. IE is a journeyman team that has been there and done that. They are balanced and should take this one rather easily. IE doesn’t make a ton of mistakes so they should come in and just play solid football in route to a big win this week. INDECENT EXPOSURE BY 11

HK7 VS NO PUNT INTENDED +9: Beware the trap game. Yes, NPI is 0-4 and they are only scoring like 21 a game while HK7 is scoring like 47 a game. I know its easy to say HK7 will crush NPI but let us not forget that NPI will know better than anyone that if they lose this game they probably miss the playoffs. NPI has no choice but to come with supreme effort this week. HK7 has been dialed in on both sides of the ball. They took UW to school last week as they just played solid smart football. I don’t see much glitz or glam on the HK7 sideline I just see a solid football team playing a team game. NPI will come with the thunder but HK7 probably has a bit too much offense for NPI to handle.  HK7 BY 10

TUNE SQUAD +13 VS CINTAS: Tune Squad gets to meet the Batman this week. There are those that will wonder if Joey Batts challenges Tune Squad to play him 1 on 6 for the first drive. Cintas is 2-1 and they are looking solid as usual. Their QB is super talented and brilliant and really smart and really good and really really really awesome. Tune Squad shocked a few folks as their QB seems to have a tremendous arm they just kept going long too much. If I was Tune Squad I would just slow the game down and go after simple 6-10 yard throws then build from there. Cinta’s needs this game bad so I am sure they will not be looking past this team this week. CINTAS BY 11

DIVISION #5

ACE +8 VS CUNNING STUNTS: Oh noooo I am not going down that rabbit hole again. ACE right now must be having nightmares as another gender team is heading straight for them. This time Joey Batts is heading to town. ACE got smoked by the Angels as their second girl could not keep up with the #5 Angel. It is fair to ask how will the 2nd girl of ACE do against the 5th girl of the Stunts? I do not think that well either. The Stunts will not go as long as the Angels did but they are a precision team based on rhythm and flow. Their offense will dink and dunk ACE all over the field. I fear our friends at ACE are once again in for a long day. CUNNING STUNTS BY 10

HOPE N RUIN +7 VS COME FROM BEHIND: Let’s just say it like it is Hope N Ruin’s season is on the line this week. HNR is 0-4 and one more loss could kill them as they will struggle to make the playoffs. CFB is a battle tested vet savvy squad that has been there and done that. They are solid top to bottom. HNR will need to play smothering D and hope and pray they get an early break or an early pic in their favor. CFB is playing to win but HNR will be playing for their playoff lives. I am curious to see if HNR answers the bell and comes to play this week. COME FROM BEHIND BY 6

ALL WE DO IS QUINN +3 VS MATTY’S ANGELS: This one should be good between 2 of the best teams in D5. MA are known for their bombs away offense that is literally running over every defense in D5 to the tune of 46 points a game. AWDIQ plays solid offense but they are playing stifling defense these days as they are holding opponents to only 19 a game. This is your classic O vs D matchup. If memory serves me right there is some “bad blood” on both sides from a few seasons ago so this should be a good one. I would think these 2 should get a really good look at each other as there is a very good chance they will be seeing each other again real soon. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 6

UFO +10 VS MATTY’S ANGELS: I have a feeling the Angels will be attacking the middle of the field early and often in this one. UFO needs to “stay home” and play disciplined defense or the Angels offense will light them up like a Christmas tree. On offense UFO has some size mismatches they can take advantage of if they ISO their heavies against the shorter safeties of MA. On paper this looks like a blow out but if they play smart UFO can stay in this game. MATTYS ANGELS BY 11

WITTER’S +8 VS ALL WE DO IS QUINN: Witter’s is 2-3 and got a very big win against Hung Buffalo last week. Witter’s showed tough vs Matty’s Angels next up is another tough D5 test. If Witter’s wants to know if they are a contender or pretender this is the week they find out. AWDIQ is very quick and very talented on both sides of the ball. If I were Witter’s I would move the zone up to try and stop the quick slants. AWDIQ seems like they like to throw quick and run out the yards instead of just throwing bombs away. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 7

DIVISION #6

TIGHT END ZONES VS PASSLESS CHAPS +1: The Chaps are struggling as their defense is just getting run over. If George Costanza has taught us anything, sometimes it is right to completely change the way you do things. If I was PC I would do a 180 from what you do on a weekly basis. Change it all up. Change your offense and change your defense. TEZ is 0-3 and they just haven’t looked good either. This could be the worst game on this week’s schedule. Both teams are capable of so much more and I am sure in time they will improve but it can’t get much worse. The winner will gain some much needed confidence while the loser will be done like dinner.  The fun part is we don’t know which team will win or which team will lose. PASSLESS CHAPS BY 3

THE MCKENZIE AGENCY VS BIPOLAR EXPRESS +7:  I am hearing quiet rumbles Ferger might be MIA this week. That begs the question if the TMA leader is gone who gets to throw? Will it be Rameer? Will it be Andy? Will it be Brent? Will it be B’s Brother? Anything is possible in this crazy league. BPE is struggling but they are new so that can be expected. Gordon to date has not mamed, killed or even really yelled at anyone so he is doing great and has beaten every expectation and every temper pool I can think of. BPE needs a win and they need it soon. I just don’t think this will be the week. Even if the rumors are true and Ferger is away this week TMA should have enough to hold down the fort while he is gone. THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 7

CELINO SEWER RATS +8 VS PEACHY PLATOON: It appears its #1 vs #2 time though the Practice Squad may not agree with that statement. PP has been dialed in as they have dismantled like pretty much everyone TSL has put in front of them. CSR have looked good themselves as they have won some big games so far this season. Both teams are solid on both offense and defense. In games like this I look to see which team has more “difference makers.” If I use that equation the answer is simply “Peachy Platoon” so I see them pulling away late in this one. PEACHY PLATOON BY 7

5 Questions for Saturday

1. Did Team Topper draw up the blue print to beat Bullet Club and are more teams about to follow suit? Team Topper just threw underneath the coverage and dinked and dunked their way to a big win. The BC safeties were way too deep and they got exploited over and over and over again. If I was DMX I would look into what Topper did. DMX usually goes the longball route but this is the wrong team to try that with if you ask me.

2. By days end could SITE finally have a winning record? I know it seems impossible but (2) very winnable games are on the horizon. For the first time in forever SITE is flirting with a “winning” record. Cobblestone and Sticky Bandits both play suspect defense and SITE has been very good on offense to date. If SITE can keep scoring points at the clip they are averaging they could take both these games.  

3. Can anyone stop Peachy Platoon? To be honest, in my opinion, this is the last serious threat they will have until they reach the D6 title game in a month or so. CSR is the pretty much the only thing that stand between Peachy Platoon and 10-1.

4. What’s the over/under in the Angry Buffalo/Racks and Sacks game? That would be 34. If Ricky shows up though the over/under goes to like 60. If we get no Ricky I wonder if we see 4 TDS combined in this game.

5.  Will “Glasses” be in the lineup this week for Gryffindor? I am hearing rumors that TSL is about to hold the “game line” up as no one knows if “glasses” will be playing this week. I am hearing “glasses” could represent a 18-24 point swing in the line one way or another. If he plays Gryffindor could be in store for a shootout. If he doesn’t the Gryff probably rolls Uncle Rico’s. With playoffs quickly approaching Joey Batts has a big decision to make as he is in the #6 hole right now and we all know being the #6 seed does not bring home a TSL MVP award.

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on is in D1 where it is quadruple dog on when Hootie and the Bro Fish have at it with Tight Ends in Motion. It appears that bragging rights for Sticky Brofish in Motion Inc LLC will be on the line in this one. HATBF is 3-1 and have looked dialed in the last 3 weeks while TEIM came back from the dead and shocked Marketing Mayors last week. These teams know each other well so this game should simply come down to execution.

2. I am a student of this game and love the “big money” battles. There will be no better battle this session than the battle looming between Andy Smith and Ryan Radke. Andy Smith, for a while now, has been one of the best players in the game today. His range is amazing, he is athletic and is a crazy play maker. Ryan Radke burst onto the scene last session and to date has run by and over every guy who has tried to cover him through the first four games of the session. I am curious to see if PE say “F IT” and just throws Radke right at Smith to see what happens or will they move Radke around and stay out of the middle.  By days end we should know if this is still Smiths yard or will Radke take over?

3.  Speaking of battles if you are going to have an epic male battle why not have an epic female battle as well?  Sam vs Katie Keller should be awesome this week. Let us not forget Sam totally ran over Katie Keller in last sessions playoff game. Since then Katie Keller seems to be a step quicker and a step better. Will Sam remain the Queen Bee or is Katie Keller ready to take her title?

4. Matty’s Angels vs All we do is Quinn should be a barn burner. Both squads are solid top to bottom. MA loves to go bombs way while AWDIQ is a very savvy quick slant and quick throw team.  The question is, was and will always be can the 2nd girl of AWDIQ run with the #5 girl on MA? This my friends is the battle to keep your eye on.  I am hearing rumors Matty’s Angels could be getting back one of the game’s best players this week.

5. Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Indecent Exposure is a bigger game this week than you think. BSS looks to be on the verge of finally breaking out and making a climb up the ladder. To do that they must win this game or they lose all their street cred. IE is 1-2 and must win this game because if they lose they will fall into down the ranks. Right now they sit at #8 but one has to think NPI will start winning some games so the pressure will be on. This game should be good between 2 teams that match up quite well with each other.  

6. I am heard from a friend who has a cousin who knows a guy who told a girl that Joe K is totally “flipping out” behind the scenes because he has no clue who the “Mentalist” writer is. It almost makes you wonder is he heading in the right direction with this person’s identity? Or did we already see this chase coming and to throw him off the scent decided to have the article written by like 3 different people in 3 weeks? Here comes your Fredo moment Joe K….What if the article writer is someone you know “very” well and literally the answer could be “right under your nose.” Think about that one for one second and good luck on your chase for this person’s true identity. BTW I read this week’s Mentalist article on my true identity. My guess is that my true identity is that of Dave Baker. Let’s see in time if I am right.

7. I am very interested to see how Matty’s Angels and UFO match up against each other this week. UFO has a big hole in the middle of their zone on most days not because of lack of talent but lack of technical knowledge. Mark would be wise to “stay home” or he will be beat “over the top” early and often in this one. I am curious to see if UFO uses its height and size advantage on the edges. I would find out where the male safety is and go to the other sides with size. Gender teams love to ISO their 5th girl on the 2nd cover girl of an opponent and this always works well. Not enough teams ISO their tallest WR on a vastly shorter Angel DB and just “throw it up in the air.” Most will tell you the Angels should roll UFO but I still think UFO can stay in this game if they “play smart.”

8. (2) teams with an insane amount of pressure on them this week are NPI and Hope N Ruin. Both squads do not have east matchups but both MUST win this week or both could be on the outside looking in come playoff time. It’s won’t be easy as HNR has Come from Behind this week while NPI has a red hot HK7 coming to town. Both these squads must do something to fix their anemic offenses. You can’t win if you can’t score.

9. I wonder if #XTC shows up with their full roster and Eyes Downtown plays short again will #XTC be “just as dumb” as they were in last session’s playoff or will they finally try and man ED? They should have listed to Tommy Hughes last playoff and it cost them big time.

10. What must ACE be thinking right now? They are 1-4 and their playoff lives are on the line this week. To make matters worse another gender team is heading their way. MA likes to go long but the Stunts are a rhythm and flow system offense. They will bring a whole new set of issues to worry about. ACE has to be shaking their heads this week but they MUST win this game.

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