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The final week of the regular season has come and gone. Some teams finished right where we thought they would (Public Enemy, Matty’s Angels); some are unexpectedly at the top of their division (GLBS, Slytherin that Endzone); some were a huge disappointment (Money Ball, Full Throttle). It turned out that some of the teams crying about moving up to the next division were right in doing so. For others, (ahem-Gryffindor-cough) they now look like huge assholes, especially when they talk shit during the games about how they’re so much better than their opponents. But I digress…Lenny Alba Appreciation Day was considered to be a huge success based on the reactions of those I spoke to throughout the day. Was it a little cold for ice cream? Maybe, but that didn’t stop us all from indulging on 1 or 4 novelty treats. The DJ was playing jams up at the bar. I even heard some people saying they got a dollar off on a drink once! Oh happy day! Speaking of happy days, not everyone was having the happiest of times on all the fields. Let’s take a look at what went down.

The Breakfast Club playoffs began this week with the bottom 4 teams fighting for a spot in the semi’s. Hot TaMolly’s beat Peanut Butter Kelly Time in a blowout game consisting of numerous picks and turnovers. PBKT looked ready to see this season come to an end as most everyone was moping around within the first 2 drives. HT were surprised to be in the position of having to play for a spot. They were overheard saying that they not only should have placed higher than 3rd, but they “should have been undefeated”. Strong words, I look forward to seeing if they hold merit in the weeks to come.

EmC HammerTime beat Natural Born Kellers, ending Topper’s odd year BC Championship run. Ricky was MIA so once again non-award winning Tommy Hughes filled in for ECHT. This was a close game that could have gone either way. Katie Keller played her heart out for her team and JZ gave it his usual 110%. Unfortunately for them, Glenn Bird and Drew showed up big as well as the girls of ECHT. I did not envy Karl the ref in this one as it seemed like there was someone bitching about something after every play. It came down to the wire and ECHT was able to run down the clock and advance to the semi’s next week.

A&A had a chance for co-ed football immortality by beating Public Enemy and breaking their undefeated streak. I am equal parts disappointed and relieved this did not come to fruition as, on one hand, it would have given me a chuckle to see a C1 juggernaut lose their streak to a C2 team who claimed they did not have the talent to move up to C1. One the other hand, we all would have had to hear not only Matty Ice but also JZ talk nonstop about it afterwards. But alas, PE got an early lead after Matty threw a pick on 6th down from the 10 yard line. The half ended with PE up by 3 scores. A&A was able to score coming out of the half but PE answered right back by a phenomenal catch by Greg Osika. As cool as that was, however, he totally ruined it by lateraling the ball right to Tony on the 1 yard line, which A&A obviously cashed in on. It was too little, too late though and PE took the win, 40-15.

All We Do Is Quinn played Slytherin That Endzone in a tight game that both teams were right in there for. AWDIQ has always been known to have speedy guys but the new faces on SITE have truly impressed this session. I saw Dawson make play after play gaining copious yards after the catch. Newman is thriving now that he has solid athletes to throw to, including Abby who has hands and speed. He was hurt during his BC game so it was probably in this team’s favor that he no longer has to throw at 9 as well. Vince Taverna is making his way up the QB Power Rankings thanks largely to his solid male and female receivers. Rawdog showed up big again in this game. The match came right down to the end but SITE was not able to punch it in for what would have been the game-winning TD and AWDIQ walked away with the win 33-30.

Frodo Swaggins demolished 3rd & Schlong. I have no idea what happened to our perennial favorites but to say they struggled would be a huge understatement. Scott Keller Sr threw multiple picks early in the game. Katie Keller tried to motivate her team to press on but they could not recover from the early hole they put themselves in. QB Scott D on FS was connecting with all his receivers, especially Tammy, who caught her fair share of TDs. Nick Buzcek and Josh Schneider played great defense, contributing largely to their stats this week. FS came away with 74, yes I said 74, points over 3&S’s 19.

Buffalo Solar Solutions squeaked by Cobblestone, 20-14. Cobblestone did have Daryl in attendance and finally seemed to be firing on all cylinders. Daryl was connecting with his nephews and utilizing Steph who he brought in as a sub. BSS struggled offensively but I must say, #1 on this team is always open. Also noticeable on BSS was the girl in the black headband who has great hands especially on contested catches.

Hope N Ruin thought they had the game against Overcompensators in the bag. OC had other ideas though and made a drastic come back after some early-game errors. These teams are very similar to each other in that both teams struggled making stops on defense but were able to produce by keeping to simple offensive plays. The QB of OC spread the ball around to all his players and they squeaked by with the win, 47-46.

Eyes Downtown played Gryffindor as both of these teams were ranked second in their respective divisions. ED was missing just about everyone, most notably Bobby, Jeff, and Matty Mohr. Chadwick stepped in at QB to try to improve his personal record, albeit with a short cast of characters. His depleted offense had trouble running the routes according to his specifications which he was none too happy about. They also had some in-hand drops, very uncharacteristic of this team. On the other side of the ball, Joey Batts is finally looking like his old self. He took control of this game, utilizing the weapons he has. Matt played an outstanding game both offense and defensively. ED could not figure out how to defend the plays Joey called, resulting in Gryffindor taking the upset win, 27-13.

Marketing Mayors played Bullet Club in the first of the latter’s double header this week. BC was outmatched and got down early in the game. They were able to get within a couple scores as the game progressed but had too many drops and could not get a stop on defense. They refused to change from their usual cover 2 defense which clearly isn’t working as they are giving up an average of 32 points a game, allowing for the most points scored in the division (and C1 in case you were wondering). Molly Morgan had a great game for MM and Kevin could run circles around the defenders of BC without being tagged, resulting in a MM win, 52-41. 

Bullet Club played Gryffindor later in the day in a game who’s winner would take the 1st place spot while the loser dropped down to 3rd place and have to fight for their lives next week. BC struggled on offense due to high winds. They couldn’t get anything going and their usual strategy of going deep backfired completely. Joey Batts was able to capitalize on this and used his teams’ speed to take advantage of the short field. They repeatedly ran the same plays, stretching the field to get guys open either in the middle or on the sidelines behind the flats. Once again, BC had no answer on defense and lost 8-49.

Ugandan Warriors played Come From Behind, who finally looked to have a full team together, minus Paul. CFB’s stand-in QB has seemed to come into his own at the right time now that the playoffs are among us. Helping his success, Sean made some huge plays on offense. Uganda played a solid game but need to work on their red zone defense. They would also benefit from a coach to draw up their plays. Blasé seems to be trying but he doesn’t have the experience to orchestrate an entire offense as opposed to the one person he is intending to throw to. Their females continued to play well and could be the determining factor in some of these close games. CFB took the win 28-24, bumping them right behind Uganda in the rankings.

The Jabronies beat the pAssless Chaps 42-28. Joe Miano is continuing to impress at QB, putting up a commendable 319 points on the season. Jeremy also caught some attention this week after a pick that would have been a TD if he hadn’t stepped out for the gender TD. He showed some seriously unexpected speed after the catch. PC had too many drops, especially in the end zone. Anyone who has been around for even part of a session can tell you, 2 or 3 drops on a drive is not going to win you any games. Coach Jay seemed to be working out the playbook in what could only be described as this “rebuilding” year.

Two teams mentioned in my introduction played against each other this week. Unfortunately for the disappointing Full Throttle team, their opponent, GLBS, fell into the pleasantly surprised category. FT has struggled offensively all session, resulting in their last place finish and 1 win. Perhaps not surprising as most of their losses have not even been close games, FT played as if they were already defeated this whole game. GLBS was on the other side of my expectations, mainly because I wasn’t sure who this team was going into the session. Their season started out all over the place, losing to End Game, shutting out Uncle Rico’s then losing to Puckett All Stars. If you’d have told me then this team would finish 2nd in the division, I’d have chuckled in your face. Josh played great for them until his season-ending injury. Glenn has stepped in at QB and quickly became a leader. With his leadership and defensive prowess, his team has the talent to make it far in this extremely competitive division. They marched over FT, 42,22.

Matty’s Angels held on to their undefeated record by beating Vandalay Industries, 52-43. Topper was off playing with his C1 team, so non-award winning Tommy Hughes filled in at QB. Clearly, the Angel’s continue to have difficulty on defense but they more than made up for it on offense. Even without subs, the Angels were able to outrun the defenders of VI. Tensions ran high by the end of the game as some players do not appreciate Matty Ice’s game time enthusiasm but if you go undefeated in a session, a little show boating is warranted. Looking at the rankings now, that win put the Angels in first place overall in the league, not that there’s a trophy for that…

TMA played BiPolar Express again, meaning BE was once again missing 3 of their usual females. TMA was without Ron for the second week in a row so Rich stepped up to try to fill his shoes and had a great game. TMA went with a 3 female offense to combat the scoring of a gender team. They gave them the short passes and did not allow for any long balls. This strategy seemed to work well and resulted in several turn over on downs or punts. Gordon went “red shirt” after Rameer slapped a ball out of Riley’s hand, preventing BE from getting a play off which would have resulted in an offense penalty on TMA. He did admit his infraction but still, for shame Rameer, for shame. TMA went on to win 12-9.

XTC pummeled a once again depleted Title Shot team, 37-8. Dubey was in attendance this time but played receiver. They also went iron man on defense again as they were missing just about everyone we have seen this session including award-winning Tommy Hughes and Devon. Nick Sooch played great for XTC. With the talent they have and a QB who knows how to use that talent to their advantage, it’s no surprise they ended up 4th in C1 and could even pull off a playoff win.

Peachy Platoon went against Sticky Bandits and came away with a 30-14 win. Dean Thompson played the game he has played all session that no one seems to want to adjust to. Of all teams, I thought SB would have the smarts to have an answer for his play calling. The pitch play continued to gain them 10-15 yards at a time. Marissa showed off her talents, making great plays and sharp route running. SB was without QB Alex so Ricky Recckio went in to throw. He didn’t have the magic they needed on offense but made a couple big picks for his team. Both teams have tough draws in the first round of playoffs but have shown they have the moxy to get it done.

Eyes Downtown had another game later in the day against Tight Ends In Motion. They had much more success in this game as Bobby McConnell returned as well as Jeff Farr. Bobby also brought in a 3rd girl to give Taylor and Beth a breather throughout the game. Rumors were swirling Chadwick was not present for the game as he was upset about the morning match up and left in a tizzy. ED looked much more like their usual selves with Bobby back calling the plays. TE had Seth throwing and Alex playing receiver. I, for one, thought this was a great idea as Seth is one of the top QBs available and if his attendance could be relied upon, there’s no way this man should be playing back up. The game seemed closer than it was and tensions ran high in this one as well due to some unnecessary roughness that went uncalled. To be fair, tensions always run high when these teams play each other so it was only a matter of time. ED held on to their 2nd place spot and secured a first round bye with a 27-18 win.

Lastly, Ultimate Warriors finally got their first win of the session over Morning Wood, 20-16. The Warriors tried out Josh at QB who has looked to be their best option to date (albeit Sam got an unfair draw by having to play against Quinn in her starting QB debut). If anything, UWs should consider this a moral victory as it did not affect them in the standings but it saved them from being the only defeated team in the league. Morning Wood looked like a team ready for the summer to start. They would benefit from some throwing and catches practicing prior to next session.

So that concludes the regular season weekly reviews. Man did that go by fast. With playoffs looming, it is literally anyone’s game. There are even more questions than answers now than before the session began; Who will step up and be the hero? Who will implode and forever wonder what could have been? Will Public Enemy retain their streak and take another title? Will the Angels’ perfect session end with a title or disappointment? Who will try to use an illegal sub and face the wrath of Rameer? Will Joey Batts and Jeremy Burr win a title and have to think of another excuse to not move up? Will all of Title Shot show up and shock the world by thumping teams now that it’s playoffs? All these questions will be answered in a few short weeks’ time.

Top 3 of the Week:

1.      Topper- he pulled off a truly wonderful Lenny Alba Appreciation Day and continues to provide us with the best co-ed sports league in the area

2.      End Game- quietly on top of their division with a 153 point differential, this is a team to watch in the playoffs.

3.      Frodo Swaggins- coming back from an abysmal start, they end the session with the most points for amongst all nongender teams


Next week begins round 1 of playoffs. This is where heroes are made people so bring your A game and remember I’ll be watching…


~The Sentinel

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